Mom Tweets About Throwing Away Her Kids’ Halloween Candy, People Come For Her And Call Her Cruel
Trick-or-treating—setting off on Halloween night in costume and ringing doorbells to demand treats—has been a tradition in the US and other parts of the world for more than a century.
And while philosophy professor Agnes Callard allows her kids to take part in it, she thinks the fun has to end right there, without indulging yourself in the fruits of your efforts.
A few days ago, Callard tweeted that her 9-year-old child was thrilled to find she hadn’t thrown away their candy overnight, as she normally does. This year, the mom apparently forgot.
But after she shared her take on Halloween candy, Callard started receiving accusations of abuse, and even got compared to the infamous Bean Dad, a man who “invested” 6 hours into teaching his 9-year-old to open a can.
Halloween has come and gone and some of those who went trick-or-treating are still enjoying its rewards
Image credits: Charles Parker (not the actual photo)
But one mom told Twitter she doesn’t allow her kids to hold onto the candy
Image credits: AgnesCallard
Her thoughts immediately went viral
Image credits: AgnesCallard
Out of all her takes she shared online, Callard didn’t expect this one would be met with such backlash. “In fact, I have tweeted about this before and no one cared,” she told Bored Panda.
And so far, she has not changed her mind. “Judging from the responses, other parents tend to adopt measures such as: confiscating the candy and then doling it out bit by bit over a long period; allowing children to select a few pieces and then throwing the rest away; having children trade it for toys; giving it away to children’s friends; eating it themselves, etc. Few, if any, parents have endorsed allowing children to gorge themselves on candy at will for as long as the candy lasts,” she explained. “This suggests that the norm is for parents to take away their children’s Halloween candy in one way or another, though most parents prefer to be less explicit or direct about what they are doing than I am.”
Some of her opponents say that if she feels this way about Halloween candy, the mom shouldn’t allow her kids to go trick-or-treating in the first place. But Callard isn’t impressed by this line of thinking. “That seems like a poor argument for a number of reasons, but I don’t think self-defense is warranted here,” she said, urging everyone interested to read her essay in The New York Times called If I Get Canceled, Let Them Eat Me Alive.
“At first my kids wanted to go onto Twitter to defend me (I guess they had not read my NYT oped), and it was hard to restrain them from doing so,” Callard added. “So when, last night, my 14-year-old son, having taken some time to reflect on the mania of the mob, came out with the ‘I wonder how many times I’ve been part of this sort of thing and not realized it?’ I was a very proud parent,” the mom added.
And have started a heated discussion
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Being a philosophy professor, Callard gave BuzzFeed what the publisher called a mini-lecture about the whole ordeal, and we think you’ll be interested to see it too.
“There seems to be a need to build a kind of narrative around this candy thing; it’s somehow important to people to be able to read this as a sign in a larger story, or a clue as to some deeper fact about me, even when this requires substantial interpretive creativity. The emotions that sustain this reaction, which are sometimes ecstatic, depend on the public development of this story. So I understand the reaction to my tweet as an attempt to retell my story, to cast me as a different person in light of the anger generated by the tweet. In a way, it’s almost a protective behavior: once that anger is felt, and once the crowd has committed to it, it has to be justified. Or else the community’s moral sensibilities are called into question.”
Some even shared real-life encounters with her
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What an absolute wet, boiled, soggy, gray, hotdog, may all her children vote to put her in the worst nursing home there is
At first I thought it was a troll, but judging by the testimonies, this horrible person really exists... Poor children!
Same. I'm appalled that she put this online for the whole world to see, thinking it was perfectly normal behaviour.
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But this disgusting useless woman will not understand why her children won't be here for her when she will be old as f**k, and alone. And will probably still think she did the right thing .
mY kiDs aRe sO unGrAtEFuL aFteR eVerYtHinG I diD. mY oNLy miSTaKe wAs sPoiLiNG tHeM.
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She acts like there aren't any other options, she has to throw it out. That's wasteful. Very black or white. She could donate the candy, or just give one bag per day. Maybe even just limiting how much candy they actually take while out trick or treating. This seems pretty manipulative, kinda borderline abusive. Once her kids are all grown up, they might go no contact. I wouldn't blame them.
Speaking of other options -- I remember hearing about a dentist who would buy kids Halloween candy. They'd earn like a dollar or so a pound. And then the dentist would donate the candy to soldiers or homeless shelters or other charities.
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in case anyone was confused about Bean Dad (like i was), he let his 9yo daughter go hungry for six hours because he wanted her to use a can opener herself, without guidance, and then thought it was inspiring to post about. here: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eq1986KXIAA8IZ0?format=jpg&name=large https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eq199eKXYAEZfCy?format=jpg&name=large
How weird. I too taught my son that the world was unfair. I also taught him that within the walls of our house I would endeavor to be fair, always have his back, expect the best from him, and set the bar higher for myself as a mother. This woman is teaching her children not to respect people's property and that she believes in double standards. They are only young for a short time but they will remember the pain she caused them forever.
That's awesome that you do that! I wish more people felt compelled to live by a higher standard for those they love, rather than deciding: "Life's unfair, so why bother trying?" Or worse: "Why can't I be cruel too?"
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A lot of parents don't want their kids having all that candy. Some people do "Switch Witch" which is a more fun version of this tradition, where you leave your candy on the kitchen table, and "Switch Witch" comes in the night and takes it, and leaves a toy in its place. Other parents ration the candy, or let the kid choose a certain number of pieces to keep, and bag the rest up to donate to the food bank, or to "donate to the children's hospital, so all the sick kids who couldn't go trick-or-treating can have candy too". Sometimes parenting doesn't mean making your kid happy, but rather helping them understand why they shouldn't always have everything they want. Just taking it all and binning it is kind of evil, tho.
Why not just teach them how to moderate? Teach them the importance of stretching out a given resource to last? That’s what my parents did. Why take it away at all?
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I want to assure everyone this is NOT a Jewish thing. My Jewish family members love dressing up and free candy just as much as (nearly) everyone else. This egg donor is just a 8it¢h.
Yes! And "reverse Christmas"??? You don't need that, Jews and Christians aren't exact opposites. Different, sure, but that's why we celebrate Hanukkah
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i don’t care WHAT excuses that lady has if she was MY mom she would be getting a face full of my tears, other various fluids, and maybe some razors
Eh, too aggressive, for me. I would just just enjoy bringing it up like a normal behavior in front of her friends, and neighbors and watch her squirm. This woman lives, and breathes, adoration. Public shame would be delicious.
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How to ensure your children never trust you and have lifelong issues with junk food, chapter 1... Just teach your kids moderation instead. Or don't let them go to too many houses if you don't want them to have too much candy. There are so many better alternatives to this nonsense.
She's a narcissist. Her husband needs to wake up and get his kids out of that situation.
And this woman will be wondering why her kids - at such an early age - are always down at the courthouse researching which nursing home has the most judgements against it.
People like her will treat her kids like this but act like they dont want to "be mean and discipline them"
I always was allowed full access to my candy. I binged some, rationed some. As an adult, I never had an issue with binging or hoarding junk food, though I'll admit I didn't have the healthiest diet and chose junk food for snacks too often. I'm currently following a strict diet to lose weight for medical reasons, and it's going great. Willpower with food is fairly easy, and I easily resist my cravings for sweets. I can see myself following a healthy, balanced diet with junk food in moderation after my weight loss period is over. I love Halloween and enjoyed bonding with my very healthy and loving partner last weekend. We went to some great haunted attractions, it evoked all the magic that made my childhood so happy. I gave out candy to kids, and only had one fun sized bar as a cheat on my diet. Also, my parents are still in my life. In fact, I chose their favorite candy bars out of a bowl to give them. If you want to use my story as a reason to ban your kids from eating candy, well, I can't stop you.
Of course this is a philosophy teacher… never met a post-grad “philosopher” who wasn’t deliberately contrarian 🙄
I broke up with a philosophy teacher friend because they literally couldn't think outside of quotes and concepts from the philosophers they admired. They would get to the point of anger and insults if anyone argued views that didn't fit their box. Other bad traits included berating students who came in sick but also penalizing anyone who missed class regardless of the reason.
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I feel so sorry for her children. Oh, and of course, she's a philosophy professor. Of course she is. At least that explains why she's such a pretentious, egotistical nightmare who thinks she's smarter than you. Did her husband leave? Or has she abused him so badly that he's mentally broken and stays out of sheer hopelessness like many DA victims do?
Given that she openly talks about her lover in public while he's there, I'd say she's broken him. Or possibly they're polyamorous. But more likely he's staying for the kids.
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Yes, go trick-or-treating! And when you come home, I'll throw it all to trash, because it's tradition. Hope this person is just a troll, because I don't see any logical reason for this. Too much candy at once? Ration it, or donate something to food bank. Throwing it into trash is idiotic. Not to mention what children think about it.
Nope. She actually legit is that terrible. Read the article more closely, people who actually knew her irl posted about how screwed up she is.
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We used to let our daughter choose some favourites and for the rest we paid her $5/lb. The ‘sold’ ones we dropped off at a homeless shelter.
This is my favorite solution. Naturally gets you to agree to part with the lower value candy without feeling forced, and gets you to be mindful about which junk food is really tasty enough to eat
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Sometimes I feel like I'm not a good mom because I don't keep a super organized home and I don't make dinner every night and all that... and then I read about moms like these and I just want to hug my kid because WHY. Why on earth would you be actively and willfully cruel to someone who, in their very short life, has had nothing but love for you?
As an ex teacher the line is whether you want the best for your child. You can be confused, poor, mentally ill or plain thick, but if you care.... Children can tell. Other adults too - and they will help
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What a waste. Please donate to a local homeless shelter or other charity.
As a person who is (mostly) recovered from an ED and a recovering alcoholic...this is a major contributor to BOTH situations because the covert behavior and secrecy and shame (which all contribute to the cycle that makes you keep doing it) is somehow...perversely celebrated? This is why mental and psychological abuse should be a crime in all states (it's generally not)
Wow... What a pitiful, spiteful person. I'm inclined to believe the tweets about her being openly unfaithful as well, because she is clearly a toxic narcissist.
What an egotistical, selfish excuse for a parent. A parent can set limits without being this kind of a jerk.
It's pretty crazy, because if she showed up an put in the effort at work, got her cheque for the work she did, and her bank threw away whatever she received, she'd be outraged. She clearly doesn't understand that A) someone worked to pay for that candy, and B) the kiddos worked at getting dressed up and travelling around the neighbourhood and being nice to strangers to collect it. It's their intro to capitalism but the reward is something a child can appreciate. Mom's ruining these kids' relationships with her, with food, and with working.
This woman reeks of narcissism, and I feel sorry for her kids who are probably still too young to really get that her behavior is cruel and abnormal. This is coming from someone who had an emotionally abusive mother himself and even she never messed with my candy.
Halloween is a wonderful time to teach children about moderation and (an attempt at) self control but these actual villains just wanna abuse their kids instead. Wild.
I'm imagining one of my aunts who had a repeating for making her easter eggs last until Christmas
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As someone who was never allowed to go trick or treating (Mom was afraid of drugs in the candy, she got one of those before) this is upsetting. Why let them go if you are just gonna throw them away? Ruining the fun. Anyway, since my mom doesn't let us go trick or treating, she hides big bags of candy in the house, and the one who finds the most gets 50 dollars :)
Proof positive that those in the "mental health" field are often more sick and twisted than those they pretext want to help.
What a waste of money. Why take her kids to trick or treat if she’s going to throw everything. What’s the lesson she supposedly is teaching to her kids????
Poor kiddos and what a waste of candy as well if im honest makes me angry I'd at least donate candy to people Like every Halloween I go trick or treating and then I go to the children's hospital and give the kids candy and yes I ask for the parents permission and they love it seeing their kids be happy it brings me so much joy.
Apparently she has not thought far enough into the future to realize that her kids will be picking out her nursing home. Just wait until she sees it, they roll her through the doors, never to return.
I wish the OP was my mother! So I could tell her 'I wish was adopted you crazy narcissistic nut bag!'
You know those stories from people that go "I met this older person & their family is so cruel to never visit." It's really past time to rethink who the cruel one is.
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Wow. She'll need 3 jobs to pay for therapy, but she probably doesn't believe in that either🙄. She's gonna be one of those people that die alone in their home and get eaten by their pets...except for the part where it's a shame her kids abandoned her. Imagine thinking you're cool for treating your children like c**p and teasing them by allowing them to get the candy knowing full well that you're only going to throw it away so they probably make themselves sick trying to eat as much as they can in one night. That sounds like excellent behavior to pass on to the next generation.
Can't exactly call it abuse, but I do feel it's a bit extreme. Should ration their candy instead, to teach them self control and budgeting skills.
Errr.... you can just ration out their candy over a long period of time? We did that without thinking twice, b/c we were poor and candy had to last! So Halloween candy had to last till Easter, Easter candy had to last till Halloween!
How dare she they worked hard for that candy it’s one thing to limit it and make sure they know that it’s bc if they eat too much candy they won’t feel well but it’s horrible to throw it all away good grief
Dang. My parents did the same thing to me! So messed up. But it didn't put me into years of therapy or give me an eating disorder or unhealthy relationship with food (tho it totally did for my sister🤔). I do have a strong love for Halloween now...and I give my kids the freedom to do what they will with their haul after I check it, of course!
I hope her NEIGHBORS read this c**p. Yes, they pay MONEY to buy that candy! And yes, they give it away. But their intention is to bring JOY to children, not frustration, anger and resentment. If I were her neighbor, I'd gather the rest of the whole neighborhood and go ask to be reimbursed. And then I'd sneak candy to her kids! In NOVEMBER. Seems like she enjoys sh***ing on people that trust her. WOW. MOMMIE DEAREST ANYONE??
Maybe, just maybe, don't go out on Halloween night for the candy! Or better yet, give it to a dentist who then sends it overseas to a place that doesn't have proper healthcare.
My opinion, don't let them go trick or treating if you don't want them to have candy. And these kids should turn about and make it fair play. Take her money and credit/debit cards and shred them to teach her a lesson on moral fiber and whatnot.
I love how she makes multiple different comments defending herself on different levels of intellect. As if she is above everyone else and we don't understand what's shes saying. Oh we get it. You have serious control issues with your kids and they sent from hating you to wanting to defend you and when that didn't fly you tried the intellectual train of thought. Amazingly she's wrong in each and every one of them.
People out here really running peoples day on the one day im not doing it myself. What a job stealer
Plus, what if other children knock on her door to get candy? Does she give them a lecture on the evil of sweets and send them on their way with a flea in the ear only to return later and toilet paper the living f out of her house of unhappy offspring? Vile baggage.
If you don't want your children to have candy, don't let them trick or treat. Personally I'd dread the crazy sugar overdose and sit down with them and let them know the sweets were going to be rationed because then they'd last longer and give them a decent amount each day. .
Look, I grew up with a lot of abuse. If i got into the broken bones and molestation among other things people would complain about trauma dumping. I know all about terrible parents, abuse, and environments that resentment festers within. 100000% these kinds of parents absolutely want to end up in a nursing home at best.
As many have said, the kids will grow up hiding candy and binging any chance they get. I had a friend who was never allowed anything sweet. We're talking everything the family made had honey substitute for sugar, all homemade wheat flour, etc (even their pancakes were sans syrup). After her first real babysitting job, she went to the store and used all her money to buy nothing but soda, chips and candy (all of which she had never tasted. $30 worth (which bought a lot in the early '80s). It was half gone by the time her mother found out and she was forced to to return the rest to the store without a refund. The mother told the store to never sell anything else to her in the future, and she wasn't allowed to babysit again, or do anything that would result in her being paid directly. The mother even lectured me about it because I knew ahead of time about the plan and neither stopped her nor tattled.
People who have children because they feel powerless and need someone to have power over are the worst. What went wrong in your childhood that you grew up and decided “my parents did it to me, so imma have kids and do it to them”? Answer: nothing. Plenty of people have traumatic childhoods and choose to not perpetuate the cycle. The human race deserves nothing less than extinction.
So my brother and his wife buy books at thrift stores around town for all their kids and then sell the books to the kids for their Halloween candy. The kids get to keep some candy, get books they want to read, and my brother then takes the candy the kids purchased books with and goes to give it to other trick or treaters.
One aspect that wasn't mentioned is that the neighbors went out of their way to buy candy and give it out only for 'Mommy' to throw it away. What a slap in the face to everyone in the neighborhood who made an effort. Not diminishing the rest of the whole situation, but pile this on top the dung heap.
This is exactly what W***y Wonka's dad did to him as a kid in the remake. Only he burned the candy in the fireplace.
When I was growing up, my mom was what kids today would call a 'crunchy' mom. She did a lot of research about food and ingredients and would only buy organic food. Candy was a big deal in my house. My mom would only buy 100% organic candy because she was worried that any other candy would have bad effects on our health. But, she would never deprive us of candy. 9 year old me was happy with my off-brand candies because it was all I'd ever known. My mom also threw away or donated our Halloween candy (she picked out whatever had natural ingredients and let me keep that), but she had a good reason for doing so, and it isn't like I never had any candy. Because of my experiences, I don't want to be quick to judge, but it sounds like this mother never lets her children have any candy, which is ridiculous. Let kids be kids. If you have a legitimate reason for doing this, sit down and tell your kids so they don't feel deprived.
I hope she enjoys the crappy nursing home her kids are going to stick her in and never visit.
What absolutely narcissistic, psychopathic b**** this woman is. Abject cruelty is the point. Honestly her husband should file for divorce and sole custody of the children because she is a worthless POS. It's like she's experimenting on her children as if they were Pavlov's dog. Seriously she is a sick and twisted kind of mentally ill and should not be allowed to have contact with her children.
My mom always throws away any sugary things the DAY after we get them, and she’s just like “oh all moms do this it’s perfectly normal” 🙄
Probably not around, i know i wouldn't if the mom is like that
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Please read the comments from people with eating disorders to educate yourself on how controlling behavior around food is a trigger for later problems.
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Only it is absolutely well-documented that telling kids they cannot have one whole category of food, that some foods are bad etc, gives people eating disorders. Just because your parents didn't do that with your sister (that you know off) and she developed an eating disorder anyway, doesn't mean that this is an excellent way of a) your children indeed developing an eating disorder and b) absolutely making your children resent you. There are other reasons to ensure your children do not eat their entire Halloween candy in one go
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it's not even about that. She didn't just forbid them to eat candy. She sent them to collect candies and then took them away. That's cruel and vile.
Load More Replies... What an absolute wet, boiled, soggy, gray, hotdog, may all her children vote to put her in the worst nursing home there is
At first I thought it was a troll, but judging by the testimonies, this horrible person really exists... Poor children!
Same. I'm appalled that she put this online for the whole world to see, thinking it was perfectly normal behaviour.
Load More Replies... But this disgusting useless woman will not understand why her children won't be here for her when she will be old as f**k, and alone. And will probably still think she did the right thing .
mY kiDs aRe sO unGrAtEFuL aFteR eVerYtHinG I diD. mY oNLy miSTaKe wAs sPoiLiNG tHeM.
Load More Replies... She acts like there aren't any other options, she has to throw it out. That's wasteful. Very black or white. She could donate the candy, or just give one bag per day. Maybe even just limiting how much candy they actually take while out trick or treating. This seems pretty manipulative, kinda borderline abusive. Once her kids are all grown up, they might go no contact. I wouldn't blame them.
Speaking of other options -- I remember hearing about a dentist who would buy kids Halloween candy. They'd earn like a dollar or so a pound. And then the dentist would donate the candy to soldiers or homeless shelters or other charities.
Load More Replies... in case anyone was confused about Bean Dad (like i was), he let his 9yo daughter go hungry for six hours because he wanted her to use a can opener herself, without guidance, and then thought it was inspiring to post about. here: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eq1986KXIAA8IZ0?format=jpg&name=large https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eq199eKXYAEZfCy?format=jpg&name=large
How weird. I too taught my son that the world was unfair. I also taught him that within the walls of our house I would endeavor to be fair, always have his back, expect the best from him, and set the bar higher for myself as a mother. This woman is teaching her children not to respect people's property and that she believes in double standards. They are only young for a short time but they will remember the pain she caused them forever.
That's awesome that you do that! I wish more people felt compelled to live by a higher standard for those they love, rather than deciding: "Life's unfair, so why bother trying?" Or worse: "Why can't I be cruel too?"
Load More Replies... A lot of parents don't want their kids having all that candy. Some people do "Switch Witch" which is a more fun version of this tradition, where you leave your candy on the kitchen table, and "Switch Witch" comes in the night and takes it, and leaves a toy in its place. Other parents ration the candy, or let the kid choose a certain number of pieces to keep, and bag the rest up to donate to the food bank, or to "donate to the children's hospital, so all the sick kids who couldn't go trick-or-treating can have candy too". Sometimes parenting doesn't mean making your kid happy, but rather helping them understand why they shouldn't always have everything they want. Just taking it all and binning it is kind of evil, tho.
Why not just teach them how to moderate? Teach them the importance of stretching out a given resource to last? That’s what my parents did. Why take it away at all?
Load More Replies... I want to assure everyone this is NOT a Jewish thing. My Jewish family members love dressing up and free candy just as much as (nearly) everyone else. This egg donor is just a 8it¢h.
Yes! And "reverse Christmas"??? You don't need that, Jews and Christians aren't exact opposites. Different, sure, but that's why we celebrate Hanukkah
Load More Replies... i don’t care WHAT excuses that lady has if she was MY mom she would be getting a face full of my tears, other various fluids, and maybe some razors
Eh, too aggressive, for me. I would just just enjoy bringing it up like a normal behavior in front of her friends, and neighbors and watch her squirm. This woman lives, and breathes, adoration. Public shame would be delicious.
Load More Replies... How to ensure your children never trust you and have lifelong issues with junk food, chapter 1... Just teach your kids moderation instead. Or don't let them go to too many houses if you don't want them to have too much candy. There are so many better alternatives to this nonsense.
She's a narcissist. Her husband needs to wake up and get his kids out of that situation.
And this woman will be wondering why her kids - at such an early age - are always down at the courthouse researching which nursing home has the most judgements against it.
People like her will treat her kids like this but act like they dont want to "be mean and discipline them"
I always was allowed full access to my candy. I binged some, rationed some. As an adult, I never had an issue with binging or hoarding junk food, though I'll admit I didn't have the healthiest diet and chose junk food for snacks too often. I'm currently following a strict diet to lose weight for medical reasons, and it's going great. Willpower with food is fairly easy, and I easily resist my cravings for sweets. I can see myself following a healthy, balanced diet with junk food in moderation after my weight loss period is over. I love Halloween and enjoyed bonding with my very healthy and loving partner last weekend. We went to some great haunted attractions, it evoked all the magic that made my childhood so happy. I gave out candy to kids, and only had one fun sized bar as a cheat on my diet. Also, my parents are still in my life. In fact, I chose their favorite candy bars out of a bowl to give them. If you want to use my story as a reason to ban your kids from eating candy, well, I can't stop you.
Of course this is a philosophy teacher… never met a post-grad “philosopher” who wasn’t deliberately contrarian 🙄
I broke up with a philosophy teacher friend because they literally couldn't think outside of quotes and concepts from the philosophers they admired. They would get to the point of anger and insults if anyone argued views that didn't fit their box. Other bad traits included berating students who came in sick but also penalizing anyone who missed class regardless of the reason.
Load More Replies... I feel so sorry for her children. Oh, and of course, she's a philosophy professor. Of course she is. At least that explains why she's such a pretentious, egotistical nightmare who thinks she's smarter than you. Did her husband leave? Or has she abused him so badly that he's mentally broken and stays out of sheer hopelessness like many DA victims do?
Given that she openly talks about her lover in public while he's there, I'd say she's broken him. Or possibly they're polyamorous. But more likely he's staying for the kids.
Load More Replies... Yes, go trick-or-treating! And when you come home, I'll throw it all to trash, because it's tradition. Hope this person is just a troll, because I don't see any logical reason for this. Too much candy at once? Ration it, or donate something to food bank. Throwing it into trash is idiotic. Not to mention what children think about it.
Nope. She actually legit is that terrible. Read the article more closely, people who actually knew her irl posted about how screwed up she is.
Load More Replies... We used to let our daughter choose some favourites and for the rest we paid her $5/lb. The ‘sold’ ones we dropped off at a homeless shelter.
This is my favorite solution. Naturally gets you to agree to part with the lower value candy without feeling forced, and gets you to be mindful about which junk food is really tasty enough to eat
Load More Replies... Sometimes I feel like I'm not a good mom because I don't keep a super organized home and I don't make dinner every night and all that... and then I read about moms like these and I just want to hug my kid because WHY. Why on earth would you be actively and willfully cruel to someone who, in their very short life, has had nothing but love for you?
As an ex teacher the line is whether you want the best for your child. You can be confused, poor, mentally ill or plain thick, but if you care.... Children can tell. Other adults too - and they will help
Load More Replies... What a waste. Please donate to a local homeless shelter or other charity.
As a person who is (mostly) recovered from an ED and a recovering alcoholic...this is a major contributor to BOTH situations because the covert behavior and secrecy and shame (which all contribute to the cycle that makes you keep doing it) is somehow...perversely celebrated? This is why mental and psychological abuse should be a crime in all states (it's generally not)
Wow... What a pitiful, spiteful person. I'm inclined to believe the tweets about her being openly unfaithful as well, because she is clearly a toxic narcissist.
What an egotistical, selfish excuse for a parent. A parent can set limits without being this kind of a jerk.
It's pretty crazy, because if she showed up an put in the effort at work, got her cheque for the work she did, and her bank threw away whatever she received, she'd be outraged. She clearly doesn't understand that A) someone worked to pay for that candy, and B) the kiddos worked at getting dressed up and travelling around the neighbourhood and being nice to strangers to collect it. It's their intro to capitalism but the reward is something a child can appreciate. Mom's ruining these kids' relationships with her, with food, and with working.
This woman reeks of narcissism, and I feel sorry for her kids who are probably still too young to really get that her behavior is cruel and abnormal. This is coming from someone who had an emotionally abusive mother himself and even she never messed with my candy.
Halloween is a wonderful time to teach children about moderation and (an attempt at) self control but these actual villains just wanna abuse their kids instead. Wild.
I'm imagining one of my aunts who had a repeating for making her easter eggs last until Christmas
Load More Replies... As someone who was never allowed to go trick or treating (Mom was afraid of drugs in the candy, she got one of those before) this is upsetting. Why let them go if you are just gonna throw them away? Ruining the fun. Anyway, since my mom doesn't let us go trick or treating, she hides big bags of candy in the house, and the one who finds the most gets 50 dollars :)
Proof positive that those in the "mental health" field are often more sick and twisted than those they pretext want to help.
What a waste of money. Why take her kids to trick or treat if she’s going to throw everything. What’s the lesson she supposedly is teaching to her kids????
Poor kiddos and what a waste of candy as well if im honest makes me angry I'd at least donate candy to people Like every Halloween I go trick or treating and then I go to the children's hospital and give the kids candy and yes I ask for the parents permission and they love it seeing their kids be happy it brings me so much joy.
Apparently she has not thought far enough into the future to realize that her kids will be picking out her nursing home. Just wait until she sees it, they roll her through the doors, never to return.
I wish the OP was my mother! So I could tell her 'I wish was adopted you crazy narcissistic nut bag!'
You know those stories from people that go "I met this older person & their family is so cruel to never visit." It's really past time to rethink who the cruel one is.
Load More Replies... Wow. She'll need 3 jobs to pay for therapy, but she probably doesn't believe in that either🙄. She's gonna be one of those people that die alone in their home and get eaten by their pets...except for the part where it's a shame her kids abandoned her. Imagine thinking you're cool for treating your children like c**p and teasing them by allowing them to get the candy knowing full well that you're only going to throw it away so they probably make themselves sick trying to eat as much as they can in one night. That sounds like excellent behavior to pass on to the next generation.
Can't exactly call it abuse, but I do feel it's a bit extreme. Should ration their candy instead, to teach them self control and budgeting skills.
Errr.... you can just ration out their candy over a long period of time? We did that without thinking twice, b/c we were poor and candy had to last! So Halloween candy had to last till Easter, Easter candy had to last till Halloween!
How dare she they worked hard for that candy it’s one thing to limit it and make sure they know that it’s bc if they eat too much candy they won’t feel well but it’s horrible to throw it all away good grief
Dang. My parents did the same thing to me! So messed up. But it didn't put me into years of therapy or give me an eating disorder or unhealthy relationship with food (tho it totally did for my sister🤔). I do have a strong love for Halloween now...and I give my kids the freedom to do what they will with their haul after I check it, of course!
I hope her NEIGHBORS read this c**p. Yes, they pay MONEY to buy that candy! And yes, they give it away. But their intention is to bring JOY to children, not frustration, anger and resentment. If I were her neighbor, I'd gather the rest of the whole neighborhood and go ask to be reimbursed. And then I'd sneak candy to her kids! In NOVEMBER. Seems like she enjoys sh***ing on people that trust her. WOW. MOMMIE DEAREST ANYONE??
Maybe, just maybe, don't go out on Halloween night for the candy! Or better yet, give it to a dentist who then sends it overseas to a place that doesn't have proper healthcare.
My opinion, don't let them go trick or treating if you don't want them to have candy. And these kids should turn about and make it fair play. Take her money and credit/debit cards and shred them to teach her a lesson on moral fiber and whatnot.
I love how she makes multiple different comments defending herself on different levels of intellect. As if she is above everyone else and we don't understand what's shes saying. Oh we get it. You have serious control issues with your kids and they sent from hating you to wanting to defend you and when that didn't fly you tried the intellectual train of thought. Amazingly she's wrong in each and every one of them.
People out here really running peoples day on the one day im not doing it myself. What a job stealer
Plus, what if other children knock on her door to get candy? Does she give them a lecture on the evil of sweets and send them on their way with a flea in the ear only to return later and toilet paper the living f out of her house of unhappy offspring? Vile baggage.
If you don't want your children to have candy, don't let them trick or treat. Personally I'd dread the crazy sugar overdose and sit down with them and let them know the sweets were going to be rationed because then they'd last longer and give them a decent amount each day. .
Look, I grew up with a lot of abuse. If i got into the broken bones and molestation among other things people would complain about trauma dumping. I know all about terrible parents, abuse, and environments that resentment festers within. 100000% these kinds of parents absolutely want to end up in a nursing home at best.
As many have said, the kids will grow up hiding candy and binging any chance they get. I had a friend who was never allowed anything sweet. We're talking everything the family made had honey substitute for sugar, all homemade wheat flour, etc (even their pancakes were sans syrup). After her first real babysitting job, she went to the store and used all her money to buy nothing but soda, chips and candy (all of which she had never tasted. $30 worth (which bought a lot in the early '80s). It was half gone by the time her mother found out and she was forced to to return the rest to the store without a refund. The mother told the store to never sell anything else to her in the future, and she wasn't allowed to babysit again, or do anything that would result in her being paid directly. The mother even lectured me about it because I knew ahead of time about the plan and neither stopped her nor tattled.
People who have children because they feel powerless and need someone to have power over are the worst. What went wrong in your childhood that you grew up and decided “my parents did it to me, so imma have kids and do it to them”? Answer: nothing. Plenty of people have traumatic childhoods and choose to not perpetuate the cycle. The human race deserves nothing less than extinction.
So my brother and his wife buy books at thrift stores around town for all their kids and then sell the books to the kids for their Halloween candy. The kids get to keep some candy, get books they want to read, and my brother then takes the candy the kids purchased books with and goes to give it to other trick or treaters.
One aspect that wasn't mentioned is that the neighbors went out of their way to buy candy and give it out only for 'Mommy' to throw it away. What a slap in the face to everyone in the neighborhood who made an effort. Not diminishing the rest of the whole situation, but pile this on top the dung heap.
This is exactly what W***y Wonka's dad did to him as a kid in the remake. Only he burned the candy in the fireplace.
When I was growing up, my mom was what kids today would call a 'crunchy' mom. She did a lot of research about food and ingredients and would only buy organic food. Candy was a big deal in my house. My mom would only buy 100% organic candy because she was worried that any other candy would have bad effects on our health. But, she would never deprive us of candy. 9 year old me was happy with my off-brand candies because it was all I'd ever known. My mom also threw away or donated our Halloween candy (she picked out whatever had natural ingredients and let me keep that), but she had a good reason for doing so, and it isn't like I never had any candy. Because of my experiences, I don't want to be quick to judge, but it sounds like this mother never lets her children have any candy, which is ridiculous. Let kids be kids. If you have a legitimate reason for doing this, sit down and tell your kids so they don't feel deprived.
I hope she enjoys the crappy nursing home her kids are going to stick her in and never visit.
What absolutely narcissistic, psychopathic b**** this woman is. Abject cruelty is the point. Honestly her husband should file for divorce and sole custody of the children because she is a worthless POS. It's like she's experimenting on her children as if they were Pavlov's dog. Seriously she is a sick and twisted kind of mentally ill and should not be allowed to have contact with her children.
My mom always throws away any sugary things the DAY after we get them, and she’s just like “oh all moms do this it’s perfectly normal” 🙄
Probably not around, i know i wouldn't if the mom is like that
Load More Replies... Please read the comments from people with eating disorders to educate yourself on how controlling behavior around food is a trigger for later problems.
Load More Replies... Only it is absolutely well-documented that telling kids they cannot have one whole category of food, that some foods are bad etc, gives people eating disorders. Just because your parents didn't do that with your sister (that you know off) and she developed an eating disorder anyway, doesn't mean that this is an excellent way of a) your children indeed developing an eating disorder and b) absolutely making your children resent you. There are other reasons to ensure your children do not eat their entire Halloween candy in one go
Load More Replies... it's not even about that. She didn't just forbid them to eat candy. She sent them to collect candies and then took them away. That's cruel and vile.
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