30 People Who Purposely Stay Single Reveal The Reason Behind It And How Life Has Been Since They Made The Decision
Many of us are brought up on fairytales. If we're lucky, people say, we will meet a charming prince or princess and live happily ever after.
But if we're not, they warn us to look out for that sad road to the grave, where only cats can soothe our loneliness.
Still, I've met single positive people who are rejecting the belief that a partnership is the only path to a better tomorrow. And I want to let you in on a secret. They do not look nor sound like weirdos.
To show you what I mean, I want to present a Reddit post by user CrypticWeirdo9105. It asked, "Women who stay single purposefully, what's the reason behind it and how's life been since you made the decision?"
Whatever formula for life you're developing for yourself, I hope that some of these answers will at least make you understand that different people want different things and have different ways of going about it.
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I LOVE being single. My married and dating years were full of chaos I didn't create. It is so peaceful being single.
I'm asexual and aromantic, so I've never wanted a partner, but I think I would chose to be single even if it wasn't the case, because listening to my friends who are in relationships, it sure seems like my life is a lot easier and more peaceful.
Hey! I'm Aroace as well, and I definitely get it!
Load More Replies...Same. But then I met the woman I believe is my soulmate, and the calm and peace are like when I was single, but I also get to live with the love of my life.
I’m one of these people who likes to go home, slam the door and not have to deal with someone else’s drama.
I owned my part of the chaos & drama in my relationships, but there's so much less now that it's just me. And yes, you CAN be chaotic by yourself. Being single means it's easier to fix it, is all.
Allot of people make the mistake of thinking they need a significant other to be happy in life. Until you learn to be happy alone you'll never be happy having someone with you. Half my life was spent searching for someone to fill a hole in me that was never really there. I've finally mastered being alone and loving me for me and I've never been happier. It's nice not having to look after another person's feelings and emotions other than your own.
" 'Cause it's oooohhhhhhh, so peaceful here, no one bending over my shoulder, nobody breathing in my ear.........." Peaceful, by Helen Reddy
Exactly, I'm on my own after being widowed. After work I go home, close the door and relax. No more will I have to face that phrase "what's for tea?" It's just me and the dog and that's how I like it, no way am I letting a man have that much control over me ever again.
supported. I have enough drama at the office, do not need to come home and be on show again and have to kowtow to yet another person's weirdnesses, intrusiveness, demands, etc. Just want quiet time and look at memes on BP. Leave me alone.
You can find a mate that still allows those same feelings to occur for you, only it's actually better because you're sharing it with someone you care about. Please, just remember... The perfect mate is almost never just lucked upon, the perfect mates are created by each of you for the other. It usually takes years of living together and forgiving together, it takes holding each others hand as you battled hardship and heartbreak together. After many decades... and severe disabling illnesses for each of us, it has only increased the strength and passion of our dedication to, and undying love for, the other. You don't think anymore about making yourself happy, you dream of ways to make your mate happy. You can't go into marriage believing that divorce is even an option. Of course horrible things can happen in life, if your mate cheats on you, you can leave them, but you don't have to. 44 years together, we still go to sleep holding hands each night, it still feels nice too.
There can be a LOT of drama in intimate relationships... I've outgrown that.
I'm not sexual anymore, I was in a big way for many years. My hormones would rule my brain, making so many problems in my and others lives. The past 16 years I've not had sexual relations with anyone other than myself. I've found that I can't be blackmailed by woman anymore, because sex is no longer a weapon they can use on me. My life is so much more uncomplicated and peaceful.
Thirty. Years. WASTED, trying to 'fit' "society's" stupid fairytale 'perfect' relationship because it was what women were "supposed to" do. A rolling Mama's Boy (passed on early), the next hid his 'pipe' for five years and two of them married. The third started fine, until I made the mistake of moving to his home state. Once on 'his turf' I had to fight him and his dive into alcoholism! Then a low-key racist revealed himself. And the last went from a working "hustler" to a gaming couch potato over the years, with zero motivation, as soon as he wasn't "forced" by circumstance to work. Not worth the mental anguish. Singularity is PEACE, and I've found NOTHING is more important than that. I've done the "woman's 'duty' (GAG) and provided "society" with new humans to abuse. I've no need at all for further romantic relationships. None.
I got tired of babysitting men, so I'm just focusing on myself and I'm honestly the happiest I've ever been in my life
My mental and emotional state while single is far preferable to that when I am not. My life's been great, I have a condo, two cats, and the whole bed to myself.
Statistically, single women are happier, healthier, in less danger of physical violence, and live longer. Sounds good to me!
I’ve never been as happy in a relationship as I have when I’m single. I prefer the peace, not having to compromise on anything, the freedom. I can truly focus on my most favourite person ever - me.
You can make a mess and not have to clean it up. You can eat the same meal straight for two weeks. You don't have to wear pants. That is why.
I just got back from a 10 day European dream vacation, where I got to do all the things I wanted to do, on my own timetable, and at my own pace. I stayed in castles, slept in, took long walks in random little towns, and had the time of my life.
I am definitely the kind of person who, when I am with someone, will make sure they are having a good time at the expense of my own good time. I want to be a generous and kind person. Being single allows me to actually do the things I want to do, without feeling guilty.
In short, it's really great. I have a lot of fun. I genuinely enjoy my own company and my headspace. I have fun hobbies and I have more time to do lots of volunteer work in my town. I have supportive and hilarious friends who lift me up when I'm down. This life took effort to build (relationships, therapy, seeking the right activities) but I'm so happy with where I landed.
"This life took effort to build." Love it! A good life took effort, either you are single or not. Being single doesn't mean you are automatically happy or having a good life, although for me it makes my life easier. It's not a one-fit-all way of living. It's not for everybody.
I want to say it’s purposefully, it’s just that I am well past the point in my life where I will take any s**t from men.
Girl, Yes! Me too. I wouldn't even know how to be in a relationship now.
I like being single. I like not having to explain any decisions to anyone. Not having to text someone with updates if I'm heading out. Not having to compromise on the dinner I want because they want something else. All the little freedoms.
Plus, I won't settle for mediocrity. I want the person who I choose to date to be perfect for me and to be mature.
I agree. That's why I don't date as well. I can focus on my work in peace. I can travel anywhere if I want to, I can do more stuff that someone dating would be unable to do. Having to agree on where to go on vacation, or what house to buy just sounds frustrating.
I don’t ever want to build a life with someone and invest and be destroyed again. I hate being alone, but it’s better than used and abused.
OP, I got no clue what your going through or what you went through, and you likely will never find this, but I hope you're in a better place
I intentionally stayed single for about 4-5 years and it was a really peaceful and happy time tbh. Gave me all the space in the world to figure MYSELF out. Everything was about MEMEME AND ME!!!!!! Not what someone else wanted to do or see or eat-nothing, no one! I tried new foods, went new places, got into new hobbies, took some classes and learned new things-I came out so refreshed, I was actually adamant about not wanting to date again ever to be frank lol. But I met someone who fit into my new much more loved and secure life perfectly. and I think that's the key. Make sure you thoroughly enjoy yourself and your space first. That way you're never desperate for anything and arent acting based off loneliness. If someone comes or goes, it doesnt matter because your space is full of self love and appreciation for life anyway.
I guess you could say it’s purposefully because I don’t want to be with just anyone. I’m looking for someone I’m really excited about and compatible with
Same, I want what I want and wont settle. There have been few I could see my self with, but the feeling wasn't mutual.
Well I work a lot. Ten hours is nothing. I just don't have the energy or motivation to out and have dates and meet people. Dinner - shower- bed. This is my private life and it probably won't change too soon. Better like that. I don't want all this emotional drama.
I don't like men. I'm attracted to men because I'm a heterosexual woman but I rarely if ever meet a man I want to be friends with let alone date. The decision I made wasn't to be single, it was the decision to stop entertaining people I don't like which in turn has resulted in staying single.
I’ve been rejected too many times, never had a date, never had a boyfriend, never kissed and I’m still a virgin at 27, I don’t care anymore, I also keep falling in love with people I can’t have, I also lost faith in my dating life because I hate the way I look and how much I weight. I also like being on my own and doing things alone so this is exactly how I like my life.
I notice that when I'm in a relationship i lose my sense of independance. No matter how i try i always end up spending all my time with my partner, never doing anything alone, neglecting my hobbies and by 2 years in I begin to feel stifled, saturated and resentful.
Thing is, in realtionships, my partners never seems to want to maintain our own sense of self and have individual lives. They all want to be joined at the hip. Can't deal with that again, i have lots i want to do and I'm not putting it off or compromising anymore.
I also don't want to deal with people's quirks or have to compromise on mines so I'll stay single.
I was married and my husband died when he was just 36 and I was 34. I’ve stayed single for the last four years and enjoy it as much as being married…it’s just different. I doubt I’ll ever marry again unless it was necessary for some reason.
I lost my hubby after 30yrs and have been on my own since (12yrs), only thing I miss is company to the theatre or similar 😊
I love being single and giving in to every whim I have without ever having to compromise or worry my partner isn't having a good time. I love being lazy and impulsive and weird and ALONE with no pressure to please anyone but me. I watch whatever shows and movies I want, whenever I want. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and however I want. Just in the day-to-day, it can't be beat imo
You know what you have the right idea on every single point. You go girl. And no matter what, when you are in a relationship, both people in order to have a good relationship, give it themselves, which means sacrifice. Maybe those of us who are single by choice, just realized that and don't want to do it right now. It's a valid, non negative choice! It's a very positive thing actually,it's way better than a bad relationship!
I noticed I tend to feel more lonely in a relationship than I do when I’m single. i love too hard and the men I’ve dated don’t reciprocate. It’s like they just don’t care. And it’s hard to find guys that are actually serious about dating me instead of wanting to be f**kbuddies or those “not ready for a relationship” a** dudes that wanna do couple s**t but don’t wanna be one. It’s just frustrating. I’d much rather just enjoy myself and my peace cause men play too much
I feel the same. I am a bit if an overcaring person. If i love you i will try to make you feel as happy as possible. In my experience with men the more you take care of them the colder they treat you. I would rather be alone than feel guilty all the time because i cant make somebody happy.
Reason: No matter what they say, every man wants a mother/housewife/cook and life is all about what they want and need. How has life changed since swearing off men? Bliss! Make much more money and have a much happier life.
It's just way too peaceful being single to easily give up. Not having to worry about another person’s feelings or opinions, knowing the goals I'm working towards cant be derailed by anyone but me… Would take someone very special to make me wanna give that up.
I'm comfortable. The last few times I've gotten out of that comfort zone, it's been chaotic. It would take an instant connection for me to willingly disturb the peace I have now.
Yes! Absolutely this. I have fought so hard to find my sense of balance, I guess you could say. My last relationship was so toxic, consuming, and abusive that I'm lucky I made it out alive. I fought like hell, and with a lot of therapy have a life that I am grateful for. I don't know if any person will ever be worth the peace i have.
I absolutely love being single! I value my peace and have high standards for anyone I let into my life. I do not want to 'date' for the heck of it. I have to come to a realization that it's definitely not worth it to compromise on the kind of partner I want in my life.
I guess the natural extension of liberation from "when are you going to have children" is "when are you going to get a partner/get married". It would seem that more and more people are stearing away from this (for a multitude of reasons) one too, or at least uuntil the right person comes along
I'm currently in a relationship, but I miss my single life every day. I was my best self when I was single. I only had my problems to deal with. I was able to focus solely on my self improvement and everything about my life was better. My mental health was excellent, skin was clear, and I was at my ideal weight. Now, I just give so much of myself that there is nothing left for me
It sounds to me that this specific relationship is the problem here, not relationships in general. OP, I hope you can identify what it is that gives you such stress, it doesn't sound like you want to be in this situation.
I'm waiting until I feel that I've really meet the right person. I feel like I'm just waiting for him, but I'm also not in a rush. I'm extremely happy and peaceful on my own, and it will take a very strong and kind person to change that. I'm not willing to settle this time, and I'm not willing to be with somebody again until I feel comfortable and safe with them, which has not been the trend in previous relationships
I generally dislike the emphasis placed on insular romantic partnerships, and I strongly dislike having to personally be involved in that headache.
It's overall great and I have no plans to date. Only downsides are single life being more expensive and learning as I age how many people I care about don't actually want friends once they have a long term partner.
We all learn that in the end we only ever have a small core of true friends who care about us and will be with us in good times and bad...
I'm my happiest when I'm single.
All my time, money, all other resources are mine. I don't have to factor in another's opinion when making any decisions. I can just pack up and leave to live in another country if I want to.
A truly loving, supportive relationship is hard work. I don't have the patience and the will to support someone through life at this stage in my life. I don't want to worry about someone, their wellbeing, their happiness.
I love living by myself and I can't ever see sharing house with a romantic partner. Most men are gross with their living habits. I've been married before and those years were probably the most miserable of my life so far.
Being single suits me and I intend to be so as long as I can.
Yeah, THEN there's the just living in the same space with them. Besides all the emotional and maturity and caring and gaf issues, just LIVING with the general "man" type means things are never the way YOU want them in the house.
The thing is that I have become very comfortable being with myself, I feel whole. That doesn't mean that I don't get lonely. But unless I find someone that will add to my life and make my comfort even more comfortable, I don't see a point.
I never liked the idea of finding a person that completes you, metaphorically speaking princess looking for a prince. I am a queen looking for a king lol.
Claiming you need another person to "complete you" is admitting you're unwilling to self-reflect and self-improve, but would rather blame another for you not being "complete." No. If you want a successful relationship, you need to be "complete" in and of yourself.
Got out of a relationship last year and it was my first true heartbreak. I’ve always all my life had a crush on someone or was in some kind of situationship that usually ended poorly…Being in my late 20s, I realize that I need to truly take this time to not only focus on loving myself, but also working on building my business from the ground up. Also carrying this grief from losing my daughter. I am not in a space to be in a serious relationship with anyone else but myself right now.
Well a lot of my reasoning is fear. I don't find myself attractive at all and I don't think any man would either even though I get that's not reality. But I rarely ever find guys attractive anyway and when I do usually they're out of my league. I also am scared of being vulnerable and I'm scared of guys just one day waking up and thinking I'm not enough. So overall I'm insecure badly and afraid of intimacy and vulnerability so I think for my own mental health it's better for me to stay single.
I really enjoy being single. I love being dependent on me, myself and I. I made a decision to stay single after a bad entry into the dating world until I was 'ready'. And I accepted that I might never be ready to fully commit myself to someone else. I treated an ex not very nicely (he also wasn't a gentleman but still he deserved respect) because I wasn't ready. (My parents modelled a very toxic view of 'love' that has shaped how I navigate relationships.)
I've had to do a lot of work on myself. I also had no desire for a relationship. I love my own company haha. I wasn't happy in past relationships. BUT I actually am considering getting back on the horse soon. I am on the cusp of being ready again. But I wasn't ever sure I'd get to this point.
Note: this post originally had 93 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Not everyone wants to be married, not everyone wants to be alone. We are a very diverse species and should celebrate who we are.
Perhaps because it is more socially acceptable for a man to be single than for a woman to be single. Like how there's the whole spinster image for women, but not really an equivalent notion for men.
Load More Replies...I realised I was aro ace and was only trying to be in a relationship because I thought that was what you were "supposed to do". I'm so much happier now I know I never wanted or needed those things in my life.
I've married twice. Still am married. I really don't know if I married the wrong people or that I just prefer being single. Or that I bought into the idea that there's someone who could understand you and give a sense of love/meaning (not that person alone of course but contribute to). A mix of all three I guess. What I do know is that I was the most happy as single during my lifetime. Relationships often feel like they are much more work compared to what they give in return and I often feel more alone in relationships compared to when I'm on my own. I see nothing wrong with people choosing to be single all their lives.
If my marriage ever ends, I will remain single. I would not touch dating these days with a ten foot pole. It seems like a nightmare to be out in the dating world these days... and that is saying a lot because it wasn't a picnic before. I feel bad for those out there in the dating world, it seems utterly f*****g exhausting.
I'm 63 years old. Over the years, my bulls**t detector has become more and more accurate, and my willingness to put up with said bulls**t has dwindled to zero. I now live alone with my two rescue kitties, and we're very happy and content together.
my wife and i were together for more than 20 years before she realises she was gay. we had 3 kids and still have a good relation now but this really crushed me and destroy my desire to ever meet someone. i'd rather die alone than get the risk to live that kind of things again. i turn my need for intimacy with romance anime who gives me the warmth i need.
I lived alone for over 4 yrs from 23 to 28. It was the best time in my life. I read my journals from back then and see every day I was excited about the future and where it would take me. Things took a huge nose dive 2 weeks after I had my daughter and the post natal anxiety took over every aspect of my life. I had her when I was 30. I'm 50 now and I have not fully recovered. Once that anxiety took hold I've never been able to completely escape it and bc of that I developed depression. It's so weird when I think back about the person I used to be even 10 yrs ago, I don't even remotely relate. I don't even remember what she felt like or how she thought. my former self is a complete stranger.
When my kids were growing up, I was SO scared of being a colossal failure as a parent. It would have been SO much better for me and my kids if I had just RELAXED and tried to enjoy it instead of worrying so much.
Load More Replies...Been in relationships continuously since I was 23 and now decades later (won't say how many), I'm totally loving my first year alone. I can do what the f**k I want, I do not have to explain myself to a dictator, or get abused, or worry about how they feel about my friends or hobbies. Best of all! I can put up whatever f*****g artworks I want, without permission!! woohoo!
Got sick of putting all of the work in to make a relationship work, while the other person just takes. Acting as their babysitter is not fun and completely unfair if they're not willing to at least put in some effort on my behalf as well. Also, anxiety around sex as i'm apparently supposed to be some alpha that's always pressuring for it and if i'm not, it somehow means im not into them? I dont understand it. I'm concentrating on good friendships now, as they are way more important and more fulfilling than any romantic relationship i've been in. It's a lot better. And hopefully soon, a dog.
"putting all of the work in to make a relationship work" I don't know who needs to hear this but relationships are not supposed to require "work". If it requires work, then you are not compatible as a couple. It means your wants, needs, expectations are not the same.
Load More Replies...Single for almost 20 years and it has been the best time of my life. I aim to stay this way.
I'm a lesbian and I can't stand drama. Or neediness. Or having to deal with another person. People suck and I like being single.
Personally, my reasons are (1) I've never met someone who needed as much alone time as I do, which leads to constant friction; (2) I honestly don't want another person and their stuff in my small house, nor am I willing to move in to someone else's house; (3) My last relationship was abusive and I won't do that to myself ever again; and (4) I'm terrible at choosing partners and always feel like I'm being gradually erased as a person in order to be the equivalent of their personal assistant, maid, therapist, etc. I've never been happier than I am now, and I've been single for 8 years. I complete myself, thank you very much.
Aromantic asexual with asperger's syndrome - I am absolutely and very truly comfortable living on my own with my cats. Sometimes other people don't believe it; they are convinced that deep down inside I am lonely or missing something. I am not. It was the best realisation of my life that I DO NOT HAVE TO find and be with a partner at some point in my life. You have to find love, peace and happiness within yourself first. Only then you might look for a partner - if you like. If you expect another person to make you feel whole or give you all the love, care and attention that you need you are placing a burden on them that is not their job to carry. Nobody else is responsible for your development or well being - YOU are. Don't waste your time looking for somebody else to fix your issues. Always do the work yourself - and if you find a nice person or some fur or scale babies along the way to share your life and love with consider them a gift or a bonus and just enjoy it!
This list has solidified by decision to swear off men unless I find one that is really special
There's just people and people suck. Men and women. So don't hold your breath.
Load More Replies...So my problems are currently a sucky personality, bad looks, trust issues, fear of opening up, fear of intimacy, and depression. I understand I will probably be alone forever and I’ve accepted that (not happily but eh). Some poor guy or gal does not deserve my toxic a*s with issues up the whazoo.
For your own sake, not for the sake of getting a partner, get therapy if you can afford it. Self-respect is important too.
Load More Replies...I've got the best of both worlds: I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man, who treats me with respect and kindness and support. We're going through a difficult time at the moment (his health) but we are closer and love each other deeply. We don't live together but we live in the same building. I have my own place, have my own money, manage my own life; he does the same. We share the grocery money, though I do the shopping and cooking (again, his health issues). I think being together but apart is the way forward for many people after divorce/break ups. Neither of us would lose our home/possessions should we split up. We've been together for just over 2 years now, and blissfully happy.
I'm stressful and weird after two weeks in a relationship. I don't recognize myself.
I'm 50 now and am purposely single and childless. I realized in my early 30s that whenever I went out with a guy I ended up seeing the movie they wanted, or the restaurant they preferred. Unfortunately, I'm now staring down parenting my stubborn, elderly father for at least another 10 years. I love him, but he fights me on everything, resentful that his daughter has to take charge (or else his dishes never get done, he never eats healthy, weed lawn grows 5 feet tall, etc.).
Dating atm isn't a good idea for me at this time. Just not interested as things are hectic and I don't want to drag them down with me. This resulting in some unwanted drama and additional stress. If things cool down I do have mixed feelings. Also kind of part introvert and extrovert. Sure I enjoy being alone, but also it would be nice to come home to someone I can relate to and chill with em'. It's a nice idea for me to have a mate I can cuddle & share foods with. I respect folks decisions in their lives & personal endeavors.
the pandemic taught me id made the right move staying single. my small place was quiet and peaceful while couples forced to be stuck together were constantly fighting. no thank you
im a guy. ive been single my whole life, but the pandemic taught me id made the right move. my little apartment was quiet where there were several visits from the police to others in my building from couples nearly killing each other from being cooped up in lockdown.
I'm single... kind of. I'm never in a single committed relationship and never the serious exclusive type. Better that way, you do you and I do me. No hassle, no strings attached and more importantly no drama.
I'm asexual. I'm single in no small part due to the fact that other asexual people are hard to find, and straight men don't want a partner who will never ever have sex with them.
I love being single. Now at 62, all the baggage is gone, happily divorced for over 20 years and without a care in the world I spend my time riding my motorbike, drinking beer and trying to get laid. Not necessary in that order though. It´s the pinnacle of male existence.
For folks who are introverted, overthinking, or have anxiety issues (all of the above for me), the standards of compatibility is extra high, otherwise the relationship will be stressful and conflicted. Since it is exceedingly difficult to find such a match, odds are that these folks are better off being single. Being single is fine, but if a good match is found, of course being in a relationship is better.
I'm most definitely happier when I'm single. I absolutely hate being a maid to anyone, especially a man. I have a former romantic partner living with me now, in the spare bedroom. He does his own laundry and he pays for a monthly housekeeper. It reduces arguments. I wish I could afford to kick him out but I need his rent money.
While some of these seem perfectly happy, the "I don't have to compromise" posts miss the point that you already are, as being in relationships can be rewarding as well. It is a balancing act. Also, damn the dumping on men thing is getting old. Geez. Not all men are mamma' boys and not all men are abusive... AND... Nobody is perfect, so that is out the window, sorry.
Not all men once again for the millionth time is a deflection. Ffs we all know that. And you think men are being dumped on too much? Are your rights being taken away? Are you in constant danger of becoming the enslaved raped incubator in the handmaids tale? Will you ever be charged w murder and go to prison if you use birth control? Well that's what women and little girls (rape victims) are looking at every single day and you're concerned bc someone doesn't want to be in a relationship w a man that whines about "not all men" when a post comes up about why people want to stay single?
Load More Replies...Not everyone wants to be married, not everyone wants to be alone. We are a very diverse species and should celebrate who we are.
Perhaps because it is more socially acceptable for a man to be single than for a woman to be single. Like how there's the whole spinster image for women, but not really an equivalent notion for men.
Load More Replies...I realised I was aro ace and was only trying to be in a relationship because I thought that was what you were "supposed to do". I'm so much happier now I know I never wanted or needed those things in my life.
I've married twice. Still am married. I really don't know if I married the wrong people or that I just prefer being single. Or that I bought into the idea that there's someone who could understand you and give a sense of love/meaning (not that person alone of course but contribute to). A mix of all three I guess. What I do know is that I was the most happy as single during my lifetime. Relationships often feel like they are much more work compared to what they give in return and I often feel more alone in relationships compared to when I'm on my own. I see nothing wrong with people choosing to be single all their lives.
If my marriage ever ends, I will remain single. I would not touch dating these days with a ten foot pole. It seems like a nightmare to be out in the dating world these days... and that is saying a lot because it wasn't a picnic before. I feel bad for those out there in the dating world, it seems utterly f*****g exhausting.
I'm 63 years old. Over the years, my bulls**t detector has become more and more accurate, and my willingness to put up with said bulls**t has dwindled to zero. I now live alone with my two rescue kitties, and we're very happy and content together.
my wife and i were together for more than 20 years before she realises she was gay. we had 3 kids and still have a good relation now but this really crushed me and destroy my desire to ever meet someone. i'd rather die alone than get the risk to live that kind of things again. i turn my need for intimacy with romance anime who gives me the warmth i need.
I lived alone for over 4 yrs from 23 to 28. It was the best time in my life. I read my journals from back then and see every day I was excited about the future and where it would take me. Things took a huge nose dive 2 weeks after I had my daughter and the post natal anxiety took over every aspect of my life. I had her when I was 30. I'm 50 now and I have not fully recovered. Once that anxiety took hold I've never been able to completely escape it and bc of that I developed depression. It's so weird when I think back about the person I used to be even 10 yrs ago, I don't even remotely relate. I don't even remember what she felt like or how she thought. my former self is a complete stranger.
When my kids were growing up, I was SO scared of being a colossal failure as a parent. It would have been SO much better for me and my kids if I had just RELAXED and tried to enjoy it instead of worrying so much.
Load More Replies...Been in relationships continuously since I was 23 and now decades later (won't say how many), I'm totally loving my first year alone. I can do what the f**k I want, I do not have to explain myself to a dictator, or get abused, or worry about how they feel about my friends or hobbies. Best of all! I can put up whatever f*****g artworks I want, without permission!! woohoo!
Got sick of putting all of the work in to make a relationship work, while the other person just takes. Acting as their babysitter is not fun and completely unfair if they're not willing to at least put in some effort on my behalf as well. Also, anxiety around sex as i'm apparently supposed to be some alpha that's always pressuring for it and if i'm not, it somehow means im not into them? I dont understand it. I'm concentrating on good friendships now, as they are way more important and more fulfilling than any romantic relationship i've been in. It's a lot better. And hopefully soon, a dog.
"putting all of the work in to make a relationship work" I don't know who needs to hear this but relationships are not supposed to require "work". If it requires work, then you are not compatible as a couple. It means your wants, needs, expectations are not the same.
Load More Replies...Single for almost 20 years and it has been the best time of my life. I aim to stay this way.
I'm a lesbian and I can't stand drama. Or neediness. Or having to deal with another person. People suck and I like being single.
Personally, my reasons are (1) I've never met someone who needed as much alone time as I do, which leads to constant friction; (2) I honestly don't want another person and their stuff in my small house, nor am I willing to move in to someone else's house; (3) My last relationship was abusive and I won't do that to myself ever again; and (4) I'm terrible at choosing partners and always feel like I'm being gradually erased as a person in order to be the equivalent of their personal assistant, maid, therapist, etc. I've never been happier than I am now, and I've been single for 8 years. I complete myself, thank you very much.
Aromantic asexual with asperger's syndrome - I am absolutely and very truly comfortable living on my own with my cats. Sometimes other people don't believe it; they are convinced that deep down inside I am lonely or missing something. I am not. It was the best realisation of my life that I DO NOT HAVE TO find and be with a partner at some point in my life. You have to find love, peace and happiness within yourself first. Only then you might look for a partner - if you like. If you expect another person to make you feel whole or give you all the love, care and attention that you need you are placing a burden on them that is not their job to carry. Nobody else is responsible for your development or well being - YOU are. Don't waste your time looking for somebody else to fix your issues. Always do the work yourself - and if you find a nice person or some fur or scale babies along the way to share your life and love with consider them a gift or a bonus and just enjoy it!
This list has solidified by decision to swear off men unless I find one that is really special
There's just people and people suck. Men and women. So don't hold your breath.
Load More Replies...So my problems are currently a sucky personality, bad looks, trust issues, fear of opening up, fear of intimacy, and depression. I understand I will probably be alone forever and I’ve accepted that (not happily but eh). Some poor guy or gal does not deserve my toxic a*s with issues up the whazoo.
For your own sake, not for the sake of getting a partner, get therapy if you can afford it. Self-respect is important too.
Load More Replies...I've got the best of both worlds: I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man, who treats me with respect and kindness and support. We're going through a difficult time at the moment (his health) but we are closer and love each other deeply. We don't live together but we live in the same building. I have my own place, have my own money, manage my own life; he does the same. We share the grocery money, though I do the shopping and cooking (again, his health issues). I think being together but apart is the way forward for many people after divorce/break ups. Neither of us would lose our home/possessions should we split up. We've been together for just over 2 years now, and blissfully happy.
I'm stressful and weird after two weeks in a relationship. I don't recognize myself.
I'm 50 now and am purposely single and childless. I realized in my early 30s that whenever I went out with a guy I ended up seeing the movie they wanted, or the restaurant they preferred. Unfortunately, I'm now staring down parenting my stubborn, elderly father for at least another 10 years. I love him, but he fights me on everything, resentful that his daughter has to take charge (or else his dishes never get done, he never eats healthy, weed lawn grows 5 feet tall, etc.).
Dating atm isn't a good idea for me at this time. Just not interested as things are hectic and I don't want to drag them down with me. This resulting in some unwanted drama and additional stress. If things cool down I do have mixed feelings. Also kind of part introvert and extrovert. Sure I enjoy being alone, but also it would be nice to come home to someone I can relate to and chill with em'. It's a nice idea for me to have a mate I can cuddle & share foods with. I respect folks decisions in their lives & personal endeavors.
the pandemic taught me id made the right move staying single. my small place was quiet and peaceful while couples forced to be stuck together were constantly fighting. no thank you
im a guy. ive been single my whole life, but the pandemic taught me id made the right move. my little apartment was quiet where there were several visits from the police to others in my building from couples nearly killing each other from being cooped up in lockdown.
I'm single... kind of. I'm never in a single committed relationship and never the serious exclusive type. Better that way, you do you and I do me. No hassle, no strings attached and more importantly no drama.
I'm asexual. I'm single in no small part due to the fact that other asexual people are hard to find, and straight men don't want a partner who will never ever have sex with them.
I love being single. Now at 62, all the baggage is gone, happily divorced for over 20 years and without a care in the world I spend my time riding my motorbike, drinking beer and trying to get laid. Not necessary in that order though. It´s the pinnacle of male existence.
For folks who are introverted, overthinking, or have anxiety issues (all of the above for me), the standards of compatibility is extra high, otherwise the relationship will be stressful and conflicted. Since it is exceedingly difficult to find such a match, odds are that these folks are better off being single. Being single is fine, but if a good match is found, of course being in a relationship is better.
I'm most definitely happier when I'm single. I absolutely hate being a maid to anyone, especially a man. I have a former romantic partner living with me now, in the spare bedroom. He does his own laundry and he pays for a monthly housekeeper. It reduces arguments. I wish I could afford to kick him out but I need his rent money.
While some of these seem perfectly happy, the "I don't have to compromise" posts miss the point that you already are, as being in relationships can be rewarding as well. It is a balancing act. Also, damn the dumping on men thing is getting old. Geez. Not all men are mamma' boys and not all men are abusive... AND... Nobody is perfect, so that is out the window, sorry.
Not all men once again for the millionth time is a deflection. Ffs we all know that. And you think men are being dumped on too much? Are your rights being taken away? Are you in constant danger of becoming the enslaved raped incubator in the handmaids tale? Will you ever be charged w murder and go to prison if you use birth control? Well that's what women and little girls (rape victims) are looking at every single day and you're concerned bc someone doesn't want to be in a relationship w a man that whines about "not all men" when a post comes up about why people want to stay single?
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