Daughter Refuses To Share Her Bedroom With Mom’s 14 Y.O. Brother, Parents Are Furious
Interview With Expert
Every one of us knows what the teenage years entail. We are changing, have our own strong opinions and obviously, need privacy and boundaries. While in childhood, sharing a room with our siblings was the best, now it’s weird and we can’t wait to have our own rooms. But you know what’s even more weird? Sharing a room with your mom’s 14 Y.O. brother who you have never even met.
With this situation, one 17 Y.O. Reddit user took her story online asking folks if she’s in the wrong for refusing to share her room with her mom’s brother despite being forced by her parents.
More info: Reddit
Sharing a room with people who you have never met is weird, even if they are a relative
Image credits: Connor James (not the actual photo)
The teen shared that her mom’s 14 Y.O. brother is moving in and while there’s one free bedroom in the house, her parents insist that she must share her bedroom with him
Image credits: Kenny Eliason (not the actual photo)
The teen added that she doesn’t want to share her bedroom with him as she has never even met him and has her boyfriend over often
Image credits: Skylar Kang (not the actual photo)
The day before his arrival, she got into a big fight with her parents after she locked her door and refused to let her parents in to put his mattress there
Image credits: Throwaway_11153
The same thing happened after the boy arrived, leading to silent treatment from the teen’s mom and dad’s comments that she is being selfish
Recently one Reddit user took her story online asking community members if she’s being a jerk for refusing to share her room with her mom’s 14 Y.O. brother, who she doesn’t even know, as he’s moving in with them. The post caught a lot of attention and received almost 4K upvotes and 1.6K comments.
The original poster (OP) shares that her mom’s little brother is moving in with them. While she doesn’t have a problem with it, she really doesn’t want to share a room with him. She also adds that in their home, there is one available bedroom in the basement, where she thought he would be sleeping. Well, apparently he’s afraid of the dark and mom insists he stay with her.
OP, who’s 17 Y.O., adds that she has never even met him and has her boyfriend over a lot. However, neither she nor her parents want to budge, thus the day before his arrival, things got even more difficult. While her parents were thinking of where they could put his mattress, OP locked her room and said that she doesn’t want him sleeping in the room.
The same thing happened once the boy arrived, which led to mom not speaking to the OP anymore, and her dad saying he’s disappointed and she’s being selfish. The teen shares that while she feels bad about the whole thing, she still doesn’t want him sleeping in her room.
Redditors backed up the teen in this situation and discussed that her parents’ plan for this setup is not normal and nobody will be comfortable with this, but suggested for OP to move to the basement instead. “Being a 17-year-old girl with a boyfriend, having the whole basement to yourself sounds even better,” one user wrote. “It is absolutely inappropriate to have opposite sex teenagers share a bedroom, even more so when they do not know each other,” another added.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
“This inappropriate living arrangement can create more chaos in the girl’s life and ruin her emotional well-being,” explained Hanan Parvez, who is the founder of PsychMechanics and an author as well. He notes that teenagers are going through a critical phase of psychological development.
Also, she’ll be forced to get along and live with a stranger, which obviously is something that nobody wants to do.
Now, while personal space is crucial for all of us, Hanan notes that teenagers highly value privacy. “They’re going through the process of shaping their identity. They need a lot of time to reflect on themselves and on the world.” He shares that this is especially true for introverted teenagers, who don’t like their sacred personal space getting invaded.
Speaking about the whole communicating issue, “It seems the mother is favoring her brother at the expense of her daughter,” Hanan emphasizes. Also, this unfairness is bound to create tension in the family dynamics. “The mother has to listen to her daughter’s concerns and find a solution or compromise that takes everyone’s needs into account.”
So as it seems that nobody is ready to compromise in this situation, what do you guys think would be the best solution? Do you think her parents are being unreasonable, or should OP give in? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors backed up the author, saying that she’s being fair and they would do the same in her situation
Honestly the parents trying to do this is really inappropriate. Having shared a room with my step brother when I was little, it was awkward, but at least we had grown up together more or less. Making a teenaged girl share her room with a younger teenaged boy she doesn't even know is absolutely crazy. It sounds like the boy has gone through something traumatic and I feel for him, but if they want the daughter to be more understanding, she is old enough to be told what happened. If I was her, I'd just take my s**t and redecorate the room in the basement.
I'm kinda wondering if they want those two to share a room so he won't be alone. 14 years old, they've never met, afraid of the dark, nowhere else to go, don't ask him anything, then they put him in their room instead of the couch for a few days while they figure things out? I feel like this kid has maybe been through something big where they don't want him alone. Mom's that of making OP live in the basement would be pretty easy to go through with unless she has a high quality lock and never leaves to eat or pee. That being said, she is completely justified in not wanting to give up her space and privacy, indefinitely, without knowing what's going on/why.
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The parents want someone to keep an eye on the boy. It's possible the reason he had to move is something he did, or his behavior, and they're throwing their daughter at a situation with no backstory. Why hasn't she ever met her uncle before??
I wondered why they'd never met too. Maybe the parents are no/low contact with their parents.
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At least in America, if you assume legal guardianship of a minor it’s illegal to room them with a child of the opposite gender. I’m not 100% on this but I think it’s true for the foster care system. She could move to the basement, sure, but her parents need to clue her in a bit more to what’s happening and how she can be supportive for him. She’s 17, she can handle a general explanation of the situation.
In the foster care system yes, but this family so the legality is a little more fudged.
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Honestly the parents trying to do this is really inappropriate. Having shared a room with my step brother when I was little, it was awkward, but at least we had grown up together more or less. Making a teenaged girl share her room with a younger teenaged boy she doesn't even know is absolutely crazy. It sounds like the boy has gone through something traumatic and I feel for him, but if they want the daughter to be more understanding, she is old enough to be told what happened. If I was her, I'd just take my s**t and redecorate the room in the basement.
I'm kinda wondering if they want those two to share a room so he won't be alone. 14 years old, they've never met, afraid of the dark, nowhere else to go, don't ask him anything, then they put him in their room instead of the couch for a few days while they figure things out? I feel like this kid has maybe been through something big where they don't want him alone. Mom's that of making OP live in the basement would be pretty easy to go through with unless she has a high quality lock and never leaves to eat or pee. That being said, she is completely justified in not wanting to give up her space and privacy, indefinitely, without knowing what's going on/why.
Load More Replies... The parents want someone to keep an eye on the boy. It's possible the reason he had to move is something he did, or his behavior, and they're throwing their daughter at a situation with no backstory. Why hasn't she ever met her uncle before??
I wondered why they'd never met too. Maybe the parents are no/low contact with their parents.
Load More Replies... At least in America, if you assume legal guardianship of a minor it’s illegal to room them with a child of the opposite gender. I’m not 100% on this but I think it’s true for the foster care system. She could move to the basement, sure, but her parents need to clue her in a bit more to what’s happening and how she can be supportive for him. She’s 17, she can handle a general explanation of the situation.
In the foster care system yes, but this family so the legality is a little more fudged.
Load More Replies...
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