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43 Times People Thought They Nailed It, But Just Embarrassed Themselves
Humans love to brag. We can’t help it, when we’ve accomplished something, we want others to know. And we can’t resist a nice pat on the back! But not everything is worth boasting about. In fact, we should definitely keep some things to ourselves…
Redditors have recently been sharing the strangest things they’ve ever heard people proudly share, so we’ve gathered their most amusing stories below. From being born with extra fingers to having an incredibly unhealthy work-life balance, enjoy your journey through all of these bizarre brags. And be sure to upvote the ones that make you say, “weird flex but okay!”
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#1
I always thought “we work hard, we play hard” was a weird flex bc literally everyone I’ve known who said this worked ungodly hours to the point they had no outside life, and the ‘play hard’ part just meant that when they did get off work, they would drink themselves into oblivion with their coworkers, who were pretty much the only people they had any contact with.
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#2
"I don't do anything around the house. My wife does it all." I've met your wife dude. She's miserable and hates her life.
#3
"I don't read" the guy actually thought this made him cool. I followed the question with "not even magazine articles?" This was right before smartphones completely took over. I was in shock. Still am. He made it sound like he goes out of his way to avoid reading. Like he likes to be willfully ignorant of all things that feed the brain. Maybe I'm a snob, but I can't get behind that. At the very least, maybe read a shampoo bottle when you p**p!
#4
When I worked and lived in South Korea, I came across a guy from the US who proudly claimed that he had been living there for over five years and "I've never tried Korean food, not even once."
Sir, why did you even choose to come to Korea?
Meanwhile, I ate Korean food regularly and discovered brand new favourites – some of which I still seek out at Korean restaurants here in Canada.
#5
I once walked out of the grocery store to see a guy leaning against this beautiful electric blue mustang, hitting on some girls and flexing on his ride and how hard he worked to get it and how he could take them for a spin in it if they'd agree to go on a date with him.
It was my mustang. I set the alarm off and just watched the panic from a distance.
#6
My neighbors across the street. A mom, her daughter, and 2 grandkids. She was [angry] because the school was sending the police due to her granddaughters missing too many days.
'I didnt finish high school and neither did my daughter, and we turned out fine!'
No, you didnt. You have 4 people in a 2 bedroom house that's falling apart and no car between the 4 of you. She was ranting about this while I was giving her a ride across town, because we are nice people and would occasionally help them.
#7
Does this count? I had a boss who would call my handwriting ugly and chicken scratch. She thought she had the "authority" to say it because she won an award for her handwriting, which she bragged about almost once a week. Eventually, I learned that the award she won was from Grade 3.................... Girly was in her 70s!
#8
My mom used to brag that she stayed in an a*****e relationship because she didn't want to be a "homie hopper" and women should stay loyal to one man and one man only
Anyways, the guy stabbed her and almost k**led her in 2016.
#10
"i dont like your father but i stay with him for you"
every professional ive spoken to and the rest of my family all agree that my parents shouldve split up because they treat eachother and me like absolute a*s.
#11
My ex boss said he doesn't even know the name of his son or how old he exactly is. He's married, his son and wife live in the same house. He's just a d**k.
#12
A couple of weeks ago, a mother of 4 was talking and goes,
"I took their pacifiers away really early, and if they sucked their thumb, I just spanked em! None of them [be bad] their thumb now!"
She was beaming with pride, and at that moment, I realized why when she called any of the girls, they instantly ran over. As a young parent, I'm not here to judge your parenting style, but at the same time, beating behavior out of your kid isnt the flex you think it is.
#13
I've said this before and it was popular, so I'll say it again. Anyone who bragged about not getting good grades.
#14
“You’re allergic to shellfish? Psh, so am I but I don’t let it stop me.” Then the guy proceeds to down four or five shrimp.
Imma throw in here I’ve been severely allergic for a couple years, he’d just found out and at first it was just mild skin irritation and a scratchy throat.
Glad I had a back up epi and knew how to use it, exposing himself the way he had been had made the allergy so much worse. Still took him to the ER and stayed with him till they got him unshrimped lol.
#15
I have a coworker in his 60s who brags about fights he won in elementary school. Like, watch out, we got a bada*s over here.
#16
My ex brother in law, when we first met him, said he had a file of Domestic Violence charges as thick as a phonebook.
That was a miserable 4 years.
#18
My exes terrible step dad moved their family into the worst neighborhood in town and told me directly "I moved my family here because this is where I grew up and look how good I turned out"
I mean the guy was well off. He was a foreman of a construction company. Well paid.
I guess he wanted me to ignore the 12 years of federal prison for armed robbery and attempted [end] 🤷.
#19
Guy hitting on me at a bar in Los Angeles asked me what I did. Told him I was a 2nd year at UC Berkeley Law.
He guffawed in my face and said “I was just in a national PEDIGREE commercial.” Pedigree as in dog food.
#20
“I have kids, I’ve passed on my genetic code” - my brother bragging to me whilst being jobless, owing thousands in child support, and barely seeing his kids.
#21
I'm always weirded out by old folk at work who will proudly tell you that they don't know how to use computers properly. That they've never learned to use Excel or whatever. Well done, you're s**t at your job. I'm no spring chicken but I've tried very hard over the years to keep a bit up to date.
#22
A manager of a different department to me prided herself on being crazy busy all the time. She proudly told me she hasn’t listened to music in 15 years because she doesn’t have time. I asked if she has a radio in her car and she said she turns it off. I said, what about in supermarkets where they play background music, she said she tunes it out and ignores it. This conversation was about 12 years ago and I’m still so confused.
#23
“I’ve had all degrees of burns.” In college, my husband was loitering in a hallway waiting for his class to open and was standing near a girl and a guy. Girls hands are both wrapped in gauze and the guy asks why. She says she has second degree burns on her hands and had to wrap them up. Then he very confidently comes out with “yeah, well I’ve had all degrees of burns” as the ultimate story top. It is said frequently around my home to this day and is a part of our family vocabulary.
#25
My BIL is almost 60 and doesn't eat fruits or vegetables and he thinks it's funny that his kids and now grandkids are the same.
#26
Last place I worked had a woman who bragged about having the most sick time and not using it. But would come in sick and work then complain when people would call out because they got sick.
#27
"I smoked through all five of my pregnancies and my kids turned out fine."
My boss, when I was pregnant and explaining why I didn't want to sit on the dock and smoke anymore.
#29
Working at a call center for a local medical group. Kind of a sad place with cubicles that were three feet wide and the walls went all the way up to the ceiling.
The woman I was shadowing was proudly telling me that today was her tenth anniversary with the company, and as a reward she got an additional paid day off. So if I work hard, I could have FOUR paid days off in ten years.
The only job I straight up walked out of.
#30
“I just tell it like it is. I ain’t gonna hold nothin’ back. I don’t give a [darn] what anybody thinks.”
-Redneck flex.
Okay, you have no grace, no decorum and no concern about the feelings of others.
#31
Years ago I went to a Mexican restaurant with my cousins. One of them starts mouthing off to the waitress because she forgot his sour cream. His equally-annoying brother tries to flirt with the waitress like “I’m not a p***y and I can eat Mexican food without sour cream”. He pauses so the Mexican waitress can congratulate him but she just goes (sigh) “ok”.
#32
I know this person who has these giant bicep muscles. Him and his partner would always brag how they're the biggest in the area. But honestly, they look ridiculous. Like someone jammed toddler head into his arm, they're huge. But it's not proportional to the rest of his body. I went home and had a good cackle with my husband about it.
#33
I had a coworker once who bragged that he has cheated on every girl he ever had. Dude was definitely a d****e.
#34
"there was a couple in the shop setting up monthly payments for their pram, they must have looked at us, young couple, nice car and been jealous we just bought the pram outright" - my brother, leaving out a very important part... He was given the money to buy the pram by his in laws, it wasn't his money. Also my parents bought his car 🙃.
#35
"I once chugged a whole jar of pickle juice and it destroyed the lining of my stomach!"
OK, go you, kiddo!
#36
On TikTok, there are dudes bragging about working 100hrs a week only to make like 10k a month, which, when you do the math, is a wage of only around $18/hr.
#37
“I don’t use my PTO” soooo you’re working for free basically? Weird flex but ok (we get X amount of days off that don’t roll over or pay out).
#38
Guy in front of me got stopped at customs and said very loudly and very slowly to the agent: “I am an international businessman.”
This was 20 years ago and I think of it weekly. No actual international businessman has ever described themselves that way.
#39
I've shared this before somewhere else, but I feel like it fits.
I used to work in a library that was in a v deprived area. Local kids would hang out there cos there wasn't really anywhere else for them to go. They had to have a library card to do that, and we kept a list of their parents/guardians to call if things got rowdy, which they often did.
One time these 2 kids were causing trouble after closing time, wouldn't leave, were throwing furniture around and yelling in our faces. I told them we were going to call their parents, one of them turned around and said triumphantly "HA! I don't even HAVE any parents!"
She did have grandparents though, who were pretty [angry] when they heard what she'd been up to.
#40
"I was a virgin before I got here. Since then I've had s*x with like 20 girls." Freshman friend of my college roommate. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he was still a virgin and given my roommate and his other friends reaction, they probably thought so too.
#41
An old guy that I used to work with used to say all the time….I’ve smoked for 52 years…since I was 13.
#43
I work in mental health care. on my first day two people turned their noses up at me for working in admin because they were both counsellors, and then one of them bragged about not being able to meditate because her "thoughts just go too fast". congratulations you will be horrible to your patients and either disorganised or really stressed out? well done? I would never want to receive treatment from someone that puts someone down for doing a different job to them?
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