Dad Leaves Daughter High And Dry After Finding Out She Lied About Majoring In Comp Sci
College can be very expensive. For many people, relying on loans that require years of repayment becomes the only option. While others are fortunate to have their parents cover the cost, this can sometimes come with its own set of conditions. A Redditor recently shared how he agreed to sponsor his daughter’s tuition only on the condition that she studies computer science. When she chose to pursue a different course, he was quite displeased.
More info: Reddit
Parental support for college can be a double-edged sword; it eases financial stress but can also come with expectations and potential conflict
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
The author refused to pay his daughter’s tuition because she lied about her major
Image credits: Rodolfo Quirós (not the actual photo)
He thought he had talked her into studying computer science but found out she was majoring in illustration
Image credits: Monstera Production (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Lopsided_Recover109
His decision did not sit well with his wife and daughter and they are upset with him
The poster agreed to fund his daughter’s education on the condition that she majored in computer science. He expressed concerns about the job security of an illustration major, a field he believes his daughter is passionate about but lacks promising career prospects.
However, the daughter reportedly chose to pursue illustration despite the agreement. This came to light when the father discovered mail addressed to his daughter regarding an art exhibition showcasing her work. He offered his daughter three options: pay for her own education, seek financial support from her mother, or begin repaying what he considers “stolen” money used for her studies.
The author maintains his stance, claiming he was deceived and his financial support was contingent on a specific academic path. However, his wife disagrees, calling his response “unreasonable” and suggesting a 19-year-old cannot be expected to shoulder the entire financial burden of their education.
The daughter, unsurprisingly, is also upset with her father’s decision.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
“The decisions we make in our early life (e.g what school we go to, the subjects we choose to study, the decision to go to university/college, the courses we choose) can impact our career path,” according to an article by Midkent College.
“If this decision is heavily swayed by parental preference, the child may end up following a vocation that, deep down, they aren’t interested in. At the same time, without practical guidance and support when pursuing interests, poor choices can be made.” While the poster may have their daughter’s best interests at heart, forcing her into a specific career path can often lead to resentment.
Many young people pressured into studying a specific field end up pursuing their true passions later, regardless of the financial security their chosen path may have offered. It’s important to consider this from the child’s perspective and recognize that while traditional careers like doctor, lawyer, or engineer were once considered the gold standard, today’s diverse job market includes nontraditional paths like influencer or content creation, which can also be fulfilling and lucrative.
At the end of the day the father needs to recognize that it is his daughter’s choice regardless of his feelings towards the choice of career. But what do you think? Is this just a case of a father looking after his child or subtle way to push his own agenda on his child? Let’s hear from you in the comments below!
Commenters shared their displeasure with the poster
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In the comments, the dad is not seeing the points of what people are saying. He wanted to be an animator when he was younger, and he said he's glad his father talked him out of it. He's upset she lied, understandably, but he also said the exhibition she was chosen for was an "adequate achievement." This was a year ago, and I'm guessing the father and daughter do not have a good relationship now. He's stuck on being lied to instead of seeing the bigger picture.
I'm willing to bet money on that the father wasn't at all happy about being talked out of being an animator. Not really.
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My old man did not agree with my University choices and refused to help me. he also refused to sign the documentation that would have allowed me government help during that time. I moved out, got a PT job and supported myself. He was an a'hole and I disliked him intensely when I was a kid. As I aged this turned to loathing and hatred (for a variety of reasons - this being one of them). OP - reconsider before it is too late...
this, the comment from reddit saying that trying to change her was a surefire way of losing her was so right!
Load More Replies... the lying is wrong, but holy s**t can i see why she did it. its within his right to not pay for her degree, and its within her right to be mad at him for trying to force her along a life path she doesnt want, and to study illustration.
Not only is he wrong for this but for being the type of parent that his child is afraid to be open & honest with.
I can relate. When I was younger, I wanted to go to uni for horticulture/floriculture. My dad said he would only pay if I went into hotel/motel management....that was my only choice. I refused, but as I was only working as a waitress, I couldn't afford it. I always said I would once I got on my feet. Well life happened (hubby and children) so I never made it and I never forgave my "dad" for trying to push me into something HE wanted me to do. Good on the young woman for taking the course she wanted to do. I really hope that she follows her dreams and heart because life is too short for regrets
He sounds like a parent from Asia - a very typical rigid viewpoint and reaction fostered by many Asian cultures.
Don't know why people are downvoting you, this is literally tiger mom culture. Your child is no more than an extension of you and nothing they do will ever be good enough. Not excluded to, but very prevalent in Asian immigrant parents.
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So you'd rather have your child unhappy and presumably successful than happy and presumably succesful.
If OP is determined to throw his daughter away because she didn't step in line with HIS plans for HER future, he's on the right path. After a while, he'll see that being "right" all the time is very poor compensation for a daughter who loves him to the moon and back. I'm sure that this will also affect his relationship with his wife, as she's not about to throw her daughter under the bus. If he continues being so stiffnecked, he'll lose her for good--one way or another.
What an ash sole. Extortion. Coercion. Verbal and mental abuse. Financial terrorism. She was right to lie to him and protect herself. [ ......................... ] My own breeders did that to me in high school, trying to dictate what electives I took. They demanded physics, shop classes, and other things to force me into the same garbage "job" as the sperm donor. I wanted advanced algebra, chemistry, and computer science, hardly "do nothing" classes. Fortunately the high school didn't let them dictate, a rare time in my youth when I got my way.
He's an over bearing AH. How about you support her endeavor. How tf would you know if she would fail or be successful in the direction she wants? Until she tries it out she won't know. And she can easily change it back to Comp Sci. I mean it's your money. Do what you want. But making this condition on her daughters education is short sighted and selfish.
aren't parents supposed to love and support their children, no matter what (I never had any of that so I wouldn't know)? man, that dude sounds like he thinks he set up a contract with his child and now she's in breach.. f*cker, let your child be happy and hope you don't end up in a nursing home in a few years.
ESH I can understand everyone's anger at dad. But remember, lying to get your way is never the solution and is the biggest issue in society. Yes dad is a a*****e for forcing a path for his daughter. But he sees it as a Investment for his daughter to allow her to live on her own. He would support her even after that. But now that he has been lied to, he might no longer consider investing in anything that might be more lies. This is a s**t show, and depending on factors I can't see, might lead to divorce (How much has mom kept up the lie?) and there is only the daughter to blame. Don't lie, be honest. And if you have to hate your parents, that is ok. Your parents made you that way.
Problem is based on his attitude im pretty sure she had no choice but to lie. His comments definitely make it seem like it's my way or the highway
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Honestly, dad, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and decide what kind of relationship you want with your daughter. All I got out of reading your post is "I, I, and more I, and me, me and more me!" Nothing mentioned about your daughter and her needs and desires. She sounds like she's good at what she's doing, but you can't see past "yourself." Sure, she shouldn't have lied to you, but I can see, with your attitude, why she did. Either support her in her ambitions or lose any relationship with her in the future.
i love how the father claims that his chosen profession for her has more job prospects (its a very competitive field to start with) An illustration major - can be found working as an animator, concept artist, graphic designer, multi-media programmer, printmaker, production designer, fine artist, special effects technician or fashion designer. Other roles include arts administration or managing client relationships as an advertising account executive. either way.. some of those classes would cross paths along the way towards her degree - and you can also choose electives - so even if she did a computer science degree.... she would need to take several computer classes that may also involve illustration... i also don't understand why you would want your daughter to hide her talents with art - they could come in quite handy & make her work stand out above others in interviews..
The daughter told him she was planning to major in Csci. She lied. She. Lied. She fully expected him to stop paying... and he did.
Hope his wife can still give him a new baby because this one he lost! Just kidding but I'm not even sure what there's left to repair; he's clearly messed up the kids life for years, so much that she's been forced to lie to him about what she studies.
lying to a parent when thousands are at play is just wrong. i dont care what the reasons are. its wrong. just like he was not wanting her to go a certain path. both a******s really.
Serves you right for paying for her education without having a written and binding contract. The fact that she has kept it from you for 4 years just shows that she has learned deception and lying from either you or her mother. Leave the kid alone and be pleased she's not a bloody influencer sponging off society and its gullible idiots.
my mum refused to support me in my dreams of becoming a singer and dancer. i always felt like she thought i didn't have enough talent to make it, and i believed that for most of my life. then when i was like, 30, she asked why i never went on American Idol and was full of compliments for my singing (i had stopped dancing by then- retail work led to hip issues). I love my mum dearly but i'm a little bitter about this turn about from her. :(
Totally the AH I hope the daughter makes millions in her career and tells the dad to F off
In the comments, the dad is not seeing the points of what people are saying. He wanted to be an animator when he was younger, and he said he's glad his father talked him out of it. He's upset she lied, understandably, but he also said the exhibition she was chosen for was an "adequate achievement." This was a year ago, and I'm guessing the father and daughter do not have a good relationship now. He's stuck on being lied to instead of seeing the bigger picture.
I'm willing to bet money on that the father wasn't at all happy about being talked out of being an animator. Not really.
Load More Replies... My old man did not agree with my University choices and refused to help me. he also refused to sign the documentation that would have allowed me government help during that time. I moved out, got a PT job and supported myself. He was an a'hole and I disliked him intensely when I was a kid. As I aged this turned to loathing and hatred (for a variety of reasons - this being one of them). OP - reconsider before it is too late...
this, the comment from reddit saying that trying to change her was a surefire way of losing her was so right!
Load More Replies... the lying is wrong, but holy s**t can i see why she did it. its within his right to not pay for her degree, and its within her right to be mad at him for trying to force her along a life path she doesnt want, and to study illustration.
Not only is he wrong for this but for being the type of parent that his child is afraid to be open & honest with.
I can relate. When I was younger, I wanted to go to uni for horticulture/floriculture. My dad said he would only pay if I went into hotel/motel management....that was my only choice. I refused, but as I was only working as a waitress, I couldn't afford it. I always said I would once I got on my feet. Well life happened (hubby and children) so I never made it and I never forgave my "dad" for trying to push me into something HE wanted me to do. Good on the young woman for taking the course she wanted to do. I really hope that she follows her dreams and heart because life is too short for regrets
He sounds like a parent from Asia - a very typical rigid viewpoint and reaction fostered by many Asian cultures.
Don't know why people are downvoting you, this is literally tiger mom culture. Your child is no more than an extension of you and nothing they do will ever be good enough. Not excluded to, but very prevalent in Asian immigrant parents.
Load More Replies... So you'd rather have your child unhappy and presumably successful than happy and presumably succesful.
If OP is determined to throw his daughter away because she didn't step in line with HIS plans for HER future, he's on the right path. After a while, he'll see that being "right" all the time is very poor compensation for a daughter who loves him to the moon and back. I'm sure that this will also affect his relationship with his wife, as she's not about to throw her daughter under the bus. If he continues being so stiffnecked, he'll lose her for good--one way or another.
What an ash sole. Extortion. Coercion. Verbal and mental abuse. Financial terrorism. She was right to lie to him and protect herself. [ ......................... ] My own breeders did that to me in high school, trying to dictate what electives I took. They demanded physics, shop classes, and other things to force me into the same garbage "job" as the sperm donor. I wanted advanced algebra, chemistry, and computer science, hardly "do nothing" classes. Fortunately the high school didn't let them dictate, a rare time in my youth when I got my way.
He's an over bearing AH. How about you support her endeavor. How tf would you know if she would fail or be successful in the direction she wants? Until she tries it out she won't know. And she can easily change it back to Comp Sci. I mean it's your money. Do what you want. But making this condition on her daughters education is short sighted and selfish.
aren't parents supposed to love and support their children, no matter what (I never had any of that so I wouldn't know)? man, that dude sounds like he thinks he set up a contract with his child and now she's in breach.. f*cker, let your child be happy and hope you don't end up in a nursing home in a few years.
ESH I can understand everyone's anger at dad. But remember, lying to get your way is never the solution and is the biggest issue in society. Yes dad is a a*****e for forcing a path for his daughter. But he sees it as a Investment for his daughter to allow her to live on her own. He would support her even after that. But now that he has been lied to, he might no longer consider investing in anything that might be more lies. This is a s**t show, and depending on factors I can't see, might lead to divorce (How much has mom kept up the lie?) and there is only the daughter to blame. Don't lie, be honest. And if you have to hate your parents, that is ok. Your parents made you that way.
Problem is based on his attitude im pretty sure she had no choice but to lie. His comments definitely make it seem like it's my way or the highway
Load More Replies... Honestly, dad, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and decide what kind of relationship you want with your daughter. All I got out of reading your post is "I, I, and more I, and me, me and more me!" Nothing mentioned about your daughter and her needs and desires. She sounds like she's good at what she's doing, but you can't see past "yourself." Sure, she shouldn't have lied to you, but I can see, with your attitude, why she did. Either support her in her ambitions or lose any relationship with her in the future.
i love how the father claims that his chosen profession for her has more job prospects (its a very competitive field to start with) An illustration major - can be found working as an animator, concept artist, graphic designer, multi-media programmer, printmaker, production designer, fine artist, special effects technician or fashion designer. Other roles include arts administration or managing client relationships as an advertising account executive. either way.. some of those classes would cross paths along the way towards her degree - and you can also choose electives - so even if she did a computer science degree.... she would need to take several computer classes that may also involve illustration... i also don't understand why you would want your daughter to hide her talents with art - they could come in quite handy & make her work stand out above others in interviews..
The daughter told him she was planning to major in Csci. She lied. She. Lied. She fully expected him to stop paying... and he did.
Hope his wife can still give him a new baby because this one he lost! Just kidding but I'm not even sure what there's left to repair; he's clearly messed up the kids life for years, so much that she's been forced to lie to him about what she studies.
lying to a parent when thousands are at play is just wrong. i dont care what the reasons are. its wrong. just like he was not wanting her to go a certain path. both a******s really.
Serves you right for paying for her education without having a written and binding contract. The fact that she has kept it from you for 4 years just shows that she has learned deception and lying from either you or her mother. Leave the kid alone and be pleased she's not a bloody influencer sponging off society and its gullible idiots.
my mum refused to support me in my dreams of becoming a singer and dancer. i always felt like she thought i didn't have enough talent to make it, and i believed that for most of my life. then when i was like, 30, she asked why i never went on American Idol and was full of compliments for my singing (i had stopped dancing by then- retail work led to hip issues). I love my mum dearly but i'm a little bitter about this turn about from her. :(
Totally the AH I hope the daughter makes millions in her career and tells the dad to F off
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