“Am I A Jerk For ‘Mansplaining’ My Daughters Health To My Ex-Wife”

It’s no secret that our society is very much concerned about appearances. That’s how the debates about phenomena like “pretty privilege” or “fat-shaming” tend to come up.

Today’s story is no exception. In it, you will read about an 18-year-old woman who constantly gets criticized by her mom about her body, as it doesn’t fit the typical standard of “beautiful.” Things go especially rogue when the mom decides to fix this daughter’s “flaw.” 

More info: Reddit

No matter how much we try to nip discussions about others’ appearances in the bud, people just can’t stop bringing them up

Young woman flexing arm muscle confidently in gym, depicting strength despite fat phobic mom's criticism over weight gain

Image credits: teksomolika / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Just like this mom, who just can’t stop herself from fat-shaming her daughter

Screenshot of a Reddit post titled mansplaining about daughter's health to ex-wife amid fat phobic mom conflict.

Text excerpt about an 18-year-old described as heavy with muscle, discussing fat phobic mom and dad’s mansplaining defense.

Text excerpt about a fat phobic mom criticizing weight gain and a dad defending her, highlighting fat phobia issues.

Text discussing a daughter gaining 10 pounds under lockdown while maintaining muscle mass and facing exercise challenges.

Man and woman arguing passionately on couch in a modern living room, illustrating fat phobic mom conflict and mansplaining defense.

Image credits: TriangleProd / Freepik (not the actual photo)

And it’s not like her daughter is unhealthily obese or anything – she’s just more muscular than slim

Text discussing a workout routine and pandemic impact, addressing fat phobic mom and weight gain concerns.

Screenshot of text describing a fat phobic mom calling her daughter a whale after gaining weight, with dad defending her mansplaining.

Text about fat phobic mom sending diet plan and criticizing daughter’s weight, with discussion on mansplaining defense.

Text excerpt criticizing a fat phobic mom calling her 18-year-old daughter a whale after gaining weight.

Young woman in white sports bra and red cap flexing muscles confidently on outdoor running track.

Image credits: nastyaofly / Freepik (not the actual photo)

So, one day, the mom decided to pressure her ex to make their daughter go on a diet, because she “looked like a whale”

Text excerpt criticizing a diet, highlighting fat phobic mom and dad mansplaining in a family weight gain dispute.

Text excerpt from fat phobic mom’s message about diet and exercise, reflecting fat phobic mom and weight gain themes.

Text excerpt discussing a fat phobic mom calling her 18-year-old a whale and dad defending her against mansplaining claims.

Text discussing mansplaining and defending against accusations of fat phobia in a family argument about weight gain.

Image credits: Sad-Drawer-6864

Yet, the dad, being a professional in this area, understood how dangerous the suggested diet was and refused to do anything like that

The OP’s daughter has always been pretty heavy, but not in an unhealthy way, rather in a muscular one. You see, she lifts weights, plays rugby, and runs every week. And since her dad is a personal trainer, he thinks her regimen and body status are pretty healthy.

Yet, his ex-wife and her husband view this situation pretty differently – in their eyes, the young woman needs to lose weight and slim down. The original poster is convinced their view simply comes from fat-phobia. And it’s not like he made this fact up – the nasty comments the couple made about his girlfriend prove it. 

One day, the dad received a long email from his ex accusing him of being a negligent parent for allowing his daughter to gain weight and saying that now she’s “turning into a whale.” So, basically, her requirement was that he needed to tell her to lose weight with her picked-out diet plan. But the dad refused to do so – he simply didn’t want to put his kid under the pressure of dieting. 

Not to mention the fact that the diet was insubstantial for someone who works out as she does. In fact, the diet plan was so bad that he knew that if he ever suggested that to any of his clients, he would get fired in a second. 

Well, he didn’t specify what kind of diet his ex suggested, but from the context, we can guess that it was along the lines of the restrictive ones. Technically, all diets include some kind of restriction, but while some do in a way that makes sense and doesn’t hurt anyone’s health, others are just way too strict with it to the point of being harmful. 

Woman expressing frustration to man on couch in living room, depicting fat phobic mom and dad’s mansplaining defense debate.

Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)

For example, let’s take a juice diet – consuming only the juices of fresh fruit and vegetables for several days in a row. This diet is not nutritionally balanced, meaning that it lacks the energy that the body requires from carbohydrates, protein, essential fats, and minerals. Going on this diet regularly puts a person at risk for anemia and bone issues, not to mention things like stomach issues, fatigue, headaches, and so on. 

Similar things apply to single-food-item diets, extreme sugar-free diets, and others that, if taken too far, can cause more troubles than benefits to one’s body. After all, eating a balanced diet is way healthier than any other alternative. 

No matter if a person is more sedentary or heavily working out, like the OP’s daughter, it’s important to eat a wide variety of foods in the right proportions. These depend on each person’s lifestyle.

Here, those who work out should strive to include lean protein for muscle repair, complex carbs for energy, healthy fats for fuel, and lots of water for hydration. But we don’t have to tell that to the original author – as a personal trainer, he already knows it. 

And still, his ex doesn’t trust his expertise when it comes to this. When he refused to put the daughter on a diet, she went on about how he tries to be “the fun parent,” how he was mansplaining, and stuff like that. 

Netizens wrote off her reaction as lashing out and deemed the dad right in this situation. What is your stance? Please, share in the comments!

Netizens praised the dad for standing his ground and not giving in to his ex’s manipulations

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a fat phobic mom calling her 18-year-old daughter a whale for gaining weight.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing mansplaining in a debate about a fat phobic mom calling her 18-year-old child a whale.

Screenshot of an online comment defending an 18-year-old against a fat phobic mom's mansplaining insult about weight gain.

Comment on mansplaining debate, discussing fat phobic mom calling 18-year-old a whale after weight gain.

Comment discussing fat phobic mom calling 18YO a whale and dad's mansplaining defending her views online.

Screenshot of an online forum discussing fat phobic mom and parental weight pressure affecting body image issues.

Comment discussing an adult daughter’s weight gain and family conflict involving fat phobic mom and dad’s mansplaining defense.

Comment on Reddit praising someone for defending their daughter against fat phobic mom calling her a whale.

Comment defending daughter against fat phobic mom and mansplaining dad in online discussion about weight gain.

Screenshot of an online comment debating fat phobia and obesity, discussing health risks and enabling behavior.

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