"As per my last e-mail." "A few things..." "While I understand your urgency..." If you recognize any of these, you're probably familiar with office language. It's clunky. It's repetitive. But once you become fluent at it, you start noticing little nuances that make it a bit more exciting. Like the passive-aggressive phrases people throw at each other to make life harder than it should be.

Recently, writer, producer, and social media consultant Delia Paunescu asked Twitter to list the best/most insufferable work gibberish, and holy coffee-machine-small-talk, did everyone deliver! Scroll down to check them out and upvote your faves!

More info: Twitter

#1

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

ghost_Mk1 Report

Human #1,232,867
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I'm on number 4 now, but I love it so much. If only I could use the second part directly instead of a "Just to clarify"

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The confusing maze of office lingo is one of the reasons why an estimated 2.9 billion people of the 3 billion who go to work every day of avoid making small talk with their colleagues. However, this can cost them a promotion.

Jamie Terran, a licensed career coach in New York City, told The New York Times that small talk between colleagues and supervisors builds rapport, which in turn builds trust. “Rapport is the feeling that allows you to extend a deadline, or overlook smaller mistakes, because it makes it easy for you to remember we’re only human. Right or wrong, building rapport through interaction with colleagues could be the thing that gets you the promotion or keeps you in the role you’re in.”

#2

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

karsoe Report

Daria B
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Well, regardless of that, it sounds indeed like a very anxiety inducing working environment....

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Luckily, turning your anxiety about making small talk with your co-workers into worrying about not making small talk with your co-workers is definitely possible. Of course, it's easier said than done, but we have to understand that while small talk can be a nightmare, the lack of it can make us miserable as well. I mean, isn't the ability to truly connect with a fellow team member, one that can really understand your daily struggles, something worth working for? Especially when you consider that failure to do so can get you kicked out when the time comes for someone to get sacked. Just some food for thought!

#3

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

briana9 Report

DforDorothy
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Once I forwarded some company bills to accounting BO,after that they asked me to help about some lost bills in person.Went up, accounting staff there,and I told the one I forwarded the mail beforehand that she has them there. Asks me back where. I had to tell her in front of everyone,that since it's not MY email we are looking at,but hers,she should now it. I had to look for the title from my messages on my phone,to help her find it among her emails....it was already read. 😒 From that on, accounting BO believes me when I say I already sent them something. 🙃

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#4

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

FerretXilla Report

Human #1,232,867
Community Member
2 weeks ago

= I don't care

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#5

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

MitchDinkins Report

Aldhissla VargTimmen
Community Member
2 weeks ago

When my husband started working he wondered why the person in the room next to him would send an email for something small instead of just walking two steps and ask or tell in person. After a few incidents where people insisted he never told them about something he now does this all the time himself, just to have proof he did actually tell something...

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#6

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

DPMCanty Report

Mira Maier
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I'm currently on a project where the developers and planners have the policy, that every mail needs to be sent to everyone remotely involved on the topic and you can't even change the distribution when you answer. So e.g. 35 people get even the "Thank you" answers to any small topic.

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#7

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

sugabillionaire Report

Tiari
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I use it more like „there is respect, but not because you earned it but because I have to respect you or else I have no job“.

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#8

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

ScienceEtGadoue Report

Human #1,232,867
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Usually, I keep this way when they own me money, but clearly want to yell at them

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#9

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

BariAWilliams Report

Ripley
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I've worked with people who will send something at 4.45pm and say "I need this for a customer meeting at 9 tomorrow". If you help them once, then they never need to be organised ever again, because they have their patsy. "I'm sorry, but I have a [insert important-sounding appointment] that I just can't miss" works well, followed up with "for future reference, I really need more notice". They don't like it, but they usually learn from it.

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#10

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

Jamie7Keller Report

Human #1,232,867
Community Member
2 weeks ago

..Cause I spent 2 hours preparing this quote for you and you did not even dare to say thanks for this offer during the past week ...

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#11

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

telaryn Report

kasa alex
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I love 'thanks in advance' - I use it in so many more occasions than just the office haha

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#12

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

jaawerth Report

tuzdayschild
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Raise your hand if "Hope that helps!" ever has.

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#13

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

VProofreader Report

Human #1,232,867
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Great exposure!

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#14

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

Lindsay_Wells_ Report

Jon S.
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Oh this is a good one, I'm using it today! I didn't know how to say 'I don't understand your words' politely

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#15

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

AmandaCateFiver Report

Peter Bear
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I use this one all the time in discussions with management. Because I know the policies better than they do, most times.

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#16

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

Wrong_Pines Report

Dilly Millandry
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I used to have a boss with the most appalling memory. Did use it once to my advantage by pretending I'd told him something and as he was the worst boss I only feel slightly guilty. His fault in part for never writing things down. He used to think we were still in the 70s during the 90s.

#17

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

AlishaGrauso Report

It's me NOT mario
Community Member
2 weeks ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

haha them BIG nOob

#18

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

yvonnezlam Report

AlphaPuck
Community Member
2 weeks ago

How is this passive aggressive? Sometimes the question literally takes 2 seconds to ask. Are there people that really think this has a deeper meaning?

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#19

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

themelaniedione Report

tuzdayschild
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I recall this differently, or...stop lying!

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#20

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

koolmoebri Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited)

Answer: If you need a recap, I suggest you write it and send it to me for approval.

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#21

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

NicoleRY2 Report

Miranda Panda
Community Member
2 weeks ago

HA!!

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#22

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

AhmadChildress Report

Katherine Boag
Community Member
2 weeks ago

In non-US countries to table something means to START discussing it, as in "put all your cards on the table".

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#23

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

AlishaGrauso Report

Jenica Thomas
Community Member
2 weeks ago

My boss is famous for answering YES or NO to questions that are NOT, in fact, yes or no questions. Which forces us to follow up with a "just to clarify" email.

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#24

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

naima Report

Dilly Millandry
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Sometimes I'm crap at explaining. So I have written this and meant it.

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#25

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

ATT Report

bryguy
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I used to do this when working from home, in the other room making coffee until they ask me something. *runs back* "Oh sorry, was talking on mute the whole time"

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#26

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

DaveWritesJunk Report

Fixin'Ta
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Need some context for this one. Freelancer? Contractor?

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#27

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

jaykayokay2020 Report

Random Panda
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Or it's just a polite way of saying "I hope your day goes well"?? Why is everyone here so paranoid?

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#28

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

iamdover Report

Steve Cruz
Community Member
1 week ago

What's wrong with this, sounds like a recap. "Thank you. I'll proceed with "A" and send you a proof by noon tomorrow. Should I keep going while you're proofing or wait for approval?"

#29

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

meralee727 Report

Seabeast
Community Member
2 weeks ago

We were actually told to hire the CEO's nephew right from the start, but had to go through the motions of pretending to open the position to everyone."

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#30

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

LuvFuzzyBunnies Report

Bill
Community Member
2 weeks ago

A good boss delegates.

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#31

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

Hannah_Sedg Report

Magpie
Community Member
2 weeks ago

"Moving forward.." I am tired of you telling me this story already, I don't need details , can we cut to the chase PLEASE today even??

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#32

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

MindaHarts Report

Seabeast
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Could also mean "We don't really have a clear idea of what we want or what the person doing this job will have responsibility for."

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#33

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

loafingcactus Report

Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I mean it sincerely when I say this, not passive aggressively.

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#34

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

baddestmamajama Report

Steve Cruz
Community Member
1 week ago

The translation is passive/aggressive, not the statement.

#35

Saying-Simple-Things-Corporate-Way-Meanings

WhismanSucks Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 weeks ago

Or: "Here's a massive problem that I have created. Good luck with it."

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