Sorry, parents, but your sons and daughters have secrets. Whether they don't want to upset you or are sick and tired of the "same old lecture," they keep some things to themselves. It's normal. And it doesn't mean they hate you or anything. Plus, there's a good chance that eventually they will open up to you. Probably. If you're treating them right.

Because as Reddit user 1quid_nurgget found out when they asked, "What is the biggest secret you've kept from your parents?", children often get back at their moms and dads by simply keeping their lives away from them. Yes, there were a few innocent answers, but they were mostly exceptions. Continue scrolling and take a look for yourself.

#1

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I told them that I was doing a extra on site learning course for uni in which I would be away for 31 days interstate. My husband sorted out the kids so he was fine.

I actually went to a residential rehab and got clean and sober. Didn’t tell them until I was released. They literally had no idea.

millypilly83 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Roman Hans
Community Member
1 month ago

GOOD. FOR. YOU!

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If you also are carrying big secrets with you, be careful. They hurt. Turns out, secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse health, and less satisfying relationships. Researchers have been linking secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, symptoms of poor health, and even the more rapid progression of disease. The explanation for this is kinda intuitive: hiding secrets is hard work. You have to be careful with what you say and if people ask you about something related to the secret, you must not let it slip through. This requires evasion and/or deception, which can be really exhausting.

#2

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I make more money than I let on. My parents have and will always be the "I take care of you all your life, time for you to pay it back" type of parent. Except there is no end to this "debt". So I hide money from them so they can't take advantage of me

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Cynner
Community Member
1 month ago

My mom did the same when she was young. I think it is smart.

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New research, however, suggests that the harm of secrets comes not from keeping it, but from having to live with it.

To better understand the harms of secrecy, scientists set out to understand what secrets people keep in the first place. They found that 97 percent of people have at least one secret at any given moment, and people have, on average, 13 secrets. A survey of more than 5,000 participants revealed that common secrets include preferences, desires, issues surrounding relationships and sex, cheating, infidelity and violations of others' trust.

The paper states that when a person confides a secret to a third party, it does not reduce how often they have to conceal the secret from others who are still kept in the dark. Rather, it reduces how often their mind ponders about the secret in irrelevant moments.

#3

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That my sister is gay. She openly admits it to everyone, except for my family. She opened up to me, eventually but both my parents and older brother don't know about it. Since then we've become a lot closer than when we were kids.

vkuma , Kylli Kittus Report

Tara Brooks
Community Member
1 month ago

I’m so glad she has you

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Revealing a secret can feel cathartic and relieving. But mere catharsis may not be enough. When confiding a secret, the conversation that follows is what's really helpful. People report that when they share a secret with another person, they often receive emotional support, useful guidance, and helpful advice. These forms of support make them feel more confident and capable in coping with carrying the secret. So it's important to talk about what you're hiding. Even with the Internet. Anonymously. A single conversation can lead to a healthier mind.

#4

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My mom always wondered why i didn't have friends in high school and it is because we were broke and I knew she was struggling so i refused anytime people wanted to do things so I wouldn't ask for money then in my last year of high school I worked full time so I had no time to make friends

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Roman Hans
Community Member
1 month ago

This could be me talking. Another anecdote: in high school, one class had a three-day field trip to Mexico. I remember the first restaurant stop we had where the teacher said of course we’d have to pay for all of our food. I had maybe $2 in my pocket.

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#5

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That I’m not going to finish my degree and I’ve paid off my student loans. My degree was pointless and I don’t do well in school due to my ADHD. My dad constantly asks when I’m going to finish and stop bartending...I just say soon. I hate disappointing them because my Dad gets very proud of my sister and I with our accomplishments...but truth be told, I’m quite content with the 60k I make bartending. My degree would've only pulled 35k starting.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

Time to say, "Dad, I found my niche in bartending, and it means I have more money and less debt. That's a good thing." We're not all meant for college-degree-career-things.

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#6

I am transgender. I haven't told literally anyone I know. I live in the bible belt in the south, and my grandfather is the pastor and owner of a fairly large church. I don't have any plans on telling anyone or transitioning until I move from the town I'm living in right now.

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Pepper Pots
Community Member
1 month ago

Be strong until then and remember you are not alone

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#7

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My location for the past 25 years.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

There are people in my family who haven't seen me in person for nearly 30 years, and I'm keeping it that way. Don't judge til you know why we hide. In my case, for my safety.

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#8

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I met the guy my mom told me was my real father. We did a DNA test and there is a 0% chance. He even took me on a white water rafting trip with his wife and son. I’ve never told her.

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Lousha
Community Member
1 month ago

Never liked the phrase "real parent" in this context. To my mind your REAL mother/father is the one who stuck with you and raised you and cleaned your bum when you were a baby. Biological parent is the one who contributed to your conception, but if that's all they did that doesn't make them an actual parent.

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#9

That I was molested as a kid and suicidal for years afterwards. They knew I had a nervous breakdown Freshman year of High School and was suicidal at 15, they didn't know I'd been messed up since I was 10.

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ML
Community Member
1 month ago

That is so sad

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#10

They had no idea I left my job with the cable company to sell cars / write up oil changes for almost a year. I was emotionally burnt out from the bulls**t and couldn't take it anymore so I tried switching careers. Didn't really pan out, but it did get me away from that toxic s**thole of a company and allowed me to figure out what I actually wanted to do and go from there.

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Cynner
Community Member
1 month ago

Good for you!!

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#11

My parents are very staunch Muslims. They raised me strictly in Islam and they figure that I’m a good Muslim like the rest of my siblings. I love my parents and they are good people, but I don’t have the heart to tell them that I’ve never really believed in religion and it only got worse when I got older and went to college. I don’t know how to keep this façade any longer because whenever I’m home I have to act as Muslim as possible, and I know if I would want them in my life I would have to follow Islamic traditions that just aren’t for me.

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Martha Meyer
Community Member
1 month ago

Maybe some of the siblings feel the same and are just pretending too?

Night Owl
Community Member
1 month ago

I seriously sometimes wonder how many people in this world are only pretending to be religious

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Farzana Essop
Community Member
1 month ago

Same here. I was being forced against my will. It made me hate the religion and God for years. Convinced myself o didn't believe in God anymore. But turns out I do believe in God I just don't believe in religion. It all feels like rules just meant to suppress the human spirit. Whatever your beliefs are or aren't the goal is happiness and peace

CatWoman312
Community Member
1 month ago

I have the same issue, but Christianity instead.

Saara .
Community Member
1 month ago

As a Muslim, I always wonder what non-American Muslims are talking about when they say "strict." Maybe it's cultural; my family is American and I love being a Muslim.

Joanne Haywood
Community Member
1 month ago

This is just one of many situations that can end in a so-called honour killing. There have been some in the Uk just because a female muslim has been dating a non-Muslim, refusing an arranged marriage or marrying someone who their parents don’t approve of.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

It's quite interesting how people denouncing religions get downvoted. "I'm a modern person and I think that everyone is entitled to his own opinion. BUT DON"T YOU DARE SAY THAT MY RELIGION ISN"T THE BEST GODD*MN RELIGION IN THE WORLD!!!"

Cathy Gaines
Community Member
1 month ago

I feel you! My Muslim in laws aren't really all that religious, but my husband still hides his beer, bacon, lack of fasting during Ramadan, and atheism

Pseudo Puppy
Community Member
1 month ago

having come from a family of multiple faiths / christian denominations.... I totally understand the pressure kids face from adults who want the kids to be "a good (insert faith here)"..... there comes a point where a choice needs to be made: to either continue the facade forever, or to stop. Both have repercussions. Both involve losses and stresses. It becomes a choice between which repercussions / losses / stresses will cause YOU the least problems in your life. It's often a lose-lose situation - you just have to choose which loss.

Rah Soft
Community Member
1 month ago

more common with younger muslims today than you think, I think its also partly due to changes in culture, especially if they move to parts of world where Islam is not the majority..

Lousha
Community Member
1 month ago

In some things there is no compromise. E.g. if you want a child more than anything and your partner really doesn't, you can't meet halfway. Either you find new partners and happiness, or one of you accepts the other's will and likely be miserable. Same with people who have deeply imbedded beliefs and feel that they can only accept others who share that. All you have is two choices: keep pretending so you can have a fake relationship and take bigger and bigger sacrifices, or tell them and accept that it might very well mean no more relationship.

Roland Gosselin
Community Member
1 month ago

Religion : overall rather counter-productive nowadays.

Mathieu Brouwers
Community Member
1 month ago

God did not create man, man created his gods. Don't get me wrong, (any) religion offers ethics and comfort to mankind.

Beatrice Multhaupt
Community Member
1 month ago

You've put your finger on my main issue with ALL organized religion: it's all about form, it's one big act. The pope is an impressario. I've felt this way since I witnessed a nun abuse a fellow student when we were in grade two in convent school. Don't feel guilty.

R L
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

My Mom was in a convent- she said some the nuns were terrible and ruled with an iron fist. She is still Catholic, but it has nothing to do with how the nuns treated them (most were great and respected)- they should have never been let loose near children, and give Catholics a bad name (like priests who abuse children- vile people).

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Ace Cole
Community Member
1 month ago

I hate that religion is forced onto children. If I have children I will teach them about religion with no bias and tell them they can follow whatever religion they want as long as they are a good person. (i.e don't hate others for race, religion, sexuality, gender identity, ect.)

Colleen Garland
Community Member
1 month ago

Would it be easer to talk to your Imam? I don't know how he would receive that either but he could maybe help you in some way. You can't follow a religious belief if you don't believe in it. I'm a fallen away C Catholic and I was raised pretty Catholic but they understood by then.

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 month ago

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jevais
Community Member
1 month ago

Very sad when you're forced to accept their way of life. Children aren't the property of the parents. One should let the their children choose the life they desire.

Darth Vader
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I am a Muslim. I once felt that but you have to believe in something to pass your life. Or just be a sick religionless but still Great and intelligent like Stephen Hawking.

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#12

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents When I was 12 I saw emails on my mom's iPod touch. The emails were very suggestive and were between my mother and another man. I never told my dad that I saw those emails. I wish I did, because it turned out that she was cheating on him.

This is the first time I've mentioned it to anyone. It feels good to get it off my chest.

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Megan Grey
Community Member
1 month ago

That’s really hard, but please know that it wasn’t your job or responsibility to tell her.

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#13

I want to be a dental surgeon, but my parents want me to go to school for a crackpot antivaxx "holistic" naturopathic doctor because they don't trust modern medicine. I'm afraid that if I tell them, They well refuse to pay for my college/dental school expenses, or worse, disowned.

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Pepper Pots
Community Member
1 month ago

Wow, that is sad. Follow your heart

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#14

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents They have a grandchild.

FBI_Agent_69 , Guillaume de Germain Report

Micah Patchen
Community Member
1 month ago

My mom has never met her grandson and my dad has stopped talking to us the past six months because his catfish girlfriend is more important than his only child and only grandchild. Jackasses

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#15

They don't know how depressed I actually am.

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kjorn
Community Member
1 month ago

i guess it's a lot of people

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#16

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My parents divorced when I was eight. My dad left, and I never saw much of him. Among other issues, he came out to my brother and I before they divorced. I never told my mother that he was gay. My father passed in 2011, my mother in 2017. I think she had an idea, but we never discussed it. He was born in 1945, before such a thing was accepted, and attempted at 'passing.'

Merkle85 , Ben White Report

Iulia stratulat
Community Member
1 month ago

Why wouldn’t you tell? I can imagine that this would be a release of pressure on the parent that got dumped if they knew that it wasn’t their fault and it was just biology.

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#17

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That I'm a lesbian. And that that "friend" who I don't invite home anymore is actually my ex...

Somenerdyfag , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Holly D
Community Member
1 month ago

Its sad that people have to hide things like this from family or anybody

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#18

Just how abusive my ex was.

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Holly D
Community Member
1 month ago

Same here!

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#19

i just pay escorts to show as my 'girlfriend' so they would stop telling their friends to hook me up with their daughters.
every gathering they would show up meet everyone and always have to leave early.
i pay by hour.

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nanashi
Community Member
1 month ago

as an ace, I feel this. they don't WANT to understand why I would never date, so I had to go all the way to pretend and lie just to make them feel better.

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#20

This isn't too bad, but I never really want to have kids. Maybe one day that might change, but I haven't told my parents as they both seem so happy to think that one day they'll be grandparents and that I'll be a mother and we'll all be happy and - Mum? I already have enough stress.

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Lousha
Community Member
1 month ago

As someone who did tell them about a million times for years: all you get for sharing is constant talks about how you'll change your mind eventually or you'll regret it bitterly when it's gonna be too late to have a kid.

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#21

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents That I thought I have mental problems but I keep pushing it down and trying to fix it myself, because I think that people will think its for the attention and it makes me question myself but I try to be normal.

Roket200678 , Soon Report

Martha Meyer
Community Member
1 month ago

Just go see a therapist. That's a neutral person, who won't think it's attention seeking.

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#22

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My mom has made derogatory comments about lesbian/bi women. I think that if I came out as bi she'd make it seem like she'd accept it, but deep down she wouldn't really. I don't think I'll ever be coming out fully.

MuchoMarsupial , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

I feel bad for this person.

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#23

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I recorded Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz over my sister's high school graduation video.

It's been about 18 years, but I still feel bad.

sheldonowns , InspiredImages Report

Matthew White
Community Member
1 month ago

sorta funny if you think about it

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#24

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I’ve read or written fan fiction since I was 16 years old. I have no idea what they thought I was laughing at on my laptop for the last ten years but I’m glad they didn’t know the truth. Some of it is preeeeetty explicit.

something-sensible , You X Ventures Report

JuJu
Community Member
1 month ago

Only my partner knows and a close friend. And I know people who have read my stuff.

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#25

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I was a high functioning depressed alcoholic for my whole college life.

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jamie1707
Community Member
1 month ago

So many were.

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#26

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents When I was at Walmart with my mom, and I stole 2 of those big cartons full of Pokemon Cards. Took the cards and stuffed them in my backpocket. I planned the whole robbery a week before. I was the best robber at 9.

j-benz , Kichigai Mentat Report

I'm lay sheep in China
Community Member
1 month ago

Once me,my mum and Grandma was in a shop and they're selecting Jewelry for themselves while I was holding a Headpiece. It was quite expensive and that exactly moment Electricity goes off. We're wait for few minutes before Electricity came after shopping on the way to our house my mommy Was mad at me for returning that Headpiece to Shop staff anyway Guys don't let your kids teach to steal anything ;)

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#27

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I actually DID know why my laptop wasn't working. I spilt a fair bit of Jack Daniel's on it.

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Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki
Community Member
1 month ago

So, your laptop was drunk. Just give it a night to sober up.

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#28

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents My mum doesn't know I've been arrested twice, one time with my dad.

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Brigs
Community Member
1 month ago

Some serious issues in that family!

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#29

Secrets-People-Keep-From-Parents I have an eating disorder. I’ve had one since I was 11, and I even went to the hospital for it. They still don’t know.

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Jo Morris
Community Member
1 month ago

When you were 11 (a child) your parents/family don't know why you went to hospital?

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#30

I know that my mom’s cheating on my dad. He doesn’t know it’s happening (to my knowledge) and she doesn’t know that I know.

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Bardhi's Dad
Community Member
1 month ago

Tel her you know. That may change that unpleasant situation

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