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Mom’s Viral Post Shows You Shouldn’t Visit Someone Who Just Gave Birth
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Mom’s Viral Post Shows You Shouldn’t Visit Someone Who Just Gave Birth

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The birth of a child is a big moment not only for their parents. New grandpas and grandmas, aunts and uncles, and pretty much all relatives and friends want to catch a glimpse of the little bundle of joy. However, in all of this chaos, people might forget the person they should be paying the most attention to. The mother. And it can really wear them down.

Katie Bowman, the “creator of twins and their big sister,” recently wrote an incredibly touching text, explaining the importance of rest for new moms. Shared on her blog Living My Family Life, the post resonated with thousands of women and should become a must-read for everyone who wants to go to the hospital to visit the new family member.

Image credits: livingmyfamilylife

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Katie thinks it’s normal for people to be so excited to see a new baby. “It’s a special moment and they want to be involved. I just think sometimes that overwhelming excitement can sometimes cloud their judgment, and they try to justify that seeing the new baby is more important than listening to what the new mum wants,” she told Bored Panda.

She believes there are only 2 things you can do to get away from this unwanted attention. Either ask for space or demand it when people don’t listen. It’s a very sensitive time and unfortunately, you’re normally made to feel like the bad guy no matter what you say.

“I was lucky to have people who wanted to celebrate the life of our daughter, I just had some a bit late, which left me feeling exhausted as shown in my picture, staring at everyone wishing they would leave so I could finally get some sleep. The whole post is not related specifically to my experience, but experiences in general for new mothers. I feel like it’s a subject where mums feel like they have to just take a back seat and allow their newborn to feel like everyone’s property. It’s about reminding everyone that childbirth is a special moment, and they need to remember that with a new baby, there is a new mother. A new mother who is made to feel like she can’t speak up about her own feelings, because apparently everyone else’s feelings are more important at this time.”

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The next time she was pregnant, Katie decided to avoid the tricky situation altogether.”For our second pregnancy, we said we probably wouldn’t want visitors at the hospital this time, especially with there being 2 babies. If it was going to be anything like my first birth, I knew I wasn’t going to want to put on a brave face to see anyone. As it was, the twins were a much easier delivery surprisingly and I felt great and ready to see family the next morning,” the mom said.

People had a lot to say about Katie’s powerful message

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The responses her post has received taught Katie that there are loads of mothers who wished they could have had some alone time with their new baby. “It’s a special moment, and it’s something they will never get back. Then there were people who proved exactly what I said. They made it sound like I was a complete drama queen because I wanted some rest instead of visitors. Apparently it’s got to be all or nothing.”

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viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tiffany Koonter's response had me gobsmacked. Seven years of cutting off contact over a few days of waiting??? Seriously? Because seeing the kid at five days old instead of five hours was so heart-breaking? Are they planning to take this petty c**p to their graves?

zselyke_szekely avatar
Nomadus Aureus
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are weird people like this. My mother is still salty about me not having wanted to go to ballet when I was five. I'm thirty...

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demi_zwaan avatar
Demi Zwaan
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like a very personal issue to you. Everyone in my family was very clear about visitors and how they where not allowed in the hospital, not on certain days/hours at home, etc. No problems at all. We always get cards with texts like 'mommy and the baby sleep from 2 to 4pm' or something like that, which means you don't visit at those times.

karanthalasa avatar
Alice Laughs
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. Setting up expectations in advance with clear communication isn't a universal skill, but a great one and can/should be learned! You can be direct and assertive while being kind.

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erin_16 avatar
Erin
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother and grandmother have always told me that it is impolite to visit someone that had just given birth unless you were invited and I have always followed that rule. I will watch the older spawn if needed (for my best girlfriend, I kept her older two until she got home) or I will send a meal over, and I will text and check in with them, but I DO NOT VISIT UNTIL INVITED. Then I go over to visit and take the little nugget and sniff its head and kiss its cheeks and bite its toes until told to stop.

gingerwinters avatar
Ginger Winters
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This! My family and my inlaws all waited till we were home and then waited to be invited. We waited till we had been home a whole 24 hrs before invites went out and then we got swarmed. I believe I took a nap during that time cause I don't remember it

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viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tiffany Koonter's response had me gobsmacked. Seven years of cutting off contact over a few days of waiting??? Seriously? Because seeing the kid at five days old instead of five hours was so heart-breaking? Are they planning to take this petty c**p to their graves?

zselyke_szekely avatar
Nomadus Aureus
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are weird people like this. My mother is still salty about me not having wanted to go to ballet when I was five. I'm thirty...

Load More Replies...
demi_zwaan avatar
Demi Zwaan
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like a very personal issue to you. Everyone in my family was very clear about visitors and how they where not allowed in the hospital, not on certain days/hours at home, etc. No problems at all. We always get cards with texts like 'mommy and the baby sleep from 2 to 4pm' or something like that, which means you don't visit at those times.

karanthalasa avatar
Alice Laughs
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. Setting up expectations in advance with clear communication isn't a universal skill, but a great one and can/should be learned! You can be direct and assertive while being kind.

Load More Replies...
erin_16 avatar
Erin
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother and grandmother have always told me that it is impolite to visit someone that had just given birth unless you were invited and I have always followed that rule. I will watch the older spawn if needed (for my best girlfriend, I kept her older two until she got home) or I will send a meal over, and I will text and check in with them, but I DO NOT VISIT UNTIL INVITED. Then I go over to visit and take the little nugget and sniff its head and kiss its cheeks and bite its toes until told to stop.

gingerwinters avatar
Ginger Winters
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This! My family and my inlaws all waited till we were home and then waited to be invited. We waited till we had been home a whole 24 hrs before invites went out and then we got swarmed. I believe I took a nap during that time cause I don't remember it

Load More Replies...
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