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“Ruined His Career Over A Pair Of Airpods”: 30 Of The Stupidest Ways People Ruined Their Lives
Having free will is amazing. You can decide what career you want to pursue, who you want to spend your life with, where you want to settle down, or choose not to settle down at all! But with great power comes great responsibility, and sadly, we sometimes make choices that we can never take back.
Redditors have recently been sharing devastating stories of people that they’ve watched ruin their lives, so we’ve gathered some of the most painful accounts below. Let these tales serve as a reminder to make decisions that you’ll be proud of, rather than haunted by, and be sure to upvote the most heartbreaking stories of self-sabotage.
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#1
**My younger brother broke up with a girl he liked...because she farted in her sleep**.
He was telling my older brother and I that he was in the midst of a miserable dry spell. And how he'd been seeing a girl he liked but then she farted in her sleep and he was so grossed out because "there are some things you don’t need to see your SO doing. It just felt like the mystery was gone.”
My older bro was like “yeah, cause that’s what the mystery was about, farting.”
I called younger bro a “f*****g moron” and older bro was like “you’re half right.”
**EDIT:** When he said "you're half right" he meant my younger brother may be a moron, but he ain't f*****g.
CertifiedCatServant (he/him) 1 year ago
I’m in tears at the, “you’re half right” part!!
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Panda Bear 1 year ago
If that dude can’t get over the fact that women have normal bodily functions he doesn’t deserve a girlfriend
Just_for_this 1 year ago
I love that OP realised that the edit explanation was probably necessary for some people🤣
Saphyre Fyre 1 year ago
The moron has a lonely life ahead, if nobody is allowed to fart in its presence.
RELATED:
#2
Meeeee! I was so f*****g in love with this man, but I have a drinking problem (I don’t get sloppy, or mean, most people can’t even tell, but it affects my health)
He told me if he found another hidden bottle squirreled away, we were done.
But… we were going up to visit his family for a month. I REALLY wanted his family to love me, and I’m MUCH more bubbly and personable when I drink.
So…. Naturally, he found a hidden bottle, while we were on the trip. Promptly dumped me.
I wanted his family to love me SO BAD, because I wanted to be part of that family forever…. And instead, I lost it all.
Alcohol is the devil, kids.
Sergy Yeltsen 1 year ago
I can guarantee you are NOT "much more bubbly and personable" when you drink. Oh, and trust me - people can tell when you have been drinking.
SweetCheesySpaghetti 1 year ago
I read this comment and immediately thought of a friend of mine. She thinks she's a much more fun and outgoing person when she drinks, but really she's obnoxious and embarrassing. And we can always tell. We've tried telling her she should try to get some help. She yells that she doesn't have a problem. When she gets REALLY drunk, she'll flip out saying "everyone knows I'm an alcoholic but no one will get me any help." It's exhausting.
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SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
If you're hiding alcohol? That's a big huge sign of alcoholism right there, if it wasn't a problem? You wouldn't have to hide your alcohol ... And as others have said? Yes, people can tell. Even if you brush your teeth, use mouthwash, have a full on shower and use half a bottle of perfume? They can still smell the alcohol coming from you. If you want to get sober from alcohol? You MUST talk to medical professionals about it all because sudden alcohol withdrawal is very dangerous and can kill you. There's medication that you can take to help you to gradually come off it but you've GOT to be completely open and honest about your alcohol intake, how much, what % of alcohol, what type, everything with the medical professionals.
Vix Spiderthrust 1 year ago
Alcohol is not the devil. Many, many people have perfectly healthy relationships with alcohol. Blaming the substance for your behaviour will not help you on the road to recovery. Trust me, I've seen it before.
Sue User 1 year ago
This. I drink occosionally. Like one drink every three months. Yet twice i have had people lecture me on the dangers of alcohol when i decribe my drinking habits as " social drinking". Thats how it starts , they say. Yes, and for me, thats how it ends. I sympathise with their struggles but they are not my struggles.
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KimB 1 year ago
I come from a very long line of hereditary alcoholics. I have a very high tolerance for alcohol and I can feel what it does to me and I quite frankly don't enjoy it if I have more than one or two drinks. I enjoy a good wine with certain foods or an occasional ice cold beer on a hot summer evening, but to get up every morning and have to gag down a drink to stop the shakes just never appealed to me. You can break the cycle if you come from this environment. You can take it or leave it. Just leave it. :)
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
Sorry for another reply but not all alcoholics are falling down drunk all the time and/or violent... It's called being - A Functional Alcoholic. It's in no way excusing it btw. It's... They work full time, attend appointments etc, can be generally relied upon to turn up on time... Which unfortunately makes it harder for them to think, "Do I need help? I'm doing okay..." but you're not really doing okay and do need help, support.
jean48thompson 1 year ago
The tragedy is that you are enough, without the prop up of drink. But the sadness is, you need to realise this and you are not there yet. Keep going. The future''s not written for you yet. Love and good luck.
#3
My best friend and hetro-lifemate. Early 30s w/ wife. kids. great job and lots of friends. He was always looking for inventive ways to party. He figured out that you could order dried poppy pods online, grind them up and make poppy tea. This stuff is STRONG. 4/6 ounces will have you floating on a cloud for 24 hrs. Dosages kept going up over the next 10 yrs. until he couldn't physically drink enough fluid to maintain his habit. Lost his wife, kids and then his 3rd generation family business job.
Then he switch to h****n. Living in a half million dollar home with no power or water. Junkies everywhere. When he OD'ed, they stuffed his body in a closet for 3 days so they could burn through his credit and debit cards before reporting it to the police. Now his family is fighting squatters who have destroyed his home. I miss him everyday/.
Guigsy Gwiggins 1 year ago
Her0in, c0caine, we3d, spe3d, drügs. Ridiculous. Everyone knows these words. Sheer absurdity treating adults as kids and trying to shield people from the real world. Deluded
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jean48thompson 1 year ago
Absolutely tragic for this poor man, but also shows how d***s turned his "friends" into uncaring zombies.
MyCatsTheRealPanda 1 year ago
The people you use with are not your "friends". I know from experience. Specifically if you are one that has something they can benefit from. That is all you are, a means to an end. Once you don't have that anymore your "friendship" is gone. Don't get me wrong you can meet people in active addiction and once you're both sober you could possibly be friends but when you are this far into an addiction you are barely able to maintain living, forget a true friendship.
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Tracy Wood 1 year ago
That's terrible,my heart hurts for his family&friends that are left behind&am so sad for how things turned out for him.So,so sad😔
#4
I have a friend, I’ll call him Jay, smart as heck but maybe a little on the spectrum so clueless as to social things. But he made great money in tech. One day he’s at a friends house and the friend said something to the effect of “nobody could bug my house without me knowing”, so Jay thought it would be funny to put a spare webcam he happened to have in his backpack in his friend’s entertainment center, plugged into his Xbox, just to see how long it took him to notice. Well the friend didn’t notice, but his friend’s girlfriend did, and thought the friend had been recording them having sex, so she called the cops. The cops arrested the friend. Jay hears about it and goes in to explain. He didn’t think he needed a lawyer, he figured the cops would be able to see it was just a dumb misunderstanding.
Thing is, in my state, placing a recording device in someone’s home without their consent is voyeurism, which is a sex crime. And Jay just admitted, to the cops, on the record, that he had done so. Also in my state, it’s a law that all sex crimes MUST be prosecuted, so even tho Jay’s friend and his friends girlfriend didn’t want to press charges, Jay still got prosecuted.
The prosecutor and judge were as gentle as they could be but he was still convicted. Now as a registered sex offender (for life) he has trouble finding and keeping work, gets harassed by neighbors, can’t go to most of his kids sports events, etc. All over one seemingly harmless prank.
Lexekon 1 year ago
CONTEXT DETAIL: He plugged the camera into his friend's Xbox, not a PC, or other storage / transmission device. At most, this would have caused an LED to light up, no actual recording or transmission took place. The camera just had the same power you get if you plugged it in to a phone charger. It was literally a non-functional prop, which should not have been prosecuted except for poorly worded legal terms.
MR 1 year ago
If with poorly worded legal terms, the fact it wasn't recording means a good lawyer would get this tossed. It's not a recording device if it's not, you know, recording.
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Bobby 1 year ago
Lifetime SO registry for a first time offense in the USA is limited to crimes with physical contact. Even crimes against children don't carry this restriction if no physical contact is made. If this even happened, which I doubt, he wouldn't have to register for life.
vicmoo2024 1 year ago
Until 2021, South Carolina required sex offenders to register for life no matter what the charges were. Since the Supreme Court declared it unconstitutional. There were other states with the same policy, idk if those states have changed their laws yet or not.
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Marnie 1 year ago
This is horrifying! Truly. On a side note, nobody is "a little on the spectrum". You have Autism Spectrum Disorder or you do not. (You are autistic or you are not.) Is green "a little on the color spectrum"? Is blue more on the spectrum than red is? Please stop using non-sensical slang when talking about autism.
Mike F 1 year ago
It's fashionable. Kinda like self diagnosed OCD, or "it's my bi-polar coming out".
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AnonymousApple 1 year ago
One of many problems with sex offender registries. Not that they don't serve a purpose, but there are a LOT of people on them who honestly shouldn't be, and it ruins lives.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
This never should have been able to be prosecuted and makes me question the story because even a mediocre and rookie defender should have been able to prove it wasn't recording or capable of recording anything.
Matthew Savestheworld 1 year ago
People think Sex Offender means habitual child molester but laws have been expanding so that it covers an unbelievable variety of offenses and circumstances, And attaches lifetime restrictions that do not make sense, but it keeps happenig because who isnt for stopping sex offenders.
Tommy DePaul 5 months ago
An adolescent who sends a n**e pic of themselves is guilty of distributing child pornography. Think about that.
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#5
I had a very close friend whose wife, out of the blue, suddenly asked to open the marriage. This friend hated the idea but said yes anyway. Result: divorce, messy and angry and messing up all three of their kids.
The point of contention was that he wound up finding a very compatible side-partner himself and his wife apparently was shocked to discover he was swinging just as happily as she was. Apparently her expectation was that he'd never be able to find a girlfriend so she (the wife) would have her side-piece *and* her husband all to herself. Wife was jealous, and angry, and eventually demanded they un-open the marriage because she didn't like him being with other partners while she was with other partners. Thankfully at this point he finally saw things for what they are and they divorced. Wrecked his life for years, though.
Moral of the story: polygamy is complicated and not something to rush into just because you've hit your midlife crisis. Also don't agree to open your damn marriage if you don't really want that.
Roman Spruce 1 year ago
Yep, this only works of both partners are 100% on board and they set clear boundaries.
Bobby 1 year ago
Yup. If you're thinking about this and you haven't had any experience with swinging or open relationships, you and your partner joining a (swinging) lifestyle group on Facebook or something and interacting with those people for a bit before doing anything can a good starting point.
Load More Replies... White Sauce Hot Sauce 1 year ago
Whoever asks to open an already established marriage already has someone in mind.
Andy Frobig 1 year ago
And isn't likely to want the other partner to find anyone
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SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
Once again, play stupid games, end up with nasty sh*t in your life. I hope the friend and kids are doing better and I hope that miserable excuse of an ex is now languishing in sorrow whilst in-between partners or something of the sort. Sheeesh!!!
#6
One of my former friends from college worked as an analyst for a pretty big investment bank. He did NOT handle covid and isolation well and got really into conspiracy theories and became a straight up racist. When he returned to office he refused to work with anyone with dark skin, muslims or women he deemed inferior to his intellect. This did not go well with his boss who was a second generation somali immigrant, and a muslim, and a woman….. he was fired and he still doesnt have found another job in the same League.
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
He was always like that. Covid and the isolation eroded his social skills so he couldn’t hide it anymore.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
I don't think that he suddenly "became racist, sexist etc"... It's just that now he had an 'excuse' to express his formerly hidden views.
Nicky Shrimps 1 year ago
Probably did not "become" a racist. Most likely let their racist self show.
HighNMightyBigshot 1 year ago
He had first hand experience with a person that encompassed every one of those “inferior” groups ignored this and chose to believe the myths that white people created to justify and excuse their crimes against humanity
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
Sounds like he got what he deserved.. and human garbage like Joe Rogan and Matt Walsh score another victory
#7
Friend of a friend got caught in one of those "to catch a predator" style stings. Was messaging with what he thought was a 14 year old and tried to meet up to have sex.
Lost his wife, all his friends, his apprenticeship, and spent the next several years in prison.
SleepyBunny 1 year ago
People who commit crimes like these NEED to be in prison a lot longer and keep like on a watch list. So many of these criminals only get like 10 ish years, and then released, some may change but I bet a lot of them after while starting returning to their crimes. I was a victim of this when I was younger, I HATE these people.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
You've got a small army of people behind you now though if you ever need us... I completely understand your hatred ***gentle hugs if okay to***
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weatherwitch 1 year ago
He wanted to and tried to have sex with a 14 years old Child. I'm glad he was caught
SBocker78 1 year ago
I bet Chris Hanson never gets invited to surprise parties.
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Jenna Kay 1 year ago
Had a co-worker get caught when he showed up to meet with what he thought was a young teen. He said he was going to "talk her out of doing things like this," but the officers said evidence in his car proved otherwise. My whole office was so shocked and hurt. He had been given great work opportunities, had a beautiful home, had sole custody of his young son whom he worked so hard to provide for and give a great life to ... and in one drunken night, he lost everything and everyone.
SilverSkyCloud 1 year ago
at that point i'd wonder if he tried to do stuff to his child
Load More Replies... Jeremy Porter 1 year ago
Why would kids like that be on apps looking for older guys to shag? Uhhhh....no.
#8
Some guy at work was caught red handed stealing airpods from the locker room. When he was sent to pick up his own kit before being sent home he excused himself to go to the toilet, and took a s**t on the floor.
The kicker is that we work on an oil rig. It's impossible to get away with theft, and he was a senior technician making really good money. He didn't need the airpods he was just stealing for the fun of it.
He's now "not required back", and all the companies talk to each other. He sh*t away his career over a pair of airpods.
Manana Man 1 year ago
Sometimes stealing is an obsession/addiction/illness. Not trying to excuse it, just explain how a person could be so self-destructive.
Vicki Perizzolo 1 year ago
so many business 'talk to each other' and yet people can't seem to grasp that. it's especially true in Insurance and work comp.. don't think they haven't already checked... because they have even tho legally they aren't supposed to. it's waaaay easier than you'd think
#9
My neighbor across the street had 4 kids in 6 years with a boyfriend in an attempt to get him to stick around/pay attention to her. Now she’s single and living with her mom and grandma is raising the kids alone while she goes out and tries to find a new boyfriend. Is having a boyfriend really worth ruining your life?
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
The more I read, the happier I am that I've been single the last forty years. I was of the mindset that I would never have kids unless I could provide a decent start in life for them. And I didn't.
Neffla 1 year ago
Same! Knew I wasn't mentally stable enough to raise children the way they deserve to be raised until I was in my forties (after 10 years of therapy etc) and by then realised I was asexual anyway. My late mother was abusive in every way possible and I was terrified I'd turn into her. Obviously this never happened but still glad I didn't impose my CPTSD and major depressive disorder on any children. My DNA stops with me! Now I'm well I'm considering fostering though.
Load More Replies... SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
Speaking as a guy, no it is not. I had the same mindset previously as my bros were hooking up left and right but now I take my feet off the accelerator with regards to that mindset and enjoy the company I have while still finding my self (journey is still ongoing but I have a feeling I'll get there soon).
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
Being single has been wonderful for me, I do what I want when I want, have good and valued friendships, and am having a ball. I regret nothing. if romance happens that's great, but it can be great either way.
Load More Replies... Danish Susanne 1 year ago
If he didn't pay attention to her before she got pregnant, why would he start when she had her hands full of baby/babies?
Laura Frost 4 weeks ago (edited)
Did she actually tell you that's why she had 4 kids or did you just apply that narrative to her? I guess its always the single mum's fault, not the guy who abandoned his kids. Seems made up to say the nan is raising the kids while she's out looking for a boyfriend. Where is she all day looking for a boyfriend? Is there a place you can go looking for them that you can just hang around for hours on end? Or has she just been on a few dates and you've judged her for it because you think she should stay single and never meet anyone because she has 4 kids?
Mare Freed 1 year ago
My niece had 3 kids with 3 different baby-daddies trying to do the same thing. Now she's single with 3 kids, no BF, no husband.
Vicki Perizzolo 1 year ago
if she'd gotten her tubes tied to begin with -- or better yet, he had...
#10
Recent example, guy was a doctor and now cannot work because he hit his wife while they were getting divorced
I don’t know the specifics of it but the domestic violence offence on his record is prohibiting him from working in medicine.
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
Yeah, there’s more going on here than he hit her once, despite what he’s telling you. It takes a lot more than that to lose your medical license. Even first time domestic violence perpetrators usually get diverted to a program, especially if they can pay for it.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
There needs to be more information provided for this one. I don't like it when people start talking about a situation that they were not personally involved in nor witnessed themselves. A DV or Assault conviction does stay on your record in the UK. You have to declare any convictions whenever you apply for a job, any job, even if you didn't go to prison... My violent ex now has two convictions for physical assault on his record so his chances of ever getting a decent job are practically nil... Oh well. What a shame. Btw? I only found out about his previous conviction for assault when the court cases were going on. He attacked a guy in almost exactly the same way that he attacked myself.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 year ago
This would not permanently affect your medical license in the US. Most of the time you get sent to some sort of mandatory treatment program far away from where you practice. Then are required to jump through whatever hoops the physician’s health program or board wants. Usually counseling and anger management. Maybe random d**g tests. You start practicing again sometime during all of that. Nice fantasy though. That it would be permanent.
Lexekon 1 year ago
This may not have been a legitimate violent act at all. Divorces are notoriously messy, with deception not being at all uncommon. If this was a he said / she said, then sadly chances are good that he didn't. She just wanted him to lose the career.
Spoiler Alert 1 year ago
Why would you assume the chances were "good" that he didnt? That seems to be a bit of a leap. Either option in this scenario is possible but I find it peculiar that you would lean towards the wife lying.
Load More Replies... #11
Co-worker was addicted to Starbucks cold coffee drinks that you buy at a convenience store. She drank 4 per day, everyday.
Smoked , too.
Would spend $250.00 on up for store products, and that’s with a 50% discount ( crystal shop)
Got herself dug into a hole and couldn’t make her house payment. I actually watched her deliberate on whether to buy something at work ( retail therapy she called it) or make her house payment.
I added up the cost of Starbucks alone was $500.00 per month - I was trying to help her.
Her house was foreclosed on in December all because she wouldn’t stop the Starbucks and the “retail therapy “ spending.
Now she homeless.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
This was an addiction. Vert sadly this type of addiction is rarely recognised as such and flip all help out there 😞
Martin 1 year ago
I used to find that buying something gave me a buzz and a slight "high". Afterwards, when the money left my account that the drop in feelings past where I was before hit. Then I started again to get that hit and then the drops then its started a vicious perpetuating cycle. Thankfully I broke the cycle, but sometimes I come really close to starting up again.
Anne Glare 1 year ago (edited)
I used to see this sort of thing when I worked retail - ladies would buy up big during the sales only to bring them back the next week and get new stuff - it's not the things they were buying - it's the THRILL of buying new things.
Vicki Perizzolo 1 year ago
my husband is addicted to on-line shopping and beer/weed...sometimes it's not a good combination.
SilverSkyCloud 1 year ago
this is the only time it should be acceptable to control peoples finances
Nikolaj Christensen 1 year ago
Really? In Denmark addicts and mentally unstable people can choose to get their governmental support paid after living expenses have been paid by their social worker, so that they do not use all the money on d***s, or impulse buying stuff they really don't need... which helps them to keep a apartment so they do not turn homeless...
Load More Replies... #12
This is relatively mild, but it's still pretty sad.
My mom is pretty isolated socially. She lives near me and for years her main source of interaction with other humans was me and my kids. She was emotionally abusive when I was a kid and was doing better for a few years, but then was ramping up the abuse again. I went no contact for several months, then had a sit down with her and discussed what abusive behaviors needed to stop for us to continue our relationship. She agreed.
It lasted two years. She started ramping up the abuse again and then she put my kids and my immunocompromised niece at risk during the pandemic. My husband and I told her that she needed to adjust her behavior and acknowledge that her behavior wasn't okay. She used her usual manipulation tactics (a fake "medical emergency" that my husband took her to the hospital for) and when we didn't immediately forget everything that happened, she called the police for a welfare check on my kids.
We haven't spoken to her in nearly three years and they have been the happiest years of my life. She now has no one locally. My brother had already distanced himself (he lives several hours away) and she's not even getting attention when she goes to the hospital, because my SIL is now helping her manage everything and will only talk to the doctors about her health issues, not my mom. I hope being abusive and selfish was worth her loneliness now.
Lyoness 1 year ago (edited)
Not long ago I saw a quote along the lines of 'people keep telling me my family is a part of me and going NC isn't right', and their response was 'my appendix was part of me and when it exploded I cut that b***h out too.' Loved it. Edit for spelling.
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Papa 1 year ago
While she wasn't abusive, my mother was incredibly self-centered and manipulative. Oddly enough, since her recent diagnosis with cognitive decline she's more pleasant to be around. Maybe the manipulation is too complex for her to manage now?
Neffla 1 year ago
Being self-centred is kind of narcissism and being manipulated, especially as a child, is awful. I'm not so sure she wasn't abusive, just based on that. Just my humble opinion and not meant to cause any harm, obviously you have the full story and I just have a sentence. Very kind of you to keep her in your life, she's lucky IMHO.
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General Stukov 1 year ago
My mom for my entire life had been dealing with bpd, it inflicted untold damage on my sister and i only 5 years ago found this out as my own mental therapist had her come in one time and made the diagnosis. She doesn't feel like she ever does anything wrong and i couldn't stay healing until i realized it wasn't me that was the issue
Anita Given 1 year ago
I had to "divorce" my mom for a few episodes of several years at a time. My aunt (her sister) helped me to understand - very late in their lives - they were both in their 70s by the time she figured it out - that my mom very likely suffered from borderline personality disorder (BPD). That really helped me understand and cope with the abusive behaviour. It didn't change the fact that distance was the only way to retain my own sanity. She was a single disabled mother, and i was her only child. Tragically, we were estranged when she died, and she had made arrangements for her cremation with no funeral to shun everyone in death whom she had driven away in life. As my punishment, I was left our of her will, but this was her choice and I respect it. My aunt encouraged me to contest the will - she had recently won a large insurance settlement from being hit by a car in her wheelchair! She left everything to her physical therapist assistant who came 2-3 times a week to help out.
Jeremy H. 1 year ago
She may have an undiagnosed mental health issue, where meds could make a difference. 100% on your side about getting toxicity out of you and your kids life though! My wife and I did a friends and family "dump" a while back and have been so much happier since. Often those types are only taking advantage of your kindness, and you can only take so much.
Becca not Becky 1 year ago
That was my first thought. This sounds a lot like an undiagnosed mental illness.
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Scusa 1 year ago
Our family is experiencing something similar with a cruel self centered Aunt. After my amazing Uncle passed - we all said No. One of her daughters who took the brunt, is finally smiling, through great family and therapy. I do not miss her in any way and am grateful my Uncle does not need to endure her for one more second
Kimberly Gibbs 1 year ago
You sound gleeful that she has no one. I mean okay, YOU don't want to have anything to do with her for your own peace of mind...and that's perfectly fair. But to wish (however covertly) that she has no meaningful relationships, and to take pleasure in that fact, is disgusting. I have family members that I do not associate with because I need to protect myself from their toxic behavior, but that doesn't mean that I wish them ill. What possible benefit is it to me that they have no one? My peace is protected by the boundaries I have established for our relationship and is not enhanced in any way by others cutting them out of their lives. This says a great deal about your own toxicity.
Tommy DePaul 5 months ago
If it makes her feel good, what's the harm? I bet your fun at parties . . . .
Load More Replies... #13
It’s really sad but my cousin had a stillborn when she was young and got into hard d***s to cope. Now she has 6 kids that she has no custody over, has been imprisoned multiple times, has fines she can’t pay, and can’t get a job above minimum wage.
I’m the only one in the family who doesn’t blame her for relapsing time and time again because I can’t imagine the horror of sobering up and realizing you threw your entire life away before 35 and had no chance of ever getting it back. The rest of the family doesn’t understand that being an adult and working two full time jobs at minimum wage to barely make ends meet isn’t a life worth living sober, especially knowing all your kids are out there in someone else’s care and seeing them in bad situations too.
Idk which would hurt worse tbh, knowing that most of them hate you, or knowing that some of them look up to you even though you’ve royally f****d up both your own life and all the kids.
Tamra 1 year ago
This is a truly awful situation, but I disagree with the sentiment "... isn't a life worth living sober". No matter how hard it is to face, no matter how hard it gets, using/drinking will 100% make things worse. I totally get the desire to numb the pain, guilt, shame, and frustration, but using doesn't solve any of those existing problems. It just makes more.
Norman Yenney 1 year ago
Agree with Tamra 1000% As an ex user, yes that life sux but it is always worth struggling through it sober. If you numb yourself, then off you go again down the slope to rock bottom. Isn't previously being there enough for you?? 😩
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Astrius 1 year ago
sad story but uh BP please stop censoring « hard d r u g s » like that, my mind went to something else
FABULOUS1 1 year ago (edited)
As a mother of 6 who lost 3 children due to addiction, I can say there is a better way and better life ahead if you put the work in. I have been clean for almost 20 years but before that I destroyed everything in my path. I have a great paying job, I had my felony expunged, I have a relationship with 4 of my children and I get to be in their lives and a grandma to their children. I just cannot get behind this persons statement, you can make changes with better choices one second, one minute and one day at a time. I am not in any program now but AA does say to give it a chance and you will be amazed before you are halfway through, I can attest to that, not because it was easy but it has been worth it. I hope she finds the help and healing she needs.
Paul Brown 1 year ago
I've been sober since 2011, use to drink 24/7 including on the job. Any problems you have are made 10 times worse by drinking. No matter how screwed up your life is, alcohol does not help.
Edward Finger Hands 1 year ago
Well…not to be insensitive but I read “hard d***s” as the other censored 5 letter word starting with d and ending in s…
Jeremy Porter 1 year ago
Why censor that word? Do we really need to h**e every w**d that might offend someone? How is a p****n triggered by THAT word?
HARRY KOPPERS 1 year ago
she relapses time and again because she's an addict. She needs long term inpatient therapy, then getting deeply involved with NA or AA. No matter how far down someone goes, recovery (and growth) is possible. Cousin OP isn't a sympathizer, he's an enabler.
#14
My husbands friend. Had a beautiful wife, gorgeous house, 2 lovely boys, a job he loved and lots of great friends who loved him. Then he decided at the age of 35 to get into hard d***s. He has been in and out of prison for violent crimes, transportation of large volumes of h****n, attempted m****r, burglary and stalking...
He is homeless again as he burned down his flat on purpose to get a move. No one will ever talk to him again. He's now 55 and has nothing, his wife divorced him after giving him far too many chances, his sons hate him, his real friends gone for ever. All for nothing.
Josephine Blogs 1 year ago
When I read "hard d***s" I thought it was something else. Well you might get some of that in prison. 🍆
BoredWolfe 1 year ago
Did this guy find himself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife? Was he asking himself, he did he get here?
CF 1 year ago
One thing ppl need to know about this kind of story- a person with a perfect life does not just 'decide' to get into hard dr_gs at 35 years old. Most likely, this person was so depressed and/or anxious that they were seeking anything to just make the feelings stop long enough to take a breath. Add to that the proper genetic combination and family history for substance abuse disorder (aka getting addicted very quick), and you have a story like this. The US, or least where I am in the state of Massachusetts in the US, it is not easy to turn your life back around once the dr-g problem includes legal problems. The state, etc, puts you in or leaves you in all these awful catch-22 situations that you can't get past without money, but can't get money until you get past. That is my story. Granted, even if the same is true for this guy, it does not make the decisions he made later right. But I'm saying I get it to a degree.
jae goldz 1 year ago
I like the part where he “decided” to get on d***s. ‘Cause that’s how THAT happens 🙄
Smart writer 1 year ago
Just write the word d***s. Its not a bad word. Life saving d***s, aids curing d***s,
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
D r u g s... We all know it's D r u g s... Although ducks?... "My friend? At first it was just photos of Donald Duck... Then it graduated to Howard The Duck... Then by the time he was eventually found with over 2000 pictures of Foghorn Leghorn on his phone? It was too late to help him with his serious quack addiction that had led onto other birds... "... Sorry if it seems I'm making light of what's being talked about. I'm just so fed up with the censoring of the word - D r u g s.
Xenia Harley 1 year ago
It is a lot easier to get hooked on dr**s than people think. Someone told me her story once, of how her ex got hooked, due to a surgery, where he was prescribed meds for pain. It continued to be painful and he started to look for more dr**s on the street. When that became too expensive, he turned to h**oine. It happens quite often. She ended up leaving with the three kids, and he eventually ended up in jail.
Michaele 1 year ago
I'm always skeptical of these stories that start with "everything was perfect and then they 'just decided' to get into hard d***s....." Satisfied, healthy people don't just wake up one day and 'just decide' to start doing hard d***s. There is usually something else going on there like mental health issues or trauma or a history of abuse. I hope this poor person eventually gets help.
#15
This kid I went to college with was in the Army Reserves making really good grades, and his parents were really well off. The kid's life was set. Got an allowance every month from his parents, had a nice brand new car for school, lived in a nice apartment right off campus and he had so much going for him. He didn't even have to work, just do his monthly reserve days which were like 3 days a month. So set for life.
To shorten the story a bit, he got caught at a random UA (d**g test) for c*****e. He got lucky and the Army gave him a second chance. Not even 5 months later he got caught AGAIN for c*****e and weed. He somehow got lucky, again, and they just kicked him out in an "Other than Honorable" discharge. Parents pulled his funding and he had to get a minimum wage job at a sandwich shop.
Never saw him again until he randomly popped up on my Facebook about a year later. I hit him up to see how he was. Up and moved halfway across the U.S. with this girl he got pregnant and they were both working at Walmart barely affording rent. He sold his BMW to pocket the move up there. He also looked....rough, to say the least in a lot of his pictures.
Fat Harry 1 year ago
A dang test for chipotle? If only they made these censored words clearer...
Astrius 1 year ago
one of the posts above censored « hard d r u g s » so bad it looked like hard d i c k s
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Verena 1 year ago
So many people are hating their happy, small life, because not cool enough and not enough action.
Comfortably Numb 1 year ago
We don't look for action. We look for escape, and not because we're bored. But thanks for your opinion
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LittleB 1 year ago (edited)
Why are all the d**g words censored out?! I don't understand... similar to die or dead, is sometimes replaced with 'unalive'..??? I've noticed it happening more and more on here?
Gwyn 1 year ago
I didn't get these people, you get caught in a d**g test and you don't expect that they are going to test you again?
Jeremy H. 1 year ago
Especially in the military where if you get a second chance, you'll be going to mandatory intervention. Where they will be surprise d**g testing you regularly (like "hey be down to the clinic in 20 min"). He knew the d**g test was coming.
Load More Replies... Tamra 1 year ago
What you're talking about about is called enabling, which never works out in anyone's favor.
Load More Replies... #16
Watching someone you love not take care of their diabetes. It’s torture.
Suby 1 year ago (edited)
I've been dealing with type 2 for over a decade. I have a decent job with health insurance, but still, it's very exhausting. Trying to manage blood sugars through workdays and days off, seasons, illnesses, etc., is like a full-time job. Every little routine change can throw the levels off. Unlike other conditions, blood sugar is always there, for everyone, every moment of every day. If you have diabetes, you never have time off from the disease. I work hard to stay on top of it and be positive, but it takes so much energy. I don't blame people for being tempted to just give up. It even has a name: Diabetes fatigue.
Becca not Becky 1 year ago
Diabetes is one of the most underestimated health issues out there.
General Stukov 1 year ago
I did this for 4 years. I did not have the will to live as i didn't have access to mental health until i broke a tooth and needed it fixed at the free clinic, they got me everything i needed free of charge
MeowMix 1 year ago
My ex-FIL was like this, would 'forget' to take his insulin then go into shock, often while driving. Lost track of the number of cars he wrecked, thankfully never hurt anyone else, but he always wondered why my ex or I would never let him borrow our cars when he came to visit. Two years ago he forgot his medicine again and passed away in his sleep.
María Hermida 1 year ago
In my country, a lot of diabetic people are banned from driving. They need a doctor's report, and if this situation is possible, their driving licence is revoked.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
I lost a very dear friend to diabetes last August. He'd had both legs below the knee amputated (at different times) he was STILL more than 100 pounds over weight. Doctors told him frequently that he needed to take better care of himself. So sad, he was such an amazing person.
Lynette Hannan (Lyn) 1 year ago
I grew up watching my grandmother have hypos at the dinner table on a fortnightly basis. We didn't really know that she was very uncontrolled, or much about diabetes except that she was on medication for it - this was mid 80's. At the third or fourth ambulance visit, they told us to tell the operator that she is diabetic so the ambulance will get there sooner - as a hypo could kill very quickly. They'd changed the insulin from "pig insulin" to I think, a synthetic one, and the pig one was no longer available. The new one did not go well with her heart medication or her bipolar meds either. Mum had some training with the nurses and was able to check on Grandma each day and pass on what she was learning, but she wasn't really able to get her head around it. She died around a decade later, she hadn't reached 70. I blame ignorance and big pharma putting $$$ before humanity equally. I put mine into remission 3 yrs ago. Its a steep learning curve, but it can be done!
Savage Susan 1 year ago
Yes, it is.Did that with my mother who died from complications from diabetes and am seeing my 40 year old son having the same bad habits
#17
I used to work at a wedding reception place
One wedding the groom and a bridesmaid (I think it was the bride's cousin) got "drunk" and snuck out the back for a quickie. I didn't realise they'd done this and (as I did) threw a bag of rubbish off the upstairs kitchen balcony into the bin - which scared the s**t out of them enough that the bridesmaid has bitten down on the grooms d**k . Lots of blood.
Then when the ambulance has shown up the guys tried to start a fight with one of the ambulance drivers for some reason and we ended up having to call the cops as well and the guys gotten arrested.
Guys boss (fairly high paying lawyer job by the sounds of it) was at the wedding and was definitely planning on sacking the guy after what happened
So the d******d lost both his fiancé/wife and job on his wedding day. And I never found out just how bad the injury to his d**k was but it didn't look good
BK BigFish 1 year ago
I don't think it's so much that lawyers are scumbags, but that the profession rewards unethical behavior, so the scum rises to the top, so to speak.
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Danish Susanne 1 year ago (edited)
It surprises me, that he had lawyer work when he clearly was very very stupid. Doesn't it take some brains?
#18
My buddy Steve was the poster child for 'has it all.' Good career, amazing wife, cute house. Then, the model trains happened. Not little setups...this guy took over the whole basement, then the garage. His wife went from amused to livid. Arguments turned into screaming matches. She eventually left, and Steve, in his model train bliss, barely noticed. The twist? He inherited a ton of money…and spent it all on antique train sets. Eventually though, he noticed....and no model could cure the blues of losing his incredible wife.
Jeremy James 1 year ago
It happens to a lot of train conductors. They get tunnel vision. I guess it really derailed his life.
Matthew Barabas 1 year ago
if the only thing he lost was his wife, but didnt lose his job, or the house, then... maybe the wife was the issue.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
I am not a model train collector, but I have to start watching my diecast car collection. Of course, I don't just splurge but sometimes, I may or may have bought maybe one model too many -_-"
weatherwitch 1 year ago
These costs can run into thousands upon thousands of pounds. My father bought model trains all the time and the bits required to get a setup running. In 5 DECADES he bought and bought and never once build a working system nor were the bits on display. He was a hoarder too
Forrest McCanless 1 year ago
And the train conductor says, "Driver 8, Driver 8, you've been on this train too long . . ."
Binky Melnik 1 year ago
I cannot believe I’m reading about someone destroying his life over MODEL TRAINS. And everyone’s running around screeching about the dangers of d***s?! It’s the TOYS we need to watch out for! Apparently. How very weird!
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
I've never heard of someone's spouse living them because of trains. Damn, I guess anything IS possible.
Elio 1 year ago
It sounds like he had the trains take over the entire house.
Load More Replies... #19
I worked on a school bus as a monitor/aid. There was one driver (we'll call him Ed). Ed was always complaining about something, every single day there was some new issue, some problem. He was a bit of a pain. He got into an argument with one of our supervisors over the radio one day and earned himself a 3 day suspension.
His first morning back from his suspension. First route of the day, he gets on the radio and starts back complaining. Dispatch asks him a few simple questions, he responds with hostility and some really unprofessional comments. The director of transportation (our big boss) gets on the radio and asks Ed to meet him in his office after morning routes. Ed responds, "I'll be there if I have time" boss says, "I need you to understand, this is not optional" Ed comes back, "I need YOU to understand, I'll be there if I have time!" Mind you, this is on the radio as we are picking up high school kids, everyone can hear what's happening this entire time. Another dispatcher calls in and tells Ed "when you finish your high school route, park your bus there at the school. We are bringing someone to take your route over, and to bring you back to the lot". Ed did not like this and responded by saying, "Negative. I am finishing my route. Me. If you want someone to drive my route, you get (our boss's boss) and have her come drive this route. Otherwise, I am finishing my route." Dispatch asked for an ETA to the high school, he responded "whenever (our boss's boss) is gonna be there. Otherwise, I get there when I get there". Somewhere around this time he starts talking like, they were targeting him and picking on him and that "it ends today". Again, at this point he has a bus full of high school kids.
Now, I did not see what happened at the high school, but I heard from several other drivers. Apparently the police were waiting for him once he got there and they removed him from his bus. To quote one driver "he acted a fool the entire time". I'm not sure exactly what he was charged with, maybe kidnapping since he acted like he wasn't gonna bring the kids to school unless he got what he wanted? Theft for not bringing the bus back? No clue. But I do know he was arrested and fired. A few days later we get the news that he had a heart attack and died. Most likely from all the stress.
Gavin Johnson 1 year ago
Can’t help but feel he was dealing with some external stress / mental health pressures and his body / brain were not cooperating. He wasn’t behaving in a rational or logical way, he was dealing with the steady decline and his responses were not measured. The heart attack was the culmination of it all. Sorry for the staff and children who had to witness / cope with it and obviously the tragic end, what a waste.
Norman Yenney 1 year ago
Agreed. Maybe even a brain tumour. Sometimes these things show up in bizarre ways and only get discovered at autopsy bc often death quickly follows.
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Petra 1 year ago
What does that stand for? "Too long to read"? I hope not. It's a really short story.
Load More Replies... #20
I girl I know/used to work with decided to jump on the only fans bandwagon. Went all in doing all sort of things on camera. Well the truth is, only the top 1% of OF creators make alot of money and the average one makes $200 a month. If you don’t start with a big social following it’s an uphill battle.
Anyway some people in her town (not super tiny population 120k) saw the account, someone posted the pics of her on Facebook and basically everyone found out. Including her parents.
So after not making much money and photos that will forever be on the internet, she packed it all in to go back to kindergarten teaching. But being in a country town no one would give her a job and people would stare at her wherever she went.
She had to move to the city, and she has a job now. I just hope her new employer doesn’t google image search her 😬
But yeah she really regrets it, could have made more money doing Uber eats on the weekend.
Realistic Optimist 1 year ago
I genuinely don't understand this kind of mentality. "I explicitly looked for some pornographic pictures of you and found some, so I can't hire you". So hypocritical and sad.
Donald 1 year ago
googling someone's name isn't explicitly looking for anything, if the first thing that come up is pornographic images then that should be taken into consideration when hiring a kindergarten teacher. There is nothing wrong with sex work, but there a certain fields that will be apprehensive to hire you. Most parents would lose their s**t if they learned about that after they got hired.
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LandAhoy 1 year ago
It should be illegal to screenshot from OF and share on Facebook in order to defame or cause issues for.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
Look at the FB EULA. Does OF have similar? (They own anything and everything you put on FB adn can use it, sell it or do whatever they please with it.) If so, there's no legal recourse for her. She put herself out there on the net. Don't expect privacy without reading the small print.
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martin734 1 year ago (edited)
Wtf? How can something like this possibly cause so many problems? When I was at university I posed nude for a photography student and the photos were displayed in the University's art gallery. After that I regularly did paid nude shoots for other photographers, photography clubs, magazines and other artists. Most of the shoots were nude art but there were a few that were definitely pornographic. It allowed me to have my own flat while at uni and not have to take out student loans. Guess what? nobody fu*king cared, not my friends, my family or employers. I never had to hide it and it is even on my CV. All that self-righteous moralising is just total BS.
Sue User 1 year ago (edited)
Welcome to small town USA, where if you live/ act outside a very narrow lane, you WILL be shunned. When France won the world cup, we didnt have a French flag, so we hoisted a EU flag. Because my ex has brown skin and didnt condemn muslims, he was accussed by our neighbor of flying a terrorist flag. I am not making this up.
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MissMePhoenix 1 year ago
Did this happrn in North Carolina? Cuz i feel like i remember hearing about this...
#21
I’m an alcoholic/addict. I’m in recovery but, I can barely leave the the house, I can’t hold a job, I have cut off all but five people in my life…I’m a mess.
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
You're aware you're in a mess and admitting to it. That means you're not in as big of a mess as you think you are... stay strong and keep fighting, one small step at a time.
Norman Yenney 1 year ago (edited)
Agreed. 5 people left is 4 more than I had when I hit rock bottom. Hopefully OP will get through to the other side. 🫤
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HARRY KOPPERS 1 year ago
getcher dead a*s to meetings, both AA and NA, at least once a day. Preferably once a day each. Get a sponsor, work the steps quickly. (You'll have plenty of time to work 'em better later.) On a positive note, I'll bet money that the people you cut off weren't friends, just drinking/drugging buddies.
Michael None 1 year ago
YOU aren't a mess, your life is. It can be fixed though with help, patience, and better life decisions. You can turn your life around and if you look inside you'll find that there is a never-ending strength there.
Rebekah Fuentes 1 year ago
I don't know you, but you are my friend and I love you. Keep fighting.
Tina Harnish 1 year ago
If you can. Go to a library. Go to a park. Just sit and relax. No actions required. You don't have to think. Just getting out and having yourself in a different space. For an hour.
Jaybird3939 1 year ago
Been sober 15 years. I lost a lot of friends. One in particular, I thought of as family, cut me off because I lied to her. I was a suicidal alcoholic. Of course I lied, to everyone. I didn't go the AA route (just a conflict of personal belief systems, if it works for someone else, great!). The loss of friends wasn't actually a bad thing. Cut down on people expecting me to drink, left me time to get my a$$ straightened out. I now have a group of friends who understand what my life consists of and don't expect differently. I know it sounds corny, but do things not involving alcohol. Volunteer, take classes, go walking, go to the library. Make your life not revolve around booze/d***s and it will give you a whole new perspective.
Bill Kubeck 1 year ago
Admitting what your situation really is is the first step to recovery. Keep trying. Cherish every victory, however tiny it might seem. You still have five people. That's a victory. You're still alive. That's a BIG victory. Don't give up.
#22
Back in the 90s, a classmate of mine was way into computers. He was offered a really well paid job in the US, we were in the UK, straight out of school. Incredible benefits. Invaluable training opportunities. In in the ground floor at the best possible time. Lost it because he used the free airline tickets the company gave him so family could visit, to fly his friends out. Then lied about it. He was a notorious liar all through school. What an opportunity. What a c**t.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
No, he got what he deserved. He was a grifter, and would have crashed and burned sooner or later with that kind of mindset.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
I don't think I agree with you. They gave him free tickets. He didn't steal the tickets. I'd consider my friends to be as close, if not closer than most of my actual family. It doesn't sound like he was selling the tickets, or stealing them, or even that the company was out of pocket in some way. It's just that instead of it being for "Mom and Dad" he used them for his friends. The company were happy to pay for them anyway. I think the story needs some more detail as to what exactly happened and why it was considered a fireable offense.
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SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
Am I missing something here about the airline tickets? He gave them to his family and friends? The OP sounds a bit bitter tbh and probably has been... is Jealous the right word? Since high school.
SilverSkyCloud 1 year ago
why does it matter that he gave the tickets to his friends? sure i get the boss wouldve been pissed that the guy lied but how is it a fireable offence instead of a warning?
#23
My uncle was an ambitextrous baseball pitcher in highschool. Absurdly good at it. He could have gotten an athletic scholasrhip, gone to college, maybe gone pro.
His dad died, he got into d***s, and now he's a h****n addict in and out of prison.
Bored something 1 year ago
No, he got into drapes and now he's a houseporn addict. It's censored because of the word porn.
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Daddy’s Girl 1 year ago
Here we go with the overuse of *****. Have those words suddenly become swear words?
Tina Harnish 1 year ago
Censorship is dumb. Gonna be saying blue for green next. Censorship doesn't work. If you don't want to hear certain words, then avoid the content. Are you going to start censoring the various religions' bibles, next? I was lucky as a kid. I could read what I wanted. Watch what I wanted. Knew d***s were bad, but I also knew which words were what. If you think using symbols instead of letters, get with the real world. Kids will know it. They'll just be laughing at the stupid adults who think switching letters for symbols means squat. Games, also called puzzles, do it all the time. Same as the ability to read upside down. It doesn't hide anything and makes censors look less than smart. For it to work, a whole lot of material would need to be redacted. Quit letting a few idiots brainwash everyone. Please. They don't like, they can avoid. Don't mess things up for the majority.
#24
I know plenty of guys who had kids with the wrong person.
I don't think people quite realise the negative impact on your life this can have.
RabidChild 1 year ago
It's almost like people don't understand having a child is a lifelong commitment and a permanent tie to their co-parent. Maybe you should take a minute to contemplate before you copulate.
ILoveMySon 1 year ago
Indeed. Remember, kids, if you want to copulate, ask yourself if you are willing to spend the rest of your life with that person. Best advice I ever received.
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Stephanie Barr 1 year ago
Having children should not be a whim. You should think about it and be committed. Both of you. Having said that, many people have bad judgement when it comes to a lover and only realize in hindsight what monsters they were.
#25
One of my former co-workers, a smart young man that most everybody liked. It was just a gas station cashiering job, not a hard job at all.
Ben was only 22 and we're not sure if the attitude problem started before or after the d**g use, but he suddenly started calling out sick, a lot!
Whatever the reasons, since he couldn't handle the responsibilities of his job, they had to let him go.
That's when his d**g problem became apparent, as he was still seen around the neighborhood looking disheveled and lost.
His best friend told us that he was found unresponsive, after an OD and that he was in the ICU.
The doctors were saying that the brain damage was irreversible and friends and family should just come say their goodbyes while he was still alive... so to speak.
#26
My brother was offered a really well-paying job doing something he's excellent at. He thought it would be too easy, so he chose a much more challenging job in a less appealing environment with a boss who is a real jerk. He hoped to impress him. Now, he's really unhappy. I just don't understand why he puts himself through this kind of thing.
𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 1 year ago
"Destroyed" doesn't have to be permanent. It's certainly destroyed for the foreseeable future while he navigates himself out of this dead-end job.
Load More Replies... Becca not Becky 1 year ago (edited)
Being ambitious isn't a bad thing, and he would likely have gotten bored in the first job. Hopefully he quit this job and found a better one.
Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago (edited)
You cannot impress a boss. You cannot prove yourself. Because they don't care. To them, you're only a cog in a machine. The only time they care is when you break, and DON'T perform. And even then they don't care why you broke, or if you can be fixed. They just throw you out (fire you), and replace you with the next shiny new cog (person) in line. It took me many years to realize this myself. But when I did, and I stopped putting in extra effort for nothing, and starting working to live, and focusing on me and my life, I became much happier!
Scott Wilkins 1 year ago
I think most of us have had jobs we didn't like. We chose them for various reasons: misconceptions about the job, desperation for the income, etc. I don't feel it destroyed my life...just made it unpleasant.
Catharina Geerts 1 year ago (edited)
Trust is important in a relation. I once broke up with a guy, who over time started being more and more jealous and distrustful (without reason; I'm a one-man-woman). Otherwise a fantastic guy and it broke my heart, but I couldn't go on. It felt like living in a golden cage
#27
A former classmate of mine pursued medicine even though she didn't want it, her parents was a big factor of this decision. She was into music and I'd have to say she was great & really passionate doing it, her parents wasn't just supportive. During college she failed almost every subjects and then eventually dropped out. The last time I heard she left home and is living with her bf now. Its just unfortunate she wasn't able to take the path that she loves. F**k the parents honestly for pressuring her. I think she would've been happier if she pushed through music. I don't blame her though maybe she didn' t have a choice. Sometimes we have to disappoint our parents a little bit to be happy.
Melia Janssen 1 year ago
I knew someone who was pushed into medicine too. He didn't want to do it, but also because of his parents, so he stuck it out. He completed his studies, and then the day of his graduation, he promptly turned to his parents with his diploma, handed it to them and told them that he had done exactly what they wanted him to do, but now he was going to do what he wants to do! He went into advertising and last I checked, he seemed happy.
Becca not Becky 1 year ago
His education in medicine probably opened some good opportunities for advertising too. I hope he's doing well!
Load More Replies... Passerby 1 year ago
I went to law school exactly because my dad really wanted me too, even though I had wanted to study language because I love it and I am pretty good at it. It was pretty miserable experience. I failed so many subjects. I barely managed to graduate. I am fine nowadays because luckily I am still good enough at language to earn a living through it, but sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had chosen language instead.
Sue User 1 year ago (edited)
Go back. I switched careers and am so happy now.
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ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
Maybe the BF can be supportive and help her pursue her passion? My wife went after a career to make her parents happy, ended up pregnant at 19, then married him, dropped out, and divorced 7 years and 2 kids later. Once we got together, we re-evaluated and she's gone through multiple career changes to really pursue what she's passionate about. This girl in OP's story doesn't have to give up on her passions just because she initially ignored them.
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
Unfortunately some parents do these things with the best of intentions (because a career in music, to them, sounds like a gamble and a career in medicine a sure thing). But we know what they say about best intentions... and they can really screw up their kids that way
Agamemnon O'Neill 1 year ago
If you want a doctor in the family, YOU go be a doctor. Don't pressure your kids to life your life for you.
Elio 1 year ago
I have a friend who was on the engineering track and her parents, especially her dad would pressure her into taking too many credits so she'd fail classes. She would periodically stop taking her ADHD medication because her dad would make fun of her for it too. Obviously that didn't help. She eventually became a teacher and stopped listening to her parents so much.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
I have always been artistic. Been exhibited at the Royal Academy of Art in London... I wanted to persue that avenue. I was working towards a PhD in Psychology combined with Art with the aim of Child Psychology... Specialising in Trauma Therapy. I was 20 btw. But... When you're being pressured from every single angle? "Why aren't you at work?" (I've to finish my essay and I've only so much library computer time) and you're up all night at the University library studying then going to lectures two hours later and then go work behind a bar on no sleep? It can become a choice of - Well... Do I work to pay my rent and afford food or pay my tuition and fees and buy books... Plus the amount of pressure... It's why some people do burn out and just quit...
Shawn Barry 1 year ago
every time I hear a story like this I think of the movie The Dead Poets Society
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
Yes but the choice may be living in your car and eating on alternate days, or choose like your family wants.
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#28
Friend who got married because he didn’t want to break it off and thought he would just be better off, he’s dying a slow death.
#29
One of my buddies actually ditched a six-figure job because he didn't trust his girlfriend not to cheat on him while he was at work. He's a good guy, but when it comes to women, he can be a real dummy sometimes. **It's pretty crazy, right?**.
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 1 year ago
No. He's not a good guy or a dummy. He's a controlling douchebag. Stop making excuses for him and CALL HIM OUT.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
He's not a good guy. He's controlling and manipulative, the red flags from this behaviour are sky high 😔
Tommy DePaul 5 months ago
You can't get controlling from OP's facts. If everyone is controlling then no one is. This is but one reason that women's opinions are minimized.
Load More Replies... Papa 1 year ago
I have to wonder if he was cheating on the girlfriend, so he thought if he was cheating she probably was also. Kind of like the theory that if someone is constantly worried about other people stealing from them they're likely a thief.
Ele V 1 year ago
Enough with the "He does [insert awful thing here] to women but he's a good guy"' narrative!!!!!!!!! Enough!!!! HE IS NOT A GOOD GUY. Or everyone else that behaves similar. That's one of the darkest things in our societies. Stop it
Veronica Jean 1 year ago
That's isn't "good guy" behavior. That's raging, controlling, psychopathic behavior.
Tommy DePaul 5 months ago
You can't get psychopathic from the facts. Your the girl who cried wolf . . . .
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#30
My best friend's ex-wife. He was the most loving husband who doted on her and gave her everything. They wanted to start a family. His family was also very accepting of her. She was a councillor who decided to cheat on him with one of her patients... not once, not twice, but three times. My friend finally saw the light and divorced her.
He's now remarried to a fantastic woman who appreciates him as much as he does her and they just had their first child. I don't know what the ex-wife is doing now but I hope she knows what she threw away one day.
Neffla 1 year ago
Fully agree with you on this, she should be struck off for having sex with her patients.
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Danish Susanne 1 year ago
She ought to be out of counseling because affairs with patients is at least in some countries a criminal offence.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago
Im so glad the few mental health professionals i know are really nice
Jasper Sardis 1 year ago
Reminds me of song--What Will You Say--by a band called Redemption. Very sad.
Idgafwyt AllDat'N'ABagOfChips 1 year ago
In this particular scenario, the therapist was a woman, that slept with her patient.
Load More Replies... #31
One of my closest childhood friends. We’re all well into adulthood now and he had been sober from alcohol for years, had his own plumbing business, kids, a fiancee. Typical american dream stuff.
During the pandemic he basically snapped, starting drinking again which quickly turned into doing m**h and now he’s a missing person on the streets of Portland somewhere. Just sad and I feel like I’m going to hear he’s OD’d since there’s fentanyl in everything here and there’s nothing any of us can do about it. He’s intensely stubborn and won’t listen to anyone and he doesn’t seem to care.
Idgafwyt AllDat'N'ABagOfChips 1 year ago
They say that you can get hooked on mèth after just a couple uses. Could have been out drinking at a bar and met people who had mèth and tried some one night, and then again a couple nights later, ect. It can definitely happen.
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#32
I have an ex- SIL who has been a drunk for years. She was an attractive, fiercely intelligent, really cool, fun person who had mental health issues that were ignored for years. Eventually, she got that part under control, and became a mental health professional. I think she probably is very good at it, but she’s on a downward spiral. Her drinking is worse than ever. She has had two DWIs. I won’t let my kids go anywhere with her anymore because she drives drunk with them, or tries to get them to drive so she can drink. She got pulled over once and handed her weed and vaping pen to my kid and said “Here, take this. I can’t be caught with it.” She cancels her appointments with her clients constantly. I know one person who was seeing her and they believe she was drunk during their sessions. I know somebody else whose mother works with her, and my friend is scared for her mother’s safety as my ex-SIL has a history of being violent and assaulting people (never been to jail for it) and trying to get her to take benzodiazepines that she has. She is single as far as I know, and all her boyfriends have either been dumb guys and losers who don’t deserve her, or abusive bullies that walk all over her. I have cut her off entirely, but I feel terrible for her.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
Once again, if you have exhausted all avenues, sometimes you just have to let go... for everyone's good hopefully...
Anna Chandler 1 year ago
Based on my experience, this sounds about right for mental health professionals. They make s****y parents too.
Neffla 1 year ago
I'm sorry this has been your experience. I've met a couple of s****y ones but also some amazing mh professionals who really helped me save my life.
Load More Replies... Ephemera Image 1 year ago
Again, choices she made. I can see once, making a mistake, we all do that. But grow up.
Willie D'Kay 1 year ago
Why do mentally ill people become therapists and councilors and who is allowing that to happen? It's worse than the blind leading the blind. Being afflicted with a condition does not make you an expert to guide others with similar afflictions.
SweetCheesySpaghetti 1 year ago
I find it ironic that after all that was said about the ex-SIL, you could still judge "losers who don't deserve her." What makes her so much better than them? If you're going to judge "losers", you should judge ex-SIL by the same kinds of standards. Because she certainly doesn't sound like a winner.
#33
Probably me when I was younger, I spent my ENTIRE teenage years alone because I gave up easily. Because I was scared of everything.
I didn’t have friends, love, dances etc.
I seriously was absolutely lifeless inside.
MrLiesegang 1 year ago
Then he went outside, met people and ruined his life.
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Hakitosama 1 year ago
I would gather op's not far from his teenage years.... Adults generally look at their younger years differently.
#34
Me, just living and making wrong decisions all of the f*****g time.
tuzdayschild 1 year ago
Get some therapy to develop skills to help your decision making. You can do it. I believe in you.
Cheesepony 1 year ago
I think maybe this life is just a big schoolroom, we're here to learn - and we really learn best the hard way because we're really stubborn animals mostly. Don't beat yourself up, give yourself some grace - if everything was perfect I personally would learn zero.
#35
My husband cheated with an ugly, married coworker. I discovered their affair while we were on our FAMILY Vacation to New Orleans. We were there for our family's 4th trip there for the Jazz Festival. It was the 50th Anniversary of the Jazz Fest. Our family had been looking forward to it for 6 months. Then we flew down there, arriving at midnight or so. I was still the unknowing wife. Next morning, May 1st 2019. I discover the affair because of his distracted ( not really there with us vibe), and his cell phone use. That night I went into the phone and found out everything. I took photos and videos. We got home, I confronted him, he denied denied denied. I showed our family the proof.
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
not sure including the word "ugly" there added anything to the story :)
Karen Krause 1 year ago
Yeah, my take also. A married co-worker is bad enough to tell the story.
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Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
I'd have blown the other marriage as well. Maybe even go to HR if the company had specific policies about relationships at work. But I'm known to be vengeful.
𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 1 year ago
Actually, this sounds more like my partner's sister, who blew up her marriage for no reason, because her husband had friendly, joking, fun texts and pics on his phone from a co-worker. She came over to our place to show us screenshots and was particularly outraged by a photo the co-worker had sent of her and her friends at a theme park. All the girls in the phone were blowing a kiss at the camera - but it didn't seem "sexy". It was more silly. She was screaming how "ugly" the co-worker was, how dare he cheat on her with such an "ugly girl". But none of the texts or pics really showed anything but two people who were brother-sister close. We told her that, but she refused to see reason. She filed for divorce, her ex is still friends with the co-worker, he was the best man at co-worker's wedding a few years back. Partner's sister is still VERY salty over "his cheating".
Willie D'Kay 1 year ago
The need to add the word "ugly" and all of the exact and possibly obsessive meticulous dates and details kind of say a lot about why he might not have been happy with his spouse. But that does not excuse cheating.
#36
My older sister who is 32 just, refuses to work. She lives with our grandma and is absolutely miserable because she has zero autonomy (grandma rides her a*s when she leaves the house etc, her decorating choices are confined to one single room, etc), yet she refuses to make any moves because “people in other countries live with their family as adults.” We suggest therapy, she’s not interested, says she can be her own therapist. She’s too good for a job in retail or call center (I work retail), but refuses to do any kind of schooling. She makes her own misery. The most she has in regards to disability is depression, which I understand, but she refuses help or to try any changes.
Hakitosama 1 year ago
Wooowowoh sis' slow down ! Living with family into adulthood doesn't mean not being a full fledged adult and not being independent! I'm 35, still live with my dad (I'm aro ace so no SO in the picture) because it's simpler for the both of us but ... I work a good desk job, he's a teacher with a good salary. One car because Belgium is just so ridiculously small that paying taxes and insurance twice would just be stupid... living with family isn't freeloading!
Jay Cee 1 month ago
What I took from that was !I work a good desk job". Kinda changes things, no?
Load More Replies... BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
Depression is a cruel bïtch ... it makes you not want the help you need, or to try and change. If you work to the point where you understand you need help, you will then feel like you don't deserve it, you're not worthy of someone else's time and effort. If this is diagnosed as depression, then she needs more help, until she's over that hill and, hopefully, she gets to a better place. One slow, painful step at a time.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
I doubt it's depression, more like just an adult who never learned to adult. And has a princess mindset if she won't work any jobs 'beneath' her.
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Willie D'Kay 1 year ago
Depression can be crippling. And we often forget that people did not choose to be born and aren't necessarily automatically equipped to be effective at life. Sounds like the family failed a bit at raising her to their perceived expectations.
#37
Our daughter is 25. Every few years she just randomly blows up her life. Tells us not to call/talk to her, cuts off her real friends and makes them hate her. Ends up calling us months later because she's out of options/friends.
She's currently living with us, rent free, no job, but has some plan on moving south with randos from the internet. Can't talk to her without her getting angry. We don't know what to do. It's so unsafe.
She had a good job a year ago. Had a nice 2 bedroom apartment, a great friend who picked her up for work everyday.
Realistic Optimist 1 year ago
This is very likely a symptom of mental illness. Regular personality transitions are a huge indicator that it's time to get a psychiatrist/therapist involved.
Neffla 1 year ago
More like a personality disorder to be, I agree with clairebear and wowbagger. If she had bipolar the depression would have been more obvious, it's almost impossible to hide major depression. Just my opinion of course.
Load More Replies... clairebear 1 year ago
Sounds like a personality disorder like covert narcissism. My nephew is same. Goads people into hating him and then plays the victim. Has to move when he's run out of options and has exhausted his current audience. His mother keeps bailing him out thinking he'll change. I have come to believe she is part of the problem and she should let him sink or swim. He won't get professional help because he thinks there is nothing wrong with him. It's everyone else who is the problem.
Comfortably Numb 1 year ago
So, you diagnosed your nephew then? If he doesn't have professional help, then it could be anything
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SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
Sometimes, you just have to let them go... for good! Both yours and hopefully, their own...
Hakitosama 1 year ago
I ... Would take this on prudently..... We only have the side of the parents. I've dealt with two kind of narcissistics (my mother; simple narcissistic and my step mother; a narcissistic PERVERSE) and this pattern reminds me of my relationship with my mom. Everything seems fine for a few years then she relapse in her old patterns and I have to cut her off. "Real friends" who just can't grasp the full situation say that I exaggerate and should make efforts because she's "your mom" so I have to take my distances there too...then a few years pass and back in the dance we are....
#38
My ex wife, we had sort of realized that things wasnt going to work out in the long run, but we wanted to solve things as amicably as possible and take the time. The was no real animosity other than things just not working, until ofc I found out she had some boyfriend staying there when I wasnt home. If she told me beforehand, I probably wouldnt even be that pissed, but just expedited the break-up so she could do what she wanted. But ofc when I come home and literally find him, I got pissed and instead of being any sort of humble or try to talk she just screams and shouts that I could just go and she now had a new guy that would take care of her!
I said ok - grabbed my stuff, gave her the bill for the rent and saids it due in 3 days - but your fella will ofc take care of that, goodbye. *He* was the one that got the problem, because then she kind of had to go all in, and he did for a few months and then basically told her that it wasnt really in the deal/plan to literally take over a wife with two kids (not mine) on a random tuesday... And then she had to spend the next 10years working all kinds of things 15 hours a day to be able to keep an apt. and so on. We are "friends" today in that I dont hate her, so we talk once in a while and she says that *that* was the dumbest day in her life. Not just sitting down and discuss for even 5 minutes...
#39
My sister is currently in an abusive relationship with a man twice her age. He tracks her messages and refuses for her to see her friends, accuses her of cheating, convinced her to quit her job so she relies on him for everything. But she can't leave him because she loves him.
Katarzyna Drozd 1 year ago
*she can't leave him because he manipulated her into staying. She needs help asap.
Jay the not okay 1 year ago
oh no no no your sister does not love him. she just thinks she does
#40
Guy blew all his cash on gambling. Lost family, home, everything. Tragic, man.
Leigh James 1 year ago
There are free resources available (US) for those with gambling addictions/disorders and their families.
What do you think ?
Becky Samuel 1 year ago (edited)
Two thirds of these just seem to be people pooping on addicts. Most of the rest are people pooping on people with mental illness.
Sweet Taurus 1 year ago
I can't even read the post. All of them have one sentence at the beginning and that's it. That's how the last 3 posts have been.
Lesley Richard 1 year ago
So now we have to open the link to see the whole sentence along with stories that are just ads? Bored panda used to be so good, it's sad and frustrating.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Why are there so many that are like, yeah, he started drinking and then it spiraled into hard d***s?!
Becca not Becky 1 year ago
Probably because it's a common, effective way to screw up one's life and it doesn't discriminate.
Load More Replies... Olli Hawk 1 year ago
This one is actually pretty tragic but my friends dad unintentionally ruined his whole family. My friends dad was super addicted to substances and ended up dying of an OD, and his mom [unalived] herself, and my friend was grieving so much, he started using hard dr*gs. He lost all his friends and his partner, and his grades plummeted. (We’re still in HS) he started arguing with teachers and skipping classes, and getting frequent detentions. Eventually he had a m3th induced episode, and st@bbed a man, and he’s now getting m*rd3r charges and switching to a colorectal school (basically a prison school) and the worst part is I can’t even help him because until he recovers, I’m not gonna associate myself with him, because he lowkey scares me as much as I hate to admit it
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
I'd drop him and block him. Even if he's a friend, way too dangerous to be friends with that much of a trainwreck.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 1 year ago
Unless you are in portugal which actually helps addicts, this could be anywhere. I mean, we know it's the us from the style of english, but yeah. Not all countries outside us are good to druggies. Not even SA which has an amazing rights-affirming constitution.
Load More Replies... Becky Samuel 1 year ago (edited)
Two thirds of these just seem to be people pooping on addicts. Most of the rest are people pooping on people with mental illness.
Sweet Taurus 1 year ago
I can't even read the post. All of them have one sentence at the beginning and that's it. That's how the last 3 posts have been.
Lesley Richard 1 year ago
So now we have to open the link to see the whole sentence along with stories that are just ads? Bored panda used to be so good, it's sad and frustrating.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Why are there so many that are like, yeah, he started drinking and then it spiraled into hard d***s?!
Becca not Becky 1 year ago
Probably because it's a common, effective way to screw up one's life and it doesn't discriminate.
Load More Replies... Olli Hawk 1 year ago
This one is actually pretty tragic but my friends dad unintentionally ruined his whole family. My friends dad was super addicted to substances and ended up dying of an OD, and his mom [unalived] herself, and my friend was grieving so much, he started using hard dr*gs. He lost all his friends and his partner, and his grades plummeted. (We’re still in HS) he started arguing with teachers and skipping classes, and getting frequent detentions. Eventually he had a m3th induced episode, and st@bbed a man, and he’s now getting m*rd3r charges and switching to a colorectal school (basically a prison school) and the worst part is I can’t even help him because until he recovers, I’m not gonna associate myself with him, because he lowkey scares me as much as I hate to admit it
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
I'd drop him and block him. Even if he's a friend, way too dangerous to be friends with that much of a trainwreck.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 1 year ago
Unless you are in portugal which actually helps addicts, this could be anywhere. I mean, we know it's the us from the style of english, but yeah. Not all countries outside us are good to druggies. Not even SA which has an amazing rights-affirming constitution.
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