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30 People Share Their “They Didn’t Realize I Spoke Their Language” Stories And They’re Hilarious
Your friend and you get lost in a crowd. Abroad, far away from home. You're different and you can feel it. This feeling grows into a sense of superiority and you and your friend begin talking louder and louder, discussing everyone around you, even making fun of their foreign way of life. You toss in a few fu*king curse words to make it juicier and right then, when you least expect it, a random passer-by responds in your mother-tongue. Damn it! You forgot that the world is smaller than ever with cheap flights and even cheaper rooms covering most of it. You try to think of an explanation but you can't so you just lower your head and burn in shame. But the person who caught you feels victorious, after all, they served justice and that's worth bragging about. So they do. Bored Panda has compiled some of the best "they didn't realize I spoke their language" lines that multilingual people have ever posted online.
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#1
Most of these stories are a bit negative, here's a lighter one. My mum's a linguist and speaks about 15 languages fluently and as such, I picked up a couple along the way. Most of my childhood was spent in Germany so I have a firm grasp of the language...which doesn't really seem to match my appearance. I'm a 6'3, 220lbs, black man, who speaks German. Now this isn't too uncommon a sight in Germany, but in North America, I'm a f***ing unicorn. So I was standing at the bus stop one day in the heart of downtown Toronto and there were these two 60-something year old German ladies who were not having a good time. They were trying to find the Art Gallery and were fed up with the fact that they were having such a s**tty time navigating because their english-speaking children had left them alone for the day. I didn't have anything particularly important planned for that day, so I turned to them and said something to the effect of "You know, our city has a lot to offer if you know where to look. Would you two like me to show you where the Gallery is, and a couple places you can get lunch along the way" They nearly fainted. They were sooooo happy that they found someone who spoke German and couldn't stop taking pictures with me to show their family 'the guy that saved their day'. I walked them to the Gallery and gave them a bit of an impromptu walking/bus tour along the way. That was the day I gained two Omas.
Michelle Muirhead 6 years ago
That is a great story! On the other hand, we were on vacation in Germany (I am Scottish and my husband is German). We visited a cafe and my husband said to me (in English), that the portion sizes will probably be quite small. Well! The owner said to us “you will get a decent meal for your money!”. My husband was so embarrassed t say the least.
María Hermida 6 years ago
Lots of people speak English m, even in places where you wouldn't expect so. In Portugal, shop owners and waiters, even in small towns, can speak English quite well, and also Spanish. Honestly, I would never assume people don't speak English in the north of Europe 😄😄😄 You would be safe in Spain, though.
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Back in 1980, the percentage of bilingual Americans was 10.68% whereas in 2016, the last ACS survey for which we have data, it was 20.14%. Even though this percentage has been steadily increasing, it is still low compared to traditionally multilingual countries (for example, in Switzerland some 42% of the population use two or more languages in everyday life) but pretty similar to that of other countries with a world language as a national one (for example, France with its 20%).
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#2
I lived in South Korea for three years, but I never learned too much of the language. A friend of mine is 100% Korean but is very tall and was educated in America and New Zealand so she has an American accent. Her co-teachers at her school all assumed she couldn’t speak Korean so they would talk s**t about her constantly while she would listen on and feel terrible. She said nothing for a whole year until she had to speak at the end of year ceremony. The school offered her someone to translate but she refused and in front of 800 or so students and faculty members she delivered her address in perfect Korean. She subtly called out the coworkers that had spent an entire year calling her a foreign pig. Apparently one started crying from the shame of it. I wish I had got to see that.
Jace 6 years ago
“These days”? This is one of the most common bad human behaviors throughout all of human civilization‘s history.
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Dream Wolf 6 years ago
That is amazing! But honestly, shame on them for being so rude. People need to wake up and realise that the world is only getting bigger. You can't judge people for what they look like, no one really pure [insert race here], the world is mixing. We need to grow up and stop being so ignorant
Joyce Berman 6 years ago
Great story. Good for her. Gotta admit that I wouldn't have waited a year to tell them I could understand what they were saying. My son's girlfriend is Korean with a Scottish/British accent. It surprises people. She also can speak Korean, too, but she grew up in Scotland.
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
We were up in Niagara Falls, and a group of Japanese tourists came though. They were being disparaging of Americans (who I am ashamed of quite often, actually,) but loudly in Japanese. My roommate spoke it fluently, so as we were getting off the elevator, she commented (in Japanese) how rude some people were, and I laughed. They were horrified. (She filled me in later.)
The survey’s language data shows Spanish remained the largest non-English language spoken in 2016, as it was spoken at home by 40.5 million people, or 13.3 percent of the population age 5 and older. It was followed by Chinese with nearly 3.4 million speakers at home and Tagalog with 1.7 million speakers at home.
Several studies have revealed that early exposure to various languages boosts the communication skills of individuals, aside from the other established list of benefits of being bilingual. This includes delaying the onset of cognitive deficiencies, development of better working memory and increase in executive control, and so on.
#3
My cousin is a big white guy who studied for 2 years in Japan during college. He worked for one of the head of Honda America for a few years. When the head guy learned that he spoke Japanese, he would make sure my cousin was in all the meetings and phone conferences with the Japanese branch. My cousin would listen to everything the Japanese would be saying to each other and report it to his boss during breaks. As such the boss looked like a psychic to the Japanese because after break he would address their concerns without being prompted. The boss made mad bonuses every quarter and always funneled a bunch of that to my cousin.
SandraG_lak 6 years ago
Glad it worked out for him. I speak a second language and my boss wanted me to listen in on meetings as well. Seemed like a shady to do something like that so I refused.
Coco 6 years ago
yeah RIGHT, the Japanese are stupid and won't figure out that soeone knows japanese in the meetings after a few times... riiiight...
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
They are a damn smart people, but rather insular regarding language. It's a requirement in their high schools to be at least passable in English and one other language of choice. Japanese IS a difficult language for outsiders to learn (I know; I've tried) because the language has shifted so far from the written forms.
Load More Replies...While learning a language, people often mentally translate what they are learning in their native language (L1) before they can fully appreciate the other language (L2). But when a person is bilingual and use both languages everyday, they know the language they're speaking in "automatically" and they rarely need to translate L2 to L1 in their head.
Being bilingual provides different perspectives to the person. They become more open minded as well as more accepting of other cultures. Aside from gaining more opportunities to find a job, bilingualism offers them higher social mobility. Some studies have shown that they also might be more confident in communicating with other people.
#4
I once interviewed for a part-time school holiday job, together with a good friend of mine. My friend is Chinese, the majority race of the country I live in. I, however, am quite clearly not. The first thing the HR manager says when he sees me is "We need someone who speaks Mandarin", a criterion not stated anywhere in the employment ad, and which subtly translates to "Chinese candidates preferred". My friend, while ethnically Chinese, speaks little to no Mandarin. I, on the other hand, speak it rather fluently. Probably as a test, the HR manager decides to field us questions in Mandarin, clearly intent on cutting me out of the interview. My friend turns pale, as he stumbles along to answer the question posed in whatever halting Mandarin he can scrape together. The manager then turns to me, rather arrogantly, waiting for my reply. It gave me great joy to tell him straight to his face "Thank you for the opportunity, but clearly I am not the right candidate you are looking for to fill this position since I am not Chinese" in crisp fluent Mandarin. The look of bewilderment of his face was priceless.
Hanifi Güz 6 years ago
İf some interviewer wants to elininate you by some trick then you have no reason to wprk with this ugly people :)
#5
I recently went to Japan for my first ever international trip and was totally prepared to have to struggle through all my day-to-day interactions in Japanese but was surprised at how widespread even a basic understanding of English is over there. Everyone assumes you won’t speak any Japanese at all so they stick to as much English as they’re comfortable with or you basically just play charades. At a restaurant in Kobe, the waitress was practically fluent in English so we chatted a while and it came up that I’m studying Japanese so we had a little small talk and she was impressed. Then the owner came over to talk but wasn’t as confident in his English so he had the waitress translate. He was asking all these questions about where we’d been so far, where we were staying, how we liked everything, if we’d been down to Kobe Port yet, etc. It was simple enough that I understood 100% without her translation, and the waitress could tell. Finally, she says to him, in Japanese “By the way, he understands what you’re saying.” His eyes practically bugged out of his head and he got SUPER excited and asked if we wouldn’t mind waiting 30 minutes for him to close up and send everyone home. So, I wait, he closes everything up and we all end up hanging out that night. He drove us around the city, bought us drinks, even drove back to the AirBNB. Japan is amazing.
Id row 6 years ago
That's awesome, but there is a lot of racism in Japan. In fact, it's perfectly legal to refuse to sell or rent housing to non-Japanese there. This story proves that not everyone takes that view, which is nice to hear.
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
Glad you said something. They also have a tremendous weight bias there. It's different for sumo wrestlers, but an overweight American is the butt of jokes. When my (very large female) friend and I were there, we were waiting at Tokyo airport for the bus into the city. A bunch of drunken salarymen (I know; I'm repeating myself) made a comment in Japanese that she resembled Mt. Fuji. So I turned and said sweetly, in Japanese "Eat buggers and die, honey." They were horrified I 'understood' their language--and waited for a different bus!
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Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
My experience in France has been that when I try to speak French and people realize that I am struggling, they will usually say "Do you speak Engish?"
#6
American expat in Thailand. I have a beard. On many occasions, people will say something like "Monkey! Monkey!" or "You want a banana?" or other similar comments. Most times, I just ignore it as I don't want people to know I speak some Thai. Once, after an excessive amount of monkey comments, I smiled at the people (two young girls, about 14 or so) and said "Monkeys don't have blue eyes. Monkeys have black eyes, just like you two." They were speechless.
Helegriel Lyradin 6 years ago (edited)
Jokes aside, if you live here pls be careful because you can't have a beard/mustache in Thai universities and royal areas. Most workplaces also allows just a small mustache, never a beard. It's considered not looking like a proper human (ดูไม่เป็นผู้เป็นคน/หน้าโจร). You won't want to meet your gf's judging parents wearing any mustache or beard either.
Christine Holl 6 years ago
Thank you, I was wondering why it seemed common for the person to be called a monkey and had hoped someone would explain in the comments.
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Helegriel Lyradin 6 years ago (edited)
Let's say the beard is considered 'not polite' in many places, so most Thai men don't wear it. People who usually have a beard here are singers/artists (some careers that don't have to go to the traditional office) or Caucasian and Muslim immigrants.
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#7
I'm American, but can read and speak Russian on an intermediate level. A few years ago while visiting St. Petersburg, I was buying tickets for the hydrofoil to Peterhof. All the signs at the ticket booth were in Russian, and I could read the ticket prices. The ticket agent assumed I didn't know Russian, and tried to tell me the ticket cost three times more than the stated price. I looked her right in the eye and said in Russian, "I see on the board here that the ticket I want is (x) rubles." Her jaw dropped, and the ticket agent sitting next to her started laughing her ass off.
Ben Smith 6 years ago
How sickeningly dishonest. I would say the employee should be fired, but that’s just the status quo in some parts of the world.
back atya 6 years ago
The owner probably told her to do that. What does she care if she sells the ticket for more?
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Yasmin Janette 6 years ago
i'm english but lived in egypt for 13 years, my sister came to visit. We were looking in a shoe shop as she wanted to buy some sandals, she tried a few on and then asked the 2 female assistants how much this pair were, The women looked at each other then said 40 le, I got up looked in the window, came back in and asked in English how much? they repeated 40 le, I then said in Arabic, so why does it say 25le in the window? they said 'Oh sorry madam, it is mistake, so sorry', I said 'yes big mistake, we will shop elsewhere'.
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
Go to memrise.com! It is an amazing site for learning any language you want to.
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Jenny Shmurak 6 years ago
Actually, it's worse than that. They have a price to Russians and a price for tourists that's 3 times higher. There are signs saying that. They are not hiding it.
#8
Flemish guy here. Working as safari guide in Kruger area, South Africa. One time, my boss asks me to go pick a family of 4 up at the Klaserie reserve gate, do an afternoon game drive with them, and drop them off again afterwards. This was very uncommon; normally we only do game drives with people that book a room in our own lodge on the reserve. So I pick them up, introduce myself and go over the rules, all in English. They reply in English, or at least: the dad does, and normally I can pick up straight away if it's someone from France, Belgium, Holland or Germany. But his English was Oxford English. So I thought; English people. Off we went! 10 minutes into the game drive I hear them speak in Flemish, and not only that, IN MY OWN DIALECT. Side note; every Flemish town has a dialect, we can hear what region/province other Flemish people are from, and if from the same region, we can often even pinpoint the exact little town or community they are from. Oooh I was going to have fun with these folks! Found a few nice animal sightings, spoke English all the time, but then one sentence to the next, switched to their exact dialect. I thought; now they're going to be surprised! But nope... we all kept chatting in Flemish now. Only 20 minutes later, the daughter, maybe 10 years old, goes "wait a minute; he speaks Flemish!" After all had a good laugh, I asked them where they were from. They literally lived one street away from me. It's a small world, folks!
Andrea Bueno 6 years ago
I've noticed that people in the Benelux are so bilingual they often don't realise if you (or them) suddenly switch into English or back 😄
Zaneta Berkyova-Vasilenkova 6 years ago
Yes,I do it all the time,Even my kids
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Sara Chapman 6 years ago
that's so funny that they didn't notice until the daughter pointed it out
Wil Vanderheijden 6 years ago
KInd request not to refer to the Netherlands as Holland. It's insulting to most Dutch people. It's like calling Belgium Flanders or the USA Alabama.
DP von Icecream 6 years ago (edited)
Wat zit je nu te lullen man? :-/ Nederlanders gebruiken ook Holland als 1 van de definities.
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Christina Sersif 6 years ago
I had to look it up, but for those like myself wondering Flemish is a dialect spoken in northern Belgium. Had no idea! I assumed they spoke French in Belgium.
R De Backer 4 years ago
Hi Christina, There are 3 official languages in Belgium : Dutch (= called Flemish as it is the same language as in The Netherlands but the pronunciation is different), French and German. Most of us speak English too. And often we pick-up or study extea languages (Spanish, Italian and Romanian in my case). Living in Belgium with its melting pot of nationalities is very interesting and eye-opening..When you can connect with people in their language you can embrace their heritage better, learn from their culture, help them do the same for yours. Understanding each other breaks down boundaries, creates community and limits the power of the extremist endoctrination.
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Frank Hadzàlic 6 years ago
When visiting my cousin's family for the FIRST TIME in Germany his middle daughter who is fluent in English was my interpreter. One day out for a walk we were strolling arm in arm and we were speaking English. As we continue to walk suddenly she started to speak only German. We kept on walking and I was quiet and I was listening to her. Finally we stopped and I said to her, do you realize you were speaking German to me the last 5 minutes? She was surprised and embarrassed. I said don't be embarrassed what it means is you have accepted me as one of your own. We both had big smiles and went for tea!
#9
This happened to my brother and father while they were traveling. Some dude walks up to my brother, thinking he is a local, and starts talking to him in Farsi. When he realized my brother didn't understand, started saying really rude things, about him and my dad being stupid. My dad (fluent in Farsi) comes over, and rips this assh*le a second one. The dude feigned being apologetic, and made excuses for his attitude. As he was walking away, he started muttering more foul things about them, but in Turkish this time. Dad speaks Turkish as well, and proceeds to rip him a third assh*le.
Dream Wolf 6 years ago
That is actually amazing. Hasn't this guy ever heard of "when you're in a hole just stop digging?"
Sara Chapman 6 years ago
that is so funny it is awesome the dad was able to understand because i find it scary when people can speak a different language around you and they could at any point be talking about you
#10
Said something like "You need to be careful when talking s**t about someone in your native language, there might always be someone who understands you" in German while I was in Italy. A woman who was walking by responded "Like me for example".
Xavier van varenberg 6 years ago
german is quite common in italy though, especially in the mountains.
Paweŀ Ziem 6 years ago
Had the same experience with clerk in Oman, and the language was polish :D
#11
My uncle has a good one. My family are originally from India/Pakistan and speak Urdu, but my mom's family moved to rural Arkansas in the late 70s. It was a really small town, like never seen brown people small, but they ended up living there for over 20 years. Anyway, when my uncle was in high school, they had a math teacher from Japan. One day the teacher was berating my uncle for something (in English of course) and my uncle got mad and cursed him out in Urdu. The teacher replied very calmly, in Urdu: "don't ever use that sort of language in my class again, understand?" Pretty sure my uncle's jaw hit the floor. He didn't expect a Japanese guy living in a small town in Arkansas to speak Urdu.
STress the Terrible 6 years ago
67M registered speakers, official language in both India and Pakista..., probably ex-WW2 soldier on duty somewhere around India, maybe even POW... business or something... possibilities are endless. I'm not curious how he'd learned Urdu, but how he ended in Arkansas.
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#12
Im swiss and peruvian and live in peru, so i don't look at all like a swiss guy. There were two swiss girls sitting behind me on a bus talking about latino guys. Then one of them asked the other if she found me attractive. I turned around and said that I would love to know that too. The look of confusion and shame was priceless. Then we just all laughed. Now I've got two new friends!
Paola Martz 6 years ago
I had a teacher who was Polish/Peruvian, was an amazing mix, I get to know a lot of both of her cultures!
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Alexandru Bucur 6 years ago
Well, when you say "Swiss", that's a bit vague... were they talking German, French, Italian or Romansh? XD
Sarah Laurent 6 years ago
But... Which part from Switzerland ? Because "Swiss" is not a language... Italian ? Franch ? Swiss-German ? Rumantsch ?
Valerie Gibson 6 years ago
I didn't know there was a Swiss language, I thought they spoke French, German or Italian.
Linouchka 99 6 years ago
The swiss kind of German that is spoken in Switzerland is unmistakable :-p
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Sharon Lucas 6 years ago
I think this story might be a bit of BS. Swiss is not a language at all. The four national languages of Switzerland are German, French, Italian and Romansch, with German being the most prevalent at about 62% of the population. So, were the Swiss girls speaking a Swiss dialect of one of the primary languages?
Roxy Eastland 6 years ago
I don't think Swiss is a language, so I'm wondering whether they were speaking German, French, Italian, or Romansch.
#13
Me and my friend were sharing a cab with two girls we didn't know. Just decided to share a taxi with them, because it was a long way and we wanted to save some money. They started speaking Swedish not knowing my friend is also Finnish Swede (her mother language is Swedish, she has been in Swedish school, but is Finn and speaks Finnish fluently). I understand Swedish but I was too drunk to care. Suddenly she texts me: "They are planning to leave us with the bill." I texted that we should tell the driver so my friend just said: "These girls will pay half of this, before they leave." He got the hint and didn't open the doors before they paid. Also another time I was in an airport with my aunt. She had broken her leg so she was in a wheel chair, but because we were going to a beach holiday, we decided not to cancel it. Now my aunt has lived in Germany and speaks it fluently, I've lived there too so I understand it well, but I'm not fluent. We speak Finnish, something just to pass the time when flight attendant asks us to go on the plain first. This middle aged man turns to her wife and says in German: "I don't think disabled people should be allowed on planes." My aunt, who is a true badass, asks me to stop, I was pushing her wheelchair, turns to the man and says in perfect German: "I'm sorry sir, but I broke my leg and didn't want to cancel my holiday plans. You are being incredibly offensive towards handicapped people and I feel sorry for your wife. Have a nice flight." He turned red, couldn't even say anything to us and just looked away. His wife looked mortified.
Pamela24 6 years ago
Wow, what a b*tch. Who's mean to disabled people who already have it more difficult than able-bodied people?
María Hermida 6 years ago
I don't understand this kind of s**t. Why shouldn't "disabled" people be allowed on planes? There are seats for everyone... What's the problem? I'd say stupid people shouldn't be allowed in public without supervision and a muzzle, but that would be against the law. Also, what do these people suggest we should do with "disabled" people? Lock them in cage for life? Kill them? It's really scary!
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Best Finnish Potatoe 6 years ago
What badass woman! It's so rare to hear about Finnish people, so...
Sara Chapman 6 years ago
wow that guy so diserved that and worse. maybe someday he will be in the shoe of a disabled person and will regret ever saying that.
Sandy Farrell 6 years ago
I wonder if he was just concerned about her safety if there was an emergency.
Huib van Wees (hvwees) 6 years ago (edited)
To go on the plain first.... I think To go on the plane first.... ;-) Sounds the same, means something different...
meow point1 6 years ago
I'm from New Zealand. One time, my father told me that he was taking a walk and two women were speaking Swedish and saying that the English language sounded screechy and funny. Dad speaks Swedish because his mother is Swedish and he spent a fair amount of his time in Sweden.
Jace 6 years ago
I’ve always wondered what we sound like to people who didn’t grow up speaking English...
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#14
I was in an elevator going back up to my apartment after working out some two years ago and I had a man bun at that time. There were 6 other guys in the elevator speaking Arabic so I just listened as I usually do. Then, one of the guys goes, "Haha. Look at this guys hair. It's ridiculous." I turn around and respond, "You want to say that again?" The five other dudes proceed to die of laughter with one of them screaming, "I knew you were Arab! I knew you were Arab!" I ended up laughing along side them to their one friend who felt super awkward.
Daric Apai (Darquestar1) 6 years ago
Lets be fair, most man buns do look ridiculous unless you are a Japanese Samurai.
AnnieLaurie Burke 6 years ago
No more ridiculous than some of the styles women wear. It's silly sexism to think it's OK for women to be able to wear their hair in any style they want, but that men should not have the same tonsorial freedom!
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Sara Chapman 6 years ago
that is actually so funny my friends dad had a man bun and i think they make you look like a surfer dude especially if you a wearing tropical shirts almost completely undone
Dawn Welton 6 years ago
Please explain to me, what exactly is a 'gay-ish look'?
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When I started working at McDonald's at 16, none of the other employees realized I could speak a fair amount of Spanish. A few of my coworkers would talk crap about me in Spanish and I pretended for a few weeks that I didn't know what they were saying. Then one day a manager told me she was worth me than me because she was bilingual. So I told her (in Spanish) that I was actually trilingual. The looks on their faces when they realized I spoke Spanish all along was priceless.
Andrew Wildman 6 years ago
Very nice... bad enough when it’s your peers but no use for a witch manager.
Janice Seagraves 6 years ago
I've been called names in Spanish and they always look shocked when I turn to glare. Yeah, I speak English but no one likes to be called names, understand?
#16
I'm from the US and when I was 11 my family went to France for a couple weeks. My dad was a very smart man. He graduated college when he was 18 and had a love for languages. He was fluent in French, Spanish, and German and he lived in France for a year or two. He came back to the US and taught French for a few years before getting his JD and PharmD, He was constantly trying to teach us French whenever he could when we were little. He kept in touch with his French professor from college and when we were in France we stayed with them in St. Hilaire de Riez. They had a small party with some of their friends and everyone sat around talking and drinking wine. As much as he tried to teach us French, we could only do as much as ordering food and reading restaurant menus and such, so everyone was talking in English except for one man's wife that was there and didn't speak English. The hosts were translating most things for her. At one point, the man says something in French like "Americans don't value things like learning foreign languages." Not knowing my dad spoke French. My dad looks at him and in French replies something along the lines of "You're right, lots of Americans aren't introduced to foreign languages until they are older and already out of the prime time of their life to start learning." And that this was why he started teaching his kids French as early as possible and even why he brought his kids to France, hoping that we'd gain an appreciation for another language and culture. I didn't know what the guy had said or what my dad had said until after we left, but I remember the look on the guys face and how he was clearly apologizing repeatedly. The host laughed too and explained my dads history with French and his education. To say the man was embarrassed would be an understatement. Friday will be 13 years since my dad passed away at 55 years old. He was such an awesome person and loved by everyone he met. He would never take offense to something even like that guy. He was from a tiny southern town in the middle of nowhere and grew up with nothing and worked his ass off to get where he was in life. Cancer is a b**ch:(
Marzena Makarewicz Ptaszek 6 years ago
I am sorry to hear your dad passed away in such a young age. Sounds like he was an amazing man.
Pat Patterson 6 years ago
so sorry for losing your father - cancer is a plague - we pray for a cure.
Jace 6 years ago
Praying won’t do s**t for my companion with myeloma. How about voting for politicians who prioritize healthcare, education, and scientific study ... instead of religion and war?
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Helen Powell 6 years ago
Yes, it is. Sorry you lost your father so young. Our son was 18 when his Dad died at 54.. He never drank nor smoked in his life.
#17
Some guys on the subway started talking about their 백마타는꿈 (Dream of Riding the White Horse aka fantasy about f***ing a white girl) right next to me (mixed Korean/American but totally white looking). I waited until I was about to exit, then tapped their shoulder and suggested a few clubs for them to go to and try out next time. Told them they better be good at English though because everyone knows, white girls can't speak Korean. I might have heard an old man laugh behind me as I exited the train.
Friedlander Rosenzweig 6 years ago
You are a better woman than I am. I might have sneered and neighed as I got off.
#18
I was at a hotel bar in NY and a Russian couple were sitting a few chars down from me talking about what they should do for the evening. So I suggested that they go to Rockefeller center to see the tree (it was a couple days before Christmas) and try and find some carolers/christmas music performances to listen to. They were shocked an American could speak Russian and they were super pleasant people. They bought me a drink and talked about their impressions of NY for 20 minutes or so before they went out for the night. I was able to give them some advice and they gave me an ego boost by complementing my Russian.
Michelle Muirhead 6 years ago
Well done, make visitors feel comfortable and they will go home with great memories
Sara Chapman 6 years ago
oh like i said to a previous story i would love to learn how to speak russian it has always been a dream for me
#19
I went to a psychiatric emergency ward once and asked for help and if they were comfortable to speak English. I understand Danish but have a hard time making myself understandable in it and didn't really feel like an idiot at a crucial time of my life. I stayed there for 4 days without anyone realising I knew what they were saying about me right in front of me. 2 of the nurses thought I was cute. 1 doctor thought I was lying all the time. A patient thought I was a spy for the staff. A lot happened in those 4 days It made my stay way more enjoyable then it should have been.
Sara Chapman 6 years ago
that is good because i know that little things like that can help with a big problem
#20
My friend and I both come from Spanish speaking families, and we would speak in Spanish when we didn't want people to know what we were talking about. One time we were in my kitchen with my mom and my idiot friend started asking me in Spanish if I wanted to go outside and smoke weed.
Sara Chapman 6 years ago
oh my gosh that had to have been very award but probably something very funny to laugh at later
#21
While I'm Spanish, I don't quite look like the stereotypical Spaniard: light skin colour, blondeish, green eyes... When I was living in London I got into several situations like that. The top one was on the tube back home. I think there was a football game (Chelsea - Barcelona) and this couple was going to the stadium and I was standing just besides them. Tube had a hard stop and I accidentally fell a bit over one of them. I apologised in English as I didn't realise they were Spaniards too. They started talking to each other saying "this f***ing fat c**t nearly smashed in the ground" and things of the sort for almost 5 minutes. When they left the tube and he looked at me one last time laughing I told him in perfect Spanish "enjoy the game, you little piece of s**t". His face going pale as the doors were closing was enough satisfaction for a week.
Dream Wolf 6 years ago
I just don't understand why some people have to be so rude all the time. It's really not necessary.
Axanthron Myre 6 years ago
In most cases it's the same as trolls on the internet, anonymity allows for almost sociopathic traits. In this case it's simply the fact they believe they can't be understood and as such there would be no negative consequences for their crass behaviour (this can also occur when someone is drunk)
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Bluebell Rizzi 6 years ago
I just imagined him grinning and saying "disfrutaaa!" in a sing song voice XD
Joyce Berman 6 years ago
I know two women whose parents were 100% Spanish, and they're both light-skinned redheads with light eyes, not related BTW. Stereotyping is not smart.
#22
Oh I LOVE this one: So I was working at a dental clinic in Germany, and these 2 guys walk in and start speaking in arabic, not knowing that both I and my supervisor can understand it. The first guy (actual patient) is nervously telling his friend and this would never work, and his friend is telling him to shut up and play along, so the supervisor and I try to figure out what kinda game they're trying to play. Apparently, they were trying to lie about the patient's age to get his dental treatment done for free; (I dont know how that worked, I was just an intern) unlucky for him, his teeth told the truth (you cant fake being 16 when your wisdom teeth are ALL THE WAY out) So me and my supervisor shut up about it, and I'm in actual pain trying to hold back from laughing as the friend is convincing the patient that we're idiots who dont speak arabic and cant understand their trick. Of course until i cant anymore and decide to discuss the case with my supervisor. Right there in front of them. In arabic. I have never seen someone turn so many different colours so fast.
hashwadoobies 6 years ago
I was born in 1981 but only have one wisdom tooth come all the way out. Does that mean that I'm actually only 15 years old?!
Cheryl Wilcox 6 years ago
If the wisdom teeth are out, you are older than 15. If they are not out, no conclusion can be drawn. A theorem does not imply the converse.
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Cordi Schmidtová 6 years ago
My wisdom teeth were all the way out (all four of them) when I was 16 :D They had to take them out so they wouldn't cause any problems in the future :D
#23
Famous story by my grandfather who spoke Arabic and French. He was in Kuwait with his wife and 20 dollars to his name, applying for a job with a big hotel company I believe the Marriott. He interviews all in Arabic and he waits in the lobby to talk to the final guy for the job. Two of his previous interviewers walk past him and say in French “what’s he still doing here he didn’t get the job?” My grandfather then stands up and says “if I didn’t get the job why did you have me sit and wait here for no reason?” They look back at him and say “you speak French? You are hired”. One of my favorites!
Uchman 6 years ago
When you only have $20 in your pocket, I'm afraid idealism goes out the window
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Sara Chapman 6 years ago
that is so funny if being bilingual got me any job i wanted i would learn any language
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
It happens. And it will continue until we have a universal language--and beyond.
Load More Replies... Jace 6 years ago
Why? They wanted a bilingual person more than anything else, it seems. This is what job interviews are for.
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#24
The people at the Chinese food place on my campus spoke Chinese to the door exchange students. But even tho I spoke Chinese I just always spoke English to them since I have an accent when I speak Chinese. But one day I got all meat no rice since I had a rice maker at home. And when I was paying the lady says to the person beside her "fat ass wants meat no rice". And I responded in Chinese, "actually I have rice at home". They didn't charge me for the order and started giving me a bit extra whenever I go there
Sara Chapman 6 years ago
oh my gosh it is good that they didnt charge you because i would just walk out with my order and be like ¨ thanks B*TCHES have a nice day¨ all in chinese
Iris Engler 6 years ago
I just wonder why they care at all what one buys as long they make money
#25
I'm a Mexican who speaks Hebrew fluently. I was actually in the US in a deli around the time when the World Cup was going on in 2014. I was wearing a National team jersey and had been watching with family. We usually paint the colors of our flag on our cheeks (tradition). The game was over and we were getting food. So my parents, brother and I walk into a booth. We sit and the people behind us (three middle aged women) start speaking in Hebrew saying: "look at these stupid Mexicans (which should have been a giveaway since the word for Mexicans in Hebrew is "mexicanim") being loud and thinking they own the place. Typical". Well, I turn around look at them and answer in Hebrew: "yes we are very proud of our country and the great job they are doing at the World Cup. If it bothers you, you can move". The look on their faces was priceless. I've never felt so empowered...until Mexico did a s**t job and got eliminated from the cup.
Avital Pilpel 5 years ago
I'm Israeli and am embarrassed because of these idiot Hebrew speakers...
Ashley Wright 6 years ago
Despite being eliminated, the satisfaction you got was well worth it
#26
I'm half Chinese, quarter English, quarter Irish, and was born and raised in London - I don't look particularly British (or indeed Chinese), but I definitely look "foreign". In the wake of Brexit, I happened to be on the phone to my mother (Chinese) while on the train commuting into work, so I was speaking Mandarin. While on the phone to her, I overheard some little prick grumbling about "the f***ing Chinese in this country, Brexit borders immigrants Muslims Polish builders taking our jobs stealing our benefits rarararararagrgghhhh" or whatever - but the word chink came into it a couple times, too. Clearly this man had been emboldened by the vote to leave the EU and felt justified in airing his racism, feeling there were lots of like-minded others. English very much being my first language, I turned to him and just said, "you f***ing what mate?" in my clearly-from-south-London accent. At this point he immediately started to backpedal, and said I was "alright" because I was "one of us", whatever the f**k that meant. So I got called out for being a foreigner in my own country, which is both amusing and sad.
Talia Johnson 6 years ago
I'm so sorry that the Brexit madness has enboldened these racists to spread their bitter hate.
Lucinda Overhoussen 6 years ago
This is my biggest fear about Brexit. 5unts like that thinking it's ok to crawl out of the woodwork.
Dream Wolf 6 years ago
Racist people deserve to rot somewhere really really nasty. And then there are those who think that are better then everyone else and anyone who says anything different is cursed out of the building. They raise their children with hate and ignorance. They spew poison all over the street. They act like they are above everyone else and that the rest of us deserve to rot. What was ours is now theirs, our languages are our burdens and shame. Our skin colour is our curse. Those lucky few who are born into the acceptable bracket are welcomed with open arms, the rest of us? Apparently we don't even deserve to be treated like humans. This is the world we live in and we will continue to live in it because unfortunately most of the people in our world are like that. Our leaders and those we trust. We can't change that.
Leisha Eastergard 6 years ago
This wave of neo-conservatism and hatred towards anyone but whites is absolutely fueled by the a*****e Republicans and Trump in the U.S. - so sad to see it in the U.K., too. I’m hoping next elections things will right themselves.
Jace 6 years ago
The USA is in s**t condition right now, but why do you think the global wave of conservatism and racism is specifically being triggered by the USA’s shithead President?
Load More Replies... Id row 6 years ago
Just like when the Grand Wizard was elected president here in the US. All the roaches became emboldened and crawled out of the woodwork. I can't wait until sanity is restored to the office and a light is turned on. I want them to see them scatter back into the holes they came from.
Michelle Muirhead 6 years ago
Yep, lived in Oz for 55 years, I still have a bit on a Scottish accent, so obviously a POM. Go “back home”, I have an Oz accent to them. Can’t win.
Monika Soffronow 6 years ago
Why downvote? There is a lot of people on this planet who have been expats/immigrants for long enough to retain only a slight accent in the language of the country they live in, while at the same time they are losing a slight bit of the control of their mother tongue. One telltale sign is the way slang is used since they often have no clue about more recent slang but keep using slang words that just show that you are not "in".
Load More Replies... Avital Pilpel 5 years ago (edited)
How many people do you know who were actually fired due to an immigrant taking their job? (There is a problem of the *corporation* moving to another country, but that's another issue.)
Sara Chapman 6 years ago
wow some people need to turn on their brain power once in a while and become less of an idiot
#27
We had a large family reunion dinner at a restaurant and we were all sharing stories. My funny Uncle was telling us how he used to pretend he was deaf and his sister would translate. To prove it, he asked the waitress to get the manager. When he came over, my Uncle started signing to him...with made up and exaggerated gestures. My Aunt told him that the food was good and the server was excellent...all the while the manager just smiled and nodded. When they were done “talking”, the manager said in sign language, he spoke ASL and knew it was BS. We blew up laughing and my Uncles face turned beet red.
#28
My family and I went to Sri Lanka for two weeks to see where my mom grew up and general beach stuff. For some reason we were like the only people in the hotel we were staying at aside from a wedding party that left a day after we got there. A few days in there was another family staying there, I believe from Suriname and we were all chilling at the pool and decided to play a game of water polo against each other. Things got exciting and one of the daughters yelled out something in Dutch like "go for the big fat guy!", my Dutch dad replied "what big fat guy?", And everybody laughed. Just a simple story but it was pretty sweet.
Kanishka Rajawansha 6 years ago
Sri Lanka has a lot of Dutch descendants too. But not sure whether they speak Dutch these days.
Eric Michel 6 years ago
No buddy, the family from Suriname spoke/ understood Dutch. Suriname is or was a Dutch colony, many of them speak Dutch.
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Anoushka Small 6 years ago
I'm from Suriname and yes we spreken Nederlands. And at least one other language, our mother tongue, maybe creole, Indian, Javanese, Chinese, for a total of 22 choices. And only half mil inhabitants
#29
While sitting in a Starbucks in Brooklyn (not the trendy part of Brooklyn) a couple sitting next to me started saying pretty racist antisemitic comments ( i wear a yarmulke) in swiss german with a distinct lucerne region accent. The looks on their faces when I greeted them in the Lucerne dialect definitely made hearing their abuse so worth it :)
Merlyn Emrys 6 years ago
The world isn't that big anymore, and there are hubs of population in each country, such as Lucerne, so certain dialects are prevalent. You'd be amazed.
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AnnieLaurie Burke 6 years ago
Being bilingual is a wonderful skill. It's sad, however, that so many of these stories are about rude people saying racist, anti-Semitic, or body-shaming comments and the dual-language dude calling them out. Good that the rude folks got some comeuppance, but sad that they would say hateful things thinking they'd get away with it .
Sara Chapman 6 years ago
that is awesome a lot of people need to stand up to racist people and give them a good smacking
#30
I was in Paris and overheard these two women mocking me for being a "fat American pig." I turned to them & smiled sweetly & said " je parle français vous chattes" (i speak french you c***s). That shut them up.
Ashley Kellers 6 years ago
Oui, mais, c'est n'est pas un "plesant situation" pour ca person, donc.......
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Peculiar Baguette 6 years ago
This one sounds so untrue. " Fat pig" isn't a common insult at all in France, and the guy clearly did not spoke french at all, since "chattes" isn't an insult.
Isabelle Beyns 6 years ago
Your French is really bad, but good try ;) you don't say "vous chattes" in French at all ;)
Kelly Von Tee 6 years ago
It may be French Canadian slang, but isn't "chattes" pussies? I find a good one is "souce ma plotte" but I'm pretty rude. lol
Camille Marquès 6 years ago
Yes it's pussies for french people too but we don't use it as an insult :) "con" is an old word for the feminin sex, we do use this one as an insult :p
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Avital Pilpel 5 years ago
Did you add that you fart in their general direction, and tell them to go away or you'll insult them a second time?
What do you think ?
misteriosa 6 years ago
Dear BP, if you already decide to cut down an article, at least have the decency to leave the original long version somewhere for us who want to to read it. I am dead serious, I found deep stash of rage I didn't know existed every time you pull up sh*t like this. Really trashy of you. Thank you for reading.
Just saying 6 years ago
What really comes out of these posts is what a nasty, critical judgemental bunch we are when we think no-one can hear.
Jace 6 years ago
It’s not just because “no one can hear”. It’s xenophobia. Proximity breeds contempt. We are tribally-organized social animals, and we are crammed into some places like cattle. We get sick of each other and the most common outlet for the impotent rage is verbally attacking those who seem like they’re not part of our tribe. The “safest” way to do it is with anonymity. I’ve been trash talking my neighbors (and other drivers), when they cannot hear what I’m saying. I wasn’t like this before living here! I’m clearly starting to lose myself to misanthropy, due to being stuck living next to loud a******s who chain-smoke (can’t open my windows, can’t go out in my yard, and it’s seeping into my house through the walls). F*****g row houses; utter savagery. Urban life sucks. I’m a nice, ethical, empathetic person, but being trapped in a place I hate is corrupting me.
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Queen MT [lol nope] 6 years ago
lmao, this happened to me all the time when I didn't wear hijab there is this one time in particular, so there is the one grocery store that literally every brown person goes to (Indian, Bengali, Pakistani, etc. I'm Pakistani but look like I am Hispanic according to everyone and their mom) so I was around 12-13 ish and can speak fluent Urdu (native language for Pakistanis) I was wearing short sleeves and some skinny jeans as I was walking down the snack aisle there were two Pakistani middle-aged women that were talking trash thinking that I was Hispanic they said, "look at this s**t wearing such tight clothing" and her friend responded, "yes you are right Hispanics these days don't know how to dress" this was all said in Urdu so I turn around and say, "yes what a shame that even though these are the only clothes that are being provided for girls WE can't dress properly" I say this in fluent Urdu, with a smile, grab my instant maggie noodles and go the look on their faces was priecless
Merlyn Emrys 6 years ago
My family (Native americans) were vacationing in Barcelona, in Spain, where the language is Catalan, with Spanish as well, and among throngs of other tourists we were taking pictures at a famous cathedral. A group of South Korean girls near us were trying to take a picture and I could see they were discussing, in Korean, who ought to take it and who ought to be in it, and distressed they couldn't all fit in easily. Then my huge, tan, blue eyed, silver haired Dad waves at them and says, in Pusan dialect Korean, "Excuse me, but I could help take your picture for you if you all want to be in the shot. It's no trouble." The looks on their faces!! Once they got over the shock, they were delighted to all pose together for their picture and thanked my Dad. He lived for two years in Korea, and so did his brother, and has been back to do work there often, so he's kept up his language skills- and his Pusan accent.
Pixxie Guppy 6 years ago
I'm hungarian and I've been working all around Europe for a few years and the first thing I told my colleagues is that they should really watch what they are saying because you can never know... One time we were walking in Belguim, Kortrijk and I saw a nice looking girl in front of us. I turned to my friend and said: "See, we're here for 6 weeks now and she's the first pretty girl I saw." all in hungarian. She turned to me and thanked me also in hungarian. Thank God I didn't say anything else :D
Kitty Jayne 6 years ago (edited)
This happened to me 2 days ago... my brother and I went in to a shop in Edinburgh, i'd just been to the cash machine and only had a £20, I just wanted a drink (£1) so the shop keeper must have been annoyed at the fact I had no change...he called me a bhenchod ( sister f####r in Urdu) obviously not thinking for a second that I would understand, 6' 4 white guy with blonde hair and white girl, i politely said kadafiz ( bye in Urdu)...he hung his head and didn't even look up to pass me my change...you just never know who knows.
Nadine 6 years ago
My grandfather was lucky enough to have a job during the Depression as a chauffeur for a very wealthy family. He was never educated but very smart and knew a lot of french. He was driving the lady of the house and her mother, who said in french "your chauffeur is wearing his hat at a jaunty angle" and my grandfather immediately straightened his hat. There was just silence from the backseat. We always loved that story.
Hope 6 years ago
This whole article pains me inside that I'm not bilingual! I wish I could learn another language, any language, but there aren't many options for me to learn one and the classes/programs I've tried only taught me bits. It sounds soo cool to know more than one language fluently :((
Suluhu 6 years ago
Pick a language. Find TV shows in said language. Watch them with subtitles at first, then without. Then go online and find websites of stuff that interests you in that language, preferably with community engagement. That is how I learned English and Polish. Classes taught me nothing.
Load More Replies...
Lulik 6 years ago
I am from Poland. Once my English teacher (who is also Pole) told us the history of his friend. He was in Germany and some group of Germans heard that he spoke polish, they started to offend him, but he was pretending that he doesn't understand anything. When they finished, he just smiled politely and with perfect German accent told them that he is the professor of German philology...
misteriosa 6 years ago
Dear BP, if you already decide to cut down an article, at least have the decency to leave the original long version somewhere for us who want to to read it. I am dead serious, I found deep stash of rage I didn't know existed every time you pull up sh*t like this. Really trashy of you. Thank you for reading.
Just saying 6 years ago
What really comes out of these posts is what a nasty, critical judgemental bunch we are when we think no-one can hear.
Jace 6 years ago
It’s not just because “no one can hear”. It’s xenophobia. Proximity breeds contempt. We are tribally-organized social animals, and we are crammed into some places like cattle. We get sick of each other and the most common outlet for the impotent rage is verbally attacking those who seem like they’re not part of our tribe. The “safest” way to do it is with anonymity. I’ve been trash talking my neighbors (and other drivers), when they cannot hear what I’m saying. I wasn’t like this before living here! I’m clearly starting to lose myself to misanthropy, due to being stuck living next to loud a******s who chain-smoke (can’t open my windows, can’t go out in my yard, and it’s seeping into my house through the walls). F*****g row houses; utter savagery. Urban life sucks. I’m a nice, ethical, empathetic person, but being trapped in a place I hate is corrupting me.
Load More Replies... Queen MT [lol nope] 6 years ago
lmao, this happened to me all the time when I didn't wear hijab there is this one time in particular, so there is the one grocery store that literally every brown person goes to (Indian, Bengali, Pakistani, etc. I'm Pakistani but look like I am Hispanic according to everyone and their mom) so I was around 12-13 ish and can speak fluent Urdu (native language for Pakistanis) I was wearing short sleeves and some skinny jeans as I was walking down the snack aisle there were two Pakistani middle-aged women that were talking trash thinking that I was Hispanic they said, "look at this s**t wearing such tight clothing" and her friend responded, "yes you are right Hispanics these days don't know how to dress" this was all said in Urdu so I turn around and say, "yes what a shame that even though these are the only clothes that are being provided for girls WE can't dress properly" I say this in fluent Urdu, with a smile, grab my instant maggie noodles and go the look on their faces was priecless
Merlyn Emrys 6 years ago
My family (Native americans) were vacationing in Barcelona, in Spain, where the language is Catalan, with Spanish as well, and among throngs of other tourists we were taking pictures at a famous cathedral. A group of South Korean girls near us were trying to take a picture and I could see they were discussing, in Korean, who ought to take it and who ought to be in it, and distressed they couldn't all fit in easily. Then my huge, tan, blue eyed, silver haired Dad waves at them and says, in Pusan dialect Korean, "Excuse me, but I could help take your picture for you if you all want to be in the shot. It's no trouble." The looks on their faces!! Once they got over the shock, they were delighted to all pose together for their picture and thanked my Dad. He lived for two years in Korea, and so did his brother, and has been back to do work there often, so he's kept up his language skills- and his Pusan accent.
Pixxie Guppy 6 years ago
I'm hungarian and I've been working all around Europe for a few years and the first thing I told my colleagues is that they should really watch what they are saying because you can never know... One time we were walking in Belguim, Kortrijk and I saw a nice looking girl in front of us. I turned to my friend and said: "See, we're here for 6 weeks now and she's the first pretty girl I saw." all in hungarian. She turned to me and thanked me also in hungarian. Thank God I didn't say anything else :D
Kitty Jayne 6 years ago (edited)
This happened to me 2 days ago... my brother and I went in to a shop in Edinburgh, i'd just been to the cash machine and only had a £20, I just wanted a drink (£1) so the shop keeper must have been annoyed at the fact I had no change...he called me a bhenchod ( sister f####r in Urdu) obviously not thinking for a second that I would understand, 6' 4 white guy with blonde hair and white girl, i politely said kadafiz ( bye in Urdu)...he hung his head and didn't even look up to pass me my change...you just never know who knows.
Nadine 6 years ago
My grandfather was lucky enough to have a job during the Depression as a chauffeur for a very wealthy family. He was never educated but very smart and knew a lot of french. He was driving the lady of the house and her mother, who said in french "your chauffeur is wearing his hat at a jaunty angle" and my grandfather immediately straightened his hat. There was just silence from the backseat. We always loved that story.
Hope 6 years ago
This whole article pains me inside that I'm not bilingual! I wish I could learn another language, any language, but there aren't many options for me to learn one and the classes/programs I've tried only taught me bits. It sounds soo cool to know more than one language fluently :((
Suluhu 6 years ago
Pick a language. Find TV shows in said language. Watch them with subtitles at first, then without. Then go online and find websites of stuff that interests you in that language, preferably with community engagement. That is how I learned English and Polish. Classes taught me nothing.
Load More Replies... Lulik 6 years ago
I am from Poland. Once my English teacher (who is also Pole) told us the history of his friend. He was in Germany and some group of Germans heard that he spoke polish, they started to offend him, but he was pretending that he doesn't understand anything. When they finished, he just smiled politely and with perfect German accent told them that he is the professor of German philology...
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