Mom Gets Mad Over Daughter’s Refusal To Let Stepdad Walk Her Down The Aisle
According to all-knowing statistics, there are approximately 5K weddings in the U.S. every day. Of course, this is an average figure, because usually weddings take place on weekends, but be that as it may, around 5 thousand brides are walking down the aisle across the country per day. And someone is walking them as well.
It is usually assumed that this crucial role is played by the father of the bride, but in fact we know many stories when a real family drama flared up about this. And here’s another story for you – from the user u/TroubleInSnow, who almost cut ties with her own mother as a result.
The author of the post is going to marry soon and the question of who should walk her down the aisle arose
Image credits: Asad Photo Maldives (not the actual photo)
The woman’s biological dad passed away many years ago and her mom remarried when the author was around 17
Image credits: TroubleInSnow
The author admits that she’s on good terms with her stepdad but nothing more
Image credits: Thegiansepillo (not the actual photo)
Image credits: TroubleInSnow
So the bride-to-be decided she wanted her uncle to walk her down the aisle at the upcoming ceremony
Image credits: Charles A. Pickup (not the actual photo)
Image credits: TroubleInSnow
However, both the stepdad and the bride’s mom thought it was kind of a betrayal on her side
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that her biological dad passed away when she was a little kid, and years later her mother remarried. The author of the post was already 17 then, she mostly lived with her grandparents, so she did not have a particularly close relationship with her stepfather. Yes, the OP admits that he turned out to be a nice guy, but nothing more.
As the years passed, the original poster entered and graduated from college (with little help from her parents, to be honest), met her future fiancé – and planned their wedding. Great, but who’s going to walk the bride down the aisle? And here, as it turned out, the bride and her parents had diametrically opposed opinions.
The OP herself wanted this honorary function to be performed by her uncle, the brother of her biological dad, with whom she is on excellent terms. But both her mom and her spouse, as it turned out, took it for granted that it was the stepdad who would be the father of the bride. And when the author of the post shared her thoughts on this matter, her opinion was considered almost a betrayal…
Yes, the couple sincerely believed that the OP should be eternally grateful to her stepfather “for what he did for her”! Moreover, for some reason, the man considered it his personal merit that she received a college degree… The result of the conversation was a family drama, and the bride-to-be simply blocked her mom for some time. The author believed that when it’s time for her siblings to go to the altar, their biological father should lead them, but at her upcoming wedding, he will be nothing more than a guest. Guest of honor, yes. Father of the bride – no.
Image credits: Carsten Vollrath (not the actual photo)
In one of our recent posts on a similar topic, we mentioned that although traditionally the bride is led to the altar by her father, biological or a stepdad, this is not at all an axiom. And only the future newlyweds decide to whom to entrust this responsibility at the upcoming ceremony. This is a celebration, first of all, for two people, and only they should have the final choice.
“Over the years of my work, I have held more than a hundred weddings – and completely different people were walking the bride down the aisle,” says Denis Tsykanovsky, a wedding planner and host from Tel Aviv, Israel, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment on this tale. “Of course, mostly, almost ninety percent, I believe, actually were the fathers, but sometimes it turned out to be completely different people.”
“Brothers and sisters, mothers, grandparents, best friends and even bosses of one of the newlyweds. Yes, it happened too. In other words, it can be any person who is important for the future spouses. And, of course, the choice should be theirs and only theirs. To be absolutely precise, it should be the bride’s choice, because it is she who walks down the aisle, and it is up to her to decide,” the expert concludes.
The vast majority of people in the comments are in full solidarity with the bride and the expert, arguing that such behavior on the part of the author’s stepfather and her mom as well is absolutely inappropriate, exposing them both as entitled. “It’s amazing how this act of entitlement probably has just destroyed any good feelings OP had about her mom’s husband,” one of the commenters even wrote. And indeed, by this act, the man clearly transferred himself into the category of arrogant guys who unreasonably believe that someone owes them something simply on the basis of their official status. So what do you, our dear readers, think here?
Most people in the comments sided with the author, claiming that it was a true act of entitlement both from her stepdad and mom
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As a stepdad, I'm pretty offended that this guy just assumes he's earned anything. You can never assume you've earned anything as a stepparent. I've been in my kids' lives for longer than their bio-dad was now, but I can't assume I'll get to walk my daughter down the aisle either. That's up to her. I'd be honored if she allowed me to do that, but I don't get to tell her what I am to her. She decides that.
ConstantlyJon, you sir are doing step-parenting right!
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Just ask him, ok, “when is my birthday and which hospital I was born at?” I wonder his answer
Who were my school teachers? Who was my coach? When was my first X (menarche, trophy/honor, date, good report card, favorite food, allergies ad infinitum)? Mom's hubby is a clue-free self entitled a$s-hat. Utterly delusional!
Load More Replies... First off, OP's grandfather sounds like an amazing human! OP's mom and stepdad not so much. Secondly, my sister asked me (older sister) to walk her down the aisle. I was so emotional and completely honored that she asked and of course I said yes! She wasn't able to ask her dad (my step dad) as he had passed but I thought for sure she would ask our mom.
As a stepdad, I'm pretty offended that this guy just assumes he's earned anything. You can never assume you've earned anything as a stepparent. I've been in my kids' lives for longer than their bio-dad was now, but I can't assume I'll get to walk my daughter down the aisle either. That's up to her. I'd be honored if she allowed me to do that, but I don't get to tell her what I am to her. She decides that.
ConstantlyJon, you sir are doing step-parenting right!
Load More Replies... Just ask him, ok, “when is my birthday and which hospital I was born at?” I wonder his answer
Who were my school teachers? Who was my coach? When was my first X (menarche, trophy/honor, date, good report card, favorite food, allergies ad infinitum)? Mom's hubby is a clue-free self entitled a$s-hat. Utterly delusional!
Load More Replies... First off, OP's grandfather sounds like an amazing human! OP's mom and stepdad not so much. Secondly, my sister asked me (older sister) to walk her down the aisle. I was so emotional and completely honored that she asked and of course I said yes! She wasn't able to ask her dad (my step dad) as he had passed but I thought for sure she would ask our mom.
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