“Not Celebrating A Girl’s First Period”: Woman Shares What She Finds Weird About The Western World
Every culture has their own unique traits, traditions and customs. Depending on where you are from, you might think it’s rude to loudly slurp your soup, use your left hand to point things out or gift someone an odd number of flowers. And while every country has their own way of doing things, there are certain customs that are more common in western cultures and others that are more popular in the east.
If you’ve only lived in one part of the world, as many of us have, you might not be familiar with the customs on the other half of the globe. But as someone who has lived in two very different places, one Twitter user recently started a conversation noting things people in western cultures often do that she finds bizarre. She then invited others to share customs they have observed in western countries, so we’ve gathered some of the most fascinating responses down below.
Let us know in the comments what cultural differences you have observed when visiting other parts of the globe, and then if you’re interested in another Bored Panda article noting fascinating cultural differences from all around the world, check out this story next.
One woman sparked a conversation on Twitter by listing some of the things she finds odd about western cultures
Now, we cannot blanket statement the entire world into two halves, assuming that all western countries are the same and all eastern countries are the same. Even one nation should not be viewed as a monolith. But the tweets featured on this list are simply observations that some individuals have made about cultural differences between where they are from and another place they have visited or lived in. So to help understand where these people are coming from, I consulted Ian Paul’s blog post on his website Psephizo, “Why is Western culture so WEIRD?”
Ian pulls quotes from anthropologist Joseph Henrich’s book The Weirdest People in the World: How the West Became Psychologically Peculiar and Particularly Prosperous and explains how many western ideals are incongruent with how humans historically behaved. “They tend to have certain features in common—an individualistic sense of identity and purpose, weak ties to extended family, a universal sense of morality with guilt as a means of social control, less obedience to elders and tradition, not marrying blood relatives, and more trusting of people outside your own family,” Ian explains.
Many other people then chimed in with the western quirks they have noticed
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In his book, Joseph Henrich describes the “weirdest people in the world” as WEIRD: Western, educated, industrialized, rich and democratic. He notes that these people tend to define themselves by how they view themselves personally, valuing their abilities and aspirations. Whereas a person from an Eastern culture might be more likely to describe themselves in reference to their social relationships. “I’m Sara’s mom” or “John’s father”.
Henrich explains in his book that there is not one way of describing ourselves that is superior, as the WEIRD way may be too individualistic but the alternative, valuing family and community first, might limit individuals and make them feel constrained in their society. Being a WEIRD person is not necessarily a bad thing, as it encourages prosocial behavior and breeds innovation, meritocracy, trust, representative government and even patience and restraint. Henrich cites examples of WEIRD individuals doing things to benefit the greater good, such as donating blood, agreeing not to park illegally, being willing to report their own family members to the police and more.
There is certainly a trade-off to accepting more western ideals. Traditionally, eastern cultures have greater respect for their elders and exhibit more hospitality. Being more involved in a community and less focused on individual needs means people have a greater safety net when they need help. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “it takes a village” before, right? Well, it used to take a village to raise children or run a household. And in some countries, it is seen as perfectly normal for an adult to live with their parents until they get married, even if they are approaching or past 30 years of age. In fact, one study found that 75% of adults in Hong Kong between the ages of 18-35 still live with their parents. This could be due to cultural customs or due to the fact that Hong Kong is one of the world’s most expensive cities, but regardless, these numbers would not be as common in a western nation.
Sometimes, eastern and western countries even have different views on things as simple as communication (or perhaps it’s not so simple). For example, in western cultures people are often expected to say exactly what they mean without having to read between the lines. They may sugarcoat the message a bit to seem more polite, but they don’t often leave much ambiguity or room for interpretation. The opposite is true in some eastern cultures, however. Countries like Japan and China are considered “high-context cultures”, meaning that indirect, non-verbal communication is extremely important. And being straightforward when speaking is often avoided, as to not “lose face”.
Hierarchy is typically viewed differently by people in the east and west as well. Western nations tend to be more egalitarian, promoting independence and individualism. On the other hand, eastern cultures tend to put an emphasis on social structures. Everyone is expected to respect the order of things, especially in the workplace. “A Western employer would like his or her employees to show initiative and show their own personal skills,” Absolute Internship explains on their site. “On the other hand, an Asian leader will focus on collective achievements and will expect his or her employees to respect the hierarchical structure of the company by being loyal to the company and working as a group.”
Punctuality is also valued to varying degrees depending on where you are in the world. It’s important to be on time regardless of where you are, but “on time” might mean something different to everyone. For example, if you’re working in Spain and your day starts at 9am, it might be no big deal to roll in at 9:25am. As long as you make all of your meetings and finish all of your tasks on time, there shouldn’t be any issues. In Japan, on the other hand, being punctual is extremely important. In fact, when trains are delayed, the railway staff will hand out ‘train delay certificates’ that workers can show to their employers if they end up being tardy.
We understand that many of the examples on this list are generalizations, so they may or may not apply to you, regardless of where you are from and where you currently live. But I know we have pandas from all over the world, so please be mindful of that and stay respectful in the comments. Then feel free to let us know down below what other cultural differences you have observed while visiting or living on the other side of the world.
Some people, on the other hand, explained why they disagreed with some of the points made
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Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.
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I don't know anyone who goes to bed in their day clothes are shoes on. Where did she even get that from? Also, neutring pets is EXTREMELY important. I will die on that hill. Celebrating a 1st period is super weird. Acknowledging it is fine, but is she talking about throwing a party or something? That seams creepy to me.
I think it's from TV where you see kids sitting on their beds with their normal clothes and shoes on.
Load More Replies...Exactly. At least in the US bare feet are considered somewhat disgusting which is why people on TV almost always wear shoes.
They are? Considered somewhat disgusting? Is it the thought of going around bare footed and getting dirty feet? Or just feet per se? I do know a couple of people who think 'ugh' to feet (I'm in the UK) but I don't really get why. They're just functional things! 🦶👣🦶 😲 A great place to wear decorative items... lovely shoes!👡👠👟
It's basically considered rude to be barefooted except with family or roommates. I think it's origin is simply due to hygienic issues and that some people have smelly feet.
I'm sorry that's the case for those, I was being flippant though as I don't really get why people find feet such a problem.
Only disgusting if you're in a store. At home, a pool, the beach, etc it isn't
Please spay and neuture. Don't celebrate a girls period. It's not fun. Some wedding in the USA go on all weekend. Most of us do take care of our elders as they age, all country's have nursing homes. Nothing new. Who actually cares who lays in their bed with "outside cloths on". That's nosy. Inside shoes? Yes we call them slippers. And most USA homes don't like you scuffing up or dirting their floors so shoes off! Kill spiders? Yes I will, most found in my house are poisonous, spray our yards? Yeah, thing called fire ants and I'm allergic to them. Good God, grow up, I'm a American and don't act like a shocked idiot that my najbor from India lives a little different that me. It's call "culture" and it's awesome.
Where I'm from, menstruation is considered as part of girls' rites of passage therefore most mothers would celebrate the moment. A girl's first blood signals that she has entered puberty and she's on her way to womanhood. Please don't call it as "super weird", it comes off as degrading one's heritage in my opinion. As for the celebration, it doesn't necessarily mean a big party. In my experience, my mom simply cooked meals for our family, meals that we normally eat for special occasions.
What is super weird is that such a big deal is made for girl becoming women. As if their biological ability to now bear children makes them worth more. And it happens at an age when most of them are in fact still children. That is mega creepy. Nobody celebrates boys entering puberty by announcing they found jizz on their bedsheets.
Agree to disagree~ In my country we also celebrate boys entering puberty which is marked by the time said boys tell their parents that they're ready for circumcision. We don't have to agree with other communities' cultural heritage but doesn't mean that we have to be a jerk about it just because it against our personal beliefs and we choose to be ignorant about it instead of making informed opinion.
I don't have a particular problem with marking the occasion for a girl, though they might well feel ill & not want fuss. Should be her choice. I don't think it's unfair to dislike the origins of certain traditions, we do know some stem from some pretty awful practices. Girls being married to adult men & having babies too young (many cultures). Girls are still being injured or killed this way today. A boy should be able to say no to circumcision if he wants to, if it's just a cultural or religious practice. If a child cannot say no to these things, if it would permanently harm their relationship with their family, that's hard to see as okay for many of us. We all have the right to our views & it doesn't make someone a jerk for disagreeing, or for finding something legitimately weird if that's how they feel. It started with western ideas that are weird to people. Nothing wrong with questioning why we do things today. Personal beliefs should not exclude individual choice.
It is weird, because traditionally the first time a girl bleeds marks the time when her parents can sell her to a husband.
I'm from the Netherlands, we don't do anything big here, but when my mum got her first period it was in the era that here was not much talk about it. She got some rags from her mom, and the explanation: here, use this, you'll need it every month. It was still very covered in shame, dirty. My mom decided to do it different with her daughters - after our first period she took us out shopping and got us a small golden ring we picked out. I love that idea. It acknowledges a major change in a girls life. It's not necessarily a celebration, but it marks an important point. There will be blood, cramps, more hormones, bleed throughs, and chances of pregnancies from that point on. (yes i know you can get pregnant before your first period).
Debbie, I like what your Mom did! Edit: I got a downvote. Geez people, Debbie's Mom wasn't going to sell her daughter to the highest bidder! Her mom created a ritual SEPARATE from that type of tradition! And can't we disagree without the downvotes that get people banned after ten votes? If you disagree, just TELL the person in a post!
I'm from the Netherlands too. My first menstruation wasn't really viewed as a milestone, it was not a big deal, because my mother had always spoken open and honest about it. I knew what to expect and what to do when I started bleeding. It wasn't like that in every family. I remember a friend seeing pads in our bathroom, and she asked what they were. We were eleven or so, and not menstruating yet, but I was surprised that she had no idea about it. I was able to explain it, although it felt a bit awkward. Some years later I helped that same friend when she had her first period during school. My mother had given me some pads to keep in my bag, and use or share them when it was necessary. Not long after this I had my own first period, and I was prepared well.
I think that's nice Debbie. In my family we all got a signet ring when we turned 13. I'd not have minded if that had been to mark that stage in life instead. It's something different. I get people's problem with why these celebrations exist, the idea that a girl was ready for marriage and babies at such a young age! Yet in many weddings women still have their father give away them away because of 'tradition'. What's the difference if we're against a practice linked to where the woman is the man's property and she was often too young? Other rituals may exist where we still celebrate or do something because of tradition but the real reason no longer exists in practice today. Cultures change and hopefully for the better.
I feel like if we celebrated menstruation, there would be far less stigma surrounding it. The US is SUPER misogynistic though.
It's creepy to you because in the Western world it's stigmatized. If you grew up in a culture in which it was not stigmatized, celebrating it would be fine. Why shouldn't you celebrate it? It's nothing to be ashamed of, contrary to what the west thinks.
I agree. Probably not a party but something - you could argue that other westernish subcultures do have their own coming of age celebration and that’s a good substitute (b’nei mitzvot for Jewish faith, quinceañera for Latin culture…). Many cultures do actually have a traditional celebration for when a girl gets her first period. I’m all for it
I think any coming of age celebration is a bit creepy when you consider how much young people are sexualized and virginity is fetishized. There's a "countdown clock" for child stars like Emma Watson and Millie Bobby Brown, and it's just like "woohoo, I can fantasize about them without being illegal now!" Having a period isn't shameful, but it's the energy surrounding someone's age that is creepy.
In my culture, we do celebrate a girl's first period, but it comes from some very messed up roots, when young girls were shipped off into an arranged marriage, usually with a man much older than her. The celebration itself is not creepy, but the origin kind of is, seeing as the origin of this celebration was to announce that the child is now a woman capable of making babies, and putting her on the 'market' for marriage.
I know, right. The amount of people who choose to be mean but ignorant is astounding. I thought Bored Panda community was more open to cultural diversity but this post shows that no, apparently it is not. Only the superior Western world's point of view that is accepted here.
The 'Western World' is made up of a lot of different countries and cultures and doesn't have one point of view.
Thats a wee bit intolerant isn't it? Not understanding something and then calling it creepy? Seems a lot of people agree with you though. Which I am not sure how to feel about. But different strokes, different folks I guess.
Eh. I will, if I'm particularly exhausted, but also I wear day clothes that are just as comfortable, if not more than my night clothes. That is, if I wear clothes at all to bed LOL
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I agree fixing pets is good to avoid abandoned baby animals, but it's often pushed as a population control agenda. Say every dog and cat was spayed and neutered. Every one of them. Eventually all dogs and cats would be extinct, or if it's just in North America, people would be having to export them.
As far as cats go, there will always be unfixed strays, so there is no danger of the common housecat going extinct. Nonetheless, we should try to keep the population down.
I love cats. I adopted a young cat, unfit to co-cat with another one, last year while I was looking for an elderly cat who needs a loving home for the 1...3 years left, as these often aren't adopted, but left to remain in the shelter (every shelter here is no kill - it's the law, because our culture is so damned weird or something). I'd NEVER go to someone breeding cats and order one, or otherwise contribute to the enlargement of their population, because there already are more cats alive than cats in loving homes, there is literally no reason to breed ANY animal, for that matter...). First period celebrations? Uh, don't know ... why? Would anyone actually being in that place want one? Sounds a bit creepy to me, as it may also indicate that "now that you're a woman and not a girl anymore, you're fair game!", which I wouldn't like to get to know about myself, you know ...
Neutering them means only professionals breed them, they won't go extinct. It's about taking your responsibility and preventing strays.
I very reluctantly upvoted BadCat (oh the irony of their user name) because I don't want to see them banned but I agree that pets that can get in contact with the opposite sex should be neutered unless you deliberately want to breed.
MoMcB, I agree with you. But I am not aware of any report button on the website. Maybe they have one in the app but I don't use the app. I just try to downvote sparingly.
Mary - if you are on the website, on the right hand side (as least this is what I see) you have About Us, Contact, Jobs etc. Under Contact is the report function.
Thank you, Liam. It isn't on the page that I have bookmarked for this site, though. It must be on another page which is what confused me.
Unfortunately they were already banned from all the downvoting. I too upvote to try and prevent it despite not agreeing with it. This place is not user-friendly
It's important to control the population of animals we introduce into an area, or they can become invasive. I am Latin American, which is a Western Culture, but we have strays running around everywhere. They are big problems, the dogs are known to attack people, spread rabies, poop is everywhere and contaminates rainwater drainage. Cats aren't as common, but I'm sure they kill a lot of birds. Probably lots of rats too though.
That's just dumb. We are well aware that not every single pet is going to be spayed or neutered. It is important for population control of feral cats. Also, a pet remaining intact skyrockets the chances of cancer.
Ah, no. Sorry to jump in here, but the cancer-myth has been debunked already. Obviously chances for testicle cancer and ovarian cancer drastically reduce when you remove testicles and ovaries, but other types of aggressive canxer have not significamtly higher risks in unneuteres animals. In fact Castration enhances risks for. Bone-cancer and significantly for spleen tumors. That does not mean that neutering is wrong in general! But it does mean that leaving pets intact (amd keeping them from reproducing anyway) is dangerous to the animal. Imagine-humans do NOT have higher risks for cancer when they keep their reproductive organs. Why would it for other animals?
https://www.dogcancerblog.com/articles/cancer-causes/spayneuter-and-the-association-with-cancer-in-dogs-part-one/ just leaving this here for backing up my words.
genuine question, why celebrate a girls first period. When i got my first one i was in pain and defo not in the mood to have a celebration for many years of more pain and blood
Yeah, no.. I'm all for being honest and up front about bodily processes but, at 13 I really didn't need my whole family knowing I'd started my period.
Load More Replies...You didn't need your whole family knowing because it's stigmatized in the West. The whole point of celebrating it is to not stigmatize it. Personally I would not want to be ashamed of it.
You can have a middle point - not stigmatized but just seen as a normal stage of development. Not celebrated for the same reason. I've not met anyone who is ashamed. There may have been a few small moments of embarrassment, but not shame. I'm at the other end and going through menopause, haven't met anyone ashamed of that either. Just another day and another aspect of womanhood. The whole 'west' doesn't stigmatize it. I think there may be a country or two within the west that are less easy and culturally seem more embarrassed by bodily functions but that's not the same thing as shame and definitely not all.
To me, and I'm saying this without any idea of the history or cultural significance of it, or even what this celebration looks like, it feels like an antiquated celebration based less on you're a woman now and more a way to advertise your daughter is now able to reproduce.
It's very odd, my husband is "Asian" doesent matter what country, but when his niece got her first period (they live now in the US) they called everone, all the relatives, male and female and then allof them called her and were giving her advice and comments and so on on the phone, she is 11... imagine at 11 your grand uncle 70y old calling you and literary talking about your vagina and mestruation with you. I was just like hell no, let her mom/dad/sibilings have the talk, close family, thats enough... Im sure soon all the aunties will shart offering their sons to her
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That's the point! You think it's weird for men to talk about periods to their relatives bc it's stigmatized in the West! That's the point of the period celebration, to not stigmatize it. The shame associated with it in the West is why men here don't even buy pads or tampons for their wives or daughters. It's shameful that the West inherently sexualizes talking about periods, then calls the rest of the world backwards. Periods are natural dude..
Would you like a broom to help you with those sweeping generalisations? The whole of the west? I see men in supermarkets buying sanitary products all the time. Men are single parents, have wives who are curled up with a hot water bottle and in sudden need. Why would they not be out shopping? 'Inherently sexualises talking about periods' - I'm not sure what that even means quite frankly. My father was uneasy so we left him out the discussions but men of my generation and younger aren't fazed, why would they be? The west is vast, be careful with those assumptions as they won't be true for all of it.
That isn't what Karmen said Maria, she felt it was weird for more distant relatives to weigh in such as a 70 year old grand uncle. Karmen was fine with dad and siblings, which might include brothers. I agree with her but that would include any great aunts and more distant female relatives, not just the men. Unless I had no-one else to talk to, if I had a close relationship with my great aunt, I don't see any extra value with them getting involved. Not sure why anyone would be discussing her vagina mind... that's a bit odd surely? Periods ARE natural, not something shameful and I'm not aware that they are stigmatised in the part of the west I live in.
I don't think that is the intent though. So let's not assume and spread that as being true.
Beth, I can't speak for every culture but it is common in many cultures to see the first period as evidence that she is ready to marry. In many parts of the world child marriage is still the norm, and often forced as well. So that is why people have a bad connotation with the idea of celebrating the first period. However the West goes to the other extreme by treating it as something to be ashamed of and hidden.
Nevermind Beth. I completely understood where you were coming from and it is alarming that so many comments here don't yet at the same time still feel compelled to educate others in some way based on pure assumption.
I was too embarrassed. I didn't even want my mom to know. Ended up getting in trouble come laundry time. Still ended up getting in trouble and expected to wear a panty liner at all times just in case.
Sorry BadCat, that's sad. It shouldn't be something you felt embarrassed about or frightened to share with your mom. You definitely shouldn't have been in trouble over any mishaps with laundry! Though, I also don't think it's something to especially celebrate either. It's just a mundane physical reality that you then have to put up with for x number of years and will soon be an absolute annoyance unless you go on the pill and don't bother with the period aspect (or what they call withdrawal bleeding, which isn't necessary).
I was wondering this too.. when I had my first period my mom was all like oeh ah you are woman now yes! I was like shut the f*ck up. It was embarrassing enough, let alone a whole party. It's something normal. Nothing to have a taboo or a party about it.
This is embedded with other deep cultural differences. Our, Western Culture, places shame on bodily processes, especially if they are women's bodies. I'm not saying we should throw a party, but the number of women saying they were embarrassed here, should demonstrate that something is wrong with our culture.
Yes. Not saying I'd have wanted a party with red balloons, but it would have been nicer not to have been obliged to hide it
Boy, do I agree! My mom reacted to my first period as though I had committed a crime. She could barely look at me, and stormed off to get me supplies... which se then threw at me. Oh, and I had ruined my family's vacation, particularly my younger brother's (because he was so "innocent.") After that, I was on my own. I was 12 years old, and it took me years to deal with the shame
Our 'western culture' is made up of quite a few different variants of that culture though. They're not homogenised. So it makes me wonder if this a certain part of the west? It's not my experience. I didn't have to hide it, my family were quite matter of fact and my friends and I share discussions all the time about periods and life as a woman. No we didn't throw a party but I was chuffed to finally have my periods. I was a little later than many in my class - and that says something that I knew that! We were all talking about it without any stigma or shame. The only one who wanted out of the chat was my dad but he was a much older father, and I see men buying pads or tampons for girls regularly. I think we need to take care that our own experience doesn't colour what we think is the norm (and yes I include myself in that) it is often is the case with culture. Also be careful that we don't swallow what we see on TV as being the way for all in the west.
Yup. My parents actually did take me out for a nice dinner at a restaurant to celebrate, and I'm glad they did. I intend to do the same for my daughter when she's old enough - not a big huge party or anything, but at least to do something nice for her to mark the occasion. There's nothing shameful about periods; it's a normal bodily function. The transition from childhood to adolescence is a big thing for a child, and should not be accompanied by a sense of shame or forced into silence.
As I said above - getting your period is still something covered in shame. It shouldn't be. No I don't promote throwing a big party, but my mom got us a golden ring, to acknowledge the change we are going through. It is a big change that should not be sweeped under the rug and pretend it is nothing.
I agree it absolutely should not be anything shameful. It's just a stage in development. I don't quite get the concept that it's something to celebrate or make special either to be honest. If your mom had done nothing and treated it like a normal, everyday event you probably wouldn't either - just as if my mum had bought me a ring I'd have thought that was fine. That's just our own experiences which colour what we think is the norm.
We have other (religious) rituals for coming of age, though. In my country it is a Christian confirmation when you are 13/14 for both boys and girls.
Greta, in many Western cultures we have become secular or else there is no tradition of confirmation in the particular church we were raised in. There wasn't in mine. But I kind of considered getting my first bra as my coming of age ritual.
Quite frankly, I celebrated when my periods stopped. Sweet freedom!
My mum got me a chocolate bar as long as my arm and gave me paracetamol and brufen to celebrate lmao
I'd have said that a massive bar of chocolate and painkillers were perfect! Oh, thinking about it I'd add a fluffy covered hot-water bottle and the latest best-seller to make it top notch!
It's celebrated as an entry to womanhood. Also It's not celebrated everywhere.
Womanhood to do what though? It always seems to mean they can now move on to eventual marriage and breeding. That’s not celebrating her ability to make her own path.
The other day I was having the same discussion with someone and we both agreed that the celebration is of the fact that she can now get pregnant. And no it's not celebrating her growth in any other way.
And that's the difference between collectivist and individualistic cultures. It is absolutely true that in collectivist cultures the advent of "womanhood" comes with a whole bunch of societal expectations that we in the West would find abhorrent.
Would be 16 in my country Lara! Shows that not just culture but laws are different. The 'west' is huge and varies quite a lot. I'm not getting the 'shame' that people keep talking about, though that's obviously my own experience with the people I've met in life. I've only found very open people or some who were embarrassed, which isn't the same as shame. Though I would say that there has been some regression recently, not helped with more countries ending up with right-leaning Governments which have traditionally more (small c) conservative views. Less progressive.
I was humiliated in my 11th Summer. Mom went into the store for me when I first started and my brother told my cousin, "She's going to buy Cutex." I said, "It's Kotex, idiot!" But still could have disappeared from embarrassment. Unfortunately, in the US, it's just more ammo for the sibling rivalry.
Are these really based on the western world or just the US? Also a lot of them seem inspired by tv and movies rather than based on how people actually live like.
I was also feeling this seems mostly about the US. I guess you could talk about western culture vs eastern, but then these points could not be so specific. Also, most of these ideas come from misunderstanding the backgrounds and details of these cultural differences. (eastern and western)
Load More Replies...Karen, the Western world, also known as the West, refers to various regions, nations and states, depending on the context, most often consisting of the majority of Europe, North America, and Oceania. The Western world is also known as the Occident, in contrast to the Orient or Eastern world. Wikipedia
The OP is living in Australia, but I'd say she's really basing this on Anglo culture. The kicking kids out at 18, or making 18 an important age is really an Anglo thing. And while it may be that not everybody does this, it is common. I hear my coworkers constantly say things like, "I can't wait until my kids are 18, and out of the house". I am from a Western Culture, and we don't do that. It's common for children to stay home until they marry. Often well into their 30s. Nobody in my home would see a 32-year-old man living with his mother as a failure. I moved out though when I was 20, but I moved to another continent for work.
I'm Australian and I don't know anyone who was kicked out at 18. Australian kids are always in a rush to go and be independent and usually leave home when they are 18. Parents might say they "cant wait" but usually they don't really mean it and they would never "kick the kids out".
I do! She came home to find her belongings packed on the front doorstep with a note saying 'to whom it may concern x no longer lives here'! Though that certainly wouldn't make me assume anything about the country - just about the relationship she had with her parents!
TV and movies can definitely give a wrong impression. Literally no one wears shoes to bed, for example. But at least in the US, bare feet are considered slightly disgusting so you will see people on TV wearing shoes most of the time.
The OP says she lives in Australia. At least one of the replies was from someone living in New Zealand.
No, the OP's comments were all about how Australia is different from her home country.
I find it dee0ly troubling that someone in Australia, of all places, doesn't see a need to fix stray animals. That's very, very, very, VERY concerning. You know, with stray pets ruining mos of the local wildlife already.
Yep I never met a single person in Europe that tought Africa is a country...
Karmen, unfortunately the idea that Africa is one country is a common misconception in the United States because our educational system does not teach us about other parts of the world.
Yeah, but I think the point still stands. You had to wait all the way till high school to learn that a whole continent was not actually a country? And I'm not blaming you! I live in the US as well, just had a good education
Some aren't just US. The lady said she was in Australia anyway, so that's where her comparisons stem from but there are some in there I can see do happen in my own country in Europe. A lot might not be recognisable to people in some countries but let's not assume that means US.
I agree, it's very US/movie trope based, and rather clichéd. "Western culture" isn't uniform, there's differences between social, familial and work practices in countries even when they are geographically close.
This is definitely true, it is not valid to paint with such a large brush. Americans are very different from French, who are different from Brazilians, who share few cultural similarities to Serbians. Just as Asian and African cultures compose a vary wide and diverse set of norms, so do ours.
Yeah, I'd say the idea of boots in bed comes from a few old cowboy movies.
She isn't targeting the US though - there are some comments which do but the OP is in Australia and is commenting on what they find weird THERE compared to where she is from. Some of the others commenting are clearly from other places, a few mention the US and are specific but many could easily apply to other countries.
I don't know anyone who goes to bed in their day clothes are shoes on. Where did she even get that from? Also, neutring pets is EXTREMELY important. I will die on that hill. Celebrating a 1st period is super weird. Acknowledging it is fine, but is she talking about throwing a party or something? That seams creepy to me.
I think it's from TV where you see kids sitting on their beds with their normal clothes and shoes on.
Load More Replies...Exactly. At least in the US bare feet are considered somewhat disgusting which is why people on TV almost always wear shoes.
They are? Considered somewhat disgusting? Is it the thought of going around bare footed and getting dirty feet? Or just feet per se? I do know a couple of people who think 'ugh' to feet (I'm in the UK) but I don't really get why. They're just functional things! 🦶👣🦶 😲 A great place to wear decorative items... lovely shoes!👡👠👟
It's basically considered rude to be barefooted except with family or roommates. I think it's origin is simply due to hygienic issues and that some people have smelly feet.
I'm sorry that's the case for those, I was being flippant though as I don't really get why people find feet such a problem.
Only disgusting if you're in a store. At home, a pool, the beach, etc it isn't
Please spay and neuture. Don't celebrate a girls period. It's not fun. Some wedding in the USA go on all weekend. Most of us do take care of our elders as they age, all country's have nursing homes. Nothing new. Who actually cares who lays in their bed with "outside cloths on". That's nosy. Inside shoes? Yes we call them slippers. And most USA homes don't like you scuffing up or dirting their floors so shoes off! Kill spiders? Yes I will, most found in my house are poisonous, spray our yards? Yeah, thing called fire ants and I'm allergic to them. Good God, grow up, I'm a American and don't act like a shocked idiot that my najbor from India lives a little different that me. It's call "culture" and it's awesome.
Where I'm from, menstruation is considered as part of girls' rites of passage therefore most mothers would celebrate the moment. A girl's first blood signals that she has entered puberty and she's on her way to womanhood. Please don't call it as "super weird", it comes off as degrading one's heritage in my opinion. As for the celebration, it doesn't necessarily mean a big party. In my experience, my mom simply cooked meals for our family, meals that we normally eat for special occasions.
What is super weird is that such a big deal is made for girl becoming women. As if their biological ability to now bear children makes them worth more. And it happens at an age when most of them are in fact still children. That is mega creepy. Nobody celebrates boys entering puberty by announcing they found jizz on their bedsheets.
Agree to disagree~ In my country we also celebrate boys entering puberty which is marked by the time said boys tell their parents that they're ready for circumcision. We don't have to agree with other communities' cultural heritage but doesn't mean that we have to be a jerk about it just because it against our personal beliefs and we choose to be ignorant about it instead of making informed opinion.
I don't have a particular problem with marking the occasion for a girl, though they might well feel ill & not want fuss. Should be her choice. I don't think it's unfair to dislike the origins of certain traditions, we do know some stem from some pretty awful practices. Girls being married to adult men & having babies too young (many cultures). Girls are still being injured or killed this way today. A boy should be able to say no to circumcision if he wants to, if it's just a cultural or religious practice. If a child cannot say no to these things, if it would permanently harm their relationship with their family, that's hard to see as okay for many of us. We all have the right to our views & it doesn't make someone a jerk for disagreeing, or for finding something legitimately weird if that's how they feel. It started with western ideas that are weird to people. Nothing wrong with questioning why we do things today. Personal beliefs should not exclude individual choice.
It is weird, because traditionally the first time a girl bleeds marks the time when her parents can sell her to a husband.
I'm from the Netherlands, we don't do anything big here, but when my mum got her first period it was in the era that here was not much talk about it. She got some rags from her mom, and the explanation: here, use this, you'll need it every month. It was still very covered in shame, dirty. My mom decided to do it different with her daughters - after our first period she took us out shopping and got us a small golden ring we picked out. I love that idea. It acknowledges a major change in a girls life. It's not necessarily a celebration, but it marks an important point. There will be blood, cramps, more hormones, bleed throughs, and chances of pregnancies from that point on. (yes i know you can get pregnant before your first period).
Debbie, I like what your Mom did! Edit: I got a downvote. Geez people, Debbie's Mom wasn't going to sell her daughter to the highest bidder! Her mom created a ritual SEPARATE from that type of tradition! And can't we disagree without the downvotes that get people banned after ten votes? If you disagree, just TELL the person in a post!
I'm from the Netherlands too. My first menstruation wasn't really viewed as a milestone, it was not a big deal, because my mother had always spoken open and honest about it. I knew what to expect and what to do when I started bleeding. It wasn't like that in every family. I remember a friend seeing pads in our bathroom, and she asked what they were. We were eleven or so, and not menstruating yet, but I was surprised that she had no idea about it. I was able to explain it, although it felt a bit awkward. Some years later I helped that same friend when she had her first period during school. My mother had given me some pads to keep in my bag, and use or share them when it was necessary. Not long after this I had my own first period, and I was prepared well.
I think that's nice Debbie. In my family we all got a signet ring when we turned 13. I'd not have minded if that had been to mark that stage in life instead. It's something different. I get people's problem with why these celebrations exist, the idea that a girl was ready for marriage and babies at such a young age! Yet in many weddings women still have their father give away them away because of 'tradition'. What's the difference if we're against a practice linked to where the woman is the man's property and she was often too young? Other rituals may exist where we still celebrate or do something because of tradition but the real reason no longer exists in practice today. Cultures change and hopefully for the better.
I feel like if we celebrated menstruation, there would be far less stigma surrounding it. The US is SUPER misogynistic though.
It's creepy to you because in the Western world it's stigmatized. If you grew up in a culture in which it was not stigmatized, celebrating it would be fine. Why shouldn't you celebrate it? It's nothing to be ashamed of, contrary to what the west thinks.
I agree. Probably not a party but something - you could argue that other westernish subcultures do have their own coming of age celebration and that’s a good substitute (b’nei mitzvot for Jewish faith, quinceañera for Latin culture…). Many cultures do actually have a traditional celebration for when a girl gets her first period. I’m all for it
I think any coming of age celebration is a bit creepy when you consider how much young people are sexualized and virginity is fetishized. There's a "countdown clock" for child stars like Emma Watson and Millie Bobby Brown, and it's just like "woohoo, I can fantasize about them without being illegal now!" Having a period isn't shameful, but it's the energy surrounding someone's age that is creepy.
In my culture, we do celebrate a girl's first period, but it comes from some very messed up roots, when young girls were shipped off into an arranged marriage, usually with a man much older than her. The celebration itself is not creepy, but the origin kind of is, seeing as the origin of this celebration was to announce that the child is now a woman capable of making babies, and putting her on the 'market' for marriage.
I know, right. The amount of people who choose to be mean but ignorant is astounding. I thought Bored Panda community was more open to cultural diversity but this post shows that no, apparently it is not. Only the superior Western world's point of view that is accepted here.
The 'Western World' is made up of a lot of different countries and cultures and doesn't have one point of view.
Thats a wee bit intolerant isn't it? Not understanding something and then calling it creepy? Seems a lot of people agree with you though. Which I am not sure how to feel about. But different strokes, different folks I guess.
Eh. I will, if I'm particularly exhausted, but also I wear day clothes that are just as comfortable, if not more than my night clothes. That is, if I wear clothes at all to bed LOL
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I agree fixing pets is good to avoid abandoned baby animals, but it's often pushed as a population control agenda. Say every dog and cat was spayed and neutered. Every one of them. Eventually all dogs and cats would be extinct, or if it's just in North America, people would be having to export them.
As far as cats go, there will always be unfixed strays, so there is no danger of the common housecat going extinct. Nonetheless, we should try to keep the population down.
I love cats. I adopted a young cat, unfit to co-cat with another one, last year while I was looking for an elderly cat who needs a loving home for the 1...3 years left, as these often aren't adopted, but left to remain in the shelter (every shelter here is no kill - it's the law, because our culture is so damned weird or something). I'd NEVER go to someone breeding cats and order one, or otherwise contribute to the enlargement of their population, because there already are more cats alive than cats in loving homes, there is literally no reason to breed ANY animal, for that matter...). First period celebrations? Uh, don't know ... why? Would anyone actually being in that place want one? Sounds a bit creepy to me, as it may also indicate that "now that you're a woman and not a girl anymore, you're fair game!", which I wouldn't like to get to know about myself, you know ...
Neutering them means only professionals breed them, they won't go extinct. It's about taking your responsibility and preventing strays.
I very reluctantly upvoted BadCat (oh the irony of their user name) because I don't want to see them banned but I agree that pets that can get in contact with the opposite sex should be neutered unless you deliberately want to breed.
MoMcB, I agree with you. But I am not aware of any report button on the website. Maybe they have one in the app but I don't use the app. I just try to downvote sparingly.
Mary - if you are on the website, on the right hand side (as least this is what I see) you have About Us, Contact, Jobs etc. Under Contact is the report function.
Thank you, Liam. It isn't on the page that I have bookmarked for this site, though. It must be on another page which is what confused me.
Unfortunately they were already banned from all the downvoting. I too upvote to try and prevent it despite not agreeing with it. This place is not user-friendly
It's important to control the population of animals we introduce into an area, or they can become invasive. I am Latin American, which is a Western Culture, but we have strays running around everywhere. They are big problems, the dogs are known to attack people, spread rabies, poop is everywhere and contaminates rainwater drainage. Cats aren't as common, but I'm sure they kill a lot of birds. Probably lots of rats too though.
That's just dumb. We are well aware that not every single pet is going to be spayed or neutered. It is important for population control of feral cats. Also, a pet remaining intact skyrockets the chances of cancer.
Ah, no. Sorry to jump in here, but the cancer-myth has been debunked already. Obviously chances for testicle cancer and ovarian cancer drastically reduce when you remove testicles and ovaries, but other types of aggressive canxer have not significamtly higher risks in unneuteres animals. In fact Castration enhances risks for. Bone-cancer and significantly for spleen tumors. That does not mean that neutering is wrong in general! But it does mean that leaving pets intact (amd keeping them from reproducing anyway) is dangerous to the animal. Imagine-humans do NOT have higher risks for cancer when they keep their reproductive organs. Why would it for other animals?
https://www.dogcancerblog.com/articles/cancer-causes/spayneuter-and-the-association-with-cancer-in-dogs-part-one/ just leaving this here for backing up my words.
genuine question, why celebrate a girls first period. When i got my first one i was in pain and defo not in the mood to have a celebration for many years of more pain and blood
Yeah, no.. I'm all for being honest and up front about bodily processes but, at 13 I really didn't need my whole family knowing I'd started my period.
Load More Replies...You didn't need your whole family knowing because it's stigmatized in the West. The whole point of celebrating it is to not stigmatize it. Personally I would not want to be ashamed of it.
You can have a middle point - not stigmatized but just seen as a normal stage of development. Not celebrated for the same reason. I've not met anyone who is ashamed. There may have been a few small moments of embarrassment, but not shame. I'm at the other end and going through menopause, haven't met anyone ashamed of that either. Just another day and another aspect of womanhood. The whole 'west' doesn't stigmatize it. I think there may be a country or two within the west that are less easy and culturally seem more embarrassed by bodily functions but that's not the same thing as shame and definitely not all.
To me, and I'm saying this without any idea of the history or cultural significance of it, or even what this celebration looks like, it feels like an antiquated celebration based less on you're a woman now and more a way to advertise your daughter is now able to reproduce.
It's very odd, my husband is "Asian" doesent matter what country, but when his niece got her first period (they live now in the US) they called everone, all the relatives, male and female and then allof them called her and were giving her advice and comments and so on on the phone, she is 11... imagine at 11 your grand uncle 70y old calling you and literary talking about your vagina and mestruation with you. I was just like hell no, let her mom/dad/sibilings have the talk, close family, thats enough... Im sure soon all the aunties will shart offering their sons to her
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That's the point! You think it's weird for men to talk about periods to their relatives bc it's stigmatized in the West! That's the point of the period celebration, to not stigmatize it. The shame associated with it in the West is why men here don't even buy pads or tampons for their wives or daughters. It's shameful that the West inherently sexualizes talking about periods, then calls the rest of the world backwards. Periods are natural dude..
Would you like a broom to help you with those sweeping generalisations? The whole of the west? I see men in supermarkets buying sanitary products all the time. Men are single parents, have wives who are curled up with a hot water bottle and in sudden need. Why would they not be out shopping? 'Inherently sexualises talking about periods' - I'm not sure what that even means quite frankly. My father was uneasy so we left him out the discussions but men of my generation and younger aren't fazed, why would they be? The west is vast, be careful with those assumptions as they won't be true for all of it.
That isn't what Karmen said Maria, she felt it was weird for more distant relatives to weigh in such as a 70 year old grand uncle. Karmen was fine with dad and siblings, which might include brothers. I agree with her but that would include any great aunts and more distant female relatives, not just the men. Unless I had no-one else to talk to, if I had a close relationship with my great aunt, I don't see any extra value with them getting involved. Not sure why anyone would be discussing her vagina mind... that's a bit odd surely? Periods ARE natural, not something shameful and I'm not aware that they are stigmatised in the part of the west I live in.
I don't think that is the intent though. So let's not assume and spread that as being true.
Beth, I can't speak for every culture but it is common in many cultures to see the first period as evidence that she is ready to marry. In many parts of the world child marriage is still the norm, and often forced as well. So that is why people have a bad connotation with the idea of celebrating the first period. However the West goes to the other extreme by treating it as something to be ashamed of and hidden.
Nevermind Beth. I completely understood where you were coming from and it is alarming that so many comments here don't yet at the same time still feel compelled to educate others in some way based on pure assumption.
I was too embarrassed. I didn't even want my mom to know. Ended up getting in trouble come laundry time. Still ended up getting in trouble and expected to wear a panty liner at all times just in case.
Sorry BadCat, that's sad. It shouldn't be something you felt embarrassed about or frightened to share with your mom. You definitely shouldn't have been in trouble over any mishaps with laundry! Though, I also don't think it's something to especially celebrate either. It's just a mundane physical reality that you then have to put up with for x number of years and will soon be an absolute annoyance unless you go on the pill and don't bother with the period aspect (or what they call withdrawal bleeding, which isn't necessary).
I was wondering this too.. when I had my first period my mom was all like oeh ah you are woman now yes! I was like shut the f*ck up. It was embarrassing enough, let alone a whole party. It's something normal. Nothing to have a taboo or a party about it.
This is embedded with other deep cultural differences. Our, Western Culture, places shame on bodily processes, especially if they are women's bodies. I'm not saying we should throw a party, but the number of women saying they were embarrassed here, should demonstrate that something is wrong with our culture.
Yes. Not saying I'd have wanted a party with red balloons, but it would have been nicer not to have been obliged to hide it
Boy, do I agree! My mom reacted to my first period as though I had committed a crime. She could barely look at me, and stormed off to get me supplies... which se then threw at me. Oh, and I had ruined my family's vacation, particularly my younger brother's (because he was so "innocent.") After that, I was on my own. I was 12 years old, and it took me years to deal with the shame
Our 'western culture' is made up of quite a few different variants of that culture though. They're not homogenised. So it makes me wonder if this a certain part of the west? It's not my experience. I didn't have to hide it, my family were quite matter of fact and my friends and I share discussions all the time about periods and life as a woman. No we didn't throw a party but I was chuffed to finally have my periods. I was a little later than many in my class - and that says something that I knew that! We were all talking about it without any stigma or shame. The only one who wanted out of the chat was my dad but he was a much older father, and I see men buying pads or tampons for girls regularly. I think we need to take care that our own experience doesn't colour what we think is the norm (and yes I include myself in that) it is often is the case with culture. Also be careful that we don't swallow what we see on TV as being the way for all in the west.
Yup. My parents actually did take me out for a nice dinner at a restaurant to celebrate, and I'm glad they did. I intend to do the same for my daughter when she's old enough - not a big huge party or anything, but at least to do something nice for her to mark the occasion. There's nothing shameful about periods; it's a normal bodily function. The transition from childhood to adolescence is a big thing for a child, and should not be accompanied by a sense of shame or forced into silence.
As I said above - getting your period is still something covered in shame. It shouldn't be. No I don't promote throwing a big party, but my mom got us a golden ring, to acknowledge the change we are going through. It is a big change that should not be sweeped under the rug and pretend it is nothing.
I agree it absolutely should not be anything shameful. It's just a stage in development. I don't quite get the concept that it's something to celebrate or make special either to be honest. If your mom had done nothing and treated it like a normal, everyday event you probably wouldn't either - just as if my mum had bought me a ring I'd have thought that was fine. That's just our own experiences which colour what we think is the norm.
We have other (religious) rituals for coming of age, though. In my country it is a Christian confirmation when you are 13/14 for both boys and girls.
Greta, in many Western cultures we have become secular or else there is no tradition of confirmation in the particular church we were raised in. There wasn't in mine. But I kind of considered getting my first bra as my coming of age ritual.
Quite frankly, I celebrated when my periods stopped. Sweet freedom!
My mum got me a chocolate bar as long as my arm and gave me paracetamol and brufen to celebrate lmao
I'd have said that a massive bar of chocolate and painkillers were perfect! Oh, thinking about it I'd add a fluffy covered hot-water bottle and the latest best-seller to make it top notch!
It's celebrated as an entry to womanhood. Also It's not celebrated everywhere.
Womanhood to do what though? It always seems to mean they can now move on to eventual marriage and breeding. That’s not celebrating her ability to make her own path.
The other day I was having the same discussion with someone and we both agreed that the celebration is of the fact that she can now get pregnant. And no it's not celebrating her growth in any other way.
And that's the difference between collectivist and individualistic cultures. It is absolutely true that in collectivist cultures the advent of "womanhood" comes with a whole bunch of societal expectations that we in the West would find abhorrent.
Would be 16 in my country Lara! Shows that not just culture but laws are different. The 'west' is huge and varies quite a lot. I'm not getting the 'shame' that people keep talking about, though that's obviously my own experience with the people I've met in life. I've only found very open people or some who were embarrassed, which isn't the same as shame. Though I would say that there has been some regression recently, not helped with more countries ending up with right-leaning Governments which have traditionally more (small c) conservative views. Less progressive.
I was humiliated in my 11th Summer. Mom went into the store for me when I first started and my brother told my cousin, "She's going to buy Cutex." I said, "It's Kotex, idiot!" But still could have disappeared from embarrassment. Unfortunately, in the US, it's just more ammo for the sibling rivalry.
Are these really based on the western world or just the US? Also a lot of them seem inspired by tv and movies rather than based on how people actually live like.
I was also feeling this seems mostly about the US. I guess you could talk about western culture vs eastern, but then these points could not be so specific. Also, most of these ideas come from misunderstanding the backgrounds and details of these cultural differences. (eastern and western)
Load More Replies...Karen, the Western world, also known as the West, refers to various regions, nations and states, depending on the context, most often consisting of the majority of Europe, North America, and Oceania. The Western world is also known as the Occident, in contrast to the Orient or Eastern world. Wikipedia
The OP is living in Australia, but I'd say she's really basing this on Anglo culture. The kicking kids out at 18, or making 18 an important age is really an Anglo thing. And while it may be that not everybody does this, it is common. I hear my coworkers constantly say things like, "I can't wait until my kids are 18, and out of the house". I am from a Western Culture, and we don't do that. It's common for children to stay home until they marry. Often well into their 30s. Nobody in my home would see a 32-year-old man living with his mother as a failure. I moved out though when I was 20, but I moved to another continent for work.
I'm Australian and I don't know anyone who was kicked out at 18. Australian kids are always in a rush to go and be independent and usually leave home when they are 18. Parents might say they "cant wait" but usually they don't really mean it and they would never "kick the kids out".
I do! She came home to find her belongings packed on the front doorstep with a note saying 'to whom it may concern x no longer lives here'! Though that certainly wouldn't make me assume anything about the country - just about the relationship she had with her parents!
TV and movies can definitely give a wrong impression. Literally no one wears shoes to bed, for example. But at least in the US, bare feet are considered slightly disgusting so you will see people on TV wearing shoes most of the time.
The OP says she lives in Australia. At least one of the replies was from someone living in New Zealand.
No, the OP's comments were all about how Australia is different from her home country.
I find it dee0ly troubling that someone in Australia, of all places, doesn't see a need to fix stray animals. That's very, very, very, VERY concerning. You know, with stray pets ruining mos of the local wildlife already.
Yep I never met a single person in Europe that tought Africa is a country...
Karmen, unfortunately the idea that Africa is one country is a common misconception in the United States because our educational system does not teach us about other parts of the world.
Yeah, but I think the point still stands. You had to wait all the way till high school to learn that a whole continent was not actually a country? And I'm not blaming you! I live in the US as well, just had a good education
Some aren't just US. The lady said she was in Australia anyway, so that's where her comparisons stem from but there are some in there I can see do happen in my own country in Europe. A lot might not be recognisable to people in some countries but let's not assume that means US.
I agree, it's very US/movie trope based, and rather clichéd. "Western culture" isn't uniform, there's differences between social, familial and work practices in countries even when they are geographically close.
This is definitely true, it is not valid to paint with such a large brush. Americans are very different from French, who are different from Brazilians, who share few cultural similarities to Serbians. Just as Asian and African cultures compose a vary wide and diverse set of norms, so do ours.
Yeah, I'd say the idea of boots in bed comes from a few old cowboy movies.
She isn't targeting the US though - there are some comments which do but the OP is in Australia and is commenting on what they find weird THERE compared to where she is from. Some of the others commenting are clearly from other places, a few mention the US and are specific but many could easily apply to other countries.
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