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These 45 Secrets Completely Changed How Netizens Saw Someone They Thought They Knew
Finding out a secret about someone can be a bit like accidentally opening a door you were never meant to peek behind. One minute, everything’s normal, and the next, your entire perception of that person quietly shifts forever. Sometimes it’s hilarious, sometimes it’s unsettling, and sometimes you just wish you didn't have to know at all.
From awkward realizations to jaw-dropping revelations, netizens shared the moments they discovered something about someone else that completely changed how they saw them without the other person ever knowing. Naturally, we sifted through the responses and gathered the most surprising, awkward, funny, and downright unsettling ones for you to read through.
More info: Reddit
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#1
I found my partners reddit account. They never got over their first love and are sending intimate texts thru reddit chat. Broke my heart. I never thought I'd have to worry about them straying.
RELATED:
#2
Learned a friend who flakes a lot is dealing with chronic pain. I stopped keeping score after that.
#3
I found out my 'work mentor'—who I thought was advocating for my promotion—was actually telling upper management I wasn't ready so he could keep me doing his grunt work.
I saw the emails on his open laptop when he went to the bathroom. I never said a word, just quietly found a new job and left him with a 2-week notice and zero documentation.
According to Psychologs, people tend to keep secrets as a way to protect something important, whether that’s themselves, their relationships, or their sense of control and identity. Fear often plays a major role, as the potential for judgment, rejection, or conflict can feel far more threatening than the benefits of full honesty.
They also explain that many secrets involve things that clash with how individuals want to see themselves or be perceived by others, such as mistakes, vulnerabilities, or socially taboo thoughts. By keeping these hidden, people preserve an image of being capable, moral, or "okay". In other cases, secrecy simply reflects a desire for privacy and personal autonomy.
#4
My grandma let it slip that my very conservative, churchgoing, very bougie Kate-Gosselin-haired WASP mother was a huge wild party girl in her younger years. My flabbers were thoroughly gasted that day.
Rick Murray 3 hours ago
Mom went to Woodstock (yes, that Woodstock). She was always fairly "proper" but she wasn't afraid of shutting down annoying teenagers by pointing out that things happened in the sixties that they couldn't even imagine. 😂 Oh, and for extra epic points, she went there and back (from MD) riding the rear of a Harley with a guy called Wizard. She didn't know him, they were both going the same way and, well... He was a perfect gentleman too. I can't imagine something like that happening these days. Just the right place and the right time.
#5
Used to think a patient was really snooty and standoffish. Learned she was in the middle of separating from her violent husband, while both his family and her own family hound her to stay with him (because of the extremely strict religion they all practice).
#6
This actually is still unfolding, but a friend I’ve known for a few years just went through a messy breakup. They only dated for 1 month but I really felt for her. She was so upset and I did think she was lovebombed and mistreated. But then she shared screenshots. He was being unfairly cruel and abrupt in their break up. “Do not call me ever again” “do not come to my house” “I do not care about the stuff you have of mine”
Uhhh… well those raised an eyebrow for me. Her story and the cropped shots of his texts that I saw did not add up to the story she gave me.
**because she is full blown stalking him**
Like- true crime podcast level stalking. Anyway, I’m trying to figure out now how to cut ties w/o agitating her.
When it comes to discovering these secrets, The British Psychological Society highlights that people often discover others’ secrets not through intentional spying, but through surprisingly mundane moments. Casual remarks, accidental oversharing, forgotten browser tabs, messages seen out of context, or simply spending enough time around someone can reveal more than intended.
They note that these unplanned discoveries highlight how secrecy isn’t always undone by curiosity, but by everyday proximity and small human slips that expose hidden information without anyone actively looking for it.
#7
I had a tough boss that I wasn't gelling with. I could recognize he was being tough on me to help me reach my potential, but I also felt like it wasn't his place to go as far as it felt like he was. I was frustrated one weekend and managed to find his reddit account, the one he's been posting with a couple times a year since he was in college a decade or so ago. He struggled with a lot of the same uncertainty around relationships, career, politics we all do in our 20s. Humanized him for me and it helped me understand that it was his first time living too.
Nikki Sevven 4 hours ago
I love the sentiment, "It's my first time living too." It reminds others that age does not necessarily confer wisdom, and that we're all just winging it.
#8
I had a classmate in grades 4 and 5 who smelled so horrible, you could smell her from 2 meters away. No one wanted to be her friend because she smelled bad. She got bullied for being overweight as well as her entire family, with her parents being obese. She disappeared randomly one day.
20 years later, I find out that my friend's kid is good friends with her kid. I checked out her profile and found a post explaining what an awful childhood she had with alcoholic parents, her dad hurting her and eventually being taken into foster care. Her parents hadn't paid the bills which is why she never took showers. I felt really awful after learning that.
Sally Moen 1 hour ago
I love seeing stories about kids growing up out of neglect and @buse then succeeding as adults. That's a kick in the rear to their parents for treating them that way. Success really is the best revenge
#9
I used to socialize with the head of HR at the company I was working for. My best friend, who also worked at the same company, and I and a few other people would get together pretty frequently.
This head of HR was really cool. Funny, smart, fair. She was also a fundie Christian and for the first time I thought here’s a person who just lives their faith, but not in an obnoxious way. She probably thought I was going to hell for being gay, but she never said a word to me. Just seemed to accept and enjoy me for who I am.
So about 3 years into this friendship, I find out that her husband, who I also liked a lot, had been previously married and had a daughter. But here’s the thing. The HR woman made her husband never see or talk about his daughter. HR woman and her husband had two daughters of their own who obviously didn’t know a thing about the existence of a half sister. No one knew about any of this at our company.
I’ve never felt such revulsion toward someone I’d considered a friend. It was shocking and I couldn’t stand to be around her anymore. I never confronted her, and I remained polite and professional, cause she was still the head of HR. But man was it a shock.
Still, keeping important information hidden in close relationships can weaken trust and emotional closeness, especially when the secrecy breaks shared expectations or unspoken agreements between partners. Psychology Today emphasizes that when something significant is withheld, it can create distance and uncertainty, even if it’s never openly addressed.
That said, they also add that not all secrecy is harmful. Maintaining a degree of privacy can sometimes support intimacy by preserving personal boundaries and a sense of autonomy. Whether secrecy damages or protects a relationship depends largely on what is being kept hidden, the motivation behind it, and each person’s attachment style and past relationship experiences.
#10
I worked in a dentist's reception when I was younger and there was one extremely stonefaced and what I thought of as rude patient who never returned a smile and always announced herself with extreme rbf. I tried to be extra nice and welcoming but always got the same preceived rudeness back.
After one visit a caveat popped up in her journal: "Facial paralysis".
Don't know why I never considered that an option, even though I myself grew up with a disabled parent and felt that I was aware enough. Changed the way I think about people's back stories and personal challenges.
#11
My good buddy has been cheating on his wife. She knows. Nobody knows that I know and I've told no one. It awful, it's a behavior I strongly disagree with in someone I thought I knew well, and really respected. His wife is lovely, kind and supportive of him.
Rick Murray 3 hours ago
I've seen this in some people I peripherally know (close enough to know, not close enough to be my problem). Lovely, cute, and supportive wives and they go and cheat. What the hell? I'd be ecstatic if a girl like that looked at me *once* and they...have her and break her heart. B@stards!
#12
I recently learned that one of my manager whom I actially like because he's sound and actually very helpful if needs to be, is in his 4th marriage, has 8 kids, and don't know any of their birthdays, ages, or sometimes even names...
I mean... What the hell?...
Just as the stories show, a single secret can completely overturn how someone is perceived when it carries strong emotional weight and feels "diagnostic", meaning it suddenly explains past behavior in a new way. Rocket Health emphasize that humans naturally place greater emphasis on moral and negative information when judging character, so revelations involving trust or ethics tend to hit especially hard.
Rather than existing alongside earlier impressions, a powerful new fact reshapes them. They note that research also shows that when new information reframes previous actions, people often reinterpret earlier moments through this updated lens, sometimes reversing long-held opinions almost instantly as the entire narrative about that person changes.
#13
This is very much me. I have chronic pain (fibro, endo, degenerative disc disease) and I can’t keep friends because I can’t walk around without hurting and for medical reasons I’m unable to drink any alcohol.
I’m already very much introverted but I’ve given up on meeting new people because I don’t know how bad I’ll be hurting (and have to cancel) during future meetups.
I’m only 25 and considering the years ahead feels very, very lonely at times… I wish I had friends, I really do. I feel as though life is passing me by and I am too much of a shut in, too aching to do anything about it.
To anyone reading this: if you know someone with chronic pain, please give them a little more grace and patience. The pain is so real and it affects every aspect of our life ❤️
Edit: Thank you so, so, so much for everyone who reached out and was supportive, offering to be my friend and chat together. The support is overwhelming, thank you so much for all your kind words ❤️❤️❤️.
Bi.Felicia 1 hour ago (edited)
As I'm reading this while lying on a heating pad because my back has been kîllîng me lately, like way more than the usual, everyday pain. I have degenerative disc disease, like OP, I was diagnosed when I was 19/20 years old and I'm 40 now. I literally feel for OP. 🫶
#14
A couple I know has taken multiple pets in a fairly short time (8 pets in a year and half). One of them is a small dog. From what I saw they take good care of them, but I’m not sure how they afford it as they’re both on disability (not physically disabled). Basic vet checkups and vaccinations are expensive as is.
However I noticed that they walk the dog quite rarely and most of the time just let it out for a quick toilet break outside then “play” with it inside. One day I was watching their daughter and I asked if they would like me to walk the dog since I’m taking the daughter to a park. They looked horrified and said no no no. I was weirded out but just said ok.
Once we got to the park the girl said that the parents didn’t want neighbors/people to really know about the dog. I asked why is that and she said “we’re not allowed to have one, I can’t tell my friends about it either”.
Come to find out they have a permanent ban on pet ownership by the court because of poor living conditions, neglect and mistreatment of pets they had long before I knew them. The guy had previously beaten a dog for peeing inside after being left alone for 24h and a neighbour witnessed it happening in the backyard.
Now I can’t see them as good people and it has changed how I see them. Needless to say I reported them having the pets. Reading the animal mistreatment report has absolutely scarred me.
Nikki Sevven 4 hours ago
My older dog is having age-related incontinence. If she's taken out every few hours, she's fine. But overnight is tough for her. We use puppy pads, and she took to them quickly. No shame. Just care and love.
#15
Had a boss who everyone hated. Just unnecessarily mean, often dressed down employees in front of everyone, super demanding, never acknowledged good stuff, and was just generally disliked by everyone.
Except one employee who had been with the company for over a decade, who adored the boss. Was a real head scratcher.
I learned that many years prior, said employee had gotten trashed at the company Christmas Party, and punched the boss in the face.
Instead of firing the employee, the boss personally paid for a stint in rehab. The employee was apparently quite the alcoholic.
To this day my brain can’t really reconcile that decision with the complete jerk I worked for.
Michael Largey 5 hours ago
Being wrong about everything is unlikely as being right about everything.
At the end of the day, learning something new about someone can quietly rewrite the story you’ve been telling yourself about them. A single secret whether big or small, can turn admiration into doubt, indifference into understanding, or familiarity into something far more complicated.
Of course, everyone carries things they don’t share, and not every secret is a deal-breaker. Some revelations inspire empathy, others raise eyebrows, and a few make you rethink entire relationships. So as you read through these stories, you might find yourself wondering how much we ever truly know about the people around us, and what secrets of yours might be quietly changing someone else’s perspective, without you ever realizing it.
#16
I found out from a cousin nearly 20 years ago that my mom had been married and divorced before marrying my dad and having me. There were no children from the marriage and I don't know any of the details, but it must have happened sometime between 1969 and 1976.
My mom doesn't know that I know and I've never brought it up. I assume there's a reason she never talked about it and if she ever wants me to know about it, she'll tell me herself.
Michael Largey 5 hours ago
Years after he died, I found out that my father had been engaged to another woman before my mother. I don't think mom ever knew.
#17
One of my friends has an excel spreadsheet that is filled with all his friends with their likes, dislikes and similar stuff like that. There is even a scoring system how likely he wants to hang out with people. I was scored a two out of ten. I just thought he liked his space and thought nothing of it. It dawned on me that the only times he wanted to hang out was when other people were involved or he needed something.
I only found out about the spreadsheet because he asked me to fix something on his computer and I saw a file on the desktop called "friendship score card".
Michael Largey 5 hours ago
After finding that spreadsheet, OP could have done all sort of interesting things to the "friend's" computer.
#18
A second cousin of mine projects the perfect family, life online with her amazing catch of a husband. I found out he was married and they had an affair. His poor first wife even confronted them in public and they had been married less than a year.
#19
My roommate is an absolutely cool and considerate person but they’re 14 years older than they say they are.
Sally Moen 1 hour ago
My elderly relative moved to my state, married again to a younger spouse who was misinformed about their age. At their death the headstone and obituary gave birthdate as 12 years later than real one. 20 years married, their spouse did not know the real age of their spouse!
#20
This super tardy classmate I had in college, was working two jobs outside school. That's why when he's in class, he's always sleeping, and was always uncooperative with activities. He was exhausted. Never told anyone since he seemed like he didn't want anyone to know.
#21
Learned a young friend who I thought was motivated and had it together has OCD and bouts of anxiety. Their medication works however it explains a few things I've noticed about their behaviour. Still think they'll go far in life though. They give off that "never give up" vibe.
#22
I had a weird feeling about a lady who started working with us a few months ago. I get along with everyone but I just did not like this lady even though she’s always been nice to me. I ended up finding out she is notorious for trying to sleep with her coworkers husbands.
#23
My best friend from my hometown called the Dave Ramsey show and it aired. I use to be an avid listener when I was trying to tackle my own debt. I recognized her voice immediately. I had no idea she was in so much debt.
#24
My mum and dad were really my aunt and uncle and my aunt and uncle were really my mum and step dad.
Bi.Felicia 1 hour ago
Oh wow, that's interesting, wonder what age they were when they found out?
#25
My ex's brother got drunk one night and told me about how my ex accidentally ended his mum when he was 13.
Up until that point I had been told she was gone because of alcoholism.
It answered a lot of questions I had about his behaviour, but he actually really scared me quite a few times. His attitude towards women was honestly really strange.
You had to both be just like his mum but also nothing like his mum and also treat him like he was a child but also that's patronising and he is a MAN who would have literal tantrums with foot stomping of he didn't get his way. He also "accidentally" hit me once as well and knocked me over.
Ended up having to leave the country to get away from him, he stalked me online until I had to call the police in my home country as he was threatening to show up at my apartment.
#26
I worked with a guy for years and only found out he was an ultra marathon runner by reading the news about a race he won.
#27
Not so much a secret and pretty trivial, but it still sticks with me. I saw an acquantance who I thought relatively highly of not return their cart to the corral at the grocery store. I'm still in disbelief of how much that changed how I view them.
#28
My friend who I always thought was decent and prudish, kept complaining about guys being perverts and hitting on her. Then one day, a very overweight guy, we both knew, messaged me, asking me if my friend was interested in him. I said no, he sent me a video where she was slowly and provocatively licking an ice cream cone and grinning while doing it. He told me she would send him such videos all the time. He felt very uncomfortable and asked me not to tell her that we talked about this. I promised him I wouldn't. So basically she's making guys think she's interested, so they respond and she can be like oh look they are hitting on me. Once we were outside and she would buy an ice cream cone, filming herself again while eating it. Her explanation was "I just want to test the camera effects". She doesn't know I know.
Tabitha 47 minutes ago (edited)
Teasing like that can put her in real danger if she leads on then trash talks the wrong guy. I’m not being sexist, I’m a woman too, now an old woman, and I have sen the results of this kind of risky behavior. It was potentially dangerous before the internet, and it’s only gotten exponentially more dangerous now that so many people lack basic impulse control and simply act out without thinking—-and I’m talking about supposedly mature adults who should have decently developed critical thinking skills. So I’m just trying to warn her that she’s playing with fire and is really risking getting badly burned. Not everyone is nice and will just let it go. Someone out there is going to take what she’s doing and make her pay for it. Whether it’s one of the men, or one of the men’s girlfriend, or someone else entirely, someone will not take her treatment very well. It was never a nice thing to do to people anyway, and had its own risks even back in the day, and now it’s just downright dangerous.
#29
I used to be really involved with the family of one of my close friends. Her father was one of my favourite people, he was just so funny and caring and the way he treated his wife was so special, there was just this charismatic energy that really drew you in… and then one day I found out from his daughter (my friend) he had been leaving love notes to his wife’s sister (who was also her best friend) about being in love with her and wanting to run away together etc. the sister told him never to send them to her again and get back to loving his wife. I couldn’t look at him the same after that. I started to see his charisma was a facade. Over time I slowly distanced from the family because I also couldn’t look at the mother the same. I don’t believe my friend ever told her mother. I don’t think anyone did. Theyre still married and the wife’s sister still spends all her time with them, I just cannot imagine it.
#30
Got to know a friend has a hard relationship with her family due to her brothers’ use of illegal substances and attention seeking patterns. I stood by her through everything even when she needed me at 2 am to vent it all out. It’s been 7 years to us being best friends.
#31
I saw a friend of mine - who is a devoted Christian man who preaches the gospel and has a female partner - making out with a a transgender woman. Never said a word to anyone except today on Reddit.
Michael Largey 5 hours ago
The contradiction to genuine Christian values is not the transgender relationship, but the infidelity.
#32
My grandad forced gran to abort their 3rd child for money reasons even though they were doing ok. She always wanted a girl. Then I was born and she helped my dad take me from my own mum and forced her way into raising me. She did a lot of damage but hurt people, hurt people.
#33
Found out someone I used to dislike was actually covering for a sibling all the time. Changed my whole read on their priorities.
#34
I found out someone who always joked and smiled was quietly paying off a sibling’s medical bills.
Michael Largey 5 hours ago
This shouldn't have altered the OP's view of the person, but confirmed it.
#35
Had a friend I met through an old job move to the city we both used to live in (I indirectly convinced her to move there some months after I arrived) and she had some bad habits, a drinking problem, could be a bit manipulative and reckless with the idea that fate or life would just cover for her b******t. Anyways, within just a few months of moving to the city she shaved her head and began partying too much she lost her wallet on K and a friend and I had to go searching for it in and around the venue we were at, she'd skip work a lot (I got her a job where I worked too, maybe a bad idea) and she got to the point she was dumpster diving for bagels from a local place because she couldn't afford groceries all while asking me for $10 for beers after work which I said no to.
None of this was the secret in question OP, but over a year later I found out she suddenly moved away back then and had shaved her head because she got caught stealing her neighbors amazon packages and she was worried she'd get arrested. She flew away in an emergency back to the city we had originally met in. It was a wreck. I knew she was messy, but it really flipped something in me that I found out she not only stole from people around her like this, but never said anything to me about it, and acted like such a victim and was so sorry for herself at the time everything was happening. She still doesn't know that I know. Found out through a mutual friend later on.
#36
There's a lady that is pretty big on the charity scene in my area. She has the image of a good Christian woman. My company cleaned for her and I overheard an incredibly racist conversation she was having. NDA bound or I would blast her publicly. Best I can do right now is quietly influence my networking groups and companies I work with not to use her or take her money.
#37
I pieced together that my work friend who I have a crush on was sleeping with our mutual work friend, who is married. Going by some of her vague Facebook posts I'm pretty sure she also had a major feelings crashout over him. Feels bad man! She might actually suspect or at least wonder if I know, just because I'm friends with him too, but she and I are both super private and avoidant and would never, ever talk about anything like that.
Probably for the best I know about it, at least from my end, because I'm in no state of mind right now to get into a relationship anyway, and knowing she could even do some stuff like that made me realize that's no one I should be with even if she was interested. But sadly you can't logic your way out of a crush.
#38
Produce manager at the local grocery store never washed her hands after using the bathroom. Big nope.
#39
A friend of mine was dating an awesome dude. He was into… receiving number 2. Luckily I only had to see him once after learning that. .
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Rick Murray 3 hours ago
The problem with your life being a lie is you have to remember what you told each person, and how to reconcile when people talk amongst themselves. Seems like so much trouble for... for what? My life might be boring to the point of súck, but I don't have to lie about who or what I am.
Rick Murray 3 hours ago
The problem with your life being a lie is you have to remember what you told each person, and how to reconcile when people talk amongst themselves. Seems like so much trouble for... for what? My life might be boring to the point of súck, but I don't have to lie about who or what I am.
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