32 People Used The Anonymity Of The Internet To Share The Secrets They’ll Never Reveal In Real Life
We all have secrets. But no matter whether they are light or dark, big or small, some of them we are keeping to ourselves and eventually taking to our graves.
Still, hiding something is usually no easy burden, and thus, the idea of anonymously sharing it becomes very tempting. That’s why when someone online asked people about these secrets, netizens didn’t hesitate to fill the thread with answers, all while remaining calmly hidden behind their Reddit usernames. Scroll down to see what they said!
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I have shared it before but I have a Mum of a friend who took me in when I was homeless just after highschool. She made me a Lemon Meringue Pie that first night and I was so hungry I nearly ate the whole thing by myself. I hadn't had a home cooked meal for a long time. She was so excited that I loved it because her boys 'turned their nose up at it'.
The catch is.... I can't stand lemons, or meringue.
Now, she's been making me a Lemon Meringue Pie every year since, because "it's my favourite". Over 20 years (and counting) of Lemon Meringue Pies that I will happily choke down until the day she dies ...then, I will miss those pies more than anything else in the world.
*sniffle* yeah they’re really annoying but keep turning up
Load More Replies...For some reason my dad would always offer me ham sandwiches when he was bringing me lunch or if I was at their house at lunchtime, I would always remind him that I hated ham and he would say "I thought that was your sister." Every time someone mentions a ham sandwich, I think of my dad and really wish he was here to offer me one and I would gladly eat a (yucky) ham sandwich to have another moment with him.
I think it was Robert A. Heinlein that had a idea that there would be nutrient bars and the only difference between the treat version and the survival ration version was the treat version came in good flavors but the survival ration version was deliberately bad tasting enough that it was just barely edible if you were starving and if you had a choice you would eat a rat, this made it so in famine or a disaster food would be available that was immune to hoarders, price gougers, thieves, gluttons, and lazy wasters.
That is so sad, and beautiful, and ironic, and loving, I am almost envious.
My sweet and gentle wife called me upset because she was unsure if she hit a squirrel with her car on her way to work, she said it ran out in front of her but she didn’t see him lying in the road afterward. The road she was on is close to our house, so I went and found the poor little guy, scooped him up with a shovel and buried him on the side of the road, so that on her way home she would see that there wasn’t a dead squirrel and assume she hadn’t hit him. That’s exactly what happened, she was relieved and I’ll never tell her the truth.
The first time I hit an animal driving was an opossum. I imagine had my life not been in absolute shambles that the experience would have been traumatic. This one time I was at an intersection with my then roommate. There was a dog trying to cross the street, it wasn't a big town. The light turned green and the drivers on the other side didn't even wait, they struck the dog immediately breaking its leg. Neither of us at that point wanted to run into traffic to assist a now terrified and injured dog. While we were screaming at each other about what to do the dog got struck again. A couple got out of the vehicle and tossed it to the side. Really changed my perspective that day on people.
I never cried at any funeral of my family member, but I cried for two hours straight bawling my eyes out because my beloved guinea pig died in my arms and I wasn't able to save her. Rest in peace, Swanky.
My dad has just passed. I haven't cried, or even felt like crying. His suffering and decline are over. He was ready, and he's in a better place. If I outlive Bouche and Audi, I expect I won't cry for them, either. The other side of the rainbow bridge is full of other animals for them to pounce. If I cry, I'll be crying for myself, not them.
Love this. I cried a lot when we had my 29yo horse put to sleep, but all the tears were for me (I'd had her 19 years, since I was 14, and she had been a literal lifeline) - I took a great deal of comfort from her peaceful, stress-free passing, knowing that if she had lived longer it would have been for us and not her and that we had put her interests first.
Load More Replies...I've been to multiple funerals with my mother and she cried at all of them, but it was always silent crying. But when her dog died she sobbed so loudly you could hear it from the garden outside. Pets are different.
Grief works in strange ways. Sometimes you don’t cry even when you’re really sad. Rest in peace, Swanky, you were truly loved, but not crying for the deaths of others doesn’t mean you didn’t love them just as much.
I didn't cry when my great grandma or my grandma died. But I was crying my eyes out when my budgie died. I talked with my mom about it and we agreed that I just felt closer to Pjuske (my budgie) than those two women in my family.
Part of dealing with death in human relationships is the sense of relief, It's not a matter of how close you are. My father died quickly from an unexpected illness. I cried a ton. My grandmother had a long slow decline. I was very sad that she had died, but I did not cry. I was more relieved that her suffering was finally over.
Load More Replies...Swanky would have passed knowing her carer and protector was with her and loving her. She would have been incapable of the thought processes needed to consider you as having failed to save her, but even if she had been, she would have seen it from the perspective of you having tried your hardest to save her instead. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I always feel like a horrible person because I cried more when my cat died, or when my favorite fictional characters die. even rewatching/reading the fictional deaths hurts more than any funeral. Am I a horrible person?
If you are, then I am too. It hasn't happened yet, but I already know that when my elderly dog dies it's going to have more impact on me than when my grandparents died.
Load More Replies...Despite being social creatures that like to talk and connect, there are certain things that we may refrain from sharing with others and many different reasons why we might choose to do that. But when talking about secrets, the first thing that comes to the minds of most people is probably something dark and heavy.
As it turns out, keeping something like that hidden away from the world might actually do damage to us. As Roberta Dode of Unveiled Facts shared, doing this can damage relationships with friends, family, and partners, as it limits our communication and can lead to suspicion as well as hostility, which, in the end, can breed even more secrecy.
Secrets in families play an even bigger role, as keeping something from children can make them feel left out, leading to them forming similar behavioral patterns. They might even end up having a distorted perception of reality due to not learning certain things that are hidden from them, whether because of trying to shield the kids or keeping things from the parents themselves.
My younger brother and his wife were struggling financially after having a kid. They were both in school full time and both worked to try and make ends meet, but one particular month things were looking really rough because he got injured and couldn't work.
I was working overtime at a really well-paying job at the time. So one night, after getting paid, I went to their place and put an envelope with my entire pay into their mail slot in the door. It was accompanied with a letter I typed, pretending to be an old lady in the apartment building who had seen them with their newborn and wanted to help the new parents out.
The relief they got from it was repayment enough for me. I don't want him to ever find out it was me.
And now that he's graduated, he's the one working at an insanely well-paying job and I'm currently disabled, unable to work. Funny how life works out that way.
My younger sister and I were in high school at the same time. She was the most beautiful girl in the whole school, and surprisingly, this caused her to not have many friends. She did have one group of girl friends who bullied her and eventually kicked her out of the group. One of the girls was her childhood best friend. It was obviously a jealousy thing as she was (is) also the sweetest person you could meet.
So one night my hooligan friends and I were driving around trashing peoples cars who we didn’t like. (I know, so cool) just with things like glitter, beans, toilet paper, etc. no damage was actually done. These people were also just mean a******s and we had fun doing it. We got to one girls house whose little sister was the main bully of my little sister. We watched from the car as they arrived home, and I said “y’all stay here. I got this one”
I went up and knocked on the door and the mom answered and I said “hi! Is Lexi here? 😀” Lexi came to the door and her face dropped. I told her that if she ever puts my sisters name in her mouth ever again I’d come right back here and beat the s**t out of her. I pointed over to the car with my friends faces all glued to the window and said “and they’ll come to.” And left
They left my sister alone and she thought it was because she was the bigger person and felt proud of herself for never lowering herself to their level. I never told her.
You're a good sibling! (edit: I typed brother but there's no way for me to know the gender of op)
"Surprisingly" ?? Many would have that reaction also - but only if you've never really looked at history- the autobiographies for example of Hollywood "beauties". You will NEVER find one where a beautiful girl had a life of being treated well. Never. Beauty makes you a TARGET - and everyone shoots at it. But somehow, we all still believe it would be better if we were prettier-
So true as someone who grew up with the ‘prettiest girl in kindy/school/life.
Load More Replies...Siblings can be great like that. I’ve always been the unpopular one in school, and my little sister has always been a social butterfly. When this boy in my classes was a bigoted, chauvinistic jerk to me, my little sister decided to take her friend group and get some revenge. Every time she or her friends see this boy in the halls, they start loudly talking amongst themselves about how dumb/cruel/ugly/bigoted the boy is. Is it morally grey? Yes. Do I love that my little sister is going after a ninny twice her size? Also yes.
Where I came from, usually the most beautiful girl in school would have the most friends! But people from my home country are generally very friendly and if someone is very pretty, they all wanna be friends with that person. No get jealous and be mean. It's kinda like they feel honored that a beautiful person wants to be friends with them as well.
I am totally okay with dying and I kind of look forward to it. I wouldn't tell anyone because they would probably interpret it as me [wanting to hurt myself] but I don't have any desire to [end] myself. But if I was diagnosed with cancer tomorrow [I] would definitely refuse treatment.
No regrets. My father was like that my entire life. He did what he wanted to do, made a great life for his family, and never had a single regret or "what if" If it was his time to go, he was fine with it. Nothing to do with self-harm, entirely to do with he was at peace with himself.
this is actually me. my only fear of death is it being a long, painful, agonizing one, and the grief my loved ones would experience. but for myself, i'm completely fine with the idea of not being here anymore.
This is literally me. I feel I was were never meant to be born. That I've never been equipped to deal with life. That life isn't a gift, it's a burden. Especially for a variety of reasons which I won't get into. Yes, there are people who have it way worse than me. But this is mine, the one I'm dealing with. No, this isn't a cry for help. I'm just treading water until I don't have to anymore. And, like OP, if I were to get cancer or something I would refuse treatment. I'm just ready to go.
I'm sorry. I've felt like this before. It's pretty miserable, and exhausting. I'm no doctor, but this sounds like depression. I hope you can find someone to talk to, because it can get better. I promise.
Load More Replies...Been diagnosed with cancer. Hands down scariest day of my life. Decided I wanted to live. There’s too many things I haven’t done yet
The world would be a better place if people would more readily accept death with some semblance of grace. The amount of money, time and resources people spend on prolonging life by weeks or months, which are filled with suffering and indignity is absolutely shameful. Everyone, and everything is going to die. There is no escaping it, it's simply part of life. In fact it's the only thing that gives life any meaning or value. Stop trying to cheapen it by borrowing, begging and stealing more of it.
I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve lived a good life. Not the least bit interested in being kept alive past my “good until expiration” date.
But those are not all of the ways in which keeping secrets can be unhealthy. According to Elisabeth Egan of The New York Times, the most harm actually comes not from hiding something but from having to live with it alone in your thoughts.
As the person’s mind keeps wandering to the secret they’re keeping over and over again, with no emotional support or advice, it can take a real toll on one’s mental health. Eventually, this can create a lot of anxiety, stress, and the feeling of being burdened, leading to a worsened quality of life and other serious problems that can show their face in the long term.
I had a terrible mother and father-promised myself to never walk out on my kid. When my first kid was 2 years old, my wife cheated and it crushed me. She was the major bread winner at the time and I had to move out of our upper middle class house into an apartment in the s****y part of town. I nearly [took my own life]. She “realized her mistake” and came begging for me to take her back after about 9 months. I love my kids so much and wanted to spend everyday with them, so I “forgave” her and we have been together since. She doesn’t know for the last 16 years, I haven’t loved her. I pretend to be happy to ensure someone else doesn’t raise my children.
Yeah, there's no happy ending for anyone in this scenario.
Load More Replies...You've got real guts. Hope the kids turn out worth it- doesn't always happen.
Tough decision and a lot of people (men or women) wouldn’t be able to do it without taking it out on the kids or exposing them to a toxic situation.
Oh, I am so torn about this. I understand his reasoning. But this really isn‘t healthy! And not fair for anyone. I bet his kids know anyway. I really can‘t imagine faking it convincingly for this long
My family friend (basically like an aunt) is in this situation. Stayed until the kids finished high school, but then as she was ready to leave, husband gets cancer and she feels too guilty leave him now (statistics show women are less likely to leave a sick partner than men). Kids (or at least the son) have known for years parents aren't happy and it has caused a lot of tension.
Load More Replies...Wow, when your love for your children exceeds your want for your own life. Amazing.
When your last kid turns 18, sit her down and tell her how you feel. Then go find someone you can love who will love you back.
I was 13 when I did this. My big brother is a diehard Ronaldo fan - around the time of his birthday I happened to be in Dallas and Ronaldo also happened to have a game in the city. I quickly asked my uncle to take me to the local sports store so I can use my savings to buy a Ronaldo jersey and waited for hours outside Ronaldo’s hotel for him to sign it - but he never came out and my flight back home was soon.
So… on my flight back home I end up signing the jersey myself, after studying Ronaldo’s signature. I also found a couple believable photos on Google of Ronaldo walking and made it seem like I took those pics myself, right before he “signed” it. When my big brother opened the present, he fell to his knees in shock and happiness and 15 years later, he still cherishes it and talks about it weekly how it’s the best gift of his life. Can’t take that joy away from him.
To the grave.
not quite a secret, but i did something similar for my older brother who is a big joe montana (me as well) fan. i met montana in person back in 2001 and was going to get an autograph from him. when he confirmed my name, i stopped him and asked him to make it out to my older brother because he is handicappedand it would mean a lot more to him and i actually got to meet him. we gave it to him at our daughter's birthday party.
It's situations like this that lead to shocking revelations at the p**n shop.
Yeah don't know why you were down voted. What is he takes it to get authenticated? Now you've been lying for 15 years
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I'm the reason a guy was caught, went to prison and was [ended] there by his inmates. It was cold and bloody revenge.
I just told some critical information to the wrong people.
He took everything from someone I love so I've taken everything from him, broke him and ruined his reputation and got him [dead].
I regret nothing and would do it again. Every. f*****g. time.
That's a very hard thing to share. But? My own opinion - there are actually a fair number of people in this world, who really, truly, need to be dead. The only way to improve the world sometimes.
I just really hope the guy in the story actually deserved it. They don't elaborate on what the guy (allegedly) did that was so bad, so I really hope it was justified not an overreaction.
Load More Replies...I cannot imagine that you would be interested in this opinion, but: this was not a neutral decision for you. Someone else being evil is on them. You being evil is on you. I am sure you don’t see it this way but the damage done to your soul is very great. I know there are people in the world who think you should be dead because of your nationality (presuming American but likely true a lot of places), your religion or lack thereof, your past mistakes, etc. etc. If you are judge and jury you cannot withhold that right from anyone. And now the whole world will be tortured to death. And the perpetrators will be damaged beyond belief. Ther is another way out that heals you.
What I am hearing is that they shared the truth of a person's crime. They didn't cause them to be guilty. They were guilty. Are you saying they should have covered for them?
Load More Replies...What is it with the "was ended" BS? You got him killed. The verb is killed, not ended.
However, regardless of the picture painted above, not all secrets are harmful. In fact, as Noa Leach from Science Focus shared, some might actually even be good for you.
A recent study done by researchers at Columbia University revealed that keeping good news to yourself can actually energize you and make you feel more alive. It turns out that keeping these types of secrets can boost a person’s energy levels, and even the intention of eventually spilling the beans gets a nice positive spin, especially if it’s planned in the form of a surprise.
that i hate my brother. he's a total a*s and i hope he dies. for some clarification he's autistic so that makes it very difficult. he's so controlling and i just can't deal with it anymore. It's so hard...
Don’t downvote this, it’s just this persons feelings. Just because the brother is autistic, doesn’t mean that he can’t be an a*s.
Being autistic doesn't automatically make someone a good person. Hell, I know quite a few autistic people and 3 of them you couldn't pay me to hang out with cos they're utter tw4ts.
I'm autistic and I cut a fellow autistic out of my life because of his horrible behaviour. Being mentally handicapped or whatever you want to call it doesn't make you a saint! Dude wouldn't stop trying to get in my pants and when I said no, for the last time I'm not attracted to you, he tried to neg me. I never spoke to him again.
Twenty-plus years ago, I met a guy at a club, hooked up with him a couple times, super casual. Never gave me ANY reason to suspect he wasn't single.
Then he died -- I found out from the bartender. It was a car crash.
Found the obituary... and learned that he had a loving wife and two young kids.
To. The. Grave.
When the "Me Too" movement came out I wrote an email to my former boss (to his work address), explaining in exact detail how his constant comments on the size of my bust were, in fact, sexual harassment. I got a response - from his wife. He had died a few years prior and she had taken over the company. Oops.
I think the wife should still be told. I know it's not the same but what if he happened to be a murderer or an abuser who hid all of those things and then died? If you were the wife, wouldn't you want to know and stop loving someone like that or think of them in a positive way after they died?
20 plus years ago and now he has small children? Maybe he was not married at the time you hooked up?
No, it all happened 20+ years ago. Not 20+ years between hookups and the guy's death.
Load More Replies...Because telling his family would serve no purpose other than to cause them more pain. They were innocent of his actions and there's nothing they can do about it now.
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My wife and I were in our early days of dating when she bought baseball tickets for us and some friends. The problem though was the tickets ended up being for that afternoon and not the following day.
She was super upset and was afraid she lost that money. I had her put them on the resale site.
They didn't sell for a few hours so I went and bought them. I'd do it 100x over seeing her face of relief. I relisted them for a lower price and made a little of the money back.
I think she would literally [end] me if she found out.
TL;DR - bought the same baseball tickets twice to make my now wife happy.
Right? It feels condescending somehow. I would feel like a fool if I found out. It reminds me of my ex, who pretended he couldn't cook, just because he thought I was cute when I "taught" him. He confessed during the divorce. I was like, "why would you do that? I feel like a fool, and I genuinely thought you were inept for not knowing how to brown ground beef in your mid-twenties."
Load More Replies...She would not end you. She would be confused but also hopefully see that it was a very sweet gesture.
I wouldn't mind if my husband did this but I don't understand why people would buy tickets for a game that passed. Legit confusion.
What makes you think the game had passed? The game was LATER that day, rather than the next day which is what she thought.
Load More Replies...We often miss this side of keeping secrets, as all the previous research has focused on the negative side of it and the things being hidden due to negative implications to our and others’ lives.
In addition to that, it’s not as usual to hide something that we’re happy about, as we tend to share it as soon as we can. Compared to the negative things, when someone chooses to keep something positive a secret, they almost always make a choice to do it, going for their own enjoyment as opposed to being forced to by internal or external factors.
When i was a younger person(17 years old, this happened around 12 years ago) my little sister (16)got involved with some…. Unsavory people My parents forced me to swap phones with her for her safety and as i was still paying off my phone i couldnt afford a new one. (Note, this was before the automatic unknown caller blocking option) I would get calls 2-3 times a day from either scammers or those “friends” asking me where she was and when i didnt comply they started giving me death threats and showing up at my work, and harassing my girlfriend at the time. Took me 2 years with minimal help from the police to get it to stop since “guys shouldnt feel intimidated, get your stuff together and move on”. My therapist basically said the same thing and notified my parents, breaching confidentiality (still not entirely sure if thats a thing, but i like to believe it is) And my parents beat the s**t out of me for taking it out of the family. To this day i still have massive trust issues, fear of phonecalls and being overly cautious in any situation in public, constantly draining my mental state. Still scared of telling people about it out of fear of being ridiculed but working through it with a different mental health professional tho.
Jesus Christ. Also, yeah, that’s super illegal and your therapist f*****g sucked.
Depends, you can agree for your therapist to share important information with your family. At which point it's not illegal. The question is whether the guy had done that and not realised (or not remembered). I do agree that the advice from the therapist sounds dodgy though. Of course this is something that happened 12 years ago and the guy is paraphrasing, so it's possible the therapist said something different and that's how the guy interpreted it.
Load More Replies...Wow, I don't know who I'm the most angry at in this scenario; I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this. People like that therapist are the reason I'm pursuing counseling as a career, it makes me SO ANGRY to see the damage that bad therapists can do to people who need their help.
I'm so confused about why they wouldn't just change the girl's phone number to get people to stop calling her.
It's a grey area, but if the therapist believed there was a genuine threat to the sister, then they are obliged to act on that information. I know from my own therapy, when talking about how my mom and I would physically fight, and having brothers 20 years younger than me. At least that's how it is in the UK.
Glad you are seeking help from a new professional. Of course you have issues after all of that. Best of luck in getting your much abused head straightened out.
My therapist told me that if somebody was murdered and the victim had a locked phone that the police, or anyone involved in the case for that matter, couldn't go through it. Psychologists aren't the brightest bunch.
Wtf? Oh, yeah, protect your little princess and throw your son to the wolves. What is wrong with these parents?! AND the therapist?!
My husband’s grandmother gave me the recipe to his favorite chocolate chip cookies… it’s the exact same recipe that’s on the bag of nestlé toll house chocolate chips.
"Nesslay Tu Housa"... "You mean Nestle Toll House?!"
Load More Replies...That's because that's the original recipe. Chocolate chip cookies were invented by accident, when a baker add chopped up chocolate instead of cocoa powder, assuming she would get chocolate cookies. After realizing that she did not have chocolate cookies, but that the cookies with chocolate chunks were great, she either sold or gave the recipe to Nestle, because (not 100 percent sure on this) she knew someone who worked there, and had used Nestle chocolate.
Every family has at least one old relative who has a "Secret" recipe. Then, clearing out after they die they find and it is the most basic recipe from a box mix or the Betty Crocker cookbook. EVERY FAMILY! My mom's was her 'famous' Egg Noodles. It was the Betty Crocker basic recipe, she just doubled the recipe and rolled them out thicker. Ta Da!
That's because it *is* the best chocolate chip cookie recipe. It's just a done deal. No need to be cute about it. The best recipe is the one we all use.
I have a recipe that has the exact same ingredients as on the toll house bag but the order of and details of making the cookies is different. The end result is not the same at all - my recipe is way better.
* Over the course of a year and a half, I stole well over a thousand dollars from my mom's alcoholic boyfriend. He got paid under the table in cash, would get drunk, and just leave it in his pants. He paid for my first Stephen King hardcover as well as several metal band concerts.
* My older brother would regularly beat me because he was an a*****e. I took every one of his cassettes, put paper in the notch to record over the tape. On our entertainment center, we had an 8-track record button. If a cassette was playing and you pressed the button, it would record blanks. I randomly did this with all of his music.
* My younger brother lent my bicycle to one of his [addict] friends who promptly sold it. When my brother balked at replacing it, I waited a couple of months, opened up his gas tank and engine to his motorcycle and put in a couple of teaspoons of metal shavings from the school metal shop.
Mom's dead. Boyfriend is too. Have not spoken to my brothers in decades.
Nah, just sounds to me like they're all as bad as each other.
Load More Replies...Honestly, this one sounds like the whole family (poster included) are a******s. There is no justification of the theft from the stepdad beyond "he was alcoholic". If they'd said "he was rough or verbally abusive, or financially controlling" or something I'd have a little more sympathy. But as it stands it's "I stole money from a drunk".
As a kid of alcoholics, if your step- doesn't stop the abuse, they are complicit.
Load More Replies...A very sad family. I hope you have found more friends and family since then.
In the end, like many other things, secrets also have a positive and a negative side. How we’re keeping them, ultimately, is a decision that falls to us and us alone. While we might have many different reasons for doing what we’re doing, it’s wise to consider all the ups and downs. If some negative secret starts to feel like it’s really pulling you down, perhaps it’s time to talk to someone about it, and doing it anonymously online can be a start.
What did you think about these secrets? Do you have any secrets you’re taking to the grave that you wouldn’t mind sharing anonymously? Type away in the comments below!
I fart near couples in the public and watch them blame each other from a distance.
What a terrible thing to do, why have I never thought of it?
I think I was hurt more by being taken by force to funerals of people dear to me, than I was by their death. I emotionally cannot handle a funeral, and because of that funerals make it harder for me to grieve than crying in a corner with someone consoling me.
I feel like going to the funeral isn't for the dead person, or for me (so far). It's for the person they've left behind. So even though some of my Grandparents have died I was going to the funeral to support my parents. It might be different if it was my parent's funeral or my partner's since they're closer and more important.
Every aspect of funerals pisses me off. The expense, the environmental impact, the waste of land in monument to someone that in very short order will just become an oddity for someone to exclaim "oooo they were born in 1983! i Wonder what life was like in those backwards times!" The pageantry of displaying a corpse, so your final memory of a loved one can be....sad, and wrong. All of it is gross. Chuck me naked in an unmarked hole, plant a tree over my meatsack and be done with it.
Nothing wrong with feeling this way. Funerals are more for the living. It's ok to not grieve that way. People grieve differently from one another. I prefer to avoid funerals as well.
I hate funerals. Ever since my father told me I wasn't allowed to cry at my baby brother's funeral when I was 8. I had to be strong for my mother. Well, when I had kids and had the occasion to go to a funeral, I did not force my kids to go. I sincerely believe that the deceased has no feelings about whether or not anyone goes to their funeral. So, why force children or adults even to go. It's horrible and traumatizing. At my mother's funeral, one of my cousins asked where my oldest was and I told her I don't force my kids to do things they don't want to do. She Saud she just didn't want him to regret not going later in life...Not everyone feels the need to be seen grieving.
Interestingly, because the general consensus (where I live) used to be that children shouldn't go to funerals, my dad felt worse about them when he had to attend them later. The first person he knew that died was his younger brother but it wasn't even talked about with him or his other siblings much. He felt he wasn't prepared for anything around death so it's been hard for him to cope with it. It was like the subject of death was taboo (it basically was for children). Even when my brother's funerals were more celebrations of life, he found it hard to handle. I on the other hand was talked to about death and attended many funerals, as well as my brothers and I felt well prepared when coping with people dying.
My mom and I had manually removed the identification chip from our dead dog neck. Its illegal in my country to burry a animal in a forest (wich I really wanted to do since we were in apartment).
Probably something to do with wildlife contamination or not wanting dead animals being dug up by bears (the latter being stupid).
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I do not enjoy anything in life.
That's a very hard, and bad, place to be in. I can offer this, not that it helps: many of us out here have found ourselves in that place, or one very much like it, at some point in our lives. It can happen that over time- it can get better. Best wishes.
If you have the means to do so, please seek help. This sounds like one of the defining traits of depression; it might not seem like it now, but as someone who has been in your shoes, I promise that it can and does get better.
Yikes. It sounds like this person has never enjoyed the complete and unconditional love from a furry friend. I simply cannot imagine life without all the furry creatures I have met. Named and unnamed.
During my days Brigham Young University Idaho I would go out after dark in my homemade ghillie suit to scare the students there. They walk by and Id surprise em with an unexpected movement or word. I got chased by the cops once but I was fast enough to turn the corner of the building lay down in the garden and they kept running. Now that I live in Provo Utah I do the same thing every Halloween at the university here.
"And now for tonight's top story, moron in ghillie suit gets shot & killed by police, after he's believed to be a sniper on campus...film at 11."
Yeah; a little dangerous. The version I like better is a person in a ghillie suit, standing like a dummy outside a Sporting Goods store- very still . People know what this is- and it's a little creepy - then they come up closer - and you m o v e - slowly.. Boy do they jump. But it's a little more clearly intended as "humor" -
That could be funny on Halloween, but that's not cool. Besides being a great way to get yourself shot, it also sounds like a great way to trigger someone with trauma or PTSD.
Oh thatd have me pee me pants then laugh so bad. Im in uk but jorge does have a oint in that guns are carried there. Please be careful
Not everyone is crazy in the USA in fact a tiny tiny tiny percentage are. Yet, the crazy people here are the craziest.
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I absolutely hate my mother and fantasize about spraying pee all over her grave when she finally goes. My pee, from a water bottle which I will have peed in earlier so as not to attract unwanted attention at the cemetery. Also considering bringing a salt shaker to ensure nothing will ever grow there. Did I mention I hate my mother? She’s mean as a snake. I’ll never actually do any of these things, and I’m civil to her for my dad’s sake, but thinking about it is really soothing sometimes…
I am quite sure my mom will never read this so here goes: I am happy that she wants an unmarked grave so that when she finally goes to the other side I will not have to deal with her b***sh1t anymore and I will then hopefully not feel so weighed down by her ever again.
Have had no contact with my mum for over 30 years, she's probably dead by now, hope so would be nice to have a bit of closure
Load More Replies...I will not be going to my mother's funeral because not only did she deny causing me any trauma, her other daughter is an absolute twat and I will probably physically harm her. I was recently in her town to visit my father and he respected my wishes to not tell her. He was her first victim.
Your situation sounds exactly like mine. I'm adopted and my older sister is my parents' bio child. She was the golden child and never even got spanked, whereas I got thrown across the room, had a gun held to my throat at age 7, etc. My dad was physically (and emotionally, and mentally, and verbally) abused by my mother as well (he was a great dad to me and a good guy overall.) My sister likes to tell me that I should spend time with my mom (who is 79) because I'll "regret" it when she's dead. Nope, no I will not. So, I feel you. I hope you have found some peace away from your family.
Load More Replies...That’s okay, I’m just waiting out the time until both my mother and stepfather die. I want zero to do with any of them or that side of my family and I just hope I can get away with organising the cheapest funerals possible. If I could get away with just her put into a hole in the ground I would. I hate that woman
I stood in the doorway of the hospital room where my mother's cruel & abusive husband was flat lining. I made sure the last thing he saw was me grinning & giving him the finger.
When my grandmother (finally) passed away, all I could say to my Mom was, "I'm sorry for your loss". Everyone thought I was really unfeeling. That woman was an absolute bitter old b*tch and I hated her all my life.
That is so sad, as your mum is usually the most important person in your life and also the most loved. My mother turned against me when I was about 12 and took to hating me as much as she hated my father, getting drunk every night and ranting for hours on end about how I was so awful and useless while I was trying to get to sleep, right next door to the kitchen door. No wonder my high school years were a nightmare, on top of many other issues. If only I had AirPods, or equivalent, back then I may be less disturbed now. I loved my mother to bits and cried for days when she died, but I still resent her for how she treated me, as I was NOT the cause of her failed marriage. I also feel sorry for her, as she had no viable way out of the marriage once I had arrived. (This was in the 1950s and 1960s in Australia.)
This one’s pretty dark just fyi. I was deployed to Iraq. We had a hot headed guy who would be a gunner on the humvees and shoot a ton of warning shots when vehicles got close. Like 10x the amount everyone else in our platoon combined. Anyway, I got out on a detail away from my platoon for a couple months. When I got back it was the same ole thing. A few years after we got back I was talking to a friend of mine who was in my platoon over there. Turns out this guy who was the hot head straight up blew a dudes head off in a car in front of him and shot a dude in a bus when he was the passenger. I’m talking they weren’t even near our platoon. He straight up [ended] them. Want the kicker? He’s now a cop in North Carolina.
Grim. This is why the "all volunteer Army" is such a TERRIBLE idea. People who WANT to go kill people are not a good bet for mental stability. Drafted soldiers- who are only here because "the country needs me" - are far better behaved - more honest- and braver too.
That's pretty shortsighted. Plenty of people join the military for reasons other than "I want to go kill people".
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I never got Covid, aka I have no friends.
I have no friends either all of a sudden. Is it possible to form friendships on bored panda?
Load More Replies...i never got it either, but i have plenty of close friends and family. so, i'm not sure of the correlation here.
I never got covid. I also had 5 vaccinations and there is a small sample of studies that show that cigarette smoking went one of two ways for this. I was lucky. I am the only person in my building which happens to be a medical practice to not get it. I am the only person who was smoking cigarettes at that time (now vape). Coincidence? 😋 Bear in mind that the vaccines took a while to be rolled out to me and by then I was already the only one free.
I have friends and I've never gotten Covid. Granted I avoid going out at all costs, but I do socialize occasionally. :)
I have a pretty mild one I'm willing to share. I have a friend who's been single for a very long time. Whenever we talk about girls he pretty much always talks about one girlfriend he had during high school. He keeps talking about that relationship and expanding on the lore and the intricacies of how they had so much passion but life pulled them apart.
What he doesn't know is that I know for a fact that the girl he's referring to did not have a relationship with him. I know at least 3 different people who hooked up with her during the timeline of his alleged relationship and that she later had a relationship with another guy for some years before she moved away. It's not a case of my friend having been cheated on or lied to, he was basically her orbiter at the time and got 2-3 pity hookups but he's twisting reality to make their friendship appear as a relationship. I don't have the heart to tell him that I know he's lying, so I just nod in agreement.
It was a relationship but I suspect it was mostly in his head and he got enough reinforcement from her to stay hooked. You also don’t know what she told him.
Is it your responsibility for his feelings? I do t it. Let him have his memories. Unless they turn to stalking and obsession.
Fantasies are SO much better than the real thing, except they don't exist.
i am into some extremely nsfw stuff. i’ve never told anyone the extent of my fantasies, my current bf gets me closer to blurting some out everyday but there are fantasies of mine that i will take to the grave.
I'd say work on a limit-list which lists everything you possibly could be into and get your BF to do the same and then compare. He might be into the same stuff but reserved like you are and you both could be missing out.
Or... they do that and one or the other goes "OMG that's disgusting, how could you possibly want that" and they never look at each other the same way again during the short time before their inevitable break up. If they're into really kinky stuff it could be a proverbial minefield.
Load More Replies...Play "lottery" where you put a bunch of kinky things in a bowl and pick one. Pretend to write 50% of your own and 50% of stuff you read somewhere. See where it leads :-) Also, if he's the right one for you he'll do it. Unless it's gross, like fluids and stuff. Allow "passes".
Good tip except if he's right for you he'll do it. If the the sexual fantasies are so important to have a fullfilling sexual life, he can be that the relationship won't last. But sometimes, with communication and patience you can find a middle ground that is satisfying for you both, above all if most or all the other aspects of the relationship work well. And it's not fine to expect that your partner tries to enact your fantasies if it's really not their thing or they are uncomfortable with your kinks, whatever the reason. You can test the water in a casual way, you can ask for something milder and if they are fine try with something blunter, but expecting it just because this proves they are right for you it's not, imo, the right mindset to have to build a relationship
Load More Replies...Two things. One, go for a gentle reveal of things, going from more acceptable to less. It's surprising how many people have fantasies and how you can find compromise with them. Two - fantasies don't always live up to the reality. And it's ok to have some private fantasies that turn you on, which in reality would actually be awkward and just not practical.
He might not be into it but he might be good with letting you explore that with another. Either way, good luck :)
I have never told anyone the number of sexual partners I have had, but my wife tried to guess, and the number she guessed was 10% of my real number. I let her think she was right, and she got upset because she said she was intentionally overestimating.
Don't ask what you don't want the answer to. And who can keep up with an exact number? I have an estimate.
I know EXACTLY how many people I've been with. I still have both their phone numbers.
Load More Replies...My wife and I have a total count of 1 each: one another. Dysphoria is the ultimate anti-aphrodisiac, it makes you think you're unworthy of love in ways you would not believe! By the time we'd both gotten on the right path to banish our respective problems with our self-image, we were already together.
My husband and I, married now for 35+ years. We've both had 2; we were married before. Our exes had multiple partners before/after us.
Load More Replies...Thats why people like me are blessed: 0 is a easy number to keep track of
You can only lose at that game. Ignore the past. You're married, stay faithful and go from there.
Why are people so interested in what the net now terms "body count" - tbh, if you've had more experience, they might work in my favour, and me not being that experienced can learn some new things too.
Yeah I don't play this game. My hubby is a sweet introvert, I was...not.
My sister is a complete sl*t. She cheated on her husband on their honeymoon and I know for a fact that there are at least 3 men (other than her husband) who are more likely to be my niece's father. My point? She used to make up stories about my supposed sexual exploits (why - who f*cking does that?). Like, b*tch I have NEVER had a one night stand in my life. I'm a relationship girl and DO NOT have sex with strangers. I actually have some self respect (not judging anyone but her). I have literally only been intimate with 3 men since 1993. I haven't spoken to her for over 2 years, but from what she posts online that's the number of guys she sleeps with in a month.
that i hate my brother. i wish he was never born because he has cast a whole big shadow over my life. he gets everything and i have to fight for even a scrap of attention, its terrible. im just so stuck because im still young and we don't get invited to family events anymore because he would make a fuss, so i practially have no one to go to.
You have BP we’re here for you :) maybe you can try and explain to your parents? maybe then they’ll understand :D
Oh my sweet summer child. That's not how the Golden Child/Scapegoat dynamics work. The parents won't understand because they are the ones who caused the dynamic in the first place.
Load More Replies...Reach out to your extended family. Chances are they miss you and would be willing to spend time with you if you asked, but maybe don't know if it's ok to get in touch not through your parents. I would be extatic to hear from my nieces and nephews.
This is a dysfunctional family. Just remember you are not stuck to them for your entire life.
Is there something wrong with your brother? Like a health issue. I always worry that our oldest feels left out since her brother had several problems. We dropped everything for him if the need arose. I've asked her, now that she's an adult, and she says she understood, even then. But I know she does not like him. We honestly did our best. I'm the youngest of two. My sister was the one that got "everything". My mothers idea of sharing things was the oldest went first, always. The thing is, I love my sister, always have. The things that went on were not because of her actions it was our mother.
I know where the 7-iron really was that day. Doug didn’t leave it on hole 6. I used it to hit a ball back into the driving range and the club slipped out of my hand and landed in a tree. I also used to look at that tree for a good year or so each time we played, praying that you wouldn’t see the sun reflecting off it as you’d know it was me. (My friend’s mum’s golf-set).
This is kinda tame, by comparison. And kind of a jerk move as clubs are really expensive! But then again, if you can afford to go golfing often enough to worry about seeing the club again... probably not a real financial hardship.
I think I'm a narcissist. I don't go around ghosting or manipulating people but my empathy is very selective. Sometimes, I can't cry. Sometimes, I enjoy the pain of those who wronged me. Most times, I really care about how people treat ME and see ME and disregard what I might say to them in the process.
My feelings are so intense. They go from 100% caring to not caring at all. And I don't know how to regulate.
People really need to stop this self diagnosing c**p. You're human. This is just how we behave and feel
No, disagree. Yes, many people get too wrapped up in digging out their "faults" - but this one in particular seems very thoughtful- and it might well be something a professional could help - and ignoring could be trouble.
Load More Replies...And other Personality disorders too. See your gp and get the ball rolling. There is help out there
Load More Replies...The simple fact that you can reflect on your behavior and see that there might be some problems pretty much removes you from the "narcissist" personality disorder. Narcissists care about themselves exclusively and aren't affected by how they treat others.
Very true, I met some in the near past and everything just was about how c*rp his life, how everyone is so stupid but him, everybody else were narcissist to him, and everybody else was to blame for everything expect him. "He was perfect." even he never said this out loud, but made comments similar to it.
Load More Replies...Go get some help. This doesn’t sound like narcissism in my uneducated opinion, but you should still seek professional help if you can’t regulate.
Therapy might really help. Emotional dysregulation often comes after childhood trauma
I have lots of femboy (stuff) but I dress like a lumberjack most days I’ve been told, so I don’t think anyone suspects anything.
LOL!! Monty Python is SO on to you! :-) (and they'd be good company also)
"he's a lumberjack and he's okay he sleeps all night and he works all day..."
Load More Replies...Be yourself!! Why hid? You are a unique human. Have a conversation, be yourself. You are worth more than someone else's opinion.
SO? Just be who YOU want to be! If that is what you call 'femboy' then please be yourself; you are not here to please others! Be true to yourself. Others will love you for who you are.
I have feelings for someone my son looks up to. I could probably tell that person how I feel, but I am not going to. I don't want to make things awkward or embarrass my son.
Feelings are feelings. If it will greatly disrupt your family's life, be cautious. I think there needs to be more information with this post. However, there are ways to bring this up in a tactful manner. Proceed with caution:)
It's ok. My friend had a casual relationship with the father of a son's friend. They kept it private to see where it would go, and had it gotten serious, they would have told the kids. It didn't go anywhere and they broke it off before anyone got hurt.
I stopped loving her when she asked for an open relationship. The fault was mine, for the record, but I should’ve told her then. I was too scared of losing my first real shot at love, than realizing something should have changed then and there, and it would’ve completely changed both of our lives if I had. I’m sorry, to you, and to myself.
I wouldn't worry about it - her asking for open relationship means she's not 100% committed to that one.
I am so sorry :( your preference matters. People are generally wired for monogamy but there are exceptions. It's really not common. Please put your needs and self first.
I’ve intentionally avoided every phone call from my one and only friend lately because I just haven’t felt like talking.
EDIT: I don’t know if this is something I would necessarily take to the grave, but it’s all I could come up with at the moment.
unless you want to lose the only person who's apparently interested in you, how about shooting them a quick text telling them you don't feel like talking and will get back to them later.
Same. I haven't talked to my friends in so long, just because stupid me didn't want to reply to them. I feel like a piece of shît, but for some reason contacting them is getting really hard, even though I love them and they've been nothing but wonderful to me.
You can socialize when you have the capacity to do so. Maybe a text saying you're feeling a bit socially drained would benefit the relationship.
I think they need to understand in themselves why they're avoiding the calls. Is it because the friend is tiresome and demanding? In which case, I kinda get it, but maybe it's time to find new friends? If it's because they don't have the energy to talk to their friend then maybe they should consider whether they actually have depression and do something about that.
I still like her, regardless of how much of an AH she was, I'm not telling anyone tho.
But does she still like you- did she ever or was she just using you? You deserve more.
In weak moments I still feel residual warmth for my former boyfriend, even though he tried to cheat me out of a home and more etc. It happens! Move on. Life is NOW.
Explore more of what you liked about her. If she really was an A** you can separate what you like and didn't. She has faults. Are you willing to put up with it? Is she actually worth it? I suggest being open to looking arou d with someone who has the same qualities but is not an a**.
I don't know why you are getting down voted for this. A lot of people stay in unhealthy relationships like this, so it's good to have differing opinions to help people make better healthier relationships.
Load More Replies...In the early 2000s, I would fix my neighbor's laptop regularly, usually just a tune up or software update from time to time. What he didn't know was that I installed a program that allowed me remote access to everything on the laptop: his vast homemade porno collection, his screen, and even his webcam, which he would conveniently leave open when he's "adding more content" to the aforementioned homemade porno collection. One day, we had a disagreement, and I got so angry, I decided to grab as many videos as I can from the laptop and upload them to a popular adult website that I knew he frequented. It only took a couple days for him to stumble upon one, then another, then a few more of those premium videos. Due to my background and personality, he never suspected me. In fact, he came to me a week later, asking me to check out his laptop because he suspected someone may have gotten access to his important, personal files.
Specify the argument. Also read your post again, you f***er. You invaded his privacy by installing a program to see his computer without his consent (illegal) and why would you even do that and WHY THE F**K WOULD YOU POST HIS PERSONAL VIDEOS FOR THE WORLD TO SEE?? That’s illegal too. You’re a f*****g a********e.
Wow, you're an absolute disgraceful excuse for a human being. I hope that all of your socks and underpants are damp for the rest of your life.
My secret I'll most likely take to the grave: I no longer believe in the religion I was raised in.
I'm curious how many people don't believe in the religion they were raised in but pretend to keep the family happy.
Load More Replies...Oh, deary me. Benjamin Franklin - a fascinating and highly intelligent, if not always wise, man- is credited with this: "Three men CAN keep a secret. IF two of them - are dead." All my own experience aligns. Sharing deep secrets on line?? Going to get back to the ones you don't want it to...
My secret I'll most likely take to the grave: I no longer believe in the religion I was raised in.
I'm curious how many people don't believe in the religion they were raised in but pretend to keep the family happy.
Load More Replies...Oh, deary me. Benjamin Franklin - a fascinating and highly intelligent, if not always wise, man- is credited with this: "Three men CAN keep a secret. IF two of them - are dead." All my own experience aligns. Sharing deep secrets on line?? Going to get back to the ones you don't want it to...
