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“I Can’t Tell If You’re Flirting”: Men Share 20 Things That They Struggle To Get Through To Women
Remember how John Gray said that men and women are from distinct planets – it is still believed by our society that no matter how hard we try, women won't understand men and vice versa. The common idea is that women are much more communicative and tend to express their feelings, whereas men are seen as more introverted and even apathetic. The myth about women and men having different brains has been busted, so how could it be explained that we both have such behavioral differences?
One neuropsychiatrist suggested that the male brain reads emotions very quickly and then shuts it down behind the mask of masculinity. So, could it be that those differences come from the toxic societal norms? While our world is slowly trying to introduce a healthy atmosphere towards its people, an online user decided to find things out through men themselves and asked the community: "men of Reddit, what's the most difficult thing to explain to women?"
The question received 13.4K upvotes and 8.3K comments where men listed a bunch of random things that they personally had a hard time explaining to women. However, If there's anything on your mind that you would like to add, don't hesitate to comment down below.
More info: Reddit
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#1
That, despite what movies/TV/literature hammer into your brains, fathers can be emotionally available, engaged, great parents.
I'm the sole parent of a son and two daughters and I've had to listen to "what does mom think of her getting this haircut?", and "tell mom to schedule an appointment" for years.
Mom's in a halfway house you f%*kwit, and I'm plenty capable of making decisions for my own children.
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
Well done good sir. I do know that there are many fantastic fathers our there, single or not. And as a single mother I also hate the assumptions about "mom stuff" and "dad stuff"... really, do not even get me started on that subject.
LakeMonster 3 years ago
Go dads! When my 19yo daughter was smaller I often dealt with this stereotype. It's not "babysitting" when it's my own kid.
Ozacoter 3 years ago
Men who step up and do their fair share (or more) of paternity are heroes. Sadly it is still too common that the mum is doing most things for the kids
Neha 3 years ago
Why is a father stepping up and being a father considered a hero?
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Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
Good on you man! I was a single father of 4 for most of their lives. Got them up in the morning, fed, off to school, home, homework, dinner, baths and bed. God help me if I was late for work. The female supervisors never believed a guy like me could raise a son and 3 daughters. I'd catch hell.
Kanga9ine 3 years ago
Kids need more than anything to have someone on their side. You don't fight their battles they encounter, but it matters your there to help them get back up on their feet to fight the next one. Love em with all your heart and let them make mistakes. Teach them how. Don't cram stuff down their throats that you can't back up or do yourself. Life is a series of lessons and each one of us have something in us no one else has. Our job is to find it. And their job is to do the same. Let them.
Leslie Burleson 3 years ago
Try not to take it as an insult . It's somebody trying to relate to you and be friendly . They don't realize they're being offensive . My dad totally sucked. My husband is an amazing father . The difference is astounding . My kids aren't afraid of men , they're very confident and very loved .
Emily 3 years ago
This!! I am currently pregnant with our first child and I am mildly terrified of everything involved with parenting, but my husband is STOKED to be a dad! It's adorable, and he talks to my stomach every day to make sure baby knows it's loved. He is so good with our friends' children and he's going to be an amazing father and I can't wait to see it and learn from him!
Hanna Sofia 3 years ago
THIS! my father raised 6 children by himself, and i couldn't be more grateful
RELATED:
#2
That many men only have meaningful physical contact with their SO.
Single men often exist in touch isolation. For a variety of reasons and social pressures, many men experience a lack of physical contact.
Most men I know won't even feel comfortable hugging their best friend. For a long time, the only physical contact I had with other people was either sexual or a part of a competitive sport. Getting closer to middle age I've learned to hug my friends and have platonic physical contact.
It really helped my mental health. I used to feel alone all the time even when I was with friends. Hug your male friends and help them normalize platonic physical affection.
Debbie 3 years ago
Also culturally determined. In some cultures physical contact between males in is much more normal.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
In many Islamic countries men hold hands with their friends
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Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
Thankfully, my brothers all are growing up in a very huggy family, so they do know that it is normal to hug your friends/family and show affection for them.
deathrose 3 years ago
My husband is very touchy. I have Aspergers and don't like to be touched, even by people I love, because it's very overwhelming for me. But I also know that physical contact is very important to my husband mentally and emotionally so I just deal with it.
May 3 years ago
I'm not fond of being touched either, but I don't mind, if I'm doing the touching. So when I'm with people who need touch, I'll give them massages or play with their hair. That way my only touching part is my hands, and I have complete control. And they get the touch they crave.
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Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
Every partner I've ever had was uncomfortable with me hugging my male friends and asked me to stop. I refused. We all need to show affection to those we care about. It makes the world a better place.
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
This is nearly the opposite of my experience as a woman. With the exception of a very few select people (like my girlfriend and immediate family), I don't like being touched by anyone. As I've aged I've gotten better at realizing and protecting my desire for touch isolation.
Ozacoter 3 years ago
This is very true but it is up to those men to fight the ridiculous gender rules that our society has. It is not much that women cam do about it besides support feminism and believe men.
Brian Michael 3 years ago
Now take that thought and flip the genders in it. See how if it was a man telling a woman to figure it out and all he can do is just support their problem and believe them? It would be deemed demeaning or sexist.
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#3
I do not pick up on "signals." Please ask us out or tell me, to my face, like a 5 year old, what you want or are thinking. I am kind of dumb.
Elliot Fowler 3 years ago
That probably won't be enough. Since the probabily of this happening is so rare, a man might think that this is a trick or prank. Kinda like finding a gold chest in the moddle of the road. Too good to be true
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Well that's why everyone, regardless of gender needs to stop 'playing games' or 'giving hints' and just say what they mean when they mean it. Plus, understanding that they are free to respond honestly. It would surely take the stress and mysticism out of it.
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Natalia Maciel 3 years ago
As a woman on the autistic spectrum this is something I strugle with too
Viviane 3 years ago
My boss wrote me a message with a typo so I did not understand it all. She had to leave suddenly, so a colleague told me what it meant. So now I have a Vivinterpreter or Viv Whisperer.
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pusheen buttercup 3 years ago
You're not dumb :) lots of people don't get signals- and even if they think they do it's better to not assume, because everyone has different signals.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
Yes. Don't make me play guessing games and if you're mad at me, it's better to tell me what you're mad about as opposed to refusing to do so and leaving me to figure out why you're upset with me. The sooner I know, the sooner we can deal with it.
Daria B 3 years ago
Well said. However, if you're suspecting someone's into you, it's also a good idea to be the one to ask directly. They might open up, or they might refuse, at least you know who you're dealing with.
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Ivana 3 years ago
I don't pick up on any signals ever. You have to be incredibly blunt with me. I was really isolated growing up between living a hour away from any civilization and purposefully avoid people when I did go out or while at school, so social cues are not my strong suit. Doing well when it comes to professional social cues at work, but still really bad in social interactions. Depend heavily on my husband who has really helped me to pick up on social cues. Only reason we ended up together was because I saw him, told him he was attractive, I liked his absurd 80s sunglasses, and I wanted to date him. I am very romantic. Honestly that was my pickup line.
albernistuff 4sale 3 years ago
Thats how I ended up in a successful (so far) 25 year marriage
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Sage Gusano 3 years ago
I cannot count the number of times I have said "I don't take hints. Just tell me what you want."
#4
When I'm asked what I'm thinking about and I say nothing, it's because I'm usually thinking of something dumb like who would win a fight. Godzilla or Megatron?
AJ 3 years ago
I really enjoy asking my SO what he's thinking about right now. He's always thinking about something, he always replies when I ask and the subjects are so random!
Arthur Waite 3 years ago
He's brave and you are a gem.... When I started out with my SO, I decided that answering 'nothing' was unfair, so I began transferring the idle thoughts into words and sharing them. And usually, the reply I got was: "why aren't you thinking about me?" It's a red flag I was too stupid to see.
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Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I'm female and I think about "dumb" stuff like this all the time. I thought everyone did. Thoughts aren't always deep; sometimes they're just silly, especially when you have ADHD.
Vicky Z 3 years ago
I'm jealous cause I'm usually thinking of things that i have to do and delay them! Would love to think of random silly things
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Steph Harrison 3 years ago
I wouldn't consider that dumb. Whenever I get thoughts like that I immediately share them with my fiancé because the resulting conversations are highly entertaining.
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
This is also me. My gf stopped asking me what I was thinking about when I zoned out because it was always something like "What if people were otters?"
Pheebs 3 years ago
I have learned to just let those thoughts out to my SO. It makes life so much fun.
Sky Render 3 years ago
I mean size alone decides that battle. Megatron's about 8'6'', Godzilla's canonically 393' tall. That's more or less the equivalent of a 6' tall man taking on a 1 1/2'' tall mouse. The mouse is never gonna win that fight straight up.
Theoretical Empiricist 3 years ago
My wife stopped asking after I started honestly telling her.
#5
That I really want to dress up in full plate armor and own a warhorse.
May 3 years ago
Nope, sounds uncomfortable. I want an elvish outfit, with a bow and arrow and a wolf.
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Kanga9ine 3 years ago
I don't see boobs being a problem in a suit of heavy metal. Lady Godiva was pretty much a girly thing but with a war horse, I don't think anybody is gonna give you grief.
Load More Replies... Octavia Hansen 3 years ago
So how come you are not hanging out at a Renaissance Festival? It's filled mostly with women who are DYING for a man in leather or armour to fascinate them! I've been attending/working festivals for years and most men are afraid to talk to the ladies or the wenches. What is holding you back? And PLEASE don't try to pick up or flirt with someone when you are DRUNK! Not pretty!
Alan Gale 3 years ago
I live on a tiny island, and cannot afford to travel, otherwise... but I talk to anybody!
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Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
Don't feel so bad... I thought that by this point in my life, I'd at least have henchmen.
mcborge1 3 years ago
I'd rather wear Mandolorian armor and ride a speeder bike. So far I only have the helmet. :D 20211217_2...1e0f8a.jpg 
#6
When you ask me how my day was or what I did today, nothing in my day usually stands out as special, so I just dont remember. I usually dont remember what I do, I just live.
Eb 3 years ago
Chaps, I'm happy to share the secret with you. It's not a memory test, it's about feeling connected and (in a marriage or LTR) the shared life. You could talk about a thought you had, something you saw, an idea you had for the weekend. Just share.
Andy C 3 years ago
For me, especially on a work day, it’s that on the drive home I made a real effort to put “work brain” behind “home brain”, and the question requires me to go back into work brain, especially if the day wasn’t a good one. Certainly not my partner’s fault, but on really bad days I’ll reply “next question, how are you doing love?” She knows that is code for it was a crap day but I don’t really want to go into details.
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Oopsydaisy 3 years ago
Not your call to make. Nothing wrong with living in the moment.
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A B C 3 years ago
"Single Sided, Double Density, a floppy disk format". // "System/Subsystem Design Description" / "System Segment Design Description" / "System Segment Design Document", part of the MIL-STD-498 military standard. // Serious Sam Double D, a 2011 video game. I have no idea which one of these three would be the WORST fit, not even thinking about the best one.
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Stoopham McFernybabes 3 years ago
You know those lists they give to parents of school aged kids of questions to ask instead of “how was your day?” to actually stimulate meaningful response and conversation? I found them really good to ask my husband as well: “Who did you have lunch with?”, “What was something funny that happened today?”, “What did you enjoy doing today?”. I get far better feedback when I ask more specific questions.
Glirpy 3 years ago
I fell asleep and had a dream I turned into a bird with a candy bar head. And there were these other birds all tryin to eat my head and everything, but I got away from them.
Theoretical Empiricist 3 years ago
"The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep." - horoscope by Weird Al Yankovic.
#7
When I tell you I don’t need anything for Christmas it really means you should get me the 7541 piece Lego Millennium Falcon set.
Terilee Bruyere 3 years ago
This kind of goes against the "I don't pick up on signals" bit. Just say what kind of thing you want. You don't need to get specific but just say "I'd like something like _____".
Sky Render 3 years ago
If you're too nervous to say what you want directly like that, try saying "just get me something cool". That at least gives the context of you wanting something that matches your particular entertainment interests!
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
Sometimes it's hard to say you want something that cost that much. Last I looked, it was around $800 in the U.S.
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ZAPanda 3 years ago
This one is easy. Make a list of things you want and give to your SO so that they can choose something on the list.
Gin 3 years ago
Yes! A list with links so I will definitely get it right. Sometimes it's a wee bit too technical/specific/whatever and I do not want to spend scads on something merely to get it wrong! We will also go 'off list' and buy a few random things so there are surprises too.
Load More Replies... Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
I have to say, I want the millennium falcon set too along with the motorized at-at and voltron.
Blackadams 3 years ago
Heavy on this...like,i know im a grown up person and yeah responsibilities errwhere,but sometimes i just wanna do something dumb like play Lego or slind or go bangbang on airsoft or just put my head on my girl's laps...but no,me are supposed to be strong and brave yeah?i dont always want to be strong💔
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
I always heard "a woman never says anything straight, it's always in code you have to decipher, you're expected to be a mindreader" as a kid. When I grew up, instead I saw women clearly communicating their thoughts, needs and wants to the men around them, but the men were never listening. Then I'd see a consistency of men not communicating anything, but they expected everyone around them just to know what was going on in their head. Men are the ones who expect women to be mindreaders, not the other way around, we're out here speaking succinctly, men just aren't listening or communicating with us.
Solidhog 3 years ago
I had to buy myself the smaller one. And I had to design and 3D print my own stands for my Lego Ironmen. PXL_202112...570dd2.jpg 
Snorkeldorf 3 years ago (edited)
Awwwww man. I told people I don't need anything for Christmas and I know I won't get anything for Christmas anyway. Getting older sucks. Glad I'm still here though.
#8
That I feel like a creep just by simply existing. I'm always so worried I'm making someone uncomfortable just because I'm a sorta tall, kinda big guy just quietly existing.
I know it's because I've heard from so many people that "guys are such creeps" during middle/high school with no further explanation.
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
Aw, this is sad. Personally, big quiet guys don't freak me out or make me uncomfortable, they're usually the ones I like. And I swear I really don't assume that "all guys are creeps", I really do give all people a fair chance. I know that the creepy guys make life difficult for the genuinely good guys, especially if you're the shy and quiet type, and it's really really sad.
zovjraar me 3 years ago
the biggest, scariest looking guys are the ones i feel safest with
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Jon S. 3 years ago (edited)
This is something I don't often hear talked about. A lot of men feel overwhelmingly guilty just by existing, just by association. And a lot of men start to feel angry about feeling guilty. It's not a rational thing, it's something that lingers at the back of your mind.
Vicky Z 3 years ago
This is why men should stand by our side when horrible attacks against women are heard! Because this creates a bad picture for all men which is not fair! We currently have a celebrity in my country that is accused of revenge porn! Everyone talks about why women trust men to videotape them! I loved the comment of one guy: "by saying this you are implying that we are all a bunch of creeps and are not trustworthy in a relationship!" Couldn't agree more
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Ivana 3 years ago
We were moving and these two really large men came up from behind us and the first thing that came out of their mouths was, "We don't want to alarm you." Then they said they saw us struggling to move a piano by ourselves and wanted to help. Since they were both about 3 times larger than us we agreed, then they ended up moving every thing and wouldn't let us help. Then we tried to get the dinner but they refused, they didn't drink either so we finally settled on getting them smoothies. They were refugees from Haiti and turns out they had joined the military and both became professors at the local University I work for. Still see them every now and again.
Sky Render 3 years ago
A lack of confidence tends to be a red flag to stay away from someone as much as an overabundance of confidence is. It's quite sad, really. That said, simply presenting yourself as though you belong there and don't feel out of place is usually enough to not trigger alarm bells.
September 3 years ago
Confidence is the best in any gender but so long as it's not coupled with arrogance or stupidity
Load More Replies... JLH 3 years ago
Logged in to upvote this. I grew up assuming women hated men in general, and that the nicest thing to do was just not bother them at all. Stupid in retrospect, but it's a strong cultural signal.
SlowTo Learn 3 years ago (edited)
Part of it being a cultural signal is because of all the threats of sexual violence they get when they...do anything in public, professionally, online. It's also a pretty strong cultural signal that women are first and foremost judged on their sexual attractiveness, and often everything else about them is dismissed as lesser
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Jarrod Nichols 3 years ago
I literally won't even look at a woman anymore. If I pass one in the hallway, I stare at the floor or wall as I walk. All because I don't want to make her uncomfortable.
Sasquatch The Almighty 3 years ago
I'm exactly the same. I try hard not to look at women in public for this precise reason
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AliJanx 3 years ago
I REALLY dig tall guys because I'm 5'7" and I can wear heels and not feel like a behemoth. My husband was 6'2" and most of his friends are taller- a hug from a really tall guy makes me feel so safe because I'm completely wrapped. Bear hugs from him were the best!!! (Widow here)
Paul Mitchell 3 years ago
It helps when you realise that not all women are nice. In fact, there is no reason that there are any less arsehole women than there are men.
BorPand8 3 years ago
Yep. It's an issue with men because a lot of men get in the news for being such huge gaping arseholes. Like there's a big difference between killing your entire family and starting a gossip campaign about you. Don't idealize women though...
Load More Replies... #9
I can’t tell if you’re flirting with me or not.
Immortal Emperor Paradox 3 years ago (edited)
Whenever a girl talks to you nicely: "Is this LOVE?"
K W 3 years ago
She's not. There have been studies done that show straight men think a lot of completely innocuous things are flirting. If a woman looks at them. If she smiles. If she looks down. If she looks away. If she touches her hair. If she conveys any positive tone of voice at seeing you. If she's nice. If she's nice at her job. Yeah no. Women are just out there trying to work a job or exist while touching their own hair occasionally. And while they can't remove their eyeballs so ANY look they do doesn't get taken the wrong way I know many who don't smile in public or at men anymore because of how it's taken.
Eucritta 3 years ago
Yes. This goes along with the post about, 'I don't get signals.' That may be because they're not signals.
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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
if you cannot tell if the other person is flirting.... assume they *aren't*.
Sean Harrison 3 years ago
Just because the women isn't flirting with the man, doesn't mean the man can't flirt with the woman. It will eventually end, but there's no harm in flirting, that's how it generally works.
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Pezor Zass 3 years ago
so wait, does anyone know? if so many people don't get flirting, why the hell do people insist on doing it?
Pheebs 3 years ago
As a woman with all guy friends, same. I have zero idea when a guy is flirting with me. Only way I knew my (now) husband was flirting is someone mentioned they thought he was, and I flat asked him if was meaning to.
Ozacoter 3 years ago
Same here. I never saw myself as attractive and always had friends of both sexes so I always assumed that all men that were paying me more attention than normal wanted to be friends. My partner basically needed to spell it out for me to get a hint. Even during our first date I was still not sure if he was flirting or wanted to be friends.
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Mike Ward 3 years ago
except for the times when she is, and years later mentions that you don't pick up hints... true story of a missed opportunity for both of us.
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Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
Rule of thumb, if she's working in the service industry, like your waitress or cashier, she is just being polite, please don't hit on her.
#10
That the more guys you have hanging out together, the dumber s!#t they get into increases exponentially.
You get two guys, and they might throw a water balloon against a glass window, breaking it over the others face. Get four together, and they fire an airsoft gun into an empty room and break the lightbulb.
God help you if you get more than that... And yes, those do seem to be very specific examples.
Immortal Emperor Paradox 3 years ago
True. In my engg. dorm, guys used to wear those containers used to store design sheets over their arms and legs and fight with each other believing they were transformers. Crazy days.
Calvin Girvin 3 years ago
It's not necessarily bad for groups of men to act like boys. It can be therapy for having to be a grown-up all the time.
deathrose 3 years ago
I table top game with a bunch of guys. As the only female of the group I am always the voice of reason for their ridiculous plans lol it's like they feed on each other's stupid. I'm not a buzzkill, I do let then enact their crazy plans I just modify it enough to be successful.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
My sister plays D&D with a group of guys, and in no way is she the voice of reason lol
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Allan Breum 3 years ago (edited)
Fun fact; the same goes for groups of women, only in slightly more subtle ways.
Llewella 3 years ago
My friends and I got kicked out of a sauna for starting a snowball fight...
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Bruce Nielsen 3 years ago
Seen that video on youtube where a guy hits a watermelon filled with lit gasoline with either a golf club or baseball bat? That's male brain right there.
#11
That they need to stop being so f%@king mean to themselves.
XOnlyX WickrMe 3 years ago (edited)
Then talk to every movie/tv/music video/advert, social media etc ever, to stop making us. I was fine till the bare minimum acceptance was barely 7/10. Also, have us suddenly & magically seen as people, not T*ts And Ass.
Rockstar 3 years ago
It's more complicated then that...that's like telling people with depression to just not be sad...like that's not going to work
Iapetos 3 years ago
No that's something different. Sadness is an emotion, it just comes over you, but being mean to oneself is a bad habit that you do have control of.
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Davo gifman 3 years ago
It's a it's sad to see anyone being disheartened to themselves, but when you're told to mind your own business; what can you do??
Solidhog 3 years ago
Just being a gentleman now is so hard. Holding a door open for people. Seeing a person struggling with a pram and a little one or in the heavy rain or someone running because they are late and it's obvious they are heading for the train station. Society has brainwashed people that if I offer to help any of them it's because I am some kind of predator or creep. I want to help because I hate to see people struggling when it take very little effort to make their day easier and I hope someone would do the same for me. I don't care if it's a male of female. Everybody is equal when it comes to needing help.
Tom Bolton 3 years ago
That said, be as mean as you like to anyone that tries to objectify, ostracize or otherwise gaslight you with their bullsh*t. It's the result of their diseased minds trying to infect others.
Dee 3 years ago
I understand where your coming from I think.. I do question the necessity of being mean though, those diseased minds you write of were infected by another. I believe it is possible to maintain ones own boundaries while being kind about it, one never knows what seeds of kindness could blossom.
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Patrick O'Harris 3 years ago
Sorry that I grew up with people only telling me about my negative parts but hardly noticing my good parts.
Dee 3 years ago
That does make is more challenging to rewire those neural circuits but it is possible! We all have the seeds of goodness whether they were nurtured or not it is never too late to start. Our brains are incredibly plastic and with a diligent patience, kindness can be cultivated. May you be healthy, may you be happy, may you know peace in this uncertain world.
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#12
That dudes can have a 2 hour conversation with each other (phone, down at the pub, playing online games) and not talk about any personal things.
My SO finds it super bizarre that I can talk to my brother for an hour and not know how his family is going, how his work is, what holiday plans are. Sometimes some bros just want to talk about movies or make fart jokes.
Ozacoter 3 years ago
If you do it ocasionally thats great. But it sounds as if he never talks seriously to his brother. It is important to ask your loved ones how they are doing.
Troux 3 years ago (edited)
Yes, this is why many men don't have emotional support even though they have a dozen friends.
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Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I don't think that's bizarre. Not all conversation is going to be personal. If it is, you should widen your interests.
Sky Render 3 years ago
I mean, we can do that too. Women have buddies with whom they don't usually share emotional stuff too.
Terilee Bruyere 3 years ago
Mindless chats are sometimes more important to mental health than those that get deep.
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Rijkærd 3 years ago
After the first 19 seconds of asking how they doing and getting an 'I'm good.'response...the rest will be a bunch of crazy bollocks stuff
Craig Reynolds 3 years ago
Probably because certain generations of men were taught never to speak of any feelings or show emotional interest, lest they be considered less masculine.
John C 3 years ago
THIS. I'm surrounded by women both at home and at work. I go most days without contact with another male, and I am EXHAUSTED of talking about people. I want to talk about ideas and plans and dreams, but no takers in my circles.
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
I'll tell you, John, something that my husband and I have started doing. May not be an option for you, but it's just a thought. We've started taking walks together early in the morning, when everything is quiet, and I've found my husband initiating conversations about all sorts of things he thinks about. Sometimes a change of scenery is all it takes for someone to be open to trying something new (thinking of the women in your life). Anyway, the best of luck to you. Everyone deserves to be heard.
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BenMaharaj 3 years ago
Talking about shared interests with a friend can be fun and relaxing. That’s what a man needs from another man sometimes. I’ve felt incredibly close to other men doing this 95% of the time.
El muerto 3 years ago
Best times spend with male friends is doing stuff together. whether is hickning for a couple days, playing games or having a beer, is just being there in the same space. is not as cold and heartless as people think. is "the Zone"...you do talk of important s**t, but it doesn't fyll the whole time, it doesn't need to be the main attraction...sitting in a camp fire with a friend, in partial silence having a hot cop of te, and enjoying the sunset is not wasted time
DKS 001 3 years ago
and not all of us girls like the personal s**t either. When I was younger, I was always pulled out of the room where the men were talking about interesting stuff and stuck with the women and babies and crap I hated listening to. But "boys are in there, girls are in here" ... grrrrRRRRRR f that sht
Dee 3 years ago
I don’t recall where I came into contact with this but there was a dude that had an actual list of things his wife wanted to know, once he got that information to relay the conversation went on to whatever else they actually wanted to talk about. I felt it was a thoughtful thing for him to do and I’m guessing his wife was grateful.
#13
That when you can’t decide between two outfits and you ask us we literally would be ok with you wearing a garbage bag if it means the process could be sped up and we don’t leave the house by midnight.
Shelley DuVal 3 years ago
rofl, now we need to have a thread with odd random things stated just to see if someone can find just that picture!
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Ellie Rosser 3 years ago
She's not asking you to chose, she's asking you to help. When you say you don't care it directly reflects back as not caring about things that matter to her. If you're ok with that then go ahead, if not then look at the outfits and express an opinion.
May 3 years ago
If you have a man that cares about or understands fashion, then fine. I know men with excellent taste in clothes - I also know men who have no taste or understanding of clothes. Why would you ask such a man for their opinion? You can't make him have taste, no matter how much it matters to you.
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Craig Reynolds 3 years ago
That question when shopping together is why most men prefer to not go. When we were younger my wife would try on outfits and ask if I thought it looked good on her and I would answer honestly. She would accept a "no" with no questions asked but if I said "yes" she question me! Not once, not twice but several times. I finally got sick of it one day and after the 3rd, "are you sure". I grabbed her hand and placed it (you can guess where) and said, "do you feel that? THAT's how I know I'm sure It looks good on you. She never questioned me again and shopping became less drawn out.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
"Don't ever wear heels again, I hate it when my woman is taller than me", "I prefer you in dresses, when you're in pants you just look too much like a dude and I feel weird", "I preferred when you were working, you wore makeup everyday, you don't look as pretty right now", "If you're going to wear lipstick, it has to be red or dark - no light baby shades, you look like a toddler when you should look like a woman". Like hell you don't care what we wear, every guy i've been with has judged what I was wearing more than the women around me.
Auntriarch 3 years ago
I wouldn't bother asking him, he'll just choose the one with the lower neckline, bless his heart
Raymond Richards 3 years ago
If my wife shows me two outfits and ask which she should wear, she then wears the one I rejected.
Vicky Z 3 years ago
The point is that you are still helping her decide 😅😅😅
Load More Replies... Cydney Golden 3 years ago
That would make me crazy too...and I'm a woman. Just put something comfortable on and have a good time!
Alexander Smith 3 years ago
I think it would depend. Like if we had reservations or something I totally agree. However I'd much rather they feel happy and presentable in their own eyes.
#14
I still love you even though I can’t give you 100 reasons why I love you.
Sky Render 3 years ago
We don't need a hundred reasons. Usually the answer we're after is something along the lines of "because you're you, and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else". (Don't you dare say that insincerely, though!)
El muerto 3 years ago
that's is dumb...we are telling exactly that, we don't always have a good reassons to why we love somebody, women should at least respect that fact....we guys learn to say things just to say something, and is a pressure to find a wording that satisfy our partners. but we also know that those are just words, because you pressed us...most guys learn to tell women what they want to hear, whether is with good or bad intensions, because anything else is going to f**k things up
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Craig Reynolds 3 years ago
Yeah, I don't get that at all. Why do I need to list any reason?. Why do love me is like asking why are you hungry? Because I just am! Insecure people can suck the life out of a relationship.
Daria B 3 years ago
Wait, is this a thing? In our 11+ years together, I never asked my husband such a question.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Why does my hubby need 100 reasons? "Just because you're you" is the best and only one I've ever needed.
Snorkeldorf 3 years ago (edited)
One time I asked my hubby why he fell in love with me. I know, dangerous territory. He said "Because you didn't bug me". I didn't understand and asked for an explanation. He told me that others girls he dated always expected him to go out on weekends, called all the time and didn't like him going out with his friends. So, I didn't bug him. Who knew it was so easy? There is no training for this.
Fred Burrows 3 years ago
I could though but I'm contemplating having Lucky Charms for dinner and it needs my full attention
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
Do you save a small cache of marshmallows for that perfect last bite?
Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
That's true. But for me the "I don't know, I just do" doesn't cut it. Not 100. Just 1 or2 reasons would be nice. If you can't come up with anything that, to me, is suspect.
#15
I genuinely don't care where we go for dinner.
Pheebs 3 years ago
I argue with my hubs about going out. Why is it always my decision? Food is pain for me, just pick someplace you know won’t kill me and I’ll find something I can eat.
Vicky Z 3 years ago
I don't understand why someone would be interested in a person that doesn't have opinion about ANYTHING! If you constantly say I don't care what you will wear, where will we eat, what will we do then why the hell are we together and what's the point? This is like dating a child and actually a child would definitely have a stronger opinion
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lenka 3 years ago (edited)
That's great that you don't care. She probably doesn't either and is sick of having to make the decision every single time. To say you don't care and expect her to make the choice every time is lazy.
El muerto 3 years ago
nope. if you just choose, you are overstepping. so not to do that, you ask, and then you get an "I don't know", you come with subjections, and they usually are not the right thing. and the you keep going and at then end nobody eats
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Huddo's sister 3 years ago
It would be nice if the decision making was halved though. I don't always care either
pusheen buttercup 3 years ago
Yeah this one. My SO is a big foodie, likes very particular things, wants me to have nuanced opinions. I'm like, food, good. I eat it.
XOnlyX WickrMe 3 years ago
I have had the same 'no' food list for 7 years, and hubby still has no idea what that means. Even though I've literally told him 42 times.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
Make a physical list and post it somewhere—fridge, cupboard door, medicine chest, etc.—and then he won’t be stepping on landmines.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I don't either, except I'd prefer not to go to a national chain that basically heats up frozen food for you.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Exactly. And no plastic table coverings please. I choose 'cause I'm a foody and it's ok for both of us. And a simple but well cooked meal is waaaay better than some posh joint.
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Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
Hey honey! Guess where I'm taking you for dinner? Then the first answer she gives you is where you go. Boom, done! LOL!
#16
Lack of emotion doesn’t always mean lack of caring.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Yeah, but it's an excellent warning sign for the troves of sociopaths wandering among you.
Craig Reynolds 3 years ago
Certain generations of men were told that expressing certain emotions was not masculine.
I Liquored On 3 years ago
I moved to a country where a frown is equivalent to a violent outburst. I learned to rein my s**t in quite quickly. When I visit my home country I come across as an emotionless robot for a day or two till I readjust.
Patrick O'Harris 3 years ago
My dad cant express his feeling like...at all. I cant remember him saying "I love you", just the german equivalent to "Love you too" (Ich dich auch; doesnt involve the german word for love) mostly. But he shows it by doing stuff. Building stuff from wood for me (which I always loved!), repairing my motorcycle or even pushing it through the rain because we dont know why it stopped and he doesnt want me to get wet in the rain. He knows I get sick like really quick. I remember him doing that and he was sick with a fever the next day. I brought him tea and apologized that he got sick for me. He looked at me and said "Well, better me than you."
Camilla Koutsos 3 years ago
It is part of communicating to express feelings though. Bad communication, or a lack of it, make for unhealthy relationships.
#17
My missus met my oldest friend at a wedding early last year. Haven't seen him since, or for about ten years before, despite living about three miles away from each other.
Just before the wedding, she asked me how come we never met up, I said "he's alive, isn't he?". Couple of days later at the actual wedding, she asked him the same things, and he also said "he's alive, isn't he?".
She never understood that. Never managed to explain that to her.
les 3 years ago
when guys are friends we just dont have a need to see each other that often. I have friends i havent seen for years but i could still just walk into their houses and it would be like we saw each other the day before. our friends are our friends, its just that simple
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smugdruggler 3 years ago
I get this. I hadn't seen my best mate for about 5 or 6 years. But then, three months ago my wife of 22 years died (of cancer). He came to see me as soon as he found out, and I just KNOW that he's there if I need him. The amount of time since we last saw each other is irrelevant, I don't have to see him or talk to him every week to know that he's there for me, same as I'd be there if he needed me.
Kitty Jordan 3 years ago
Honestly, so many of these seem to paint women and men as monoliths. My friends referred to my "hermit mode" where I wouldn't come out of hibernation for a while, and when I did, we all picked up where we left off, much like this one. Or there are women who don't pick up on flirting, or men who do check in with mental health with their family and friends... I don't know why I bother to read these when they just seem to reinforce gender stereotypes.
Daisychain 3 years ago
I'm a woman and I'm like this with my best friends. We can go months without talking to each other but if we need anything we know the other will stop the planet from revolving just to be there.
XOnlyX WickrMe 3 years ago
Oh, no, he died 2 years ago... should have at least texted twice a year ffs :p
Lilly's Mom 3 years ago
I can't imagine that you're good friends if you don't care to see each other at all.
Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago
he's not your friend. he USED TO BE your friend. now, you are just acquaintances.
Craig Reynolds 3 years ago
Certain generations of men were taught not to need emotional connections or even strong friendships.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
Fortunately, those generations are slowly but inexorably coming to an end!
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#18
Why we can't coo qt babies like they do. I love babies they're the best. But if I do that in public people would give me weird looks.
Sky Render 3 years ago
Let 'em. Why should you care about what a bunch of strangers you'll never see again think?
Daria B 3 years ago (edited)
Because there's people too quick to call the police. But I agree with you.
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Sasquatch The Almighty 3 years ago
I do, and I don't give a rip about weird looks, I love babies :)
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
No; it only applies to specific people. Not every behavior is an example of a “cultural thing”.
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Kendra Miller 3 years ago
If more quys coooed at babies as they want to, it will be normalized. So more you do it, fewer weird looks.
#19
Idk if most difficult but it sure did took a while to explain to my ex that we don’t look at each other’s d!$ks at the urinals.
Alan Gale 3 years ago
The unwritten rules in a mens loo are really strict! No eye contact, no speaking, and definately no looking!
Immortal Emperor Paradox 3 years ago
Teenagers don't seem to follow that rule though. Those bastards find fun in almost everything.
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Vicky Z 3 years ago
There is a woman in this world that cares so much about what men are doing in urinals?
Luke Oakridge 3 years ago
There are a lot of women that would ask this question.
Load More Replies... Solidhog 3 years ago
Unless you like making other guys feel awkward! We use to walk into toilets a little while after each other and stand at urinals next to each other. I would then make noises so people would look and then make it obvious I was leaning over and looking at my friend and then say "Didn't think it was that cold today." or "Does it always look like that."
albernistuff 4sale 3 years ago
hmmm... I always carry around an accurate ruler, just in case :)
Pamda Panda 3 years ago
What I don't understand is why men's restrooms are designed the way they are if it's such an uncomfortable experience using them.
madmickx 3 years ago
It is particularly awkward if, like a lot of men over 50, (myself included) you have an enlarged prostate which makes getting started harder followed by a slow delivery. For that reason I avoid urinals.
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Michael Parker 3 years ago
Always make sure there is a urinal between you. If not, find a stall.
John Smith 3 years ago
Same rules for urinals as for golf, head down, eyes front and try not to swing to the side.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
The last part of this gave me quite a chuckle!
Load More Replies... #20
How two or more men can bond just by standing in a room in silence.
Terilee Bruyere 3 years ago
That's not difficult. Have you ever seen that glance between two women when they hear a really crappy pick-up line? They are bonding as well.
Tobias Rieper 3 years ago
sometimes just by one thing mention a game you played and they know it boom thats it instant friends
Nurichwersonst 3 years ago
Same for men in the doctors office when someone is caughing/sneezing... they nod at each other knowing that theyre somehow survive that deadly man-flu... 🤭
Mohammad Ammar 3 years ago (edited)
No they don't. Men do bond over a shared activity though, like videogames or sports. But I guess women would do that too if it were something they engaged in as much. Overall women have far more intimate and meaningful relationships because it's built on actual communication. Yes we men do have Strong friendships and are loyal and all that but it's all inferior to what women have tbh. Check out all the studies and statistics on this. Men are lonelier, have a harder time connecting and are more prone to mental illness.
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What do you think ?
Ozacoter 3 years ago
Its so terrible that our society keeps telling men that they cant express any emotion besides anger. Hugs to all of you.
Bob Belcher 3 years ago
From what I've gathered in my 37 years as a white male is that I'm evil for everything that happened in the past. I'm an asshole for not showing my feelings but when I talk I should just shut up. I'm not allowed around kids of any age or it's creepy. I'm not allowed around women or it's creepy. If I can't bench press a bus I'm not man enough but being too much of a jock is toxic. This is why I just stay home and I don't have any friends. I never learned how to socialize for fear of doing something wrong. The fact that I'm married with kids is still mind boggling to me.
Load More Replies... Immortal Emperor Paradox 3 years ago
Nice thread. Many of them seem to be universally applicable.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Let's top assuming anyone can read minds, and just use words. Radical, I know, but it's worked for us. :-)
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
Just be yourself and do your own thing. "THOSE THAT MIND DON'T MATTER AND THOSE THAT MATTER DON'T MIND "- Dr. Seuss
Vanta Black 3 years ago
You may be in my field of vision, but I'm off in my own world, not staring at you. My eyes are open so I don't fall asleep.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
supported. Just be kind to everyone please. Ask rather than assume. And don't pressurise people for answers and a psychotherapysession. sometimes just sitting next to someone or holding their hand says more than $1000 of therapy.
That One Russian Woman 3 years ago
sometimes asking how they are doing and leaving it at that is enough
Load More Replies... Ozacoter 3 years ago
Its so terrible that our society keeps telling men that they cant express any emotion besides anger. Hugs to all of you.
Bob Belcher 3 years ago
From what I've gathered in my 37 years as a white male is that I'm evil for everything that happened in the past. I'm an asshole for not showing my feelings but when I talk I should just shut up. I'm not allowed around kids of any age or it's creepy. I'm not allowed around women or it's creepy. If I can't bench press a bus I'm not man enough but being too much of a jock is toxic. This is why I just stay home and I don't have any friends. I never learned how to socialize for fear of doing something wrong. The fact that I'm married with kids is still mind boggling to me.
Load More Replies... Immortal Emperor Paradox 3 years ago
Nice thread. Many of them seem to be universally applicable.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Let's top assuming anyone can read minds, and just use words. Radical, I know, but it's worked for us. :-)
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
Just be yourself and do your own thing. "THOSE THAT MIND DON'T MATTER AND THOSE THAT MATTER DON'T MIND "- Dr. Seuss
Vanta Black 3 years ago
You may be in my field of vision, but I'm off in my own world, not staring at you. My eyes are open so I don't fall asleep.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
supported. Just be kind to everyone please. Ask rather than assume. And don't pressurise people for answers and a psychotherapysession. sometimes just sitting next to someone or holding their hand says more than $1000 of therapy.
That One Russian Woman 3 years ago
sometimes asking how they are doing and leaving it at that is enough
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