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Usually, when we think about people objecting during weddings, we think of popular movies or TV shows. Situations like that are so dramatic (and possibly romantic, depending on who you’re rooting for) that it seems like it has to come from a great screenwriter’s imagination.
However, these sorts of objections happen in real-life, too. But they might look very different from what you’ve seen on-screen. Twitter users from all over the world pitched in and spilled the tea about some of the most memorable wedding objections that they’ve ever witnessed, after business owner Sienna asked them to do so.
Sienna, the founder of a lip gloss company called Glosshood, reached a ton of people with the post, and it went viral, netting nearly 302k likes. Scroll down for the best wedding objection stories, upvote the ones that impressed you the most, and don’t forget to tell us all about your own experiences in the comments, Pandas. Just remember, think twice (or even thrice!) before objecting during a wedding yourselves.
Bored Panda got in touch with Anna and Sarah, Team Leaders at The Wedding Society, for a chat about wedding objections, why they fascinate some people, and why they're actually not a good idea in real-life. You'll find our full interview with them below. Remember, just because something looks glamorous on the silver screen doesn't mean that it's what you should do during actual weddings.
More info: Twitter | Glosshood.com
Image credits: ItsJewsie
This post may include affiliate links.
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Anna, from The Wedding Society, told Bored Panda that there isn't such a thing as a real-life wedding objection. "I mean, sure, anyone can stand up mid-ceremony and make an idiot of themselves, but it has no legal bearing on whether the marriage will go ahead or not," she told Bored Panda that someone saying that they object to the union isn't as powerful a gesture as some might think.
"It would simply be a display of emotion from a guest. I guess, the fascination comes from the drama of obstacles when it comes to love," she said.
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René Studer 3 years ago
I assume the twin brother was not at that wedding? Otherwise this would have been cleared up faster.
Bored Panda wanted to understand what someone should do if they notice someone gearing up to interrupt the ceremony and raise objections about the union.
"If a guest is getting geared up to make a scene, there’s really no point," Anna noted that some people simply can't be stopped.
"Plus, it’s incredibly disrespectful to the person or people that the guest claims to care so passionately about. Any uncomfortable chats of concern should have happened well before the moment. So now’s the time to accept the outcome, sit down, keep your hands firmly planted under your butt and enjoy the union," she once again stressed that the ceremony isn't the time to express concerns. It's far too late for that.
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Nimues Child 3 years ago
I notice that a lot of these objections were raised at *first weddings*. I hope they all chose better partners for their second (and hopefully last) weddings.
Previously, wedding experts Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society shared with Bored Panda some other insights about objecting during wedding ceremonies.
Generally speaking, it’s not the best thing to do because it can wreck a lot of things. It might all sound romantic on paper, but when you start thinking about what objecting to a marriage actually means, you start to realize that standing up in public and denouncing the relationship might not be the best approach.
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Claire Nasa 3 years ago
I'm a marriage celebrant and in 27 years I've only ever had one couple request the 'obey' word in their marriage vows. It was one sided though, the groom didn't use 'obey' in his vows.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
I specifically said not to include “Obey” in my vows. Luckily, I married a real man, who totally backed me up on this. He knew I would love him, honor him, and cherish him, but I would NOT obey him. I am not a dog.
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Alexander Neil 3 years ago
I have to physically restrain my 72 yo wife if that line pops up in the ceremony.
Kittymisfit 3 years ago
We specifically asked our wedding officiant NOT to include "obey" in the vows and also that we wanted to be pronounced "HUSBAND and wife" rather than "MAN and wife." It wasn't an issue at all and the officiant was happy to accommodate us. I think some people forget to discuss their wishes with the officiant about the wording because there is so much other stuff to deal with.
NotCoffee 3 years ago
Same. Our officiant just happily nodded and did it.
Load More Replies... LH25 3 years ago
I didn't have "obey" in my vows. Told hubby I wasn't going to stand there and vow something I knew I couldn't do. The pastor doing the wedding was in his 70's and said he hadn't done a wedding with "obey" for years.
Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
The other traditional bit that is not often said these days is "Who gives this woman to be wedded to this man" as if she is the property of anyone but herself.
Load More Replies... Mika N 3 years ago (edited)
Ugh. I'm very much a Christian but we did not have that line in our wedding. The Bible says to Christians to "submit to one another" as in mutually (So I'm egalitarian). If we can read other Scriptures with an understanding of the cultural context (e.g. no one today believes it's wrong to have braided hair, he was telling wealthy Greek women not to flaunt their wealth in church in a way that would make poorer Christians feel unwelcome) we should be able to look at these verses more deeply too and make the effort to see God's heart behind it all.
Mika N 3 years ago
By the way, if anyone is interested in the Biblical theology of egalitarianism, I recommend looking up Marg Mowczko's blog. Excellent, intelligent, and honest articles about women and men's equality before God, and a different look at commonly misapplied passages of Scripture. Worth any Christian's consideration :)
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lenka 3 years ago
My grandad is a minister and he married us on the proviso that we used the traditional christian vows. My grandad is really important to me and I really wanted him to to marry us but I was concerned about the obey part too. When I questioned him he said "You are forgetting he has to respect you. A man who respects his wife would never command her to do anything against her will". That was good enough for me. I have never obeyed my husband because he has never commanded me.
Alicia Kessinger Bader 3 years ago
I attended a wedding a few years ago where the bride read a full page of vows to her groom. He said only that he vowed to love her. He's been a d__k ever since.
Jelena Putinja 3 years ago
I was in the same situation but my father was beside me and he put his hand over my mouth because he saw I will explode and make scene - it was our neighbors wedding/my childhood friend - she is divorced now - maybe I should have exploded that day
John Montgomery 3 years ago
When my late wife and I got married we specifically requested the "submit" line to not be used after cringing that my sister did have it in hers. The pastor agreed, but did say something along the lines of men being stronger or something else just as bad. Apparently the groom is supposed to give the pastor money on the wedding day. I gave him half what I intended after that.
Leslie Burleson 3 years ago
Hands down the best choice you could've made . Your politics don't belong at their wedding . You never know why those vows were said or what they interpreted them as . I've known people who didn't know you could change your vows or ask for certain parts of a traditional vow to be left out . I've known people who didn't think of the vows as anything other than words that everyone who gets married says. You just never know. Also, you'll never teach anyone a lesson by being confrontational. People listen to reason better.
UpupaEpops 3 years ago
It's still wild to me that people get to choose the wording of their vows. In my church the text is standard and you can't change anything about it.
Faith Horler-Clarke 3 years ago
I’d have stood up. Marriage should be an equal bond - it not being so makes me think it isn’t really about pure love
Sandra Givens 3 years ago
That used to be the norm in some Christian churches, especially Episcopal. It was replaced with honor, love and cherish, or a similar term in most congregations starting in the 1920s, the trend accelerating around the time of the 60s women's movement. Diana, Princess of Wales, chose to eliminate it from her vows.
Mark Erwin 3 years ago
This is just one of the cringe-y phrases in Christian vows. I've attended a Christian wedding where the minister asked only the wife if she promises to take care of the household and the children or something like that...
Lazy Panda 3 years ago
My BIL and SIL's wedding was officiated by the minister of my inlaws'' very conservative church. They specifically said they did not want the obey line in the vows, but the minister added it anyway just for the bride.
Lola Rogers 3 years ago
I was at a wedding where the bride said she would obey her husband, and people all around the church were slipping each other incredulous looks. The marriage didn't last, thank goodness.
PebbleBoy Gaming 3 years ago
Ok, obey is a bit weird, both partners need to have respect for each other and listen to each other, but the husband is the ultimate authority, and as long as they don't say to do anything wrong, you should go along with it, you should still be able to input you opinion and reasoning but the final decision is the husband's, only if it's not bad or sinful though. I hope that makes sense.
Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
Why should the husband be the ultimate authority? What's wrong with a partnership of equals who share responsibilities and decision making? I'm not one for the man saying, "I'm responsible for the money and she's responsible for the housework."
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MagNat 3 years ago (edited)
I'm Polish and I literally have never heard anything about obeying in any weddings, lol.
Load More Replies... MagNat 3 years ago
She might have been pressured/brainwashed into thinking it's "appropriate".
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Queen Jackson. 3 years ago
It’s the principal and tells about the future of their marriage idiot.
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Hedgeh og 3 years ago
It's absolutely not "just a phrase" and millions of people take this literally.
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"For anyone thinking of objecting during the ceremony... just don't!! It's never okay to ruin someone's day. All it will do is wreak havoc and draw attention to you—it's selfish and cruel,” wedding experts Anna and Sarah told Bored Panda earlier. There are better ways of expressing your opinion. Ways that don’t put extra pressure on what might actually be a very happy couple.
“If you're genuinely concerned about the union, approach them privately and beforehand with love and respect. If the couple chooses to move forward anyway, respect their decision and do the best you can to support them through their marriage,” the wedding celebrants advised.
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However, the experts noted that wedding objections are far rarer in real-life than we see in movies. They really don’t happen all that often.
"Objections mid-ceremony seem to be very rare these days. If a friend or family member has a real problem with the union, it's unlikely that the couple isn't aware of it beforehand!" they told us.
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If an objection does occur, however, the couple should do their best to respond appropriately. There’s no need for anger. Try your best to understand where the person is coming from (even if they are messing up your happy day). Whether they’re an ex-partner, a concerned family member, or someone riding in on a white horse.
"It's important to know that any objections are usually coming from a place of care and worry for either party to the union. Objections shouldn't be met with anger, hostility, or defense,” the experts stressed that the couple should try and keep their cool.
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#It'sthatonepersonscrolling 3 years ago
I believe the groom was the cousin in this matter. At least, I hope so.
“Instead, it's important to meet them with kindness and love, and where possible, to try and understand where the basis of the objection is coming from,” they said that the couple shouldn’t have to start defending their relationship just because someone’s unhappy with it. It’s not the place nor the time for that.
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Humberto Nieto 3 years ago
At the hands of his child, the one he had with the woman in 1950!!!
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Ellis Tamura 3 years ago
HOW? Did the fiance and him get married? I still have so many questions.
Way back in the 12th century, the Catholic Church introduced the custom of objecting during a wedding ceremony. The entire point of objections was to make sure that the union was legal.
“Grounds for objection included factors like a party already being married to another, pre-existing vows of celibacy or commitment to the church, being underage without parental consent, or close blood relations,” ‘Brides’ magazine explains.
If there were any objections (all given under oath, of course), the claims would be investigated. Meanwhile, the wedding would be suspended. It was all very serious business. A far cry from the objections we see in film plotlines where it’s not the legality of the union, but a person’s feelings that are prioritized, no?
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#29
Glirpy 3 years ago
Just a thought... if you actually knew the person you were getting married to was the actual Anti-Christ, would you still marry them if you were in love with them before finding out? I mean, the Anti-Christ could theoretically give you everything you've ever wanted in life. It's just that, at some point, that person would do questionable things and destroy the world.
Any objections would be given under oath and the officiant would then investigate the situation while the actual wedding was suspended. In short, objections were a very big deal back in the day.
Nowadays, objections tend to be seen more often on the silver screen, in Hollywood movies, than in real life. They’re now less about the legal issues surrounding the marriage and more about one’s personal feelings regarding the union itself.
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Susie Elle 3 years ago
I honestly can't see the humor in crashing someone else's wedding. I understand the desire because "harhar" but please, it's someones special day. Don't ruin it.
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What do you think ?
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
There was this one guy whose dream girl was getting married to some jerk who didn't even love her and was just after her because of her social status, and his friend told him to bust into the wedding when the "does anyone object" part happened. He got there too late, but ran in yelling "I OBJECT!" anyway. It was a big mess, but it all worked out in the end after he confessed his feelings and a dragon ate the groom.
Trillian 3 years ago
My take: If you object to someone getting married you shouldn't wait until the actual vows to tell them. And if you have tried and they didn't listen, no need to mess up the ceremony.
Zero 3 years ago
Exactly. The whole "if anyone object" is seriously outdated & a relic of a bygone era. If there's an actual problem, deal with it beforehand; don't wait for that line. It was intended for back when people lived in smaller communities that might not travel far, and gave a chance for people with select or "secret" knowledge to come forward. For example if the couple were actually related but only Mary knew & wasn't aware they were even a couple until the wedding. Or one of them was already married a few towns over, or wasn't baptized, whatever.
Load More Replies... Daniel Marsh 3 years ago
A marriage is a legal contract. The celebrant, bridesmaid and groom are legal witnesses. (In some religions, including Catholicism, there is a religious wedding separate from a legal wedding.) The question is a legal question, asking if they know of a legal problem with the wedding. No-one is asking if you think the bride is a "s**t," or the groom is a vulgar jerk. The purpose is to determine if anyone knows of prior, unresolved marriages, if the partners are too closely related, etc., and at least formerly, infections, sterility, etc.
madbakes 3 years ago
I've never been to a wedding when they even asked if there were objections. I don't why these people getting married even included it, as the officiant does go over everything with the couple.
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KombatBunni 3 years ago
Really wish someone had stood up and objected at my wedding..thank goodness the marriage only lasted 9 months. Never been married since
Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
My husband is a vicar and when lovey dovey couples came for marriage prep I used to let them into the house saying "Now is the time to think about this, before you commit". Records at that time showed one in every three marriages ended in divorce, proving the old saying, "Marry in haste, repent at leisure."
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Swan 3 years ago
why is this objection thing even a thing? no one but the two weds should have a say about their love
Kylie Mountain 3 years ago
It's a holdover from the literal Medieval Period - it was your final chance to speak up if you knew the bride and groom were secretly half siblings or the groom already had a wife three towns over, since there weren't really government records.
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NugsLunaMochi 3 years ago
Lol reminds me of an ex that didn’t want to tell his sister that he was getting married to the b***h he cheated on me with for fear that I would find out and object (his sister and I were close). Like tf 😂 I’m sorry but I don’t reuse, reduce and recycle trash 😂😂😂
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
There was this one guy whose dream girl was getting married to some jerk who didn't even love her and was just after her because of her social status, and his friend told him to bust into the wedding when the "does anyone object" part happened. He got there too late, but ran in yelling "I OBJECT!" anyway. It was a big mess, but it all worked out in the end after he confessed his feelings and a dragon ate the groom.
Trillian 3 years ago
My take: If you object to someone getting married you shouldn't wait until the actual vows to tell them. And if you have tried and they didn't listen, no need to mess up the ceremony.
Zero 3 years ago
Exactly. The whole "if anyone object" is seriously outdated & a relic of a bygone era. If there's an actual problem, deal with it beforehand; don't wait for that line. It was intended for back when people lived in smaller communities that might not travel far, and gave a chance for people with select or "secret" knowledge to come forward. For example if the couple were actually related but only Mary knew & wasn't aware they were even a couple until the wedding. Or one of them was already married a few towns over, or wasn't baptized, whatever.
Load More Replies... Daniel Marsh 3 years ago
A marriage is a legal contract. The celebrant, bridesmaid and groom are legal witnesses. (In some religions, including Catholicism, there is a religious wedding separate from a legal wedding.) The question is a legal question, asking if they know of a legal problem with the wedding. No-one is asking if you think the bride is a "s**t," or the groom is a vulgar jerk. The purpose is to determine if anyone knows of prior, unresolved marriages, if the partners are too closely related, etc., and at least formerly, infections, sterility, etc.
madbakes 3 years ago
I've never been to a wedding when they even asked if there were objections. I don't why these people getting married even included it, as the officiant does go over everything with the couple.
Load More Replies... KombatBunni 3 years ago
Really wish someone had stood up and objected at my wedding..thank goodness the marriage only lasted 9 months. Never been married since
Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
My husband is a vicar and when lovey dovey couples came for marriage prep I used to let them into the house saying "Now is the time to think about this, before you commit". Records at that time showed one in every three marriages ended in divorce, proving the old saying, "Marry in haste, repent at leisure."
Load More Replies... Swan 3 years ago
why is this objection thing even a thing? no one but the two weds should have a say about their love
Kylie Mountain 3 years ago
It's a holdover from the literal Medieval Period - it was your final chance to speak up if you knew the bride and groom were secretly half siblings or the groom already had a wife three towns over, since there weren't really government records.
Load More Replies... NugsLunaMochi 3 years ago
Lol reminds me of an ex that didn’t want to tell his sister that he was getting married to the b***h he cheated on me with for fear that I would find out and object (his sister and I were close). Like tf 😂 I’m sorry but I don’t reuse, reduce and recycle trash 😂😂😂
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