“Why Would I Wake Up Early Just To Wake Him Up?”: Woman Is Not Invited To Husband’s Family Christmas, Doesn’t Wake Him Up For His Flight
The situation when a person wakes up late and misses something – their plane flight, an important meeting or a date – is not uncommon in world culture. Especially at Christmas. Suffice it to say that this is the plot of perhaps the greatest Christmas movie of all time. Yes, we are talking about Home Alone, but in the story that we want to tell you today, everything is far from being so amusing.
In fact, not all Christmas tales actually have a happy ending, and that very special magic of Christmas sometimes, for some reason, does not work at all, and then family drama ensues, entitled relatives insult each other, and only Santa really knows how to deal with it all.
For example, quite recently, a post with this story from the user u/Age_Philosophy3776 appeared in the AITA Reddit community, and has gained more than 8.7K ups and almost 2K comments in a very short time. A story that Hollywood will someday make a movie on (if Netflix doesn’t catch up with its series earlier), and for now we’ll try to figure it out in more detail.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is married to a man who was raised by his mom and three sisters and was a bit spoiled
Image credits: Lisa Fotios (not the actual image)
So, the author of the post has been married for several years, and her husband, as she herself says, is the only son in his family, where he was brought up by his mother and three sisters. It’s no surprise, the Original Poster continues, that the man grew up quite spoiled – suffice it to say that in his family, he is commonly referred to as “the heir” and generally praised as if he were a crowned person.
Image credits: u/AGe_Philosophy3776
The relatives often used to blame the author for ‘lack of respect’ toward her husband
At first, the wife perceived all this as just cute eccentricities, especially since her husband’s mother herself and his sisters called this attitude simply “showing love and appreciation.” But then the in-laws began to blame her for “insufficient respect” towards her own spouse, and the husband himself periodically wanted something more than just a good attitude.
Image credits: u/AGe_Philosophy3776
The in-laws literally cut ties with the wife, though her spouse kept attending their gatherings
A series of quarrels followed with her husband’s relatives – and it all ended with the fact that they actually cut ties with the OP and generally stopped inviting her to various family events. Considering that the author’s husband continued to attend these gatherings, one can fully understand his wife’s feelings. Anybody but the hubby himself… But what could she do in this situation?
Image credits: Jamie Street (not the actual image)
This Christmas the man decided to fly to visit his relatives, leaving his wife home alone
Everything changed at Christmas, when the OP’s husband was going to fly to visit his relatives for another family gathering, leaving his wife at home. On the night before the flight, the man, as always, put his phone away (according to the OP, he does not like to sleep next to the electronics turned on), and it so happened that he overslept. By the way, his wife overslept too.
Image credits: u/AGe_Philosophy3776
The man overslept and missed his flight but then just blamed his wife for not waking him up early
The couple woke up quite late, the husband rushed headlong to the airport, trying to buy a ticket for another flight – but on Christmas day, this was completely unrealistic. Then the man returned home in a frustrated mood – and could not find anything better to do than throw a tantrum at his own wife for not waking him up early!
Image credits: u/AGe_Philosophy3776
All of OP’s completely logical arguments that she was absolutely not obliged to do this, and indeed the husband did not even ask her to wake him up, were discarded. The man accused his wife of ruining his holiday, and later his mother and sisters joined him in those accusations. They called the OP ‘petty and vicious’, claiming that she supposedly did this deliberately to get back at them and to isolate him from his family.
Image credits: Daniel Kist (not the actual image)
However, people in the comments sided with the woman unanimously, dubbing her husband selfish and thoughtless
It just so happens that the only people who actually supported the Original Poster were the commenters who unanimously sided with her. According to people in the comments, she is not a human alarm clock for a guy in his mid-thirties. Commenters are also convinced that the husband treats the OP terribly, so he should maybe get two cards: one for a marriage counselor and the second for a divorce lawyer, and could pick who he’d like her to call.
Most commenters are convinced that a husband should celebrate Christmas with his wife, and not with his sisters and mom. If he wanted to see them for the holiday so desperately, then this was his own responsibility – not to sleep through the morning flight. According to people in the comments, the OP’s husband is selfish for leaving her on Christmas and doesn’t actually have a backbone to defend her to his relatives because he likes them fussing over him.
By the way, if you want some more weird Christmas stories, you can check out our post about the wife who got mad at her spouse for taking a nap on Christmas morning instead of spending time with her. Or, for example, about this ‘guestzilla’ who threw a real tantrum after finding a box of tampons in the bathroom of the Christmas party hosts. And of course, we’re also looking forward to your comments on this particular tale.
Wait? He expects her to wake up before him in order to ensure he gets somewhere on time?! Which century is this in? If we were talking feudal Japan it would at least give him an excuse for not having a functional alarm clock.
He probably wanted breakfast and while he's eating she can pack his suitcase. Blehg.
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Divorce already the guy is a narcissist thanks to his family. She will come last everytime and ffs don't have children. You think it is a nightmare now add a child to it and watch the s**t storm.
Not liking "sleeping near electronics" sounds like an excuse, honestly. And even if it is actually true, he does realize that mechanical alarm clocks have been a thing since 1787, right? Expecting his wife, who isn't even invited to the Christmas celebration and that he refuses to stick up for, to wake him up... ridiculous. I'm pretty doubtful that marriage counselling would save that marriage. OP needs to run far, and run fast. Little prince can go and live with his sisters and his mommy since they treat him so well.
Today I learned how long mechanical alarm clocks have been around! And I highly agree!
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NTA, he sounds like a manbaby and honestly I'd just be rid of him. If it were possible to sell a home so quick, I'd sell your home and move somewhere else, leave him a note that says "sorry prince ___, the princess is in another castle" and then cut all contact. >.>
Seriously?? He’s a big boy, FFS. He’s more than capable of setting an alarm for himself to wake at the right time, if he really wants to leave. Why should she be responsible for waking “His Lordship” whenever he needs to do something, especially if she isn’t going to be involved? Serves his a$$ just right! Honestly, though? She might want to consider divorcing this A-hole, if he doesn’t even consider her as “family” & allows the rest of his relatives to say all sorts about her! My advice; run away as fast as possible & don’t even let him know where you’re starting a new life, because he & his oh-so-precious “family” are toxic AF, which you definitely don’t need in your life! 🤨🤷♀️
I agree with you, but my question is...If she does run away, how long will it take him to even notice?
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OP should get rid of this man child. He's not mature enough to be in a marriage. Let him go back to his mama.
Whether the marriage survives or not she should get him a belated Christmas gift - an old school wind up alarm clock. Not her responsibility to wake him up anymore than his to wake her.
Out of context and topic here, but the UK celebrated the arrival of 2023 17 minutes ago. Let us hope 2023 is reasonably less sh*tty than the last three years, and here's best to you, fellow pandas, whatever your time zone.
For a marriage to work the spouse has to put their significant other above their family. The husband or wife takes priority and is defended above anyone else, including parents. It isnt “all these people are equal in my life”. If that’s the case the marriage will eventually fail. I learned that in the beginning of my marriage, I was making the whole thing a democracy and not defending my wife against pushy and narcissistic relatives. Caused a lot of damaged but thankfully I wised up and cut those relatives completely out of my life and put her above any remaining people in my life.
Who marries a guy knowing he is going to expect to continue to be waited on, as he has become accustomed to?
I noticed OP mentioned that he asked her to wake him up. I wonder how she responded to that. If she agreed to wake him up and then didn't, that's pretty s****y. Although this waking up on time incident is not the real issue. OP is not "family" to her husband. That's f'ed up. He's got his priorities backwards.
Ah the classic toxic family (or MIL) and their narc sons. It will NEVER be his fault regardless of the situation. He says he's staying out of it but CLEARLY taking their side by saying they shouldn't have to invite his wife. That's taking their side. Leaving your wife alone for Christmas so you can be pampered like a spoilt child is pathetic. RUN OP RUN!!! nobody needs a manchild especially a narcissistic brat with toxic family. Divorce this motherf●cker ASAP and be glad you don't have kids with the AH.
OP is YTA from one point of view. Why did she marry an oversized, spoiled infant with a hostile family background? If he doesn't respect her and doesn't consider her a part of his life, why is she with him?
The icing on the cake would have been for the OP to leave him alone for the day while she visited with her family... or not... just leave him all alone in his wet diaper all day.
Horrible to choose between family but a man like this will be married a few times in his life as his mum and sisters will always stick their noses in and ruin his marriages. He won't see it like that. Once you put those rings on, that's your new family. She should leave him, it won't get better.
I would've laughed my a*s off while he was running around like a chicken missing a head. I like the idea of 2 business cards too because this isn't a one off, he is treating his wife as second class, literally choosing his family over her. He's not in the relationship 100% and he isn't going to have a successful one without time traveling to an earlier time period
I would have awakened him and taken him to the airport and then spent the rest of his xmas holiday moving him out. I would have extended his stay with hims mommy by several more days knowing he would probably have a hard time finding a flight home. OR I would have sent the divorce papers ahead of him to hims mommy’s house. But mostly I would follow my lawyer’s advice.
YTA( kinda) You get what you settle for OP. It's unlikely Mr No-Nuts will assume ANY real responsibility for himself & mommie & sissies aren't likely to change either. Pack your parachute & BAIL- unless of course you want to run an adult day care & be compensated w/ abuse. Wake up..
Men must have forgotten that once they're married, the wife is now the first family. Parents and siblings are second.
I got Covid on Christmas and couldn't spend my Christmas with my partner and his family and it was unfortunate- what made it better was them calling and trying to come over to sing carols outside to make sure I knew I was missed and loved. I couldn't imagine my own partner yelling at me or leaving me out of Christmas with his family- after abusive relationships it's almost scary how nice it is to not worry about being treated badly. Divorce that POS, and don't settle for another A**hole.
Cats are better than alarm clocks. They know when you're supposed to be up and feeding them, so they will make *absolutely certain* that you're never late. Whatever it takes, they WILL wake you up to feed them.
He's a man not a child, can wake himself up. Of course he's gonna tell her to stay out of it, he likes all the loot he gets from them.
Holy c**p! If the husband an his family thinks what the wife did was petty an vicious then what do they call how they treat her? She did nothing wrong. She wasn't invited an he don't want to get involved in that bull c**p. Ok great don't get involved an neither will your wife when it comes to his family. I'd start going to my family functions with out him. If she is not allowed to his families gathering he shouldn't be taken to hers. Better yet why would you marry a man that let's his family treat you like this?
Plain and simple , 1. he should stand up to his mom and sisters about disrespect to you 2 . He should tell them that yall are married and both go to gatherings if they don't want you there , then he shouldn't be going either .. But he hasn't so 1st you are not his alarm 2 , hes use to being a king in thier eyes .. 3. YOU NEED TO DIVORCE .. 4. GET WHAT YOU NEED FROM THE DIVORCE , BECAUSE HES NOT GOING TO CHANCE 5.. GO GET A DEGREE AND A GOOD PAYONG JOB , TO BE INDEPENDENT, SO ONE DAY YOULL GET THE MAN GOD HAS INSTORE FOR YOU ...
Lady, whatever you do, DON'T have children with this man. Better yet, if you want children, divorce this jerk and find a man who appreciates you, will stand up against his family for you if he has to. This baby you're married to makes a lousy husband, and he'll make an even lousier father. Believe me I know. My ex was raised the same way.
He doesn’t want to sleep near electronics. He really means electronics on his side of the bed. Apparently the electronics on her side of the bed are far enough away. She didn’t wake him up. It’s his flight, not hers. He’s on his own for that one. Since when is his wife not his “family”? He obviously doesn’t care how his family feels about her. Was much of this not apparent before the marriage? Does what they say to you about how they feel match how they treat you? If they tell you they love you but do not treat you with respect, try to control you, belittle you, treat you like a servant, everything is your fault and you spend a lot of your time crying it’s time to face reality. Leave. I hear the excuse “But I love him”. He obviously doesn’t love you. He never will. Stop wasting your emotional health, your time, your life. It’s better for you to be on your own (this is not the same thing as being alone). Figure you out, what you want and what you expect and not settle for anything else.
Should have spent the holidays with a divorce lawyer. Ditch this momma's boy. This person deserves better than playing "maid" to this pitiful prince.
NTA....yet. This relationship is very unhealthy for OP. If some boundries and respect aren't established asap she will be AH.
I just don't understand why He married her? If he's used to (and is comfortable) with the treatment he gets from his family, why would He married woman who won't provider it? From the other side, if He married her BECAUSE she's not like his family (which doesn't seem like the case), then why would He be upset at her about this??? I just can't see what He expected the marriage to be like, when He proposed... The same goes for her, of course, why the f**k would She be with someone like him????
I would not have gotten up early for him either to wake him up especially since he thinks its ok for his family to treat you like garbage. Divorce time .
I personally think it's hilarious that he missed his flight and 5 ppl, who are a******s, got their X-mas ruined.
Ahh, the day I was finally able summon up the courage (and wit) to say to my *former* MIL after years of abuse: "Tell ya what, then, you take your baby, and I'll take mine."
Obviously, he's not person you wanna be married to and his family sound like the in-laws from hell. But... did she ever tell him she wasn't going to wake him ? Or did she just passive-agressively decide not to set the clock ? (since it sounds as if she's usually the morning alarm for him) 'Cause if it's the second case, then (IMHO) they deserve each other.
I like the give him 2 cards response. My husband had parents that wanted him home out of the service and home.it was my fault that didn’t happen. After a disastrous trip home with the kids I sent him home and the kids and I stayed home. He got to see his family in the summer every 2 or 3 years and I did t have to be insulted and rejected . To me it was a Win Win
I guess it would depend on a few things. She says he asked her to wake him up? Did she tell him yes she would. If yes then she ITA. But the bigger picture is is she's willing to spend every Christmas alone etc.? Seems as if she didn't wake him up to get even with him. If that's what the relationship is it'll only get worse from there.
Wife not invited for Christmas? I hope she dumps him and finds someone normal.
Wife not invited? I hope she ends that marriage and finds someone normal.
Excuse me? Wake HIM up? Like bro even your phone has an alarm clock. Also, way to stand up for your lady. I hope he becomes more independent. No woman wants to stay with an adult baby.
Not sure I would have even married someone like that to begin with. It's one thing to be special to your family, but another to be completely spoiled to the point where potential spouses need to treat you the same way. This woman wanted a partner, not a spoiled man-child. If he can't grow the hec up and get himself out of bed that's on him..... Divorce sounds like a good idea here.
What is going to happen when you have children? Will you still NOT be invited, but they get to go with Daddy? They will be as spoiled as he is, especially if you have a boy. Hopefully you don't have children now. Go for counseling, if he won't go with you, then go by yourself. This is NOT a stable relashionship, and never will be.
Wait? He expects her to wake up before him in order to ensure he gets somewhere on time?! Which century is this in? If we were talking feudal Japan it would at least give him an excuse for not having a functional alarm clock.
He probably wanted breakfast and while he's eating she can pack his suitcase. Blehg.
Load More Replies... Divorce already the guy is a narcissist thanks to his family. She will come last everytime and ffs don't have children. You think it is a nightmare now add a child to it and watch the s**t storm.
Not liking "sleeping near electronics" sounds like an excuse, honestly. And even if it is actually true, he does realize that mechanical alarm clocks have been a thing since 1787, right? Expecting his wife, who isn't even invited to the Christmas celebration and that he refuses to stick up for, to wake him up... ridiculous. I'm pretty doubtful that marriage counselling would save that marriage. OP needs to run far, and run fast. Little prince can go and live with his sisters and his mommy since they treat him so well.
Today I learned how long mechanical alarm clocks have been around! And I highly agree!
Load More Replies... NTA, he sounds like a manbaby and honestly I'd just be rid of him. If it were possible to sell a home so quick, I'd sell your home and move somewhere else, leave him a note that says "sorry prince ___, the princess is in another castle" and then cut all contact. >.>
Seriously?? He’s a big boy, FFS. He’s more than capable of setting an alarm for himself to wake at the right time, if he really wants to leave. Why should she be responsible for waking “His Lordship” whenever he needs to do something, especially if she isn’t going to be involved? Serves his a$$ just right! Honestly, though? She might want to consider divorcing this A-hole, if he doesn’t even consider her as “family” & allows the rest of his relatives to say all sorts about her! My advice; run away as fast as possible & don’t even let him know where you’re starting a new life, because he & his oh-so-precious “family” are toxic AF, which you definitely don’t need in your life! 🤨🤷♀️
I agree with you, but my question is...If she does run away, how long will it take him to even notice?
Load More Replies... OP should get rid of this man child. He's not mature enough to be in a marriage. Let him go back to his mama.
Whether the marriage survives or not she should get him a belated Christmas gift - an old school wind up alarm clock. Not her responsibility to wake him up anymore than his to wake her.
Out of context and topic here, but the UK celebrated the arrival of 2023 17 minutes ago. Let us hope 2023 is reasonably less sh*tty than the last three years, and here's best to you, fellow pandas, whatever your time zone.
For a marriage to work the spouse has to put their significant other above their family. The husband or wife takes priority and is defended above anyone else, including parents. It isnt “all these people are equal in my life”. If that’s the case the marriage will eventually fail. I learned that in the beginning of my marriage, I was making the whole thing a democracy and not defending my wife against pushy and narcissistic relatives. Caused a lot of damaged but thankfully I wised up and cut those relatives completely out of my life and put her above any remaining people in my life.
Who marries a guy knowing he is going to expect to continue to be waited on, as he has become accustomed to?
I noticed OP mentioned that he asked her to wake him up. I wonder how she responded to that. If she agreed to wake him up and then didn't, that's pretty s****y. Although this waking up on time incident is not the real issue. OP is not "family" to her husband. That's f'ed up. He's got his priorities backwards.
Ah the classic toxic family (or MIL) and their narc sons. It will NEVER be his fault regardless of the situation. He says he's staying out of it but CLEARLY taking their side by saying they shouldn't have to invite his wife. That's taking their side. Leaving your wife alone for Christmas so you can be pampered like a spoilt child is pathetic. RUN OP RUN!!! nobody needs a manchild especially a narcissistic brat with toxic family. Divorce this motherf●cker ASAP and be glad you don't have kids with the AH.
OP is YTA from one point of view. Why did she marry an oversized, spoiled infant with a hostile family background? If he doesn't respect her and doesn't consider her a part of his life, why is she with him?
The icing on the cake would have been for the OP to leave him alone for the day while she visited with her family... or not... just leave him all alone in his wet diaper all day.
Horrible to choose between family but a man like this will be married a few times in his life as his mum and sisters will always stick their noses in and ruin his marriages. He won't see it like that. Once you put those rings on, that's your new family. She should leave him, it won't get better.
I would've laughed my a*s off while he was running around like a chicken missing a head. I like the idea of 2 business cards too because this isn't a one off, he is treating his wife as second class, literally choosing his family over her. He's not in the relationship 100% and he isn't going to have a successful one without time traveling to an earlier time period
I would have awakened him and taken him to the airport and then spent the rest of his xmas holiday moving him out. I would have extended his stay with hims mommy by several more days knowing he would probably have a hard time finding a flight home. OR I would have sent the divorce papers ahead of him to hims mommy’s house. But mostly I would follow my lawyer’s advice.
YTA( kinda) You get what you settle for OP. It's unlikely Mr No-Nuts will assume ANY real responsibility for himself & mommie & sissies aren't likely to change either. Pack your parachute & BAIL- unless of course you want to run an adult day care & be compensated w/ abuse. Wake up..
Men must have forgotten that once they're married, the wife is now the first family. Parents and siblings are second.
I got Covid on Christmas and couldn't spend my Christmas with my partner and his family and it was unfortunate- what made it better was them calling and trying to come over to sing carols outside to make sure I knew I was missed and loved. I couldn't imagine my own partner yelling at me or leaving me out of Christmas with his family- after abusive relationships it's almost scary how nice it is to not worry about being treated badly. Divorce that POS, and don't settle for another A**hole.
Cats are better than alarm clocks. They know when you're supposed to be up and feeding them, so they will make *absolutely certain* that you're never late. Whatever it takes, they WILL wake you up to feed them.
He's a man not a child, can wake himself up. Of course he's gonna tell her to stay out of it, he likes all the loot he gets from them.
Holy c**p! If the husband an his family thinks what the wife did was petty an vicious then what do they call how they treat her? She did nothing wrong. She wasn't invited an he don't want to get involved in that bull c**p. Ok great don't get involved an neither will your wife when it comes to his family. I'd start going to my family functions with out him. If she is not allowed to his families gathering he shouldn't be taken to hers. Better yet why would you marry a man that let's his family treat you like this?
Plain and simple , 1. he should stand up to his mom and sisters about disrespect to you 2 . He should tell them that yall are married and both go to gatherings if they don't want you there , then he shouldn't be going either .. But he hasn't so 1st you are not his alarm 2 , hes use to being a king in thier eyes .. 3. YOU NEED TO DIVORCE .. 4. GET WHAT YOU NEED FROM THE DIVORCE , BECAUSE HES NOT GOING TO CHANCE 5.. GO GET A DEGREE AND A GOOD PAYONG JOB , TO BE INDEPENDENT, SO ONE DAY YOULL GET THE MAN GOD HAS INSTORE FOR YOU ...
Lady, whatever you do, DON'T have children with this man. Better yet, if you want children, divorce this jerk and find a man who appreciates you, will stand up against his family for you if he has to. This baby you're married to makes a lousy husband, and he'll make an even lousier father. Believe me I know. My ex was raised the same way.
He doesn’t want to sleep near electronics. He really means electronics on his side of the bed. Apparently the electronics on her side of the bed are far enough away. She didn’t wake him up. It’s his flight, not hers. He’s on his own for that one. Since when is his wife not his “family”? He obviously doesn’t care how his family feels about her. Was much of this not apparent before the marriage? Does what they say to you about how they feel match how they treat you? If they tell you they love you but do not treat you with respect, try to control you, belittle you, treat you like a servant, everything is your fault and you spend a lot of your time crying it’s time to face reality. Leave. I hear the excuse “But I love him”. He obviously doesn’t love you. He never will. Stop wasting your emotional health, your time, your life. It’s better for you to be on your own (this is not the same thing as being alone). Figure you out, what you want and what you expect and not settle for anything else.
Should have spent the holidays with a divorce lawyer. Ditch this momma's boy. This person deserves better than playing "maid" to this pitiful prince.
NTA....yet. This relationship is very unhealthy for OP. If some boundries and respect aren't established asap she will be AH.
I just don't understand why He married her? If he's used to (and is comfortable) with the treatment he gets from his family, why would He married woman who won't provider it? From the other side, if He married her BECAUSE she's not like his family (which doesn't seem like the case), then why would He be upset at her about this??? I just can't see what He expected the marriage to be like, when He proposed... The same goes for her, of course, why the f**k would She be with someone like him????
I would not have gotten up early for him either to wake him up especially since he thinks its ok for his family to treat you like garbage. Divorce time .
I personally think it's hilarious that he missed his flight and 5 ppl, who are a******s, got their X-mas ruined.
Ahh, the day I was finally able summon up the courage (and wit) to say to my *former* MIL after years of abuse: "Tell ya what, then, you take your baby, and I'll take mine."
Obviously, he's not person you wanna be married to and his family sound like the in-laws from hell. But... did she ever tell him she wasn't going to wake him ? Or did she just passive-agressively decide not to set the clock ? (since it sounds as if she's usually the morning alarm for him) 'Cause if it's the second case, then (IMHO) they deserve each other.
I like the give him 2 cards response. My husband had parents that wanted him home out of the service and home.it was my fault that didn’t happen. After a disastrous trip home with the kids I sent him home and the kids and I stayed home. He got to see his family in the summer every 2 or 3 years and I did t have to be insulted and rejected . To me it was a Win Win
I guess it would depend on a few things. She says he asked her to wake him up? Did she tell him yes she would. If yes then she ITA. But the bigger picture is is she's willing to spend every Christmas alone etc.? Seems as if she didn't wake him up to get even with him. If that's what the relationship is it'll only get worse from there.
Wife not invited for Christmas? I hope she dumps him and finds someone normal.
Wife not invited? I hope she ends that marriage and finds someone normal.
Excuse me? Wake HIM up? Like bro even your phone has an alarm clock. Also, way to stand up for your lady. I hope he becomes more independent. No woman wants to stay with an adult baby.
Not sure I would have even married someone like that to begin with. It's one thing to be special to your family, but another to be completely spoiled to the point where potential spouses need to treat you the same way. This woman wanted a partner, not a spoiled man-child. If he can't grow the hec up and get himself out of bed that's on him..... Divorce sounds like a good idea here.
What is going to happen when you have children? Will you still NOT be invited, but they get to go with Daddy? They will be as spoiled as he is, especially if you have a boy. Hopefully you don't have children now. Go for counseling, if he won't go with you, then go by yourself. This is NOT a stable relashionship, and never will be.
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