As you probably know, scientists distinguish five main stages of any person's perception of the inevitable: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, the last stage - acceptance. When a person has already completely resigned themselves to the inevitability of something that was so hard to fit in one's mind, with the existence of a sad truth, a new reality is thus formed. And no matter how difficult it is to admit that one's friend or relative is terminally ill, that we will never see the people closest to us again, that some of us are doomed to loneliness until the very end of our lives, sooner or later comes the realization of any sad fact. As painful as this realization may be.
A new thread appeared in the AskReddit community a few days ago, the author of which asked just one simple question: "What is a depressing truth you have made peace with?" As a result, there are over 37.2K upvotes and almost 22K comments in the thread so far. People share their innermost experiences - and often receive priceless moral support.
Bored Panda has put together a special curated list of the most touching and sincere comments, which we are sure will touch you to the core. So feel free to read to the very end of the list and, of course, express your own feelings, as support is so vitally important in any situation, no matter how sad it is.
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My dad passed away 6 weeks ago and I will NEVER see, hear, chat or get to hug him ever again & that forever is a long time.
The worst part was the occasional out-of-the-blue feeling of "I should go see my dad. I haven't seen him in a while." and then realizing that I simply can't. It's no longer an option.
I will never get back the time I have lost to depression.
Edit: I am amazed by the huge response, and appreciate your comments and the awards. Thankfully, life is mostly better for me. We can and do recover. I wish those of you in the middle of it you peace and love. Reach out for help, you are worth it.
A friendship you thought would last forever can end in an instant
I found out my so called best friend was stealing money from me and like had hundreds of pictures of underage girls on his computer. I noped out were done in a heartbeat.
The people that cause the most harm to the world will go unpunished, live happy and fulfilled lives, and die getting to do pretty much anything they ever wanted simply because they were either born into wealth or managed to acquire tons of if through nefarious means.
Or non-nefarious such as becoming an actor, model, musician and having the astonishingly good fortune of becoming rich and famous.Or rich and famous for nothing. Looking at you KUWTK. Although, they were already wealthy.
Just because you think someone is "the one", doesn't mean they think you are.
I find it more comforting than depressing but some people will see it as the opposite. I'm entirely fine with being in no relationship. It's been almost a decade since the last one and I just don't see it as the priority that others do. I'm entirely fine with just having friends and colleagues. Hell I'm happy. I just wanna toss it out there because some people might find my reasoning to be helpful in deciding their life priorities.
I realized in therapy yesterday I'm only keeping myself alive out of a sense of obligation to others. That wasn't a fun realization.
No one is coming to help
This is a huge fear. People just don't want to get involved.
The majority of the human race are narrow, deluded, arbitrary believers in fantasies, willfully ignorant about everything not immediately useful to them, violent, destructive, warlike, tribal as hell, and willing - under the right motivation or excuse - to commit any imaginable atrocity or horror on others... even their own neighbors. Humans are brutal apes with a thin veneer of civilization barely holding them back from constant genocide and cruelty.
I didn't want to believe this, and I have fought this conclusion for all of my 62 years. But I am rational, it cannot be denied. It must be accepted.
Whatever glory humans achieve, they can never truly be trusted. I cannot dismiss this any longer.
The worse part: you have to live within the algorithms set by their crazy.
That at the end of the day, the only one I can rely on is myself
My childhood is gone, and I have no good memory from that phase of my life
You are not alone in this. Make as much of your present life as you can! Do what you love most as frequently as possible, be it walking in nature, reading, chatting with friends, etc. Childhood is generally out of our control, but independent life is up to us.
Indeed - my childhood was miserable. I was bullied and misunderstood. Only my father stuck up for me.
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Survivor here. Someone once told me "It's never too late to have a happy childhood." I took it to heart and acted on it. That really helped.
This post hits real hard with me. No matter how many years there are between me and my childhood it never leaves you - sending supportive hugs to anyone who needs them x
😔 Children and animals are so innocent, it always shreds me to hear statements like this. If I could have one superpower, it would be to go back and un-f**k people's childhoods. It's literally the foundation for the rest of their lives.
I often felt this way about my childhood too. It was hard. They was very little joy in it. The advantage of becoming an adult is that from this point YOU get to choose what the rest of it looks like. Seek help for the trauma and focus on becoming the kind of person you want to be. It's not always an easy path but I'm in my 40s now and the last 15 years of my life have been amazing. I have sought joy, created wonderful memories and surrounded myself with spectacular people. Dont let the past dictate your future. You got this!
That is sad. I had an extraordinarily violent childhood. If the gangs didn't kill you, it was the cops, or the military. I have scars on my face from being beaten with a pistol for my school bag, at age eight. My father (journalist) was arrested when I was three. I didn't see him again until I was 13. The smell of bullets and blood, and the sound of womens screams are still regular nightmares, thirty years later. But I still have many many wonderful childhood memories. Getting ice cream with my grandmother. Playing with strays and chasing monkeys. Football on the beach (soccer for Americans). Fear, tons. Sadness, definitely. But joy too. Maybe the fact that i was deadly aware of mortality made me appreciate the little things. By six, i understood when my grandmother told me that mornings weren't a promise. I'm so sorry, truly that you have no happy memories. Perhaps, now is the time to make some. Go play on the beach. Treat an old lady to an ice cream cone. Good luck to you
My only good memories from my childhood came from spending time with my grandparents, who just let me be. I was always good enough for them, everyone else had issues with me and caused me so many problems. They were the reasons I never gave into my dark thoughts. I was 29 when my last grandparent died but I felt a piece of myself go with them. The end of my childhood.
I'm pretty much there too. But I decided I'm going to damned well make some great memories for the rest of my life. I learned not to let my mostly crappy childhood past rule my my life. What's done is done. It's really about what you do for your future.
It’s not just childhood that’s gone. The true evil is that unless you act quickly, you’re whole life is gone. You’re born a prisoner. Then, you spend the next few decades hating yourself so much that you self-sabotage any possibility of wellbeing, because trauma creeps in. It takes years to overcome. And in this time, it’s NOT your fault, but you tend to either live in isolation or attract abusive people who see your lack of self-love. Traumatizing you again and again. Even children bullied you. If you avoid suicide, then it’s still not very lucky. You may have DID, psychosis, mood, attachment, and personality disorders, or schizophrenia. By the time you’re old enough to let go, after wasting your life, you’re about 50 or 60. Then your parents cut your life short. It’s been shown that cortisol damage can lower your life expectancy sharply. All the pent up stress hormones make your body try to kill itself in a myriad of ways. Jesus becomes the only option, because life is trash here.
It is a part of the book of your life. And while it may not inspire you very much, but, the creation of good, poignant, and sometimes silly, will come. And those are/were moments, certainly not the sum of your life.
That's why I'm in my late 50s and carry a stuffed toy chicken as a purse, wear two different earrings, and have maintained a Sesame Street site for 25 years now! It all keeps me young and sane (little greenery or edibles don't hurt either). I've blocked so many bad memories that they also took away a ton of good ones from back then, which is a real shame. But, it's never too late to be a kid-at-heart!
I used to, until I found out I had borderline personality disorder, from childhood trauma. Now every single good memory of my childhood is forever bloody tainted, thanks to my idiot mother.
Learning meditation, they dafe to imagine a place where you felt safe. There wasn't such a place for me
Sorry to hear. My suggestion is go buy yourself a box of lego. Grown-ups are big fans of lego, and it will give you the experience of a happy childhood, because frankly, lego is the best part about being a kid. Oh and icecream. Buy lego and icecream. Done.
Sometimes people you care deeply about will choose to drop out of your life and all you can really do is have the grace to let them
To everyone struggling with being left behind, and to everyone struggling with having to be the one to leave- I hope the pain eases for you soon.
Yep. My best friend of several decades recently dropped me and I have no idea why.
I will always fight my demons. There is no healing from it.
Being alive is expensive.
Dying is expensive too. I don't need a funeral, just throw me in the trash.
I'm aware enough to know that there is something wrong with me. But I'm not aware enough to know what it is, let alone fix it.
A sick mind cannot heal itself. Sometimes we need help from someone else. I've learned so much from therapy, and I've needed it at different times in my life, for different reasons. It was always helpful, and never a waste.
You can do everything perfectly and still fail completely.
That and
People would rather leave you than own up to what they did and they’ll never even give you a second thought. Humans, turns out, are good at lying to themselves.
I heard the first part from ST:TNG "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.”
No matter how hard you love someone, they can fall out of love with you and there’s nothing you can do to fix it. Took me a lot of self destruction and pain to realize it. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.
Yeah. And while love can be brought back it takes that both are willing to really work for it. You can't bring life to a dead relationship on your own.
My grandpa just wanted to get to know me and the man I was becoming during his last year of life. Which I was too young and too selfish to realize.
My depression is very likely chronic. I'll be living with it for the rest of my life.
You can do yourself a favor by seeing a doctor. Antidepressants literally saved my life. I went on and off them when I was younger, but at this point, it’s not worth it to me to go off them.
You're completely alone inside your own head. No one will ever be able to truly feel what you feel.
That’s not true! I have the little voice in my head to keep me company!!
I'm aging nonstop
I don't like when people say 'never get old'. I don't have a choice. You can't stop it. You gotta learn to appreciate it. I've learned to appreciate my age. I'm 36, and while my back hurts in the morning, I am so much more comfortable with myself than when I was younger. I continue to become happier with who I am, and care less about the little things. While sometimes it does upset me, I try to remember that as I get older, the less F**KS I will give!
I will always have the big sad following me, I can push it down for a bit, but it will come back eventually.
I just need to remember to breathe and remember I can get past it.
I'll never be comfortable financially. I have failed every attempt. I really did try. I promise you, I did. But nothings worked for me. I just have to accept it.
There will be no cure for my spinal cord injury in my lifetime. It was initially very depressing to realise, but almost 3 years in I'm kind of okay with it.
They should cure other stuff like ALS first, and if it has to be SCI related - cure the nerve pain, or the bowel/bladder stuff. The not walking is very low on my list of priorities personally.
I'm aware of ongoing research, but have no faith in any of it. We'd have to either revolutionise neurology or be very lucky.
Chronic illness and Injuries can happen and they don’t pick convenient moments to dump on you. I just try to make the best of what I have
That one day I won’t be alive and neither will anybody I love 🥺
That my whole life has been a waste. That if I disappeared tomorrow nobody would even know or care. I used to consciously feel the existential dread that brings, but now I just kind of ignore it and keep going on with my mechanical existence.
Working at a desk, literally being tethered to a computer and phone, I feel like a zombie, a shell of my body, and all the torment I've endured over the years has left me numb and I can't even muster to do anything about it.
I’m a coward and it’s costing me.
Edit:
I read a few of the many comments, and I’ll answer a few. I’m a coward because I’m afraid of change, I’m afraid to fail and to hurt people, I’m afraid my dreams make me selfish and that I’ll step on people who are just like me if I try to pursue them. Yes, I am afraid to ask people out, and I’m afraid that someday I’ll realize that they might have been the one. I’m afraid my efforts however inconsequential are in vain. I’m afraid to stand up, for myself and for others. I was afraid of the truth, and at least I can say I got past it, because now, I am oh so intimately familiar with my flaws. I’m afraid that I have a superiority complex and act like a snob, while I am ironically afraid that I am rather stupid. I’m afraid I talk to much and I annoy everybody I talk to, and that even when they smile, in their mind they are begging me to shut up for a minute. I’m afraid that I’m a fraud, and I’m afraid that I have no right to fear these things so early in life.
I don’t see a therapist because they cost money, and I work at a gas station.
Maybe I haven’t really made peace with it. I hope to god I’m not this way forever. I know, that someday, somehow, I’ll find a way, but for now, It’s all I can do to stay in perspective and slink forward to the next day. And look forward to a future that seems oh so far beyond the reach of one with the means I posses.
Sounds like you may have an anxiety disorder. I struggle with this too.
If your parent(s) were abusive, they will be abusive to your spouse and children. Walk away so they cannot spread poison into your life anymore.
F**k that. I refuse to let anyone abuse my children. At the cost to my own life I will go down fighting to keep my children safe .
Realizing that justice went from being a right, to a theory, to a concept, then merely to a word. And that in reality, it’s become such a disregarded “right” for so long that it’s now normalized, and there are so many who are part of the system in one way or another (including those who claim to advocate for someone’s rights) that they are comfortable brazenly and openly committing on a daily basis, it’s now a given
Justice is, and ALWAYS HAS BEEN, an ideal. You can't reach it, only try to approach it, because people are individuals and societies change. Something that feels good/is right for one person at one time may feel bad/be wrong for another one, and laws have to generalize.
If your parent(s) were abusive, they will be abusive to your spouse and children. Walk away so they cannot spread poison into your life anymore.
Realizing that justice went from being a right, to a theory, to a concept, then merely to a word. And that in reality, it’s become such a disregarded “right” for so long that it’s now normalized, and there are so many who are part of the system in one way or another (including those who claim to advocate for someone’s rights) that they are comfortable brazenly and openly committing on a daily basis, it’s now a given.
Justice is, and ALWAYS HAS BEEN, an ideal. You can't reach it, only try to approach it, because people are individuals and societies change. Something that feels good/is right for one person at one time may feel bad/be wrong for another one, and laws have to generalize.
Realizing that justice went from being a right, to a theory, to a concept, then merely to a word. And that in reality, it’s become such a disregarded “right” for so long that it’s now normalized, and there are so many who are part of the system in one way or another (including those who claim to advocate for someone’s rights) that they are comfortable brazenly and openly committing on a daily basis, it’s now a given.
Realizing that justice went from being a right, to a theory, to a concept, then merely to a word. And that in reality, it’s become such a disregarded “right” for so long that it’s now normalized, and there are so many who are part of the system in one way or another (including those who claim to advocate for someone’s rights) that they are comfortable brazenly and openly committing on a daily basis, it’s now a given.
Realizing that justice went from being a right, to a theory, to a concept, then merely to a word. And that in reality, it’s become such a disregarded “right” for so long that it’s now normalized, and there are so many who are part of the system in one way or another (including those who claim to advocate for someone’s rights) that they are comfortable brazenly and openly committing on a daily basis, it’s now a given.
Note: this post originally had 96 images. It’s been shortened to the top 37 images based on user votes.
Most of this list is less coming to terms and more a worrying display of the lack of mental health support available to these individuals. I read a lot of these as cries for help.
Yeah, a lot of them sound clinically depressed and unable to get any help for it.
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For anyone who actually got through this, I don’t want you guys to end sad so I found this. https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photos-baby-hippo-image21401803 Pictures of hippos
I've come to terms that my baby boy died of sids. And I'm now in therapy, on meds and doing much better. Now i have mental space to help my husband and children deal with their grief too. This post helped alot. Thank you BP.
This is heartbreaking *and* life affirming (and not a contradiction in terms!). I don't mean to be flippant - I'm so dreadfully sorry for your loss, but you have described how well you are now doing as well as being in a position to help the others who have not yet reached your level of acceptance. This is truly coming to terms with something awful and I wish you all the very best internet hugs from a stranger can offer.
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This post is depressing. Can we get more of the uplifting posts, BP? We need them now more than ever at a time like this.
i think it is useful to help people who cannot get help otherwise. Many people here on BP are kind and will offer helpful suggestions to depressed or abused people.
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So many of us stuck in the griefs of this world. God tells us We will have trouble in this world. Fortunately, He has overcome it and there will be a new one without suffering for those who want it. Hang on to Him. I can’t imagine suffering this without Him. I see so many trying and it pains me.
I got one. A romantic partner who is loving and caring at the beginning of the relationship but turns out to be dishonest, manipulative and vindictive can be indistinguishable from a partner who is loving and caring at the beginning of the relationship but turns out to remain that way forever. It leaves you unable to make the determination if minor idiosyncrasies are benign like most people, or if they are the red flags you should have seen in the first relationship. It will drive you crazy wondering if you are crazy, and it will further drive you crazy to think maybe you scrutinized backwards: you were generous and forgiving when you should have been hyper vigilant, and hyper vigilant when you should have been generous and forgiving.
Most of this list is less coming to terms and more a worrying display of the lack of mental health support available to these individuals. I read a lot of these as cries for help.
Yeah, a lot of them sound clinically depressed and unable to get any help for it.
Load More Replies... For anyone who actually got through this, I don’t want you guys to end sad so I found this. https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photos-baby-hippo-image21401803 Pictures of hippos
I've come to terms that my baby boy died of sids. And I'm now in therapy, on meds and doing much better. Now i have mental space to help my husband and children deal with their grief too. This post helped alot. Thank you BP.
This is heartbreaking *and* life affirming (and not a contradiction in terms!). I don't mean to be flippant - I'm so dreadfully sorry for your loss, but you have described how well you are now doing as well as being in a position to help the others who have not yet reached your level of acceptance. This is truly coming to terms with something awful and I wish you all the very best internet hugs from a stranger can offer.
Load More Replies... This post is depressing. Can we get more of the uplifting posts, BP? We need them now more than ever at a time like this.
i think it is useful to help people who cannot get help otherwise. Many people here on BP are kind and will offer helpful suggestions to depressed or abused people.
Load More Replies... So many of us stuck in the griefs of this world. God tells us We will have trouble in this world. Fortunately, He has overcome it and there will be a new one without suffering for those who want it. Hang on to Him. I can’t imagine suffering this without Him. I see so many trying and it pains me.
I got one. A romantic partner who is loving and caring at the beginning of the relationship but turns out to be dishonest, manipulative and vindictive can be indistinguishable from a partner who is loving and caring at the beginning of the relationship but turns out to remain that way forever. It leaves you unable to make the determination if minor idiosyncrasies are benign like most people, or if they are the red flags you should have seen in the first relationship. It will drive you crazy wondering if you are crazy, and it will further drive you crazy to think maybe you scrutinized backwards: you were generous and forgiving when you should have been hyper vigilant, and hyper vigilant when you should have been generous and forgiving.
