Sadness mixed with humor in a perplexing, chaotic, and confusing way—that’s what the r/FunnyandSad online group over on Reddit is all about. An old-hand on the net, having been founded in November 2013, it has since then grown into a community of nearly 700k members.
The subreddit does exactly what it says on the tin and documents posts from all over the net that are funny and sad at the same time. It’s a melange of laughing through tears (or is that crying while you laugh?) that will show you that life is far more varied and nuanced than the black-and-white we’re used to seeing on the news and on social media.
Sadness is a very natural part of life and we ought to embrace it, instead of running away from it. After all, we can’t be happy-go-lucky all the time (I would know, I tried). And while being sad can even have certain benefits, like improving our memory and judgment, getting stuck in negative thinking patterns and endless loops of sadness isn’t healthy for our mental wellbeing.
I had a quick chat with an expert in the field of psychology about how to identify what these negative thinking patterns look like and how focusing just on our failures, having black or white thinking, and holding ourselves accountable for everything that goes wrong all harm our mental health.
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Aw Man
It Was Worth A Shot
I Loved Him In Deadpool
Emma Morton, a researcher at the University of British Columbia, told Bored Panda that, for example, what we tend to focus on more, our successes or our failures, can influence our long-term mental health. For instance, hyper-concentrating on all the things that go wrong or could potentially go wrong can trap us in a perpetual loop of self-criticism and anxiety.
This, in turn, can lead to feelings of very low self-esteem and even depression which, in turn, can make us unwilling to ask for help and support even though we might desperately need both. However, there are other ways how we can end up trapped in negative thinking patterns, too.
I'm Fine.. Really
Found On Facebook
10 Year Challenge
“Negative thinking patterns can include only paying attention to failures and ignoring successes, black or white thinking (e.g., ‘If I get anything less than an A+ on this test, I’m a failure’), labeling oneself based on mistakes (e.g., ‘I’m a loser, an idiot’), [and] mind-reading (e.g., ‘Everyone will think I’m a loser for not getting this promotion’),” Emma went into detail with Bored Panda how we can end up being overly harsh with ourselves.
He’s Not Wrong...
Budgeting
My husband and I were curious a few days ago about how much rent we have paid to our current landlord. It's over 160k. The house we just found and got denied for is only 149k, lol
Despicable isn’t it? If I were you I would buy an apartment. That’s the best choice if the bank denies your house loan. Anything is better than throwing money in the garbage because that’s what paying rent actually is. At least If you buy an apartment, you would still get your money back if you sell it.
Load More Replies...To be fair, the mortage alone does not pay for the home, but there are additional costs. If you loose your job, you could move if you live in a flat; if you need to pay for the mortage, you have a problem. Thus, the problem here is not the bank, it is an inflated house market!
Why do they do this? Did you explain about rent your are paying which I presume is without difficulty? You could always try different places for a mortgage
Taxes, insurance, upkeep like roof, appliances, etc... You're mortgage is just the beginning of owning a house.
Not to mention the taxes! My school & property taxes are over $6k a year.
Load More Replies...I think that if you can prove that you have been paying 1k a month consistently for 5 years a bank should be able to take that as proof that you can pay 1k a month for a mortgage. The fact that someone earns 50k a year does not mean that they will responsibly pay their mortgage. But having a consistent payment history shows responsibility towards paying.
Only thing about mortgages they are more than the loan- its property taxes, insurance, & sometimes HOA & PMI insurance. Plus repairs that can be costly- roofs, plumbing etc. PMI is the biggest scam- my apartment was valued at over 100k but I only paid 50k as I bought from family member. I took mortgage out for 47k so since I didn’t put down 20% I still had to pay the PMI insurance even though the value of the property was WAY more than the mortgage loan. PMI is protect the bank from loosing money so if the home is worth more than mortgage they win if you default plus they get all the money you have already paid. It’s f****d up as it only gives the bank security even though you pay for it.
Tell me about it. One of the biggest issues is saving for the deposit to get your foot in the door.
We all need to, fight for change, years ago there was a cap, on rent, the landlords have become greedy, including ,landlords of office spaces, mini malls etcetera !!!
Oh, so it makes no sense, but the bank, has their guide lines, however, they need to be updated, as it is, today is ludicrous, check with your local politician, changes are needed !!!
Yes, like I asked for a lower rate on my car loan, I was asked if I could afford to pay less...
So true! Like car loan (and more) interest rates are way higher if you have poor credit or not a huge income, so you’re payments are way higher. People with good or excellent credit get low interest plans and much lower payments. 🤦♀️
Well let me know when you come up with that 20% cash down payment on the mortgage. smdh
The mortgage companies are still overcompensating for the lack of standards in early 2000's that contributed to the recession. They got greedy and lent to people with no documentation of income etc. Then they sold the loans to other banks which turned them into other types of investments and made out like bandits until it all collapsed. They just don't want to give the government any reason to reasonably regulate them, so they are being overly strict now. As usual, the average person pays for the wealthy's greed.
Even buying a studio or 1 bedroom apartment in an outer less desirable suburb is better than paying rent, it is the only type of savings account that will keep up with inflation and will set you up for the deposit on a real home within a couple of years when you sell it. I see too many peoplevwho want everything right now and cant pace themselves. I am 54 and have paid a mortgage since 25 on 3 different properties on after another, alone on a very basic income. Each one was a step up from the previous. I'm selling again and getting my retirement home next, which will be nice and paid off when I retire with about 30% of my superannuation. Finally moving to the beach. Patience and common sense will get you far.
Also ... wtf is even up with mortgages ?! You end up paying the bank triple the cost of the house due to interest
That is more than the mortgage payment on the first three houses I owned ! Military, not a rich person with multiple houses lol
I pay $3,350 per month rent and rates but they say I can't afford a mortgage.
My wife owns the house we live in, because the bank says I have made bad life choices with my finances (paying for our wedding) and lack responsibility (paying for two master’s degrees and a PhD without loans because I was too young to have credit and couldn’t bring myself to be on the hook for so much interest). Before buying the house, my wife had never left home, and has been shocked to learn just how much routine maintenance and work goes into living away from home. She’s a quick study, but I still have so much to teach her as we are about to start renovations. Our saving grace is that my dad taught me a lot before passing, so we are going to get through for the cost of materials. She came from a home that hired everything out down to biweekly cleaning, and didn’t even know how to paint. Now she’s better than me! I am so proud!
True, but with home ownership comes property taxes, insurance, maintenance, plus that ridiculously high down payment just to get the mortgage.
After I bought my house, I started telling everybody - once you get over the down payment hump, it's much cheaper to buy. If I lived in a tent in the National Forest, I could rent this house and make $300/mo.
This is a rough pill to swallow but a $950 mortgage is actually closer to $ 1200 after taxes and insurance assuming you put enough down not to have the added insurance. This does not include HOA fees or costs for repairs that you are responsible for now that you are a homeowner. If you live in a condo there are les cost but HOA can run high for some places. Then lawn care is an issue and so many other fees that when you rent are not your concern. Home ownership is way beyond the mortgage price. That is usually what the bank figures you can’t afford. There is nothing wrong with renting and the price of 149 k is not what you pay after interest payments. How many times have you had maintenance out? There are a lot of factors don’t be discouraged but save as much as you can and put a chunk down and have a chunk for emergencies because they happen and they are expensive
There's some "economics advice" editorial in some financial magazine/website that suggests people should rent instead of own. Like, hey, the computer industry is onto something with that whole subscription model because it REALLY screws people better than merely charging for a product.
Some things get included in rent that a homeowner would have to pay for extra, plus if anything major breaks like the boiler, the landlord pays for it, not you. Having said that, I agree that rent money is wasted money and banks should help people out more when they've proven they can afford rent higher than their mortgage and bills would be instead of assuming we all need huge amounts of expendable income
I don't understand how rent is not considered for your credit score or getting a home loan. Yeah, my husband lost his job when the car dealerships closed we paid rent, utilities and our car payment before the credit cards. Then a couple years later even though we paid off the cards they still say we don't have a high enough score. It's not the down payment or our income. Renting the same large apartment for +20 years means nothing.
Renters are at the bottom of the rights pole, no tax deduction, no increase in net worth, etc
Why would renters get a tax deduction? They don't pay school & property taxes? What tax deduction would they get?
Load More Replies...Unfortunately you can't compare like for like. If you default on rent you get evicted. If you default on a mortgage the bank loses the rest of the money that you can't pay. And as most mortgages are for 25 years, you have to prove that you're good for that level of payment each month for 25 years. Most rents are on short term contracts.
Banks don't lose, they repossess the house and sell it again
Load More Replies...Unfortunately, this is all about credit score. You may be able to pay more, but your credit history says otherwise.
In Dystopia We Were Told To Trust
She continued, adding that another negative pattern includes “holding yourself personally accountable for things that go wrong and attributing successes to luck or the contributions of others (e.g., ‘I only got that award because nobody else applied’).”
Blind Bruh Moment
Mind Blowing How Accurate This Is!!!
He's Right
As such, having unrealistic expectations of what we’re capable of and being unreasonably demanding of ourselves can lead to “feelings of depression and worthlessness” that in turn “make it harder to reach out for help.” So while it’s perfectly fine to feel sadness, we all need to know when to ask for a helping hand if we find ourselves constantly stuck with only negative thoughts.
Mysterious Ways
Technically he only had eleven true friends. The other one was a toxic backstabber who literally sold him out.
I Feel We Are There Already
Well, It's True Isn't?
Hearing Impaired
You’re Not From Around Here Are You
Oof
"Cries In Millenial"
We’re Screwed
We All Panic Sometimes
Group Projects Are The Worst
Sad Truth
they are literally permanently embedded into your head, theres no getting rid of them
Uplifting Quote
Useless Job
So Close Yet So Far
That's Where It Began
London
Please
Totally. I am now halfway through my second health degree and my father still tells me what medical advice he got from the TV, and when I say, "No that is not correct info" he gets irritated, "I watched the thing on TV!!" Yes coz 6-8 years education on the subject has taught me absolutely nothing....What can you do...still love him...
Is Being Short Really That Bad
Sad Truth
And Don’t Forget Student Loans
It's also because in the US you have to pay thousands of dollars in medical bills for prenatal care and labour and delivery, even if nothing goes wrong. You also get 2 weeks maternity leave, if you're lucky. A lot of people literally cannot afford to *have* a baby, let alone raise a child.
Motivation Is The Leading Cause Of Death On The China/Nepal Border
Life Can Be So Rewarding
So bloody true. The last couple of years has been one hit after the other and we aren't classed as poor. Struggling yes, poor no.
I Don't Know If I Would Trust Him With My Pets
"Millenials Are All Lazy And Entitled!"
Student Loans Put You Through College But Put You Through Debt For Much Longer!!
It Was So Beautiful
Welcome To The Show
I am a millennial (vowels are too expensive to rent) ' 'm ' m'll'n''l? (Ma'am you can't afford those apostrophes) mmllnl :(
Cause Your In New York
Spent $11.75 Growing Tomatoes This Year. Here's My Whole Harvest!
My single beet was a little bigger, but I planted Aton of veggies - got sick and all it takes is one day of neglect for everything to die in AZ summer temps (I’m new at this). I’m surprised your little tomato turned red so soon! Don’t they stay green in early growth? But what do I know - I get oddball things in my “garden” regularly. Going to try a fall planting this year. Your tomato is adorable. Keep trying!
I Wish
I Know It Hurts Sometimes But You'll Get Over It
Hitting A Little Too Close To Home
Economic Generation Gap
Doesn't Look Like An Improvement To Me
I'm Not Surprised At The Stupidity
Two Problems In Life
Fun Fact
R.i.p
Keeping It Cool...
Poor Bastard
Rip Gam Gam
Pretty Much
Teachers In The 90s
At the risk of repeating myself from the last time this appeared on a BP post - the teachers weren't *lying*. Teachers in the 90s didnt have crystal balls to predict the future. A Nokia 3200 cost over £750 in 1993, which didnt exactly suggest they would be affordable to everyone (and this was a brick phone that didnt even have a calculator function). Knock it off with saying 90s teachers should've foreseen the iPhone.
Target Only
Uno
This is the most diverse post I have ever seen- stupid stuff, dark jokes, sad stuff and everything, very confusing indeed
facts for some ppl, maybe confusing for others, depends on which country u come from
I think they mean it's confusing because you don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Load More Replies...Clearly BP is not for you. Maybe go watch Tucker Carlson rant about "the left", or Ben Shapiro ask why crime hasn't been banned.
Load More Replies...This is the most diverse post I have ever seen- stupid stuff, dark jokes, sad stuff and everything, very confusing indeed
facts for some ppl, maybe confusing for others, depends on which country u come from
I think they mean it's confusing because you don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Load More Replies...Clearly BP is not for you. Maybe go watch Tucker Carlson rant about "the left", or Ben Shapiro ask why crime hasn't been banned.
Load More Replies...