The grass is always greener on the other side. But if you spend your entire life trying to reach that other side, will you suddenly be happy once you get there? Or will you be filled with disappointment?
Redditors have recently been discussing things that people often think they want until they actually get them. This could be a huge house, their dream job, children, the opportunity to move abroad or anything else that many people fantasize about. But the reality is that we're all different, and these things simply might not actually be for you. Enjoy scrolling through this list of items and opportunities you might assume you want too, and be sure to upvote the ones that you wish more people would be honest about.
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As a tween, it was my period. The novelty of "becoming a woman" immediately evaporated.
Kids
I think most people are not prepared even if they love their kids. The majority of parents suffer and so do the kids.
I guess being in education I see first hand lots of parents who should not have had kids. .
A (really) big house. There is so much maintenance, expense, just keeping track of all your stuff… higher utility bills, more taxes, probably an HOA, just cleaning it is an impossible task without hiring professionals.
But then if you BOUGHT that really big house (as opposed to inheriting, it) you likely have the money to pay people to do what you don't want to do.
A high paying job. Making good money is enticing but when your work starts to consume your life and deteriorate your mental health, the money isn’t worth it anymore.
That's why I got a high paying job with less mental health impact and more work life balance
Leaving their significant other for someone else only for that person not to be all that good.
Retirement. My dad bought a house on a small, quiet island when he retired. Some people can only dream of doing something like that.
3 months into it he realised he was bored as f**k. All he does is watch tv all day now. He's miserable on that island.
Assuming he's fit and well, trying some new hobbies might help? Or come out of retirement and go back to work?
Myself included on this one— but I know many people that have certain kinks/fetishes they’ve always wanted to try, and totally did *not* enjoy it once it became a reality.
Their dreams fulfilled.
I was watching "Soul" and it hit hard when he finally got what he'd been chasing forever and ended up with a serious case of... "now what?"
Edit: Wow, so many people seem to have resonated with this, what I dubbed "the tragedy of the dream fulfilled". Many of you commiserate, others gave good advice.
I wish all of you the best on your journeys.
Living in Hawaii. The number of people that I know that dream of living here have no idea. I've lived here for 2 years and can't wait to leave.
Hm, more info would be good on this one. I wonder if it's the tourist trade that's causing the problem, or maybe cost of living?
Tourists, cost of living, severely different access to goods and services compared to the mainland, and a fair portion of the native population absolutely loathe non-natives.
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from the OP: In no particular order: 1. The most expensive state to live. 2. Almost everything is imported, from food to cars. I'm from Miami and went grocery shopping at Walmart when i was back home on vacation 6 months ago. Bought the same items I bought here on the island, and it cost about $80 less. 3. Electricity is ridiculous. I never paid more than $90 in Florida, and that was with central a/c running 24/7. When I was stationed in San Diego, I had a wall unit that I ran all the time, and it was never more than $120. It was my first month in Oahu, and I paid $434 for using the wall unit a/c in my 1b/1b apartment. I haven't turned it on since, and I pay almost $200/m. 4. Doesn't matter where you live, the roaches are a huge problem. They come out of nowhere. I live on the 8th floor of a pretty well maintained apartment building and have a roach problem. It's pretty common for homes here. More to come......
5. The food here is terrible. This is more of a preference for people, but coming from 2 great cities for food (Miami and San Diego), Hawaii is awful. It's hard to find anything worth the price here. If you want good steak, you have to drive 30 minutes. If you want good sushi, it's literally from their grocery store, Foodland. The seafood here is absolutely terrible. 6. Worst drivers. Mostly old Asian people who live here, and they don't know how to drive to save their life. The number of times I've been run off the road because some old lady decided to aggressively switch into my lane without signaling or checking blind spots is well over 10. 7. The rent is terrible. It's not worth the prices you'll pay. The good areas are very expensive and far from the main area. More to come........
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Lived on a few islands for years. Started out loving it but realized there are roaches everywhere all the time, every single company d.r.u.g tests, there's rampant homophobia, transphobia, racism and sexism, and they love to jail pot smokers. Starting pay for jobs is around $12 per hour and studio apartments are around $2,000 per month. The big industries are religion and the military. All the good land and endemic wildlife has been utteely destroyed, and the homeless are everywhere because there is no social safety net. Somehow, I just don't miss it.
I lived in Hawaii and hated it. It was intensely boring and it was nearly impossible to make friends because everyone was part of some closed clique that you couldn't get access to. Native Hawaiians? They hate you. Military people? Here today gone tomorrow. Tourists? Ugh. Nothing to do.
An issue I haven’t seen anyone mention is you have to pay for trash removal (often to be taken off the island) and it’s very expensive. As a result of this people with back yards literally fill it with piles of trash rather than pay. In residential areas outside tourist areas, you see this way too often. It smells, contributes to the pest issues, and of course, will end up, throwing or floating away in a rain storm. Tons of trash also washes up on shore from the ocean. Trash is a massive problem there.
I think that’s the same with every isolated island. Nice for holidays but not for full time living.
I lived on Hawaii , The Big Island . I was single with a good well paying job . The smaller islands can be very constricting . Raising a family is incredibly difficult and expensive . You can not bring your haloe and mainland attitudes and lifestyle along and figure that's it . I came across many people that simply did not belong there .
High cost of living. Most people can't afford a house there, so they are in a 2-bedroom apartment with no place for the kids to play. $8.00 bottle of milk, $6.00 ,tomato.
Born and raised. Awesome place. High cost of living but no heating bill or winter clothing needed. Lower than national average for violent crime. #31 for QOL, #1 for health insurance, #9 for public transportation, #24 for education, highest life expectancy (82 years), #1 in mental health, #1 in natural environment. LGBT+ is supported (we have sam sex marriage) unless you run into the stupid people but they can be found everywhere. As for racism it can be more covert rather than overt with most being felt by white people who at 23.69% are a minority as the state is dominated by POC, as well as FOTB people. Generally treat people with Aloha unless they be a-holes. Limited natural disasters, last hurricane was over 20y ago, some flooding, earthquakes are minimal and minor, blizzards only happen at the top of uninhabited mountains, rare cases of tornadoes and hail. Wonderful shopping, great weather for outdoor activities, and multicultural foods and activities.
...love that you mentioned the low crime rate. People cry about high cost of living but I've been here 13 years and have never been scared to walk my dog alone at night or go for a morning run. Coming from the Cleveland, Ohio area it's been like night and day. My rent used to be $600 for a 2 bedroom in Ohio but I felt like I was going to be raped or murdered just walking to my car. I pay $2600 for a 3 bedroom now but I feel SAFE. Don't even lock my doors everynight & sleep with the windows wide open kind of safe. That level of comfort and security is priceless The lack of white people (and I am white) is also priceless
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Hawaii is like New York - an amazing place to live if you are rich.
MAUI IS OPEN FOR TOURISTS FOLKS!!! The Red Cross is pulling out in June and then it's going to get real. My son lives in Lahaina. I hope to have an extended visit soon but def don't want to live there.
Very expensive and being off the mainland has its challenges. That said, vacation there was great.
Yes. More people should be made aware of this atrocity. In the 1980's & '90's when I lived there, violence against haoles, especially, was constant. It was almost a sport with the locals. Good and bad vibes in HI. Cost of living so high that only the uber-wealthy can afford to enjoy it there. Folks like me had to work seven days a wk. just to exist there. Plus side? Lots of fresh fruit. Nice weather.
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My Aunt & her bofriend lived in Hawaii. They both had well paying hospitality jobs at different resorts, no kids, hardly any bills. The cost of living there was killing them, apparently rent is astronomical.
Cost of living is a lot higher, homes are expensive, traffic, you are far from the rest of the nation, traffic, natural disasters. Did I mention traffic?
High cost of living. Most people can't afford a house, so a family is in a 2-bedroom apartment with no place for the kids to play. $8.00 bottle of milk, $6.00 tomato, etc.
I spent 3 weeks there and cried like a baby when I had to leave. I would have loved to stay. I wonder why this person has this perspective.
I just moved back to the mainland from Maui a few months ago. Living on Maui was my dream, and while I loved it, I agree that it is extremely difficult. 1) the cost of living is absolutely insane 2) electric is so expensive that most places don't have AC. I got really tired of being covered in sweat and too hot to do anything for half the year 3) Nothing lasts because of the humidity and salt air and windows always being open. Metal rusts quickly, electronics die, fabrics mold I have a lot more, but I'll leave it at those. Hawaii is a VASTLY different place to live than it is to vacation
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Ex was a Marine and was stationed in Hawaii for four long years, The cost of living is high even if you live and shop on base. Tourists were not a problem as we couldn't afford to hang out at the tourist spots. The locals are prejudiced against military and their families. The requirements for keeping your base housing clean did not allow for 6 month deployments to Japan and three kids at home. Oh, and the humidity. I grew up in a desert and felt like a hot wet blanket was on my face the entire time. No desire to go back.
I wanted a lot of water and woods. Got both to an acceptable degree. Sandy beaches in the left of the aerial. Free and private. Nobody ever around. Homestead_...b379a0.jpg 
Living on an island in the middle of the ocean is something I do not wish for!
It's hyped up to be much more than it is in reality. It's a nice place to visit. Nice weather year around, fresh fruits, fragrant flowers, sandy warm beaches. Living there is difficult at best, for everyone. Cost of living is insane. Rent, food, gas, etc. I moved there with family in the late '70's. Each of us became the victims of violent crimes within six months of moving there, why? Because we are white. Haoles. Translates to "dirt of the Earth". Young haole boys are targeted the last day of May each year, Kill Haole Day. People disappear. Usually into the ocean. Crime is rampant. Money is everything. I went to more funerals ( caused by violence ) than anywhere else. Lost multiple friends. If anyone is going to visit, please be careful. Be alert.
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An affair. People fantasize, sure - having problems with your spouse or feeling unappreciated? Marriage counseling, divorce, etc. All better options than infidelity. It's leaves lasting scars and tears apart families. Over the last several years I feel like I've seen such an increasing number of families destroyed.
I know one husband that went off to the oil fields because his wife requested he find a better job. Dude is gone 6 months of the year (in two month increments). Wife starts feeling lonely and unappreciated and has an affair with a co worker. It's taken four years for one of her kids to even talk to her again. Bad blood everywhere. Marriage counseling, communication, even a divorce if it was needed all could have avoided the situation.
Another example: One of my co-workers was told by his wife "I've had an affair, it's been going on for a month." He decides to forgive, go to marriage counseling, fix whatever was broken. Well she continues to have an affair because she's still having something of an existential crisis and is feeling extra condemened for her actions. Basically she told him she was having an affair at the beginning of what turned into a year long ordeal. She started the affair while pregnant. Two young kids already in the house. Her husband is still in the mindset of fixing whatever is broken. I watched this dude get dragged through the mud for a year. He's got severe PTSD now. Is a shell of who he used to be.
Affairs are basically a hand grenade in your life and everyone around you.
It's a f*****g disaster and you end up hankering after that person even when you put them out your life, and it f***s up your marriage forever. Do not recommend at all.
Being in a boss or leadership position. The pay is nice but the amount of pointless b******t is just ridiculous. Bosses have bosses and basically I'm just a messenger letting my employees know how their job is going to suck more...for absolutely nothing in return. Which they blame me for. There are better ways to make way more money for being hated....
I love being a manager. I model myself after my manager who is one of the most trustworthy, kind and fair people in my life. She always has my back, listens when I have a gripe (even if its about her) and seeks to create and maintain harmony with her staff. In turn, I treat my staff likewise. Best job ever! I’ve been a manager there for 26 years, and my manager for 29.
Being a business owner. Everyone thinks you just make your own hours and work whenever you want. Id trade it all to clock out at 5pm.
My sister and husband had a small business. Struggled for years and years on the breadline. Would have sunk many times without family helping out. Called it a dayl and got a call centre job working from home. Never been happier. Husband is a house husband and loving it.
Fame.
A golden cage I never wanted to get locked in. Glad I'm both too ugly and too untalented to ever get famous!
An open relationship.
this is a disaster. Do not do it. Source: me and a friend of mine who also tried it. Jealousy is real, and you are human, and you are not above jealousy.
Is mental illness one? I feel like everyone is self diagnosing using webmd as a checklist and now everyone is saying they have something but it’s nothing as debilitating as real mental illnesses.
When I was a kid I really wanted a cast or crutches. Yeah, really not a good idea.
I think the cast thing stems from seeing other classmates get tons of friends signing the cast. It's like visible confirmation that all those people like you. Maybe a little envy at the sympathy and extra special treatment they get too.
Living off grid. Boats. Livestock other than goats or chickens.
I don't mind living of the grid but I need the internet lol also chickens aren't so bad, just don't like let them loose, got to contain them and they're not bad.
A boat, so my dad was given this great job and he bought a boat. Everyone was so hyped. Now I occasionally host parties on it, my dad ocationally goes to swim and only uses the boat as a dock and that's about it, no one uses the boat and the parking spot and maintenance costs are not cheap.
To elect a non-politician to political office.
nah you must elect someone who is competent in the relevant area, e.g. an academic to the education ministry, an engineer to the public works ministry, etc.
A “crazy” gf. yeah it’s all fun and game until i’m messaging you in detail abt how i just hurt myself expecting you to not care. bpd and other “crazy” disorders aren’t cute. stop romanticizing it.
Who wants a crazy gf? Never heard this one. It's usually the opposite.
Hookups. On the 100th hookup, I assure you, your balls won't be the only thing empty. You'll realize that what you're really after is the warm embrace of someone to share intimacy with.
Hmm yes and no. Personally as someone who is totally ok with their own company I don't think this is true for everyone.
A private jet. unless you fly extremely frequently the cost of maintenance outweighs any pros.
Only billionaire I ever met just chartered jets whenever he needed one. Which was maybe once or twice a month.
The chance to meet a hero.
This is another yes and no one. It (a) depends on who your hero is, and (b) depends whether you strike them on a good day. There are some people who are apparently wholesome and amazing pretty much no matter what. So getting a chance to meet someone like that? Absolutely!
A nympho partner.
I read an interview with a genuine nymphomaniac and she was indeed having ridiculous amounts of sex. She was also completely miserable and her life was a disaster. Just because you're having sex that doesn't necessarily mean you're *enjoying* it. Plus it must be SO goddamn exhausting. And painful.
Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I thought having smaller boobs would make me happy, finally had a reduction & then I could see my stomach & then wanted it to be smaller. Never going to be happy with my body 🤪
We went to the zoo. I was 10? The gift shop had an adorable monkey doll in a cute little blue dress. The monkey could suck its thumb. I wanted it so badly. Our parents said we could get something five dollars or less. I got the monkey! Going home in the car, I got annoyed with the monkey. It just didn't seem as cute anymore. It ended up living in the bottom of the toy box. I could never remember why I wanted it so badly.
I remember when I couldn't wait until I had to start shaving. Turns out, I don't like doing it and often have stubble/five o'clock shadow because I put it off and don't do it daily.
In my 20s I was so sad cuz my friends had boyfriends, I was seriously so deflated thinking I would never have a boyfriend or get married. Now I'm 68 yrs old after 3 marriages and 1 son. When my 3rd husband died 2 years ago I was so relieved and adore living alone!
I thought having smaller boobs would make me happy, finally had a reduction & then I could see my stomach & then wanted it to be smaller. Never going to be happy with my body 🤪
We went to the zoo. I was 10? The gift shop had an adorable monkey doll in a cute little blue dress. The monkey could suck its thumb. I wanted it so badly. Our parents said we could get something five dollars or less. I got the monkey! Going home in the car, I got annoyed with the monkey. It just didn't seem as cute anymore. It ended up living in the bottom of the toy box. I could never remember why I wanted it so badly.
I remember when I couldn't wait until I had to start shaving. Turns out, I don't like doing it and often have stubble/five o'clock shadow because I put it off and don't do it daily.
In my 20s I was so sad cuz my friends had boyfriends, I was seriously so deflated thinking I would never have a boyfriend or get married. Now I'm 68 yrs old after 3 marriages and 1 son. When my 3rd husband died 2 years ago I was so relieved and adore living alone!
