Mother Imposes “No Sleeping With BF” Rule On Her Grown Up Daughter, Asks Online If She’s Wrong
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Parents are parents for life, no matter how old their children are. And, of course, who hasn’t heard the famous phrase “You’ll understand me once you have your own children”? But it is thought that with years it is getting easier for parents and their children to get along. However, there are still things that are hard to agree on no matter the age. And as we get older, the disagreements between parents and children could determine a broken relationship.
More info: reddit.com
It takes a lot for a parent to realize that their child is all grown up, but this mother sure takes her time
Image credits: verkeorg
One Reddit user, who is a mother to her already grown-up daughter, is asking whether she is being too sensitive about the idea of her daughter sleeping with her boyfriend when they come to visit her family.
And this mother is not the only one who is looking for answers in this situation. Believe it or not, but debates about whether parents should let their kids sleep with their boyfriend/girlfriend are quite frequent on Google.
This mother asked Reddit users if she’s wrong for imposing her “no boyfriend in bed” rule on her grown-up daughter
Image credits: u/upsetmother12
What draws attention to this particular case is the reactions of other Reddit users. In almost 4.5 thousand comments people are discussing the boundaries parents and children should accept based on their own experience.
Image credits: u/upsetmother12
What intensifies the discussion is some personal information that the woman shares with the audience: her daughter is a 25-year woman who already lives with her 26-year-old boyfriend. So what is all the fuss about you might think?
As the mother and her husband are certain that there should be no sleeping around before the marriage, they do not allow her daughter to sleep with her boyfriend when they come to visit the family.
Image credits: u/upsetmother12
Her daughter, being a respectful human being, decided to comply with her parents’ wishes by not visiting them as often as they would want. This, of course, got her mother upset and lost as the only people who think that this is all right and her daughter is being simply rude is herself and her husband.
A lot of Reddit commentators agree that by flashing her “no sleeping before marriage” card, the mother is jeopardizing her relationship with her daughter.
Image credits: u/upsetmother12
It seems that the main concern with which most of the parents face, especially those who raise daughters, is an unplanned pregnancy. But as the times change, the stigma of becoming a teen parent is also changing.
Instead of saying a brief and strict “no”, most of the parents are now looking for advice on how to talk to their children and how to prepare them for the next chapter of their lives. As we can see, open discussion on various platforms could be one of them.
The online group users were very supportive… of the daughter
Image credits: u/upsetmother12
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I don't think it's a right or wrong situation, you have your rules but your rules have consequences. If you're not comfortable with your daughter sleeping with her partner in your house then you need to accept that she will not visit you as much.
You said it short and clear, rules have consequences
As someone above mentioned that is less about 'punishment' from the daughter and more that the parents 'Feel they' are 'entitled' to more visits.
I also get a feeling that this isn't the only thing she's done to try and control her daughter.
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Shes not controlling her daughter she is enforcing a moral belief she has and her daughter refuses to respect that and feels offended by her mons beliefs its stupid.
Also she is asusming that they are going to get married. What if they dont or they take many years? Would she want them to sleep apart forever?
Exactly...and if they have children out of wedlock? Will they still impose the no sharing a bed rule? This seems to be more about the control that they no longer have.
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Sleep apart when in her house. Her house her rules!
Good way to keep your daughter away
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If her daughter refuses to respect her mothers wishes and cant sleep in separate rooms for a short visit then she is being petty not the mom.
the mother is crazy bitch when obviously they are living together and sleeping together for years... it doesn't mean they would necessarily have sex in that house, they just want to sleep together... and she does respect her wishes - she stays the hell out of there which is exactly what I would do but fortunately I don't have crazy mother
Dale, if you think a rule is more important than your daughter, this is exactly how it will end.
I can't imagine what it would be like to value some outdated religious dogma over a strong and loving relationship with your own daughter. How sad that this woman cannot recognise what she is doing to the relationship with her daughter.
And we're not even talking about someone who's 18 or 19. We're talking about someone well into adulthood. It's even worse.
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It's not a matter of adulthood. It's a matter of her mother's wishes which I presume has to to do with religious or moral beliefs. Either way it's the parents home. Most of you must be atheists saying the daughter should f**k whoever she wants even though it's under her parents roof. That's what's wrong these days with people. People go overboard on the freedoms given in this country and not respect others especially their own parents.
Idiot
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We're also not talking about the mother saying she cant visit or have a relationship we are talking about respecting her mothers moral beliefs, if her mom was vegan and said hey dont bring beef into my house, or Muslim and said no pork in my house I have a feeling all the comments might be different, if you want to visit your mom respect her beliefs and slept in separate rooms for the duration of the stay no big deal.
Yeah so that don't want to do it. As the top comment said, rules have consequences. They're literally 25-26 FFS and been together for 3 years
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I'm 36, and I still respect my parents I dont understand the issue here. Respect her wishes dont be a cry baby and visit your parents.
she's not disrespecting her parents or "being a cry baby" as you so eloquently put it. She's following their rules when she visits but not visiting as often because she wants to sleep with her partner OP / mom on the other hand, is being a cry baby. she sets rules that disrespect her daughter's relationship and then claims because daughter doesn't want to visit as much. She complains that daughter is "punishing her" when all daughter is doing is respecting mom's rules but also respecting her own adult relationship
But they are respecting the rules....by staying away. They don't agree with the rules, that's not disrespectful. It would be disrespectful to go and stay in the house and sneak in to the same bed during the night. Stayig away is not disrespectful. Notice the mother doesn't mention making effort to visit her children, only that her son visits regularly and the daughter doesn't
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You're a child that didn't grow up. You just want to take vengeance on the parents.
Robert, not all parents deserve respect.
It's assuming her parents are good people since they didn't mention anything bad
Well, since her mom is the one providing all the information, that’s unlikely to happen.
She can't because she thinks it's her daughter who's doing it.
The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction!
actually the cross has nothing to do with it. the Bible has nothing to say about sleeping with your partner in your parents' home
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Not necessarily a religious objection. It is simply old time morality. The parents haven't actually accepted that and I think that the daughter needs to come to her senses!
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The morality is not old its just that people are wanting to do away with it so they can do what they want.
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If they had a "strong and loving relationship", respect would be part of it. Respect for each other and their standards. It is not "Some outdated religious dogma" It is MOM! And if she doesn't like her MOM! (Happy mothers day by the way!) Then it is the daughter that is damaging the relationship.
The whole "who waits three months between seeing their parents" is ridiculous. Before covid, I saw my parents.... twice a year. I can't really afford to travel and didn't have a ton of vacation time. Which is true for most younger people.
Sounds like overbearing parents.
I think you spelled twäts wrong :)
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Nup. Overbearing parents would simply not accept their daughter back while she was 'living in sin'.
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I guess you didn't respect yours.
On top of that, I don't know why, but I have like a slight suspicion that they might not be visiting because of other reasons, too... Like the way her daughter left after her mom confronted her, just the way it was written makes me picture that the daughter was tired of listening. I don't know the full situation, but I don't see anything wrong from either sides. The mom established rules, the daughter obeyed. Again, it comes with consequences.
Presumably they see his family too so by expecting them to visit every three months she's expecting them to take trips every 6 weeks or so (equal time with his family) and that's a lot of time and effort. I'm also not seeing any indication that they are willing to travel to see her, just that she is supposed to travel to see them. That alone is something of an indication of their relationship - the daughter is the one expected to put all the effort in.
That’s an excellent point! Do the parents visit the daughter and boyfriend? If so, do the parents have a problem with them sharing a bed then?
By my experience usually families expect you to visit but barely ever visit you
Same. I only see my parents about twice a year.
I agree. If she is sleeping with them it means that tmshe lives far away. We live 3km away from my inlaws. It would be bad to visit them only every 3 months. But i live about 2000km away from my parents. If I am lucky i visit twice a year.
I don't think it's a right or wrong situation, you have your rules but your rules have consequences. If you're not comfortable with your daughter sleeping with her partner in your house then you need to accept that she will not visit you as much.
You said it short and clear, rules have consequences
As someone above mentioned that is less about 'punishment' from the daughter and more that the parents 'Feel they' are 'entitled' to more visits.
I also get a feeling that this isn't the only thing she's done to try and control her daughter.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Shes not controlling her daughter she is enforcing a moral belief she has and her daughter refuses to respect that and feels offended by her mons beliefs its stupid.
Also she is asusming that they are going to get married. What if they dont or they take many years? Would she want them to sleep apart forever?
Exactly...and if they have children out of wedlock? Will they still impose the no sharing a bed rule? This seems to be more about the control that they no longer have.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Sleep apart when in her house. Her house her rules!
Good way to keep your daughter away
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
If her daughter refuses to respect her mothers wishes and cant sleep in separate rooms for a short visit then she is being petty not the mom.
the mother is crazy bitch when obviously they are living together and sleeping together for years... it doesn't mean they would necessarily have sex in that house, they just want to sleep together... and she does respect her wishes - she stays the hell out of there which is exactly what I would do but fortunately I don't have crazy mother
Dale, if you think a rule is more important than your daughter, this is exactly how it will end.
I can't imagine what it would be like to value some outdated religious dogma over a strong and loving relationship with your own daughter. How sad that this woman cannot recognise what she is doing to the relationship with her daughter.
And we're not even talking about someone who's 18 or 19. We're talking about someone well into adulthood. It's even worse.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
It's not a matter of adulthood. It's a matter of her mother's wishes which I presume has to to do with religious or moral beliefs. Either way it's the parents home. Most of you must be atheists saying the daughter should f**k whoever she wants even though it's under her parents roof. That's what's wrong these days with people. People go overboard on the freedoms given in this country and not respect others especially their own parents.
Idiot
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
We're also not talking about the mother saying she cant visit or have a relationship we are talking about respecting her mothers moral beliefs, if her mom was vegan and said hey dont bring beef into my house, or Muslim and said no pork in my house I have a feeling all the comments might be different, if you want to visit your mom respect her beliefs and slept in separate rooms for the duration of the stay no big deal.
Yeah so that don't want to do it. As the top comment said, rules have consequences. They're literally 25-26 FFS and been together for 3 years
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I'm 36, and I still respect my parents I dont understand the issue here. Respect her wishes dont be a cry baby and visit your parents.
she's not disrespecting her parents or "being a cry baby" as you so eloquently put it. She's following their rules when she visits but not visiting as often because she wants to sleep with her partner OP / mom on the other hand, is being a cry baby. she sets rules that disrespect her daughter's relationship and then claims because daughter doesn't want to visit as much. She complains that daughter is "punishing her" when all daughter is doing is respecting mom's rules but also respecting her own adult relationship
But they are respecting the rules....by staying away. They don't agree with the rules, that's not disrespectful. It would be disrespectful to go and stay in the house and sneak in to the same bed during the night. Stayig away is not disrespectful. Notice the mother doesn't mention making effort to visit her children, only that her son visits regularly and the daughter doesn't
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
You're a child that didn't grow up. You just want to take vengeance on the parents.
Robert, not all parents deserve respect.
It's assuming her parents are good people since they didn't mention anything bad
Well, since her mom is the one providing all the information, that’s unlikely to happen.
She can't because she thinks it's her daughter who's doing it.
The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction!
actually the cross has nothing to do with it. the Bible has nothing to say about sleeping with your partner in your parents' home
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Not necessarily a religious objection. It is simply old time morality. The parents haven't actually accepted that and I think that the daughter needs to come to her senses!
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
The morality is not old its just that people are wanting to do away with it so they can do what they want.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
If they had a "strong and loving relationship", respect would be part of it. Respect for each other and their standards. It is not "Some outdated religious dogma" It is MOM! And if she doesn't like her MOM! (Happy mothers day by the way!) Then it is the daughter that is damaging the relationship.
The whole "who waits three months between seeing their parents" is ridiculous. Before covid, I saw my parents.... twice a year. I can't really afford to travel and didn't have a ton of vacation time. Which is true for most younger people.
Sounds like overbearing parents.
I think you spelled twäts wrong :)
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Nup. Overbearing parents would simply not accept their daughter back while she was 'living in sin'.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I guess you didn't respect yours.
On top of that, I don't know why, but I have like a slight suspicion that they might not be visiting because of other reasons, too... Like the way her daughter left after her mom confronted her, just the way it was written makes me picture that the daughter was tired of listening. I don't know the full situation, but I don't see anything wrong from either sides. The mom established rules, the daughter obeyed. Again, it comes with consequences.
Presumably they see his family too so by expecting them to visit every three months she's expecting them to take trips every 6 weeks or so (equal time with his family) and that's a lot of time and effort. I'm also not seeing any indication that they are willing to travel to see her, just that she is supposed to travel to see them. That alone is something of an indication of their relationship - the daughter is the one expected to put all the effort in.
That’s an excellent point! Do the parents visit the daughter and boyfriend? If so, do the parents have a problem with them sharing a bed then?
By my experience usually families expect you to visit but barely ever visit you
Same. I only see my parents about twice a year.
I agree. If she is sleeping with them it means that tmshe lives far away. We live 3km away from my inlaws. It would be bad to visit them only every 3 months. But i live about 2000km away from my parents. If I am lucky i visit twice a year.