A little over a year ago I published a series of satirical illustrations on Bored Panda. The series, titled #ThingsThatiHear, depicts our modern life, the struggles of adulting, and the hell that is online dating.
The great reactions I got here were very inspiring, and now I collected all of them plus many new cartoon drawings into one big book which is now available on Kickstarter.
I am happy to share some new ones with you!
More info: kickstarter.com | Instagram
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"My friends keep telling me I'm always busy which makes me realize I lie a lot."
I always collect creative ideas for new illustrations and document them on my phone. There I have a long list of notes where I write interesting quotes or overheard conversations down. When I think about inspiration, there was a moment earlier when I got really obsessed with finding good material. Everything I heard had the potential to become a colorful drawing, but I quickly realized that I couldn't really force this and it just had to come to me naturally. The one thing important to me was to take the time to leave the studio, walk around the city, hang out with friends, and live my life. It was necessary to be around people.
"Once I get to know them, I hate most people."
Most people are jerks. Get a dog or a cat! They are also jerks, but they still like you.
*tries to ignore the fact that you just called my two best friends names*
Load More Replies..."How was your date?" "There should be a yelp for people."
Ask the Chinese, they are just implementing that. (Whoever finds severe sarcasm is free to keep it.)
I thought they already implemented the social ratings??
Load More Replies...There are always phrases and funny conversations that I note down but decide not to make illustrations of. Why? Well. I hear a lot of funny things and every once in a while I'll organize and look at them as a whole. Some are just too random, or too anecdotal. After doing this for a while I found some themes that I feel are relatable and universal enough (dating, adulting, social media, etc...) I try to pick the quotes that are not simply weird or funny, but also say something about our culture and way of living.
"I'm wearing neon underwear today and I feel like a superhero."
Oh God though do NOT wear it with black leggings - just a tip from someone experienced in superhero-ing.
Load More Replies..."I haven't been dating much lately, but I've been very botanically active."
Botanically active could mean "Botanically active.." which stands for cannabis smoker....
Even though I have never been caught for eavesdropping on a conversation, there were a few times when someone noticed that I was sketching them in a cafe or on the train. That is always an uncomfortable moment. Even so, I like getting quotes from "strangers in the wild", but inevitably, things will come up in conversations with friends, and those things are usually just too good. My friends all know this is something I do, and sometimes after saying something funny, they will immediately follow with "oh, here's a new drawing idea for you".
"Where's Deb?!" "She's at home... Sober with her cat."
Emphasis on Sober! Maybe she's tired of dealing with intoxicated people....
"Ughhh... Do we have to go out and be all social?"
No. Stay home. There are cats that like you more than some people out there...
One of the funniest phrases was the one that I have heard from my friend who is really into plants. The phrase was: "I haven't been dating much lately but I've been botanically active". I thought it was so on point and made me laugh out loud.
"Growing up is really anticlimactic."
"I need a do not disturb sign for my life."
It's called "turning off the phone and laptop". I do it every day for a few hours and at least one full weekend per month.
It's called "close the laptop and shut off your phone." Christ almighty.
Just close the laptop, turn off the phone and, voila! You will not be disturbed.
An illustration usually takes between a few hours for a simple one to a few days for more complex and detailed scenes. Since I do this after work in my free time, it's rare I can complete one in one sitting. I've been drawing since I can remember myself, from a very young age. I always knew it's something I wanted to pursue as a career. I've been working professionally in the animation industry for about 10 years now.
"I've met a lot of slimy frogs in this town but still haven't found my prince charming."
Hans, you're killing me over here!! Lovin' the puns.
Load More Replies...Anyone else notice that it says 'TINDERLAND' instead of the famous Hollywood sign? Also there is a billboard that is beginning to say #single. Lmfaooooo 😂
You mean the big white writing in the back that's hard to miss? No, I hadn't noticed.
Load More Replies...The frog in the sewer and the dragon and the helicopter Lol
This is why I stay single, it´s not just that some girls are rude, but I am irresponsible lol.
"Her son's kindergarten costs $25K a year. That's a lot of shoes!!!"
$25k?!? I am so glad to live in a part of the world where it is paid by taxes, I pay about $1K a year for two kids! (Sweden)
That women with the stroller must be really regretting buying that drink after she heard that
estimated cost of raising a child from birth through age 17 is $233,610, or as much as almost $14,000 annually. That's the average for a middle-income couple with two children. It's a bit more expensive in urban parts of the country, & less so in rural areas. Do the math people
So, basically the kid is getting university tuition for Kinder? Priority check time people
I remember hearing the most bizarre thing while waiting in the Apple store. A woman with really heavy makeup was looking at the iPhone and with all the seriousness she asked the sales person if the phone's face recognition will recognize her when she's not wearing her make up. It was too much, even for LA.
"We realized he's not a picky eater he just doesn't like your food."
My ex mil thought I was a really picky eater. I used to stop at McDonald's before going to her house for dinner because her cooking was so awful.
"Lately I've been going to bed at 9:30 SO lame, I know but I LOOOVE IT."
I never go to bed at 9:30 even if I could. And then the next day I crawl out of bed thinking: Man, I shoulda slept at 9:30 last night...
Back than I tought those who sleep at home on saturday nights has no life. Now I konow they are the ones who actually have.
It's currently 2:30am where I am. I should have been asleep hours ago, but I'm just not tired enough. I'd like to do a 9-5 though. That's sleeping from 9:00am to 5:00am, for clarification. Sleep rules.
I go to bed at 9 every night. Getting up at 4am for work is rough!
"You'd think that living 2000 miles away from home would prevent me from going to my parents house to do laundry."
Time for someone to teach him how to do laundry. My daughter and son have learned at the age of 9
I think the person who said that in real life was just kidding.
Load More Replies...I only allow my wife to do my laundry... If she is not in a position, I'll do them myself... They are precious to me and I have to take care of them like I do my body.
You would think...My sister's big pink suitcase comes to mind. It travelled all the way across the Atlantic from her college to where my dad lived in Norway.
I dare my kid to try come back and have ME do HIS laundry, ROFL ! :-D
"My New Year's resolution was to block at least one person per day and I'm killing it."
Think Facebook "friends" who only only want to, for example, recruit you for their MLM. Or are just annoying in general.
Load More Replies..."Man... This would be an awesome pic for my Tinder, but I just started seeing someone."
Nah, when you date on line for a long time you get use to trying to market yourself.
Load More Replies..."I hate it that I care so much, cause I shouldn't."
Not me. I live with my apathy. My parents say I need a girlfriend, but what do I care?
"I've always wanted a Christmas tree but my mom is not on board with me being religiously fluid."
Why is the woman drawn to look like a humanised pig? And why the Hanukkah sweater and a Christmas tree. " different religions there.
Different religions, yes Nicky that’ll be why his Mum didn’t let him have a Christmas tree 🤦🏻♀️
Load More Replies..."Man... All my Facebook memories are really traumatic."
Yes it is. A lot of pot smoking in these drawings.
Load More Replies...Facebook is the best contact saver I found. People often change everything, but never Facebook. It's great to have it and add people you meet or companies you want to have their "business card" and you don't need to be active at all. Have B . P to keep me active instead. 😅 And make sure to have a different name (my is my single name), to avoid stalkers or the annoying person you don't want sending you requests.
So true. I don't miss social media at all. Last straw was a reminder of how, 8 years earlier, I had just found out about my ex's other girlfriend.
"Sooo...? He seeemed... Faaairlyyy normal? He's really into origami."
This must be another code word for a weird fetish I do not want to know about.
So does the origami make him normal or is it the cause of the 'faaairly'? Ps: wish i had the skills and patience for origami
"But will it recognize me without my makeup?"
This is a serious problem in facial recognition. Remember the brides from the posting the other day? They would surely not pass automated imigration doors.
Yeah, they look completely different without makeup.
Load More Replies...I always hated my passport and travel visa photographs, until somebody said that actually that is exactly how I look when I’ve been in transit for 40 hours and crossed three time zones. Point taken.
I have the problem if my hair is up, my phone will not unlock. The struggle is real.
"My mom's fortune teller told her my boyfriend is not the one." "My mom's been saying that about every boyfriend I had since I was 18."
"He's nothing without his Instagram."
"I'm so happy we finally got some one on one time."
This actually really upsets me for that person. Please just be present.
For f*** sake, put the phone away and be with the person in front of you. The others really can wait.
It is when she still can't seem to put her phone away and keeps texting under the table.
Load More Replies...Relatable Dang "Social" Networks (Staring at you sh***y "Share on Fakebook" hovering over by Softkeyboard)
"Oh, I only drink coconut milk eggnog."
You have a wicked sense of humour Hans and a witty turn of phrase. Sometimes my husband and I like your comments more than the original post.
Load More Replies...lol that is called Coquito and it is absolutely amazing. Thank you Puerto Rico!
"Emergency! Delete the post about Branden."
"Seeing him I'm thinking - OMG... I should go home and shave my mustache."
Same mustache no, but same ripped jeans that actually costs 2.500 euros, is a totally yes. 🤔
"YEAH?!..." "Trust me hun I've seen your underwear."
"We both swiped right. It was love @ first sight."
The cat or the people? The cat swiped right on the people and they fell instantly in love and the cat adopted the people.
Love that hey had to put her underwear hanging out of her yoga pants. Seriously, is this necessary.
so many catfisher online though... im 28, hopeless to get a partner for life :'( im tired of using dating apps for 6 years laready *sigh*
"I had cold nachos for dinner last night." "I saw. You're disgusting."
Put down the phones and talk to each other. My niece posts tons of pictures of her baby on FB, then apologizes because she hasn't sent many because she was "living in the moment" HAHA
What a bunch of superficial, shallow, spoiled, 1st world problem having whiners!
I like these, however, those noses he drew really bother me. Also, why did he caption cartoons that already had the same dialogue?
The way he draws the noses are just part of the drawing style :) I personally think it fits and is quite cute! Possibly he has captioned them just in case someone has trouble reading the words on the drawing, it doesn't really matter though really.
Load More Replies...I like these, however, those noses he drew really bother me. Also, why did he caption cartoons that already had the same dialogue?
The way he draws the noses are just part of the drawing style :) I personally think it fits and is quite cute! Possibly he has captioned them just in case someone has trouble reading the words on the drawing, it doesn't really matter though really.
Load More Replies...
