40 People Open Up About What Makes Them Silently Judge People

Once I saw a overweight woman in the fitness studio with cut marks on her arms, I felt so proud of her. I just wanted to let her know but I was not feeling courageous that day, so I just smiled and nodded,she did too.

I once yelled it out my car window! To explain, saw overweight man struggling to run to the end of our block. He had been doing this daily for about a week. Saw him struggling on my way home and yelled YOU CAN DO IT out my window at him. He gave me a thumbs up and a smile. He kept going.

It is way more effort for an overweight person to get on with that Cardio than it is for you who has been doing it for a while. Double credit deserved!

You need to say it out loud. There are so many people that ridicule an overweight person for trying. Keeps us from going to the gym and making the effort.

Esp. because a lot of the time weight isn't even due to lifestyle. Different people naturally gather fat at different places.

@Loty: Although far better than what's described in the post, you are also being a bit judgy. Why silently say that to an overweight person and not the super skinny person who is very unfit without enough strength or flexibility to grow old healthily? Or the thinner person with high blood pressure who needs more exercise, etc? My son has been a good 50 pounds or so overweight for most of his adult life. He has a resting hearth rate of 50-60. He's very strong, but not with the useless muscles of a body-builder. He moves as quietly as a cat. (He's a parkour instructor. They have machines to measure how quietly someone lands.) He can sprint very fast. For years, he was on his feet teaching parkour about 5 hours a day 6-7 days a week. Yet he's overweight and you wouldn't guess he's an athlete. Yes, everything else being equal, he would be healthier without the extra weight, but if someone looked at him in a gym and thought "good for you", that would be an insult.

That’s pretty condescending. As if the only reason they were overweight before was because they lacked the effort. Folks go through injuries, surgeries, severe illness, and moments in life that could kill a normal person with less resilience. It’s not always a choice to gain weight. How bout you think good for you to everyone who made the effort to get to the gym, regardless of their level of fitness…

Yes, but judgement isn't necessarily a bad thing. If I look at your comment and go "hey I like that, Tim's a nice guy!" I have in fact judged you.

Yes. And you never know what they are going through. If they are not trying, maybe they are just trying to... survive? Struggle with depression, eating disorders, other health issues...? So even if they don't try, nobody would be entilted to judge.

They don't even need to cut in lines. I was in one of those restaurants, with self-service for the drinks part, and this elderly couple was basically hugging me to get to their drinks OVER me, while I was taking mine. So rude, inconsiderate and unhygienic.... it's not like it would take me forever for 2 small cups of water...

On the road... Two days ago, there was a huge car accident in my country. It was on the higway, almost 40 vehicles including trucks (miraculously noone died). Of course the higway was at least partially blocked for the rest of the day. The other drivers waiting in the long queues left a wide aisle for the emergency vehicles to pass through. Within ten minutes assholes started using it to cut the queues to the nearest exit 🤷

Because 'their time is so valuable'...

Or two shopping carts taking up the whole isle while they have a reunion and when people park their shopping carts on one side of the isle and stand in the other side to shop, keep your cart with you ffs. I say excuse me so many times in the store that my throat is dry and hoarse from wearing my hot mask on my face and I'm the only one being polite.

Does this include military border disputes? People should stick to their country. We should meet those who disagree with force. 😉

You have a reason, though. I have a pretty high tolerance about these things, because I know there's people like you, and I know these things happen to even the best of us. But many times, people really are dangerously unaware of their surroundings, I was literally almost crashed by my shopping cart once, as the couple before me just stood there at the escalator end, instead of moving right away, to let anyone behind them (which happened to be me) pass safely. Also, when it comes to public transport, I'm 178 cm tall and I'm slim now, but my shoulders and hips are a bit large by nature, and I've always been super self-aware about personal space, a thing I myself value a lot. How many times have I witnessed my big ass occupying way less space than those tiny usurpators who act like they own the place sometimes... u.u

As one who also wears glasses, I totally understand. All we can do is our best.

Beautiful response

Exactly and it's this type of person who has a general lack of consideration for others, who do all of the above and litter among many other daily things that encroach onto the peaceful existence of others.

It is something you are taught. I remember watching Mad Men. They all went out and had a picnic. They left ALL of their trash, just sitting there blowing around. Looked like a dozen people were there. I remember, back then littering was just like tossing a cigarette (which people still annoyingly do).

Littering is the only one that really stuck that way. My parents ran a fairly loose ship, so when I climbed on furniture at school, the teacher would rhetorically ask "are you allowed to jump on the chairs at home?" But I actually was... But when someone reminded me as a kid not to litter and asked "how would you like it if I came to your house and threw trash on the floor?"... That ended up resonating because even with our lenient house rules, that wasn't allowed at all. It's kind of hard for kids to understand that rules at home are different from rules in public. So I agree that these rules are usually taught at home and these people simply weren't taught this at a young age

My dad was an old school Marine who taught me that you don’t walk over a piece of discarded rubbish, you bend down pick it up and throw it in a waste receptacle, doesn’t matter if you weren’t the one who littered. I had a few acquaintances growing up who’d just toss crap anywhere and it always bugged me. Anytime I’m skating at the skatepark by my house, I’m always picking up after douche canoes who toss their bottles on the ground. At the risk of sounding old, I’ll be 48 this year and wish I had free parks to skate when I was young, they don’t know how lucky they are and really need to take care of what taxpayers gave them. It really does begin at home

I think if you have a opportunity to notice, that it's often the same people littering, that speaks ugly to waitresses, waiters, retailers, offensive driving skills, using cell phones at inopportune times, and several other offensive things in general. It seems to be their overall approach to life.

I agree, and found that "at birth" part a bit funny 🤣 "now wipe that up and take the placenta with you and throw it on your way out!"

Some do do that at home, sadly

I know your husband's opinion is more important than that of an internet stranger, but to me you're a hero! I always daydream about picking up a cigarette butt and giving it back to the awful human being who'd dropped it, but I have yet to find the courage. And I live in one of those countries with plenty of trash cans, btw.

I used to live opposite a park surrounding a major sporting ground. People were allowed to park there during events, and it was stunning how many of them left a pile of rubbish next to their car. Like, they took the opportunity to clean out their car and just leave it there. I used to pick it up and put it in their roof in the hope they got the message. However I would point out that your husband had a good reason for being angry with you for doing this, and that's because he knows that if someone got annoyed enough to throw a punch,bit will be at him, not you!

I would so do this too

Especially since often there -isn't- anyone paid to clean.

WHAT????

I KNOW RIGHT?! Like come in guys, you aren’t toddlers anymore

Hannah, your husband may believe his penis is clean, but, unless he just got out of the shower, I would bet he has accumulated some bacteria!

I would expand that to bigotry, any bigotry.

Oh I do.

Yessssss!!!

Yes, we all should. But I will say that when you encounter something like this for the first time, or in a highly unexpected way, it can be rather shocking, and leave you a bit speechless. I'm white, 40, from middle class background, and grew up in a suburban area about 40 minutes south of Philadelphia. I didn't think racism was still much of a problem because I had never been exposed to it until until my late 20s, when some pig cops treated a black man who had more information about an accident we witnessed like he was causing a problem for trying to tell them what he saw. I didn't even realize what was happening right away. Of course that's back when I used to think cops were mostly good, especially where I lived. I learned the hard way ACAB. And I did tell the cops that the nice gentleman, who just helped pry a crushed door off the car to get a little girl crumpled under the dash out because the car was smoking, to please take his statement first, he saw more than I did.

in this day and age it is almost dangerous to be vocal about racism because many are being killed for speaking their minds about it .