Marriage, like most relationships, is all about communication, building trust, being vulnerable, and fighting off hordes of orcs back-to-back on a mountaintop. Or is that just us? But like childcare, politics, and the weather, everybody seems to have an opinion about marriage. What works. What doesn’t. What you should strive to do.

Unfortunately, a lot of that advice is absolutely bogus, as sociologist Samuel Perry from the University of Oklahoma drew attention to on Twitter. The scholar asked social media users to share the very worst marriage advice they’ve ever gotten and kicked things off with an example of his own about how couples should supposedly not go to bed angry.

Check out some of the best tweets below, upvote the ‘advice’ that you think is absolutely ridiculous, and share your own pearls of wisdom about marriage in the comment section below. And remember—happy panda, happy life!

Image credits: socofthesacred

#1

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

aprilskinnerNNP Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

Really wtf?

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#2

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

thisniss Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

These terrible advices make people stay in abusive relationships and that's sad

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#3

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

ArielOfAutumn Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

Good sleep is really important!being tired means possible fighting so as long as it works for you don't hear anyone

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I previously had a chat about keeping the bonds of marriage strong with Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and her husband James Pawelski, the authors of 'Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts.' 

"While it’s critical we all social distance, we must make sure not to emotionally distance with our friends and family. Positive psychology research indicates that one of the most important factors in human flourishing is building close relationships with others,” Suzie and James told Bored Panda.

#4

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

RevilFox Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

As a kid with divorced parents i have to say this is the most horrible advice!! Kids always know and understand EVERYTHING!

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#5

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

JayelleMo Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

In my country there is a saying that says "man is the head and woman is the neck that turns the head wherever she wants" I don't know if it exists in other languages...

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#6

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

AmberTolbert58 Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm pretty sure there are schools somewhere teaching that, cause i know too many men that do that!

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“A wedding is a magical day no doubt, and of course something to celebrate, but what about planning for all the days to come in our marriage which is intended to last a lifetime? Many newlyweds seem to think that ‘happily ever after’ just happens. However, research shows it’s healthy habits that build long-term love," the couple explained that we have to work at relationships; they’re not something that automatically turns out great.

#7

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

4thhowardson Report

Bobby
Community Member
1 month ago

I prefer happy spouse happy house

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#8

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JennMGreenberg Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

Exactly! And there is no "helping" the wife with the housework! You don't "help", you share chores that you are both supposed to do!

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#9

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abogguslife Report

Beck(formerly Becca/Gizmo sq)
Community Member
1 month ago

So THIS is how marriage works. No wonder I am getting a divorce.

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"It’s interesting that it’s the only domain in our lives where we think that success will just happen without much effort of our own. For example, when it comes to our physical health, it would be foolish to think that merely buying a gym membership and working out once would strengthen our muscles and build flexibility (if only that were the case!).”

#10

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

kbakaev Report

Giulia
Community Member
1 month ago

this breaks my heart on so many levels..

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#11

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R2Dash2 Report

Don't Look
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm so tired of the holy matrimony and sacred crap with marriage. Marriage is a legal issue. You want to involve the church? Good on you! My experience has been that the church has no place in marriage.

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#12

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LacyPellegrini Report

Two Silly Pups
Community Member
1 month ago

HAHAHA! I would like to see the reasoning for this corellation

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The couple said: “We all know that in order to increase our strength and tone our bodies we have to work at it regularly. So, too, when it comes to our relational health. However, popular culture seems to romanticize marriage making people think that once you get married you can merely ride off into the sunset together. That’s obviously not the case. It takes work.”

#13

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

ExploringRealms Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

In some cases i think it's true not always of course! Edit: I'm referring to misogynist cultures that don't respect human rights of course! i just didn't want to be more specific cause i didn't want anyone to be offended! But these cultures in a marriage are always a deal breaker!

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#14

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DrKashik Report

Allan Breum
Community Member
1 month ago

Unfortunately, MANY adults act like Petulant Toddlers...

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#15

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Youthguy07 Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

The correct is you shouldn't need anyone period. Once you are good with yourself then you can have a healthier relationship with someone else!

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The couple sees marriage as an adventure. A challenging one but an adventure nonetheless. "Being open, curious, and having a growth mindset about ourselves, and our partners will help us be able to better navigate together in marriage. Marriage isn’t an end state but rather a beginning. It’s a process and a life-long journey. The more we seek to understand ourselves and our partners, the better equipped we will be to travel together on this beautiful, yet often challenging adventure."

#16

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

JenDavi64358092 Report

Judy Steelman
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh my God. A man from church. Holy coward.

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#17

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Jwinne123 Report

King Joffrey
Community Member
1 month ago

I think this is good advice.

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#18

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RetroDadnKids Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

There are no rules at that! Whatever works better for each couple!

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There are various exercises that help strengthen relationships. Suzie and James shared a few of them with Bored Panda.

"They can focus on what they put into the relationship rather than what they get out of it. Truly happy couples realize that happily ever after doesn’t just happen but that it takes effort. These couples focus on action steps they can take to improve their relational happiness rather than relying on their partner to fulfill them,” was their first tip.

#19

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

AnxiousPenman Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

I try not to go to bed angry... i usually say at least goodnight even if i mean f**k you!😅😅😅😅

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#20

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bofstein Report

Two Silly Pups
Community Member
1 month ago

BWHAHAHA! The irony here!

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#21

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StadulisDawna Report

Aunt Messy
Community Member
1 month ago

I WISH my parents had split up.

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“They can share good secrets with each other. They can practice sharing important things about themselves that they have never previously revealed to each other. It might be a childhood memory, a life-changing experience, or a vivid dream. Perhaps it’s a hope for the future or a fantasy. It can be lighthearted or serious. The important thing is that they authentically share with one another something meaningful. It’s imperative that couples are curious, open, and welcoming of the secrets and nonjudgmental. By doing so, couples will feel safe and will strengthen their connection,” relationship experts Suzie and James shared.

#22

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

pastorcablecarr Report

BlahBlahBlackSheepah
Community Member
1 month ago

Being a decent person will def get you sum more than being a bum.

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#23

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KristenStieffel Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

Why isn't an option? Are we royals or something?and nowadays even royals get divorce!

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#24

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maryanndains Report

QueenMiri
Community Member
1 month ago

Again. Bullshit. Cut out the toxic. Blood relation means nothing.

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“They can 'prioritize positivity' rather than just wait around for happiness to happen. In other words, they can schedule activities into their day that evoke joy and fulfillment. In the beginning of a relationship, we naturally experience a high level of positive emotions. As a relationship develops, we can’t expect to naturally experience the same frequency of 'high-arousal' positive emotions like amusement and joy. Rather we must notice what tends to lead to these feelings and then schedule those activities into our daily lives. Think back to the beginning of the relationship and those things that you enjoyed doing together as a couple and make it a priority to schedule them into your day. Also, try out something new that interests both of you. Research shows that seeking out and engaging in fun, exhilarating, and novel activities can increase mutual attraction and promote a healthy passion in intimate relationships.”

#25

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

jtreiff Report

Jo Johannsen
Community Member
1 month ago

That was a stupid movie AND stupid advice.

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#26

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Admiral_ABonn Report

Julia King
Community Member
1 month ago

D&D!!! :)

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#27

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

cherievann Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

🤮🤮🤮🤮

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What’s more, couples can create a ‘Positive relationship portfolio. “It entails gathering some of the key mementos, pictures, cards, letters, etc. that remind you specifically of your significant other and how special he/she is, and how important your relationship is. Once you put together the positive relationship portfolio you then spend 15 minutes each day for a week savoring and basking in the positive emotions that these items evoke in you. This exercise helps us rekindle those positive emotions that we had during the honeymoon phase, remembering all the great things about our partner and how important he/she is.”

#28

People-Share-Worst-Marriage-Advice

CharmedMagnolia Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 month ago

No one is perfect. The secret is to love someone with their imperfections instead of despite their imperfections.

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#29

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amarpeterman Report

Vicky Z
Community Member
1 month ago

In my country we say the opposite! First year you are deep into honey and then you are deep into s**t😒😒😒 not very optimistic i know!

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#30

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JoofGreenGables Report

Kevin Donegan
Community Member
1 month ago

I grew up in Montana. I stayed with my best college friend on their 50,000 acre cattle ranch regularly. Every night my friend's mother would come downstairs just to say goodnight. She looked like she was attending an Oscar awards performance (the hair and makeup). I asked my friend, "Why does your mom put on makeup and do her hair before going to bed?" My friend said, "My mom just wants to look nice for my dad." They were married for 70 years and sold the ranch ranch for $24,000,000. They're happy.

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Note: this post originally had 108 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

The couple also shared that it’s a must to continue seeing old and new strengths in our partners as time goes by. “It seems that in the beginning of the relationship we notice one another’s strengths and see our partner’s differences as intriguing as evidenced perhaps by marathon conversations that last long into the evening. However, after some time we often fall into a rut, stop asking questions, and think we know all there is about our partner. What perhaps we once saw as intriguing differences we now see as annoying deficits! That’s dangerous to a relationship. It’s important to continue asking questions and seeing strengths in our partner to help build a stronger bond."