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As you go through life—whether walking gently barefoot or dashing through the undergrowth without a care in the world—you naturally pick up some wisdom and experience along the way. And like the pebbles you’ll find on the beach, all of these insights can look very different, ranging from the practical (‘lift with your legs not your back’) all the way to the cliched but deeply true (‘spending time with your loved ones is far more important than your career’). Though some people simply advise you to regularly sharpen your shovel because it makes a world of difference.

Twitter user @Dustmopp31 made a lot of people smile when he asked them to share random but great bits of advice they’d like to give others. The question quickly spread beyond the boundaries of Twitter, however, and drew quite a lot of redditors from the r/MadeMeSmile subreddit into the discussion as well.

We’ve collected the very best, most interesting, and even quirky pieces of advice shared by these internet users. Scroll down, upvote your fave posts, and if you have any advice to share with all the other Pandas reading this, consider dropping by the comment section at the bottom of this article. Got your notepads ready? Let’s go!

I reached out to a couple of experts in their fields to hear what advice they'd give others. I spoke to British comedy writer, author, singer-songwriter, and all-round creative person Ariane Sherine in order to take a peek at the pearls of wisdom she's collected over the years. "What you give is usually what you get back. I’ve given my daughter endless kindness and love and she’s turned into a very kind and loving girl. But there are adults who don’t respond well to kindness and will throw it back in your face, so with adults, the lesson is: only love those who love you," she told Bored Panda how she approaches life. Scroll down for my interviews with Ariane, as well as with fitness expert and entrepreneur Jack Bly.

#1

Woman sitting on concrete stairs Leave the first time he frightens you. Because it won't be the last.

Technical_Acadia_218 , Zhivko Minkov Report

I asked comedy writer Ariane what advice she'd give anyone who keeps failing at something. Her approach is to be flexible while staying persistent and try something else. "Either another way of doing what you failed at, or something else entirely, but do persist. Not every seed you plant will grow, so you often have to plant many seeds in order that one will sprout."

I was curious if Ariane would do anything differently or give her past self any advice. However, she told me that she doesn't regret anything. "I wouldn’t tell my teenage self anything, as if she’d done anything different then I wouldn’t have my wonderful daughter now! But for other teenagers, I’d say: don’t waste yourselves on people who don’t care about you. Give your love to people who do."

#2

Woman hugging boy on her lap Apologize to your children. Genuinely. If you were wrong, say sorry and mean it.

UnspeakablePlants , Jordan Whitt Report

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Christopher Brenna
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm amazed how many adults can't bring themselves even to admit that they were wrong to a child, much less apologize for what they did.

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#3

Person reads cookbook recipe When you're cooking the recipe is only a reference. When you're baking the recipe is the work of the law.

Correct-Serve5355 , https://unsplash.com/photos/5QgIuuBxKwM Report

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Meanwhile, fitness expert Jack told Bored Panda that the very best advice that he can give people is to start controlling their inputs in life. You are what you consume, not just what you eat. "Be mindful of what you put into your mind. Music, TV shows, social media, politics, etc. Think about if they are creating negative or positive thoughts and beliefs, he told Bored Panda.

"Inputs lead to beliefs and beliefs lead to your actions."

According to Jack, he's been "hardwired for optimism" since birth, so he has a better time facing challenges. "Whenever I face hardships, I always try to view it as a blessing. It will force me to grow in some capacity and get better."

As for advice that he'd give his younger self, Jack believes that authenticity and being your true self are the most important things. "Stop caring so much what others think. Be 100% authentic to you and chase what you want."

#4

Man gesturing with his hands Never take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from.

Ikhsan Sugiarto , Headway Report

#5

Girl holding paper with drawing When a kid shows you a drawing, instead of saying “what is it?” Or guessing, which could upset them, ask them

“Can you tell me about it?”

The kid will be excited to tell you all about it and they don’t get upset that their nonsensical squiggles weren’t immediately recognized.

ginntress , Jerry Wang Report

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#6

Two womens hugging each other Check-in on people who always seem strong. Sometimes they’re not doing well but think they can’t say anything because they’re the “strong one.”

Simple_Somewhere_564 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Advice comes in all shapes and sizes. And two areas that we definitely need to work on to create a solid foundation for our future include our finances, as well as our relationships.

Some time ago, financial expert Sam Dogen, the founder of the popular Financial Samurai blog, shared how we should approach work when we’re young. “In your 20s and 30s you need to work BOTH smarter AND harder, especially if you are of average intelligence. The world is a brutally competitive place with some of the smartest people also working the hardest. So working long hours while you’re still young and learning is a matter of practicality,” he shared with Bored Panda. However, just hard work by itself isn’t enough.

“You can’t expect to go straight to the corner office without putting in your dues. At the same time, you can’t expect to outperform your peers simply through hard work, You have to be strategic by building a strong network of relationships internally and externally (clients) who will pull to get you promoted and help you get paid at your next job.”

#7

A doctor wearing stethoscope and medical coat Never lie to your doctor.

ChickFromTheSticks , Usman Yousaf Report

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Brunettechameleon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is super important. I understand that people are scared of being judged, but lying could lead to big problems. And chances are, the doctors probably aren’t going to judge you since they see odd things all the time.

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#8

two babies and woman sitting on sofa while watching tablet TURN ON SUBTITLES FOR YOUR KIDS!!! Studies have shown it’s proven to help with reading.

rainbowsunshines , Alexander Dummer Report

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#9

A boy in gray hoodie standing near yellow leaf trees and smiling Never answer a kid's joke. Always let them tell you the punchline even if you already know it.

kmfp5150 , Viet Hoang Report

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Christopher Brenna
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You wouldn't answer an adult's joke even if you knew the punchline, or at least most people wouldn't. There's a broader issue of paying kids the same respect that we pay adults.

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However, we shouldn’t work ourselves to the bone. It’s important to recognize when we’re burning out and take the necessary steps to recharge. “Take sick days and mentally recharge. Don’t just think being ill is just a physical thing. There are plenty of mental illnesses. They are just not as visible. There is no better time than right now to take sick days due to the pandemic and the greater awareness of mental health issues. There is simply no shame in healing the mind!” Sam said.

He added that some people boast about how much they work because they feel like nobody’s noticing their efforts. “The irony is, if you have great results, there’s no need to tell anybody how hard you work,” he noted.

#10

Photo of car lamp Use turn signals when driving.

StarKiller5A , Krzysztof Hepner Report

#11

Person pouring sauce on bowl Never insult someone who is going to prepare your food or has access to your data.

EEpromChip , Louis Hansel Report

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#12

Photo of three women lifting there hands The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

Channiex , Simon Maage Report

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Alexia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, the time you spend sleeping is not wasted time. Your body needs it to rest, your brain needs it to process and sort out information and experiences.

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Meanwhile, relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man project, said that honesty is vital to the long-term success of any serious relationship. It’s important to have honest conversations about practical issues like divvying up the housework in order to prevent resentment building up and to avoid unnecessary arguments.

“Housework used to be seen as women’s work only, due to a man traditionally being the breadwinner and the woman staying at home all day. Yet, in today’s society, if both the man and woman are working, it’s more fair, loving, and respectful for both of them to contribute to keeping the house clean. On the other hand, if a man is the sole breadwinner and the woman stays home all day, many people would agree that she should do most or even all of the housework. That said, no one actually ‘has to’ do anything in a relationship,” the expert told Bored Panda.

#13

Person typing using laptop Get everything in writing, even if you think you don’t need it. An email, a text message, something in case things don’t go as planned. Has saved me countless times and burned me by not having it.

iwearshmedium , Kaitlyn Baker Report

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#14

Don't smoke. Don't even start.

jingling_bell Report

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Gin. No tonic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never even tried a cigarette. My friends in high school offered me one quite a few times, but I always said I don't want to. Because "No, Thank you" is a valid answer. I said, I'm not judging you for smoking, but I don't have to smoke to be friends with you. Good friends understand this.

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#15

A boy in front of computer monitor Befriend the IT team at work.

adeltron30303 , Arif Riyanto Report

“A woman shouldn’t ever force a man to do housework and a man shouldn’t force a woman to do it either. Instead, the couple should honestly agree on what they feel is fair and then go with that. If it feels unfair to one of them, resentment will build up, arguments will happen and they will feel less connected and happy as a couple,” Dan said.

According to him, if we feel that we’re left doing all the chores at home, we should ask our partners why they think we should be doing all of the housework by ourselves. “Then, ask if they honestly think that is a fair, loving, and respectful way for them to be approaching the relationship.”

#16

If you see a bathroom in your dream, don’t use it.

False_Factor4378 Report

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Biba Little
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha, I actually used it but I just couldn't go, even in dream, my body knows something is odd.

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#17

The best advice I ever got was from a Veterinarian when I brought him a newly adopted old dog with many health issues: "I will help you prolong his life, I will NOT help you prolong his death." Words to live by when you have pets and have to face "the decision".

Cosette2016 Report

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Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish more people would see it this way. It breaks my heart to see pets suffer because their human can't let them go. It's not fair, they don't even understand. I realised this when my senior dog had cancer and I made the decision to let her go, and my older colleague (who herself had a long and hard battle with cancer) said to me "Thank you for not letting her suffer, this is what she would have wanted."

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#18

Photo of fingers crossed From domestic abusers to supposed experts to politicians. If someone tells you not to seek out another's opinion, they're lying to you.

ALiteralSentientTank , Toa Heftiba Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Within reason, yes. That being said, people who love you may be trying to pull you out of MLM schemes, cults, or cesspools of fake news. In those situations, they really are trying to help you cut ties, and it's reasonable for them to discourage you from letting MLMers/cultists/fake news weigh in on your leaving. That being said, they should 100% be in favor of you talking with neutral third parties, like other friends, a therapist, librarians, your doctor, even random strangers.

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#19

Man and woman holding each others hands If you love someone, tell them. Friends, family, coworker. It doesn’t matter. This may be the last time you talk to them.

JewVader1 , Nathan Dumlao Report

#20

If your friend is starting a new business, don’t expect a discount. Instead, support them with sales as much as possible.

icouldlivewoutbacon Report

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Lilla Ontherun
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never expect discount from a friend for something, I only ask them to do it well.

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#21

Person holding a banana If a kid ever hands you a banana, you answer it like a telephone.

NightAndShinyArmor , michael kooiman Report

#22

Three businesswomen sitting beside table When you are on a job interview, don't forget that you are also evaluating whether that job is a fit for you. Ask about benefits, work culture, what the interviewer personally finds valuable about working there. 1. This makes it appear that you have self-worth and eases your nervousness. 2. The answers they give can tell you a lot about whether you actually want to work there.

hypercoolseries , Tim Gouw Report

#23

It’s okay to like things that are considered “cringey” or unpopular. You decide what you like, not everyone else.

HollowEmptyEyes Report

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cb !!!
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah! it took a while for me to admit i liked a lot of things, especially irl, because i was afraid that people would quit being friends with me. turns out, a lot of people share my weird interests!

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#24

Two brown wooden toothbrushes Brush your teeth no matter what just brush em before you lose em

Soft_Emergency9036 , Superkitina Report

#25

Man pouring water in glass Whenever you’re stuck in a situation where someone starts to cry, offer to get them water. It gives them the space to express their emotions privately for a bit and feel cared for as you are trying to help by getting water. Also helps if people crying makes you uncomfortable.

Lilpoopiesquat , Ikhsan Sugiarto Report

#26

Woman with crossed hands Forgive your younger self.

Most importantly, start small. Pick one moment of the past - start small- and view it through your current self. Oftentimes, our mistakes make a lot of sense considering our age/situation. View your past self as if it was your friend or child and comfort accordingly.

TLDR It’s forgiving/understanding your past self by understanding WHY you made that mistake.

kennedymayfans , Giulia Bertelli Report

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Ian Reynolds
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just don't dwell on the past, regret nothing, it can't be changed and live for the now.

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#27

Person using smartphone When in doubt if you get a weird email, text, letter; never click any links in the text or email. Always go to the bank to verify if it is real.

kat92876 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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What ninjas can't
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its been two years and I still wait for the person who sent me an email saying that they will send proof of weird porn I had been watching to everyone I know if I didnt transfer money within the next 48 hours after opening the mail. I dont even watch porn so I was really excited to see what they had found.

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#29

Messy room Waste is generated at the time of purchase, not disposal. Holding onto junk just because you paid money for it isn’t being thrifty, it’s hoarding. Your mental health and your wallet will both be better off if you get rid of it to make space for the things you actually need.

Fakjbf , Dennis Sylvester Hurd Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Swap events are great because they allow you to directly exchange something that is worthless to you for something valuable while the people you're swapping with are getting just as good a deal.

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#30

Person pouring water in glass Make sure you drink enough water. Every cell in your body needs it

Runner_Grl , Brendan Church Report

#31

Man in gray shirt using smartphone Never send an angry email or text immediately. Wait at least an hour and read it out loud or to a friend.

FlourFlavored , Jeferson Santu Report

#32

Keep learning new things

Narrow-Macaroon-7004 Report

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Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And what you learn doesn't necessarily have to be useful. It's okay to learn how a nuclear reactor works just because it's interesting. It's okay to spend close to 2 hours listening to a documentary on bloody queuing if that keeps you entertained. Not everything you learn has to be a skill, just a new fact here or there will keep your brain healthy.

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#33

man covering face with both hands while sitting on sofa From argumentative a**holes at the grocery store to bullies in public school, this is my best advice:

If someone tries to give you a hard time verbally and wants to start crap with you, insult you, or just get you going in some way, always remember:

You allow conversations to happen. You can control the length by simply not engaging. Remember: anyone who tries harder to get you to respond is losing and getting desperate.

Source: former Correctional Officer. People talking s**t to you from behind bars doesn't matter when you never acknowledge it. Eventually, you stop caring when you hear instigation and you hear it for what it is: a power play. The only winning option is not to play.

LoneQuietus81 , Christian Erfurt Report

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Trillian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am not sure I like this. First: It places the responsibility on the victim. Never a good idea. Second: I think you totally underestimate the persistence of especially kids. When bullies want to get a reaction out of you, they will. No one has that kind of self control. They just wear you down. You can walk away from a stranger in street most times, but bullies will literally follow you around. Advice like that just makes it seem too easy and as if victims are just not trying hard enough.

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Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. What if the bullies are spiting on you, stealing your things or pushing you? You cant ignore that. Or if they are adults and lying about you to coworkers and bosses. Not engaging is not always the solution

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Alexia
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Former victim of bullying & mobbing here: sorry, but I disagree. I can decide not to involve in an argument with a**holes at the grocery, since I don't know them and hopefully we'll never meet again. But bullying at school/ mobbing at work is totally different. Ignoring means encouraging them to continue - and it will get worse and worse for the victim. Nobody can ignore b**s**t forever. It will take a toll on your self-esteem, on your relationships, and eventually on your performance at school/ at work. Instead of ignoring them, CONFRONT them. Call them out. Ask them to repeat and explain their insults as if you didn't understand them (this makes them uncomfortable). Escalate them to teachers/ principals/ managers, in writing if possible. Most of the bullies/ mobbers are cowards and will back out when the victim fights back. You deserve to be treated with respect, just like any other person - so stand up for yourself.

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Alicia GriffonLady
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree! People not doing a damn thing is why some of us bullied folk blow up and mass shootings happen! The helplessness and the lack of any one giving a crap. I used to daydream horrible things involving the school bullies. Luckily i didn't have access to weapons and i had a lot of arts, crafts, pets, books, etc... to keep me from being compleatly alone and miserable. Purring cats are the best antidepressant, i swear! And zoomie cats! And face bumping cats! And tail-around your shin cats! If it weren't for cats and good heroic tales in novels, i'd probably have been in prison. O.O

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GirlFriday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The adage is this: You do not have to participate in every fight you are invited to.

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Alicia GriffonLady
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder what would have happened if people fought the Nazis when they were still just small groups of assholes?

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Fiona Parky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to work in a call centre that handled calls from people who had had services cut off because of non payment. I call it the aggression spiral. Someone raises their voice, you speak louder, they shout, you shout, they start using profanity etc ….. The best thing was just to stop. They raise their voice, stop! Don’t talk, just wait in silence. It’s about allowing time for thought instead of reaction. It’s also about control of the conversation. You can scream and shout but if there’s no response, there’s no control. Then you can bring the conversation back to helping instead of blaming.

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Alicia GriffonLady
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, from the customer side, if you treat the call center person with respect, maybe even joke a bit and try to brighten their day (i mean after all, they are just someone who applied for a job so they could pay their bills. They have no control over the company), they are much more likely to do everything they can to help you. Not to mention they get to keep a calm and good natured person on the line for a bit which is a bit they don't have to worry about getting yelled at! (Some of them are just ... phoneing it in... barump bum! So it won't always work if they are really appathetic)

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Anonymousplease
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think a better way than to ignore the person is to be genuinely nice to them. It will throw the bully off their course, and if they are a bully because they are sad, it might cheer them up. I know this isn't the best for every situation, but it can work. If they say ur ugly, respond with saying I know I'm not perfect but I appreciate myself, then say by the way, insert compliment.

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Vita Rosamarijn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone is trying to insult you or giving you a hard time, ask if they are okay. Bullies mostly act like that because it makes them feel less insecure/bad about themselves. They can respond rude to you, but feel exposed. So they'll take off. Sometimes someone showing interest is all anyone needs, even if they don't act on it.

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Christoph
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The ONLY thing you can control in this world is your response to it. And even then - you still might lose that.

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Laura Capshaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OK. I'll take this to heart. i have a tendency to engage, which is foolish.

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pusheen buttercup
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mostly good advice but when you can't get away - like if it's in customer service or if it's your boss - a little less applicable?

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Jess Thompson
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This works in mild cases when you are in a position of power, mostly. “You allow conversations to happen” 😬 😬, sounds a lot like other victim-blaming phrases. Ever encountered someone who won’t let you leave a conversation, officer? Using fear, force or backup? I don’t want to be rude, dude, “talking s**t to you behind bars doesn’t matter”… most of us didn’t have that privilege, in the real world people aren’t behind bars lmao actually, a lot of cases are in the home. When you’re 12 you can’t ignore big scary daddy 🤷🏽‍♀️

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jupe77
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol. I had a supervisor like that. He enjoyed insulting and picking at people. One day he started in on me as usual. I just looked at him and continued with what I was doing. It got to the point where he was screaming, veins sticking out on his forehead, and told me to go home. He was screaming so loud, HIS boss heard him from another part of the building and came running.🤣😲

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oddkiddo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Piece of specific advice: Do not take advice from a correctional officer. The advice above only works if you yourself are in a position of power. Like a correctional officer who actually has means to physically threaten or sanction them. Totally ignoring someone will easily come of as arrogant and dehumanizing and will only anger them more. Or they are likely to deem you utterly defenceless prey.

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NOLAHusker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have designed systems for long-term correctional facilities and I had one prisoner who was hounding me from the supermax yard about my weight. I let it go for about 30 minutes as I did the work I needed to do to survey the system, but eventually responded by telling him I'd be going home to my wife and to enjoy his shower time later. The other dudes on the yard howled at him for that. That was almost 20 years ago now. Same visit, I had a guy who had been in since 1978 for murder ask me about my camera as he had never seen a handheld digital camera before. He was astounded that you could see the photos as soon as you took them. Might have been 2003 or 2004. Prison is a different world.

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Anne Mitchell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never write words that require asterisks as substitutes for letters.

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j miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there was an old movie about computer games that had the same message!

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Tina Harnish
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was in elementary school, the 'girls' decided to make fun of me by asking which guy I liked. I named a bunch and they were so stupid they thought I meant it. The only male in the class that I liked I told him I hadn't named him because I wasn't going to put him down. They did. Because he lived on a farm.

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IlovemydogShilo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should be way higher. I'll remember this over Christmas when my sister's Tin hat wearing conspiracy loving anti vaxer boyfriend starts spewing his tirade of bull poo at me as he always does. I'll just ignore him and get up and walk away. Even he can't argue with an empty room.

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DannyGirl
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Be assertive with kindness and confidence and be repetitive .. I don’t understand why you think you can call me ( bad name or whatever), I feel (angry, sad, frustrated whatever) when you do, I need you to stop, Over and over and over and over and over and over snd over You just can’t fight with someone who repeats that

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Kayhana Menard
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From a person who has delt with extreme toxic home enviroments. ie. People you live with. Physically you are all right. There is no getting away from someone physically. 1.understand your bully/harasser with out making excuses - negative parrisitic behavior is almost always nuture instead of nature. This technique can also give you the upperhand during a cornered situation. 2. Do not pursue - do not engage with any physical or verbal confrontation after or during being targeted. These people feed off your reaction. And many times are highly ranked and respected in their social environment. The moment you strike back could lead to twice if not three times the consequences more than your attacker. 3. Play devils advocate/Agree to disagree - do not award behavior. This is vital. This is signing a contract of branding of ownership from your attacker on to yourself and anyone else you represent. 4. ALWAYS remain classy. Show respect without encouragement 100 percent 24/7...

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Kayhana Menard
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remember someone is always watching and one day when they miss step you will not fall off that cliff with them. 5. Keep a record - dont let go unheard.

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Keating_5
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ll agree with others that this isn’t always good advice because you’re not always in a position to ignore (I.e. person in authority is bully) and constant bullying really can wear you down and some thing truly should be off limits. I think de-escalation tactics work better: when someone is trying to invoke a reaction, keeping yourself calm as possible in one way (tone of voice, physical reaction), then another (breathe through it, keeping body calm, not shaking), and respond when you feel you are calm enough to. Source: I work as a magistrate, a very high stress job where people often come in keyed up because the criminal process and not understanding what’s going on. I make it a point to explain what I’m doing, why, and the next steps if I can’t help, and I’m known for 99% of people leaving my office calmer and more understanding because of it.

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Keating_5
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ll add that once the confrontation goes away or goes down to manageable stress levels, especially if you are in danger or this is bullying that cannot stand (position of authority, grossly inappropriate, etc.), MAKE A RECORD OF IT. Even if you don’t plan to report it, they might, and having receipts of such events is hugely helpful if s**t hits the fan or just so you’ll know what happened and why to think about how to respond next time. Has saved me several times now so it’s too good not to pass on to others!

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Michele Bonner
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are times when you can't ignore it, for example, if you are in a position of authority and someone is trying to undermine you by bullying or insulting you. You don't have to sink to their level, but you do have to address their behavior and stop it from continuing. In that case, if you don't engage, you lose.

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kjorn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it's like debating online. usually when people start debating about something i already said i just move away. i'm not wasting my time.

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King Joffrey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not sure if I fully agree with that. I would say 'ignore' if you feel you're in danger but confront people like the proverbial Karen - they can't hurt you and will think they've won the argument if you let go.

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Becky Samuel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who cares if they think they've 'won'? Once you realise that it really doesn't matter then you can be free from all that nonsense.

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#34

Don’t feel upset if you can’t find a nice woman/man to date/spend time with. Rather be the loneliest man alive than being attached to the wrong one. It only takes one wrong one to never make this mistake again. Take your time, you are beautiful and there is no rush.

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#35

Take care of your Mental health. It should be a priority. Once you lose your health, life sucks.

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ditto physical health. You've only got one meat suit to occupy in this life. Do your best to take care of it.

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#36

Work will never love you back.

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who’s just gone into remission after getting a chronic illness by overworking, I’ve always found this a bit condescending. My employer does things like profit sharing in addition to full overtime pay; the issue is that he works a lot himself and so when I went to unhealthy levels, it flew under the radar. And the reason why I overworked was because I finally had the opportunity to work in a job that didn’t make me feel like s**t all time, plus I have a general background of struggling to say no. Doesn’t mean it was healthy, but I hate it when people forget that people who get into these kinds of situations are human beings.

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#37

Learn how to say no, and learn how to have tact and grace towards others.

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Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remember that "No." is a complete sentence. You do not have to justify that answer. "I have other plans, but thank you for thinking of me" is just as good. The fact that my plans are to stay in my jammies and binge watch Downton Abbey are completely irrelevant.

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#38

Always budget for less money than you have, that way if you make mistakes it’ll be ok. Leave room for error

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Jeff Striks
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round up when budgeting how much you owe, round down when looking at what you have. Save ~6 months of expenses in a liquid (readily available) savings account. Invest anything else that's not daily spending money. Invest for retirement first, followed by personal insurance, like personal disability plans. After that look to 5-15 year investments. And start young!

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#39

Woman stretching her wrist If you're an artist or in a job where you type a lot, take breaks and do wrist stretches! Carpel Tunnel sucks.

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Thorfin Wolfsbane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

also, Google: "Breugger's Postural Break". Upper and Lower Cross Syndromes might be minor but can lead to more serious issues later on.

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#40

Man walking beside mirror Don’t expect ‘you’ from other people.

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May
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And don't expect other people to understand the things you think are 'obvious'

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