Boy Wins Big In School Raffle, Refuses To Give Up Prize To Calm Sore Loser
Interview With Expert
A big part of teaching kids to socialize is for them to learn how to share. Whether it’s toys or food, kids need to know they can’t always have everything for themselves. Sharing is caring, after all, right? But what about sharing things that they’ve won fair and square? Should they learn to give those up as well?
One mom shared her dilemma about whether she was right not to make her son share his raffle toy prize. She claims other parents started pressuring her and the boy to give the prize to another boy who didn’t win anything. The mother initially refused, but after her husband started wondering whether they should’ve encouraged the boy to give his prize away, she started doubting her decision as well. So she decided to ask the Internet’s opinion.
Bored Panda reached out to parenting coach Megan Thompson. She was kind enough to weigh in on the situation, telling us whether the mom’s decision was the right one. Read our interview with her below!
Kids love raffles, parties, and any other event where they can get free toys
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / Envato (not the actual photo)
Yet, when one kid won two prizes, his mom felt pressured to make him give one of the toys to another child
Image credits: peakpx (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ButterscotchNaive801
Parenting coach Megan Thompson says she would’ve let the child decide for himself as well
The situation the OP describes in her post isn’t anything unheard of. We all know kids don’t particularly like to share their stuff. Parenting coach Megan Thompson tells Bored Panda that they’re similar to adults in that regard. “Most adults are not great at sharing either. We just get better at appearing we do,” she says.
“If someone gifted an adult two brand new cars, do you think their immediate reaction would be to look at their neighbor’s old car and think, ‘I really think they could use the other car more than my family,’ and give it to them straight away?” Probably not.
“That’s what it would feel like for a child to be given two new toys and be told to give the other one away.” She says that whether this could’ve been a teaching moment really depends on the child’s age. As the mother mentioned her kids are both old enough not to throw tantrums when they don’t get a prize, it seems they might be old enough to make a decision themselves.
“I would make it the child’s choice to share the other toy,” she somewhat agrees with the OP’s decision. “I’d first have a chat with my child and let them think about it. Let them try on how it feels. Don’t let other parents pressure you – it’s an opportunity to learn and grow,” Thompson notes.
She says that this is perhaps a bigger learning experience for the child who didn’t get the toy car. She has some advice for the parents of the other kid: “If the other child doesn’t share with them, coach them through how that feels. Don’t fix it or promise to make it up to them. Your child may be more generous to others the next time they are given an abundance.”
She argues that the kid who didn’t win anything actually got the better end of the stick in the long term. “Your kid is going to grow and learn from disappointment in this situation – in fact, I’d argue [that] while they may have lost the prize, they really won. Kids have to flex their disappointment like a muscle and build resilience. It’s one of the greatest gifts we can give them. We can empathize and coach them through it,” Thompson explains.
Parental peer pressure might be hard to deal with, but parents should stick to their guns
Image credits: Brett Sayles / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In the situation that the mother describes, it seems that the main problem here stems from the opinions of other adults. The mother felt quite firm in her decision to let her son choose whether to give up the toy car until other parents and her husband prompted her to doubt it.
VeryWell Family writes that parents should be confident in themselves and their decisions: “Count all the things you are doing right as a parent and trust yourself.” When other parents are giving advice, more often than not, they’re coming from a good place. The best reaction is to politely let them know you’ve already made up your mind.
Of course, it’s healthy to consider suggestions from others. When choosing to stick to your guns, think about:
- Do you think your parenting decision is what’s best for your child?
- Do you have any scientific evidence supporting your decision?
- Might what you’re doing be harmful or dangerous to your child?
After considering these questions, make a decision that suits your values and parenting strategy. After all, when children see their parents not sway from peer pressure, it sets an example in their minds. They should be able to handle pressure from their peers better if they see their parents being firm with their beliefs.
The majority of people agreed that the kid should keep what he won fair and square
But some thought the mother should’ve intervened
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This! She even called the little boy arrogant. I bet she's one of those who throw tantrums to get their self invented, not existing rights.
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Or the parent who suggested he give it to the kid and they didn't like that no one else agreed
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What are you teaching these kids? Start with the losing kid. He throws a tantrum for not getting what he wants. And parents seek to reward that? No. Hard no. That teaches entitlement. And the winning kid? If you encourage him to hand it over you teach him the same lesson, only you also teach him to be willing to give in if someone cries enough. There are a lot of lessons that needed teaching. By not giving it to the kid, you started teaching everything that needed to be taught. Little dude will get over it. Just because he's too young to understand doesn't mean he can't begin to. Anyone suggesting otherwise is a terrible parent. S
Where did the parents teach the winning kid anything bad? They didn't interfere at all here, which was the best course to take. The kid said "no" on his own, even when faced with "well meaning" adults trying to coerce him otherwise. Parents did a good job.
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So when someone wins the next mega millions, can I throw a tantrum & the other person will share it with me? Lol
Some people thought the mother should've stepped in *adds the one comment from the one a*****e*
Not teaching kids to accept losing gracefully is how you end up with narcissistic, orange-skinned presidents.
I was in a situation like this when I was a kid.. I was forced to give up what I earned (contest not raffle) it stays with you. Im not bitter or upset at my parents for it, because I know what I accomplished. That.said, I absolutely did not learn any lessons other than some people get things they dont deserve or work for. And even when you win something people take it.
NTA - there are no participation trophies for raffles. The little brat learned an important lesson... that is if his parents didn't give in to his tantrum in another way.
Sounds like something called a Cornish Auction or Cornish Raffle. My car club does these each year in aid of charity and we all donate a prize. One year I won 7 prizes! I now only put my tickets in for a few prizes that I want to win. And no, I didn't share! Life isn't fair. Get over it!
The lesson that raffles and gambling is unfair is important. And it's not cool to pressure kids into giving away stuff they really wanted is going to make them resentful, not compassionate. If you want to teach your children empathy and generosity there's no other ways than being generous with your own stuff, giving away your own things to others while they see it, and being empathetic at your own cost, because children learn by watching others, not being forced to do it against their will. It's also an important lesson to tech kids NOT to give into temper tantrums just as much as teaching them not to throw temper tantrums. If OP had forced to give away their price, all they'd taught them was that it doesn't matter who's right, you'll be punished for being quiet and rewarded for creating drama.
That's what birthday parties and Christmas are for. How embarrassing that those adults felt it was there place to address someone else's child about... Someone else's child.
That YTA comment is prob the mother or the father of the child who lost.
Yeah NTA. Not only is it not OP's kid's responsibility to placate another kid, but giving the other kid the car would've just stomped all over the teaching moment the parents were giving him. The dad already handled it, taking the kid outside when he had a meltdown and neither parent approached OP or the kid about the prize. Had they chosen to give the prize to the kid anyway that flies right in the face of whatever lesson the parents were already teaching him. I feel sad for the kid who really liked the car, but this is how life works. OP and the kid's parents were doing the right thing. On the contrary, everyone who told OP to make the kid give up his prize is probably projecting their own bitterness at not winning onto the situation...
The woman that called the lucky little boy arrogant is a nasty Karen. WHY SHOULD THE CHILD HAVE TO GIVE UP ANYTHING THAT HE WON FAIR & SQUARE!!!! SHE IS THE A#@HO&!!
NTA. I never made my kids share their belongings; if another child asked to play with something of theirs and the answer was 'no' , I supported my kids decision _ asked and answered! Even when [older] family members would say said I should make them share, I was quite happy to explain why I shouldn't. And it was reciprocal - if they were on the receiving end of 'no', I would tell them to accept it and move on.
Some thought the mother should've intervened? Followed by a rant from a crazy person. I'm sorry to hear about that one kid, but he'll get over it and possibly learn something. The other kid had a stroke of good fortune. Let him enjoy it; they don't happen often. Taking something from him because he had good fortune is just weird. The rest of his life, in his mind, good fortune will come with a hidden price.
It is absolutely okay the child put all his tickets into to of the drawing options - it's his choice. I've done this with 50/50 drawings and then donated the "winnings" back to the cause; it's a win-win.
The last YTA is a complete no clue fool. You did nothing wrong. no-Situation1480 sounds like she is bitter with life. Sorry but a kid throwing a huge fit and then being rewarded is is bad move. That is how overbearing brats and entitled adults are born. The actual parents said nothing to you. That other family are nosy busy bodies who need to shut up and but out.
I noticed that the “Buy a consolation prize” option was at a solid 0% (as it should be). Goes to show that people love to run their mouth about their opinions, but won’t spend a dime of their money or time to back up those “beliefs”.
The quizzes never seem to include whatever my answer would be.
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The sole YTA moron should be made to share half their belongings with total strangers and see if they still sing the same tune. Dum-doo even has the gall to call the kid arrogant when they sound like an absolute imbecile. The kid won his gifts fair and square, the other kid gets to learn a life lesson where you don't always get what you want. Good on OP for supporting her kid. Maybe someone ought to teach YTA moron as well. SMH!!!
Really!?! If I won the lotto should I have to share with everybody else who played and didn't win??? Hell NO! The other parents shouldn't have tried to pressure him to give up his prize and the mother of the other kid should've kept her son from trying to guilt him by going over to stare at the car he didn't win. It's important for children to learn that you win some and you lose some and it's ok.
And that's why I HATE the book The Rainbow Fish. That's exactly what the book teaches, give away YOUR stuff if others have tantrums.
I read the book to my daughter and explained the message it conveyed, but I also explained the message it left out. She's six and she understands that it's okay to have nice things, but you don't have to give them away if you didn't want to, just to make someone happy. Edit: for typo.
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Bro when I lost a raffle by a few numbers I don’t go and cry I just be like ok I would not really win it anyway it’s a low chance
Completely on the job of the tantruming kid's parents to have prepared him better. I say this as a parent of a 3 yo. There will be a lot of things you wont win at. That life. makes those times you do win that much better. Glad this mom stuck to her guns. Good for them
The mother was way more civil than I would have been. Take that rude entitled biatch aside and tell her that she has so much to learn and ask if that's how she gets her way.
What about the other children who didn't win and didn't throw tantrums? Sometimes squeaky wheels should just be allowed to squeak.
The adult who suggested Cameron give away his prize was ot of order. It was manipulative and cruel to both kids.
The comment that YTA is literally what's wrong with kids today. Parents like that are the reason we give participation trophys to kids who didn't earn them. And I'm sorry but f off if you think that her child was arrogant for putting all his tickets on the two items he wanted! That👏is👏how👏 raffles👏work👏Karen!!! Seriously to the OP encourage your child to enjoy the rewards when they come and be gracious when they don't because that's life plain and simple.
NTA. My father would give away our things and would say, "You have too many." This created resentment not only towards my father but also towards the peope who received those things. This resentment lasted even until after his death, which was decades later.
What is wrong with people? The .mother did the right thing by letting her child make his decision as it was fair. Why should she let someone else's bratty child dictate what her child does with a prize that he won? The other child acted like an entitled sore looser. Children need to learn that you loose some and that you win some. When a parent makes a choice to please others, it tells the child that you don't respect their choices. You raise your child as you see fit.
Guess the AC and Vegas casinos owe me lots of money then. Next time I’ll throw a huge tantrum and cry to get my losses back.
If you read the a*s hole forums people expecting kids to give there toys away to tantrum ing brats is pretty common.
I can't believe I'm even reading this. An ill bred brat has a tantrum because they didn't win something in a children's raffle and other parents are telling the winner to give up their prize? If someone had suggested that when my kids were little, I would have just looked at them and laughed. Being compassionate for those less fortunate is a far cry from a spoiled child's tantrum. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when that kid grows up and tries to get his first job.
I could MAYBE see if the raffle was free or something. MAYBE. But they all paid for a chance to win. Which means the parents essentially paid for the two prizes. Would anyone ever be saying that the kid should give the brat one of the toys his parents bought him? Of course not. So why would this be any different? And the obvious lesson would be for the crying kid that you don't get everything you want, especially just because your throw a tantrum.
LOL at YTA - guessing family, possibly not mom though as she would have likely come forward with her Kareness before this. Learning to accept no at a young age and losing gracefully appear to be disappearing as morals in this age of entitlement.
NTA... if the parents are spoiling that boy beyond rotten & have yet to teach him the old saying "beggars can't be choosers" then that's NOT your problem... it's theirs. Kudos for standing up for your son & telling them no. It's his cause he won, not the brat.
When I was a tween, my local games club had a raffle. I borrowed £1 from a friend for a strip. A kid several years younger than me (maybe 7/8ish?) spent a lot more on tickets (idk how much, but certainly not free). I got a prize - a plush - and he didn't. Kid didn't make a fuss about me getting a prize - just about him not getting one - and I still felt guilty for years that I didn't give it to him. Really hope Cameron from this story doesn't end up carrying that same guilt about getting lucky once
NTA : Forcing Cameron to give the car may have harmed his trust in his mother... I just hope the parents of the little boy who lose gave him a little gift to console him. However, I must admit that I am very skeptical about this idea of 'Life is unfair and it's a good lesson to learn at a young age'. We come across this type of comments more and more often, and I think it's no better than teaching them that " everything is owed to them". I find it rather unhealthy, and I wonder if it might not create adults who will accept all kinds of injustices and inequalities simply out of resignation? Now, it's just a car toy story, no big deal, but it's becoming popular these days to play the cynics and to be a bit too always on the side of the winner, saying "well, too bad..." And I don't think it's too good either to get children used to that. It's just my opinion, but I find it slightly cruel to ask the disappointed one to smile or even to be "happy" for the one who comes out better than him.
Huh. So...am I entitled to part of someone else's lottery win because I played but didn't win anything? I mean - geez - it's part of life. Kids need to learn that games (lotteries, raffles, etc.) are meant to be won. Not meant to be shared.
look, if the parents are going to let their child gamble, that child has to learn that you are more likely to lose than to win. and yes, sometimes some people get lucky multiple times and others win nothing. that's just life
Please, giving the toy is NOT sharing it! Sharing is letting use something that is yours, not losing ownership of it.
The audacity of other families trying to tell him what to do with his prize. People need to mind their own business. I have an entire repertoire of colorful adjectives for people like that.
Meh, this is situational honesty. My kid has emotional development issues. There aren’t any outward sign he just doesn’t grasp some concepts. He would probably be the kid throwing the tantrum. It isn’t bad parenting or he’s entitled really he just has issues with emotions. He’s in counseling and goes to special school for it but progress is slow. I’ve learned from him that it’s not always right to jump to the entitlement knee jerk. He is also a sweet kid and because he’s at least partially aware he has issues (very smart 7 year old) if I asked him if he wanted to give away one of his things he may do so because he can empathize with having overreactions to not getting what he wants. Too many circumstances to say anyone was an ahole here.
Unless they were the only two in the drawing having dropped in ONE ticket each, there's zero guarantee the other kid would have been the winner had it not been your son.
These YTA people are crazy AF and part of the reason why society is going straight to hell. This actually happened to my son, and I told the organizers of the event that my son put in his tickets and since he won, he was taking all of his prizes. It's not his fault he was picked 3 times, he wasn't pulling the tickets.
Once, when our kids were small, one of them lost at a raffle. They started crying and said, "It's so unfair!" I explained that by definition, raffles operated by luck, and that luck IS unfair and completely random. "You can't earn or deserve what falls into your lap randomly. So you shouldn't expect it to, and when it does, be doubly grateful." Her understanding that early served her well later in life.
Clarifying question; should he also give an individual lego piece to every other child who put tickets in for the lego set? How many other kids put tickets in that basket and didn't win anything? Would folding to the kid throwing a tantrum be fair to them? Jesus. Kids throw tantrums, they shouldn't be required to have mastered emotional regulation, but THIS is how they learn it.
It is OKAY to feel bad that you didn't get something, that you didn't win, that something didn't go your way, that you hurt. That teaches you that everybody experiences pain, disappointment, discomfort, moves through it and gets past it. This is how young people gradually learn what is really important in life, what to assign real meaning to, and what is so hurtful now will be forgotten in a day or week or month.
My kid is 5. The school did a raffle a couple of months back. They had a drawing. Like a fancy little basket. One for each grade. My kid cried when she didn't win. It went over her head because she's too young to fully understand raffles. I tried explaining that she can't win everything. I think some kids are just too young for raffles and these prizes shouldn't be flaunted around. However, OP is NTA. That's how raffles work. You win some, you lose some. The audacity of people suggesting he give up his prize. All it would do is teach the other kid that throwing a fit gets him something and that's a huge no.
Kudos to teaching the tantrum kid a valuable life lesson! He’s got to get them from somewhere since he seems to be lagging at home.
NTA. I winner 5 if the other parents at the table would have said the same thing if their child has been lucky enough to win two prizes. Or perhaps were disappointed that their children weren't winners either. That's the way raffles work. The parents of the boy throwing the tantrum did the right thing by taking out of the room to calm down. Kids, and some adults, need to learn to deal with disappoint and other mishaps in life. Every notice how often we accept good fortune as our right/reward, and bad luck with "Why me? ' or " Not fair "? Kids, and some adults, need to learn that sometimes life just sucks. But that's makes good times, and good fortune, all the sweeter. You can also bet that for a birthday or other special occasion, that Little boy will likely receive a really cool remote car. His parents seem to be teaching him well.
Giving in to the tantrum in any regard would just be lending itself to entitlement. Maybe the kid was on the spectrum or something but that's still no excuse not to use it as a teachable moment.
NTA. I'd never disencourage kindness, but also - that's just how it goes. If it is ok to not have luck, it shouldn't be frowned on having every luck you wish, as he had. I'd have left it to him, but in no way would I force it, let alone at a tantrum-throwing loser who can't accept that this is all up to the same luck for them all. Sometimes, you win. Sometimes, you win by knowing stuff AND luck, sometimes only luck counts. I'd had both in the same event, a music contest where a friend's band was participating, and ate for free - we had to guess the total area of Braunschweig. I had looked it up on wikipedia a day before or so, for unrelated reasons, so I knew it was (then, corrected since) 192.13 km², while the second-closest guessed "I don't know, fifty?". They said it was only 192.12, but that clearly didn't make any. There, I won like 5 or 10 € worth of eats on site. Anyway, the next time, I won by having the right number on my ticket - free drinks, also. Tantrums ... well ... if he's too young to accept losing, he shouldn't be in that game to begin with. If you sign up for this, tied to that, and then don't want that, but still this, although this already was won by elsewhom, ... yeah, tantrum myass, that don't work with me, I'm not your Daddy and won't have trouble at bedtime, so ... what, me worry?
NTA And those that say you are are screwy. The boy won fair and square and the mom said he had entered raffles before and won nothing. If the two of them had been walking down the street and someone gave them both toys, then yes, sharing would have been fair. Do these people expect to take a gift to a birthday party and have the birthday child give tgem one to go home with? The people shaming you to share are the same ones who whined until their babies got participation trophies at sports competitions. And now their kids are out there demanding a college education and job "to be equal and fair", when they earned neither. Let's stop raising future politiciations and lawyers to expect that thumping the table and screaming, will make them winners. The young boy can certainly offer to play together, with the toys. But in the end, they are his.
It was a chance to learn a lesson about luck but also it was a chance to learn about generosity as well. I wouldn't have told the kid to give away the car, but I would have suggested it would be a nice thing to do. If he said no, I'd leave it at that.
The suggestion would have undermined the lesson on luck and would have sent a lowkey damaging message that he was not a generous person if he didn't give up what he had won, especially if he was a generous person in general. Other ways to teach generosity, this is NOT one of them.
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The AC and Vegas casinos owe me lots of money then. I should have thrown a huge tantrum and cried to get my losses back.
My thinking is simple, what about all the other kids who didn't win? Don't they have every much right to it as Timmy Tantrum? Give it to the kid who cries you're (a) rewarding his s****y behaviour, and (b) encouraging all the other kids who didn't win to throw a tantrum too. Maybe then he can give away his lego prize to the next kid who cries a lot. edit: In case that's not clear, no he shouldn't give away the prize.
Would have been nice, but ultimately came down to the child's decision. He won it fair and square, and the other kid needs to learn how to handle disappointment.
I remember many years ago as a young adult, I was at some parade thingy and they threw out stuff. I caught a big bead necklace and some little boy started whining like a brat that he wanted it. I calmly said no and ignored him. If he had asked me politely, I would have given it to him. Even if polite, if someone says no, you respect that and move on. I certainly never got everything I wanted as a kid. You don't always get what you want and kids need to learn this lesson. If you wait until they are adults, or even teens, then it's already too late.
This Mom is NOT the YTA. The As@h@@@ is the kid who LOST, and got upset.. He is THE LOOSER, what about all the other kids that did not win, including the winner's brother. Even the Dad of this LOOSER knew the kid was wrong to throw this tantrum fit. GOOD FOR YOU MOM! ..Cameron had WON these two prizes, FAIRLEY, in the drawings. They belong to him, and it should be his decision to do what he wants to with them. Hell,, he may even SHARE them with his brother, who did not win either. As for the LOOSER, he needs to learn, NOT EVERYBODY IS A WINNER; WE ALL DON'T GET Everything we want; and you can't always get what you want by having a tantrum, and making a scene. Those who think the LOOSER should be given the prize, are only encouraging the LOOSER by giving him a reward for his bad behavior.. IF they feel this bad for the LOOSER, let them give the LOOSER their money that will be a big enticement to teach the LOOSER a new lesson in life to get his way .. again
Hugo, that undermines the lesson on how luck work.
Load More Replies... The difference is, they were on the same playing field -all who entered paid the same price for tix and had an equal opportunity to win, unlike the billionaire hoarders and the rest of us.
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This! She even called the little boy arrogant. I bet she's one of those who throw tantrums to get their self invented, not existing rights.
Load More Replies... Or the parent who suggested he give it to the kid and they didn't like that no one else agreed
Load More Replies... What are you teaching these kids? Start with the losing kid. He throws a tantrum for not getting what he wants. And parents seek to reward that? No. Hard no. That teaches entitlement. And the winning kid? If you encourage him to hand it over you teach him the same lesson, only you also teach him to be willing to give in if someone cries enough. There are a lot of lessons that needed teaching. By not giving it to the kid, you started teaching everything that needed to be taught. Little dude will get over it. Just because he's too young to understand doesn't mean he can't begin to. Anyone suggesting otherwise is a terrible parent. S
Where did the parents teach the winning kid anything bad? They didn't interfere at all here, which was the best course to take. The kid said "no" on his own, even when faced with "well meaning" adults trying to coerce him otherwise. Parents did a good job.
Load More Replies... So when someone wins the next mega millions, can I throw a tantrum & the other person will share it with me? Lol
Some people thought the mother should've stepped in *adds the one comment from the one a*****e*
Not teaching kids to accept losing gracefully is how you end up with narcissistic, orange-skinned presidents.
I was in a situation like this when I was a kid.. I was forced to give up what I earned (contest not raffle) it stays with you. Im not bitter or upset at my parents for it, because I know what I accomplished. That.said, I absolutely did not learn any lessons other than some people get things they dont deserve or work for. And even when you win something people take it.
NTA - there are no participation trophies for raffles. The little brat learned an important lesson... that is if his parents didn't give in to his tantrum in another way.
Sounds like something called a Cornish Auction or Cornish Raffle. My car club does these each year in aid of charity and we all donate a prize. One year I won 7 prizes! I now only put my tickets in for a few prizes that I want to win. And no, I didn't share! Life isn't fair. Get over it!
The lesson that raffles and gambling is unfair is important. And it's not cool to pressure kids into giving away stuff they really wanted is going to make them resentful, not compassionate. If you want to teach your children empathy and generosity there's no other ways than being generous with your own stuff, giving away your own things to others while they see it, and being empathetic at your own cost, because children learn by watching others, not being forced to do it against their will. It's also an important lesson to tech kids NOT to give into temper tantrums just as much as teaching them not to throw temper tantrums. If OP had forced to give away their price, all they'd taught them was that it doesn't matter who's right, you'll be punished for being quiet and rewarded for creating drama.
That's what birthday parties and Christmas are for. How embarrassing that those adults felt it was there place to address someone else's child about... Someone else's child.
That YTA comment is prob the mother or the father of the child who lost.
Yeah NTA. Not only is it not OP's kid's responsibility to placate another kid, but giving the other kid the car would've just stomped all over the teaching moment the parents were giving him. The dad already handled it, taking the kid outside when he had a meltdown and neither parent approached OP or the kid about the prize. Had they chosen to give the prize to the kid anyway that flies right in the face of whatever lesson the parents were already teaching him. I feel sad for the kid who really liked the car, but this is how life works. OP and the kid's parents were doing the right thing. On the contrary, everyone who told OP to make the kid give up his prize is probably projecting their own bitterness at not winning onto the situation...
The woman that called the lucky little boy arrogant is a nasty Karen. WHY SHOULD THE CHILD HAVE TO GIVE UP ANYTHING THAT HE WON FAIR & SQUARE!!!! SHE IS THE A#@HO&!!
NTA. I never made my kids share their belongings; if another child asked to play with something of theirs and the answer was 'no' , I supported my kids decision _ asked and answered! Even when [older] family members would say said I should make them share, I was quite happy to explain why I shouldn't. And it was reciprocal - if they were on the receiving end of 'no', I would tell them to accept it and move on.
Some thought the mother should've intervened? Followed by a rant from a crazy person. I'm sorry to hear about that one kid, but he'll get over it and possibly learn something. The other kid had a stroke of good fortune. Let him enjoy it; they don't happen often. Taking something from him because he had good fortune is just weird. The rest of his life, in his mind, good fortune will come with a hidden price.
It is absolutely okay the child put all his tickets into to of the drawing options - it's his choice. I've done this with 50/50 drawings and then donated the "winnings" back to the cause; it's a win-win.
The last YTA is a complete no clue fool. You did nothing wrong. no-Situation1480 sounds like she is bitter with life. Sorry but a kid throwing a huge fit and then being rewarded is is bad move. That is how overbearing brats and entitled adults are born. The actual parents said nothing to you. That other family are nosy busy bodies who need to shut up and but out.
I noticed that the “Buy a consolation prize” option was at a solid 0% (as it should be). Goes to show that people love to run their mouth about their opinions, but won’t spend a dime of their money or time to back up those “beliefs”.
The quizzes never seem to include whatever my answer would be.
Load More Replies... The sole YTA moron should be made to share half their belongings with total strangers and see if they still sing the same tune. Dum-doo even has the gall to call the kid arrogant when they sound like an absolute imbecile. The kid won his gifts fair and square, the other kid gets to learn a life lesson where you don't always get what you want. Good on OP for supporting her kid. Maybe someone ought to teach YTA moron as well. SMH!!!
Really!?! If I won the lotto should I have to share with everybody else who played and didn't win??? Hell NO! The other parents shouldn't have tried to pressure him to give up his prize and the mother of the other kid should've kept her son from trying to guilt him by going over to stare at the car he didn't win. It's important for children to learn that you win some and you lose some and it's ok.
And that's why I HATE the book The Rainbow Fish. That's exactly what the book teaches, give away YOUR stuff if others have tantrums.
I read the book to my daughter and explained the message it conveyed, but I also explained the message it left out. She's six and she understands that it's okay to have nice things, but you don't have to give them away if you didn't want to, just to make someone happy. Edit: for typo.
Load More Replies... Bro when I lost a raffle by a few numbers I don’t go and cry I just be like ok I would not really win it anyway it’s a low chance
Completely on the job of the tantruming kid's parents to have prepared him better. I say this as a parent of a 3 yo. There will be a lot of things you wont win at. That life. makes those times you do win that much better. Glad this mom stuck to her guns. Good for them
The mother was way more civil than I would have been. Take that rude entitled biatch aside and tell her that she has so much to learn and ask if that's how she gets her way.
What about the other children who didn't win and didn't throw tantrums? Sometimes squeaky wheels should just be allowed to squeak.
The adult who suggested Cameron give away his prize was ot of order. It was manipulative and cruel to both kids.
The comment that YTA is literally what's wrong with kids today. Parents like that are the reason we give participation trophys to kids who didn't earn them. And I'm sorry but f off if you think that her child was arrogant for putting all his tickets on the two items he wanted! That👏is👏how👏 raffles👏work👏Karen!!! Seriously to the OP encourage your child to enjoy the rewards when they come and be gracious when they don't because that's life plain and simple.
NTA. My father would give away our things and would say, "You have too many." This created resentment not only towards my father but also towards the peope who received those things. This resentment lasted even until after his death, which was decades later.
What is wrong with people? The .mother did the right thing by letting her child make his decision as it was fair. Why should she let someone else's bratty child dictate what her child does with a prize that he won? The other child acted like an entitled sore looser. Children need to learn that you loose some and that you win some. When a parent makes a choice to please others, it tells the child that you don't respect their choices. You raise your child as you see fit.
Guess the AC and Vegas casinos owe me lots of money then. Next time I’ll throw a huge tantrum and cry to get my losses back.
If you read the a*s hole forums people expecting kids to give there toys away to tantrum ing brats is pretty common.
I can't believe I'm even reading this. An ill bred brat has a tantrum because they didn't win something in a children's raffle and other parents are telling the winner to give up their prize? If someone had suggested that when my kids were little, I would have just looked at them and laughed. Being compassionate for those less fortunate is a far cry from a spoiled child's tantrum. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when that kid grows up and tries to get his first job.
I could MAYBE see if the raffle was free or something. MAYBE. But they all paid for a chance to win. Which means the parents essentially paid for the two prizes. Would anyone ever be saying that the kid should give the brat one of the toys his parents bought him? Of course not. So why would this be any different? And the obvious lesson would be for the crying kid that you don't get everything you want, especially just because your throw a tantrum.
LOL at YTA - guessing family, possibly not mom though as she would have likely come forward with her Kareness before this. Learning to accept no at a young age and losing gracefully appear to be disappearing as morals in this age of entitlement.
NTA... if the parents are spoiling that boy beyond rotten & have yet to teach him the old saying "beggars can't be choosers" then that's NOT your problem... it's theirs. Kudos for standing up for your son & telling them no. It's his cause he won, not the brat.
When I was a tween, my local games club had a raffle. I borrowed £1 from a friend for a strip. A kid several years younger than me (maybe 7/8ish?) spent a lot more on tickets (idk how much, but certainly not free). I got a prize - a plush - and he didn't. Kid didn't make a fuss about me getting a prize - just about him not getting one - and I still felt guilty for years that I didn't give it to him. Really hope Cameron from this story doesn't end up carrying that same guilt about getting lucky once
NTA : Forcing Cameron to give the car may have harmed his trust in his mother... I just hope the parents of the little boy who lose gave him a little gift to console him. However, I must admit that I am very skeptical about this idea of 'Life is unfair and it's a good lesson to learn at a young age'. We come across this type of comments more and more often, and I think it's no better than teaching them that " everything is owed to them". I find it rather unhealthy, and I wonder if it might not create adults who will accept all kinds of injustices and inequalities simply out of resignation? Now, it's just a car toy story, no big deal, but it's becoming popular these days to play the cynics and to be a bit too always on the side of the winner, saying "well, too bad..." And I don't think it's too good either to get children used to that. It's just my opinion, but I find it slightly cruel to ask the disappointed one to smile or even to be "happy" for the one who comes out better than him.
Huh. So...am I entitled to part of someone else's lottery win because I played but didn't win anything? I mean - geez - it's part of life. Kids need to learn that games (lotteries, raffles, etc.) are meant to be won. Not meant to be shared.
look, if the parents are going to let their child gamble, that child has to learn that you are more likely to lose than to win. and yes, sometimes some people get lucky multiple times and others win nothing. that's just life
Please, giving the toy is NOT sharing it! Sharing is letting use something that is yours, not losing ownership of it.
The audacity of other families trying to tell him what to do with his prize. People need to mind their own business. I have an entire repertoire of colorful adjectives for people like that.
Meh, this is situational honesty. My kid has emotional development issues. There aren’t any outward sign he just doesn’t grasp some concepts. He would probably be the kid throwing the tantrum. It isn’t bad parenting or he’s entitled really he just has issues with emotions. He’s in counseling and goes to special school for it but progress is slow. I’ve learned from him that it’s not always right to jump to the entitlement knee jerk. He is also a sweet kid and because he’s at least partially aware he has issues (very smart 7 year old) if I asked him if he wanted to give away one of his things he may do so because he can empathize with having overreactions to not getting what he wants. Too many circumstances to say anyone was an ahole here.
Unless they were the only two in the drawing having dropped in ONE ticket each, there's zero guarantee the other kid would have been the winner had it not been your son.
These YTA people are crazy AF and part of the reason why society is going straight to hell. This actually happened to my son, and I told the organizers of the event that my son put in his tickets and since he won, he was taking all of his prizes. It's not his fault he was picked 3 times, he wasn't pulling the tickets.
Once, when our kids were small, one of them lost at a raffle. They started crying and said, "It's so unfair!" I explained that by definition, raffles operated by luck, and that luck IS unfair and completely random. "You can't earn or deserve what falls into your lap randomly. So you shouldn't expect it to, and when it does, be doubly grateful." Her understanding that early served her well later in life.
Clarifying question; should he also give an individual lego piece to every other child who put tickets in for the lego set? How many other kids put tickets in that basket and didn't win anything? Would folding to the kid throwing a tantrum be fair to them? Jesus. Kids throw tantrums, they shouldn't be required to have mastered emotional regulation, but THIS is how they learn it.
It is OKAY to feel bad that you didn't get something, that you didn't win, that something didn't go your way, that you hurt. That teaches you that everybody experiences pain, disappointment, discomfort, moves through it and gets past it. This is how young people gradually learn what is really important in life, what to assign real meaning to, and what is so hurtful now will be forgotten in a day or week or month.
My kid is 5. The school did a raffle a couple of months back. They had a drawing. Like a fancy little basket. One for each grade. My kid cried when she didn't win. It went over her head because she's too young to fully understand raffles. I tried explaining that she can't win everything. I think some kids are just too young for raffles and these prizes shouldn't be flaunted around. However, OP is NTA. That's how raffles work. You win some, you lose some. The audacity of people suggesting he give up his prize. All it would do is teach the other kid that throwing a fit gets him something and that's a huge no.
Kudos to teaching the tantrum kid a valuable life lesson! He’s got to get them from somewhere since he seems to be lagging at home.
NTA. I winner 5 if the other parents at the table would have said the same thing if their child has been lucky enough to win two prizes. Or perhaps were disappointed that their children weren't winners either. That's the way raffles work. The parents of the boy throwing the tantrum did the right thing by taking out of the room to calm down. Kids, and some adults, need to learn to deal with disappoint and other mishaps in life. Every notice how often we accept good fortune as our right/reward, and bad luck with "Why me? ' or " Not fair "? Kids, and some adults, need to learn that sometimes life just sucks. But that's makes good times, and good fortune, all the sweeter. You can also bet that for a birthday or other special occasion, that Little boy will likely receive a really cool remote car. His parents seem to be teaching him well.
Giving in to the tantrum in any regard would just be lending itself to entitlement. Maybe the kid was on the spectrum or something but that's still no excuse not to use it as a teachable moment.
NTA. I'd never disencourage kindness, but also - that's just how it goes. If it is ok to not have luck, it shouldn't be frowned on having every luck you wish, as he had. I'd have left it to him, but in no way would I force it, let alone at a tantrum-throwing loser who can't accept that this is all up to the same luck for them all. Sometimes, you win. Sometimes, you win by knowing stuff AND luck, sometimes only luck counts. I'd had both in the same event, a music contest where a friend's band was participating, and ate for free - we had to guess the total area of Braunschweig. I had looked it up on wikipedia a day before or so, for unrelated reasons, so I knew it was (then, corrected since) 192.13 km², while the second-closest guessed "I don't know, fifty?". They said it was only 192.12, but that clearly didn't make any. There, I won like 5 or 10 € worth of eats on site. Anyway, the next time, I won by having the right number on my ticket - free drinks, also. Tantrums ... well ... if he's too young to accept losing, he shouldn't be in that game to begin with. If you sign up for this, tied to that, and then don't want that, but still this, although this already was won by elsewhom, ... yeah, tantrum myass, that don't work with me, I'm not your Daddy and won't have trouble at bedtime, so ... what, me worry?
NTA And those that say you are are screwy. The boy won fair and square and the mom said he had entered raffles before and won nothing. If the two of them had been walking down the street and someone gave them both toys, then yes, sharing would have been fair. Do these people expect to take a gift to a birthday party and have the birthday child give tgem one to go home with? The people shaming you to share are the same ones who whined until their babies got participation trophies at sports competitions. And now their kids are out there demanding a college education and job "to be equal and fair", when they earned neither. Let's stop raising future politiciations and lawyers to expect that thumping the table and screaming, will make them winners. The young boy can certainly offer to play together, with the toys. But in the end, they are his.
It was a chance to learn a lesson about luck but also it was a chance to learn about generosity as well. I wouldn't have told the kid to give away the car, but I would have suggested it would be a nice thing to do. If he said no, I'd leave it at that.
The suggestion would have undermined the lesson on luck and would have sent a lowkey damaging message that he was not a generous person if he didn't give up what he had won, especially if he was a generous person in general. Other ways to teach generosity, this is NOT one of them.
Load More Replies... The AC and Vegas casinos owe me lots of money then. I should have thrown a huge tantrum and cried to get my losses back.
My thinking is simple, what about all the other kids who didn't win? Don't they have every much right to it as Timmy Tantrum? Give it to the kid who cries you're (a) rewarding his s****y behaviour, and (b) encouraging all the other kids who didn't win to throw a tantrum too. Maybe then he can give away his lego prize to the next kid who cries a lot. edit: In case that's not clear, no he shouldn't give away the prize.
Would have been nice, but ultimately came down to the child's decision. He won it fair and square, and the other kid needs to learn how to handle disappointment.
I remember many years ago as a young adult, I was at some parade thingy and they threw out stuff. I caught a big bead necklace and some little boy started whining like a brat that he wanted it. I calmly said no and ignored him. If he had asked me politely, I would have given it to him. Even if polite, if someone says no, you respect that and move on. I certainly never got everything I wanted as a kid. You don't always get what you want and kids need to learn this lesson. If you wait until they are adults, or even teens, then it's already too late.
This Mom is NOT the YTA. The As@h@@@ is the kid who LOST, and got upset.. He is THE LOOSER, what about all the other kids that did not win, including the winner's brother. Even the Dad of this LOOSER knew the kid was wrong to throw this tantrum fit. GOOD FOR YOU MOM! ..Cameron had WON these two prizes, FAIRLEY, in the drawings. They belong to him, and it should be his decision to do what he wants to with them. Hell,, he may even SHARE them with his brother, who did not win either. As for the LOOSER, he needs to learn, NOT EVERYBODY IS A WINNER; WE ALL DON'T GET Everything we want; and you can't always get what you want by having a tantrum, and making a scene. Those who think the LOOSER should be given the prize, are only encouraging the LOOSER by giving him a reward for his bad behavior.. IF they feel this bad for the LOOSER, let them give the LOOSER their money that will be a big enticement to teach the LOOSER a new lesson in life to get his way .. again
Hugo, that undermines the lesson on how luck work.
Load More Replies... The difference is, they were on the same playing field -all who entered paid the same price for tix and had an equal opportunity to win, unlike the billionaire hoarders and the rest of us.
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