Woman Gets Scolded By BIL For Refusing To Change Her Baby’s Name As Her Sister Wanted It
More than two thousand years ago, the great Greek thinker Aesop composed a fable about a dog that didn’t allow other animals to approach the hay on which it lay – even though, of course, it didn’t eat it itself. Since then, the phrase “dog in the manger” has become a catchphrase and we use it in a variety of cases.
For example, why not use for this story from the user u/Different-Feature-30, whose big sister literally begged her to give up the name she had chosen for her unborn daughter in favor of hers – but had not even conceived yet! Are you wondering how this can even happen? Then let’s read this story together!
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is pregnant with her first baby, a girl, and they’ve already picked a name for her
Image credits: Omar Lopez (not the actual photo)
The parents-to-be had already bought lots of kid stuff with this name too
Image credits: u/Different-Feature-30
However, the author’s big sister, whose biggest dream is to give birth too, begged her to give up this name in favor of her own probable daughter
Image credits: Anthony Tran (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Different-Feature-30
It turned out that the name she picked was also her sister and BIL’s favorite female baby name
Image credits: Dennis Acevedo (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Different-Feature-30
The mom-to-be nevertheless rejected this plea, stating that they won’t change anything
No, it’s actually quite simple – the Original Poster (OP) is pregnant with her first child, a girl, and she and her husband have already chosen a name for her – Wren. The choice of name was completely unanimous, and over the past couple of months the spouses have already become close to it. Well, you probably know how it happens. When the baby hasn’t yet been born, but you associate them exclusively with the future name.
Moreover, the parents-to-be have already bought a lot of kid stuff with this name. And so, they recently announced to relatives what the baby would be called – and the author’s big sister looked clearly upset. The thing is that she and her husband have been trying unsuccessfully to conceive a child for many years.
Recently, the couple underwent some special procedures to increase fertility – and now they are desperately hoping to have a baby soon. And, as it turned out, the favorite female name for both of them is Wren too! So the sister literally begged the OP to give up this name in favor of her not yet conceived, but probable, daughter.
However, to no avail. Our heroine consulted with her husband and said that they weren’t ready to give up the name they already love so much. The sister was even more upset, but found the strength to admit that she understood the OP well.
However, after some time, the author’s BIL made another (fruitless) attempt to сoax her somehow. But all he achieved was some doubt in the woman’s head. Which she tried to dispel by simply asking people online for advice.
Image credits: Neal E. Johnson (not the actual photo)
“It’s a complicated situation, really complicated. On the one hand, you can perfectly understand an older sister who wants to become a mother so much. On the other hand, here we have a real child who will be born in a few months – and depriving her of her chosen name over a hope is also wrong,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here.
“In my opinion, this woman did the right thing – she insisted on her own, but did it as correctly as possible in relation to her sister. Apparently, the sisters have always been on good terms, so the reaction of both women here is respectful and pretty calm. I must say, this doesn’t always happen. In any case, I do hope that the older sister will also become a mom soon – and will choose another, no less beautiful, name for her daughter. Or there will be two namesake cousins, why not?” Irina wonders.
By the way, commenters also asked the original poster what the problem was in naming both girls the same. According to the OP herself, this has never happened in their family, and they honor traditions. On the other hand, sooner or later any tradition can fall… Be that as it may, people are sincerely glad that the sisters didn’t make any drama about this. “It’s a tough situation and I’m glad you and sis can speak about it openly,” one of the commenters wrote.
In the end, no matter how harsh it may sound, but dreams are dreams, and real life is here and now. “I sympathize but a real baby takes precedent over an idea that may never come to fruition,” another commenter concluded. “That’s hard to hear. But at the end of the day, it’s your child. Name it what you want.”
By the way, disputes over names for an unborn baby don’t always end this way – just after they began. It’s enough to read at least this post of ours, where a future parent’s relative subjected the name they chose to merciless criticism. And without even explaining her reasons. If you also have a similar story, please feel free to share it here – in the comments section below the post.
People in the comments sided with the woman, and praised both sisters for not going overly dramatic in this case
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Sis had "a list of names" and Wren was just one of them. While OP has only one name chosen. I don't see the problem. Did Sis really think she'd have a dozen or so kids and use every name on her list?
I think once she heard that OP had chosen one of the names on her list, she became obsessed with that name in particular. She needs therapy.
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BIL is the only a*****e here. This was between sisters. Op's sister was hurt, but was also understanding of OP. I get wanting to back up your wife, but alienating your sister in law, especially when they've already reached an understanding? That is NOT the way to do it. It would have made more sense for him to come bull-raging in if she had mentioned the name to OP as a hopeful name and OP stole it... Though honestly? Even then unless they're all super close it still doesn't feel like his place.
No one can steal a name. They aren't copyrighted. It might be disappointing but it's not theft. And yes, BIL was out of line.
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Sis had "a list of names" and Wren was just one of them. While OP has only one name chosen. I don't see the problem. Did Sis really think she'd have a dozen or so kids and use every name on her list?
I think once she heard that OP had chosen one of the names on her list, she became obsessed with that name in particular. She needs therapy.
Load More Replies... BIL is the only a*****e here. This was between sisters. Op's sister was hurt, but was also understanding of OP. I get wanting to back up your wife, but alienating your sister in law, especially when they've already reached an understanding? That is NOT the way to do it. It would have made more sense for him to come bull-raging in if she had mentioned the name to OP as a hopeful name and OP stole it... Though honestly? Even then unless they're all super close it still doesn't feel like his place.
No one can steal a name. They aren't copyrighted. It might be disappointing but it's not theft. And yes, BIL was out of line.
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