Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, high salaries and breezing by on ‘easy mode’ when you’re a man. No matter your gender, life is challenging. Your purpose isn’t handed to you on a silver platter. And happiness isn’t a guarantee if you don’t strive to move toward it. And there are a lot of things that guys would love everyone to know about what it’s actually like to be a man. Though, sometimes, we’re far too shy to say them out loud.
However, anonymity helps. Internet users have taken to Reddit to share the most annoying things about being a guy, after being prompted to open up their hearts by user u/justjuiced22. The answers, which you’ll find below, are candid and range from the silly-yet-relatable to the more serious. Have a read through the posts as you scroll down and upvote the ones that you agree with or that you were surprised by.
Do you have some thoughts on your mind that you’d like to share with the other readers? That’s what the comment section is there for, Pandas. So don’t be shy, share your own insights about the viral Reddit thread and what these men’s answers say about society, below.
I reached out to fitness expert Jack Bly for a few comments about masculinity, confidence, and men's issues. Here's what he had to say. "I’d say biggest issues that men have to deal with nowadays revolve around their inputs. Social media, TV, music, etc. Most people have inputs that constantly spout negativity and victim mentality. These inputs ultimately dictate their thoughts and as a result of their actions," he told Bored Panda. Scroll down for the full interview with Jack.
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When I'm out alone with my toddler a lot of women look at me as if I'm an anomaly and a lot of guys look at me as if I'm being forced to do this. Like the "oof sorry bro" face.
It's weird that being a good dad is apparently such a rare thing that when I'm fully in charge of my son people assume there's something wrong with me and my partners relationship. I just like spending time with my son and pushing a stroller doesn't make me less of a man.
According to fitness expert Jack, the biggest issue for men is not having a purpose in life. That, in turn, affects all areas of a person's life. " I believe the core of being a good man is in true purpose. Men without purpose tend to be unhappy, depressed, lost," Jack shared his thoughts with Bored Panda.
"Figure out your purpose by getting clear on your values and what’s most important to you. As far as activities go, I’m always an advocate of pursuing good health as that is our foundation for our mind, energy, and mood."
Jack added that he believes there "absolutely" is "a crisis for confidence among men." In his view, the reasons for this are obvious. "Most men have no reason to be confident. 73% are overweight, 80% are in debt, 50% are divorced. The best thing men can do to overcome this is to commit to the journey of self-development and finding their purpose," he said.
The expert advocates pursuing excellence in health, wealth, and relationships. "When you do this, you provide yourself true reasons to build confidence."
Male eating disorders get zero attention.
Bless Andrew Flintoff for speaking up about his bulimia struggles. We need more and we need it yesterday, too many males have been lost to this and it really sucks. You can't find help for your friend because he's male and it's so stupid. This was in the mid-2000s but it's no better today. Everyone can have eating disorders its not just women, and we all deserve support for it
Getting very few/no compliments from my SO. I want to be told nice things about myself too.
I think this depends a lot on the person you are with. Most women I know like giving compliments to ppl they love.
The thread links to the broader discussion of what guys and ‘real men’ should and shouldn’t do, what behaviors are frowned upon by society, and understanding of masculinity leads to a healthy, happy lifestyle.
A short while ago, I spoke about men’s issues and masculinity with redditor M_RONA who gave some great in-depth insights on the topic.
"I think, as men, we need to be more open about our issues and acknowledge the fact that we face some tough [stuff], often imposed on us by other guys. There’s nothing wrong with being honest about what’s bothering us, and I think just being able to talk about some of the issues we face would be a major contributing factor to our general well-being. Something as simple as just asking our friends how they’re doing in life could go a long way!" he told Bored Panda in an honest and open interview.
Dealing with other men. The number of testosterone poisoned, porcelain figurine fragile ego having bastards seems endless.
The assumption that because I am the father that I don't know, or am incapable of taking care of my kids. People ask my wife all the time if she needs to rush home when she leaves the kids with me. I am not a babysitter, I know what I am doing.
Yeah, this is a big one. I gave my number (as the main contact) to my eldest's school and my youngest's childminder, as I work from home and live 5 mins away from both. But they always call my wife first. She works about 30 mins away from the school and childminder.
Not being able to talk about our emotions. Like hello, hi, I am a human being who would like to talk about their problems without the feeling of being judged.
According to M_RONA, one thing that’s happening in modern times is that the term ‘toxic masculinity’ gets taken way out of context, gets used where it shouldn’t, and sometimes misrepresents reality.
"While I absolutely agree that there are many male traits taken to the extreme that have horrible consequences for the people around them, I think the term is sadly being overused to mislabel normal and perfectly healthy male behavior," he explained.
The interviewee noted that it’s often other men who pressure guys into conforming and acting a certain way. This, in turn, can make it very hard for men to be emotionally vulnerable when they need to be.
This might seem petty or dumb, but right now, my fiancée and I are planning our wedding (She's female, I'm Male, we're a hetero couple).
I'm SUPER into the planning. I'm not at all a typical "macho" "cant be bothered with the frills and pomps" type of dude. I'm having fun helping putting together this day for my best friend and I!
Everytime we meet with a vendor they solely talk to her and ignore me entirely, acting on an assumption that she's a typical "Bridezilla" planning this day single handedly and I'm just some Bro she's shacking up with. When I do pitch in, the vendors almost act in an "ooooook, dont worry big guy, leave this to the adults" kind of way. It's more obvious in some than it is in others, but its damn infuriating. It's extremely frustrating and belittling. My fiancée is aware of it, and sticks up for me when necessary.
Like snap dude, you're damn straight I've got an opinion on the aesthetic of our f@#$ing orchid placement, take me seriously!
I hope you're in a large enough city to find different vendors. If vendors don't respect your opinion, they obviously don't want your money. Take it to someone without the outdated gender norms.
Being physically and mentally abused usually means a lot less to people than if it were a girl who were the victim. If the girl's the abuser and you're the victim almost no one will care at all and will almost always shame you for it. And when you try to defend yourself against a female, you're looked at like the monster
My bro is a copper and one of has "regulars" was a body builder who was being beaten by his mrs. He was over 6' and built like a brick shithouse, she was 5'2" and 7 stone sopping wet. Whenever the cops arrived she'd pretend like she was the one being beaten and it never went any further. One day he just said to my bro "mate, look at me. If I hit her she'd be dead". Bro tried really hard to go for a conviction for her, but the CPS wouldn't touch it.
Not being socially acceptable to carry a purse.
Like yeah, I'd love to always have my earbuds, phone charger, deodorant, small cologne sampler, and be able to store my keys, wallet, and phone without either stabbing my legs with keys when the pants are tight or having my phone slip out when I'm getting out of cars with loose fitting pants. I can think of so many things I'd bring in my man purse...
Most Russian men carry a small purse/ document bag because of all the documents/ masks/ chargers etc you must carry. No one thinks it is odd.
“A lot of guys were talking about how, as a man, they found it extremely difficult to talk and be open about their feelings. I think that stems from this notion that men are supposed to be so hardened and stoic that we never let things get to us, and if we ever experience a negative emotion, we shouldn’t process it, we should just bottle it up and 'be a man.'"
According to M_RONA, having a stoic attitude and a hardened mind are “certainly virtuous values” that help in life. But if these values are taken to the extreme and repress any and all emotions, the end result can be very harmful.
“The basic attitude of 'men should do this, and women should do that' is hampering to both men and women, I think, something both sexes are guilty of doing, unfortunately," M_RONA shared with Bored Panda.
"I think we all face issues of conformity and set expectations for what we’re supposed to do, and I guess it’s up to all of us to promote and cheer on people who don’t fit into certain categories that we make for ourselves.”
Honestly, I think the most annoying thing is the competitiveness of other males. Especially when it comes to women. I’ve been out with gfs and some dude will come up and blatantly start hitting on her. We’d make it apparent that we’re together and then the ridicule starts. “You’re with this guy?” “I bet he really sucks at ____.” “I could be better than him.” That alpha male s**t bugs the hell out of me.
I'm 20, have no facial hair, very little muscle mass (barely started working out this year), almost no stamina, kissless, virgin, got slapped at a party recently (by some drunk dude), and I collect action figures (I'm still working on not being too ashamed of this one).
I feel like a total loser sometimes. Like I'm not a real man. It hurts, but at the same time I don't want to try to put on a fake man mask or anything. I guess I'm just too young to figure these things out.
Muscles don't matter, you get to choose when and who you want to share your affection with, and you don't need anyone to tell you that you are awesome, you are! I've been in the Army for 21 years and I've met the biggest douchebags who were muscular egotists (I used to be one of them), people of a slimmer frame, and heavy set people and society focuses on physical attributes over what's most important; your character and how you treat people. As for collectables, I'm 41 and still like them. The times of people being looked at as weird for enjoying pop culture are fading. Those who judge people on their own personal hobbies do not know what they are missing. One of the things that took me almost 20 years to realize is that you have to love yourself first and appreciate the things you love without caring what others think. Do not try to be something you are not just to fit in societie's mold of what you think a man should be. Look for people with common interests and you'll find that there are entire communities of people that love what you love. If you want to get in shape, that's great for health but don't let those attributes define you. Best of luck!
Walking into a public restroom and getting your shoes stuck to the ground because of all the dried piss on the floor.
Sadly not just a man only thing, particularly in restrooms with Turkish toilets
Meanwhile, British psychotherapist Silva Neves told Bored Panda that toxic masculinity is mostly centered around a “general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny” than specific behaviors.
He detailed that at the core of these “distorted ideas” lie things like the notion that men should “always be winners,” shouldn’t feel any vulnerability, and shouldn’t be perceived as weak or soft.
“Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women's rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” the expert said.
“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women.”
Being told that my emotions don't matter. You know what happens when people bottle up their emotions? They either kill themselves or end up on the 6:00 news.
The stigma that every time I talk to a woman I don't know I automatically want to date them. Like f**k maybe I like talking to women because men don't open up about feelings and women actually listen just lookin for a friend man.
It is a "stigma" because it is more or less a rule. All women have had male friends they thought were their friend that turned out to just want to get in their pants. The term "Friend zoned" exist cause of all those men who pretend to be your friend.
Less annoying and more upsetting but: The lack of mental health outreach for men.
i saw and heard some woman in the news just says stuff like: to hell with mens, we are more important, it's our turn. this is just some shitty way to think. it wasn't ok to threat woman like that before but it's not ok to take revenge at those who wasn't even there when all that happen
Shopping for clothes. I've noticed in every clothing store, we have this small corner in the back of the store for our clothes then the rest of the store is 95% female clothing.
In my country we do have separate floors or separate rooms for men, women and kids sections
the point is that stores have 3 times the amount of women's clothes compare to mens clothes, not how they are divided...all the colors and endless stiles, while mens are a few choices in a couple of stiles and colors
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And most the men's clothes are grey, dark green, navy blue, or black. So dull!
it depends I think on the country and the store. I've only got random weird colours, no blue. sample. https://www.yde.co.za/men
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Level -1, 0, 1, 2 and 3: Women clothes Level 4: men, kids, elders, spaceships etc.
Where do you live? Most countries I've visited have separate boutiques or half the store for men's clothing. And most of my students now do all their shopping online.
It's so bizarre. Have you seen the amount of space devoted to bras? Just a piece of underwear to help with comfort. The astonishing range of bras just shows how fetishised breasts are. Compare it to how much space is devoted to men's trousers, actual outwear that other people can see.
That's because in general, us men only buy clothes when we need them and will repeatedly wear them, therefore, there is not so much of a demand.
on the other hand, it costs at least double of what womens close does. I guess they assume the same budget for both sexes and wants to squeze out every cent they can.
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From a woman's perspective - mens clothes are usually higher quality and look better, where as those masses of womens clothes are usually garbage. I prefer to shop at guys section most of the time unless I need something "feminine".
Or that the men's clothes always seem to be black/brown/blue/grey. I want COLOURS, dammit!
womens clothes are 95% pink. I usually buy boys clothes as they are smaller size than mens and with normal colors and patterns on them. smae for trainers. I dont want glittery pinky trainers...
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Probably depends where you live. In my country, the statement would be true in the rural area. But the closest big town, 35 min drive away, has even stores "for men only". And the closest large city (1h away) is totally 50/50 when it comes to shopping for either male or female. All colors and all sizes for everyone
Women are expected to look different and updated every single time. As Barak OBAMA said he wore same suit to every event for his presidency duration and no one noticed.
It's true that women are expected to wear something fresh all the time. However, I think the reason no one noticed that Barack never changed his suit is because it was bland. That's one of the problems with men's clothes - they're rarely colourful or showy.
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Now what would be really nice is if we could have two sections that overlap, both with decent clothes that actually have enough fabric to cover everything without being hideous. Oh, and pockets in everything. Or is that too much to ask?
Not to get all political on this one but it's partly men's fault. You get this toxic masculinity cr@p if you deviate from lumbers3xual style in most western countries. In short, blue jeans, chequered shirt or tee-shirt, "sneakers". Anything else you're deemed LGBTQ or similar, or get called funny things. Really. Fortunately, it depends on the social group. My own social group DON'T do this but outside of it, it's common. Here's an example of the horror. The image makes a joke on a local surname compared to italian brands. visagie-61...ad0c20.jpg 
Yeah, this one is 100% spot on. Plus, stores don't get that men like to buy clothes, shoes, jackets, etc, for now. We aren't thinking about buying spring clothes in January. If we're looking for pants, we want pants for the now weather.
exactly, this sounds like an english-speaking world problem
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It's not that way in canada. Here in Canada usually one side is female the other side's male.
I see a lot of rubbish female clothing but the men's sections are always the best
Perhaps there are smaller men's sections in stores because women buy so many more items of clothing, shoes, handbags, etc. than men?
95% of the womens clothes are pink as if there were no other colors. maks me sick to just enter the shop
I honestly wish the womens' section was smaller. way less judgement for your clothing if you are able to just default to a hoodie and jeans.
Yeah because stupid ass females just have to have 6000 pairs of clothes smh
Not quite, plus size women's clothes ( and that's a large percentage) get another corner.
Not where I live. Mens sections are just as big as womens'. Several larger stores have entire floors for each. And of course several women-only stores, but also men-only stores that are almost 50/50 (maybe a few more womens stores because lingeriestores and pantyhose stores mostly for women exist, but then men have their barbershops so that's totally fair)
In the town I grew up in, in the UK, it used to be that men and women had their own clothing stores that catered exclusively to them. It was basically an even number of each. Then one day someone complained that women should be catered for in the men-only stores as well as their own women-only stores and almost overnight men-only stores were banned. Having nowhere else to go, most - being small family owned establishments rather than giant chains - simply went bankrupt. As a result mens clothing got forced into the back corner of the once women-only stores. Then came the giant chains only they did the same thing, two floors of womens clothing with the basement level shared 80% kids to 20% mens clothing and that's how it's been ever since.
"almost overnight men-only stores were banned" where/when/what? I have so many questions. There are still men only stores in my town. Two of them vs 6 women only stores, but still, no sign of a ban.
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But it's easier to shop. Bottom half clothes have exact measurements for waist and leg. Top half are pretty much standardised, I'm an extra large in every store.
I find this while trying to shop for my son's clothing. It's really frustrating. At the same time, those superhero branded clothes are all targeted at boys (one of the reasons my daughter likes to look in the boys clothing section). I'm mean, seriously, even Jurassic Park/Word came out with girly clothing (yes, I know that girls don't have to wear girly clothing, she just happens to like glitter and dresses).
South Africa here. Agree with lack of adequate clothing choices for men.
Being a thin and short man is even worse. Very hard to find fancy clothes that are not twice your size, unless you turn to ridiculous stuff for kids because at least it just fits you.
Being skinny and tall can be trickty too. Should you choose the pants that fit at the waist or those with long enough legs to reach the shoes and hide your hairy ankles? I know I sound like a spoiled crybaby now, but I guess anything outside of what is considered the perfect pumped guy (or average, can be tricky, as it won't hang well on their models.
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In my country men's clothing is much much better quality than women's (which is usually uncomfortable trash) and costs less.
We should have clothes sections divided by type (sweaters, jeans...) and not sex. Some people argue that "we are different sizes" but thats why we have clothes sizes as well. They should also make them in 2 combinations like lenght and hips for the trousers. Its stupid to separate for sexes in 2021, specially in the kids section since they are exactly the same.
It really depends on what kind of items we are discussing. Yes for baggy T's or hoodies the gender of the wearer does not rally matter. But a fitted suit jacket cannot be worn by the "wrong" gender, as men and women basically have different shapes. A woman's jacket needs more space in the chest region, and room for broader hips. Put her in a man's jacket and it would eiher have to be really baggy, or she would look squezed out of shape really putting some stain on those bottoms in the middle. I know there exist some very "flat" women without the stereotypical female features, but for the majority of women unisex fitted clothes won't work.
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yeah but i as a man can match almost everything, my babe cannot match anyting need, i need to buy her 10 more items compared to me....first world problems here....
You're expected to just deal with a lot of things that girls would get help with.
i agree like if your car breaks down and you call for roadside assistance lone women are given priority like as a guy were supposed to just wait and fend off attackers for hours
Everything in your life is a competition. Every. F***ing. Thing.
All the societal pressure that on you to initiate, fix, pay, provide etc.
Yeah, I hate that men's success is measured by their wealth. Fortunately, my wife and I work the same number of hours, and she actually earns more than me.
Being judged almost exclusively on one's financial stability, in an economy that makes financial stability very difficult to achieve.
I earn enough to pay the bills and look after my kids, with a little left over to add to our savings pot. This should feel like enough, but it doesn't. I feel like I should own a chalet in the Swiss Alps in order to be considered financially successful.
The male stereotypes. Sometimes a guy needs to cry and just let stuff out. Or being strong and doing physical work isn't his thing.
Always being expected to make the first move towards the woman.
for once i would like a woman that likes me to do that myself personally i am scared to make the first move in case i have mis read the signs like i think they are in to me but are just being friendly
Living in fear of being labeled as a "creep" or "pervert" for trying to talk to a girl
Used to be getting random b*ners at inappropriate times. Now, it's not being able to get a b*ner at appropriate times.
We can all relate to this one. If only we had control of our penises!
Being the person to go check out the noise that just happened in a creepy place, to promptly be brutally murdered by some evil demon spirit
I used to work as a security guard supervisor. I had many many men tell me they needed a different job site because the one they were at (usually a new development site) was freaking them out. I never ever berated them, I would talk it out, see how impacted they were and would often pull them off the site for another less creepy site. It’s okay to feel fear, it’s okay to not want to be afraid, it’s okay to feel fear and challenge it and it’s okay to feel fear and invest in a dog to have your back
Probably the fact that we're expected to have the courage to approach women at bars or wherever else, which wouldn't be so intimidating if the perception of said flirting didn't depend entirely on how attractive they happen to find us. We're told "the worst thing she can do is say no" but it feels pretty s**tty when she and her friends straight up laugh as you walk away, or even worse, to your face. As someone fairly middle of the road in terms of looks, it's like "Oh boy, am I gonna have a fun conversation or are she and her friends gonna laugh at me, let's roll those dice!!!" Most of the women I talk to who decide they're not interested are polite about it and I appreciate those people, but some are just mean, and most of us guys aren't quite as emotionless as we're supposed to be. That stuff is a big feels bad.
also approaching a woman and being seen as a creep because they don't find you attractive
Baldness. Some can make it work for them, but most can't.
Trying to shave those damn hairs on your Adam’s apple without slicing your throat open
Note: this post originally had 61 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
And this is why feminism is so important for everyone. Most men that I met complain about this issues but they are not aware that they come from sexism and that the solution is feminism, not misoginy. Men, we believe you and want to help you but you need to step up! I know that there are many feminist men but sadly they are still in the minority.
Its also important to notice that most of this issues are about peopel judging you, not legal or physical limitations. Everyone needs to learn to be themselves and not give in the stupid and harmful gender roles. Is society that has the problem and needs to change, not you. There is not a proper way to be a man. You are a man if you cry. You are a man with long hair. You are a man if you like flowers. You are a man if your girlfriend earns more than you...
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Can we normalize being like Tolkien’s men? They were brave, kind, and loyal. They cried and showed emotion. They were never disrespectful to women or each other.
Right? The books are quite sexist when it comes to women (but its a product of the time so its understandable). But it showed an amazing example of positive masculinity for men and boys.
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This is another reason why we all need to work together to dismantle gender norms. They hurt everyone.
Gender norms are exactly that, normal. Nothing wrong with normal, last I new it was normal.
Load More Replies... We need more of these posts. I'd like to add one myself, though I'm not a man, that a friend once complained about. If you are a man and have a female as a best friend you are either thought to be dating, cheating (if you're in a relationship) or gay. It's absolute BS.
I agree. I always had very close male friends and its insane how many people doesnt believe in men and women being friends. Most of my partners friends are women and i love them, why would i have a problem with that?
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One great step would be to stop categorizing between men and women and just putting people being HUMAN before anything else. Creates way less problems, tension and stress in social interactions. Could be the misanthrope in me speaking, but i avoided a lot of problems in life doing it that way
Yes and no. It is important tot alk about our isses separately because they are different. But for the rest of the time I agree, our society should be more gebder neutral. Like why the f**k is my sex on my ID? It's nobodies bussiness (except my partner and doctors)
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Addition: People in online forums assuming you're a privileged, racist, misogynist simply because you're a white male. Nah...you don't even know me. And if you did you'd know that I'm gay, have worked my entire life to be where I am, and am married to an immigrant. Take your toxic assumptions elsewhere.
But you are privileged if you are a white male (in white dominant countries at least). That's a simple fact. You just need to stop thinking that "privileged" is a dirty word, or that it means that you have an "easy life". Your life could be full of challenges, it just happens that the color of your skin isn't one of those challenges.
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The world has not become "Gender Neutral" as long as people with different genders get treated differently or have different expectations placed on them because of their gender.
We should really strive for a gender neutral society
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Sorry guys, but if you are hurting inside, go ahead & spend the bucks to go see a psychologist or counselor. If you can't do this, go for a talk with your pastor or priest, it's part of their job. If you try to talk to just about anyone else, they will look down on you for it. And most of them will eventually gossip on you. A licensed psychologist is prohibited from doing this by law. If he breaks that rule, he can lose his license. If you have severe depression, go see a psychiatrist (but discretely). He can prescribe meds that will help. Don't just suffer quietly being a strong, silent, "Marlboro Man" type. It's not worth it. And there are really good new medicines out there that really will help. It's a manly thing to deal with this in a positive manner. It is not unmanly.
Let's speak the truth: No matter how awesome a person may be, you just need to slap the "ugh, this person is gaaaay" argument onto them to invalidate them. Honestly, the world would be so much better if everyone just let everyone be without that gender stereotype bullshit.
sad to say, there are a lot of judgmental hypocrites out there that love to go around making this accusation & gossip. I know someone at work who was labeled as GAY because he drank hot green tea for the afternoon break instead of a soft drink. This guy was a health food enthusiast. He explained that green tea has all sorts of benefits over carbonated flavored syrup water, but the critics were not convinced. This labeling act is a control thing rather than concern over who they bed down with. They label people to gain control over them. It is also a form of compensating.
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Honestly curious: what percentage of guys believe women when they say they are handsome? I never have and don't think i ever will. Curious if this is just my glitch or of it's a societal idea. And don't say "Jason Momoa is looooovely, so obviously guys can be lovely." Yes, he is totally lovely and i'd love to kiss his belly, but i'm talking about general guys, not demigods :)
I don't. I look in the mirror and know I am 'passable' but when a woman compliments me, I always feel that it comes from wishing to avoid hurting my feelings, rather than being true. I know that -in general- women are talking more about the person as a whole than just physical, but it still comes across as disingenuous.
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The issues the men are talking about here are all results of centuries of patriarchy that kept women subordinate to men. Now men are at the point of suffering from this oppressive system. In order to change the status quo, men are going to have to go through the same mockery, judgment, opposition and obstacles that women have had to go through in order to free themselves. Most of the problems are wanting to feel/behave/be seen a certain way (rather than impingements on actual freedom). The answer every time is to be who you want to be, speak out about the things you care about, and accept that sometimes people are not going to accept your choices. But if they are important, you do them anyway and you speak out, regardless of how other people react.
On public forums like this, or on social media, I see many women who are very supportive of men showing emotions. But in my real life, face to face, with people I know, I've NEVER met a woman who actually wanted to know that I wasn't 100% feeling happy and okay. and any time I've ever shared my feelings, I've never known any woman who felt anything but contempt and a loss of respect for me because I confessed to a moment of weakness, and that includes very close friends and relatives. Women don't want sensitive men who are in touch with their feelings. It's just something they say. They don't want men who feel down, or feel weak, or cry. So it's really no wonder a lot of men get shamed into limiting their emotions.
Then you really did not met thw right kind of women. All my female friends and I want men to be open about their feelings.
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My biggest issue is ingratitude. A lot of women just assume that men pay for everything etc or take care of ‘man stuff’. Its very rare that I've seen women say thank you. I’ve been married for over 20 years and can’t remember the last time my wife said even a thanks or an acknowledgment of my effort. My friends have the same issue. I’m a doctor and my female partners and nurses take each other for granted as well. And yes I pay all the bills. And yes I’m the primary caregiver to our kids in addition to working to primarily support the family. I was taught to say please and thank you from a young age. I feel that a lot of women just take our efforts for granted.
Unfair divorces where men are left destitute and the woman gets everything.
This has got to change. If I were a guy, I'd be kind of scared to get married and have kids. I was shocked by the inequities my hubby had to endure when dealing with the financial and childcare shenanigans his ex pulled.
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Holy mackerel - where do you live?? The women have to wait until marriage to have sex, the men can't say they feel unhappy without a non-disclosure agreement, and a man has to ask permission from his wife to see male friends because she thinks she married a closeted gay man and she can make him straight. Dude, make contacts outside that culture. Outside support will come in handy if you decide to leave and get shunned by your community.
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"I saw a thing happen one time, so that means it's happening everywhere all the time!"
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That sucks and would probably be a relationship breaker? Imagine having no opinion on having a vasectomy though...
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Maybe consider yourself lucky then? Just because you haven't experienced this doesn't make other people liars
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I dunno man, if women are never satisfied with you, what's the common denominator in those situations?
Load More Replies... And this is why feminism is so important for everyone. Most men that I met complain about this issues but they are not aware that they come from sexism and that the solution is feminism, not misoginy. Men, we believe you and want to help you but you need to step up! I know that there are many feminist men but sadly they are still in the minority.
Its also important to notice that most of this issues are about peopel judging you, not legal or physical limitations. Everyone needs to learn to be themselves and not give in the stupid and harmful gender roles. Is society that has the problem and needs to change, not you. There is not a proper way to be a man. You are a man if you cry. You are a man with long hair. You are a man if you like flowers. You are a man if your girlfriend earns more than you...
Load More Replies... Can we normalize being like Tolkien’s men? They were brave, kind, and loyal. They cried and showed emotion. They were never disrespectful to women or each other.
Right? The books are quite sexist when it comes to women (but its a product of the time so its understandable). But it showed an amazing example of positive masculinity for men and boys.
Load More Replies... This is another reason why we all need to work together to dismantle gender norms. They hurt everyone.
Gender norms are exactly that, normal. Nothing wrong with normal, last I new it was normal.
Load More Replies... We need more of these posts. I'd like to add one myself, though I'm not a man, that a friend once complained about. If you are a man and have a female as a best friend you are either thought to be dating, cheating (if you're in a relationship) or gay. It's absolute BS.
I agree. I always had very close male friends and its insane how many people doesnt believe in men and women being friends. Most of my partners friends are women and i love them, why would i have a problem with that?
Load More Replies... One great step would be to stop categorizing between men and women and just putting people being HUMAN before anything else. Creates way less problems, tension and stress in social interactions. Could be the misanthrope in me speaking, but i avoided a lot of problems in life doing it that way
Yes and no. It is important tot alk about our isses separately because they are different. But for the rest of the time I agree, our society should be more gebder neutral. Like why the f**k is my sex on my ID? It's nobodies bussiness (except my partner and doctors)
Load More Replies... Addition: People in online forums assuming you're a privileged, racist, misogynist simply because you're a white male. Nah...you don't even know me. And if you did you'd know that I'm gay, have worked my entire life to be where I am, and am married to an immigrant. Take your toxic assumptions elsewhere.
But you are privileged if you are a white male (in white dominant countries at least). That's a simple fact. You just need to stop thinking that "privileged" is a dirty word, or that it means that you have an "easy life". Your life could be full of challenges, it just happens that the color of your skin isn't one of those challenges.
Load More Replies... The world has not become "Gender Neutral" as long as people with different genders get treated differently or have different expectations placed on them because of their gender.
We should really strive for a gender neutral society
Load More Replies... Sorry guys, but if you are hurting inside, go ahead & spend the bucks to go see a psychologist or counselor. If you can't do this, go for a talk with your pastor or priest, it's part of their job. If you try to talk to just about anyone else, they will look down on you for it. And most of them will eventually gossip on you. A licensed psychologist is prohibited from doing this by law. If he breaks that rule, he can lose his license. If you have severe depression, go see a psychiatrist (but discretely). He can prescribe meds that will help. Don't just suffer quietly being a strong, silent, "Marlboro Man" type. It's not worth it. And there are really good new medicines out there that really will help. It's a manly thing to deal with this in a positive manner. It is not unmanly.
Let's speak the truth: No matter how awesome a person may be, you just need to slap the "ugh, this person is gaaaay" argument onto them to invalidate them. Honestly, the world would be so much better if everyone just let everyone be without that gender stereotype bullshit.
sad to say, there are a lot of judgmental hypocrites out there that love to go around making this accusation & gossip. I know someone at work who was labeled as GAY because he drank hot green tea for the afternoon break instead of a soft drink. This guy was a health food enthusiast. He explained that green tea has all sorts of benefits over carbonated flavored syrup water, but the critics were not convinced. This labeling act is a control thing rather than concern over who they bed down with. They label people to gain control over them. It is also a form of compensating.
Load More Replies... Honestly curious: what percentage of guys believe women when they say they are handsome? I never have and don't think i ever will. Curious if this is just my glitch or of it's a societal idea. And don't say "Jason Momoa is looooovely, so obviously guys can be lovely." Yes, he is totally lovely and i'd love to kiss his belly, but i'm talking about general guys, not demigods :)
I don't. I look in the mirror and know I am 'passable' but when a woman compliments me, I always feel that it comes from wishing to avoid hurting my feelings, rather than being true. I know that -in general- women are talking more about the person as a whole than just physical, but it still comes across as disingenuous.
Load More Replies... The issues the men are talking about here are all results of centuries of patriarchy that kept women subordinate to men. Now men are at the point of suffering from this oppressive system. In order to change the status quo, men are going to have to go through the same mockery, judgment, opposition and obstacles that women have had to go through in order to free themselves. Most of the problems are wanting to feel/behave/be seen a certain way (rather than impingements on actual freedom). The answer every time is to be who you want to be, speak out about the things you care about, and accept that sometimes people are not going to accept your choices. But if they are important, you do them anyway and you speak out, regardless of how other people react.
On public forums like this, or on social media, I see many women who are very supportive of men showing emotions. But in my real life, face to face, with people I know, I've NEVER met a woman who actually wanted to know that I wasn't 100% feeling happy and okay. and any time I've ever shared my feelings, I've never known any woman who felt anything but contempt and a loss of respect for me because I confessed to a moment of weakness, and that includes very close friends and relatives. Women don't want sensitive men who are in touch with their feelings. It's just something they say. They don't want men who feel down, or feel weak, or cry. So it's really no wonder a lot of men get shamed into limiting their emotions.
Then you really did not met thw right kind of women. All my female friends and I want men to be open about their feelings.
Load More Replies... My biggest issue is ingratitude. A lot of women just assume that men pay for everything etc or take care of ‘man stuff’. Its very rare that I've seen women say thank you. I’ve been married for over 20 years and can’t remember the last time my wife said even a thanks or an acknowledgment of my effort. My friends have the same issue. I’m a doctor and my female partners and nurses take each other for granted as well. And yes I pay all the bills. And yes I’m the primary caregiver to our kids in addition to working to primarily support the family. I was taught to say please and thank you from a young age. I feel that a lot of women just take our efforts for granted.
Unfair divorces where men are left destitute and the woman gets everything.
This has got to change. If I were a guy, I'd be kind of scared to get married and have kids. I was shocked by the inequities my hubby had to endure when dealing with the financial and childcare shenanigans his ex pulled.
Load More Replies... Holy mackerel - where do you live?? The women have to wait until marriage to have sex, the men can't say they feel unhappy without a non-disclosure agreement, and a man has to ask permission from his wife to see male friends because she thinks she married a closeted gay man and she can make him straight. Dude, make contacts outside that culture. Outside support will come in handy if you decide to leave and get shunned by your community.
Load More Replies... "I saw a thing happen one time, so that means it's happening everywhere all the time!"
Load More Replies... That sucks and would probably be a relationship breaker? Imagine having no opinion on having a vasectomy though...
Load More Replies... Maybe consider yourself lucky then? Just because you haven't experienced this doesn't make other people liars
Load More Replies... I dunno man, if women are never satisfied with you, what's the common denominator in those situations?
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