Hindsight is always 20/20, and the Reddit post that asked the question "What are some things you realized too late in life?" is a testament to this fact. Its comment section is filled with thousands of responses from people of all ages, sharing the biggest lessons they've learned so far.
Some of the replies center around the theme of missed opportunities, like not pursuing your passion or spending more time with loved ones while others focus on the importance of self-care and personal growth. But when looking at it as a whole, the thread serves as a powerful reminder that our time on this planet is short, and we should strive to make every day count with intention and purpose.
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Its ok to catch yourself in your own BS. That's not you failing, its you being self aware and that will make you a better person.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Same goes for the reverse: Don't set others on fire to warm yourself.
Getting married and having kids is not "the ultimate life goal". Only do it if you really want to. Otherwise you'll do it just because it's expected of you and you'll be trapped in a very unhappy life
Dont try to hang on to a toxic friendship just because of your history.
Don’t hang on to toxicity. Period. Be it freinds , siblings, parents, partner, employer etc
Doing well in school doesn't mean you will do well outside of it.
I didn't do well in school, and I still don't do well. Where does that leave me?
I've found whatever happened in school is so irrelevant now. I thought employers would see if I had to do a course over again, or what I've failed. Turns out it all never really matter. What mattered was that I got through school.
Conversely, doing poorly in school doesn't mean you'll do poorly outside school.
Did very well at school, now professional life is so-so, and I find myself struggling a lot, especially as I don't have the social skills which enable me to stand out (while I did with "grades") when I was younger. Just have to deal with it.
yes. I know I'm smart, and I know I won't need half of what I'm learning in school later in life. but my parents can't accept that. they're always talking about my grades and school performance, yet refuse to get me the medication to help me do better—one of the many reasons why I'm cutting them off when I turn 18.
Corollary: Doing poorly in school doesn’t mean that you will do well outside of it; indeed, you will most likely do very poorly.
That applies more to university. Degrees are too easy to get these days and lead people into a false belief they're just going to walk into some well paid management job. University doesn't teach you common sense, practicality and many of the life skills that you need.
I did nothing during high school. I was the poster child for class clown with a bad home life. 20 years later and I just graduated with a Masters in Mechanical Engineering. Sometimes the reverse is true.
Was gonna say that here. Glad you did. Gladder that you said it about yourself :-) edit: typo
Load More Replies...Also, NOT doing well in school does not indicate future failure at life. It's all what you make of yourself.
There is so much more to life than formal schooling offers, There is so much more to life than formal schooling offers, although formal education does have its merits!
But you can not do well in school (due to things like poverty, abuse at home, etc.) and still do well in life! School is important, but it isn't everything!
Knowing how school works made it easier for me to be a student. Knowing how school works made my career much easier - I was a teacher.
...in fact many of the people who did well in school will be those that break later in life. As it is not everything that is taught in school, spending too much time and effort on school work might mean that you have to give up on other activities that might teach you other important life skills. The tasks that you are given in school and the tasks you'll encounter in life is often structured very diffently, e.i. real life seldom comes with a coriculum or in the form of a standard task with only one right solution that can be found in a book and be memorised. So if you are used to always doing well on the kind of tasks you meet in the school, not being able to perform in real life can be extra tough as nothing will have prepared you for this.
Just because you put effort and energy into a relationship, doesn’t mean the other person will.
some people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes,it’s alright Listen to this song
Don’t make other people’s lives your standard for living. Love what you have and love the people that support you
There are literally 8 billion people in the world and none of them act or think the same whatsoever , don’t try to mimic any of them
Take care of your teeth.
Dentist appointments are damn costly in us so make sure you don’t need them
Doctors are just people, and people are sometimes bias, useless, dismissive and just plain wrong.
“I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.”
I thought people didn't like me because I was nerdy and all. Turns out the problem was that I never gave them a chance because I assumed they wouldn't like me.
Don't assume people won't do to you what you wouldnt do to them.
You don't need someone else to feel complete. There was never a hole to begin with. It was just you finding your way through life. You don't start with a hole, you start with foundation and build up.
Some people are not meant to be in your life forever
'If something's worth doing, it's worth doing badly.'
It's really easy to get into the mindset of thinking that things have to be perfect, but that's also the kind of mindset that leaves you meticulously editing the first five thousand words of that novel you've been working on for half a decade. Sit down and finish the f*****g thing, *then* worry about fixing it up.
Perfect is the enemy of good.
My most hated term "good enough". But yeah, designers are never finished, we tend to abandon work because otherwise we would go insane.
Eating healthy and being active actually matters
Yup. My grandmother who witnessed 3 wars died at the age of 105 in a "poor area" by western standards, just by living in a village up in the mountains which requires lots of exercise, and eating nothing but a bit of meat and vegetables from her garden (no processed food)
That expecting others to act how you would in that situation does not work.
I was so afraid of failing that I stopped trying. I know now it's okay to be afraid but it's no excuse to give up. I'm 28 years old and just finished my first quarter of college with all A's. When I saw my grades I cried for a long time because I realised the biggest thing holding me back was me. It took time and a lot of therapy for me to get here but that's okay. Everyone grows at a different pace.
I've got to say; those 28 years must have been hard. Look at all those grey hairs!
Nobody has all the answers. Everyone is just trying to make sense of things the best they can
Being jealous or resentful of other people’s success is a negative weight on your back that serves no purpose.
There’s room for others to succeed as well as yourself. Work hard, be happy for others and patiently wait for your turn to come up.
I got a lot of this from my mom when I was in school. She did a lot to try and sabotage what I was working toward and tried to keep me from anything I was passionate about. Missed out on a lot of opportunities because of her. My grandmother stepped in and had my back when she could but was only able to do so much.
Don't let anxiety rule your life.
All those people looking at you at a dance, the gym, the beach, work, school. It just doesn't matter. Half the people won't remember you in five minutes. Very few are actually judging you and even if they are, f**k them. Do what makes you happy and helps you and leave regrets behind you. You are your own best friend. You are the love of your life. If you are happy with yourself, you win.
And if you're not happy, find help to fix it.
Being assertive and taking care of your own needs doesn't make you an a*****e and people aren't going to hate you for it.
The chances of you growing up to be something big is very unlikely.
And if you do accomplish something huge, it's even more unlikely that you'll keep that success for too long.
Be grateful for being average because it's very hard to do the basic things it takes to maintain a stable lifestyle that's nowhere near the "american dream".
That very few people actually wake up in the morning thinking: 'Hey, I'm going to be an a*****e and make someone else's life hell today'. Most of us think our behavior is justified.
As someone who has been "toxic" or at least not not cool, I can relate. It's more being very very self-centered. It took me time (and people not cutting ties with me) to realise my behaviour was not justified, but during the whole ordeal I was convinced I was in my right
Your stomach isn’t supposed to hurt all the time. I was knee-deep in denial for a while when I first started developing symptoms of Crohn’s Disease.
Side note: if you are in your late teens or early 20s and are having persistent stomach/gut pain, go to the doctor as soon as you possibly can. It could save you a lot of pain and surgery down the line.
As one of of the 90% women with endometriosis who were diagnosed too late, to the point where I might never be able to have kids: if periods hurt a lot, if bleeding is consequent to the point it prevents from doing usual tasks --> go see a doctor, insist and ask for an echography to be performed. It is not normal to endure significant pain when having your periods.
I should have traveled more when I was younger and single. If you’re in your early twenties, don’t waste time. Travel as MUCH as you can. If you time it perfectly, you can travel anywhere on a small budget. Don’t make excuses. Just do it.
you are assuming we are all trust fund beneficiaries or multimillionaires. Travel is expensive. For an South African (richest people in african mainland) to travel to the nearby african island of Mauritius, costs about R 30k/person excluding flights, so add another 8k or so. Say a family of four. That's R 184k. Many if not most families in South Africa earn that amount in an entire year. In effect, the cheapest overseas holiday in our country is a full year's salary for a typical earner. You will see stats online that the average salary is 24000 zar/month. That's not true. It's true for the middle class. Most people (about 80%) of our country are borderline poverty line. The reason the average is high is that we have economic apartheid: the middle class earn about 24k/mo but the cleaners, street sweepers etc., are between 4k and 16k./mo. Yes, 4k as in USD $200 per month. Exploitation of the workers!!!
Do not spend time arguing with people over things that won't matter in 3 hours, let alone 3 years.
And don't take advantage of the people who genuinely care about your well-being and how you feel.
Also don't argue with people who are not willing to listen and have already made their mind up. They will not change and it's a waste of time for both of you. On that note, don't be the person who doesn't listen even if you (think you) are right.
For whatever reason, no matter how trivial or stupid, some people are simply not going to like you. And that’s perfectly fine! It’s a foolish waste of time to try to win those people over. Focus your attention on the people who actually give a s**t about you — your time with them is limited. I’m finally learning to embrace this mindset after years of pandering to people who didn’t care.
*“The ones who love us best are the ones we’ll lay to rest, and visit their graves on holidays at best. The ones who love us least are the ones we’ll die to please. If it’s any consolation, I don’t begin to understand them.”*
People form initial judgements within 8 seconds of shaking your hand.
No one cares how much money you make
You care less what people think of you as you get older
Not true, I find that most people are interested in how much others make. Certainly in my country. It's one of the first questions but it appears as the form "what do you do" and "what do you drive"
Mindset really impacts outcomes. If you don’t believe you can be/do/achieve something, you probably won’t. Self-fulfilling prophecy is no joke.
Sorry, but to me this is really "US start-up InSpIRaTiONal self-entrepreuneur" BS. In so many cases you will start a position or project with a "Good mindset" but the odds (people, situation) are against you and you cannot do anything about it. That's why people do burn outs, they believe until the end that it's only up to them when it's not. They mean well, but it's not enough. Stop blaming yourself if you have done your best and it doesn't work out, you are not the one blame. "Self fulfilling prophecy" is a joke when you do a corporate job.
To live in the present moment and stop over planning the future. There’s only so much I can control in my life and the rest I just have to let go and let it be. There’s no point stressing out about the future and things I can’t control. Unexpected things happen in life and we never really know where/how we end up. I just gotta make the most of what’s going on in my life now and be more present with people around me.
After all, it is said that nothing in life is as certain as uncertainty. I myself spend way too much time and resources on "what if?" thinking. Days are wasted if you don't know how to focus on the moment because your mind lives in the future. Life is nice in the sense that you never have to stop learning new things. I'm trying to teach myself to live more in the moment and even be present in it.
Smiling more and being nice in general!
Honestly it makes life so much easier and more fun, more people take to you, you learn more. You argue less! I got tired of arguing all the time so I started reading ways to avoid arguments.
I finally learned that you don't always have to be right. If the other person's viewpoint is different and it isn't vital, let it go. Even say "you may be right" or just "okay" and go your way.
How little responsibility you really have prior to being 18 years old. I took a lot of my life prior to this age for granted. I was very anti-establishment. I hated school. I played sports but I wasn't that competitive, I didn't have motivation because I thought the system was unfair. It took me until I was 19 to realize my view of the world was wrong, and I lost a lot of appreciation for my opportunities when I was younger. I'm 23 now, became a great student in college. I might be working for NASA in 2 months (fingers crossed) in conjunction with my college. So I've definitely learned from my mistakes, but my younger years were vastly under-utilized and underappreciated.
I had a lot of responsibility placed on me. The only difference between now and then is that now I get to decide what I spend my money on and what I do on my free time and when I get to do my chores.
Being a lawyer is a horrible job. Thousands of $$ in uni fees and years of university just to sit behind a desk all day and try to fix everyone's f**k-ups.
I studied law in my late 20's because I thought I was wasting my life by doing something I loved but wasn't as lucrative as law.
Now I make the big bucks but hate myself for it.
There's "family" and there's "Family". Took me a while to differentiate the two.
I learned that lesson also. I have the most amazing loving family now. I'm only biologically related to a few members of my family.
Load More Replies...If you think you might have children consider something I didn't think of, and I wish someone would have told me: Delaying having kids until my 40s has big tradeoffs: like most my age, my parents had me in their mid 20s. And like many my age I had my kids in my early 40s. By the time my kids are *really* able to develop deep relationships with their grandparents they will be in their late 70s and statistically close to death. Also, at 40 you're tired as f**k with the little aholes :)
My mom had me when she was 42, she died last year of cancer. I'm 33 now and have yet to start considering kids. If I do, she'll never meet them. If I had done so earlier, I would have NOT been ready for them, knowing how I felt and who I was with at that time.
Load More Replies...I lived overseas for 20 years, rarely visited home. On my return, my niece decided on a small wedding. Was getting herself aĺl worked up because we're a huge family. My advice? Can't plse everyone so just please yourself and i got culled from the guest list. Oooff. Least she took my advice.
Way too many of these assume all you have to do to have enough money for anything you want is to stop buying coffee everyday and save that money. Like we can all afford to buy coffee everyday in the first place.
Those are answers that apply to the individual who answered the question. Of course they don't apply for everyone. There is no universal truth, and if you answered the question what you realised too late in life, it wouldn't apply to everyone either. There is no absolute truth out there. There are always exceptions to every rule in life except that everyone dies eventually.
Load More Replies...I can't help but wonder if you only read the title of the overall post and jumped directly down here to make a generalized comment about generalized advice.
Load More Replies...Some good stuff here no doubt. Even so, sometimes I feel like I'm just reading bumper stickers.
I wish I asked for help or advice when I needed it instead of trying to be fiercely independent. Also don’t necessarily spend the money on university, if college courses can qualify you for good paying jobs. Consider a trade - you’ll never be out of work even if you get laid off.
If you don't have any expectations of the others around you, then you can never be disappointed or let down by them
You owe your parents nothing. Whatever sacrifices they made and however hard they worked to ensure you survived to adulthood - that’s what they were **supposed** to do. You don’t owe them grandchildren, you don’t owe them elder care, and you don’t owe it to them to fulfill the plan that they had for your life. Your life is your own. Don’t allow a sense of familial obligation to interfere with your goals for yourself - you’ll just end up old, miserable, and drowning in the sorrows of your shoulda coulda wouldas.
There's "family" and there's "Family". Took me a while to differentiate the two.
I learned that lesson also. I have the most amazing loving family now. I'm only biologically related to a few members of my family.
Load More Replies...If you think you might have children consider something I didn't think of, and I wish someone would have told me: Delaying having kids until my 40s has big tradeoffs: like most my age, my parents had me in their mid 20s. And like many my age I had my kids in my early 40s. By the time my kids are *really* able to develop deep relationships with their grandparents they will be in their late 70s and statistically close to death. Also, at 40 you're tired as f**k with the little aholes :)
My mom had me when she was 42, she died last year of cancer. I'm 33 now and have yet to start considering kids. If I do, she'll never meet them. If I had done so earlier, I would have NOT been ready for them, knowing how I felt and who I was with at that time.
Load More Replies...I lived overseas for 20 years, rarely visited home. On my return, my niece decided on a small wedding. Was getting herself aĺl worked up because we're a huge family. My advice? Can't plse everyone so just please yourself and i got culled from the guest list. Oooff. Least she took my advice.
Way too many of these assume all you have to do to have enough money for anything you want is to stop buying coffee everyday and save that money. Like we can all afford to buy coffee everyday in the first place.
Those are answers that apply to the individual who answered the question. Of course they don't apply for everyone. There is no universal truth, and if you answered the question what you realised too late in life, it wouldn't apply to everyone either. There is no absolute truth out there. There are always exceptions to every rule in life except that everyone dies eventually.
Load More Replies...I can't help but wonder if you only read the title of the overall post and jumped directly down here to make a generalized comment about generalized advice.
Load More Replies...Some good stuff here no doubt. Even so, sometimes I feel like I'm just reading bumper stickers.
I wish I asked for help or advice when I needed it instead of trying to be fiercely independent. Also don’t necessarily spend the money on university, if college courses can qualify you for good paying jobs. Consider a trade - you’ll never be out of work even if you get laid off.
If you don't have any expectations of the others around you, then you can never be disappointed or let down by them
You owe your parents nothing. Whatever sacrifices they made and however hard they worked to ensure you survived to adulthood - that’s what they were **supposed** to do. You don’t owe them grandchildren, you don’t owe them elder care, and you don’t owe it to them to fulfill the plan that they had for your life. Your life is your own. Don’t allow a sense of familial obligation to interfere with your goals for yourself - you’ll just end up old, miserable, and drowning in the sorrows of your shoulda coulda wouldas.