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“No Means No”: 16 Simple Lessons That Will Turn This Mom’s Sons Into Someone’s Dream Husbands
A parent’s influence is immense, which is why children—even as grown-ups later in life—are often a reflection of what’s been taught to them over the years. Moms and dads typically try their best to instill what they believe is right, hoping that some things will stick or become a positive habit.
A teacher and a mother of two, Payal Desai went viral on TikTok for her ways of raising her children. In a series of videos titled ‘No Dusty Sons’, she shares the valuable lessons she teaches her boys from an early age in the hopes that their future partners won’t have to deal with certain related issues. Payal’s videos—especially her signature look into the soul of the camera—created quite a buzz online and garnered over 243k followers on her TikTok account.
TikToker’s videos went viral after she shared the things she teaches her two sons
Image credits: payalforstyle
Payal’s videos about raising her boys attract millions of views
@payalforstyle Dust off your journal - time to write it down. #teachingoursons #funny #momsoftiktok #momlife #momofboys #journaling #dustyson #dustydaughter #trending ♬ original sound - Bryan
This post may include affiliate links.
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#3
#7
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
Yeah... I know more than a few individuals who need this. As in, no, being helpful or considerate *only* within your own narrow scope of "I feel like it now" (but otherwise being insensitive, dismissive or selfish) does not mean you're being mindful and she's being difficult.
#8
Connie Bonneville 2 years ago
Installing soft close seats and expecting everyone in the house male or female to close the lid before they flush so a plume of feces doesn't sprinkle the whole bathroom
#9
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
More useful... teaching them that abusive incompetence is not acceptable (ie: they might be the one who puts all the stuff away, but when it comes time that their partner wants/needs something... well, gee, they "don't know where it is", guess they just CAN'T help, oh well.)
#10
Nick Wheeler 2 years ago
To be fair this isn't one of those things that make boys allies to women. If women watched women league sports as much as men watched men leagues sports there wouldn't be such a disparity. Also another thing wrong about these posts is the fact the you make it seem as tho all problems stem from males in a relationship.
#11
#12
Mark Bayliss 2 years ago
Or just maybe that if you agree to set off at x time, be ready at x time. It is just as disrespectful to not bother about other people's efforts to be ready at the specified time.
a Widda 2 years ago
It's a great idea until I think I have an hour to get my hair, makeup, clothes, ready and have to stop every ten minutes to find your socks, hairbrush, underwear, did I iron your pants?, will I braid or style your hair?
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baby frog 2 years ago
i don’t wear makeup and have been trying to put more effort into my outfits cus i love how they look on me now. i’m more comfy with myself and it takes me three minutes to get dressed but my skincare is another story- i like this. OOOOO GET SOME REALLY GOOD BOOKS! i love books 📚
Rick Ruckus 2 years ago
What TF is wrong with this chick? How about you teach ALL or your kids to manage their time and respect other people's time
Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago
Har this problem with my former gf, she spend 45 min in the shower, and maybe 30 in makeup and dressing. I spend maybe 30 between shower and dressing, so she would shower first, and if everything went well we usually got ready at the same time. Ir she wasn't ready yet I would watch tv or help her.
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 2 years ago
But if we agree to leave at 9, then be ready to leave at 9.
Milky Way Cookie 2 years ago (edited)
I take very little time to get ready as a girl, and I'm not "worse" on standards, I don't have to because I naturally just look like I spent a while getting ready, doing more makes it look too forced
•The Comic Hero• 2 years ago
why do everyone on the comments asume the woman is not on time? there's people i know that constantly say this when the other person is still on time but they haven't communicated that they would like to be earlier or something, or are even bothered to see you doing so much stuff because they *think* you won't be ready on time, not everyone has the reason when saying this
Laurie Goff 2 years ago
My SO takes a while when she does her skin care routine, my brother got creative. He brings his guitar into the bathroom and sings to her. He takes requests. Even wrote a song about her routine. She loves it.
Darren Craig 2 years ago
Maybe teach time management to everyone to prepare for not just the workforce but every appointment or gathering. No one appreciates tardiness.
MurderMittens 2 years ago
When there is no specific time to go somewhere, do NOT stand by the door tapping your foot, looking at your watch.
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Lucille 2 2 years ago
Maybe people like you need to shut up and stop treating “us women” like we’re all exactly the same.
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#13
Ali Sherlock 2 years ago
I get the idea behind this but it's been proven that bed bugs thrive in sheets that are covered by doona's etc...leaving the blankets folded at the end of bed for example is better because the open air is deadly to bed bugs.
#14
Panda Kicki 2 years ago
Why should she motivate him? If a grown person chooses being a couch potato its their right. Good to have good habits from childhood, but cant see why a partner should be responsible for exercise.
#16
Panda Kicki 2 years ago
What is "retail theraphy "? Like a shopping spree for mental health? I agree with the cleaning, organizing, period awerness etc, but this confused me.
Some people believed her views are heteronormative, TikToker responded with a video
@payalforstyle Replying to @dezloves ♬ original sound - Payal Desai
Payal’s videos seemingly split the internet into camps; while some praise the woman, others believe her messages might come across as heteronormative. However, quite a few of them on both sides agree that the things she teaches her boys are valuable life lessons and rules of common decency, which should apply to everyone no matter the circumstances.
A piece in the New York Times emphasized that learning manners as a child can bring long-term benefits, as research suggests there’s a positive link between their social skills in kindergarten and success and wellbeing in adulthood.
It also pointed out that praising children for showing sympathy and courtesy, and discussing others’ feelings can help them to develop a sense of empathy. “They’re life skills that help so much with our social and emotional I.Q. — things like recognizing social cues and developing good listening skills,” assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City, Dr. Jennifer Trachtenberg, told the New York Times.
A 2012 study revealed that being considerate of others and sharing can bring happiness to children as young as toddlers—before the age of two, kids show greater happiness giving treats to others than getting them themselves. One of the academics behind the research, Lara Aknin, told CNBC that such a positive feeling might encourage the child to act this way in the future as well. “Ideally caregivers can scaffold these opportunities to allow kids to give in meaningful and direct ways that lead kids to feel like they have chosen to help,” she said.
When it comes to children and values, quite a few people believe it’s important to instill a sense of responsibility into them as well. According to Pew Research Center, as much as 93% of surveyed adults in the US agree that teaching kids to be responsible is “especially important” and more than half of them believe it might be more important than other traits and qualities.
Unfortunately, there is no one right way to raise kids, whether it’s a son or daughter. But thanks to the internet, parents can share their insight and experiences, which might be beneficial for other moms and dads out there; or fun to watch, at least. And it seems that Payal’s content on how she raises her boys has quite a few fans, who make sure to show their support in the comments under her videos.
The online community showed support and appreciation to the mom in the comments
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What do you think ?
XenoMurph 2 years ago
So, none of this is about the son's happiness? Every one of these is about how he should behave FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Now I understand that this was done to women for millennia, having to adjust their lives for other people's expectations. Reversing this is not solving the problem. Making his bed so HE feels good about himself. |Writing down his feelings so HE can manage his emotions for HIIMSELF. Understanding menstruation, ok thats fair enough. But making him live every action through the lens of an imaginary future mate is the opposite of a healthy mental state.
Roman Hans 2 years ago
Not to mention, what if the son doesn't want a female partner? Seems like he's been groomed for one all his life.
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Connie Bonneville 2 years ago
Teaching my son how to be a normal human being has nothing to do with catering to a woman.
Chez2202 2 years ago
Could it possibly be that she is teaching her son to be a different man than the male role models she’s had in her life that have been catered to by women and she just wants him to not be lazy and take advantage? This hasn’t come from nowhere. I don’t believe for one second that she wants her son to be a doormat but it seems to me that she is teaching from experience.
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Connie Bonneville 2 years ago
If this is why you're teaching your son you're missing the point. Teach him because this is normal human behavior. Except the getting ready part.
Bekaroo 2 years ago
She is teaching him that this is normal behavior, it just so happens that it will be helpful to his future partner or anyone else he interacts with, as well. But unfortunately, right now, many of these items are not normal behavior for a lot of men and it makes the people around them miserable and likely makes themselves miserable. We have to start with teaching our sons how to be fully functional, emotionally intelligent adults that have reasonable expectations of the human body.
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Sea Squirrel 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are really stupid. I've been teaching my sons to leave the toilet seat down and sit on it. Not because my daughter might fall into the toilet, but because it's proven to be healthier for men to sit. I've been teaching my children (!) not to spent $200,- on serums because that's insane. If you got a skin condition, go see a doctor. I've been teaching my children to get ready in time so others don't have to wait for them ...
Count Ringworm 2 years ago
Urinating while sitting only benefits males with prostate enlargement.
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Damon 2 years ago (edited)
She taught him a lesson about milking private moments for social clout too
arthbach 2 years ago
The first thing that struck me was how hetro-normative this list is. The second thing was "I'm teaching him to do things so his future partner doesn't have to do them." Yeah, again with an assumption of having partner, but also it should be taught normal things for adults to do.
Roman Hans 2 years ago
It's the equivalent of screaming "YOU NEED TO GET MARRIED!" every day to a kid. Seriously, not gonna help.
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Chronically Online Panda 2 years ago
This is mostly good hygiene and manners, that people of every gender and age should learn; this shouldn't be taught just to boys but to everyone else too. It's not just to make "your daughter" feel comfortable, these behaviours should be normalised.
Alex Martin 2 years ago (edited)
Cool, teach him basic life skills- cooking, cleaning, laundry are all important regardless of relationship status. I hope somewhere in her TikTok influencer land she works with him on healthy boundary setting and making sure he has an equal role in the relationship. Train him that his needs are important too and that he also gets a turn. I worry that she's training him to define his worth through the approval of his partner and that's a bad metric and can lead to very uneven and abusive relationships. That kid's first wife is going to have a very interesting mother-in-law problem.
Hannah 2 years ago
I'm so glad to see so many people in the comments here saying her motivation is skewed. I don't care if my kid is a boy or a girl I'm teaching them things so they can be good, happy, healthy, and productive adults capable of making good decisions. Not so they can appease a future partner. If you're raising you kid on a set of moral built specifically to appease others your not putting enough into your child.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
Why are you downvoted? Let me fix that, you're right. Any child should know how not to be a jack, and that's not for a partner but their own better life
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Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
She's teaching him to cater only for someone else's needs. How about lessons to benefit/help himself e.g. learning to stand up for himself, how to set boundaries, and how to improve his mental health.
A B C the Third 2 years ago
Although I do approve of the messages themselves: ugh, these badly subbed tikfuck videos aren't content, they're filler. Can we please start to collectively downvote such bullshít?
maddie 2 years ago
Hmm I do think men should understand women but I don't think this is how to do it. I feel like this could make him very susceptible to abuse and willing to accept an imbalance of power in a relationship. I feel like you should teach your son mental, physical and emotional wellness for himself and he should be able to keep his home clean for himself
L M 2 years ago
A lot of these were about keeping his own house tidy, and she's also teaching him mindfulness. I think it's pretty balanced.
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Lytse Draak 2 years ago
The first part was good, both boys and girls need to be taught to organise, clean up l, take care of themselves and be emphatic to ailments you don't experience yourself. The last teachings though, yikes. If your girl spends more than she should based on your combined income, you can 100% question if she needs the $200 cosmetic or the retail therapy...
MeowZer 2 years ago
I love the conversation here... I just am also thinking, this is the weirdest house. Why did they bring grass into the bed with the tray. Where is the furniture and is that a kitchen cupboard with bins? Why.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
Influencer houses for some reason always look AI generated.
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Susan Green 2 years ago
Why are so many of these do this, or do that, so your daughter doesn’t have to deal with it? What if he grows up and doesn’t want kids? I agree with others on here, teach him these lessons for himself.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
She means the "daughter" of people watching as in his future wife. Took me a moment as well
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Helen Taylor 2 years ago
You were teaching yourself some very good things. But unless he's going to make a lot of money in his life, he doesn't need to get used to $200 skin care products and a wife who over shops. I understand shopping can be soothing, but there is also a budget.
Reid Thrower 2 years ago
Some of these aren't terrible and some of them are actually ridiculous. Like the woman's sports
Space Yeti 2 years ago (edited)
Half of this stuff is normal things to teach your kid. The other half (like “retail therapy” and justifying $200 beauty products? That’s just wrong. Just read the comments. Also, making your kid pose so you can brag about how great of a parent you are on social media? Not great. There’s even a good chance she’s not even teaching her son this stuff.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
This kid is going to have SO many issues. Can you imagine if this was reversed as a father training a young daughter for her future husband???
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
Tell me you are pissed at your husband, taking it out on your poor sons, and need kudos without telling me. Some of this stuff is ridiculous.
Josh Gilland 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are good lessons... Not so "your daughter' can have a nicer life but because this is what being a decent human should entail. However some of the latter ones were her training her son to tolerate her idiotic ideals. $200 on skin cream? "Retail therapy"? No that's wasting money to feel better than oh you know writing your feelings down and working through them as you suggested he do.
Nimitz 2 years ago
This is creepy af. You should definitely teach your kids to value others and be a good person, but this is like training up a husband. There's a real toxic positivity vibe here. I mean, regardless of what is being taught, if this were a father teaching his daughter to be a good partner, it would be unacceptable on almost any level. Super duper cringe
Bekaroo 2 years ago
I'm so happy there are mothers that are really committed to raising their sons to be fully functional, emotionally intelligent adults that value others. I'm happy because I have a daughter near the age of her son's, I also have a small son that I hope to instill these values in as well. These things will help him take care of himself as well as any future partner in a way that is much too rare in adult men of the current and past generations.
Rachael green 2 years ago
I feel like all of this could be 'teaching my child' instead of focusing on him being male? I say that as a female with a young son and daughter. I would want them both to be educated in all this regardless of their gender (bar the retail therapy one which doesn't resonate with me at all)
The Love-Giver (he/they) 2 years ago
I'm so happy about this. People need to teach their kids how to care and be cared about. And as for whether it's heteronormative - it may be, but unless she's actively homophobic, the kid'll be fine if he turns out gay.
Linouchka 2 years ago
Would be funny if he turned out gay 😅 But all of this would still be valid. All of the disgusted comments saying she's teaching him to do things not for himself but for his wife are silly : millions of women complain that men are lazy disgusting selfish pricks, here we have a mom teaching his son to be a decent human being and they STILL COMPLAIN !! Sometimes humanity leaves me speechless.
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
The mum's lessons are all important. However, much of the focus is that the son should learn these lessons in order to please someone else.
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John Smith (he/him/xy/️) 2 years ago (edited)
Cool. You might also want to teach him how women should treat him
imgonaarickrollyousohard 2 years ago
Maybe teach him that his potential partner (male or female) should do things he likes doing, instead of blatantly bashing one gender
UnapologeticCanadian 2 years ago
I’m into the concept and message (mostly) but I’m not cool with her using her son as a literal prop.Not sure how consent-oriented that choice is and her point could be delivered in so many other ways.
Lyenne Summers 2 years ago
All of these things seem good to teach your son, not for another person's daughter, but for your own son. And while you're at it.. Teach your daughter as well. Also a 200 dollar serum?! That definitely does need justification!
M.Bilal Azfar 2 years ago
I agree with many things but numbers 9,10,15,and 16 are just ridiculous. For the rest I hope she will teach the same to her daughter, if she has one.
Yer maw 2 years ago
I dunno. I teach my boys and girls not to be d***s and take responsibility for themselves because they need skills to look after themselves for their own benefit before anyone else's
Brad Shorter 2 years ago
I appreciate that teaching your sons to do their share and show respect from a female point of view is important. Telling your boy that justifying $200 on "vanity" for a woman who is already supposedly in a committed relationship is wrong on every level. As is "retail therapy." You can't assume that much financial flexibility by making sure a woman's looks, ie.. clothes and make-up are important. Why...so she can continue to look pretty to OTHER people. Why aren't you telling your son that it's okay to spend $200 on a round of golf 🤔 because he may need the "personal time" I see a VERY sexist singular point of view being taught here. Men should be respectful and s3lf sufficient. They should NOT be conditioned to cater to women's stereotypical behaviors. You've got some good intentions, but you're going too far.
MR 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are perfectly fine. But way too many of these are teaching your son to accept toxic behavior from the woman in his life in the vein that women have spent generations teaching their daughters to put up with toxic behaviors from men. The fact that you're "doing for his future girlfriend" gives away your game. You have toxic behaviors that aren't being accepted so you're training your son to put up with them. Stop. Stop. Stop.
Marley Nachi 2 years ago
The titles are kind of clicky baity, but the lessons are good for his development as a person.
Alex Mosby 2 years ago (edited)
Plot twist he grows up to marry lazy nephew🤣🤣🤣. I love what this mom is doing but it bothers me that it's being presented for anything but his own benefit. All of my brothers know how to cook and clean. They don't wait for women to take on basic life skills. However they are still womanizing pigs who will cook and put the toilet seat down.
Jonathan Nichols 2 years ago
Is she gonna make a follow up where she teaches her daughter how to be a strong person who can recognize, appropriately call out and avoid people with clearly bad self interested behavior?
Ash Conner 2 years ago
This is awesome. All children should learn these. But girls have definitely put up with things. The thing is I don't do everything myself if I have a BF. I include him whether he wants to or not. I have ADHD and will forget stuff. So, if he does not want things forgotten when I pack, he has to join, same goes with my kid.
TarotBelle 2 years ago
I like how this entire article suggest that women never lack in these departments. Trust me, I've met plenty of women that are less organized, clean, emotionally considerate, and active than myself. Also, I care more about my skincare routine, retail therapy and fashion more than my GF, and no, my mom didn't teach me that.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
I really love this! But I also hope he's educated and allowed to be himself too. Unfortunately, I feel that he's going to end up with women that exploit this. I hope she's teaching them a strong sense of self and not just how to cater to a woman
Michael King 2 years ago (edited)
Teaching her son how to deal with all the problems she faces as a woman and neglecting any of the problems that are specific to being a man. Teaching my son never to be alone with a woman in the office because HR will implicitly believe her word over his. Teaching my son how to disappear so that he doesn't have to deal with everyone assuming he's a threat in ever public space. Teaching my son how to deal with being alone because as an adult the things that allow him to make friends are suddenly inappropriate behavior and creepy.
Stay Off My Lawn 2 years ago
These are things that all boys need to know, not just for the sake of a hypothetical female mate, but also and most importantly so that they can survive adulthood on their own instead of running to mommy for everything.
Jill Chesterman 2 years ago
Thank you for teaching your son good lessons. It doesn't need to be for someone else's daughter. It will help him be independent and respectful
MINNI THE HAMSTER 2 years ago
*MAYBE* You have *RUBBISH* taste in women or your lying and you hate all women.
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XenoMurph 2 years ago
So, none of this is about the son's happiness? Every one of these is about how he should behave FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Now I understand that this was done to women for millennia, having to adjust their lives for other people's expectations. Reversing this is not solving the problem. Making his bed so HE feels good about himself. |Writing down his feelings so HE can manage his emotions for HIIMSELF. Understanding menstruation, ok thats fair enough. But making him live every action through the lens of an imaginary future mate is the opposite of a healthy mental state.
Roman Hans 2 years ago
Not to mention, what if the son doesn't want a female partner? Seems like he's been groomed for one all his life.
Load More Replies... Connie Bonneville 2 years ago
Teaching my son how to be a normal human being has nothing to do with catering to a woman.
Chez2202 2 years ago
Could it possibly be that she is teaching her son to be a different man than the male role models she’s had in her life that have been catered to by women and she just wants him to not be lazy and take advantage? This hasn’t come from nowhere. I don’t believe for one second that she wants her son to be a doormat but it seems to me that she is teaching from experience.
Load More Replies... Connie Bonneville 2 years ago
If this is why you're teaching your son you're missing the point. Teach him because this is normal human behavior. Except the getting ready part.
Bekaroo 2 years ago
She is teaching him that this is normal behavior, it just so happens that it will be helpful to his future partner or anyone else he interacts with, as well. But unfortunately, right now, many of these items are not normal behavior for a lot of men and it makes the people around them miserable and likely makes themselves miserable. We have to start with teaching our sons how to be fully functional, emotionally intelligent adults that have reasonable expectations of the human body.
Load More Replies... Sea Squirrel 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are really stupid. I've been teaching my sons to leave the toilet seat down and sit on it. Not because my daughter might fall into the toilet, but because it's proven to be healthier for men to sit. I've been teaching my children (!) not to spent $200,- on serums because that's insane. If you got a skin condition, go see a doctor. I've been teaching my children to get ready in time so others don't have to wait for them ...
Count Ringworm 2 years ago
Urinating while sitting only benefits males with prostate enlargement.
Load More Replies... Damon 2 years ago (edited)
She taught him a lesson about milking private moments for social clout too
arthbach 2 years ago
The first thing that struck me was how hetro-normative this list is. The second thing was "I'm teaching him to do things so his future partner doesn't have to do them." Yeah, again with an assumption of having partner, but also it should be taught normal things for adults to do.
Roman Hans 2 years ago
It's the equivalent of screaming "YOU NEED TO GET MARRIED!" every day to a kid. Seriously, not gonna help.
Load More Replies... Chronically Online Panda 2 years ago
This is mostly good hygiene and manners, that people of every gender and age should learn; this shouldn't be taught just to boys but to everyone else too. It's not just to make "your daughter" feel comfortable, these behaviours should be normalised.
Alex Martin 2 years ago (edited)
Cool, teach him basic life skills- cooking, cleaning, laundry are all important regardless of relationship status. I hope somewhere in her TikTok influencer land she works with him on healthy boundary setting and making sure he has an equal role in the relationship. Train him that his needs are important too and that he also gets a turn. I worry that she's training him to define his worth through the approval of his partner and that's a bad metric and can lead to very uneven and abusive relationships. That kid's first wife is going to have a very interesting mother-in-law problem.
Hannah 2 years ago
I'm so glad to see so many people in the comments here saying her motivation is skewed. I don't care if my kid is a boy or a girl I'm teaching them things so they can be good, happy, healthy, and productive adults capable of making good decisions. Not so they can appease a future partner. If you're raising you kid on a set of moral built specifically to appease others your not putting enough into your child.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
Why are you downvoted? Let me fix that, you're right. Any child should know how not to be a jack, and that's not for a partner but their own better life
Load More Replies... Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
She's teaching him to cater only for someone else's needs. How about lessons to benefit/help himself e.g. learning to stand up for himself, how to set boundaries, and how to improve his mental health.
A B C the Third 2 years ago
Although I do approve of the messages themselves: ugh, these badly subbed tikfuck videos aren't content, they're filler. Can we please start to collectively downvote such bullshít?
maddie 2 years ago
Hmm I do think men should understand women but I don't think this is how to do it. I feel like this could make him very susceptible to abuse and willing to accept an imbalance of power in a relationship. I feel like you should teach your son mental, physical and emotional wellness for himself and he should be able to keep his home clean for himself
L M 2 years ago
A lot of these were about keeping his own house tidy, and she's also teaching him mindfulness. I think it's pretty balanced.
Load More Replies... Lytse Draak 2 years ago
The first part was good, both boys and girls need to be taught to organise, clean up l, take care of themselves and be emphatic to ailments you don't experience yourself. The last teachings though, yikes. If your girl spends more than she should based on your combined income, you can 100% question if she needs the $200 cosmetic or the retail therapy...
MeowZer 2 years ago
I love the conversation here... I just am also thinking, this is the weirdest house. Why did they bring grass into the bed with the tray. Where is the furniture and is that a kitchen cupboard with bins? Why.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
Influencer houses for some reason always look AI generated.
Load More Replies... Susan Green 2 years ago
Why are so many of these do this, or do that, so your daughter doesn’t have to deal with it? What if he grows up and doesn’t want kids? I agree with others on here, teach him these lessons for himself.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
She means the "daughter" of people watching as in his future wife. Took me a moment as well
Load More Replies... Helen Taylor 2 years ago
You were teaching yourself some very good things. But unless he's going to make a lot of money in his life, he doesn't need to get used to $200 skin care products and a wife who over shops. I understand shopping can be soothing, but there is also a budget.
Reid Thrower 2 years ago
Some of these aren't terrible and some of them are actually ridiculous. Like the woman's sports
Space Yeti 2 years ago (edited)
Half of this stuff is normal things to teach your kid. The other half (like “retail therapy” and justifying $200 beauty products? That’s just wrong. Just read the comments. Also, making your kid pose so you can brag about how great of a parent you are on social media? Not great. There’s even a good chance she’s not even teaching her son this stuff.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
This kid is going to have SO many issues. Can you imagine if this was reversed as a father training a young daughter for her future husband???
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
Tell me you are pissed at your husband, taking it out on your poor sons, and need kudos without telling me. Some of this stuff is ridiculous.
Josh Gilland 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are good lessons... Not so "your daughter' can have a nicer life but because this is what being a decent human should entail. However some of the latter ones were her training her son to tolerate her idiotic ideals. $200 on skin cream? "Retail therapy"? No that's wasting money to feel better than oh you know writing your feelings down and working through them as you suggested he do.
Nimitz 2 years ago
This is creepy af. You should definitely teach your kids to value others and be a good person, but this is like training up a husband. There's a real toxic positivity vibe here. I mean, regardless of what is being taught, if this were a father teaching his daughter to be a good partner, it would be unacceptable on almost any level. Super duper cringe
Bekaroo 2 years ago
I'm so happy there are mothers that are really committed to raising their sons to be fully functional, emotionally intelligent adults that value others. I'm happy because I have a daughter near the age of her son's, I also have a small son that I hope to instill these values in as well. These things will help him take care of himself as well as any future partner in a way that is much too rare in adult men of the current and past generations.
Rachael green 2 years ago
I feel like all of this could be 'teaching my child' instead of focusing on him being male? I say that as a female with a young son and daughter. I would want them both to be educated in all this regardless of their gender (bar the retail therapy one which doesn't resonate with me at all)
The Love-Giver (he/they) 2 years ago
I'm so happy about this. People need to teach their kids how to care and be cared about. And as for whether it's heteronormative - it may be, but unless she's actively homophobic, the kid'll be fine if he turns out gay.
Linouchka 2 years ago
Would be funny if he turned out gay 😅 But all of this would still be valid. All of the disgusted comments saying she's teaching him to do things not for himself but for his wife are silly : millions of women complain that men are lazy disgusting selfish pricks, here we have a mom teaching his son to be a decent human being and they STILL COMPLAIN !! Sometimes humanity leaves me speechless.
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
The mum's lessons are all important. However, much of the focus is that the son should learn these lessons in order to please someone else.
Load More Replies... John Smith (he/him/xy/️) 2 years ago (edited)
Cool. You might also want to teach him how women should treat him
imgonaarickrollyousohard 2 years ago
Maybe teach him that his potential partner (male or female) should do things he likes doing, instead of blatantly bashing one gender
UnapologeticCanadian 2 years ago
I’m into the concept and message (mostly) but I’m not cool with her using her son as a literal prop.Not sure how consent-oriented that choice is and her point could be delivered in so many other ways.
Lyenne Summers 2 years ago
All of these things seem good to teach your son, not for another person's daughter, but for your own son. And while you're at it.. Teach your daughter as well. Also a 200 dollar serum?! That definitely does need justification!
M.Bilal Azfar 2 years ago
I agree with many things but numbers 9,10,15,and 16 are just ridiculous. For the rest I hope she will teach the same to her daughter, if she has one.
Yer maw 2 years ago
I dunno. I teach my boys and girls not to be d***s and take responsibility for themselves because they need skills to look after themselves for their own benefit before anyone else's
Brad Shorter 2 years ago
I appreciate that teaching your sons to do their share and show respect from a female point of view is important. Telling your boy that justifying $200 on "vanity" for a woman who is already supposedly in a committed relationship is wrong on every level. As is "retail therapy." You can't assume that much financial flexibility by making sure a woman's looks, ie.. clothes and make-up are important. Why...so she can continue to look pretty to OTHER people. Why aren't you telling your son that it's okay to spend $200 on a round of golf 🤔 because he may need the "personal time" I see a VERY sexist singular point of view being taught here. Men should be respectful and s3lf sufficient. They should NOT be conditioned to cater to women's stereotypical behaviors. You've got some good intentions, but you're going too far.
MR 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are perfectly fine. But way too many of these are teaching your son to accept toxic behavior from the woman in his life in the vein that women have spent generations teaching their daughters to put up with toxic behaviors from men. The fact that you're "doing for his future girlfriend" gives away your game. You have toxic behaviors that aren't being accepted so you're training your son to put up with them. Stop. Stop. Stop.
Marley Nachi 2 years ago
The titles are kind of clicky baity, but the lessons are good for his development as a person.
Alex Mosby 2 years ago (edited)
Plot twist he grows up to marry lazy nephew🤣🤣🤣. I love what this mom is doing but it bothers me that it's being presented for anything but his own benefit. All of my brothers know how to cook and clean. They don't wait for women to take on basic life skills. However they are still womanizing pigs who will cook and put the toilet seat down.
Jonathan Nichols 2 years ago
Is she gonna make a follow up where she teaches her daughter how to be a strong person who can recognize, appropriately call out and avoid people with clearly bad self interested behavior?
Ash Conner 2 years ago
This is awesome. All children should learn these. But girls have definitely put up with things. The thing is I don't do everything myself if I have a BF. I include him whether he wants to or not. I have ADHD and will forget stuff. So, if he does not want things forgotten when I pack, he has to join, same goes with my kid.
TarotBelle 2 years ago
I like how this entire article suggest that women never lack in these departments. Trust me, I've met plenty of women that are less organized, clean, emotionally considerate, and active than myself. Also, I care more about my skincare routine, retail therapy and fashion more than my GF, and no, my mom didn't teach me that.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
I really love this! But I also hope he's educated and allowed to be himself too. Unfortunately, I feel that he's going to end up with women that exploit this. I hope she's teaching them a strong sense of self and not just how to cater to a woman
Michael King 2 years ago (edited)
Teaching her son how to deal with all the problems she faces as a woman and neglecting any of the problems that are specific to being a man. Teaching my son never to be alone with a woman in the office because HR will implicitly believe her word over his. Teaching my son how to disappear so that he doesn't have to deal with everyone assuming he's a threat in ever public space. Teaching my son how to deal with being alone because as an adult the things that allow him to make friends are suddenly inappropriate behavior and creepy.
Stay Off My Lawn 2 years ago
These are things that all boys need to know, not just for the sake of a hypothetical female mate, but also and most importantly so that they can survive adulthood on their own instead of running to mommy for everything.
Jill Chesterman 2 years ago
Thank you for teaching your son good lessons. It doesn't need to be for someone else's daughter. It will help him be independent and respectful
MINNI THE HAMSTER 2 years ago
*MAYBE* You have *RUBBISH* taste in women or your lying and you hate all women.
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