We all remember how Elon Musk raised everyone’s eyebrows by stating he believes we live in a simulation. With a perfectly straight face.
And while for many, it may be hard to process the idea, scientists have backed up the belief in such a scenario, like the Oxford philosopher Nick Bostrom, who has a theory that suggests we may be living in a computer simulation. Computer scientist Rizwan Virk analyzed this possibility further in his 2019 book “The Simulation Hypothesis.” And there are many more thinkers who are totally for the idea that we do live a simulated computer reality.
So if life is indeed a video game, we'd better get our cheat codes ready. And thanks to a person who posted this question “What are some cheat codes you've found in the game of life?” on r/AskReddit, we may now find out some of the most useful commands, hacks, and shortcuts that will surely come in handy. So take your notebooks out, kids, we are about to finally nail this game called life.
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Niceness gets you everywhere. I get free [stuff] from being nice. And no, it's not because I'm a cute girl. Because I'm not. I'm an overweight, balding man. People respond to niceness. I've befriended the Comcast customer support person. I've befriended the most disliked, crotchety person in our office. I get special treatment at my cafeteria because I treat the service staff like actual human beings. I get fees waived because I asked nicely.
Be nice. It costs little and is worth a lot.
This!! Helping someone might be selfless but it also makes me feel better about myself :)
Load More Replies...When you phone a helpline and the person who answers gives you their name and asks how they can help you, remember their name and use it. It's amazing how much better customer service you can get just by treating them like people.
This. And also ask them how they are doing today. And try to smile while you talk - they can hear it.
Load More Replies...As a person working in customer service I can say I bend/break rules/policy more for people who are nice than I'd do for jerks. If you are jerk I will follow rules/policy to the t, you'll get a bare minimum, but if you are nice I will actively suggest ways to get you more benefits and bend few rules here and there. I will actively go out of my ways to get you a better deal without you even asking for it.
I have never understood the people who think they can get what they want by ranting, demanding, or shouting. I've seen people do this and it's almost tangible how every person in the room just loses all desire to help that person. If you come in with "Hey, I'm sorry I left this so late but I just realized today that I'm supposed to get this in four days beforehand, is there any way you can help me out?" then it hardly even matters that you don't have a good excuse for messing up, because at least you're owning it. People understand mistakes and they usually do what they can to help. If you come in with "These instructions were so unclear, why can't anyone in this office do their jobs, you need to do this thing for me" then people just.. shut down. I cooould bend this rule but why should I risk myself for YOU? It's just.. ugh.
Load More Replies...I get free stuff sometimes for being nice and if I don't, the worst thing that happens is I've acted like a decent human.
This one is HUGE!!! I get so much in life from being nice and in the end I feel good and the other person feels good. It's a win/win!
Several times in life I've cold called a company to confirm my interview time. I didn't have one prior to my call, but in their confusion and inability to even find my resume I've managed to secure an interview about four out of five times. Twice I've gotten the job.
That's a sign of disorganization on the company's behalf, or they liked your style. Would never fly where I work
yeah I'm guessing this is fast food or low entry service industry guy
Load More Replies...I'm calling applesauce on this one. If they said the success rate at getting an interview was 10% I might believe it....but 80%?
Using dishonest tactics is probably why they have to change jobs that often.
"What are some cheat codes you've found in the game of life?" is a metaphorical question, Rohan Roberts told Bored Panda in an interview via email. Rohan is an innovator, author, entrepreneur, and edtech advisor who was happy to share some insights on the hypotheses that we live in a simulation with our readers.
Rohan explained that there are undoubtedly many people who literally believe life is a simulation or a game, Elon Musk being one of them. “Also, in Eastern philosophy, particularly in Vedanta, a metaphorical perspective they take is to view life as a game. In so far as both games and life have rules to abide by, laws by which the physical universe is governed, and ultimately, that there is no purpose to both a game and to life,” he explained and added that “we play a game for the fun of it.”
“Similarly, the perspective in some Eastern philosophies is that there is no higher purpose in life,” Rohan continued. “Nothing beyond playing the game of life for the sake of playing the game of life. Alan Watts, the famous British-American philosopher from the '50s and '60s often espouses this view. For example, here.”
Introverts think then talk, extroverts think while they talk.
Took a class that said if you want to run a good meeting, wait 10 seconds before moving on. Introverts (such as myself) need time to process before they speak. Started running my meetings this way and I will be damned if the introverts didn't start speaking more and providing really good input.
Also, some people need time to get started when they reply. One of my colleagues needs two or three seemingly mindless sentences to get to his actual answer, but he tends to be right. Sadly, some people in the past didn't give him that time and it really crushed his confidence so now he just doesn't offer input for fear of being cut off impatiently. Really sad.
Some years ago I had a student like that. He was eight years old, and he was already convinced he was retarded. The sad thing is he was brilliant, but it took him some minutes to analise and understand new concepts, and he was also an introvert who didn't dare speak up, so his previous teachers treated him as if he was an idiot. It took me the whole year to give him some self esteem, and to make him understand he was really intelligent. I think it's the best thing I've ever taught a student.
Load More Replies...See, I'm somewhere between the two - if I don't really know the person I prefer to stay quiet, but with people I'm very familiar with I'll be quite chatty. However this often leads to me trying to say meaningless stuff to my family etc while I get my answer sorted in my head
But don't just put them on the spot by saying - "Anyone have anything to add?" because most of the time you will hear dead silence.
I'm an introvert and I wait to see if anyone else is going to say the same thing I want to. If they don't and I have time without interrupting the presenter I'll say something, if the presenter keeps going then I won't say anything.
If you really know your coworkers, you can intervene on their behalf, as well. Did this yesterday in a meeting where the project manager was rushing to end the meeting, but I knew a programmer had open questions. Result? Questions got answered, and I got a very grateful email from the programmer later. SO many programmers are introverted.
Thank you for pointing this out. I'm an introvert but an important part of my job is basically answering random questions to random people. I cannot afford this 10 second delay (would be comfy but...), I've managed to reduce it to 1-2 seconds so I make sure to give the most accurate answer possible. And still, most people look worried and wondering if I have understood what they said or if I am dumb, just because I don't rush in saying the first thing that comes to my mind.
I find that a lot of (I know, not all) introverts are not introverted when they are at work and discussing work related things. My wife for example, is bubbly & friendly person to her customers, a firm & strong minded woman to her superiors and colleagues, but can't do small talk with them during a break or socialise out of work.
Compliment your children with "you are a hard worker" and not "you're smart". Studies show that kids who think they're hard workers outperform kids who think they're smart.
Yes! It's not what you know it's your persistence, your curiosity, your kindness. And notice when they are doing the right thing, and thank them or acknowledge their responsible choice. Otherwise they only get negative feedback. And it's adorably sweet when, in return, a wee voice pipes up "good job mummy you peeled all those carrots nicely" ❤
I was told again and again and again how smart or gifted I was when I was a child, and I think it’s a small but important part of why I felt entitled and didn’t try hard enough in my youth. (Mostly I was arrogant and lazy, and I paid the price for it.)
That's honest. My nephew was repeatedly told he was smart as a child. He didn't work hard or try either and now, as an adult, he still isn't. Doesn't mean he won't be happy or make a success of his life but it is a little sad to see how little effort he is making while in his 20s.
Load More Replies...Also remember to tell them how proud you are of them for the things they accomplish. My middle baby has been working hard lately to lose the little bit of weight she put on and I told her how proud I was of her for sticking with it and working out every day. I could tell how much she appreciated me noticing.
I read a study they did on this - wish I could find the article - and even the researchers were gobsmacked by the results. From memory, they set an easy test and told half the cohort that they must be really smart because they'd done well, and the other half they must have done well because they'd tried really hard. Then set a genuinely hard test and the kids who "tried hard" did way WAY better. Alarmingly so.
I was always told "you're smart, but lazy" ehehehhehe (more from teachers than parents, though)
When adults tell kids that they are smart it makes them think that some people are naturally smart and others aren’t and you can’t change it
By itself being smart is not really a good indicator of ability. Being knowledgeable in what you do is far more important. Smart, in my experience, has proven itself to be the ability of the smart individual to be able to regurgitate what they know at moments notice. Knowledge, from my experience, has proven itself to be the ability to act on what you know in the moment at hand...even if this particular moment doesn't exactly line up with what you were taught. I've know far too many well papered idiots to give credence to "smart".
Are you sure you're not my dad? It works on me. It's because no matter your intelligence, you can rise to the top if you work hard, playing off of practice AND talent.
Or you can say, "you are using your brain very well today". Because everyone has a brain but not even smart people use them well all the time.
Ask questions, about everything. Ask people about themselves. Be open about stuff you don't understand, and ask questions about that. When you forget someone's name, own up to it and just ask them.
I am amazed at how many people won't acknowledge even a tiny amount of ignorance, or won't show honest curiosity about something, can't admit they've forgotten something they feel is important, and won't ever ask for help. Guys...your life becomes so much easier if you just drop the [effin] ego and ask.
No one is expected to know everything, and it's rather obvious you have to ask if you don't know. Why some people are ashamed to ask and not to talk shït is beyond me. Better to ask than to be another walking example of Dunning-Kruger.
In many cases, it's learned, thanks to stupid teachers and parents. When children ask they are told to stop being a nuisance, or they are accused of being cheeky, or an ignorant teacher tells them to shut up or they will get bad marks. Children are naturally curious, but they are taught no to ask or not to admit they don't know, just to avoid getting in trouble.
Load More Replies...So many times on BP someone has asked an honest question and been shot down in flames with countless downvotes and snide comments. There is no such thing as a stupid question. People ask questions to better their knowledge or learn something new. Criticising them for it is pretty ignorant.
Thank you for saying this. I'm so tired of seeing "Google is your friend", even sometimes posted after the person has had their question answered. So snarky and rude, and just not understanding how new Google is is how I see it. Cavemen didn't Google. And when I was young, neither did I, I used encyclopedias. There is nothing wrong with asking genuine questions and I too do not like the responses such an act receives these days :( if had it myself a few times when I have asked a question on this dite
Load More Replies...When I was younger I found it really hard to ask for help because I was scared that people would think I was stupid
I admit that I will move out of the country and assume a new identity to avoid asking a person their name after I should have known it BUT the few times when someone else asks me my name for a second time, all I can think is "They actually respect me and care to get it right. Approved!"
If it helps - I admit it, easily and often, and I can tell you that the majority of people are not offended at all, and many respond by saying they have trouble with it too. I also often pre-apologize: "Jessie, you say? I should be able to remember that but I probably won't, I'm just terrible at names." Honestly I think it makes you more friends to forget because it takes the pressure off them remembering your name.
Load More Replies...The problem with showing ignorance or curiosity is that it can be mistaken for judgment. I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Because I have empathy issues I sometimes struggle to understand the feelings of others. Thankfully, my condition is well managed and it gives me enough empathy to want to understand other people’s feelings. The only way I can do that is by asking questions. Unfortunately, most people see my questions as judgmental. Very few people believe I mean no disrespect with my questions.
Bravo to you for working with your situation and caring enough to be respectful of others' feelings. Tact doesn't came naturally to most people but practice helps you to know what works. For instance, you might preface your questions with a reassuring opening such as, "Can you explain that a little more? I want to be sure I understand what you mean/what happened/why you feel that way." Then say thank you for clarifying. Also the expression on your face tells a lot. If you smile when questioning someone's meaning, it comes off as mocking or judgmental. Then if they answer your question, nod and say, okay, now I see what you mean. Now you can smile. Body language matters!
Load More Replies...Problem is, often "smart" kids are made to very bad if they don't know. I had a teacher ask something in 6th grade, and then make fun of me for not knowing because "you're the smartest one in here, how do you not know?" Would've helped if I had ever heard of what he was talking about. Often got the same attitude if I asked for help
I have said for years that one of my greatest strengths is that I'm not afraid to look stupid. The world is an open book when you aren't afraid to ask smart people questions about the things you don't know.
I am learning the freedom and strength that comes with that. It's right up there with learning to say "No" with necessary life skills
Load More Replies...However, “most reputable scientists don't entertain the notion that we live in a simulation and don't have much to say on this,” Rohan said. At the same time, there are some prominent voices in the scientific community who have voiced their opinions.
Rohan elaborates: “Swedish philosopher and professor at Oxford, Nick Bostrom, has said that there is a 50-50 chance that we live in a simulation; but he has also said that we are almost certainly living in a computer simulation. Swedish-American physicist and professor at MIT, Max Tegmark, seems to take the opposite view. In an interview with the Guardian, he says, 'Is it logically possible that we are in a simulation? Yes. Are we probably in a simulation? I would say no.' Harvard theoretical physicist Lisa Randall is even more skeptical. 'I don’t see that there’s really an argument for it. There’s no real evidence.'”
When someone says something true, say “you’re right”, not “i know”. It’ll make them feel better and you’ve still shown everyone how awfully clever you are.
I know a lot of random facts so whenever someone says a random fact that I know I now say you’re right instead of I know and it makes them feel so much better
Devil's advocacy: I find this really aggravating when people say it to me. Am I saying something because I want affirmation or validation? No. By saying 'you're right', you're positioning yourself as an objective source of truth. That's okay-ish if you know you're more knowledgeable/qualified on the topic than the person you're talking to, or if the person isn't sure of themselves and clearly WANTS that affirmation. Otherwise, a simple 'I agree' or 'I agree, and what do you think about [related topic]?' That way, you're showing interest in what they're saying and trust that they have more of interest to say.
Exactly! I hate when someone says "you're right". I knew I was right. I didn't need their approval lol
Load More Replies...When children share "their wisdom", it is great to see how they react when you ask them: How do you know that ... and then actually listen, when they tell you. It feels great for them, to be "smarter" than the adults form time to time ... or just to realize, that even adults don't know everything!
My coworkers would always come up and ask me a question re:work since I’m the seasoned employee, when I tell them, their response is that’s what I thought, I’m thinking to myself, then why did you ask the same question for the tenth time
Reassurance. Its annoying, but also a compliment to you! They trust that you know what you're doing.
Load More Replies...I prefer to say "true", "exactly", "yes, it is"... You're right too, but it all depends on the conversation flow. It also depends on how that fact was presented to you.
This “approach” reduces the degree to which your knowledge is made apparent while making the other person feel good. Along the same lines, when someone says something false (and somewhat insignificant), you should say “you’re right”: The other person will feel better, and their idea about how much you know can’t change.
No, this does not always work, in fact I have never found it to work, they just look at you as if your a show off.
I am an assistant teacher in a preschool. Asking if kids can use their sitting muscles and listening muscles during circle time makes the kids want to show me how "strong" they are.
I suffer from acute listening muscle dystrophy. It began in my early teens.
Thanks, I'll be teaching first graders for the first time for a summer activity, I'll remember this!
Plz remember that some kids (like me) can actually have a harder time paying attention while doing stuff like this ^u^ other than that this is a great idea!
Nah, Apple didn't ask, they just put them to work and paid them a meal as salary.
Load More Replies...
No one stops a guy or girl carrying a pizza. It can get you backstage to concerts.
aaaah, that's what I did wrong all the time....
Load More Replies...Hi-Viz jacket; as soon as you put that on it instantly gives the impression of someone in ‘authority’. Oh, and a yellow hat? That’s the cherry on the cake.
I can confirm. I wear one for work and on more than one occasion I have accidentally ended up in totally the wrong building, completely unchallenged by security. Its only after half an hour of "where's the rest of the work crew?" that I realise I might actually be doing work in the building across the street.
Load More Replies...I've gotten in places by walking with purpose, carrying a clipboard, and giving an confident "what up" nod to anyone who makes eye connect.
Why would you want to be backstage, if you can have (already have) pizza??
you can liberate large items like statues if you have 4 men in high viz and helmets, the right tools and a vehicle that looks the part. A clipboard allows you to pretend to be working.
Thanks for the tip. I'll use this next time I try to steal the statue of liberty.
Load More Replies...if you want extra reassurance you should do some digging and find out what the artist's/band's favourite flavour pizza is so you can look like you're delivering it to them.
Somebody ordered a pizza at a frat party and my friend walked up and took it from the delivery guy and booked it . Everybody helped her get away. It was a s**t head thing to do , but we were kids and it was hilarious back then
Been to well over 75 concerts in my lifetime. The number of times I’ve seen someone with a pizza? Zero. Let alone a stack of pizza’s, because who would order just one pizza? I call bullshit on this one.
But the real problem with the simulation hypothesis is that there is no way to prove it. “And that's what makes it unscientific,” adds Rohan.“Science philosopher Karl Popper proposed the Falsification Principle as a way of demarcating science from non-science. It suggests that for a theory to be considered scientific it must be able to be tested and conceivably proven false. For example, the hypothesis that 'all swans are white' can be falsified by observing a black swan.”
In the same way, there’s no good way we could falsify the claim that the universe is a simulation. “We don't have a good way of doing that, to the best of my knowledge. If we were, indeed, living in a simulation, it cannot really be tested. Any test we use will itself be part of the simulation,” he explained.
Just be nice, particularly to people in the service industry. Your job, your personal interactions, even your calls into customer service will go 100% easier if you’re just nice to people and recognize that they’re probably just trying to do their job, not screw you over.
Can't be repeated enough but still seems a mystery to a lot of belligerent and entitled people.
If I'm upset with something and have to call, I always tell the rep "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the situation, and I'm just venting. Don't take it personally." This has almost always helped, and if I happen to yell (or worse, curse) I will usually end the call with "thank you for letting me vent, it really helped." I've gotten things solved this way: fees refunded that probably shouldn't be, repair dates much sooner than initially quoted, etc. You can be polite and still be upset, they're not mutually exclusive.
I have asked to speak to a manager because "I'm about to vent over your pay grade"
Load More Replies...I have no idea why people feel entitled to treat people in the service industry shitty and disrespectful. And let me add: By doing so, you are showing every person around that you are just an uncultured moron. If you do that on a date or in a business enviroment, it will justly fire back on you.
My wife and I booked ourselves in to the George V hotel in Paris for champagne tea. We were surrounded by no doubt wealthier people who never spoke to the waiters or staff, whist we asked about the building, the food, the chandeliers etc as we were genuinely interested...and they loved it. We were brought extra champagne and even some of our favourite foods from the tea to take away and the staff loved telling about the place. Be nice, it pays back big time.
This is a really good tip for dating too! Pay careful attention to how your date treats your waiter or cashier. Its easy to pretend to be kind on date, but how they treat people in the service industry is often a glimpse into how they are likely to treat you at some point in the future of the relationship.
Exactly, always be polite. If you were on the receiving end, would you want someone being rude and shouting at you, or for them to be civil and calm? Golden rule, treat others as you would treat yourself.
I'm surprised how many dumbfounded, and sometimes very pleased looks I get from cashiers when I simply tell them Thank you! at the end of the transaction.
You don’t have to always “give away the recipe”.
By that I mean, don’t over explain yourself. If you can’t do something, 9/10 times it’s okay to simply say “unfortunately I’m not able to do that”, “can’t swing it this time”, etc. You don’t have to go on and on about why, or make up reasons and list them off. Over explaining just ends up looking more suspect than simply being clear and concise.
My boss told me to reply " You're asking too much from me." and leave it at that. Works wonders.
I've started doing that, and I've found it really does work! Heck, sometimes if you just don't get back to the person at all they won't bother to chase you about it (note: I've never done that on purpose; sometimes I just forget to respond or an email gets lost in my inbox when I'm really snowed under).
I have a hard time working call centers because I can't always say no to someone on the other end of the phone. But a co-worker taught me to say "They don't give us the authority to do that. We have strict guidelines we have to adhere to. We have to follow the warranty." If they ask for a manager "They, unfortunately, are faced with the same restrictions." It's ok to say no. You may not agree with it, but if it's what they tell you to do, you have to follow it. After I quit my last call center job, I swore I'd never do it again. Most times, these call centers train employees that "We have to give great customer service. We have to assist our customers." When in reality, you spend 90% of your time saying "no."
Working in IT writing down simple procedure can save everyone time. If it is complicated don't waste your time. Nobody will bother reading it if it is more than a couple of pages.
Saying No to someone and telling them you have absolutely no reason to explain yourself is empowering. Leaves zero room for negotiation.
I like what they teach in al-anon, a simple saying for people who say yes to everything, then resent themselves and the casual friend they agree to help move heavy boxes from their basement apartment to their new third floor flat. The saying is ' No is a complete sentence.'...... no explanaition needed. Use it all the time now, changed my life. try it sometmes.
Yes, exactly... When I worked as a salesperson I was taught how to handle "objections" and the trick is to find a way to "solve" those objections to make the sale... you basically corner people with the information they provide, if you keep talking you keep digging yourself. I was very bad at sales because I understand the meaning of "no" and respect it... But a lot of people work with this, don't explain much specially to sales people. ("I don't want this", "why?", "I just don't, thanks")
Years ago, I was buying a car to replace my van. Gas mileage was a concern, so they had me test drive a 3 cylinder. I was so claustrophobic. They tried the hard sell and asked, what can we do to make this sale ? I replied, you can't make the car bigger.
Load More Replies...Wise words as agreeing will create more problems in the long run. Also have witnessed people say no and then explain themselves into agreeing to do it. Politely decline amd move on.
The correct response to any compliment is "Thank you." You can then follow it up with a comment if you'd like to continue the conversation. If someone likes your dress? "Thank you, it has pockets!" If someone compliments your art? "Thank you, I've been practicing." If someone asks if you're a professional singer because you have a good singing voice? "Thank you, I just sing for fun."
Not only does it make you seem confident and self-assured, it tells them that they are right! That's a friendly thing to do.
This even works if you don't believe the compliment. Saying, "Oh, no, I'm ugly," when someone compliments your appearance not only tells them that they're wrong, it makes you think of yourself as ugly. A better answer would be, "Thank you, I really appreciate that and I don't always believe it, so hearing that from you helps."
a compliment is a gift. immediately rejecting it is pretty rude and probably makes the other person feel uncomfortable.
I agree to a point but I reckon it's a fine line between rudeness and modesty. If someone says you are good looking, you wouldn't say 'Yes, I know', or 'No, I'm not'. They're both rude and I think OP was suggesting that there are plenty of ways to reply within the framework that are polite and natural. There can be a lot of discomfort around receiving compliments and it's sometimes rather embarrassing. I am grateful for these suggestions and might actually manage to receive a compliment without wanting the earth to open up and swallow me!
Load More Replies...I agree with this one, but I can't help thinking about a topic that was pretty trendy on various social media sites a few years back about guys getting offended at that "thank you" from random pretty women they compliment. I never understood it back then and I still don't. Guess it's meant you're supposed to pretend you're humble or something? Boh... expressing gratitude is the most natural response, really.
How to respond when your SO is fishing for compliments is also helpful to know. “Does this dress make me look fat?”…. the correct answer is no. Your fat is making you look fat - it isn’t the dress. In other words, always be truthful. (I’m typing this outdoors from inside a dog house, so please forgive any spelling errors.)
So, just curious, how long/often are you in the doghouse, and do you have a dog? ;)
Load More Replies...I cannot stress enough how much this will change your life! I used to down play every compliment I got and I had a terrible view of myself. My hubby forced me to stop and say Thank you rather than anything negative and it has changed the way I view myself. It doesn't matter if you believe it, if someone goes out of their way to compliment you, showing gratitude is the only way!
We're all assuming that this compliment was condoned right? I hate to be "that" person but I have strong feelings about "the correct way to..." statements. I can think of many many times where "thankyou" would NOT have been okay.
No, I used to think people were being sarcastic, I realise now often they would not have been
So according to Rohan, whether the simulation hypothesis is true or not all boils down to the evidence. “We must remember that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence—and what can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.”
“At the same time, however, we would do well to keep in mind that the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. That said, if this universe were, indeed, created by a programmer, we’d still be left with the question, 'who programmed the Programmer?’" Rohan concluded.
I cannot overstate how much dressing well and being well groomed will impact your life. It'll drop the difficulty by two or three levels. No joke. People will treat you VASTLY differently. The opposite is also true.
saw a video of a guy asking to ride the bus for free, in suit he get to ride for free, in dirty clothes he was asked to leave.
That's actually kinda weird if ya think about it.
Load More Replies...I can 100% confirm this. In my job I have to travel a lot. Sometimes, I go to places, but my appointments are the next day, so that I sometimes catch a plane in sweatpants, football jersey and hoodie. The difference EVERYONE (including airport security) looks, talks and acts towards me is SO DIFFERENT compared to when I'm in a business suite, I never thought that it made such a huge difference.
And it's super-s#itty this works. We shouldn't be treated by the looks. I have severe skin problems tat cannot be treated and I am treated as a piece of crap because of it. When I wear a TON of makeup - miracle happens and everything gets better. Everything apart my skin problem, that gets worse after that.
But by wearing jeans and a T-shirt your life gets much more relaxed. Your more approachable to your staff and your managers don't have very high expectations of you. You also never have to explain why you won't be working overtime because they don't even bother to ask you.
You can actually do both. You can look nice and be comfy at the same time.
Load More Replies...In her book, Tina Fey talks about her father, a former Army intelligence officer who carried himself with confidence and dressed a little better than most (sportcoat, tweed hat). People frequently assumed he was a Congressman or Hollywood star.
It’s the payoff for the difficulty that is ADDED by dealing with makeup, fancy clothes that are less comfortable and harder to wash, etc. God I love my permanent WFH job.
We have a proverb in my country - "They will greet you in accordance with your clothes, and send you away in accordance with your wits."
This works VERY well on airplanes . . . an upgrade seat will go to the best dressed.
When I was in my old 500+ person building, I kept a stack of papers on my desk. When I was bored, or got tired of sitting down, I'd get up, grab my stack of papers and walk around. I called them my "walking papers" and did this for months. Got a lot of head nods and not one question the entire time. People always assumed I was on an important mission, but nope. Not in the least.
PS: worked on the executive floor / wing, too.
"Never walk around empty-handed" First lesson on the first day I started my working career. And that was somewhere in the previous century.
When you walk through the office always keep a serious look on your face. If you look like you're enjoying yourself they will assume you're slacking off.
Load More Replies...Ah - try carrying something other than papers. Two coffee cups would do the trick every time - suddenly you go from 'slacking off' to 'helping around the house'. One coffee cup doesn't hit the same!
Load More Replies...This WORKS, when I had to walk past the company owner's office 2 and 3 times daily, I carried an unimportant file folder with me. Every time. (People used the same path to get to the breakroom for a cigarette break.) I was working and didn't want to give the impression I was slacking. How would he know where I was headed, right? A few months later my department got a call. The owner wanted me to come work in his office. Heck yeah!
A guy who worked for me told me his secret to avoid doing work in the Army was to walk around the base with a 2x4 on his shoulder. Nobody ever stopped him or asked him where he was going. They all assumed he was on the job.
If you admit you're wrong and make changes to whatever it is that you're wrong about, people will respect and appreciate you more.
Unfortunately this requires the swallow_ego.pill patch installed. Without this you will be incapable of being a civil person.
I’m kind of a watered-down Sheldon; it wasn’t until a few years ago I was diagnosed aspergic, prior to that I was winging things. I wondered why I always seemed to deal with things badly or in a way that was different to other people. Over the years I’ve taught myself to try and empathise with others, often I fail, but not for the want of trying.
Once, I admitted to my boss that I was wrong...he was in utter shock that I would admit that. He joked that he should get that in writing 😂
I have experience with this and can say it is quite accurate. My acceptance of responsibility for an error has earned a wealth of respect.
Same. Last several managers I've had loved that I own up to it when I screw up and I fix it instead of trying to hide my mistake. All of them trusted me because of it.
Load More Replies...Although changing for someone else and not because whatever you're changing is not good for you is not really the way to do it. i.e: you don't change some behavior so people will respect you. You change it because you realize it's not doing you any good and it's affecting your life in a bad way.
Worked with a guy who would lie constantly about things. What made it particularly infuriating was that it was an office of 5 of us. You could trace the mistakes back to his computer login. You could point it out to him and he would still be denying it, trying to blame the rest of us. You can't correct mistakes if you can't own up to them. After a while we started to suspect some of the errors, he was doing on purpose just to mess with us.
I ask people to tell me what they're mad at me about so that I can correct it, on the grounds that, if I'm doing it to them, I'm probably doing it to others as well and it would help me to change. But they never answer.
One of the best ways to look like a jerk is to not admit when you are wrong and the other person is right. Just try it once and you'll see how freeing it is to just say You are right and I'm wrong.
If you find you have a personal attribute you wish to change, figure out what the triggers are. When you later notice the trigger, mentally count to 3; it will pass. It usually will take a couple months to make the change.
Bored Panda also spoke to Tim Ventura, a futurist, digital marketing executive, and writer with a passion for the future. Tim explained that in a "perfect" simulation, “there is no way to prove that we live in a simulation. In fact, it has been argued that a 'perfect' simulation can't be viewed as a simulation at all—you might view it more as a parallel universe or another dimension.” This idea goes back to “Plato's Allegory of the Cave, and the easy way of thinking of it is this: if we live in a perfect simulation, then even if it's simulated and there is a 'top level' reality out there, we're still real,” Tim explained.
Meanwhile, “If the simulation has flaws or takes 'shortcuts,' then it may be possible to prove we live in a simulation. There are possible examples of this—for instance, it has been noted that the 'double slit experiment' (along with much of quantum uncertainty) in physics offers similar results to a gaming system that doesn't render map images that won't be seen by the player.”
As a doctor, I learned that earning grades, and learning are two different things.
The worst Dr I ever went to graduated at the top of his class. Zero communication skills, Zero ability to listen
The worst doctor I ever saw told me my seizures were "nervous ticks." They were a GP doctor and I had a separate specialist for my seizures. I felt ill, that's why I saw this doctor and it had nothing to do with my seizures. I never saw them again. It's like they were trying to overstep the boundaries in a field they were unfamiliar with.
Load More Replies...Would you rather have a brain surgery from a doctor who got straight A's, or one from a doctor who performed all successful brain surgeries?
Cramming is a good skill to have if you have a job that requires it like casework, project work, app design, tech support. Basicly anywhere you have to learn a ton of info quickly to do a one off job or task.
Completely true! I have high As, I only know the absolute basics and learn mostly through experience with cases and colleagues. My dad has high marks with two doctorates but can't do simple algebra!
You know what they call the person who graduates last in their class at medical school? - “Doctor”
You should have shared that with the teaching assistants who answered my questions with, "Why do you want to know? It's not going to be on the test."
Once you unlock ‘not giving a [damn] about other people’s thoughts’ you basically double your mana indefinitely.
Fun fact: Other people do not even think about you and even if they did, in 99% of all cases you'll never see them again in your life.
wait I forgot what IRL mana is. I woke up 45 minutes ago.
Load More Replies...Totally disagree with this. Being considerate and just plain nice is essentially caring about the effect you have on other people. We should all strive for kindness towards others.
I think this is more about what will people say if I eat this or what will people say if wear this shirt I love, will I look fat? Something like those things that makes a person insecure. This is not about basic kindness.
Load More Replies...I’ve been really insecure and self conscious my whole life and I’ve just started to do this and I can’t believe how good it feels
Just be the best you can be to everyone. Kind, helpful, etc and only be concerned for those closest to you. For me, that is God, my closest friends and emotionally closest family. The opinions of those who are toxic in your life just don't matter
Load More Replies...I believe it was Churchill who observed that when you are 20 you worry about what other people think, when you are 40 you don't care what other people think, and when you are 60 you realise that no-one was thinking about you in the first place.
It took me a long time to get past this because I had a mother who, granted she taught us manners, but did so in a way that we were always paranoid about what other people thought of us. Once I took the "IDGAF" attitude, I find I enjoy myself more. If people have a problem with my behavior, they are free to tell me...I won't take it personally. But if your complaint is based on your idea of what is proper and not the fact that I'm interfering with yours or someone else's ability to be happy or that I'm doing something illegal, then I don't want to hear it.
I just had a mind blown moment bigger than the time I realized a remote was called that because you controlled something remotely. I am probably so insecure about what everyone thinks of me because I think about everyone. I usually don't think bad things about people, but I am very cautious and take in all my surroundings. I guess that I assume everyone else will notice all the bad things about me because I take time to notice small details in everything. Mind blown.
This also happens when you hit middle age. When I was younger, I always thought I didn't care, but looking back, boy, was I wrong. Now that I'm about to turn 50, that amount of f's I give about what anyone thinks is a big fat zero. It's why I wear crocs with a smile now.
It’s a Māori word. It is honour. To have mana is to have great authority, presence or prestige. It is respect. Mana instils reverence and admiration.
Load More Replies...Once you start not giving a damn about other people's thoughts, you basically become a sociopath. As a species we have developed a large brain partly to be able to "simulate" the mind of the people around us. That's a very usefull abilty since we live in groups, and hence can benefit from all the options it offers. But a group only works when the majority of the members of it care about others that just themself, so they work toward a common goal and can help compensate for the weaknesses of the other members. If you stop caring about how other people think about you, it will quickly lead to actions that gets you excluded, which is often very harmful to an individual. The abilty to care about other peoples' thoughts and feelings was developed with a very specific purpose; so you should use that skill wisely, and not just consider it a hindrense of your ability to flourish in life. Your chances of propergation is also slim if you don't give a damn about your partner's thoughts.
What you are talking about is not the same as OP. It's not caring about what others think of me, personally, my appearance, actions, speech. I've learned to only care about the opinions certain individuals have of me-God, closest friends, closest family. Limited care about what boss and co-workers think of me. Yet I'm pretty sure that everyone who comes into contact with would say I'm caring , empathetic and generous. Because I make the effort to be so to literally everyone I come into contact with. The two attitudes are not exclusive of each other, they can in fact blend quite nicely
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You become the people you surround yourself with.
as long as you are a happy dog, it's all good. "gooooooood booooooooiiii!" (sorry, I HAD to say this)
Load More Replies...One of the effects of Covid lockdown is the realisation that time is precious and not to waste it with people who are constantly negative, sap your energy or don’t actually behave like friends. All the better for it.
That's why I love to have fun with kids. I lol honestly and easily. And it's soul warming.
Tim argues that ultimately, the view that we may live in a simulation is simply another way of expressing that the universe we live in has "structure." “It's best not to take it too seriously, because even if it's true, we're not bits & bytes on a desktop computer,” he warned and added: “The kind of equipment required to simulate an entire world would be very advanced, and different enough to us that it would likely appear to be magical in nature.”
“Speaking of which, that could be one advantage of living in a simulation: if the rules are programmed, then the programmers could change them. Perhaps Heaven does exist because somebody coded it for us,” Tim laughed.
If you have no complaints about your food service/staff at a restaurant, ask to see the manager and pay a compliment and a "thank you" about the server/host/staff. Usually people want to see a manager to complain, and a compliment is nearly always welcome.
I've gotten countless free drinks/appetizers/chips/% off my bill - all for just making a polite comment to management.
So many of these are "be nice and you'll get free stuff". What about just being nice to people because it's a lovely thing to do? Why do people have to be paid to be kind?
I read it more as, here's a nice thing to do that doesn't happen often and will be appreciated by the management. And as an added bonus you may get something free as well.
Load More Replies...i always do it!!! never got anything for free but it was not my intention, i do want to pay for what i order... btw it's a general custom for the host to offer coffee and/or spirits to the customers over here (i'm in Italy) and I think that's more than enough.
In chile the "bajativo" is on the house. My favorite being whiskey+amaretto
Load More Replies...Be kind anyway. Serving is a tough enough job that pays peanuts!
The other day my husband and I stopped at a donut shop for a treat. I told a little time, not long and was visiting with the girls behind the counter. When we leave, one girl said "thanks for being kind"! I asked 'what did I do?' She said it was just nice to have nice people in her shop. It really made my day.
This is kinda getting tired... just a warm thank you will do, not a big "I want to see the manager" stunt.
Unless the place is slow, don't do this. If your server is already running their ass off, it just means another thing that needs to be seen to, and something that might compromise service for another table.
Just don't try yo do that during busy service, noone will appreciate it, and manager will just get annoyed with a waste of precious time. Just tip your server well and say thank you, they will appreciate that much more. Then leave a review online and mention servers name. This is much more likely to get to the business owner.
Faking confidence usually leads to actually being more confident. I love the phrase fake it till you make it. Its incredible how much success is a byproduct of just acting confident about whatever you are doing.
I read an article by a woman who did an experiment and found out how much easier it is when you don't explain yourself all the time and instead just sound very sure of yourself. Instead of "we shouldn't do that because" she would say "we're not going to do that", and was surprised to find out that people just went along with it, no questions asked. Explaining would make them more inclined to argue.
This is useful in parenting too. The more I discuss certain things with my son the more he tries to push the boundaries. Some things you can't choose, like wearing clothes outside or brushing your teeth. However, he may choose for example what clothes he puts on or what toothbrush we buy. He needs us to give him boundaries, or else he always starts fighting over almost everything.
Load More Replies...I have met quite a few who are ‘faking it til they make it’ - psychologically, it is good to build confidence this way if you already have the ability and are just a bit nervous. Unfortunately, many I often meet have been told this and have no ability and it comes crashing down when they are found out. Be confident in what you can do, and what you know, not confident in what you don’t know. ( Fake the confidence and not the skill and you will be alright! :))
Well, this comes in total contradiction with another tip on this list that says : be honest about what you don't know. I guess both tips can be useful in different contexts... But I tend to be more in sync with the "be honest"one. Lying/faking has a tendency to come back and bite you in the a**, be it a small nibble or a shark jaw sized chomp...
The idea is to fake confidence, not knowledge. Don't pretend that you know something you don't, but pretend you don't feel bad about asking. I managed to overcome my fear of speaking in front of crowds like this.
Load More Replies...This might work in marketing or management, but in the tech world or in an industrial setting, it could get people injured or killed. I've worked with people who push buttons before they think about what's going to happen when they push that button.
not 'fake it 'til you make it'. the word Fake is still involved and word choice matters. try 'Act as If'.
Yes, I remember that one Dog Whisperer show about this scared dog. They went out with the dog on a leash and Cesar lifted the dogs tail from being tucked between his legs and it totally transformed the poor pup.
I take a deep breath and pretend to be a person that is confident enough to do what I need to do. Then I go home, get into bed and shake. Occasionally I throw up. I got a new car with extras for a few thousand under sticker price and under book price too.. Worth the few pounds to buy the price guide to see what it should cost.
My husband uses that phrase! He said it's good to follow it in job interviews. You may not know the whole job, but learning it can come after you have the job.
Not a cheat code, but an Easter egg:
If you ask someone if they know ALL the words to “I’m a little teapot” around 80% of the people you ask will start singing it.
Half of those will do the gestures.
I'm not a lawyer, but....I don't think this is legal....
Load More Replies...You are right! German here, never heard that song.
Load More Replies...This also works when you ask people what the 19th letter of the Alphabet is, say. They will start singing "the Alphabet Song" while counting on their fingers. It's hilarious
Hmmm. I knew it was S right away. I don't know all of them, but for some reason I seem to use this conversion a lot so I remember a few "milestone" letters like I=9, N=14 (the start of the second half), S & T are 19 and 20 and I can go back and forth from those when I need to. But I'm a huge nerd...
Load More Replies..."Here is my handle, and here is my handle....wait."
Load More Replies...the song makes the lyrics come easier. i can't say the alphabet if i don't sing the alphabet song in my mind (most of the times i sing it out loud though)
This reminds me of my son's "cheat code". He learned that if you casually hand something to someone while you're talking, they will almost always take it, no matter what - gum wrapper, empty pop bottle, whatever. They will just take it and hold it, and often won't even think about it until later. He still gets me with it.
If you tuck a chicken’s head under its wing and wave the chicken in a circle, it will automatically fall asleep. It’s not a very good cheat code, but it’s still a cheat code to get you sleeping chickens.
Wave it in a circle? Are you sure it's not fainting rather than falling asleep? Poor chicken...
Horizontal circle? Vertical? Spin around myself? I have so many questions.
Okay, I looked it up. There might be more than one way that works, but: Cup your hands underneath and lean over a bit, basically making your hands and arms into a swingset. Gently swing back and forth, like to the tune of a lullabye. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZOGZmlFXw0
Load More Replies...My mum was looking after neighbours chickens. She wanted to put them back in their pen thingie, one was running around and she couldn't catch it, so she pointed at it and said "Ut! Sit!". It lay down and stayed still and let her carry it to the pen. I said "wow i didnt know chickens could be trained, how did the neighbours train them?" She simply said" "i didnt think that would work, im as surprised as you are"
The chances of getting into a fistfight with a chicken are low but never non-existent...
Load More Replies...If hacks are there to make things easier, how should we call making life more complicated? I want to know how to label this chicken one...cause gosh I had to read it twice to understand it. I grew up with chickens but never was there a reason to know how to make them sleep especially using such a convoluted way 😀
I am a city boy who learned that trick decades ago. You’d be impressed by the number of country boys I taught it to.
Btw, you don’t need to wave it in a circle. Just hold it’s head under it’s wing for about 10 seconds.
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When married don't stop treating your significant other like you did when you were trying to win them over, it is a great way to show them you're still as infatuated with them as you were when you first met.
For me the initial infatuation mellowed to something deeper and far more precious. Plus we can fart in front of each other now.
try to introduce a fart-rating-system. That way it feels ...well...just funnier
Load More Replies...Pretty hard to maintain over decades, especially when the infatuation rush wears off in 6 months. Trying to keep that early relationship buzz just leads to confusing fits and spurts of over-attention. Relationships develop and change, just don't start taking your partner for granted.
Trying to catch that original spark makes miss out on the beautiful warm glow
Load More Replies...Remember to flirt with your S/O!! Keep the fun alive. My hubby and I flirt and act inappropriate all the time. The kids hate it but we love it and to be honest.... I love being around him because he is delightful and I know he feels the same about me!
This is why people think that marriage is a scam, because the other stops treating you the same way they did during the dating phase..
I will tell you what I tell my children: We have no control over what other people do. Even if someone else is not doing the right thing, we just have to make sure we are doing the right thing. Very often our behavior influences others.
Load More Replies...Ah yes, before the oxytocin wore off and the inevitable toxic abuse set in. I remember it fondly, if vaguely.
I'll add to this a thing I heard Tony Robbins talk about. Give yourself 100%, don't hold back your affection. When you hold back, the other person can sense it, and they worry about it and hold back too, you pick up on that and it just snowballs.
It’s so hard not to change dynamics once that piece of paper has been signed! Not consciously of course - things end up getting short-cutted, priorities change, life happens....
If any website offers a percentage coupon code like "10percentoff" try higher values like "20percentoff", they often have them.
If you are punctual, smartly dressed, and quite friendly, you can actually get pretty far in most jobs without being that good at anything or trying very hard.
A few months ago, we had a young guy just like this, who had to work in the library as community service (alternative sentence to detention). He was not at all into books, and honestly told us he had not be allowed to choose to do his service here or somewhere else. However, he was punctual, smartly dressed, friendly, and got interested in everything, asking questions and improving his skills and helpfulness everyday. On his last day, we offered him a drink, asked him about his experience. He told us "I've already tried various jobs - butcher, never again ; hairdresser, never again ; librarian : coolest job I've ever done". He didn't say more, but we could see he was really moved saying that, and somehow we guessed that despite the context of him being a convict, it was maybe the first time he'd felt welcome, trusted and actually involved in a job. That was really heartwarming for everyone.
It's not just appearance, its showing you make an effort at something. Most people don't have the opportunity to get to know you, so they unconsciously decide that if you make the effort to be neat, clean, and care for your clothing, you'll make an effort to do your job well.
Load More Replies...Yes.. absolutely , I agree. ;-) Helped & still helping me in my current job.
I prefer to be early.... Showing up early makes you look comfortable, arriving late makes you look stressed
performance isn't as important to most employers as a good attitude
When my daughter was little and still believed band-aids cured things, one time she had a belly ache so I put one on her belly and it made her feel better. Power of placebos!
The placebo effect is crazy... it can still work if you know it's a placebo.
Unfortunately the opposite is also true. Medicine works less if you do not believe in them.
Load More Replies...When my kids were small and needed a band-aid, I used to ask them how much it hurt. Depending on their answer, I drew a mouse or an elephant on a regular band-aid before applying. That always helped to make the pain go away. It also worked with every other kid I tried that.
My friends husband is from India, one day he walked out of the bathroom with a band aid on his forehead, it was to treat his headache, they grew up poor and did not have access to aspirin
Yes, this seems like one of those times you don't wanna explain things and just say oh that's what we do back in my country or it because of my culture/religion. Most people don't question too much if you give those answers. I know, I have done same many times.
Load More Replies...My grandfather had placebo surgery for untreatable cancer in the 1950s. The surgeons told my nan that the cancer was visible in most of his major organs. He lived for another 30 years and was none the wiser. I wouldn't believe this unless it was my own family that had gone through it.
Load More Replies...I can't decide whether to downvote or laugh. have an up vote
Load More Replies...This could be really helpful with Covid actually, A lot of people think that they will die if they get it, which worsens their symptoms and makes them more sick, so if instead when someone got sick with covid, the doctor said, "your symptoms aren't bad at all, you will probably recover in a couple days" they will probably have a faster recovery time, and be less sick.
My daughter was sad once and she put a band aid on her eye to stop crying
The placebo effect is really a demonstration of the power of your mind; and how much influence your mind has over your physical body.
Underpromise and Overperform. Say you'll achieve less than you think you will and then do more and everyone will be impressed (works well at a job)
Here's what I do - they ask me to do something in 6 days. I know I can do it in 3 days... but I don't tell them that. So I do the job in 3 days (making sure no one knows it's finished), and then goof off for the remaining 3 days :)
That's a very good way to paint yourself in a corner... Don't underestimate the capacity of people to know what you're able to do. If you say "I'll have this task done in 3 days" and you hand it over the day after, a lot of people will expect that you complete that particular task in 1 day everytime. Be honest, give a fair estimate. If you can't respect the deadline, say it and try to reach an agreement. If you eventually do it faster, also tell it like it is "THIS task took me a little less time that I thought THIS time" (maybe you had a slow week and could put more time than usual in it). Doesn't mean it will always be done this rapidly.
Scotty on being a miracle worker. Kirk asks "Mr. Scott. Have you always multiplied your repair estimates by a factor of four?" To which Scotty replies, "Certainly, Sir. How else can I keep my reputation as a miracle worker?"
This also keeps people from being upset because you gave them the quickest time frame you could do it in and if you go over, you seem incompetent. By giving yourself some cushion, you avoid this happening.
I learned that an adequately done project completed on time as promised is worth more than something grandiose that is late.
Depends. In big companies, where everyone is too busy minding their own business, they won't notice your merit. They won't even take your achievements for granted, because their minds are simply too busy with their own tasks. So, just be realistic and make sure the right people know about your merits.
Say “Thank you” instead of “I’m sorry” in most situations.
“Thank you for your patience,” is much better than, “I’m sorry I’m late.”
Actually, if your lateness is your fault, you should apologise. People tend to approach this advice with no nuance, when in fact there are times when apologising is still better.
Agreed, the true lifehack in this case is you can say both one after the other :^) "I'm sorry I'm late, but thank you for your patience"
Load More Replies...I find this response very annoying... It is as though the person who was late get's to decide how Ithe other person should have dealth with it, as if being patient is their responsibility when they were the one being inconvenienced. An apology for being late and inconveniencing the other person is appropriate and generally appreciated....it also shows you take accountability for your actions.
Never worked for me. I'm always thinking : "No need to thank me: I had no choice!"
Nothing ticks me off like knowing someone is deliberately attempting to manipulate me.
Load More Replies...This only works if the thing isn't your fault or you shouldn't be accepting responsibility. Someone's been waiting on you to respond to an email, but you've been on leave and had an auto-response saying so - i.e. they had no reason to get a response any faster? 'I've been out of the office; thanks for your patience' is fine. You've just been sitting on it for a week for no reason? 'Apologies for the late response' is much more appropriate.
I say both together so they know that it was my fault and I inconvenienced them and I am grateful for them doing something for me
"Honey, I just want to say, I'm sor-, uh, I mean, THANK YOU for letting me sleep with your sister." "I ran over your dog. Thanks!" "I ate the last ice cream bar. You're welcome."
Act like you belong. In any situation. It will change your life. Also I've found that you become what you pretend to be. So be good.
Cool is whose eyes is the most important part. Not just cool.
Load More Replies...I'm aiming a bit lower. just a jackpot lottery winner. I've already ordered my yacht 😁
Load More Replies...I'm going to walk into the police precinct and pretend I'm a cop....wish me luck!
Kurt Vonnegut - be careful who you pretend to be. You are who you pretend to be.
I try to be always cool, suave, and sophisticated. I like giving off the impression I'm a vampire ;).
I read god and didn’t think of it, then read it again (I always have to read things twice) and read it as good. Either way works though.
I had a professor in college who, while lecturing, suddenly let out a huge fart. Without pausing, he turned his head as if talking to someone behind him, said "Gesundheit," and continued lecturing as if nothing had happened.
It immediately diffused defused any potential awkwardness and embarrassment, and I vowed to use the same strategy if the same thing ever happened to me in front of a large crowd of people.
I think this needs explaination: "Gesundheit" is German and originally means "health", but you also use it to say "bless you" e.g. when someone sneezed.
This is actually a common custom in the US as well, though many people probably don't know its origin (or how to spell it).
Load More Replies...When someone would fart around my dad he would say 'aw you blew me a kiss' and people would laugh and it would not be so embarrassing .
My English teacher did this. He was trying to explain the workings of a sonnet when he let out a HUGE fart. He immediately responded to it by saying "at least one part of my body talks sense".
I usually say "gas leak" if someone farts. It has the same effect.
Gesundheit is the German way to say 'bless you', like after someone sneezes. He was saying it to his ass.
Load More Replies...One time when my boss was standing and talking to me at my desk, she let one go. . . we both just ignored it. It is just a bodily function after all, we all do it, and sometimes one just sneaks out. Really no need to bring attention to it and make the situation worse by embarrassing the flatulent person.
You can borrow almost all of your textbooks from the library as a college student because of modern book rental agreements most colleges have.
WorldCAT allows you to be linked to almost any library in America, and all you have to do is find your book in the system and fill out a request form at a library and it should be there in a week. I’ve saved probably $2000 doing this in my first two years of college.
Elon musk read every book in his home town library
Load More Replies...Unfortunately some colleges get around this by limiting check out times to one week. If every student did this there would not be any copies to check out.
And you can pass it on. If you do own a book, instead of selling it for a fraction of its cost, donate it to the school library. You're not losing out on a lot of money if you do, and you won't feel cheated by the pennies the buy-back pays you.
I like owning the book the book so I can fill it with notes, and use it after my education was done in my work/hobbies.
Well, sure! But the books are so expensive (in the US) that it is a true hardship for some. I was lucky to be able to buy mine. But I'm glad their are other options.
Load More Replies...half.com (owned by eBay) was the best website because it was exclusively for buying and reselling books and textbooks. I saved hundreds in college using it. But it no longer exists.
Except if professors change the text books every year and demand you buy them if you want to attend their lectures.
I was able to do this recently for several textbooks. They let me check them out for the whole semester! But my daughter, at another University (both state unis but different states), swears they never have her textbook available and they aren't allowed to check them out very long anyway. So it may depend on where you are. Another way to save is to see if the previous edition has been significantly changed. Sometimes, they might just have minor changes or some different case examples. I was able to use a $6 previous edition several times, instead of the new $100 or more version. That one is kind of trial and error; it helps if you can find out how textbook dependent the class is and if you are not in a rapidly changing subject.I actually discovered this by accidentally buying the wrong edition off Amazon, thinking I got a real steal over the bookstore price, and it was barely any different from the new one.
Most academic libraries also have textbooks on reserve, available for a few hours at a time. Get it, scan what you need, return it.
This is an excellent idea! I took a course once, the book was expensive, and the dunce who taught it, never had us use the book!
Doing your own research especially on the important stuff. You would be amazed about the bad information people use to make life choices.
Nah, I'd rather live my life based on the sound advice of some fool on Youtube who hasn't left his cellar for 4 years and is living on his dad's money.
Doing research also gives you more power when going up against the experts. When my son was arrested after endless times of asking his Psychiatrist to take him off certain medications, my research not only on the harmful effects of the medications he was on paired with research on what medication he was supposed to be on gained me a court order in which the Psychiatrist had to comply. The result...my son's a happy guy now with no other run ins with the law. Sometimes the experts don't know best.
This is highly frowned upon, especially by people with certifications, degrees, etc. F**k y’all.
As long as your research is peer reviewed from a reputable organization, sure.
Set the do not disturb feature on your phone to turn on from 10pm-7am.
You will sleep so much better without constant notifications from emails, games, or your mother in law who wants to send a group message at midnight because she is in a different timezone.
If you have people you want to be able to reach you (family/girlfriend/boyfriend), you can make a special list that will let only their calls/messages come through.
I turn my phone off at night. Whatever it is, it can wait until morning.
I want to stay reachable for my elderly parents and freinds, so I just use the sleepmode and designed to let calls through.
Load More Replies...I thought this was OBVIOUS. is there someone who lets their phone's notifications sound on during the night??
Yes. My father in law. We ended up on a family trip together. His phone kept me awake all night long.
Load More Replies...I do that and it's really good. I have only my direct family on the emergency list (their calls, but only phone calls) will come through no matter what, but I will receive no messages etc.
I considered it, then realised what if an unknown number was calling because my Mum or someone else I loved was in trouble...nope, guilt would kill me.
There is setting I think that if you get a call from an unknown number so many times in a row, it will push the call through
Load More Replies...Very true and I hate the mentality of what if something serious happens. Call 911... what the crap am I suppose to do if someone got into a wreck or something...
So you wouldn’t want to know immediately if your dad had a heart attack, or sister/car accident, mother collapsed, etc? Hm, ok.
Load More Replies...I put mine on Do Not Disturb, but exempt my immediate family, who would call in an emergency.
I do this. I turn the volume and vibration off manually before sleep every time. And I have the dark mode and blue lights filters activated automatically at my chosen times, just in whatever rare case I happen to wake up and needing to check my phone for a moment. I don't work in a life saving emergency, it's just entertainment contents, even if there are unexpected sudden urgencies, nobody will die by the time I wake up. Human decency first.
I have the "Do not own a cellphone" setting on 24/7. You'd be amazed at how few cellphone notifications I get.
I would not do this for a simple reason, I would normally add my sister to the list because she's in a different time zone and has no concept of time. But when she called me at 4am, I knew it was serious. My father disappeared for 36 hours and she was calling asking me to post pictures of him online to get people to look for him. I also posted a notice on Craigslist. If I hadn't done so, the hospital where he ended up at would not have known to call us as he had suffered a mild stroke which worsened his dementia making him unable to communicate with people who he was and who to contact. Please consider this before making yourself unavailable.
Walk with a purpose. For some reason, people think you're busy and you don't get hassled.
Living in a small city and being part of a known family, I mastered this at a very young age. It was so annoying to go out with my mom or my grandpa and having to stop on almost every fücking block cause they ran into someone they knew... One of the many reasons I always wear sunglasses and headphones.
When I go back to my hometown, I've been known to lie to old school mates who recognize me, and deny ever meeting them in order to avoid conversations.
Load More Replies...If you walk with a purpose, you'll also be less attractive to muggers. They won't want to mess with someone who is confident because you may be willing to fight back.
Standing up straight and looking at where you're going instead of at other people is a great way to get people to move out of your way.
I've found that wearing a large hat, like the lady above helps too, people get out of the way when you're walking anywhere. It's true, try it.
I have a heated throw blanket in my living room- in the winter, I wrap my coat up in it , crank up the heat and in a few minutes, my coat is toasty warm so I can brave the coldest day.
Here’s the opposite: clothes just of the dryer on a hot summer day, but you have to dress and leave immediately? Five minutes in the freezer will cool them nicely. People who wear uniforms to work can really benefit from this.
Using tumble dryers when you live in a sunny country is madness. Us in the UK known for rain hardly ever use our dryers , winter only .
As most heaters in USA are forced air, which lowers the humidity, you don't need one in the winter either. Lived in Idaho and didn't have a dryer.
Load More Replies...In the winter I have 2 duvets on my bed and I put my underwear between them at night. They're lovely and warm the next morning. No cold bra and panties next to my skin.
if you're warm when you go outside on a cold day, you're likely to remain warm (if dressed properly); but if you're cold when you go outside, no matter what you're wearing, you're going to stay cold
When it's really hot I wear wet shirts to bed and hope I fall asleep before it's dried up
I used to put my coat in the tumble dryer in the winter. So nice feeling to put that on!
I'm suddenly remembering the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer keeps putting his pants in the oven to get them warm. Jesus, that show
Here's a poor option I always used. Lay your clothes for tomorrow under your blanket sleep on them then get dressed under your covers. Pretty warm....
As an adult you can tell almost any kid who is running to stop running and they will.
Also if you have a child who is dragging their feet and looking at the ground as they walk just quietly tell them 'Bet I can beat you there' and they will perk up and get there quickly. Make a game out of things. That is what motivates them every time.
Still works like a charm on my 10 y.o.
Load More Replies...Because they're behaving in a dangerous fashion and you don't want anyone to get hurt.
Load More Replies...Can confirm. In schools running in the hallway is forbidden. Kids know that and that's why they are running. Any adult can make them stop doing that. For about 3 minutes.
As a parent, I can confirm that this is absolutely not true. It's "stop running. Stop running!! STOP RUNNING!!! STOP. RUNNING. Do not run. Walk. Walk slower. Walk in a way that does not resemble running. Stop doing the thing that you are doing that you insist isn't running." And they will not stop.
Digitalin I just say freeze! And they stop in their tracks. I have them get behind me and follow me like a momma duck and ducklings. If they try to get ahead of me they have to go to the end of the line. Worked with 200 something 2-6 graders on field trips. I took a grade level at a time to see the art museum and then take a walking tour of the outside sculptures in the museum area. Their teachers walked with them too though. Let them know the rules and expected behavior ahead of time.
Why the hell would you want to do that??? Sounds like something a paedophile would share on line.
Yes or let the toddler 'help' carry the bag as in they hold one handle and you hold the other one.. And they will suddenly start walking at a normal toddler place instead of stop every few steps.
Not asking or talking about drama going on at the work place
This needs to be much higher up, because it’s common sense coupled with dignity and kindness. You will start noticing good effects very soon.
Every time a co-worker starts gossiping about workplace drama or complaining about a third co-worker, I refuse to get involved. I just nod and say things like "that's unfortunate" and "well maybe she was just having a bad day". I am NOT getting pulled into any of that, but they seem to appreciate that I'm prepared to offer a sympathetic ear so it works out pretty well.
Now *that's* irony coming from you. You thrive on drama so badly that you try your best to cause it.
Load More Replies...It's like the old saying from moms "You go to school to learn, not for a fashion show." You go to work to earn a paycheck, not to be entertained.
Wrong. When there's drama going on at the workplace talk about it with your friend / partner / spouse. It's important that they know, because you'll have a hell of a lot to explain when you didn't and suddenly you have to tell them that you got transferred from Texas to Alaska.
Also, people like talking about themselves. When you meet someone just ask them questions about their lives or the things they've done - if you have enough questions you won't ever run out of things to talk about during the conversation and they walk away feeling sooooo heard. Plus, then you know more about them and next time you see them you will have even more to talk about or follow up on - "hey last time I saw you you were mentioning this thing at your job, how did that go?" etc.
My mum gave me this piece of advice years ago and it really works! The funniest time was at a very crowded party, I knew very few people and ended up talking to an older man who I'd never met before. Followed my mum's advice and he ended up unloading about his difficulties with his son while I listened and tried to give a little advice when he asked. At the end of the conversation he asked me out and I had to explain I was already seeing someone (not at the party due to illness). The man was very polite and simply said "You're lovely, he's very lucky" and walked away. Friend of mine later came up and said "wow, you were doing well there, did you know he's a millionaire?"
As an introvert I disagree. Introverts like to talk about topics, where they can learn something new. Just presenting the same "elevator pitch" constantly to new people trying to bond with them will seem pointless and boring at best, and in worst case it will feel like an interogation where you have to present the right answers. That can raise the stresslevel of an introvert enourmously like when you are being examined. Some people can live very troublesome lives, and it can be a real struggle to act kind and honestly in a conversation while constantly trying to stear clear of topics that are to sensitive/improper to talk about, when the person "interviewing" you want to make it all about you and your life. Proper bonding with another human requires skill and finisse, and should not just be boiled down to a simple rule such as: "Just have a conversation about the person you are talking to". Empathy and proper situational awareness is very important in conversations.
I learned this from working in Japan: Tell a Japanese person you visited Disneyland, they will say, "Really? How was it? Tell me about your trip". They then listen without interrupting, except to ask other questions. Tell the same thing to an American when you get home, and they immediately respond with.... "Oh I was there last month! It was great! I did this and that and then I did this and oh my god I rode this one ride and then Mickey Mouse walked by and we had such a great time and and and blah blah blah blah blah"... all while you just stand there in silence.
I used to be that person who was thinking what they were going to say while the other person is talking.... Then I realized that others can tell when you're doing that and it makes them feel unimportant...I'm working on making sure that I'm not just listening but also asking them questions
Mirroring people’s body language and tone of voice will make them comfortable with you quite quickly.
Likewise if they are angry lowering you voice and talking quietly will cause them to follow suit. Works well with parents to diffuse the situation.
Until you do it to the extend that it becomes creepy and people will think of you as a sexual predator or a psychopathic murderer.
I think it can also go the opposite way because you could appear creepy to them. I do agree with the post though, just don't over do it, you know?
You can mute the self check-out kiosks.
I've looked it up- apparently there is a small volume/mute button at the bottom on the start screen. This may vary shop to shop
That can be a bit annoying for the next person who needs to use it though.
Load More Replies...At the gas station pump with the video screen... press the 2nd from top, button on right side of screen. it mutes the ads.
But I like getting the timing just right so it begs "Please, please, please" (never getting to "Put the item in the bagging area")
Not all of them. Some grocery store chains have made it where you can turn it down but not off. Walmart/Target they allow you to do this, but Tom Thumb, Kroger.... nope. It's annoying!
Believe in yourself. I know it sounds cheesy but it’s true: when you believe in yourself anything is possible because you are no longer bound to the expectations of others. Your life truly becomes your own. Close, close, close runner up would be awareness over your thoughts and emotions. More awareness, more control, less reactions, more happiness.
I 100% agree with the first paragraph, but believing in yourself can for some take a lot of effort and doesn’t always come naturally. The second paragraph takes time, first tackled this properly at about 21, I'm still working on it 30 years later. Getting there.
Attitude helps with chronic pain. Exhaustion make this really difficult. Over 4 decades of taking over the breathing and making myself relax has helped me do it without thinking about it. I use anything that I find helps me even if someone tells me it shouldn't work
Careful, believing yourself too much is where the Karen or self entitlement born from
If you're ever trying to get somebody to agree with you, nod a lot when you make points and say their first name often. It's used frequently in sales so on the flip side, if you don't want to be sold something and you notice the salesperson doing these things, you can be aware of what they're doing.
People who use my first name too often in a conversation set off alarm bells in my lizard brain... It's up there with that sad attempt of showing "dominance" by placing a hand or touching my shoulder. It's like someone has read some kind of self help book on how to "influence" people. What I like to do when someone does this to me, is pause, just a second or two too long before I reply. Long enough for an ocean of self doubt to fill their mind.. deflating sense of confidence they thought using my name frequently would give them. A lot can be said with silence and eye contact. A lot more than repeating a name and touching shoulders!
Yes! This is so totally true for me too. Some people so over use the name thing.... I know my name thanks, no need to keep saying it.
Load More Replies...Use the word "soon" instead of "later" with your loved ones or if you are trying to form a new connection with someone. It shows you are interested in talking but currently busy with something.
The perfect middle ground I say! People might take "soon" as the next minute or two, emotionally, but soon-ish is both friendly and gives you more time!
Load More Replies...Better yet, pull out your calendar and schedule something right then, shows that you're not just putting them off but serious about it
Get a credit card like AMEX Blue that has 3-6% cash back at groceries. Buy all your items at grocery store. I'll use Kroger as an example. You can buy normal groceries + gift cards (Amazon, Delta, H&M, McDonald's, whatever) and get the cash back on that deal. Then, if you time it with their 4x Fuel Rewards, you can save $1/gallon off gas up to 35 gallons. Altogether, the math works out to being 12-15% off pretty much everything iirc.
This does work but Be careful. The credit card companies will cancel you real quick if they think you are doing something called manufactured spending to reap the rewards.
Does anybody actually still offer 3-6%? I used to get 1% back on one of my cards, but that has been slashed. The logic works though - I get points on one of my cards that turn into vouchers every quarter. I spend on that card in preference and pay the balance off every month. It's not a lot, but it is extra money you wouldn't otherwise have had.
If the card has a yearly fee, this pretty much washes out most of your savings. Look for a card with no yearly fee.
How to get better credit points for buying a house? A card without an yearly fee and 3-6℅ cashback that doesnot track my purchases and sells them to data collectors,where can I find such card company?
And everything you buy gets tracked. The credit cards sell ALL your purchase info w identifiers to the data collectors. The West has a social credit system just like China but it's run by corporations. The EU allows this too
Pretty much the only way to avoid that is to pay exclusively in cash. Any check, debit, or credit card will tie into your information.
Load More Replies...Pause- Like wait. when asked a question or engaging in idle conversation and someone is speaking do not immediately begin your reply when they stop speaking, they usually aren't done. ANd in the case of questions most people and finished and if you give them time they usually provide teh answer to the question as well, so yeah LISTEN as well.
Also a SHORT pause will come of as you being a comfordable and confident human being. It shows that you value what the other has said enough to take the time to really analyse it and search for a good answer, instead of just blabering out the first thing that comes to your mind (but don't pause for simple questions with simple answer). If you answer too quickly, it can seem like you interrupt the information flow from the person speaking to you, because you don't consider what he/she is saying is important, and has just been waiting for an opening to real off a speach you prepared before hearing what he/she had to contribute. Inducing a feeling of not being heard is never good when trying to bond with anyone. It is razor thin edge though, if you pause TOO LONG, it will come across as you being slow in the head and hence waisting valuable time, or that the person speaking to you have to drive the conversation to keep it going. But when mastered well, pauses can be very effective.
just because you don't have the skill they ask for on the job description, doesn't mean you shouldn't apply, You can always get the job first then learn later. Or in most cases, they will almost always train you before you officially start. You're already halfway in the battle when you apply.
Some skills are essential to the post. In the person spec it should be listed as Essential and Desirable. Be really clear with the essentials list and take an around-about shot at the desirables. It's appreciated, even if you don't have the skills from the desirables list, that you've at least recognised you might have some transferrable skills from another field/area of expertise (source: I do recruiting)
Doesn't always work. I've tried this in accounting because I had almost spot on experience and skills but they want everything spot on
They didn't want "perfect" employees, they prefer "Godly" ones
Load More Replies...Gonna apply to be a surgeon... Never went to med school but I'm sure I'll learn during the training session
As a manager who has hired many people, I will tell you that if you fit the first three or four items in the description, apply for the job. We advertise for our dream employee and then settle. No one will have everything in the description, and if they do, they will want more money than companies are willing to pay.
I was told to see it more as a wishlist than a list of requirements. Of course there is some mandatory requirements you have to fulfill in order to get certain jobs. E.g. you ought to have a pilot's licence if you want to fly a Boing 737. But some of the things on those job postings are just a list of "nice properties" ´some of which may actually be downright impossible to achieve at once. A classic example is we seek a newly educated engineer (so we can pay a low salary and have him work for us many years) with 10 years of experience (so we don't have to teach him, and his abilities to possess a job has been tested by someone else). Such a person does not exist, and if that kept people not forfilling both requirements from applying they would not recieve any applications. Other requirements are just more or less automatically added from a template, some of which does not make sense. E.g. asking for an extroverted person to do an accounting job, when its better suited for an introvert.
That has led some companies to include "do not apply if you don't fulfill all the requirements" in their offers
Portable power bank cell phone charger in my car. Basically I got tired of my cars slow speed of charging my phone off the cigarette lighter. So I bought a 10000 mah power bank with fast charging capability. I plugged it into my cars cigarette port so that whenever my car is on its charging. Then I just plug my phone in for a fast charge on the road and the power bank might go down but will gradually recharge over time when my car is on. So basically it's as if I created a sort of water tower but for power. I was unhappy with the speed at which power was coming in so I installed something to let it build up pressure and speed up the flow. Another bonus is that it can be easily removed and taken with me. So if I am at say a restaurant and need to charge my phone I can take it in with me and continue the charge.
I have two external chargers and alternate keeping one with me and letting the other charge. I haven't run out of power on my phone in ages!
I got a small one that can charge my phone twice before needing a recharge, and a big one to plug in my portable graphene heat pad. Great for bad pain days when I have medical appointments. No more hot water bottles in public.
Call people by their name, but not annoyingly or too often. That gets creepy in a hurry. People love to hear their name and you're a good person for remembering it.
I feel uncomfortable when I hear my name so this doesn't apply to everyone I guess :/
My partner too. I used to call him by his name and he would get all akward
Load More Replies...I hate saying people's names... Idk why it makes me uncomfortable
Same! I thought I was the only one, haha. I never EVER say people's names. Not good, I know.
Load More Replies...This can backfire if you aren't using their actual name. My name is James, and there is very little that pisses me off more than people who hear me introduce myself as "James" and immediately start calling me "Jim". My name is NOT "Jim", and I haven't gone by that since I was a very small child, yet most of the people who do this act like it's some kind of magical short cut to Friends-ville. Wrong; you have pretty much just instantly guaranteed that we will *never* be friends.
Also: learn if they have a preferred form/nickname, and how they pronounce their names. My name has a common mispronunciation (think Mary being pronounced as Marie) and it aggravates me. Often people will say 'I don't care how you say it!'; they probably mean 'I've given up on teaching people how to say my name'.
Annoys me because I don't like my name. Never have, and it's too late to be known by a different one that I prefer. People would get confused and one group not know who the other is referring to.
The "remain silent" dialogue option is useful, even if you have to scroll down to find it. It can keep you from failing or getting locked out of certain quest lines.
Take a 1 dollar bill and flip it over. Now tape a 5 dollar bill and tape it to the end of the upside down single with as little tape as possible to make it secure. Now feed the five dollar bill into a change machine. The coin machine reads the five, gives you quarters, then reads the upside down single, rejects that, and boom, you got yourself a felony.
Hahaha, I'm sure I'm not supposed to laugh at that last sentence, but I did. I'll see myself out.
Another idiot that wants to be certain everyone knows it! Mission accomplished!
If you want to tell someone HEY F**K YOU but can't because you'd get in trouble for it cause you're like at work or something, you can just say "bless your heart" instead and it means the same thing.
Or say that you will pray for them- especially as I am not a Christian ;-)
Lol "I'll pray for you.........in another religion"
Load More Replies...The Irish version is: If you can't say anything nice then just say, 'That's Nice.'
I don't know... if someone said that to me I'd pick up on it right away. It sounds too condescending.
I have a skin colored earpiece Bluetooth that I use it work without anyone knowing so that I can listen to music and podcasts.
i just wear my headphones at work. They are black and clearly visible so people know.
Old person here. Why can't people just be where they are these days. Why always having to be somewhere else with music or other things. I would think it is contributing to the whole feeling isolated these days. We are purposefully doing the very thing that is making loneliness such an issue. You'd be surprised what you miss out on by doing that. Plus, it impedes your ability to "know your surroundings". Comes in handy if something dangerous is happening or might be about to happen. This is an honest question not a generational complaint.
Millions of people worldwide would give their right arm to have the educational opportunities that Western children and teenagers are so keen to throw away.
Load More Replies...Hide ice cream or popsicles inside an empty resealable vegetable bag from Costco or any other store with large resealable bags. Your kids will have no idea they’re there and you can disperse them accordingly or hog them for yourself without them knowing.
When watching the news, if they show you the thing happening, believe it. If they are talking about a thing happening, don't believe it. It's 2018, everyone has 1080p cameras in their pockets. If it isn't being shown to you it is nonesense.
they put the reddit top comments on their articles, they don't copy them from old articles
Load More Replies...Sorry with legit and well sourced media you can trust what you hear. With any source the world if deep fake makes seeing not believing.
Not all news shows are real news. Fox is listed as an entertainment show not a news show.
Unless it’s the Christchurch shooting. Cindy banned the media from showing the footage out of respect to the victims and their community.
At a burrito shop get half of one protein and half of another. They usually end up giving you like 20% more (exact science here) plus you get mo’ flavor
Entering the code "911" into your phone lets you spawn copcars.
In negotiations about anything that you or your group needs never explain only your point of view. Explain first and always how it will benefit the other party. People don't care about your problems. They respond to things that will benefit them. Sad but true.
Also, make them agree with something, even if it's completly unrelated. "It's a beautiful sunna day outside" and they agree, you start of better
Load More Replies...I wish I'd come upon this article -seriously- Sixty Years Ago! Some points hit me like lightning bolts; so many things wrong in my life that could have gone better! Too late now, I'm 73, but wow, I wish!
It's never a bad time to be a good person. And it's never a good time to be a bad person. Better late then never.
Load More Replies...Could just be my bad memory but next time you are out buy a selection of birthday/anniversary/"whatever" cards and put them somewhere safe so they are there when you need them. Sometimes we forget these things. Also, (unrelated) learn to just say "no" with no explanation. Took me far too long to learn this.
I don't like how people say "Oh, it's so easy to be nice," because it's really not. Just an opinion, but I find it difficult to sometimes bite my tongue from making a snarky comment or cooperate with people who I don't agree with.
Exactly. And it's only ever easy to be nice to nice people who are being nice to you. Being nice to someone who's a determined bumhole to you is a skill, and sometimes a superpower.
Load More Replies...no. just saying 'no'. it is a powerful word on so many levels but such a boon to you as you learn to say no to things you don't want to do and learn not to allow others make you feel guilty for doing so. so many people - including myself - say yes to things they don't want to do just because it is expected of them or they don't want the other person(s) to think badly of them. self care is important and saying no is part of that. now, if it is something that is very important and/or necessary then you have to decide /weigh that value. but, i am talking about issues that aren't going to cause harm or problems that are irreparable. the other thing is saying 'i'm sorry' if you are wrong. it doesn't make you look weak but strong in your integrity and character. will you lose friends, make family angry? possibly. but that also is a boon to you as you will know who values you as much as you value yourself. doesn't make you a selfish a-hole.
My favorite quote when it comes to making important decisions: "If you try, you might fail, But if you don't try, you'll never succeed." -Thomas A. Knight
The First Sergeant at advanced training ended his orientation talk yesterday telling us: "Be where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be doing what you're supposed to be doing, and don't attract my attention, and you'll do well.
If you wanna improve your friendships, become a giftbringer. Give your friends small thoughtful things. Like if you and a friend plan to meet at a cafe, show up early and buy them a coffee before they get there. You can pick wildflowers and show up with a bouquet, that one is free. You can bake them something. You can ask to do their dishes when you're at their place. Just small gifts like that will go a long way and swing right back at you. Very cool friendships await.
In negotiations about anything that you or your group needs never explain only your point of view. Explain first and always how it will benefit the other party. People don't care about your problems. They respond to things that will benefit them. Sad but true.
Also, make them agree with something, even if it's completly unrelated. "It's a beautiful sunna day outside" and they agree, you start of better
Load More Replies...I wish I'd come upon this article -seriously- Sixty Years Ago! Some points hit me like lightning bolts; so many things wrong in my life that could have gone better! Too late now, I'm 73, but wow, I wish!
It's never a bad time to be a good person. And it's never a good time to be a bad person. Better late then never.
Load More Replies...Could just be my bad memory but next time you are out buy a selection of birthday/anniversary/"whatever" cards and put them somewhere safe so they are there when you need them. Sometimes we forget these things. Also, (unrelated) learn to just say "no" with no explanation. Took me far too long to learn this.
I don't like how people say "Oh, it's so easy to be nice," because it's really not. Just an opinion, but I find it difficult to sometimes bite my tongue from making a snarky comment or cooperate with people who I don't agree with.
Exactly. And it's only ever easy to be nice to nice people who are being nice to you. Being nice to someone who's a determined bumhole to you is a skill, and sometimes a superpower.
Load More Replies...no. just saying 'no'. it is a powerful word on so many levels but such a boon to you as you learn to say no to things you don't want to do and learn not to allow others make you feel guilty for doing so. so many people - including myself - say yes to things they don't want to do just because it is expected of them or they don't want the other person(s) to think badly of them. self care is important and saying no is part of that. now, if it is something that is very important and/or necessary then you have to decide /weigh that value. but, i am talking about issues that aren't going to cause harm or problems that are irreparable. the other thing is saying 'i'm sorry' if you are wrong. it doesn't make you look weak but strong in your integrity and character. will you lose friends, make family angry? possibly. but that also is a boon to you as you will know who values you as much as you value yourself. doesn't make you a selfish a-hole.
My favorite quote when it comes to making important decisions: "If you try, you might fail, But if you don't try, you'll never succeed." -Thomas A. Knight
The First Sergeant at advanced training ended his orientation talk yesterday telling us: "Be where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be doing what you're supposed to be doing, and don't attract my attention, and you'll do well.
If you wanna improve your friendships, become a giftbringer. Give your friends small thoughtful things. Like if you and a friend plan to meet at a cafe, show up early and buy them a coffee before they get there. You can pick wildflowers and show up with a bouquet, that one is free. You can bake them something. You can ask to do their dishes when you're at their place. Just small gifts like that will go a long way and swing right back at you. Very cool friendships await.

