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“Everyone Started To Look At Me Like ‘???’”: 86 Habits Neurodivergent People Thought Were Normal
There comes a time in every person’s life when they are forced to reconcile the fact that, actually, what they think is entirely normal doesn’t represent how the average person operates. If one happens to not be neurologically typical, then this might be the list for you.
Someone made a post stating “Neurodivergent folks, what’s a symptom you thought was normal until you realized it absolutely wasn’t?” and people shared their best examples. Note, many of the things here can be attributed to neurodivergence, but are not exclusive to it. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to write down and obsess over your own examples in the comments below.
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#1
Not hating showering itself but hating the task initiation.
RELATED:
#2
I replay conversations I have with people in my head.. to try to determine if said the appropriate thing and I totally over analyze it. It can be exhausting...
#3
When people tell me a story, I tell them a similar story to try to relate. Ppl don’t like that they think I’m trying to make it about myself when I’m trying to empathize.
Zig Zag Wanderer 2 hours ago
This is so incredibly common. I tried hard to stop doing this decades ago, thinking I was being egotistical. I only recently discovered that all neurodivergents do it to some extent. It made me fell better.
TheOGpandaHavana 1 hour ago
I can't stop doing this! I try but it feels so intuitive and I don't know what else to say to show empathy other than the awkward, "I feel you" or "I'm sorry that must feel...." None of which are good things to say. I want to feel connections with others so I assume they want the same thing but people would prefer to feel special to the point of having nothing in common?
#4
Clearing my ENTIRE day to get ready for an event at 7pm.
#5
Constantly googling things when I don't know. iIt boggles my mind that people don't know something and then just keep moving through life not knowing.....
SouthernGal 1 hour ago
Believing ridiculous things without bothering to fact check enrages me.
#6
Always needing to know “why” and doing extensive deep research about random things only to completely lose interest a month or two later.
TheOGpandaHavana 1 hour ago
Story of my life! But the diversity of my random knowledge is both impressive and concerning.
#7
Object permanence, I don’t miss anyone or anything, is a struggle 😩
UnclFredstr:
Object permanence, especially with people. I can go months without communicating, and yet to me, when I do, it feels like just yesterday.
TheOGpandaHavana 1 hour ago (edited)
Yeah, this is hard for me to understand because I have it but I also have intense anxiety. Therefore I get incredibly anxious about future regrets for things I don't currently miss. It's a never-ending vicious cycle.
#8
Not actually “missing” many people or feeling the urge to talk to friends or anyone besides the people you’re around everyday. People are like out of sight out of mind.
#9
Listening to one song on repeat for hours.
#10
Having full conversations with myself in my head…
Colleen Glim 1 hour ago
I have full conversations with myself out loud. Some days it’s my only means of having an intelligent conversation
SouthernGal 1 hour ago
This usually makes me realize I need a nap to escape from myself.
Load More Replies... #11
Instantly recognizing patterns.
TheOGpandaHavana 1 hour ago
I love patterns! I would not say that I'm good at recognizing them though. 😅
#12
Brain radio! I thought everyone else was hearing music on repeat inside their head. 😭
TheOGpandaHavana 1 hour ago
I hate this soooo much! Sometimes it's worse than the endless dialogue in my head.
#13
Time blindness. I zone out and look at my phone and 2 hours have gone by.
#14
Having to train myself to make eye contact with people in conversation.
Rick Murray 45 minutes ago
Which eye? Should I alternate? Stare between them? People demand eye contact then start to get creeped out when you put in the effort to do it - why?
#15
I don’t know if there’s a word for it but just thoughts ALL the time about seemingly everything. If I’m interacting with someone I’m thinking about the way I’m sitting or standing, what they think of me, if I’m responding normally, eye contact, that random thing that happened 10 yrs ago and made me feel bad, am I nodding too much?” It takes me out of the moment. Makes me wonder how ppl genuinely enjoy things for a prolonged amount of time.
Rick Murray 50 minutes ago
I find it mind blowing that people can have a period of "no thoughts". Like, you guys have an off switch?
#16
Reading for 30 minutes and having no clue what I just read.
Colleen Glim 1 hour ago
An indication that maybe I need to go find a new book. This one is not engaging me
#17
Countdown clock for everything. Apparently "getting ready to get ready to go" is not a normal thing.
#18
Wanting friends but unable to keep them bc I can’t ever seem to truly like a person once I get to know them.
TheOGpandaHavana 1 hour ago
The feeling always becomes mutual if I dare allow anyone to become more than a pleasant acquaintance.
#19
Getting overwhelmed by environmental noise but always needing the right background noises.
Toujin C'Thlu 1 hour ago
I like quiet, but absolute silence makes me feel like I'm in a horror movie
Colleen Glim 1 hour ago
No background noise except for the noise of the world continuing past outside my window. I work retail. My world is nothing but people and noise. I can’t even with that when I get home
#21
Constant overthinking, ruminating, worrying, intrusive, racing thoughts. Until my 30s I thought everyone had the same & were just sailing through life not bothered by it.
#22
Not wanting to brush my teeth!
Sally Moen 19 minutes ago
Add different ways to brush, including cheap electric toothbrushes, baby toothbrush (they are very tiny and soft), foam mouth swabs (used in hospitals and nursing homes for folks that cannot eat but still need their mouths cleaned), finger toothbrushes (similar to a rubber fingertip but with bristles on one side). Even a denture brush, but use lightly. Point is to have a variety of choices and like the other commentor here said, several flavors of toothpaste including non-sweetened (most regular toothpaste is sweetened with saccharin) and fruit flavored. I like to keep a box of baking soda open to use to brush my teeth for times when I cannot stand toothpaste for some reason.
TheOGpandaHavana 54 minutes ago (edited)
It's not about flavors for me, I rarely use toothpaste anyway. I can't keep a habit. I become adverse to the action until it becomes a compulsion, then it happens until the next compulsion period or sometimes fear works too
Load More Replies... #23
task initiation. 1. i cant do a task just by thinking i want to do it. i have to have an actual external push/drive. like cleaning my house, i mope around all day thinking i will clean i will clean. but tell me you be dropping by in 45 mins, and i can clean it all up. 2. I cant do anything alone, i need a body double to just be there with me even if they aren't doing the same thing im doing. 3. i cant just start and stop a task by my own. i could literally work all day with no breaks if no one tells me to do a bathroom break, or a meal break. so yeah. when I learned about that, I'm like, this is too complicated.
TheOGpandaHavana 48 minutes ago
So similar but it's more that if I stop to take a break, I won't be able to start again and sometimes it's almost impossible to stop even if I want/need to! I do things better alone than with someone but I definitely need external motivation.
#24
I don't like lights. I want the house dark no lights. My bedroom is very dark. That's where I want to be
#25
I can’t stand still, I have to rock side to side.
TheOGpandaHavana 1 hour ago
I'm constantly moving. It's so perplexing to be both extremely exhausted and feel like I can't stop moving or I'll explode.
#26
Extreme sensory issues. Have to be wearing socks 24/7. The air itself is a sensory issue.
TheOGpandaHavana 1 hour ago
I have extreme sensory issues for all of my senses. I'm the opposite about socks though! I hate them! I wear flip flops as much as possible outside and no socks/slippers inside.
#27
Saying exactly what I mean but then being called rude when I was being legitimately neutral.
#29
Over analyzing every interaction I have with another person. Rejection sensitivity. Extreme reactions to any type of music that tickles my brain and gives me a dopamine release.
TheOGpandaHavana 59 minutes ago (edited)
All of that is so painful! Even the music. I do get dopamine but I also am easily negatively influenced. 😞
#30
Inability to sleep before any event the next day no matter how unimportant it is
#31
High emotions for everything and having a hard time getting over things… I’d mad for days if you let me.
Nat Rich 2 hours ago
Oh I'm the opposite about getting over things and it annoys me. If I'm wronged I forget why and I struggle to hold a grudge. Which might sound good but some people deserve a grudge to be held.
TheOGpandaHavana 52 minutes ago
Haha I forget the reason but not the grudge feeling!
Load More Replies... #32
I can't listen when I'm making eye contact.
TheOGpandaHavana 1 hour ago
OMG this! Either you want me to LOOK like I'm paying attention or you want me to ACTUALLY listen but not look like I am but you definitely can't have both! Also, don't expect me to speak coherently if you want eye contact while I'm talking; I barely make sense without it. 😵
#33
Having to do two things at once in order to pay full attention to one of those things. Example: playing a game on my phone in order to be able to pay attention to a lecture or meeting.
#34
Hating obligations, they stress me out. Even fun ones.
#35
Coffee. I thought people were lying about their need for coffee in the morning because caffeine does nothing for me.
Colleen Glim 1 hour ago (edited)
Sometimes it’s more about the routine than it is about the caffeine. But don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee
#36
Over explaining 😭😭 I need to keep everything short and sweet but then I feel like I’m not getting my point across good enough.
Zig Zag Wanderer 2 hours ago (edited)
Because people ALWAYS get something about it wrong because they make assumptions. It's frustrating, and that's why I put as much information in the initial description as possible. Definitely makes it less easy to tell or understand, though, so it's counter-productive. Catch 22!
TheOGpandaHavana 39 minutes ago
And then they think you are being argumentative when you're simply trying to clarify and communicate effectively! It makes me more bonkers than I already am!!
Load More Replies... #37
Forgetting a person's name straight after they've told you.
TheOGpandaHavana 24 minutes ago
At this time in my "professional life", I REALLY REALLY need/wish I had the ability to remember people's names. It takes me months (or never!). I'm also face blind fora long time but definitely not as long as with names.
#38
Getting genuinely obsessed with something for a period of time only to then drop it and start the process all over again with something else that caught your interest.
#39
Predicting the end of movies, shows, conventions. Being human lie detector and not being able to put into words why I don’t like someone immediately.
#40
Captioned speech. I thought everybody spelled spoken words in their head???
Sally Moen 17 minutes ago
Closed captions used to be rare before the 1990s in the US, now it's so very common, and I'm very grateful.
#41
Needing lists of things. If I don’t have my checklist then i’ll probably forget half the things i was supposed to do.
#42
Intellectualizing emotions instead of processing them.
TheOGpandaHavana 1 hour ago
I don't even know what that means or what they are trying to say here. I have very little emotional regulation, so there is definitely an extreme lacking of intelligence applied to them. 😂
#43
Eating the same option for 3 weeks...then hating it for years 😭😂
Zig Zag Wanderer 2 hours ago
Ha ha! The number of times my cupboard or fridge gets filled with 'that thing I have to have all the time' once I suddenly stop wanting it is crazy!
Rick Murray 38 minutes ago
Three weeks? I took the same ready meal to work every day for nearly six years. Now the thought of it makes me nauseous. So I'm taking a different one (the same) to work every day....
TheOGpandaHavana 44 minutes ago
I cannot make myself eat something if it's not currently what I'm "obsessed" with and its always sad when I end up having to throw stuff out because my cravings have changed it I've tried to ignore what I want. My brain would rather starve.
#44
Hating ice breakers. For some reason people genuinely like those.
Nat Rich 2 hours ago
Do people like them though or do they just say they do because they want to say the right thing? I cannot imagine a world where people genuinely like those lol
TheOGpandaHavana 28 minutes ago (edited)
Agreed! Although I was at one meeting last year where I said something similar and I got a few confused non-committal responses from my "group", so it could be true! I was convinced up until that moment that ice breakers are universally despised.
Load More Replies... Sally Moen 13 minutes ago
The dreaded interview question "Tell me about yourself" used to throw me until I saw a YouTube video explaining that you can practice a short bit, and you don't need to actually tell them everything
#45
Maladaptive daydreaming, specially how it affected my memory.
TheOGpandaHavana 38 minutes ago
My problem is reading. I sometimes can't differentiate real and read memories.
#46
Behavioral pattern recognition and intuitively knowing what decisions people will make before they act. Also, having entire conversations in your head about hypothetical situations that could occur before you attend an event or have the actual conversation.
#48
I hate being in the kitchen doing anything if someone else is there😭
TheOGpandaHavana 24 minutes ago
I just hate being in the kitchen lol but extra if someone is there.
Toujin C'Thlu 1 hour ago (edited)
I feel like I can't do anything productive if someone else is in the room with me
#49
The constant second guessing of everything I do or feel, making things harder than they are, being able to feel what others are thinking and assuming they hate you, completely underestimating how long it takes to do things.
TheOGpandaHavana 22 minutes ago
I feel so seen with this one. I think more than any of the others. 😭
#50
Pattern recognition, re-reading the same sentence/question 10 times and still not understanding, reading a whole page in a book and not even knowing what i read, food hyperfixations, rumination, hating showering because it’s a “big task” for me, not doing anything before a work shift (even if it’s at 4pm) because i’m afraid i won’t have time, listening to the same song over and over, overstimulation by crowds/loudness, getting overwhelmed/frustrated REALLY easily, over analyzing, i could probably think of more.
#51
Never being able to remember people's names, forgetting words in the middle of speaking, losing track of what I was trying to write because I couldn't write fast enough and my brain won't slow down, forgeting appointment is, forgetting homework. Basically everything that has to do with working memory. I am very lucky to live in a time when supports are readily available and culturally acceptable.
#52
Justice sensitivity to the extent of self detriment.
#53
Remembering EVERY. THING. I was well into my thirties before I realized that most people do not remember every single detail of most situations. 😅
#54
Having to listen to something to stimulate my brain so i can go to sleep, otherwise ill just be up thinking about any and everything.
#55
Ruminating to the point it keeps me up at night and I make myself physically sick, avoiding eating certain foods altogether bc I don't like the texture, safe foods or "fixation meals", non-linear grief, lack of maintaining a self care schedule and lacking time management... I could keep going but yeah.
#56
CONSTANTLY misplacing/losing things and then consequentially having a full blown meltdown over not finding it as a full grown adult.
TheOGpandaHavana 30 minutes ago
I've gotten better on the second half of that but it also depends on my level of being overwhelmed at the time.
#57
Being able to know instantly when a new person is a not safe person.
#58
Being able to automatically identify other neurodivergent people.
#59
When people are talking interrupting to ask questions. I thought I was actively listening… turns out you have to let people finish their sentences?
Zig Zag Wanderer 2 hours ago
I have a friend (neurodivergent but doesn't realise it) who constantly does this. Unfortunately, his mind works so fast that he can't be patient enough to listen to it all. It outright becomes impossible to tell him a story because of it, unfortunately.
#60
Not ever having an agenda book or planner work for me longer than maybe three days😂
#61
Being gifted. I could read early, learn multiple languages from library books, do advanced college classes in middle school, and I was a speed reader.
Sally Moen 11 minutes ago
Turns out speed reading isn't a job skill needed these days. Nor is being able to read upside down text
#62
I am a synesthete – I feel different sounds in my body (pressure/vibration/pulling/...), which I only became aware of when I put on noise-cancelling headphones for the first time and all these bodily sensations suddenly stopped. The sensory overload caused by AuDHS therefore has a double impact.
#63
Randomly thinking “touch that object or something really bad will happen.”
TheOGpandaHavana 34 minutes ago
Haha! This was me as a kid all the time! It's rare now, but I'm still really superstitious about jinxes.
#64
Having to read someone's lips to understand what they are saying.😭😭😭
TheOGpandaHavana 32 minutes ago
I didn't know this about myself until COVID! I really struggle to understand people when I can't see their mouth moving. I thought it was because I'm not an auditory learner.
#65
Avoiding showering because I don’t like the feeling of wet hair. But I love being clean.
Sally Moen 9 minutes ago
I imagine the future of cleanliness will appeal to you then, with sonic showers already a reality.
#66
Derealization/depersonalization. Literally thought everyone had those, until I randomly started to ask around and everyone started to look at me like "???" when I described it.
#67
Feeling like I’m watching myself live in 3rd person.
#69
Being able to hear electricity.
#70
Organizing my shirts in the color of the rainbow with matching hangers.
#71
Chatter in my mind, always thinking always ruminating making up scenarios, making up entire new worlds, navigation skills, time anxiety and being soooo prompt, taking things literally, pattern recognition to point I can tell the future based on it 😅 ocd but messy too.
#72
Needing a plan for every single plan so i know what and when i can do my routine for getting ready and if there’s no plan im extremely confused and don’t know what to do.
#73
I did not realize people genuinely do not see an issue with things being moved/touched. I tell my coworkers constantly "if you use my stuff, put it back EXACTLY where you found it" but they just toss it on my cart instead. it makes me irrationally upset. It's MY STUFF, why are you touching it.
#74
Listening to a song 5000 times until you find a new fixation. Repetitive actions (I twirl my hair into a pattern repeatedly) without even thinking about it.
#75
Trying to understand why some people did what they did almost obsessively is so bad learnt to only care about WHAT HAPPENED not WHY it happened.
TheOGpandaHavana 13 minutes ago
I make my husband angry regularly by trying to understand why he did or didn't do something. He makes me angry regularly by not being interested in understanding why I did or didn't do something.
#77
Immediate and severe 2nd hand embarrassment even though it has nothing to do with me. Intense and complete full conversations in my head before speaking. Pacing while on the phone. Needing to do everything in order ie there are 3 houses- have to go to house 1, first house 2, second etc., watching the same movie, shows, or books that I know every word to on repeat., unable to wear mismatch socks without anxiety, cutting every nail and filing them because one nail broke.
#78
Getting irrationally upset and not being able to comprehend when someone doesn’t like the same things as me.
#79
Moving from room to room and cleaning it my mind was blown when I found out people don’t actually clean this way. I thought it was a flex now I’m cleaning paralyzed.
TheOGpandaHavana 10 minutes ago (edited)
I clean like those images of spider webs woven by spiders given caffeine and other stimulants. 😂
Zig Zag Wanderer 2 hours ago
Unfortunately, my cleaning paralysis has been ongoing for 60 years or more....
#83
Always counting 😭😭😭why am I counting how many times I typed A😭😭5 btw
Rick Murray 33 minutes ago
Yes. Half the time I forget what I'm counting so have to start again. Music is good for this, especially prog rock - one two three four five six seven one two three four five six seven...
#85
I thought everyone was aware of how loud they were crunching when eating crunchy things.
#86
My pedantic speech, everyone says I’m “well spoken” no, I have a large vocabulary and speak like this mainly because it brings me comfort knowing nothing I said is left for interpretation. Any misunderstanding is entirely the other person’s fault.
What do you think ?
Zig Zag Wanderer 2 hours ago
My biggest problem was discovering that most people don't think like me. They don't need to understand how things work. They're constantly amazed when I explain the things I have obsessed over, and worked out and they never noticed. It took me years to find this out, and by then ALL my friends are neurodivergent, because they can understand these obsessions!
David Paterson 6 minutes ago (edited)
Few if any of these are remotely "neurodivergent". I have almost all of them. Now excuse me while I publish a lecture on infinite numbers.
Rick Murray 6 minutes ago
An arcane set of food preferences that you've long since given up explaining - you make your own meals. Example? Broccoli - lovely 😊. Homemade cheddar sauce - amazing 😍. Homemade cheddar sauce on the broccoli - 😱 did I do something to upset you? But Mac&Cheese is fine because it's an entirely different texture... But don't extrapolate to thinking that bolognese on spaghetti is fine because no, it really isn't. I'll take my linguine with a light coating of butter, not oil or marge, yes I can tell the difference. (and so on 😪)
Zig Zag Wanderer 2 hours ago
My biggest problem was discovering that most people don't think like me. They don't need to understand how things work. They're constantly amazed when I explain the things I have obsessed over, and worked out and they never noticed. It took me years to find this out, and by then ALL my friends are neurodivergent, because they can understand these obsessions!
David Paterson 6 minutes ago (edited)
Few if any of these are remotely "neurodivergent". I have almost all of them. Now excuse me while I publish a lecture on infinite numbers.
Rick Murray 6 minutes ago
An arcane set of food preferences that you've long since given up explaining - you make your own meals. Example? Broccoli - lovely 😊. Homemade cheddar sauce - amazing 😍. Homemade cheddar sauce on the broccoli - 😱 did I do something to upset you? But Mac&Cheese is fine because it's an entirely different texture... But don't extrapolate to thinking that bolognese on spaghetti is fine because no, it really isn't. I'll take my linguine with a light coating of butter, not oil or marge, yes I can tell the difference. (and so on 😪)
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