Just for a moment, try imagining a world where insults don’t exist, where everyone tells the truth, and nobody swears. Ever. Sounds pretty boring, doesn’t it? Nobody’s excusing being nasty to other people, but insults tell us a lot about our background, our culture, as well as our outlook on life. It’s just part of being a human being like poetry, music, and art. What’s more, insults, when done right, are the perfect way to show how witty and creative we can be.
The ‘Rare Insults’ subreddit is a place on the internet where people share the best, the brightest, and the most Shakespearian insults they’ve come across. They’ll take your breath away. They’ll make you laugh. These creative insults will make you want to use your imagination the next time somebody wrongs you.
We’ve collected some of the best of the community’s thought-provoking and hilarious insults, so let us know which ones were your personal favorites and why. And don’t forget to upvote the best insults or the ones that you would love to use in real life. Bored Panda also talked to one of the moderators of the ‘Rare Insults’ subreddit about how the community first formed, as well as the place these savage insults and swearing have in our lives, so scroll down for the full interview.
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Serial Killer Names
Native Language
My uncle told me he was in a Walmart when he saw a dark skinned lady talking on her phone in a different language. Some idiot said to her We are in America if you want to speak Spanish go to Spain. To which she replied I am speaking one America's native languages. I am Navaho if you want to speak English go to England.
The ‘Rare Insults’ community on Reddit has grown enormous. Created in November 2017, it now boasts more than 1 million members. The subreddit has two aims: to collect good insults, as well as to help others “spice up” their vocabulary.
Blank-Cheque, one of the ‘Rare Insults’ moderators, explained to Bored Panda how the subreddit came into existence: “The community was originally founded by Gorangeninja two years ago, after he saw someone suggest it be made on another subreddit. The subreddit only grew to a few thousand users in the span of about 8 months. Our current top mod, Remydesp, was an active user in the subreddit in its first few months, and a lack of moderation plagued the subreddit, so he reached out to the mods offering to help out in the task of moderation.”
Imperial vs. Metric
Hahaha, metric all the way. Makes so much more sense than the imperial bull s**t.
Contrary to popular belief, the USA does actually use the metric system. We just use both systems really.
This. So. Much. Honestly gets a little old how people assume we can't figure out anything in metric. We are taught both. You aren't superior for using a different system. Everyone can use what they like - it's irrelevant to others.
Load More Replies...I've grown up on imperial, so I'm just used to it. It's easier for me. Inches, feet, yards, meters, miles, the whole system is just in my head. It's easier to me because I'm used to it. I'm guessing it's the same for you guys.
Well, they are *easier* to remember... If we want to be snarky, which I gather is what this site is. I can snark both sides; you bet. Especially on 'mine is better than yours' stuff. Like this.
Load More Replies...What bugs me is using the stone weight measurement. It wouldn't be so bad if pounds weren't used in conjunction with it. "He weighed 13 stone, 7 pounds". Just use pounds if you're already using it. Don't make me get out the calculator because my brain wasn't ready for unexpected math.
Well feet weren't invented by a "drunk mathematician rolling dice" either. But I love metric.
Sorry, but there is no way that they were merely drunk. There had to be far more than simple alcohol involved.
Except there's no country in the world that's fully metric. Quick, Brits, how many stone do you weigh? :P And btw, I'm 100% FOR moving the US to metric.
@Rachel @Rob so you're telling me there's no cups, teaspoons, tablespoons used in kitchen measuring? No drams, or pints used at the bar? No stones, or pounds used for weighing people (while simultaneously using metric to weigh literally everything else XD)? No grains for weighing explosives (mining, demolition, etc)? No troy ounces for precious metals? No nautical miles used for aviation and seafaring? No acres used for land (Australia, I'm looking at you here ;) ) There are holdovers everywhere, you just don't think about them unless they're pointed out. Metric makes math easier, certainly. But there's so many other systems used around the world still. US Customary isn't even the worst of them.
Load More Replies...No, it was made by the measurement of an English king's foot, hence the measurement 'foot'. And as the 'kilometre' is so mush smaller, how does that make it better if easier to remember?
You mean the imperial system? Originating in the UK in 1824 in the weights and measurements act passed by parliament?
Yes. They used a king's foot as a standard. (Hence the term.) It actually simplified things at the time.
Load More Replies...Three feet. The king's foot was the standard. About as good as anything else people have used, and it did standardize things. Where they got inches from, though, I have absolutely no idea. Probably a corruption of some Old English word for a measurement they were using already, and 12 of them happened to fit into the king's footprint...
Load More Replies...That's what I thought till I had to use SI units in school and later when I taught science. Now SI is as natural to me as Imperial, and one heck of a lot easier.
Load More Replies...The US is more than willing to do all sorts of wasteful, inefficient things just to prove they’re "different" and "special". Imperial units cost the US economy 75-100 BILLION dollars a year in errors, wasted time, lost international sales etc. ... but I've actually talked to people who believe being able to work with the clunky, cumbersome Imperial system demonstrates that Americans are "superior" to the rest of the world that insists on counting by tens! (/s)
Load More Replies...This always reminds me of the ridiculous money system in the wizarding world of Harry Potter.
I read that Rowling invented it as a not-so-subtle tweak against who STILL wanted to hang onto the obsolete shilling / florin / crown / whatever British system. Did you notice that the ratios in wizard money were also inconvenient prime numbers like 17 and 29, hah!
Load More Replies...Base 12 is the best. We have a base 10 system because of how many fingers and toes we have. That's why even with metric, measuring in feet is still common.
The cool thing about 12 is that you can count up to 144 using your fingers and thumbs. The urban myth for dozens is that you can count up to 12 by tapping your thumb against the knuckles and tips of your fingers. 144 just uses both hands.
Load More Replies...Did anyone else gave trouble with not giggling at the mathematician part?
I prefer imperial, no I have been using metric since I was about 5 years old, still find the 'old way' the best way!
Wtf! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof
Sure.. makes sooo much more sense. But hey, you people though imperialism / socialism was a grand idea too. How did that work for you in ww1 and ww2? Guessing it was brain child of your "leaders" to let refugee's into you country. And turn a blind eye while your neighbors were brutalized, and destroyed. You have a history of making great decisions. Maybe you serve more as a lesson of what NOT too do. Thank you Germany. But i think maybe we wont take your advice.
If that drunk mathematician got 5280 in a dice roll... he used a lot of dice or had a lot of re-rolls
Cont'd from previous post. The measures created were useful and understandable to a largely illiterate world. It was not possible to base them on wavelengths or infinitesimal fractions of the earth's circumference, and it didn't matter. What did matter that in some cases new and different measures were needed. Goldsmiths found ordinary ounces way too crude and so developed TROY weights which worked for the small quantities they dealt with. Printers had no clue about paper measured by weight and so there developed the ream (500 pp) and the quire (20pp), which made sense to them. There are lots of other systems, anmd they are delightful conventions. As it happens, I use both systems depending upon the audience write for; I didn't find it hard to dope out that a meter is just about a yard plus 10% (3.6")--inexact but close enough. As for metric fanatics and their rants and tirades, frankly I pity the,t They had saddled themselves with a black hole of ignorance. Cont'd next post.
Cont'd from last post (and I apologize for my execrable typing). In the end, the great value of the ancient measures is this: they were used to build almost the entirety of Western Civilization long the metric system was old enough to wear long pants. Here endeth the lesson.
Load More Replies...The metric system is nice, in its way. It's regular and scalable and has no irregularities or human qualities. It is a lot like Esperanto, but I can see its popularity: it's so easy. It requires no brains to use it. It is homogeneous and dull as dishwater. The so-called Imperial System was not invented by a drunk mathematician rolling dice, and it is telling that you resort to such a cruse insult in order to support your point of view. The Imperial system was invented piecemeal by hundreds perhaps thousands of people over great many years. Recognizing a need for fixed measures, individuals (likely tradesman) in many separate places created measures that were simple and understandable. such as the foot, based on the human foot; they yard (tip of nose to end of thumb (?), the span and the hand--both = to the width of the human palm (span has fallen into desuetude but hand still means something parts of the equine world) and many others. Continued NEXT post.
While I agree metric is better, it's not what we have and Official-Deutschland is a d**k
These are both loverly. I grew up when they were trying to change us to metric, and yes, it so very makes sense....all using 10's and 100's?? 1000's....But I also remember my dad crazying out over our just changing our pop to litres ;-) Sadly here in the states the saner metric didn't work so well.
The USA needs to go metric! We almost did in the 70s. Did we collectively eat a bowl of stupid flakes back then?
No, ultimately it came down to dollars. It just cost too much to change EVERYTHING over to metric. Stop and think of all the road signs alone. Then try to get every business owner to change every sign (some of whom can't afford to) and get the cranky old man who gives directions to learn new ones, change every floor dimension in all high-rises, and...you get the picture.
Load More Replies...What about the French guy who based the Meter on a his stride? It's even in the name: Metre (my tread).
You're almost certainly thinking of the yard, which _did_ come from a stride. "Meter" has nothing to do with "my tread" (which is an English expression anyway). It comes from Latin words relating to measurement. The size of the meter was based on how scientists of the time had measured the Earth's diameter.
Load More Replies...But do spell or correctly please :) a meter is a thing (Ed electricity meter). The measurement is metre
We also went to the moon with slide rules and computers that were less powerful than an average smart watch. That tired argument doesn't mean we should still be using obsolete methods.
Load More Replies...Warning Signal
“Over the course of the next year, Gorangeninja stepped down as top mod, and Remydesp and our former owner Tycoinator added many other mods to help out. The biggest challenge in getting a large following was maintaining the quality of the content on the subreddit. In the next 3 months, the subreddit grew almost 200k users, and the influx of new users brought along a lot of low quality posts. The support from the amazing moderation team has allowed the subreddit to thrive and still maintain the original quality. After Pewdiepie made a video on our subreddit, we grew almost 25k users in one day. If the subreddit did not have such hardworking and committed moderators, we would not have seen the success we have today,” Blank-Cheque said.
Future Boy
Comedy Club
According to the mod, there is a perfectly simple reason why most of us curse and swear. “The question seems more complex than it is; it requires no philosophy of any sort to answer, only science. Cursing has been observed by scientists to alleviate pain, and insult-like gestures have been observed by researchers even in chimpanzees.”
“Professor Frans de Waal said that angry chimpanzees "will grunt or spit or make an abrupt, upsweeping gesture that, if a human were to do it, you'd recognize it as aggressive" in order to avoid conflict, rather than to escalate it. He continues that a "chimpanzee who is really gearing up for a fight doesn't waste time with gestures, but just goes ahead and attacks." [Insults] are a part of life, and a world without them would be extremely different to ours to a degree which cannot be simply explained.”
Devil Chihuahua
Not Enough Words
When asked what their personal favorite rare insult posted on the subreddit is, Blank-Cheque said that it’s difficult to choose. “Honestly, we see such a volume of rare insults every day that it's so hard to pick a favorite. There are just so many great ones to choose from that I would never stop listing them. This subreddit has such creative posts, it's really a joy to mod it. As for whether we use any in public: no, no we don't. Hurling insults at people is generally considered rude and we try to avoid being rude.”
Taste Preference
Ahahah this is a great way to look at all bigotry problems. Just let the mushroom live in peace :))
Failed Relationship
All the countries of the world have a rich history of insults. Have you ever been called a ‘velnio išpera?’ Or a ‘varlės kinka?’ Lithuanian insults sound better than poetry and almost like compliments. A bit like swearing in French or wiping your bottom with silk, some would argue.
Meanwhile, a good many insults have fallen out of use in the English language. Insults like ninnyhammer (a fool), mumpsimus (a stubborn person who insists on making an error in spite of being shown that it is wrong), milksop (a pampered boy or man), cockalorum (a boastful, strutting, and self-important person), and lickspittle (a suck-up).
What do you say about bringing some of these insults back? The next time your colleague is sucking up to your boss, why not call him a lickspittle? And if you’ve shown your friend they’re wrong about something, but they insist on doing it nonetheless, call them a mumpsimus. Obviously, when somebody cuts in front of you on the highway, shake your fist, stick your head out of the window, and yell: “Sod off, you ninnyhammer!” But remember, insulting someone for fun is never the way to go, so stay classy.
Cat Overlords
Wax Models
Omg I absolutely thought the one on the right was the wax figure until I read the comments hahaha
Savage Burn
Classmates With Moses
Teen Olympian
Strange Fashion
Coat - Scooby. Turtleneck - Velma. Green thing (?) - Shaggy. Blue shirt - Fred. I guess that leaves Pink Trousers - Daphne?
Classic Zombie Movie
Sense Of Humor
Transformers
Happy Holidays
Rain Sounds Video
Small-Scale Miracles
Winning A Race
Classic Burn
Handling A Controller
Relationship Advice
Candy Corn
Knight In Shining Armor
Wi-Fi Connection
Prudent Investments
Waking Up
Wrong Name
Baby Boomer Things
... and now they're telling us there's enough toilet paper to go around forever, knowing they won't need it in a few years or so.
Stolen Face
Eminem's Brother
Friends
Cheating
Music Taste
Rate My Professor
Cartoon Characters In Real Life
Talented Artist
Showing Diversity
Uber Drive
Killer Robots
Applebee's Menu
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There is something to be said about a flag based off crummy peppermint candy Pepermint-...c0-png.jpg
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This reminds me of when Homer Simpson asked what is the number for 911.
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Billie Eillish dresses like a girl doing her utmost to avoid the media sexualising her.
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Many are funny but how appropriate is it to make fun of the way someone looks? I suppose no way has created an app that has a function: if you can't say something good don't say anything at all.
A lot of these come from the "roast me" subreddit or the person was being a prick & deserved it.
Load More Replies...Why do people have to share their insults, other than wanting their social media likes? How about sharing the great things about other people?
Sharing a good chirp IS sharing something great another person has done.
Load More Replies...Here's one: I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying you're the literal Monday of my life. Edit: F**k Mondays.
Many are funny but how appropriate is it to make fun of the way someone looks? I suppose no way has created an app that has a function: if you can't say something good don't say anything at all.
A lot of these come from the "roast me" subreddit or the person was being a prick & deserved it.
Load More Replies...Why do people have to share their insults, other than wanting their social media likes? How about sharing the great things about other people?
Sharing a good chirp IS sharing something great another person has done.
Load More Replies...Here's one: I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying you're the literal Monday of my life. Edit: F**k Mondays.