“Knees, Groveling And Begging For Forgiveness”: Family Shocked As Discarded Son Doesn’t Want Back In

When you realize that a friend or romantic partner is toxic, ending that relationship should be a no-brainer. But it’s a bit more complicated when it comes to family members, as they’re expected to be in our lives permanently, no matter what.

One man, however, has been estranged from his parents and siblings for the past five years. And over time, he realized that was probably for the best. But now, he’s reaching out to the internet for advice because his mother has suddenly decided that it’s time for him to reunite with the family. Below, you’ll find the full story that he shared on Reddit, as well as some of the responses invested readers left him. 

It’s never easy to become estranged from your family members

Young man sitting on sofa looking upset, reflecting on family forgiveness and conflicted feelings about their tone.

Image credits: Stockbusters (not the actual image)

But over time, this man realized that being away from his family was actually for the best

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Alt text: Family struggles with forgiving man who beat his brother five years ago, tension over their tone remains.

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Man reflects on personal growth and family forgiveness after beating his brother five years ago.

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Text excerpt about a family deciding to forgive a man for beating his brother five years ago.

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Text excerpt discussing forgiveness and re-establishing family contact after a past conflict from five years ago.

Image credits: ThrowRA271215

Readers assured the author that he was allowed to enforce boundaries with his family, and he joined in on the conversation

Reddit comments discussing family forgiveness and rebuilding relationships after a man beat his brother five years ago.

Reddit discussion about family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother five years ago, revealing tension in tone.

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Reddit conversation discussing family dynamics and forgiveness after a man beat his brother five years ago.

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Online conversation discussing family forgiving man for beating his brother, highlighting tone and personal boundaries in reconciliation.

Reddit comments discussing family forgiveness and personal decisions after a man beat his brother five years ago.

Family discusses forgiveness after man beat his brother five years ago, highlighting tension over their tone and reactions.

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Reddit user discusses family forgiving man for beating brother 5 years ago but disliking their entitled tone.

Reddit comment discussing family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother five years ago and his reaction to their tone.

Alt text: Family decides to forgive man for beating his brother 5 years ago but he dislikes their tone and boundaries advice.

Reddit user discusses family forgiving man for beating his brother, expressing discomfort with their condescending tone.

Reddit comments discussing family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother five years ago and his reaction to their tone.

Forum discussion about family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother five years ago and his reaction to their tone.

Discussion about family deciding to forgive a man for beating his brother five years ago and his reaction to their tone.

Reddit users discuss a family deciding to forgive a man for beating his brother five years ago and their reaction to the tone.

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Online discussion about family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother five years ago and tensions in their tone.

Family decides to forgive man for beating his brother, but he dislikes their tone and struggles with reconciliation.

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Then, the author shared an update on what had happened since his family reached out

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Text message apology from man to brother discussing forgiveness and family tone after beating incident in 2015.

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Image credits: Colton Sturgeon (not the actual image)

Text excerpt about a family deciding to forgive a man after 5 years, despite tension over their tone.

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Text excerpt discussing a family’s decision to forgive a man for beating his brother five years ago and their tone in the matter.

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Text excerpt discussing reasons for avoiding face-to-face contact with family amid forgiveness challenges.

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Older woman using smartphone, reflecting on family forgiveness and complex emotions over past conflict.

Image credits: Drazen Zigic (notthe actual image)

Text excerpt discussing family forgiving a man for past a***e while addressing cutting contact to protect their son.

Text from a person reflecting on past family conflict after being forgiven for beating his brother five years ago.

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Text expressing gratitude for support and advice while discussing family estrangement and rebuilding relationships.

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38% of adults in the United States are estranged from at least one family member

If you’re close with your family, you might not be able to imagine going five weeks, let alone five years, without talking to them. But the truth is, not everyone is lucky enough to have siblings that they are best friends with or parents that love and respect them. Sometimes, the healthiest decision a person can make is to simply cut ties and protect their own mental health.

According to a 2025 YouGov survey, 38% of adults in the United States are currently estranged from a sibling, parent, child, grandparent, and/or grandchild. Over half the time, one person in the relationship made that choice, while 19% of the time, the decision was mutual. Meanwhile, 5% of the time, someone else cut off the relationship, and 18% of the time, both parties simply grew apart.

When it comes to parent-child relationships that become estranged, the kids are nearly twice as likely to say that it was their choice to cut off their parents than the other way around. The same is true for grandchild-grandparent relationships.

But just because family members become estranged at some point doesn’t mean that their relationship is doomed forever. 70% of children say that they would be willing to reconcile with their estranged family members, while 66% of grandchildren say the same. 

45% of siblings, 35% of parents, and 40% of grandparents would also like to rebuild relationships with estranged relatives. To do so, however, the issue that caused the estrangement in the first place would need to be resolved. 

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

Repairing relationships after estrangement takes effort from both sides

YouGov reports that some of the most commonly cited reasons for family estrangements include personality conflicts, lies or betrayal, manipulative behavior, conflicts with other family members, conflicting values or lifestyles, growing apart, mental illness, money or property disputes, substance use issues, and political or religious disagreements.  

Deciding whether or not to reunite can be tricky, especially if you’re unsure of where your family currently stands. You may not want to open old wounds or give your relatives the opportunity to hurt you again. Wondermind notes that it’s important to first determine if they truly understand your experience and their part in it.

If they have apologized and acknowledged your feelings and appear to be coming from a genuine place, it might be worth giving them a second chance. It’s also crucial that their words and actions line up. Make sure that they’re not just saying what you want to hear. After all, actions speak louder than words.

At the same time, you have to accept the limitations of your estranged relatives and have reasonable expectations for them. You cannot expect them to transform into completely different people, so you have to find healthy ways to react to their behavior.

If you know that they’ll make some comments that bother you, you may need to prepare yourself for how you’ll respond. Repairing the relationship will not be easy, but if both parties are willing to put in the work, it can be worth it. 

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

Again, readers shared supportive messages, and the author shared even more details about his situation

Reddit conversation about family forgiveness and personal boundaries after an incident five years ago.

Online discussion about family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother but facing tone issues and strained relationships.

Screenshot of an online discussion about family deciding to forgive a man for beating his brother five years ago.

Reddit conversation discussing family dynamics and forgiveness after a man beat his brother five years ago.

Reddit comments discussing a family’s decision to forgive a man for beating his brother and the resulting toxic dynamics.

Screenshot of a forum discussion about family deciding to forgive a man for beating his brother five years ago.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about a family forgiving a man for beating his brother five years ago.

Online comments discussing family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother and his reaction to their tone.

Online comment discussing a family’s toxic dynamics and forgiveness after a past brother beating incident.

Reddit comments discussing family forgiveness and setting boundaries after a man beat his brother five years ago.

Online discussion about family forgiveness and tension after man beat his brother five years ago and their differing reactions.

Reddit conversation discussing family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother years ago and his reaction to their tone.

Comment discussing a family deciding to forgive a man for beating his brother five years ago and the man's feelings about their tone.

Reddit discussion about family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother and his reaction to their tone.

Online discussion about family deciding to forgive a man for beating his brother five years ago but tension remains.

Reddit user discusses family’s decision to forgive man for beating his brother and his reaction to their tone.

Alt text: Online discussion about family forgiving man for beating his brother, with debate on severity and tone of the situation.

Online conversation about family forgiveness and handling conflict involving a brother's past actions and tone disagreements.

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Discussion about family forgiveness and dealing with the impact of past brother beating five years ago.

Family forgiveness for man who beat his brother five years ago causes tension over their tone in discussion.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about family forgiveness and toxic dynamics involving a man from five years ago.

Screenshot of an online discussion about family forgiveness and strained relationships following a past beating incident.

Reddit conversation about family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother five years ago, discussing boundaries.

Online discussion about family deciding to forgive man for beating his brother and his reaction to their tone.

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