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Confidence and ignorance are a dangerous mix, and it can be especially potent when it comes to men who feel that they have the right to tell women what to do. On the /r/NotHowGirlsWork subreddit, moderators and contributors catalog the craziest cases of men (and, in odd cases, even women) sharing their most head-scratching takes on women’s minds, bodies and rights.

In the very best-case scenario, some of these might be ignorant but well-wishing ignorant men who are open to learning from their mistakes. In many cases, however, these may be representatives of darker online communities whose members can be affected by mental health issues and a downward spiral of hate against women.

We’ll break down what some of these communities are and the real-world dangers they may present to women below.

Incels (involuntary celibate) are one of the more hateful misogynistic communities online. Some members have even been involved in real-world violence against women. Unfortunately, they aren’t the only misogynistic online community. Other toxic communities in the broader “manosphere” - a coalition of sites online oriented towards men’s issues - include:

  • MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way): Men advocating their separation into a woman-less society;
  • The red-pill community: A broader online community that idolizes what it sees as traditional gender roles and masculine ideals. Many men in this community hold misogynistic beliefs about women’s familial responsibilities and roles.
  • MRA (Men’s Rights Activists): The men’s rights movement is a broader movement advocating a focus on numerous issues affecting men. Some members of this movement see women as adversaries in solving men’s issues, while others embrace feminism.
  • Pick-up artists: This is a community of men who see women primarily as objects of desire and believe that the use of specific algorithms or formulas - collectively called “game” - will help them attract women.

Read on for one professor’s insights into the problem of online misogyny.

#3

Pants Are Evil

Pants Are Evil

Unfair_Assumption_23 Report

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The Doom Song
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No pants huh? Guess I'll just walk around in my undies then since I don't wear skirts or dresses

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#5

What A Piece Of S***t!

What A Piece Of S***t!

amungus45 Report

#6

Why Aren't Women More Superficial?

Why Aren't Women More Superficial?

g1rlchild Report

Bored Panda reached out to Professor Chuka Nestor Emezue, Ph.D., MPH, MPA, CHES at Rush University for additional insights into the problem of misogynistic hate online. As an expert on children’s, women’s, and family health, Professor Emezue has conducted research into these hateful online communities and potential de-radicalization interventions.

For many of us, it seems like comments like these might be products of ignorance. Professor Emezue explained, however, that it’s not that simple: “I believe that ignorance is not the root cause of the issue at hand. It is too easy to just blame a lack of awareness of what is moral and sensible today. The current global climate surrounding masculinity has created a perfect storm - contributing to this rise in global misogyny. Factors such as unattended mental health problems, hopelessness, progress made by women in various fields, extremist political beliefs that reinforce male dominance, and poverty contribute to this phenomenon.”

#7

Another Alpha Male

Another Alpha Male

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Awesome At Being Autistic
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hard pass. First he's getting rid of your guy friends, next it's your girl friends, next it's your family. Learned that one the hard way.

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#8

Sir That Is Not How This Works

Sir That Is Not How This Works

Welcome2_TheInternet Report

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Follo00
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow what a concept. Thinking about it, boys shouldn't release sperm till they are 18. Just hold it in.

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#11

The Ever-Confusing Hymen

The Ever-Confusing Hymen

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Stardust she/her
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The hymen is not like one of those freshness seals! It may not even tear even after having sex many times. It can tear from running, stretching etc. Why can’t people just understand this?

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Leading social media platforms and online communities have taken steps to de-platform incels and other misogynistic communities, but they are certain to find places to congregate elsewhere. And even so, many of the comments mocked by the /r/NotHowGirlsWork subreddit are found on mainstream platforms like Twitter.

Professor Emezue helped understand the importance of these communities to incels and others, who see them as a respite from what they perceive as unfair treatment by women or society at large: “I believe that these online channels provide a sense of belonging and companionship to many incels who may not have these connections in their daily lives. Young incels on these social media platforms egg each other on. You should expect many will double down on their beliefs and efforts to subjugate women.”

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“It's quite uncomplicated really,” Professor Emezue continued. “Nobody wants to lose. And when you allow yourself to be so convinced that others are to blame for your misplacement in society, anything that presents itself as a way out will suffice. In this case, as many boys and men grow hopeless, or feel like they cannot compete in the home, in the workplace, and elsewhere, they must find someone to blame. In this case, incels believe that females, feminism, and 'wokeness' are the culprits.”

#13

Don't Miss Out Your Biology Classes!

Don't Miss Out Your Biology Classes!

amungus45 Report

#14

Apparently We’re Bonded To Everyone

Apparently We’re Bonded To Everyone

candycorn901 Report

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Fenchurch
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How to say you've never given a woman sexual satisfaction, without etc

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#15

Yes, Stick It Into My Urethra 😩

Yes, Stick It Into My Urethra 😩

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Sonja
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It still surprise me, how many people think - there is just one hole in the front yard - and that it is somehow pleasuring to put catheter or tampon...how.on earth. could that be pleasuring.

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#16

Not How Abortions Work

Not How Abortions Work

Windinthewillows2024 Report

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is exactly the crux of the matter. People (men) are making decisions about a woman’s right to an abortion when they have no idea what they’re talking about.

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#17

Womens Bodies Aren’t Actually Theirs

Womens Bodies Aren’t Actually Theirs

flaminghotdex Report

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eeeeeeeee
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, then they should be taking better care of it. What's all this fat and wrinkles? Huh?

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#18

I Don’t Think Any Of These People Ever Go Outside

I Don’t Think Any Of These People Ever Go Outside

nipplequeefs Report

#19

I Need .. I Need... A Mother

I Need .. I Need... A Mother

Unfair_Assumption_23 Report

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#20

"5min Of Continuons Sex"

"5min Of Continuons Sex"

PickyPouic Report

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Ember
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

5 whole minutes of continuous sex? …and none of these women had an orgasm? You do surprise me…

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#21

Women In Their 20’s-30’s = Old Chunky Milk

Women In Their 20’s-30’s = Old Chunky Milk

taipoor Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idiot wants a girl instead of a woman, he's a pedo. This ensures she can't compare him with other men. Probably the type that will groom her into submission and thinks he has the right to abuse her. Men like this need to be locked up.

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#22

Attractive Girlfriends Have Literally Thousands Of Other Options And Therefore Won't Stay Faithful Apparently

Attractive Girlfriends Have Literally Thousands Of Other Options And Therefore Won't Stay Faithful Apparently

littlegraveyardbat Report

#23

Of Course Some Men Think They Can Do This Better

Of Course Some Men Think They Can Do This Better

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#24

This Is Why We Need Sex Ed

This Is Why We Need Sex Ed

FalconLynx13 Report

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Fenchurch
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's right. Remember everyone, hold it in till you are 18 and stop menstruating at 25. I'm learning so much today! 🤣

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#25

Wow, And I Had No Idea

Wow, And I Had No Idea

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Lakota Wolf
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like backpacks and I like díck and I’m female. Yeah, it must be surprising to some people like OP that that can happen.

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Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's true! I am bisexual and we bisexuals always wear a purse and a backpack at the same time... 🙄

mje700510 avatar
RainWingRoyal
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh, same! Guess I'm not aro/ace anymore! I always have like... three bags on me, my backpack, my purse, and my drawing stuff. What does that make me?

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Harley Lee
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I’m labelled then! I’ve gone thru 3 backpacks from uni- to career and I’m on my 4th. Man books r heavy! Got tired of paying for a physio when all I needed was a frikkin backpack 🎒

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MellonCollie
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahhh, so that's that feeling I've been having every time I wear my backpack - I couldn't figure out what it was!!!

desiree_meredith avatar
Desiree Meredith
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not gay... But possibly a dragon. I wear a backpack to collect shiny things I find when out and about.

qgarialopez08 avatar
Aria the Dog Lover
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I may be bi, so I can't really disprove this lol. I just like backpacks more than purses.

wendytate avatar
The Short Lady
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a friend who carried a backpack, a purse, and a briefcase. I'm going with pansexual.

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JuJu
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a purse that can transform into a backpack. Boooom!

makenziemcneal avatar
Makenzie McNeal
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So all children are gay, Hmmm? I thought we weren't supposed to force these things on children?

inkslingerkate avatar
Wednesday
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmmm. Married to a guy. Kids. Wears backpack.... and not oriented towards women sexually... am I missing something?

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Eleanor Freeman
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok but I use a backpack and a purse lol. Does that mean I’m bisexual? 😂 Some people really need some common sense. Your sexual attraction is definitely not based off of what kind of bag you use.

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darle bennett
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well now that is a real sick way of thinking. How do you explain the women that i have seen at the grocery store, or the mall wearing back packs, pushing a stroller with a baby in it plus carrying a toddler on her hip & no sign of the father? When I see a women at the grocery store with 1 or 2 little children or pregnant & the father isn't with her, I think that he should be with her helping with the shopping or at work, his place is not at home sitting on the couch watching football, baseball, car racing or fishing in some river or lake.

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Miranda Pond
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or maybe... She's going somewhere and needs to carry a lot of stuff.. Or maybe she prefers backpacks. (In my experience, honestly, this post is mostly true0.0

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Chioma Cobb
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love backpacks! I guess I need to have a conversation with my husband... this going to be so awkward 😅

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Heather Talma
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round 1 of today's episode of "Pride or Prejudice"--was it a joke made by a gay person or a comment by a homophobe?

anamac1210 avatar
Anne McKinney
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you have to call women gay that means they won't even look at your stupid a*s.

net0 avatar
Margaret Weaver
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait what does a totebag mean then? I wouldn't want people thinking I'm into whatever totebag means in bag-code! Woe is me!

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Sara Rizzi
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like someone has been rejected by a woman who was wearing a backpack

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ScaryThingIntheDryer
Community Member
11 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

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The Other Other White Meat
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I prefer a sparkly fannypack, so what does this make me? *edited because F A N N Y is a bad word now apparently*

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Wonderful
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh oh I better break it to my husband of 20 years that I like women. Sure fooled him lol

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Blondie23
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

or maybe her laptop doesn't fit in a purse and she wants to make sure her back doesn't hurt!

kathis_1 avatar
Kathi S
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Which means I am gay on some days (especially when I go hiking) and straight on others.

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CatLady
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that a woman doesn't want to get with you doesn't mean she's gay. It means she has intelligence and self-esteem.

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D. Pitbull
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it's as simple as wearing a backpack to keep people this stupid away from you... oh wow... my friends, get a backpack!!!!!!!

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Lizlogs_7
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok guys...I've just found out that I'm gay 🤣🤣🤣

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ADDee
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he measures sexuality by what they wear then he’s a MORON. It’s a fact.

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Jane
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a crush on a guy and my purse is a back pack

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Page intentially left blank
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait - then I'm gay at work, but straight in the evenings? Wow - that's amazing!

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Ron H.
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahahahaha Just because girls wearing backpacks don't want to f#*k you, doesn't make them gay!!

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Redwitch
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've got a backpack and a purse, must mean I'm bi... Wait, this checks out ha

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Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

...I mean, so long as I have a more functioning way to carry all of my stuff, whatever. Sign me up.

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Benita Valdez
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to rock the mini backpacks. Also had these awesome hip/thigh "tactical" bags (they were marketed towards men as a cool alternative to fannypack)

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Becky Scherer
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmmm, my husband will be shocked! You know, nevermind that it saves my shoulder and back. SMH

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Ancsuri
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just bought a backpack cause I decided to walk to work, because is healthier... I think I have to tell my boyfriend, that things have changed..

sonja_6 avatar
Sonja
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The backpack is the modern version of a pannier. An item used to carry heavy loads on your back by men and women over centuries. Just for your information

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CrunChewy McSandybutt
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I use a man's wallet because it's more functional. I'm not gay, though, after reading this, I wish I were.

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bi_mushr00m
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

gee, i have a backpack for going to school, guess I'm gay because why would I wear a purse, I don't need my homework, books or pencils. -sarcasm level 1000-

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Anna Stephenson
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope- I'm just disabled and need a bigger bag to carry all my c**p and remain hands free!

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A Very Bored Panda
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am not gay! >:( I actually prefer the backpack because 1) It's cute 2) I can actually hold more stuff in the backpack than a purse!

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Snake Queen
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is there something wrong with being gay? (Idk I just saw the angry face)

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Allison B
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I commute to work on a bus and find backpacks much easier to deal with for that. It's best to keep my hands free. Not gay but bi soo.

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Ael
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell me how you don't read (and therefore carry) books without telling me that you don't read books...

rkrause avatar
Rebekah Krause
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Somehow, this is the one that has the most understanding of the female body?

annagibson avatar
AnnaRachelle
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I honestly did not realise that about myself. Thank you for that information on my sexuality

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CurlyCucumber
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahhahaahah from all the mothers that have to carry their children in their hands from home to kindergarden and who after it realize that they have lost their purse somewhere along the way.

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xolitaire
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or she doesn't want to ruin her back by only putting stress on one shoulder

abigor avatar
Cyber Returns
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because the girl with the backpack turned you down, it does not make her gay. It means you're off-putting

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Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, if I use a backpack all these creepy men will think I'm gay & leave me the heck alone? 🤔🎒

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UpupaEpops
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Slanted shoulders here. I *wish* I could spice things up but it's backpack and cross-body bags for me.

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Take me to dinner first
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom, I guess there's something I need to tell you... i hope you still love me after all

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#28

Vito Barbieri Thinks The Vagina Can Be Accessed By The Mouth? An Old But Good One

Vito Barbieri Thinks The Vagina Can Be Accessed By The Mouth? An Old But Good One

Plenty_Lengthiness96 Report

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Fenchurch
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too funny. Yet he apparently ties his own shoes and go to the big boy bathroom by himself. 🤣

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#29

Oh Yeah Women Are Only Here To Be The Beautiful Wifes Of Men

Oh Yeah Women Are Only Here To Be The Beautiful Wifes Of Men

EnthusiasmLate8764 Report

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Fenchurch
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Phew lucky escape there! Quick marry each other! Lovely couple. Makes me smile everytime this comes up

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#30

Somehow I Just *know* This Boy Needs All Women To Get 2 Or 3 Stitches 😬😆

Somehow I Just *know* This Boy Needs All Women To Get 2 Or 3 Stitches 😬😆

Lana_Eve Report

#31

Women Don't Use Computers

Women Don't Use Computers

ramdamble Report

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Fenchurch
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha it's a f*****g Lenovo! I've had sewing machines that are more complicated.

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#32

A Groundbreaking Discovery Of Gspot By This Bozo

A Groundbreaking Discovery Of Gspot By This Bozo

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Fenchurch
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's someone who not only doesn't know about human anatomy,but also only watches porn.

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#33

Is It Even More Painful To See Women Spreading This Type Of Nonsense?

Is It Even More Painful To See Women Spreading This Type Of Nonsense?

aethericallum Report

#34

I Just Don’t Think There’s Any Research Backing That Up

I Just Don’t Think There’s Any Research Backing That Up

aethericallum Report

#35

Bro What 😐

Bro What 😐

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Take me to dinner first
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In that case we should give it to the real real gamers, who spend no time streaming anything because they have better things to do

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#36

I Have No Words

I Have No Words

Keylesser Report

#37

Women Can’t Be Software Engineers, Apparently

Women Can’t Be Software Engineers, Apparently

aethericallum Report

#38

Another Guy Trying To Downplay Childbirth And Lying Horribly About It

Another Guy Trying To Downplay Childbirth And Lying Horribly About It

Tailz713 Report

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Mary Lou
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also women never got toothache so they got no way of comparison...

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#39

I Love Being A Woman

I Love Being A Woman

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Follo00
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well then I have an interesting thought experiment for you. Let's say that all woman die shortly after 30. I bet men are thrilled to rise their kinds alone. And of course, children need a father figure, but a mother figure? For what?

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#40

Why Is This Their First Thought ?!!

Why Is This Their First Thought ?!!

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Take me to dinner first
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ffs I kinda want this to be a joke but even if it is I wanna burn this tweet down

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