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“Mansplaining”: 27 Abnormal Things That Society Forces Women To Believe Are Normal
What truly breaks my heart is women’s fight for equality. I mean, it is probably the oldest battle in time, yet patriarchy still seems to win, as we see it everywhere around us. The worst part is that this social evil has actually been normalized in our society.
A lot of women are angry about it, as they opened up on Reddit when a user asked them to share such things. Trust me, they didn’t hold back from exposing these “norms,” which are oh-so-problematic! Ladies out there, you might even relate to most of these, so just scroll down to check them out!
More info: Reddit
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#1
I used to think every woman just quietly accepted being groped at clubs like it was part of the “nightlife tax”… until I saw a girl grab a guy’s wrist mid-grope and yell, “Try that again, and I’ll break your fingers.” Queen behavior.
detective miller's hat 3 months ago
One time some guy at the pub grabbed my bo0b. I slammed my beer bottle into his head. I hope he learned a lesson.
RELATED:
#2
Getting body shamed for the "crime" of landing with a big chest.
I didn't choose to get what I got, but all the dads in my (Mormon) church were noticing, and all their wives *saw* them noticing and blamed me for it. It didn't matter how modestly I dressed - I could have worn a potato sack on top and I still would have gotten the same treatment.
It got so bad that a rumor started circulating around my church that I was deliberately stuffing my bra in order to distract the men. That's when my foster mom decided to *walk in on me* during a shower to confirm that what I have is legitimate. I was humiliated. I always locked the bathroom door after that whenever I was inside.
After that the conversations at church turned towards getting me a reduction surgery. Which the doctor refused to do, she determined it wasn't medically necessary.
I'm so glad I got away from that family, and that church.
detective miller's hat 3 months ago
One time my (thankfully now dead) stepfather asked me not to dress so "provocatively" around his sons (who were already perverts without any help from me). I was confused because my usual wardrobe was jeans and loose band tshirts. Turns out just having giant breasts made my outfits provocative. I asked him if he would like me to remove them when his kids came over, or...?
#3
The constant pressure to manage the emotions of men around us. If a creepy guy hits on you or touches you? You can’t react too strongly because you have no idea if he’ll flip out and hurt you. You have to craft your rejections so carefully so that you don’t injure their ego.
The other month, some guy grabbed my hand while I was waiting for the metro and asked me if I wanted a new friend. I said no thanks and tried to take my hand back, and he got angry and started yelling that I was a b***h. I wanted to yell back, but then had this stab of fear that he was going to push me on the tracks or pull out a weapon, so I just desescalated by apologizing to him.
And it’s always incredible that when I tell male friends this happened, they get all offended and say that a real man would have defended me. But there were like six men around me on that platform and not one of them even looked over.
Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
I had an argument with a huge sexist guy in public and at one point he just smiled and told me : "You know, if I punched you right now you would pass out and not be able to do anything against it". And that's why we often don't defend ourselves.
As you scroll through the list, you will realize that many of these things revolve around women's appearance and their behavior. Talking about the former one, I am pretty sure almost every woman has faced it at least once in her life. I mean, there's just so much pressure put on women to appear a certain way that is almost unrealistic, and most of it is all thanks to the male gaze.
It's horrifying that young girls get bullied because of their appearance or because they are supposed to look a certain way for the male gaze. Sadly, people don't realize how harmful it is for their self-esteem, which literally goes down the drain. From snide jabs about our weight to the way we dress, it all feels so controlled and suffocating at times.
#4
Have you seen how they get a biopsy from inside the cervix?
No pain medication is offered, just use a hole punch to take some flesh and tell you there’s nothing to react to .
Sarah 3 months ago
And they get annoyed if you don’t relax. As a cold metal Clamp/ scraper goes inside you
SkyBlueandBlack 3 months ago
And getting yelled at by the doc for crying. Good times.
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Mother of Dragons 3 months ago
Omg One of the most painful things I have ever experienced. Once at 18, once at 45. The last one had me screaming and in tears after it was over the doctor told me it shouldn't have hurt after taking a Percocet before the procedure. I was absolutely shocked and asked him what Percocet? Apparently they were supposed to prescribe me one Percocet to pick up and take prior to arriving at the procedure. SMFH.
Kristy Raymond 3 months ago
I asked for one painkiller and a little time in the waiting room before my 3rd iud. I was pretty sure I knew what to expect and those people looked at me like I had asked for the moon. Older gal looked down her nose st me and told me to take a Tylenol. Btich.
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Dusty's mom 3 months ago
Women all need to demand local anesthesia. If Dr. Pimple Popper can numb a zit, they can do it for an INTERNAL ORGAN! Give your gynos this example to shame them.
Nikki Sevven 3 months ago
I just had this done in July. It hurt like a mf. Next up, the dreaded cone biopsy, which you can Google if you want to be horrified. Thankfully, I'll be anesthetized this time.
merlin 3 months ago
Just read it. I'm sorry you'll have to go through that.
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Anonymous User 2 months ago
because they've been taught that the cervix has no nerve endings and so we can't feel it despite reality and science proving otherwise. medicine is NOT evidence based. it is preconceived notions and stereotypes based.
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PurrfectLife 3 months ago
I just had a transvaginal ultrasound and now waiting for a biopsy appointment. The ultrasound itself was so painful I wanted to pass out for relief.
AutumnGirl 3 months ago
Wait, what? About 8 years ago, I had a cervical biopsy (and a few weeks later, a cervical conization) with tons of anesthesia. I didn't feel a thing. Where do you live that you don't get anesthestized for that??
Fluffy Cat Sleeps 3 months ago (edited)
That was my pain level 10 in my 30s. My pain level scale has recalibrated since then and now it's probably a 7.
Deborah B 3 months ago
They give you pain medication when they take a skin biopsy from your abdomin (speaking from experience). Why not when it's your cervix?
Sarah Belt 3 months ago
Because the medical community was under the belief for years that there are no nerve endings in there (and default to assuming women are just 'being hysterical'). They were wrong, but try telling a doctor that.
Load More Replies... Anonymous User 2 months ago
I had a doctor get mad at me for twitching during a LEEP. He told me it was not possible to feel that. And yet I felt it. I had no way of knowing what he was doing or when he was doing it so couldn't fake a reaction for his entertainment. And then they accused me of d**g seeking when I had an extreme response to whatever d***s they gave. All I wanted was a Tylenol and they treated me like I wanted a month's worth of percs. I won't take percs but yet I'm a d**g seeker. Didn't' even notice that I was happy with the Tylenol and acted like she put me in my place. So committed to thinking the worst of women. And it was a female nurse. POS.
Jill Woodhead 2 months ago
I had an injection to numb the area..the nurses were great and I had a heated loop to cauterise the area to minimise bleeding
SchadenFreudian Psychology 3 months ago
Having an IUD inserted can hurt like hell, too. I put up with it, because it was STILL better than getting pregnant.
Lauren Caswell 3 months ago
In many first world countries too Pengie. And countries that believe themselves to still be first or second world (modern post cold War definitions)
Load More Replies... #5
Being told to smile. Now realizing how weird it would be for a man to tell another man to smile. It doesn’t happen.
#6
Everything is in your head - disrespectful treatment from partners or family, ignored health concerns from healthcare professionals, issues at work. You are a woman and you are overreacting.
….and then I realized that my feelings matter.
Little Bit 3 months ago
When I tried to tell my mum that my then husband was beating me and at times I feared for my life she told me I was "talking rubbish." It was at that point I became big on self reliance because I knew that there was nobody in the world willing to fight my corner.
Let's not forget about the pretty-privilege, which simply puts more pressure on women to look appealing, just to get something done. The other such horrendous thing is how women are supposed to "behave": they can't be too dumb, they can't be smarter than their male partners, they can't be masculine, they're mocked if they are too girlish, the list can just go on and on forever.
Gender experts warn that it's the culture that has a massive impact on how a woman is valued. With all these extravagant expectations from us ladies, doesn't it feel that patriarchy is just after robbing us of our identity? I truly dream of a world where a woman is free of judgment based on her looks or behavior and gains complete freedom from these oppressive notions. After all, that's all they are, aren't they?
#7
Being the “default person” when it comes to a lot of things. I make lunch and dinner each day? Meh, that’s just normal. He makes dinner once? Expects a parade in his honour! “Where’s my shirt?” as if I somehow obviously know the whereabouts of his things (which I usually DO know, because of course I also did the laundry). “Make a dentist appointment for me next month” Who makes my appointments? Oh yeah, it’s also me.
And on top of this I work more hours than he does. When he has his weekly “long shift” (which is 12 hours, the same as my REGULAR shift) he can’t even put his socks in the laundry basket because he’s “too tired”. But of course I’M not tired, right? These things are just gonna get done behind the scenes, the dishes fairy is going to come unload the dishwasher while he snores.
#8
Most women have been SA'd at some point in life and just carry on like nothing happened.
#9
Period pain. Every adult woman would tell me that period pain was normal. Mine were so severe I would cry, throw up, and one time even pass out. Turns out it was endometriosis.
So much pain is NEVER normal
EDIT: I didn't think this many people would relate, all these stories are absolutely infuriating. I hope you all are better now. If you are in pain and a doctor tells you you are overreacting, go see someone else. A good doctor will work with you to understand where the pain comes from. It is REALLY important to get checked out if you feel pain, as stuff like endometriosis or polycystic ovary syndrome can get worse without treatment. As for me, I got the correct treatment after 12 years of begging and bad cramps. You can get a pill that stops your period. It has side effects, like a lot of pills like that, but lord did it help me. I still have period cramps here and there, but it's nothing like before. I feel like I can actually live my life. I truly wish good luck to you lads.
Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
I had period pain since age 8, and so severe that my doctor had me for an ultrasound. The response was : "So it seems that nothing is wrong, so you just don't have luck ! Bye !" and that was it. Now thanks to my implant I don't have my period anymore but still, it's baffling.
The other highly concerning things that women opened up about are domestic violence, emotional manipulation, and just cruelty in general. Nearly every 1 in 2 women in the United States will face physical violence from an intimate partner at some point in their lives. That's a troublesome statistic. No wonder it has been normalized by society.
It has been observed that domestic cruelty can show up in lots of different ways, and going through it can be really tough. It doesn’t just leave physical marks; it can also hurt emotionally and take a toll on someone’s overall health. It can spill into every part of life and make even everyday things feel really hard to handle. Imagine having to go through all this just because you are born a woman. How miserable is that!
#10
That it was normal to feel like you constantly have to double-check if you’re “too much” until I realized everyone deserves to just be themselves without walking on eggshells.
Michael Largey 3 months ago
If the other person thinks you're "too much", that may be because they have too little to offer.
#11
People (women too and obviously (some)men) thinking we're not equal. Thinking because we're not men, we should do more, should earn less, have less rights and so on.
This is idiotic and not even remotely abnormal in 2025 but pure and deliberate cruelness without remorse.
Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
And that paired with racism, homophobia and fat-phobia makes every day a battle to be considered as a person.
#12
Mansplaining, or being spoken to in subtlely insulting ways by men. Not anymore; I have become a rampaging b***h about stuff like that.
Michael Largey 3 months ago
When talking to anyone about a subject, first take the time to learn (a) what they know and (b) what they want to find out. Focus your time doing a good job at (b).
Gender discrimination doesn’t just show up in one area of life; rather, it sneaks into so many different spaces. At work, women might get paid less than men for the same job or miss out on promotions because of stereotypes about what they ‘can’ or ‘can’t’ do. In school, some girls are discouraged from pursuing certain subjects or higher education, which holds them back before they even get started.
It also affects health, as sometimes women don’t get the same quality of medical care, or they might struggle to access resources for their mental and emotional well-being. Safety is another big issue, since discrimination is closely tied to harassment and gender-based violence, which can leave women feeling on edge in their own communities.
#13
Never being trusted that the answer we give is the correct one.
This applies mostly to fields commonly considered masculine, like trades, but can be experienced everywhere in every topic. Grinds my gears that people can't possibly believe a woman has the right answer, so they will ask a man who, yeah, provides the same answer. They believe him, why not me?
UKGrandad 3 months ago
A couple of years ago my gas central heating boiler started malfunctioning so I called the service company to arrange for an engineer to come out. The engineer who turned up was a young woman. I let her in, made her a mug of tea, told her what the boiler was doing then left her to it, telling her to give me a shout when she'd done. An hour later she called me through, told me what had gone wrong and what she'd done to fix it, then put her tools away and headed for the door. Just before she left she stopped and thanked me, saying that in her 5 years as an engineer this was the first time a male customer had just left her to do her job instead of hovering around questioning everything she did or telling her how to do her job properly. A couple of times men had even refused to let her in, phoning her company and insisting that a 'proper' engineer, i.e. a man came out instead. Oh, and she did an excellent job: the boiler has been faultless ever since.
#14
Sexual pressure. I thought every boyfriend believed they were owed s*x and that it was normal for them to use emotional manipulation to get it.
Mel in Georgia 3 months ago
That was a big turning point for me in my relationships when I realized that just because a guy is turned on, it doesn't mean it's my responsibility to do something about it. Some guys make you think it is.
#15
Wearing heels that hurt like hell seriously thought everyone just powered through the pain like it was some unspoken rule… turns out a lot of women just don’t wear them if they’re uncomfortable.
Lastly, society often pushes women into certain roles, like only being seen as caregivers or homemakers, making it harder for them to freely choose their own paths. When women are underrepresented in politics and leadership, their perspectives and needs aren’t always heard, which means decisions can end up being unbalanced.
At the end of the day, gender discrimination doesn’t just limit women; it limits society as a whole. Imagine what a better world we could live in if women were not forced to accept these things as normal, but voiced them out, and something was actually done to curb them.
However, it sounds like wishful thinking, looking at the online manosphere, which is promoting misogyny. All women can do about it is keep fighting this never-ending battle, and not give up hope, right? To all our female readers, feel free to jot down the discriminatory things you felt were normal until you realized otherwise. We always have an open ear for your thoughts!
#16
Being yelled at a lot. Years of therapy and boundary setting is helping me. Also f**k my mom.
#17
Bad doctors. I didn’t know there were good doctors until I moved away and realized wait, doctors actually listen to you?
Lene 3 months ago
Yeah. I hate that so much! I had to convince my doctor over several meetings that I need to be tested for adhd. She still smiles at me in this odd way if it enters the conversation I have with her. She also tried her best to talk me out of coming on the waiting list for a psychiatrist (who can give a proper diagnosis) because of how long the waiting list is in my country. She wanted me to accept a reference to a psychologist (who may/may not be able to help me via therapy, but is not licenced to diagnose for adhd). But I fought hard to get on the waiting list and there's now just over a year until I'm gonna see the psychiatrist. *woohoo!*
#19
Having to phrase every statement as a question so you didn't get berated if it turned out to be wrong— or even if it was right, but the other party just assumed it was wrong.
#20
Domestic violence.
PurrfectLife 3 months ago
Been there, done that. I survived physical and mental abuse. Never, ever again. I will fight back and destroy.
#21
Body dysmorphia and hating your appearance. I thought "feeling s**y" was a sign of narcissism.
My mom wasn't the best role model in that regard. I'd spent my formative years hearing the awful s**t my mom said about herself in front of the mirror, even tough she was gorgeous. Always on a diet, her butt always 'huge', her belly never flat enough (after me, her 2nd child, just so we can add a pinch of guilt on my part. After my older brother she lost all the baby weight ). I was an ice skater, so the expectations of the sport and the attitude of the other girls (I was called 'fat-a*s' at age 10) didn't help either. Also it was the 90's-00's beauty standards I grew up with. I remember the tabloids of Britney when she gained weight after giving birth. I was in the trenches of tumblr when 'thinspiration' was everywhere.
Then came high school and all the toxicity you can imagine. Fat shaming, restrictive diets, insane weight goals, always criticising ourselves or someone else. I think teenage girls are the most cruel and despicable creatures on Earth. No wonder I developed an eating disorder by age 16.
Now, 2 years into recovery I see that's anything but normal. It's not "part of being a woman". I'm nearing 30, my "best before" days are behind me. With a metabolism that fast, and a lifestyle as active as mine, I could've been slim (but not skinny) effortlessly. Instead I spent my 20's starving, exercising until throwing up, hating myself, envious of others, bringing other women down so I can feel better about myself.
I finally understand that self confidence isn't narcissism. That women who say they're 'feeling s**y' or 'like their body' aren't lying so the rest of us can feel even worse about ourselves. I know that I'm sick, that I have a mental illness, and I'm not 'like every other women'.
Edited for grammar mistakes, English isn't my native language.
#22
Feeling pain during a c section. I was screaming "I still feel it" and my anesthesiologist said, "We don't wanna give her anything too strong, she might not remember the birth."
Meanwhile, I did not want my baby anywhere near me after he came out because I was so enraged and in agony and felt completely helpless.
Actually, I'm so traumatized by that birth, I absolutely will NEVER have another kid.
Edit: I don't wanna scare anyone from having kids. This was with my 2nd child. My first child was an emergency c-section, and the adrenaline made the epidural painless (I don't remember feeling it at all, not even the numbing part). I did have the same 'Hotspot' where the epidural didn't reach and when I start panicking about the pain, they gave me Ketamine and I was gooooood. They continued to do their thing, I still remember seeing my girl and doing cheek to cheek with her. It was traumatic, too, but not nearly as much as my 2nd one...
The 2nd time around was a scheduled cesarean so I thought it had to go better, right? And I informed my doctors and anesthesists of what happened the first time. So when it happened again, and this time was not given any stronger pain meds, it was terrifying and the pain felt way worse from before. Adrenaline was still sky high because all the memories of the 1st one were there.
I remember they showed me my boy and I immediately turned away from him because fluid dripped on my face (from him, he was a meconium baby) and I just wasn't mentally ready to bond after that one. Having another kid is completely off the table for us now. Not even a question about it.
detective miller's hat 3 months ago
This happened to my sister. She has a metal rod in her spine, so the epidural only numbed one side of her body. She was screaming I CAN FEEL THAT, but the docs just ignored her and continued the c section. She did not have any other children.
#23
Constantly worrying about your your outfits. Is it too revealing? Too boring? Do I look like a prude? Too atractive or unattractive to be taken seriously?
For some girls, worrying about this starts as early as pre-school.
Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
And if you have big breasts like a C/D cup or more, no matter what you wear it's going to be "too revealing".
#24
Being with a partner who you love but doesn’t fully love you back. I when my partner and I found each other it made all of the previous relationships seems horrid and toxic. .
#25
Silent treatment from their mother.
I thought this type of behavior was normal for most of my life. Its crazy how some women's mothers actually talk to them about their feelings or tell them why they are upset at their daughter.
PurrfectLife 3 months ago
My mother (since passed away) was silent in another respect. When I got my period at an early age (11 years old), she said that was a shame. Nothing else. She never asked or talked to me about things-- were there boys that I liked? How was I feeling? At one point she said that I wouldn't amount to much-- which really hurt. But fortunately later on in life we became close-- yet she still didn't ask me about myself.
#26
Thought that being s******l during the premenstrual period was normal. Turns out, most people don't suffer from mood swings that extreme. Didn't find out until my mid-thirties.
Little Bit 3 months ago
I suffered with PMDD from day 1 of my periods. Back in the 90s it wasn't a recognised condition. My mother told me it was normal and to stop making such a fuss. I suffered in silence for years,
#27
Putting up with a spouse who not only wouldn't respect seemingly normal boundaries, but trying to make me feel like I was the one who was wrong for trying to have simple boundaries to begin with. Part of why we're divorcing now.
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What do you think ?
JK 3 months ago
I cant believe no one mentioned "wearing merchandise" - literally, a man can walk around with a band/video game/comic/sports tshirt and no one bats an eyelid. A woman wears one and suddenly youre being questioned on every little thing about whatever logo youre wearing! "Oh you support X, so what was their fathers step-uncles pet goldfish called?" And if you dont know, youre "not really a fan/just a poser", if you do, they just ask more until you dont, or say "well, you probably already looked that up"
Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
Also if you're a man wearing merch you're a "cool fan" and if you're a woman wearing merch you're a "teenage hysterical groupie".
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Historyherstory (old guy) 3 months ago
Just came here to say that this some sad c**p. Sorry so many have dealt with this. Men must do better. Steps have been made, but not enough
Lee Gilliland 3 months ago
The "real doctors who listen to you" , giving birth by c section and pain during normal ob/gyn procedurers are all one - medical doctors do not take woman's pain as seriously as they do men's. Ever.
CP 3 months ago
Not for nothing, all the major religions are misogynist in nature. That was always interesting to me when it seemed the women around me were pushing religion more than the men.
Jude Laskowski 3 months ago
I was raised Catholic, and I never understood why couples were sent to a priest for marriage advice. How in the heck would they know?
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Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
The topic of patriarchy and the expectations it sets on women ???
Load More Replies... JK 3 months ago
I cant believe no one mentioned "wearing merchandise" - literally, a man can walk around with a band/video game/comic/sports tshirt and no one bats an eyelid. A woman wears one and suddenly youre being questioned on every little thing about whatever logo youre wearing! "Oh you support X, so what was their fathers step-uncles pet goldfish called?" And if you dont know, youre "not really a fan/just a poser", if you do, they just ask more until you dont, or say "well, you probably already looked that up"
Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
Also if you're a man wearing merch you're a "cool fan" and if you're a woman wearing merch you're a "teenage hysterical groupie".
Load More Replies... Historyherstory (old guy) 3 months ago
Just came here to say that this some sad c**p. Sorry so many have dealt with this. Men must do better. Steps have been made, but not enough
Lee Gilliland 3 months ago
The "real doctors who listen to you" , giving birth by c section and pain during normal ob/gyn procedurers are all one - medical doctors do not take woman's pain as seriously as they do men's. Ever.
CP 3 months ago
Not for nothing, all the major religions are misogynist in nature. That was always interesting to me when it seemed the women around me were pushing religion more than the men.
Jude Laskowski 3 months ago
I was raised Catholic, and I never understood why couples were sent to a priest for marriage advice. How in the heck would they know?
Load More Replies... Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
The topic of patriarchy and the expectations it sets on women ???
Load More Replies...
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