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Since the mid-19th century, organized feminist movements in the United States have fought for women's political, economic, and cultural freedom. But as one current TikTok trend shows us, you can fight gender inequality even by yourself, as part of your everyday routine.
It started in January when user Molly Barrie uploaded a video, inviting people to share their "subtle feminist power moves" they do on the regular, and it wasn't long before the clip spread all over the platform. So since International Women's Day is right around the corner, we at Bored Panda thought it would be interesting to check out some of the most popular submissions.
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#1
I work in a very male-dominated industry. It is not unusual for top executives to get very disrespectful or raise their voice in a meeting where they’re not getting their way without fail. Every time that happens, I hit them with ‘Oh, I’m just sensing that you’re getting very emotional right now, I think we should all take a five minute break to allow your time to get a hold of your feelings'.
Mark Erwin 3 years ago
I'm gay and I've deliberately said this to straight men and enjoy the look in their faces HAHAHAHAHA
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Is it too soon to say I love you? That. Is. The. Best. Thing. Ever. I send you a hug if you don't mind one.
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Not Proud British 3 years ago
The amount of times men have said that to women in a meeting.....
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
That's the point, using their own condescension back on them.
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HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
This is a bit off topic but please bear with me. A Fortune 500 company had a rule that pregnant women must begin leave as as soon as their bellies touched the wall before their feet. Looking around more than half of the men were bigwigs in more ways than one. She sued, as it was definitely discrimination. A lot of men had to lose a lot of weight to return to work. BTW, this was late 1970's.
Jennifer Biness 3 years ago
Read a thing that said Women have been deemed the more emotional sex, because Men have successfully rebranded anger as not an emotion
Ann Coffman 3 years ago
Unless it's a woman's anger, then of course it is.
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Jo Choto 3 years ago
That is 100% a power move. I don't know why men think women are emotional. Go to a football match and see who's doing all the screaming and crying.
A century after the 19th Amendment was ratified in the United States, the Pew Research Center found that the majority of Americans (57%) say that the country has not gone far enough to give women equal rights with men.
Among those who think the country still has work to do in achieving gender equality, 77% highlight sexual harassment as a major obstacle to women having equal rights with men, 67% point to women not having the same legal rights as men, 66% aren't happy with different societal expectations for men and women, and 64% say not enough women are in positions of power.
To learn more about the things these women are going through, we contacted part-time project officer/part-time blogger and full-time feminist from England, Nyomi Winter.
"I noticed sexism most once I had children," the founder of the online magazine Nomipalony told Bored Panda. "The expectation that you will be primary carer whilst you try to maintain a career is really challenging. We aren't making nearly enough progress with the gender pay gap and in turn the pension pay gap. Workplace changes could make an enormous difference to equality."
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#2
In group social settings, when a man interrupts a woman, I don’t look at him. I continue to look at the woman he interrupted. Then I interrupt him and say ’Wait, what were you saying?’ to the woman. She always smiles.
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
Yes, but it seems to be more common for men to interrupt women and get away with it.
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Lovin' Life 3 years ago
I always say, I'm sorry the beginning of your sentence interrupted the middle of mine. Catches them off guard most of the time.
Christy Kindness 3 years ago
Gender shouldn't matter, is just bad manners to interrupt someone
Dennis Mikulus 3 years ago
Some people have an endless stream of consciousness going through their mouth so its hard not to interrupt. It can be just as rude not to allow others opportunity to participate.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I have done this before, to acquaintances who are exactly as you described ... stream of consciousness speakers. If I've been patiently waiting to speak, with no break in sight, I raise my hand. Usually this subtly points out to the speakers that they've been going 15 minutes without a breath. If they ask what I'm doing, I say "I wasn't sure how to let you know I was waiting to speak"
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Daria B 3 years ago
Ohhhh! I suddenly feel grateful. Anyway, I want to let everyone know that this is really not an easy thing to do. It requires major focus of the situation, it's so easy to get distracted by interruptions and keep on with the sudden and new direction of the situation. Ao, wow! This is kindness and skill. Admirable, when you think about it.
honey_milktea 2 years ago
definitely gonna use this cuz it happens WAY too often. such a good idea :)
But even though feminist movements have attracted significant attention in Europe and North America in recent years, only fewer than one in five young women would call themselves a feminist, polling in the UK and US suggests.
It could be that they do not feel the term speaks to them or due to the stereotypes and misconceptions associated with feminism. ("Feminists don't wear makeup, they don't shave their legs, and they hate all boys.")
But Nyomi is happy with the direction the movement is going in; she believes that today's feminists are progressive and more intersectional than ever. "I'm so impressed by today's young feminists. We are more aware of 'white feminism' and I think the Black Lives Matters movement has really pushed the Global Ethnic Majority to the front of the conversation in the past couple of years."
#3
So I am a tall woman. I’m about 5'10, 5'11ish and if I’m going to be going into a meeting where I know that there’s going to be a man who’s going to try to speak over me or belittle me or throw his weight around, I will purposefully wear the largest heels, like the biggest heels that I have, which make me like 6'2, 6'3 so that I can stand next to them and look down on them and remind them that not only am I a match for you intellectually, but I could step on you.
JASH80 3 years ago
Love this one. I am a 5'11'' amazon myself (I work out a lot and am not a fragile plant) and I always wear high heels. I think it's sad that tall ladies wear flats because they experience that they are not appreciated in all their tall glory. Especially small men yap at tall women all the time.
Josy Bannon 3 years ago (edited)
Well tall women don't necessary wear flats because they are not appreciated in high heels? They wear flats because they are more comfortable and healthy for example.
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zububonsai 3 years ago
I would need 45cm heels to achieve that 😂😁(1,54m here) . I'm always overjoyed when I see a really tall woman like Gwendoline Christie... Go, girl!😍
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
I'm a short woman and I have frequently used this technique to get men to look me in the eye instead of talking over my head at whoever us behind me.
Pheebs 3 years ago
I can’t play on height, being average height at best, but I’ve apparently got a stare that makes my male coworkers a bit nervous. I only use it when they’re in trouble or being particularly difficult.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
The best way to get the best of a jerk is, in my grandma's words, "nice them to death". Bake them cookies, and while their mouths are full, take over the world!
TikTok user Emily Tangerine is one of the people who responded to Molly with a video of her own. "I came across this trend on my 'For You' page," Emily told Bored Panda. "I follow a ton of women who are comedians and professionals in their respective fields and activists. So this prompt was surely going to come my way."
She thinks misogyny in today's society is a really complex system. "I'd say the most oppressive force of it that is visible is the legislation that directly targets women (but will surely affect those who don’t identify as female but have a uterus) and somehow it doesn't affect men," Emily said. "Like the Texas abortion ban. There is currently no legislation against men's bodies, yet we all know it takes two to tango."
However, Emily sees women's lives improving as the older generation of men who are trying to instigate these laws fade into oblivion. "I see more and more women enrolling in college and that's going to help the situation. And I see more and more women stand up for themselves in social situations. "I stood up to my old male professor just this Friday. Women aren't allowing men to treat them like dog shit anymore and that eventually leads to legislation. Heck, we might even get one more woman on the Supreme Court."
#4
I often claim that men don’t have arms. Hear me out. So I was having a conversation with a co-worker recently and she was talking about how she wanted her son to marry a woman who could cook. And I said ‘why?’ And she said ‘Well, he can’t cook’ And I said ‘Oh my God, does he not have arms?’ And then she was like ‘no, he’s just a man’ And I was like ‘But he has arms’ And then she just had to explain that he was going to depend on a woman to feed him for the rest of his existence with like, two whole arms. So yeah, men don’t have arms.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
That's the parents fault. They should have raised him to be able to cook, clean and wipe his own ar$e !
Kel_how 3 years ago
"So are you going to hook him up to an umbilical cord again or...?"
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Sue Lynn Chan 3 years ago
Kinda cringe on people saying men shouldn’t cook, like then how would men survive if there’s no women left on Earth?
Mazer 3 years ago
She failed her son. I know there are parents out there who think doing things for their kids is loving them, I think empowering kids by teaching them self sufficiency is more empowering. Girls to use tools from the garage etc, boys to use tools in the kitchen and cleaning cabinet etc.
Everybody Say Love! 3 years ago
When I first entered the relationship with my partner, he couldn't cook AT ALL, not even boil an egg. I never held it against him, he can't be held responsible for not being taught by his parents and I guess his lack of motivation also stems from not being given the opportunity to learn. I'm not a fan of cooking with other people but it gave me great joy to slowly but surely teach him diiferent things: how to test doneness of meat, knife skills, cooking terms, how to identify different herbs from their aromas (his favourite thing to do now - he says Basil is the "meatiest of the herbs" which i totally get!) all sorts of things. With a little patience, time and effort, he has become a very proficient cook and I couldn't be more proud of him. Tonight is stuffed chickeen breast with sweet potato mash and roasted balsamic baby plum tomatoes. YUM!
Sareaesque 3 years ago
I had the same with my partner, no confidence in his ability to cook, extremely picky eater. Not really the fault of his parents just a result of his food habits due to the both of them working extremely hard. I've managed to build up his courage and his palette so now he is the main cook in the house (due to me working longer hours, his palette being the limiting factor on meals we eat together, and to keep his confidence and experience building) and I'll meal-prep once a week food for myself I can work around what he cooks (due to allergens) and every so often I'll cook something to shake meals up a bit and get him to try something he hasn't had before.
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Donkey boi 3 years ago
My mam taught me to cook. My 3 sisters were not interested and as a result can't cook for shite. All 3 are married, one to a chef, One to a man with average cooking skills and the other to a guy that can't cook (they are almost single-handedly are responsible for all the local restaurants staying in business).
Zuzanna Rzeszewska 3 years ago
Remind me of an anecdote of my brother. It was a common saying in my family "yeah, but you have hands?" My little brother asked great grandmother to do something, and surely she responded, don't you have hands? And he went, I do, but they are just so tiny! Raising his hands in the air and looking at them 😂😂😂
Olga Aftyka 3 years ago
This is similar to what I do very often, when a man asks a woman to do something for him, I'm like "I can see you do have hands, they look fully functional, I was worried for a while, but you seem fine and you're welcome to >do whatever he wanted done<"
"Sometimes [the situation] feels really bleak (like with the recent tragic murders of Sarah Everard, Bibaa Henry, Nicole Smallman, and Sabina Nessa)," Nyomi added. "But I do think that social media has opened up conversations that we just weren't having in the mainstream a decade ago."
"The Me Too Movement has led to real industry changes (including arrests). The movement following Sarah Evarard's murder led to an outpouring from women on social media the likes of which I've never seen. I wrote 20 actions men can take to be better allies to women at this time and it was one of my most-read posts that year. Yes, change is too slow but we have to have hope that it's coming and in the meantime, we keep fighting!"
And they're not the only optimists. More than eight-in-ten Americans who say that the country has not gone far enough to give women equal rights with men say this is very (31%) or somewhat likely (53%) in the future. Let's hope so!
#5
When I ran a preschool and a child would get sick and a parent would need to be called to come pick up their child, I called the dad, whether it was a two-parent household or co-parenting, whatever it was, I'd always call the father, and their first question was ‘Did you call their mom?’ And I would say either ‘no, I have not. I figured I’d call you first. What would you like to do? How soon can you be here?’ Most of them would get upset, or they were just inconvenienced by the fact that they would have to stop working to come get their child. After I would speak to the dad, I would call the moms and let them know ‘Hey, your child is sick. However, I got a hold of their dad and he's coming to get them.’ And the moms were generally in shock and surprised and I always got thanked because I didn’t interrupt their workday.
Martha Goodridge-Kelly 3 years ago
So close… but why call the mum after? I always get called first for my daughter illness and never once has my husband been called if they managed to get in touch with me. By calling the mum after you’re implying that the dad cannot deal with it and the mum still needs to be aware.
Call Me Mars 3 years ago
Exactly. The mum does need to be aware that her child is sick. I doubt she wants to hear from the child or partner after. If I am ever a parent, I would want to hear from the school first so i am prepared when the child comes home/I pick the child up.
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Zobi123 3 years ago
This is a little obnoxious. You should just ask which parent should be called in case of emergency, and stick with it. Let the parents sort it out. It's really none of your business who is the point of contact for sick pick-ups.
ZooMom 3 years ago
I thought this too. Our emergency contact paper work has us list them in order. I work from home so I'm first, my mom is second because she's close and retired, my husband is third because he's a 1 hour commute away.
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Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
I find this an issue in the opposite way. I gave my number to our son's school for an emergency contact, as I work from home. However, without fail, the school calls my wife every time. Why? Because she's the Mum.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
well that is the point, that is the default that schools do because they are anachronistic dinosaurs from the victorian era.
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Don't Look 3 years ago
There actually is in most good schools. Schools don't give a s**t which parent they call. It is usually the school nurse and the school nurse is just looking for a phone number. They really need to put the needs of the school before the needs of one child.
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anarkzie 3 years ago
This is odd. I don't have kids but I think over were I'm from you would have contacts listed in order of who to call 1st, 2nd etc for each child.
malenchki 3 years ago
Really? My dad always picked me up because my mums a nurse and my dad works from home so it was always more convenient for us?
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
This is my case, I work from home.
Load More Replies... Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago
At our school district we have to list phone numbers in order we want them to be called for parents. My cell is listed (1), my work is listed (2), my wife's cell is listed (3). Since I am closer to school (5 miles for me, 35+ miles for wife) it's no brainer that I go to pick him up at school.
Brafne Heiwer 3 years ago
Just ask what parent you should call and do that instead of bothering both.
adiiantryx 3 years ago
don't most schools have like primary and secondary guardian to contact in case of emergencies - like maybe the parent who's closer to school or something?
#6
When I’m cat-called, and I feel safe to do so, I will respond in one of two ways. I’ll either look at my phone and tell them what time it is to make them think I thought they asked me what time it was, or I say ‘sorry, I don’t have any change’ to make them think that I thought that they were asking me for money.
David Green 3 years ago
When I hear cat-calling, I assume that it is meant for me, and approach the source and say "thank you but no thank you, I am happily married". I am a 61 year old male. The source is usually a group of young men who are then embarrassed at any hint that they might be gay.
Hawkmoon 3 years ago
I saw a video of a woman who was regularly called out on the street, and she started filming herself answering in the lowest male voice she could, "Thank you." The confused faces of the catcallers were priceless.
iluvanimals 3 years ago
I am a 51 year old woman and would totally do that! In my teens I was able to do a deep guy voice. One time I was doing it in a joke flirt way to my gay good friend, and he was shrieking, telling me to stop. It completely freaked him out. Wholesome teen memory.
Load More Replies... K Miller 3 years ago
A pterodactyl scream is also an option... don't think I'd be brave enough to try it but it'd be hilarious as hell lol.
deadinside 3 years ago
i have actually done this bc I'm already known as the weird kid by most (i'm an introvert i like to be left alone anyways it's fine) so if somebody catcalls me, they don't know this, and need to be informed of my reputation
Load More Replies... Daniel Mattock 3 years ago
Cat calling is a cowardly d**k move, there’s no justification for it
Tobias Reaper 3 years ago
i like this one its pretty clever and would confuse the heck out of them
ZAPanda 3 years ago
Adults Wednesday Addams vs catcallers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlIAhjRwOIE
Ann Coffman 3 years ago
Tried. I got a "this video isn't available anymore". Did I do it wrong?
Load More Replies... #7
This is my favorite thing to do. Whenever someone references a man who was a genius or a top of his field, I’m like ‘OK, I got it. So he’s like the Serena Williams of like bankers or financers’ or whatever the field is. And it’s even better if he’s an athlete.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
My mom used to say, "Oh, he's their Marie Curie". Cue blank stares. Mom still does this, btw, and yes, my mother is bada$$.
User# 6 3 years ago
That might work even better if you choose someone who wasn't competing in an exclusively female activity. So "he's like the Jacinda Ardern or Angela Merkel of banking"
WatermelonTheDutchie 3 years ago
tennis isnt an exclusively female activity
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Faith Hurst-Bilinski 3 years ago
You can learn some names in your field that you would most likely hear about. I never hear about finance but I'd find the most influential women and use them.
Brafne Heiwer 3 years ago
Yes. Serena and her sister venus were beaten back to back 6-1 and then 6-2
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Brafne Heiwer 3 years ago
No. Both she and her sister venus attempted to beat the 203 ranked male played and were both beaten back to back.
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Ivolution 3 years ago
But why do you feel that someone said something wrong to start with? Why you need to say something in contra like...I understand if someone is provoking but out of the blue? What is the purpose I trying to understand?
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
There's a lack of acknowledgment of female success stories in general in some cultures. Ergo, by pointing them out, we maybe cause someone to think.
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Menace Dennis 2 years ago
so many hateful and bitter women on this site... no wonder they call it feminism hahahahaha
#8
I used to work in the call center for an airline and when people would call in to do a seat assignment for their families like mom, dad and two kids, I would always put the dad with the two kids because of course, it’s only three seats. And then I would put the mom across the aisle so she could sit by herself and dad would have to look after the kids during the flight.
Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
The father is a father, not a babysitter. Don't assume that all Dads are so uninvolved in their own kids' lives, that they can't watch them for a few hours.
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
I take care of my kids and love doing it. When we take an airplane, my wife always sits with the kids and I have to be alone. I would thank you.
Isabella 3 years ago
This is so childish and useless, the parents can change seats, it is not like their are obliged to sit on the allocated place. And how do you know that the father does not look usually for the kids? I know fathers spending more times with their kids than mums.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
It's a good reminder to the dads that simply assume their wives will do all the child care work, that those kids are theirs as well.
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Brafne Heiwer 3 years ago
It's really none of your business who sits with who. This isn't a "power move", this is a lady assuming that a Dad doesn't spend time with his children.
RandomHumanBean 3 years ago
me and my brother always wanted to sit next to my dad, and my sister would sit with my mom so it all worked out. my dad got the chaos and my mom got the child who would sleep th whole way ;)
Barry Mckokiner 3 years ago
What a dumb person. Surprise! Dads live their children and are just as much of a parent as a mom. We change diapers, get up at all hours, take children to Dr. appointments make family meals, do dishes( we don't have a machine), do laundry, get children to and from practices, take care of sick children, patch up boo-boos, read bedtime stories, bake and cook with children. This shouldn't have to be explained. The person that wrote this post isn't "punishing" anyone.
phil blanque 3 years ago
Sorry, but any dad who avoids caring for his children is missing the best opportunities of his life. I am accomplished in education and my profession, but being a dad to my daughter has been the best.
Jeremy Bayer 3 years ago
I have 4 children so each parent gets to sit with two. I usually sit with the youngest because I can hold him longest if he falls asleep in a weird position.
#9
I do this constantly. I’ve been doing it for years. It actually bothers my boyfriend whenever we go out because he doesn’t understand why I do it until I explain it to him. I never move out of the way. I will let a man walk into me before I move because they are so used to just not interrupting their time and just to proceed forward and keep moving until they’re in my line. And I just keep walking. I’ve been shoulder checked. I’ve been everything, but I’m like 'If you’re not moving, I’m not moving'. Haven’t moved for a man in years.
Jiminy 3 years ago (edited)
Yep, I do that too. But to be fair, these days it's mostly men with a certain patriarchic background who walk straight forward, not the majority. Most move, and then I move too.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
My elderly father walks straight forward. It's honestly not because he's trying to prove anything it's because his weight, health and meds he's on make mobility very difficult. He looks and acts the patriarchal type and I will not make excuses for the attitude, ever, but sometimes you don't know exactly what's medically going on with someone and why they aren't moving.
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Nathaniel 3 years ago
Okay, man here, I do not understand this? People move out the way for people? No one wants to bump into each other? If a woman has moved for me it is because she has noticed the potential collision before me? Same for a man, same for me moving out of someone's way?
Jiminy 3 years ago
There are loads of men on this earth who don't move to the side when walking and a woman walks towards them. They expect the woman to move, they don't budge even a few centimeters, even if they saw the woman. Sometimes they look you straight in the eyes. It's not a thing about not sensing or not seeing, but about dominance.
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Gaby Almodovar 3 years ago
This one is not gender-related, from my experience....unaware people comes from both gender.
Happiness is Hippo 3 years ago
I’m the kind of person who moves out of the way for everyone, regardless of their sex, while apologising usually.
Dyson Fey 3 years ago
Soooo you're a jerk? Sometimes people don't see you because they have things on their minds. This goes for all genders. A little respect and decency go a long way. Treat life like a power dominance game and you'll get crushed. Make friends with as many people as you can and still be yourself and you'll find life a lot easier
Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago
Jerk - is the first thing came to mind about her when I read this.
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Els Meilink 3 years ago
This ‘issue’ came to my attention only after me and my husband started going for walks together. If I would would in the middle of the path I almost always had to sidestep into my husband because no one would take even a little step out of my way. When he would walk in the middle of the path he always sidesteps but never ‘needs’ to as much as me, they would sidestep for him, but not me. At one point he asked why I would bump into him so much, only them I realized how insane it really was… no respect for me. The only solution to this ‘problem’ is what is described above, having to bump into someone and make them aware of their rude behavior. When walking on my own… so many times I have to sidestep of the path with one foot in the mud because 2 two people would keep walking next to each other and not give way. Infuriating
DC 3 years ago
I move a bit. Other person, too? I move enough. Other person not? Me neither. Also ... slow people suck. Walking fast may have a sufficient reason, but even running in a train station, people pull their suitcase in your way, stop and stare at you, when you're running after a train because the former one was delayed. Often, I just walk fast and look sideways so no one expects me to move - don't even know they're there... Works!
Brafne Heiwer 3 years ago
This is just rude. When anyone is walking toward you it is polite to move out of the way. It is petty to try to assert dominance over people you will probably never see again. I always step aside, regardless of who's in front of me. It shouldn't matter who it is.
Anna Banana 3 years ago
I've seen this one a few times now and I'm always confused... Do people in other countries not walk on the right hand side? If you're on the right, I move, if you're on the left, it's my way! Of course with exceptions for people with mobility issues, small children, very focused dogs, etc.
#10
I learned this from my older brother, who is a very intimidating attorney and has been my hero for most of my life. We’re taught, especially as women, that when we’re listening to somebody, we do active listening, right? You’re nodding, you’re raising your eyebrows, you’re tilting your head, you’re showing them ‘I’m warm, I’m open, I’m receiving you’. The best medicine for when somebody is talking at you or talking down to you is - stop it. The only thing you have to do to show somebody that you’re listening to them is to just stare them. Dead in the face. They don’t like it, especially with stillness. Don’t like it.
Autumn 3 years ago
Same, I try to look at other things or nod my head so the other person doesn't become uncomfortable.
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Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
There was a woman I worked with that sometimes could be intimidating and make people hesitate to speak to her. She didn't know she was doing it, and I can't say it was helpful, but otherwise she was very good at her job. But that's by the by. I couldn't work out what it was, why she affected even me this way. I took me an *age* to work out that it was because she never tilted her head. She always held it straight while listening to people. It is astonishing the difference it makes. I've held that knowledge close ever since, I never know when I will find it useful.
C C 3 years ago
Never tilt your head and tilt your chin up ever so slightly... even more intimidating ;)
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Víctor García 3 years ago (edited)
I'm a man, i do active listening all the time, but only men have problems about me doing that. Sometimes some of them thinks I'm gay. I don't care but makes me confuses.
Donkey boi 3 years ago
Or stare at the space between you and them. It gives your eyes a glazed expression that makes it clear your not paying attention or interested in what they are saying.
SpookyPanda 3 years ago
I didn't realize the head nod or tilt was universal. As a deaf person in the Deaf community, I definitely noticed that active listening is basically mandatory, even with men. I tested it once by not doing my typical light nod to show I am listening, just staying still but still looking at the person, and the person was so unnerved. They weren't sure if I was okay or listening. I will be observing this more... this is actually interesting.
The Cute Cat 3 years ago
Oh, I know it now. I have two female friend that always do that. Funny that I just realize it..
#11
So I’ve stated on my TikTok before that I’m an axe throwing instructor and I’ve been doing it for a couple of years, right? My favorite type of men that come to the venue are the ones who bring their dates or their girlfriends to show off that they are so good at doing a manly activity because axe throwing is such a manly activity and that, you know, they have the expectation by default because they’re a man, they’re going to be so good at this, right? But come inside range, who is the one that is getting bull’s eyes? Who is the one that is consistently getting it on the board? Who is the one that listened to every single one of my instructions? That’s right. The Valkyrie, the woman. I love her. Proud of her. Then you got buddy boy on this side who cannot get it on the board for the life of him because he hasn’t listened to any of my instructions because he didn’t acknowledge my presence as an axe throwing instructor. And he’s getting so upset that he is not getting it on the board and that's adding onto the fact that she is getting it on the board more than he is. And I see how fragile the ego is. So what do I do? I make it worse. I make it worse. I no longer acknowledge baby boy over here. I go to the star of the show, the Valkyrie, and I’m giving her all the praises that she deserves, in which I’m like ‘Yes, you are so good at this for your first time. Are you sure this is your first time? I’m so impressed’ and which is all true. And then I’d be like ‘You know, you should totally join our league. I think you’d thrive in it’, which is also true. And I love it. I love it. I loved rubbing it in his face.
De Gueb 3 years ago
I used to play a lot of darts in a pub. O a slow weekday the waitress joined us. She was amazing, she could beet all of us. So we got her to play on our team!! She was a little short Romanian girl in her 20's but looks 16. You should have seen the guys when she stated throwing!! we won a couple of local tournaments. Having better people in your team makes the whole team improve.
Donkey boi 3 years ago
My mam plays for a team. She went to charity event once (as an spectator) and Eric Bristow was there. After the event he pulled a lady out of the audience for a match, The woman beat him! That woman was my mam! She still maintains that he let her win but I'm happier saying 'My mammy beat Eric Bristow'. He handed her his darts, and signed them, she keeps them in her jewellery box.
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Dave Hinckley 3 years ago
My wife's ex-husband took her the the gun range, where she shot better than him, so he never took her back. They went fishing, she caught more than him, so he was pissed. If I took her to the range. I would be bragging about her. The guy was a fool.
Lingon 3 years ago
It's shieldmaiden (female warrior), not Valkyrie. A Valkyrie were servants that tended to the dead warriors and had sex with them. If you're going to use our mythology, please don't butcher it.
Mary August 3 years ago
Me and my husband went to a shooting range. The instructor (male) said right away: "Women are better at this. They consentrate more." And it turns out be true in our case aswell.
Robert Thompson 3 years ago
Here we do not have an example of Men V Women. We have an example of Idiot V Student.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
I have poor coordination. I'm afraid I would kill someone if I threw an axe.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago (edited)
My dad, teaching me to shoot: "Now, be careful, the gun will kick." A month later, I'm outshooting him, and that was the last lesson he gave me. (Why I was downvoted, I don't know. Let me specify, however, this was handgun only.)
Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
I imagine this is, sadly, the case with all physical sports/activities.
#12
I have repeatedly been asked to take notes during meetings and then distribute them afterwards. It’s not my job. So I started just not taking anything into the meeting, no paper, no pen, no computer, my cell phone, but I would normally keep it in my lap so that people didn’t know I had my cell phone with me. And then if I needed to remember something or if there was like an important date, I could use my phone to mark it. But I didn’t let people see me taking notes on it. And what I realized is that men don’t ask other men to take notes. It was only when I had paper in front of me that somebody would be asked to take notes. Otherwise they seem totally capable of remembering what happens in the meeting.
Not Proud British 3 years ago
I never noticed this before but you are right, I have never seen a man take notes, but plenty of women volunteer to do so or are 'voluntold' to be the note-taker.
Katchen 3 years ago
I work for a Fortune 100 company, and everyone takes notes in meetings, because everyone is responsible for their own $#!+.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
There are quite a few things in the office that can get delegated to women only because of gender. I have found a good way to deal with it, that is not dramatic or problematic is this: When you are asked to take notes/minutes, get the coffee/buy donuts/run a paper to another office, or anything that is not your job, you can just say, very cheerfully, "Oh, no, I did it last time. It's someone else's turn," and amazingly, it turns out it will be.
Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
*Hand up* I used to take notes, and it was not part of my job. But you're probably right that it's usually assigned to the nearest woman.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
me too. It's usually allocated on typing speed and accuracy where I work (me), but otherwise yeah.. they assume a woman will do it, sucks. And men tend to pride themselves in being pokeyfingerpokey typists. Idiots.
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Lemaire 3 years ago
I have absolutely noticed this before. I try to nip the problem in the bud and usually take notes myself. I do this in part so that notetaking isn't relegated to a woman, but, ironically, there is power in being the note taker. If it's not in the notes, it wasn't said, and vice versa.
Donkey boi 3 years ago
Most places I've worked it's the lowest ranking person in the meeting and by lowest ranking I mean lowest pay. Where I currently work, Staff meeting in the clinic, I get the receptionist to take the notes. In management meetings it's usually me that takes the notes. I've recently just started voice recording the meetings, uploading it and emailing to all relevant people.
#13
Every time I create a signing session for any of my married couples buying or selling their house, I always make the wife the first signer.
DC 3 years ago
Yeah, some duets start with the male, some with the female voice ... but in contracts, essentially it is irrelevant, but still considered normal to male-first any forms and scripteries ... well, I don't want this on either side - unless other things determine the order, I place them alphabetically, so whoever happens to have a last name along the lines of Abacadabra, likely is the top signer. Some even can sing, but that's besides ...
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John C 3 years ago
I was so irritated at the car dealership when we made it completely obvious that we were there buying the car for my wife, despite deferring all questions about it to her, the salesman still listed my name first on the paperwork. in hindsight I should have made him re-do it. I wish I had a do-over for that one.
Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago
Dealership did same when we bought my wife's car. I specifically mentioned I wanted car and loan in just her name and they made me co-signer (with her credit and income alone she don't need a co-signer) on loan and registered the car in just my name. We find out when we went to pick it up and show the registration.
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Jill 3 years ago (edited)
I just got my "first" car at the age of 50 (and a woman)...All the money was mine, i have only my name on the title and it is only for me to drive to work. I have never been so proud! Everything else like my house and other car has been co-signed with my husband (or while growing up with my parents). I could have done this before, but this time it was ALL ME! Not because I have to but because I want to!
Dyson Fey 3 years ago
Why the hell does it matter? Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a dominance game. Just let the chips fall where they may when it comes to these things. Jesus Christ!
Daria B 3 years ago
My husband wanted to move and put the rent on my name, but they told him "no foreigners". And the other homes were too expensive, so we've been delaying the moving.
DC 3 years ago
... uh, that's rude ... is there any reason, like a law prohibiting to rent stuff to foreigners or so? I mean, something they can't do any about? Generally, ... I'm sick of this. Foreigners, women, dark-skinned people, or just people who appear to be nonregular by whatever means, and whatever that means, don't need to be "put in their place", neither any downlookery upon them, neither any of this entire set of bogus ranks and priorities. Be a decent human (from what I know, I think you are). Should be enough, nobody should even want to know any more, unless relevant. Anyway, is this the landlord's decision, or is this the landlord obeying some stupid law from the medieval that happens to not have been corrected since...?
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Tessa Ross 2 years ago
Great idea! We are the most educated and we lead more families than men now. Our name should be first.
Tenacious Squirrel 3 years ago
I mean being married shouldn’t be remotely relevant, surely they just mean (straight) couples generally?
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
I don't think that will do much. Unless she is the only on the mortgage.
#14
I don’t believe in cohabitation with men. I have a wonderful long-term partner who is arguably a better person than I am. And we don’t live together and we’ll never live together. And I try to talk about this whenever it comes up because I want women to know that there’s other alternatives. You don’t have to live with men. You don’t. You can have wonderful long-term relationships. There are other options. At this stage in the game I just feel like we all still have too much patriarchal conditioning to have balanced domestic situations. I think it’s still almost pretty much most of the time short end of the stick for women to live with men.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
Might work if your child free otherwise it's just more complicated, especially for young children.
vogonpoet 3 years ago
My partner and i have a 9 year old. We don't live together. It works well, my son loves it. Some nights he has daddy all to himself, sometimes me all to himself, and a couple of nights a week he has both of us. It's worked out well.
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Mike Crow 3 years ago
Living together in a long term relationship is not patriarchal. People do that when they want to be together whether it is woman/man, woman/woman, or man/man. Majority of relationships it’s because they want to be together as much as possible.
Daria B 3 years ago
Thank you. This is very well explained. Sure, to each their own, if someone prefers living not with their partner, and they both agree, then good for them. But it's only natural to want to live with someone you love so passionately. My husband and I were long distance for 2 years before we started living together, and after 6 years, we got married. Never regretted this decision and I still feel lucky it's him.
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Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago
I would consider getting into a relationship again, if I met the right woman, but I don't want to live together. If she lived in the house next door, that'd work.
Rens 3 years ago
I'm in a wonderful long term relationship, we live in the same building but we don't live together. It suits us as we both have chronic illnesses and are disabled. I do the main "domestic" stuff because I like it. And he suffers from a lot of pain and there are many things that would cause him more pain. He's very kind, loving and supportive, and the first man who has ever treated me with respect.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Rens, I'm glad you are in a loving relationship. Good for you!
Load More Replies... Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
My uncle and his husband lived separately, and had a great relationship. When they moved in together, it was the beginning of the end. They both got on each other's nerves, and eventually ended up getting a divorce. Cohabiting isn't for everyone.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
That's sad. They didn't try again living apart from each other?
Load More Replies... Kanuli 3 years ago
Ok. When you start with „you don’t have to live with a man“ how does „the man lives with the woman“ work? Yes maybe we don’t have to live together. But double rent, less time together, double landlord stress, all adding up more with kids, no thanks. I am sure glad to live with my wife. You can be equal and share the same living space you know?
13 3 years ago
The point is that NEITHER are wrong and the differences should be normalised. Not that you can't live with your wife.
Load More Replies... Mazer 3 years ago
I know someone who does this, Met them purchasing my friends camper. They spoke freely about whose home it would be parked at for storage. We asked a couple of questions and got the lo down. They loved each other deeply but neither wanted to give up their space completely, I love the idea. They had been together for twelve years.
Katiekat 3 years ago
So much this. I'm 54, already been married twice for 25 years. No third marriage, no living together. Would love companionship, but the man needs to have his own house. No extra cooking, cleaning, caregiving. I need my space and tons of alone time every day. Another introvert would get this and be very happy with it. I definitely want to exclude extroverts and single fathers... don't have any kids, don't want anyone else's either.
Pinku León 3 years ago
that's just sad. We don't need them because they're men, we want to be around them because we love them. if everything in your life has to be a competition, then i'm sorry for you.
#15
As a feminine-presenting person who does not shave their body hair, I get my fair share of unsolicited comments from men about my body. The best response I’ve discovered to them is to just look at them dead in the face and say ‘Did you mean to say that out loud?’ Most of the time they’ll just squirm and not have anything to offer up, but on the rare occasions they do follow up with something stupid, I just let them know how stupid they are by saying ‘Ok, big guy’.
Pheebs 3 years ago
I have this same debate with a male friend about arm pits. He’s almost rabidly against unshaven pits on women. I told him he needs to start shaving his.
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John C 3 years ago
I've never understood the thing about shaving legs. I told my wife leg hair doesn't bother me in the least and I'm glad that she believes me and relaxed on that. She still shaves occasionally but I think, I hope, I've relieved any anxiety or stress about it for her.
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
I hope my daughter meets someone like you.
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Jo Choto 3 years ago
Shock news: women are mammals too. I have no problem whether women shave hair or not. It does bother me that there seems to be an expectation that women remove some or all of their pubic hair, which is just weird to me. It's there for a reason. I think it's basically a direct result of porn, which seems to be what a lot of young people rely on for sex information. Anyway, I don't shave, but you can't even see my leg hair because it's fair. All power to women choosing what they do with their bodies to make themselves happy.
Carol Alanis 3 years ago (edited)
I've gotten comments from men about not plucking my eyebrows, and not looking very feminine, when thin eyebrows were trending (early 2000s). Now, I get compliments on my eyebrows for their thickness, and how thankfully I didn't over pluck them like other ladies from my generation. I've also heard men talk bad about those ladies for having thin or sparse eyebrows. What is up with that? I guess men are influenced by trending beauty standards in a woman more then they'd like to admit. It sucks to know how influential temporary beauty standards can be on peoples minds.
SB 3 years ago
Ya that is weird. I've also noticed the men I've been around who start mocking a woman for having something like thick eyelashes with mascara on because it's "too much" are usually very unattractive without great personal hygiene themselves. Makes me wonder why they think they're in a position to put women down.
Load More Replies... Natalia A 3 years ago
What is a feminine presenting person? I get non-binary, trans etc, but isn't a feminine presenting person, a woman?!
ERIKA H. 3 years ago (edited)
What's considered feminine and masculine is based on societies gender stereotypes. I am a biological women, but I can still present as masculine, based on how i carry myself or how I dress. So this could be a women who is making a point that she presents herself as feminine. Or it could be a man, trans person, or nonbinary, etc. Feminine and Masculine is just more so one's energy, how they carry themselves, and how they dress (but again, based on the female and male stereotypes).
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Imogene Cargeaux 3 years ago
I was so annoyed by all the comments I was getting last summer about my armpit hair.. So instead of shaving.. I started dying it pretty colors. Blue. Teal. Pink. Red... whatever would grab the most attention.. n then laugh at the bug eyes stares I'd get from the assholes who believe women should be hairless n look like 7 year olds. I get so many compliments from women.. am I do get a lot from men too. They're always the tattooed, pink haired, pierced punk dudes who don't have a distorted view of how women should act or behave themselves. N those are the ppl who I choose to be friends with. Lol.
#16
This isn’t subtle, but I do it regularly. About 10 years ago, I was twenty-two years old and a freshly graduated college student in my very first office job, and my supervisor’s name was Rob. At the time, I was still identifying as a woman. Today I’m trans non-binary, and I know that back then when I was dressing really feminine, like aggressively feminine, it was because I was in denial and I was trying to assert my femininity when I knew deep down, it didn’t fit me. I’ve always been tall, like in the 5'9 range and height is not considered a very feminine trait. And so I was very insecure about my height. And that made it kind of difficult when Rob, very early on in my tenure at this place, came up to me and said ‘Hey, you need to start wearing heels to work’. I was wearing flats because guess what? I walk like a baby giraffe in heels. But I did, as he said, and I got a pair of heels. And at our next meeting, I walked in, toddled in wearing them, and Rob looked me up and Rob looked me down and Rob realized with horror, oh no, the office girl is his height. Almost exactly. Suddenly, I went from being the cute little feminine office girl to, I guess, a physical threat because I was his height. This was a miscalculation on Rob’s part, obviously, but it could not go unchallenged because then, from then on, every time I entered the room, he made sure I was sitting down and he was standing up. If he entered the room when I was standing, he would somehow get me to sit down, offer me a chair, whatever. If I came into his office to talk, he would make me sit down and then he would stand up and sit on the edge of his desk. So he was kind of looming over me. And it was really clear that he was intimidated by my physical presence and did not like the fact that I was that tall. But also he wants to look at the cute office girl in heels. And I thought this was f**king ridiculous. I’m uncomfortable in these shoes. You’re uncomfortable with me in these shoes. And yet here you are, making sure you’re always the dominant physical presence, this is exhausting. What’s wrong with you? I’m proud of twenty-two-year-old me for being able to recognize that something about the situation was wrong, because what twenty-two-year-old me did, I’m still proud of to this day. I marched myself down to the shoe store and I bought the tallest heels I could find that were still workplace appropriate. I mean, I’m talking like a pair of designer heels with a big old platform under the toe and a very tall stiletto heels. Totally workplace appropriate. But Jesus Christ, I was like six three. Rob did not like the fact that I was now even taller than him. Not one bit. So one day I’m at my desk adjusting my shoe and he sidles up, sees me doing it, and that’s his moment, he says ’You know you don’t have to wear those shoes anymore if you don’t want to. You can go back to flats. It’s fine. Just a suggestion, only if you want to. Did I go back to flats, though? Not on your life. The heels stayed, and now I’m actually pretty good at walking in them, thanks to Rob, despite coming out as non-binary, now I know most of the world looks at me and immediately thinks ‘Woman’. And you know what? That’s honestly on them. But what I carry with me from that experience to this day is when I know I’m going to walk into a room and be underestimated, I rock those heels. Suck it, Rob.
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
He also never has the right to tell a colleague, coworker or employee what to wear. Gross.
Ann Coffman 3 years ago
It was probably in the company dress code. Usually stupid shitte, like men have to wear suits, shave daily; women have to wear dresses, makeup, etc
Load More Replies... JASH80 3 years ago
so true. As soon as a woman is tall she becomes a "no-go", no longer as a cute little girlie they'd like to conquer. I see this myself - I am very very tall and strong, long blonde hair, I stride with confidence, and I can count the men who liked that on one hand (I am 42 yrs old so I've met my share of men in my life). Even the super tall guys prefer a girl half their size that they can protect and cuddle. I've heard so many times "why do you even wear heels, you're already too tall" - guess what, because I can, and because I walk better in them that many shorties who look more than a stork in a swamp ;)
Mazer 3 years ago
Fashion trends change so dramatically. Just peruse some images from way back when, men in high heels, wearing dresses or skirts (skirt type clothing is still worn by men all over the world - Southeast Asia, India, parts of the Middle East, the kilt etc), I wish we all would stop getting in our own way
Anthony Roberts 3 years ago (edited)
Truly Rob shall suck c***s in hell for eternity for his footwear transgressions.
Tessa Ross 2 years ago
High heel boots are the bomb! You get a little more ankle support too... ;)
#17
So I got three. So if a man ever interrupts me, I let him finish. Go for it. I don’t want to interrupt you because it’s not polite. And as soon as he finishes, I go ‘So as I was saying’ and just continue because my point was still valid, and I’ll also do this like if another woman is interrupted, I’ll be like ‘So as you were saying’. The next one is - I will not step out of the way of someone. You don’t own this world any more than I do. I’m going to keep walking with shoulders high, eyes forward. If you shoulder check me, that’s on you. I also will not apologize. This last one, this is where the subtlety kind of goes out the window. I handle all of the home projects for our house. My husband is just there to lift heavy stuff and look cute. But there have been a lot of times where we’ve been working with someone, and I will be asking the questions and they will be looking at my husband as if he’s talking. So I’ll just step in front of my husband until I have eye contact and then I’ll keep speaking.
zububonsai 3 years ago (edited)
How do you know my man and me? ☺️ He looks like a rock (Tom Hardy as Mad Max but a bit bulkier), speaks as much as Mad Max, looking cute as hell. He chops the wood, repairs everything electric, buys and carries all the groceries/shopping and brings the child from school and being a fantastic dad to all of his children. (He is very soft/pacifistic/non-violent summer flower, while I'm the combative Krav Maga girl). and I do like all the rest, manage all the appointments and dates, paint the flat... "His bouquet of flowers is the daily chopped wood basket."
Felicia Dale 3 years ago
I’m so happy for you and your family! Sounds like a great partnership. 🥰
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PandaGoPanda 3 years ago
I live in a country where being a woman and a foreigner is a double whammy for getting talked past. If my husband is with me I often have to either point out in no uncertain terms that it is I who asked the question or lean further and further across between the shop assistant/bank teller and my husband until they can no longer actually see him at all and are forced to look at the questioner (me).
Jo Choto 3 years ago
Looking forward to the world where we don't have to gender abilities, interests or jobs.
Ann Coffman 3 years ago
I don't mean this in a rude way, but it sounds like you've been reading some sci-fi, futuristic novels. (pls don't get me wrong, because I have and I think that a lot)
Load More Replies... jimmy pop 3 years ago
You don't step out of the way, the other one doesn't step out of the way, you bump into each other. That fault is on you as much as it is on the other person. You expect others to go out of the way but you won't ... that's no power move, that's a d**k move ;)
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
I agree. She contradicted herself when she said "you don't own this world anymore than I do." Well, that means she has to step out of the way or learn to communicate with strangers better to both agree which way each of you are stepping.
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SB 3 years ago
I do remodeling in sexist Utah. Whenever I try to hire something done they can't stand talking to a woman. My husband has to say "I don't know anything about it, ask her" and they still don't want anything to do with me. So I guess I'll be learning even more so that I don't have to hire anything done.
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
Occasionally, I speak with people in Utah. Now I know why it's difficult with them. Thank you.
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Seán Hannan 3 years ago
This whole not-moving-for-other-people thing is just rude, whether you're male or female.
Sarah Benedictus 3 years ago
it is men that do it all the damn time, have a word with them
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Eric Rossman 3 years ago
My wife and I split much of the home maintenance work. She and I together built a lovely wheelchair-accessible deck for our youngest, redid the tiling in our mudroom, built a shed, etc. Granted, I do more of the electrical work because I learned it early in life but she took the time to educate herself and is plenty handy.
#18
When a man is not nice to a non-man in my gym, I will follow him around and do his entire workout. But I’ll add 20 to 100 pounds to whatever it is that he’s doing. I’ll also make sure that he knows that he can just leave the bar loaded because I’m probably just going to warm up with that weight, even if I didn’t intend to do the workout on that day. I follow him around and I embarrass him. If he’s rude to one of my homies. Pushes me a little harder than I’m used to. And also just, you know, makes me feel better about myself. So party on.
April Stephens 3 years ago
Good point. Problem is, he might only harass women.
Load More Replies... Dyson Fey 3 years ago
Oh-no! Not a girl following him around in the gym! I don't think this kind of guy would get the hint. He'd convince himself you liked him 😒
DC 3 years ago
"She was so horny, she even was wet under her arms. HER ARMS - know what amount of juice that needs, and even a sufficient manipulation of gravity ... so damned horny, she was! She even lifted/pressed/whatevered my load plus some, to impress me ... so horny was she!"
Load More Replies... Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
Humiliation doesn't bring out the best in people. Maybe there's a better way to challenge them to be better people?
Nubis Knight 3 years ago
Just realized I'll have to start working out soon. I need to be able to do this. O.o
Els Meilink 3 years ago
At a very, very young age I already became aware of this. When someone would ask me what I wanted to be later on in life I’d alway pick a job that was ‘manly’. Just to break the stereotypical thinking of people and always got a surprised reaction. When I’d ask why it was strange, ‘can’t a woman do this?…’ I would leave them searching words and thinking, fantastic
Brafne Heiwer 3 years ago
"An eye for an eye makes the world blind" ...but then again, nobody follows the teachings of Gandhi and other philosophers anymore.
#19
See now how in a lot of structures in our society, male is the default setting for a lot of people, like when you say ‘Oh, that doctor, that lawyer, that whatever,’ people just kind of assume that they’re male. When I started realizing this, I was like, ‘That’s stupid, it shouldn’t be the default setting’. Clearly, all of these professions are filled with women, so any time I refer to someone in a place of power or a position of a career, I automatically gender it female. ‘Oh, have I told you about how great my orthodontist is now?’, ’How is she? Do you like her?’
Brendan Roberts 3 years ago (edited)
I'm ashamed to admit that, if someone is speaking about a professional person, I assume the person is male. In fact, my wife does the same. I think it's been ingrained into us.
Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
It absolutely has, Brendan. No one should feel ashamed because this is the environment we grew up in. However you can start to change how you speak, now that you are aware of this, and start to change the environment around us. It takes effort, and it's so easy to forget, but every time you manage it does make a difference.
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Parthania Dawson 3 years ago
I became aware of my tendency to think like this. I decided to go with the they/them references, though. "How are they?" "What do you think of them?" I like they/them. It's a kind of blank check when referencing a person.
Kanuli 3 years ago
Well in some languages we differ: lawyer in german is Anwalt or Anwältin. Doctor is Doktor or Doktorin. 😉
Daria B 3 years ago
Yep! That's why I don't think it's sexist to have gender grammar, it's just information. I do realise, however, that sometimes the problem occurs when you need it to be gender neutral, but oh well, there's a few solutions to that.
Load More Replies... anarkzie 3 years ago
It goes the other way as well though, on another story someone posted that their teacher was found to be a pervert, it did not even cross my mind that the teacher could have been female despite stories you hear about females teachers having affairs' with underage students.
Ann Coffman 3 years ago
True, but sadly we have the example of Epstein and Maxwell. And others. And in the news lately, several female teachers taking advantage of teen boys.
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Mia Hamsa 3 years ago
I do that too. People will stop, look at me shocked and say "It is a he actually" and I say "oh OK, my default gender is female". It also helps to refer to children and my child as My child, not my daughter or son. It removes a lot of buys when you refer to them in a non gender basis to other people.
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
If you’re using English, just… don’t gender it? Swinging the pendulum the other way isn’t exactly helpful.
not your average weirdo 3 years ago
I automatically assume jobs like personal trainer or scientist are gendered female, and things like parent are male. Hadn't noticed I did that until now.
#20
The first one is that whenever I’m addressing an envelope to a couple, I always put the woman’s name before the man’s name. The second one is that as an elementary school music teacher, sometimes in the classroom, I’ll need chairs or tables moved. And so I always ask, I need strong students to move this for me, and I always pick 50 percent or more girls, because girls are strong.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
That last one is so important. Just a couple years I heard "I need some strong men to carry those tables" from a second grade teacher. Way to reinforce stupid stereotypes.
elysse stands with the ukraine 3 years ago
My teacher says: "I need five strong boys or two strong girls!"
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De Gueb 3 years ago
Fine with me. I'm fed up being expect to fix things in my females neighbours houses. Last week one of my neighbours ask me to help her set up her phone, I ended up fixing to laps a faulty power socket. I wonder what would happen if I asked her round to do my ironing.
User# 6 3 years ago
Nothing wrong with asking someone for help if they have specific skills, though? I fix my friends car, she does my gardening.
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Enby.Minecraft.Bee. 3 years ago
"I nEeD SoMe StroNg BoYs tO caRry ThEsE TabLes" Screenshot...82c52b.png 
Robert Thompson 3 years ago
So you are sexist when addressing an envelope? Why, Because of Gender? Because somehow gender makes a difference? Do you feel that you are helping some one by doing this? Why does she need your help? Because of her gender?
Rachel Ainsworth 3 years ago
As a girl I was told I was addressing envelopes "wrong" by putting Mrs and Mr. The normal standard of Mr and Mrs is sexist.
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MissMePhoenix 3 years ago (edited)
I (31F) used to work at Kmart before they went out of business, and i worked layaway where I'd have to move large appliances, couches/bedroom furniture/dining room furniture, trampolines, etc from the floor to storage and from storage to loading people's cars. Just about every day I'd have someone ask me "why don't you get a MAN to do that?" And I'd alwayyyys quickly reply "Because i don't NEED a man to do this" and that shut them right up every time.
Hazel Gray 3 years ago
Whenever my teacher says "Okay, I need some big strong men to pick up these chairs" I immediately have to pick up like eight at once because I'm strong too >:(
Inclusion2020 3 years ago
I teach in a program for kids with behavioral issues. I’m telling you, of the few female students that I do have, they are stronger than the boys! I teach elementary school, and it is just so wild how early the gender misconceptions begin. The boys hate the color pink and assume that the girls like or don’t like certain things. Some of the boys would throw absolute fits if a girl beat him in a race…. I try to intentionally address these misconceptions. But they are deeply ingrained and these kids are only 10!
Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
When writing a letter at work, I always begin with, "Dear Madam or Sir".
Dyson Fey 3 years ago
Speaking from a medical and biological standpoint, men and women have similar lower body and core strength, but men have an advantage in upper body strength. Carrying chairs may not be the best example to have girls show off their strength. Maybe just have a battle of the sexes relay race😂 that'd be exciting to see who'd win
#21
Whenever I’m talking to a man and he says something about me that he like, doesn’t like, like something I’m wearing or like something that I do, or it’s something that somebody else does, specifically another woman, if he’s like ‘Oh, I don’t like when girls wear heels’ or ‘I don’t like girls that lift weights’, you know, something like that, I always just look at him and go ‘Oh, that’s OK’. And I always get the weirdest little looks because it’s subtle enough that he doesn’t want to get into an argument about it or defend himself about it. But it’s powerful enough that it makes them think about what he just said. You know what I mean? We’re not doing it for you, but it’s OK.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
My first tendency whenever someone says "I don't like girls who do this or that or wear so and so" is to IMMEDIATELY go and do exactly what they just said they didn't like. It goes both ways, I also hate it when people/women say "I don't like it when men~"
yeciye 3 years ago
OK, hear me out, I really don’t like it when girls transfer $1000000 to my bank account.
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Ann Coffman 3 years ago
Like, I KNOW!!! Eight "likes" in just the first sentence!
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John C 3 years ago
That last sentence highlights one huge difference in men vs women. "We're not doing it for you" - that's the truth! I've learned that women actually dress for each other, not to impress but to... for lack of a better word 'compete'. Men do not typically do this; we don't care. Be yourself and forget everybody else!
Lillukka79 3 years ago
I don't like people who say like, like 27 times in one sentence. That and saying you know after every word.
#22
When somebody tells me a story involving another person, as long as it is in a positive light, I assume ‘she’ is her pronouns. If a friend of mine says ‘I went to the doctor and got some really good news’ I’ll respond with ’Oh, what did she say? Or if somebody says ‘My kid’s principal did this really cool thing at the school the other day’ ‘Oh, that’s awesome. Good for her.’ Always assume ‘she/her’ pronouns, no matter what. As long as it’s positive.
Leslie 3 years ago (edited)
Try a gender neutral one, don't alienate all males. Like 'They', Assuming it's female is also sexist, assuming it's male is also sexist.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
This is not about alienating males. This is not "also" sexist. This is about redressing the balance for the hundreds of years where women were deliberately kept out of the workplace, out of positions of power, out of professional positions, out of tertiary education, and where it was assumed that EVERYONE who was in a position of respect or authority had to be male. This is redressing a terrible imbalance and challenging stereotypes. No men were actually hurt in the making of this concept.
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Dollie stands with ukraine 3 years ago
No, I don't think always assuming someone's pronouns is the right way to go. It seems kind of disrespectful in a way. Maybe try using a different power move?
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Don't you realize that practiaclyl everyone else constantly assumes the person being talked about is a "he"? She's just turning the assumption on its head.
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LONECOOLMAN 3 years ago
WHY PUT ANY GENDER ON THE ISSUE!? SAY WHAT DID THEY SAY OR WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY. SHEESH...SO MANY PEOPLE JUST LOOKING TO MAKE STRESS IN THEIR LIVES. LET IT GO! IN 20 YEARS YOU WON'T DEEM YOURSELF WORTHY BECAUSE YOU GOT UPSET AT A FOOLS WORDS.
MorgothBauglir 3 years ago (edited)
Why do you only do it when it's in a positive light? Do you always say "he" when it's in a negative light? So positive stories are female, and negative stories are male?
Upstaged75 3 years ago
When reading books to my niece and nephew my sister-in-law always asks me to make some of the characters female. One I used to read all the time was about construction vehicles. And of course all the trucks were male. So I would change some of the names and say SHE was a Digger, or whatever. Girls can like trucks too!
#23
Well, I work in the business world, corporate America specifically, and I have a pretty intense job that I work with a lot of men with. And growing up, my dad always told me, because he worked in corporate America, to have a super firm handshake. I noticed when I was in corporate America that men would always try to shake my hand just a little bit harder than I was. Shaking theirs to kind of assert a little bit of physical dominance over me. So now, whenever I shake a guy’s hand that I’m meeting in a business meeting, a new CEO, whatever it may be, I shake their hand for about two milliseconds, gauge how hard they’re shaking my hand and then I administer just a little bit more pressure than they have asserted upon me. And every single time.
Allan Miller 3 years ago
I prefer a fist bump, both for personal hygiene and because I have neuropathic pain in my hands. But I understand why you do this. I have had people (mostly men) shake my hand not firmly but hard, and it hurts.
Parthania Dawson 3 years ago
Let's just stop shaking hands. There's a lot to be said about bowing.
Brafne Heiwer 3 years ago
This has nothing to do with sexism, this is just how jerks handshake. A handshake should be firm and solid but not bone breaking.
John C 3 years ago
This is not a sexist thing; the people that do this do it to men and women alike - they're doing it to me too, not just you. It has nothing to do with you being a woman any more than it has to do with what you had for breakfast.
Ellie Rosser 3 years ago
Well, it has to do with the handshaker wanting to be the most manly man in the room so it kinda is.
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Becky Moore 3 years ago
North America, South America, Corporate America :P I'm glad I've never visited
Víctor García 3 years ago
I hate this kind of people. When someone do that i just use my squid hand. And look at they like "seriously"
Mia Hamsa 3 years ago
I stopped shaking hands ten years+ ago when started travelling around Bangladesh, South India for business and business people don't shake hands as default. The funny thing always is, that Western men get so unnerved and awkward when you take away their "power move" like that. Try it :P
#24
Whenever I feel like I’m dealing with a man who thinks he’s way cooler than me or smarter than me or whatever, he’s super arrogant, I have two tactics. The first tactic is when they are telling me THE fact, I feel like you know what I mean, every arrogant guy has THE fact. He busts out whether it’s about music or a movie or something that he thinks makes them sound really intelligent and cultured. Whenever they tell me this fact, I just respond with ‘Are you sure about that?’ And when they’re like ’Yeah, I’m sure, like, what do you mean am I sure, why?’ I just say ‘No reason, continue. It’s fine’. The second one is whenever they’re telling me about an idea they have that I can tell makes them feel way smarter than everybody else, I just go ’Do you tell people this? Like… Often?’
Jo Choto 3 years ago
When I was younger, a tall skinny blonde with big boobs, I cannot tell you how literally EVERYONE assumed I was dumb, mostly men but quite a few women too. Sooner or later, something would come up. Like when a guy slowed his voice right down to explain to me how a 16 foot kayak couldn't fit in a 5 x 15 foot storage locker. So I did a quick diagram and I demonstrated how a 16 foot kayak can fit along the diagonal corners hypotenuse of the locker with 6 inches to spare. And I told him very slowly. And like most people who treated me dumb, he said, "Gee, I had no idea you were so smart," (I don't think understanding how to calculate Pythagorean numbers is smart, but anyway), and I would always respond, "Hmm, well, that sounds like your problem, not mine."
ohjojo 3 years ago
As soon as you wrote couldn't fit in a 5x15 ft storage locker I was like, actually.....
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Teresa Horton 3 years ago
Then there's the old timey version... "You don't say?" followed by, "Have mercy!" and a shake of the head. Whistle if you have to, they have no idea. Sweet summer childs.
the annoying theatre kid 3 years ago
no cause usually they'll look up the fact and if they're right they're like HAHAHA I WAS RIGHT
#25
As a woman bartender, I do have a few of these stored up my sleeve. And one of my favorites is when a man is ordering his beer in like an aggressively manly way, right? Because there’s a difference between 'Hi, can I get a Bud Light?’ And 'yeah, give me a beer and a glass. Whatever. A Bud Light, I don’t put it in a glass. I’ll drink it.’ Oh man, Blah blah. Right? So when that type of guy orders his drink and he’s just really proving he’s a man I love responding with 'oh yeah, cute drink' or 'oh yeah, you’re fancy. Let me grab that for you' or 'oh love, here you go' Or if it’s Bud Light specifically 'oh yes, a rice beer, you got it' It leaves him feeling rattled. I’ll tell you that.
Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
Why do men think that beer is a manly drink and wine is "girly"? Are they not aware that wine is two-three times stronger in alcohol?
elSti 3 years ago
it's about the fruit! Fruitbeers are often considered as female. And where i live beer consumption includes as much heavy bears as just plain pale lager
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ZAPanda 3 years ago
I once had a guy tell me my cider (6,6% alc) was a 'girlie' drink. I turned his beer around and pointed to the 4,5% on his bottle and said, nah. You could see him shrink visibly.
Rene Simons 3 years ago
Bud light. They forget to put beer in that stuff. You might as well drink water.
Rijkærd 3 years ago (edited)
Am not into beer or wine...but man those liquers or whatever they are called ...the milky chocolatey coffee ones are just Kaboom!...i will have that and be sploshed faster than my friends having "single malt scotch, straight, 3 fingers blah blah.......them fruity flavoured ones are the ones that knock the s**t out of you before you know it....
Becky Moore 3 years ago
I couldn't give a rat's a**e about what anyone drinks, but I'm never sure why men think they're being 'manly' by drinking beer but then ask for light beer; it seems to be a bigger thing in America as in England light beer doesn't seem to be drunk as much. Surely if you were that manly calories wouldn't bother you. Beer guts wouldn't bother you. Nothing would bother you; you're a man after all!:P
Becky Moore 3 years ago
Why can't I say A R S E ? The censors have got way over the top on here
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Douglas Turner 3 years ago
Or, I don't know, we could take the word of the woman who actually shared her experience. But you keep on doubting, it's OK...
Load More Replies... #26
So let me preface this with my husband who loves me very much, and he’s very proud of the things I’ve accomplished. But because I have a doctorate, the formal way to address anything to us is this. So this is the formal and correct way to address us as Dr. and Mr. And you can see it there on that one too. So anyways, I saved these because I just love it and I’m proud of myself for it. But some of his friends have caught on to it too. And we’ll just get like random Christmas cards or whatever addressed like that too. So it’s all in good fun. He loves it, deep down.
Not Proud British 3 years ago
I still get letters addressed to Mr & Mrs and I hate it. I refuse to open them. I did not lose my entire name or identity when I got married and if they do not have the courtesy to address a letter to me by name, then they do not deserve my attention.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Be glad you are not in India. In some circles there it is the custom for the parent's-in-law to literally give the daughter-in-law a new first name. So she'll end up with a new first AND last name.
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Suzy the observer 3 years ago
Married women should keep their own names. Every time I see "The Smiths" I cringe. A marriage is TWO different beings.
Tenacious Squirrel 3 years ago
Easy - don’t get married! There’s none of this irrelevant nonsense to contend with then.
Load More Replies... Eb 3 years ago (edited)
Even worse in English-speaking cultures if you're unmarried - men become 'Mr' when they're adults, but women are still designated 'Miss' until they change ownership. Hate it.
ChimeraBubbles 3 years ago
That's why some women choose to be a Ms whether they are married or not. It confuses the hell out of some people. Especially institutions, they seem to have no way of acknowledging the difference e.g. on letters addressed to both people.
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Seedy Vine 3 years ago (edited)
I believe both married people should keep their last names. They're two whole separate people. No need for one of them to have an identity crisis because of love. In fact, I've lost touch with many female friends simply because they got married and changed their last name. Now I can't find them. I believe all this name-changing also makes missing women harder to find.
Dirk Daring 3 years ago
I'm going to tell on myself here... before I read this entry, I looked at the image, and my mind automatically read it as "Doctor and Mrs. Dabbs". Looks like I've got some internal work to do.
Eppe 3 years ago
I know a number of people with doctorates (male and female) and none of them would dream of insisting to be addressed like that. May be a cultural thing. By the way, my own official title is 'De weledelgeleerde heer Doctorandus' but you guys can keep calling me Eppe.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
Ik vind je titel leuk . I worked with a german once who wanted Mr Dr Professor. It was hilarious. PS - NL or Belgium?
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Melissa Hollowell 3 years ago
I got exactly one item address to Mr. and Mrs. Him. I refused to open it as it is illegal to open someone else's mail and I never took his last name.
Sophia Athene 1 year ago
I have a doctorate and my husband does not but here's my problem. Let's call my husband John Smith. We get "Mr. and Dr. John Smith" on an assortment of mail. Are you kidding me?!?!? Even the school that granted me the doctorate sent me my 1st piece of post-grad mail with that name address. They are capable of addressing me and my husband separately on the one piece of mail b/c I gave them an earful and every piece has arrived for 15 years with "Dr. Sophia Athene-Smith and Mr. John Smith."
Tessa Ross 2 years ago
Wives are now more educated than husbands anyway. Simple fact is we have surpassed them.
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
Awww I love this and very well deserved and diplomatic, respectable statement.
#27
I don’t know if this is a feminist power move or not, but it certainly is a great tip. If you are a woman with a lot of male-dominated hobbies or you find yourself having a lot in common with men, you can accidentally interact with really toxic men. But I do have a foolproof method of getting those men to show themselves early on when you’re getting to know him. If he points out that you guys have a lot in common say ‘Yeah, we do. What’s your star sign?’ He’ll react one of three ways, he’ll either say ‘Actually, I don’t really know’ and just tell you his birthday. Green flag. If he just answers the question - green flag. If he goes on a rant telling you how stupid that star thing is and he can’t believe someone like you like something like that - boo. Red Flag. A man worth your time will at least have the decency to be respectful to you, even if you don’t have exactly the same hobbies. You don’t even have to like astrology for this to work. It could be any girly thing.
Not Proud British 3 years ago
Tbf if someone asked me what my star sign was, I wouldn't tell them. Not to be disrespectful but I wouldn't want them thinking I believed that crap and neither would I want to give them the green light to start telling me what they believe my personality is based on a friggin' star sign.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
You could also tell them and mention that you, personally, don't believe in astrology.
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MiriPanda 3 years ago
This is idiotic. I can't take people who believe in that star sign crap seriously, be that a man or a woman. I answer any question about my star sign with "groundhog" or "artichoke".
Timothy Peterson 3 years ago
It's sort of offensive, assuming that Astrology is a 'girly' thing. Men can be stupid too.
Olga Aftyka 3 years ago
To be honest I (F) might be the one to respond with "that's a load of crap". or maybe if I was in a great mood and tried to be extra polite I would just loled. Because that is load of crap
Kanuli 3 years ago
Ok. So the rant is the red flag? To me it depends how it went on from there, coz I saw the opposite happening: I answer the star sign thing, and she goes on a rant about all that astrology crap, how important, how much she already knows now, and so on. And that would be a giant red flag for me. On the other hand it might already be half a red flag to even ask this question, as it points out your interest in something I totally can’t/won’t believe (unless we go at it scientifically and try to calculate the effects of cosmic rays on the human body or similar). So congratulations, you made yourself less interesting to me :) P.S.: if it was clear on the upcoming discussion that she in fact is totally not interested in astrology, I would question why she asked this in the first place I guess and thus it would plant a first stone of mistrust already. Why can’t people just be honest? This is kinda like playing games with eachother.
deadinside 3 years ago
i feel like it's neither. i personally don't believe in it but i find it interesting. the rant is a red flag because it's just anger out of nowhere
Load More Replies... Ashley Schriber 3 years ago
What if someone just mildly says, "Oh, I don't put much stock in that" or something? I don't we always need to pretend to agree with people in order to be considered respectful.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
It's the rant that is the red flag. The response you're giving as an example is great.
Load More Replies... ZAPanda 3 years ago
Yeah sorry you can redflag me as much as you want, but I always decline that question. It boxes people. "Oh you are a scorpio? That means you are grumpy." no thanks. Next you'll assume I'm this or that because of skin colour or gender. It's just as bad.
Anony Mouse 3 years ago
But when someone asks me my star sign, I'm like "Immediate red flag. Look for nearest escape route."
Katchen 3 years ago
Same! I wish there were a polite way to say, “I don’t have a star sign because I don’t believe in astrology.” It blows my mind that anyone who doesn’t also believe the world is flat could put stock in astrology.
Load More Replies... #28
When I ask a man a question, as soon as he answers me, I say ‘Are you sure?’ And then I google it right in front of them. I address all correspondence to married people as Mrs. and Mr. Cameron Clyne. If a man tells me he’s interested in a topic, I say something really obvious about that topic and then pretend I’m teaching him some kind of state secret. I always frame acknowledgement of a man’s accomplishments through the lens of being surprised he was competent enough to do it. I encroach on men’s personal space in public and pretend I’m oblivious to the situation. If I see a man doing something, I approach him and ask ‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing?’ If a man asks me to do something for him, I ask him to start the task for me, and then I ask him for really obvious help at every stage of the task. And when the task is finished, I act like I’ve done the entire thing myself and I expect praise. When a man tries to interrupt me while I’m busy and make me listen to him, I finish what I’m doing. When I stop, I make eye contact with him and confidently say ‘I was busy, so I wasn’t listening to you’. You’re going to need to repeat yourself. I don’t say ‘thank you’ to compliments from men. I just agree with them. I use the word ‘no’ as a full sentence. And then when a man asks me to justify why I said no, I say that sentence again. When I greet a couple, I make eye contact with and greet the woman first and begin speaking to her. And I will not address the man or make eye contact with him or even acknowledge him unless he’s introduced to me. I won’t offer men help unless they ask and then I act like I don’t want to do it and I get up and help, but I complain the whole time and make the entire task really unpleasant for everybody. When a couple has a baby, I assume the father is going to quit his job to stay home and raise it. I introduce men as so-and-so’s boyfriend, so and so’s son always in relation to the woman that I know closest to them. Never addressed, here’s John. I’m sorry, sir, did the middle of my sentence barge in on the beginning of yours again? In any situation where you would typically say ’Ladies and gentlemen, I just say ‘ladies’, I only give men thoughtless generic gifts, and if they don’t like it, I act like they’re ungrateful. I like to invalidate a man’s feelings by pretending I’m too incompetent to understand them. When men get upset, I tell them that they’re not capable of rational or logical thought while they’re so emotional and to talk to me again when they’re calm and in control of themselves. I tell men that their college degrees don’t actually make them an expert in their field.
Anyone-for-tea? 3 years ago (edited)
I don't get this one, why act like a toxic man? Not everyone is comfortable in social situations and they may forget to introduce people to others, or feel awkward. I'm sure I'm in a minority if I say I've had lessons on how to make introductions!
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Yeah, agreed. Only do this to people who've acted like that first. Why make perfectly normal and decent people feel bad about themselves for no reason?
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Laura 3 years ago
Nobody here understands sarcasm? She laying out all the things women have dealt with. She’s turning the tables and flipping the script to make a point. Obviously not actually saying she does these herself all the time. Come on people
IDK_Something 3 years ago
At first I was annoyed, but as it kept going with a lot of the issues women-identifying people are subjected to quite often, I was in tears laughing lol
Load More Replies... Kel_how 3 years ago
This is unhealthy behavior. Not all men are terrible, sexist pricks. And not all women are wonderful. I think we should treat people based on the behavior they show and the things they say. And we should be respectful regardless; not door mats or willing to compromise our boundaries, but showing common decency. Be fierce when necessary, but don't be an a*****e to make a point.
Terese 3 years ago
It’s sarcasm to illustrate the point of how relentless the sexism that women deal with is. It also illustrates how selfish we’ve trained men to be since a lot of “good” men do many of these things without seeing any harm done.
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 3 years ago (edited)
Holy run-on sentence Batman! It's obviously sarcasm, but that's way too much text in a giant block for me to read. Paragraphs are your friend!
Larry Sanguinetti 3 years ago
Further emphasizing just how much crap women typically have to deal with.
Load More Replies... Douglas Turner 3 years ago
This really deserves to be higher, because it lays out all the crap women have to deal with every day, It is entirely possible that if you don't ;get' this post you are part of the problem.
User# 6 3 years ago
Well, apparently I'm part of the problem then, because I consider whoever acts as this post describes to be a thoroughly unpleasant person, whatever gender they are.
Load More Replies... Elin Noller 3 years ago
It is. It is pointing out how shitty men behaves towards women.
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MikariMartini 3 years ago
It is obviously sarcasm! Flip the pronouns He for She and Her for Him and you get the kind of behavior women (in general) tolerate every day. It is not Everybody Every time but it is the norm and often unseen by both genders, it is so ingrained. Awareness is the first step to Change!
Stephanie IV 3 years ago
Why, though? I’ve never cared about what a man thinks or feels when talking or dealing with me. I communicate as the situation dictates and then I’m off on my merry way.
De Gueb 3 years ago
I hope I never have to train anybody like you. I don't get a lot of female tech's when I do I treat them exactly the same. Part of life's journey is picking up knowledge and sharing knowledge. Not just about are work, in my case technical. stuff. Learning about people, their stories, about history, science..... Knowing when to listen and when to speak, knowing who to listen to and who to speak to is probably the most important skill we will learn but never perfect.
What do you think ?
Eb 3 years ago (edited)
After 30+ years working in corporate culture rooted in masculine gendering, my tip for women is be aware of feminine-gendered behaviours and stop doing them at work. Pauses are power: don't rush to fill a silence. Let people feel bad if they need to. Smile only when it's natural, not to placate or flatter. Wear shoes you feel comfortable in; uncomfortable shoes drain energy you could use for work. If someone makes a sexist comment, pause, look at them directly and say 'that's not OK'. Say no if you mean no. If you need help or to leave for family commitments, be direct about it - don't apologise or make up an excuse. In other words, manage your own boundaries and be authentic. None of that stops you from being courteous. My tip for men is to treat everyone as people first.
Josy Bannon 3 years ago
Don't apologize in general. I apologize for everything all the time. My partner even keeps saying I should stop apologizing, but I can't! Sorry!
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Dyson Fey 3 years ago
Apparently some of these women read the wrong feminist manual. I think they read "How to be a Toxic B*tch" instead of "How to Assert Yourself and Still Have the Moral High Ground"
HalfFinnishedAustralian 3 years ago
Well, the last one is definitely sarcasm.
Load More Replies... Nubis Knight 3 years ago
I have some male students (mostly from strong patriarch cultures) that find it funny to ashame fellow female students by speaking about sexual themes that belittle women (pornos etc.) Whenever this happens I start speaking about menstrual related themes, shuts them of immediatly.
Tiredofpayingforothers 3 years ago
Many of these are not specific to women. The arrogant jerks doing these things could care less if it's a woman or another man. These women just think it's because they are a woman, when in reality, the person is just a narcissistic a*****e who does it to everyone. You don't think I haven't had other people, men and women alike who haven't tried talking condescending to me? You don't think I haven't had men and women alike interrupt me while I'm talking? Them people are just assholes, period, gender has nothing to do with it.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
I think you are wrong there. Arrogant jerks have their preferred victims, like all bullies. People they view as weaker than them or who they assume won't fight back. There is a reason abusive men target women as victims more often than other men.
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Jarrod Nichols 3 years ago
Let me just say, men of quality don't fear equality. I never cease to be horrified by my fellow humans. Other men in particular seem to have a high percentage of jerks.
Daniel Marsh 3 years ago
I expected my eyeballs to roll to the back of my head, but actually, I would whole-heartedly endorse most of them, (at least the top ones I've read). (Not that you need my endorsement for validation ;-) )
GirlFriday 3 years ago
I work in a male-dominated company and am often the only woman at the table. I have a name that can be used for a male or female and when newcomers show up at meetings, they will often shake the hand of my assistant Don and say, "Oh you must be [name]" and some other niceness, and when Don says, "No, she is," and points to me, their faces fall because they realize the mistake they just made. Then they try to act like it never happened or wasn't a big deal. I just smile and say, "well, I hope you like working with me, too because I am heading up this project."
Loty 3 years ago
I don't even bother with any post longer than a few sentences. I'm not interested in your life story.
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Phil Vaive 3 years ago
I'm all for feminism, and I'm all about taking down toxic masculinity, but listicles like this really grind my gears. Treating someone badly or making assumptions about them just because of their gender isn't ok. That's not what feminism is about, and I honestly didn't think that was what Boredpanda was about, either.
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Linda Lee 3 years ago
When i would get upset, or rattled about anything, my ex boyfriend would tell me, "just like a woman". Then he would try to say that was a compliment but he did not mean it that way. One night he was going on and on about the non working ceiling fan but we couldn't do anything about it until the next day. I told him to quit bitching. He threateningly said, "What did you say!" I repeated myself. Then he went on talking about the ceiling fan! I said, "just like a woman." Yes, I felt his wrath but it was so worth it.
PaintHat 3 years ago
It doesn't sound like he respects you or treats you right :(
Load More Replies... Eb 3 years ago (edited)
After 30+ years working in corporate culture rooted in masculine gendering, my tip for women is be aware of feminine-gendered behaviours and stop doing them at work. Pauses are power: don't rush to fill a silence. Let people feel bad if they need to. Smile only when it's natural, not to placate or flatter. Wear shoes you feel comfortable in; uncomfortable shoes drain energy you could use for work. If someone makes a sexist comment, pause, look at them directly and say 'that's not OK'. Say no if you mean no. If you need help or to leave for family commitments, be direct about it - don't apologise or make up an excuse. In other words, manage your own boundaries and be authentic. None of that stops you from being courteous. My tip for men is to treat everyone as people first.
Josy Bannon 3 years ago
Don't apologize in general. I apologize for everything all the time. My partner even keeps saying I should stop apologizing, but I can't! Sorry!
Load More Replies... Dyson Fey 3 years ago
Apparently some of these women read the wrong feminist manual. I think they read "How to be a Toxic B*tch" instead of "How to Assert Yourself and Still Have the Moral High Ground"
HalfFinnishedAustralian 3 years ago
Well, the last one is definitely sarcasm.
Load More Replies... Nubis Knight 3 years ago
I have some male students (mostly from strong patriarch cultures) that find it funny to ashame fellow female students by speaking about sexual themes that belittle women (pornos etc.) Whenever this happens I start speaking about menstrual related themes, shuts them of immediatly.
Tiredofpayingforothers 3 years ago
Many of these are not specific to women. The arrogant jerks doing these things could care less if it's a woman or another man. These women just think it's because they are a woman, when in reality, the person is just a narcissistic a*****e who does it to everyone. You don't think I haven't had other people, men and women alike who haven't tried talking condescending to me? You don't think I haven't had men and women alike interrupt me while I'm talking? Them people are just assholes, period, gender has nothing to do with it.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
I think you are wrong there. Arrogant jerks have their preferred victims, like all bullies. People they view as weaker than them or who they assume won't fight back. There is a reason abusive men target women as victims more often than other men.
Load More Replies... Jarrod Nichols 3 years ago
Let me just say, men of quality don't fear equality. I never cease to be horrified by my fellow humans. Other men in particular seem to have a high percentage of jerks.
Daniel Marsh 3 years ago
I expected my eyeballs to roll to the back of my head, but actually, I would whole-heartedly endorse most of them, (at least the top ones I've read). (Not that you need my endorsement for validation ;-) )
GirlFriday 3 years ago
I work in a male-dominated company and am often the only woman at the table. I have a name that can be used for a male or female and when newcomers show up at meetings, they will often shake the hand of my assistant Don and say, "Oh you must be [name]" and some other niceness, and when Don says, "No, she is," and points to me, their faces fall because they realize the mistake they just made. Then they try to act like it never happened or wasn't a big deal. I just smile and say, "well, I hope you like working with me, too because I am heading up this project."
Loty 3 years ago
I don't even bother with any post longer than a few sentences. I'm not interested in your life story.
Load More Replies... Phil Vaive 3 years ago
I'm all for feminism, and I'm all about taking down toxic masculinity, but listicles like this really grind my gears. Treating someone badly or making assumptions about them just because of their gender isn't ok. That's not what feminism is about, and I honestly didn't think that was what Boredpanda was about, either.
Load More Replies... Linda Lee 3 years ago
When i would get upset, or rattled about anything, my ex boyfriend would tell me, "just like a woman". Then he would try to say that was a compliment but he did not mean it that way. One night he was going on and on about the non working ceiling fan but we couldn't do anything about it until the next day. I told him to quit bitching. He threateningly said, "What did you say!" I repeated myself. Then he went on talking about the ceiling fan! I said, "just like a woman." Yes, I felt his wrath but it was so worth it.
PaintHat 3 years ago
It doesn't sound like he respects you or treats you right :(
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