Woman Marries Sister’s Long-Time Crush, Tables Turn When They Need Help And She Refuses
Relationships, including family ones, are tricky. We don’t have to tell you that, right? Yet there are some things, like common understandings, that always make these relationships a tad easier. Well, that’s if all people involved in that relationship abide by them. For instance, if sisters agree not to pursue each other’s romantic interests, it would make their dynamic easier unless one sister decides to go rogue and pursue another one’s crush. Well, that not only makes the relationship trickier, but it can also break it for years. And, yes, we are describing today’s main story.
More info: Reddit
What do you do when people who hurt you in the past ask for quite a big favor?
Image credits: Binyamin Mellish (not the actual picture)
A woman used to have a best friend, who she crushed on, and a sister, who she got along with very well
After one time when the sister’s crush hit on the woman, both siblings made a pact that neither of them would pursue each other’s romantic interests
Image credits: Vera Arsic (not the actual picture)
Yet, when the woman was finally getting together with her crush, she learned her sister had done the same, which caused a fight and estrangement between them
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual picture)
Image credits: u/Both_Staff_5410
Now, years later, the sister and the same guy, who’s now her husband, came asking to stay at the woman’s vacation home after being kicked out of their place
Growing up, the OP was very close with her sister. But she also had a best friend, who was a guy and her crush back in the day, around when she was 20 years old.
Also, at the same time, her sister had a crush on another guy. One day, the sister’s crush flirted with the author, but she didn’t flirt back, as she knew about her sister’s feelings. Yet, it still angered the sister, so she made a pact that neither of them could get with a guy the other one liked.
We can probably say that, in a way, this pact was based on the so-called “sister code.” This code can be applied to just women’s friendships or sisters’ relationships. Basically, it says that any of the women in this friendship/relationship shouldn’t pursue another one’s crush or ex.
At the same time, there are some who say that sister code is basically a non-existent term, and even if it is being used, it’s for justifying one’s prudeness (or maybe this definition needs to be updated, as times have changed since 2014 when this description was posted.) And that’s not only our opinion — there are others who argue that it kind of reeks of misogyny.
These people also argue that, no matter if the sister code term is widely used or not, it should be common sense not to pursue someone who your sister or friend likes. It also should be common sense to keep up with the pact that you came up with yourself. Yet, some people don’t have that much common sense.
A year or two later, after said pact was made, the OP’s best friend started flirting with her, and soon, they started moving to be more than friends. That was until the woman discovered that, on the side, he was also seeing her sister because he wanted to “keep his options open.”
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual picture)
What mostly gutted the woman was that her sister, who knew she liked this guy and made a pact not to date anyone the other one liked, didn’t care about any of this. This broke the woman’s trust in the sister she once got along with so well, and it broke her heart that the man she liked led her on. Since then, the OP hasn’t been in contact with any of them.
Later on, the woman’s estranged sister and ex-best friend (and kind of boyfriend) got married. They lived in a rental place for several years but got kicked out due to issues with their landlord. So, since they needed a place to stay until they could find something else, they turned to the woman. And they did that because the OP and her husband have a nice little house that they use as a vacation home.
Yet, the woman refused to accommodate them due to the way they treated her all those years ago. While her husband and other siblings thought this was a good decision, her parents didn’t, and, of course, her sister and her husband didn’t either and even called her the B-word.
So, the woman became today’s OP by asking Redditors what they thought — is she such a B-word to not shelter her estranged sister and her husband or not?
Well, people online surely didn’t think she should have been called that word in the first place. She just stood up to people who mistreated her so badly in the past and who after hearing a refusal went straight to insulting. Well, in netizens’ eyes, the OP is way better off without them in her life. And we have nothing else to add despite agreeing with this sentiment.
The woman refused to let them in, which majorly upset the couple, but many people in the woman’s life, as well as people online, understood where her decision came from
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I tend to err on the side of generosity and forgiveness (and I do mean err). In this case though, much as my instinct would actually be to agree to help, there are a couple of massive red flags that would make me drastically reconsider. First, the longstanding issues with the previous landlords - you can infer from that that as tenants, they were problematic. Second, the nature of why you became estranged - she steamrollered her way over a boundary, essentially. She will do the same again if she establishes tenancy in your holiday home. If I were in your position, as much as I would feel the right thing to do would be to help them out anyway, it's not sensible and is realistically asking for a world of pain in terms of damages, lost finances, and struggles to evict them. Take your feelings out of play and you still have very solid reasons not to help. And if your parents are guilt-tripping you, they can find and help fund a place for them - elsewhere.
I agree. Even if there hadn't been a boundary breeched there's no way I would let an estranged relative who has had repeated problems with landlords stay at my home unsupervised. They're going to trash it.
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When someone says no to a request, and the response is insults, gaslighting, yelling and a tanrum. That says all you need to hear to know WTA is and 100% confirmation no was the correct reply.
I agree. Lights, cameras, to record any action on the part of those two ne'er-do-wells. I wouldn't put it past them to try and break in anyway. OP needs to go online for a Trespass Arrest Form, just in case.
Load More Replies... I tend to err on the side of generosity and forgiveness (and I do mean err). In this case though, much as my instinct would actually be to agree to help, there are a couple of massive red flags that would make me drastically reconsider. First, the longstanding issues with the previous landlords - you can infer from that that as tenants, they were problematic. Second, the nature of why you became estranged - she steamrollered her way over a boundary, essentially. She will do the same again if she establishes tenancy in your holiday home. If I were in your position, as much as I would feel the right thing to do would be to help them out anyway, it's not sensible and is realistically asking for a world of pain in terms of damages, lost finances, and struggles to evict them. Take your feelings out of play and you still have very solid reasons not to help. And if your parents are guilt-tripping you, they can find and help fund a place for them - elsewhere.
I agree. Even if there hadn't been a boundary breeched there's no way I would let an estranged relative who has had repeated problems with landlords stay at my home unsupervised. They're going to trash it.
Load More Replies... When someone says no to a request, and the response is insults, gaslighting, yelling and a tanrum. That says all you need to hear to know WTA is and 100% confirmation no was the correct reply.
I agree. Lights, cameras, to record any action on the part of those two ne'er-do-wells. I wouldn't put it past them to try and break in anyway. OP needs to go online for a Trespass Arrest Form, just in case.
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