Man Considers Quitting Job After Being Called A Creep By Female Coworkers
Interview With Author
When it comes to workplace behavior, it’s often best to err on the side of caution. But one man ended up in hot water when he brought some spare pads, left by his visiting niece, to the work restroom.
Not only did one coworker call him a creep, but HR and management didn’t seem to care to back him up for an innocuous gesture. So he turned to the internet for advice and to see if perhaps he crossed a line. Netizens discussed OP’s actions, its implications, and who was ultimately in the wrong. We also got in touch with This_is_my_phone_tho to learn more.
Some folks are perhaps a bit too sensitive about certain things
Image credits: Bored Panda (not the actual photo)
A man was called a creep for dropping off some spare pads in his company’s restroom
Image credits: Yaroslav Shuraev (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: This_is_my_phone_tho
Image credits: 준섭 윤 (not the actual photo)
OP believed that this was just a bully using his actions against him
Bored Panda got in touch with This_is_my_phone_tho and he was kind enough to share some more thoughts on this event. We wanted to know why, in his opinion, this worker had such a visceral reaction to some free pads. “I think it was bullying. The coworker feigned offense over the pads to cause social harm. As for why, I don’t know. Probably has more to do with her,” he shared with Bored Panda.
The original post he made did go quit viral, so we were also curious how the attention and mostly NTA verdict made him feel. “I think the post got popular because it deals with normalizing feminine hygiene, and I have no issue with that, but this didn’t happen because of misplaced modesty. Please be willing to identify and push back against work place bullies.”
Genderless bathrooms are becoming more common
While the majority of readers ended up supporting OP (their comments can be found below), his story does raise some of the issues that can arise with unisex restrooms. While they can cause some confusion and even become an outlet for malicious behavior (such as OP’s story), most workplace experts suggest that they tend to still benefit the company overall.
The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) has argued that gender-neutral bathrooms bring a multitude of advantages. First and foremost, the cost and logistics, as it’s easier, cheaper, and more efficient to operate one, larger bathroom, than several smaller equivalents.
Additionally, it’s a clear and simple way a company can actually display any claims to inclusivity it might make. Mildred Perez, director of people and culture at Lambda Legal, a New York City-based firm has stated that setting up these sorts of restrooms “sends a clear message that the organization does not just talk about diversity and inclusion; it acts on it. It sends the message that the organization respects and values every person for who they are and what they contribute, not by what sex they were assigned at birth or their gender identity.”
Image credits: Edmond Dantès (not the actual photo)
HR did not do its job after OP made a complaint
However, no amount of organizational posture can really help with the much more human issue of people just being mean and malicious. While it might be, mentally, beneficial for OP to understand that this coworker would have no doubt found something to complain about if she had the chance, he still has to go through all the hostile comments and potential stigma of being called a creep.
Unfortunately, no one seems to be backing OP up in this situation, despite the fact that online support for him was near universal. It’s understandable that some coworkers might not want to take sides or really get involved at all, but management and HR staying out of it is telling. As one comment noted, if they won’t help OP with this, what will they avoid helping with next?
It’s understandable that some female workers might feel uncomfortable discussing the concept of menstruation with a male coworker, it seems that this situation was entirely avoidable. If we take OP’s story at face value, it would appear that the coworker herself asked a room of people about the pads.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
OP’s coworker didn’t need to be as careless and malicious with her words
Her decisions and words from that point on were entirely her own choice. While coworkers can, at times, be creeps, hence the need for HR, this was very clearly not a point in using this sort of language. It’s actively hard to construe OP’s actions as anything other than helpful, particularly as women online seemed to take his side.
Should this coworker still have felt uncomfortable, she perhaps should have communicated this to HR herself. Of course, we don’t exactly know how they would have acted, as OP sees HR as not particularly useful or active. Instead, she decided to simply be cruel, which could, according to OP, see him leave this job. Given the size of the company, that’s a pretty big impact for so few words.
Some readers wanted a bit more info first
Most people thought the coworker was out of her mind
Oh my God, this one long comment comparing putting new and sealed toiletries in a unisex bathroom with sexual assault... 🤕
I know - what in God’s name is that about. It’s not like he was walking behind women on the street saying “Hey, you need a pad”
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I don't use these products anymore (I'm 58), but I keep supplies in my home bathrooms for guests, a few in my car like I use to do, & 1 or 2 in my purse. I can't tell you how many times I've been thanked for having an extra when I'm out in public and someone needs it, or a guest does. What you did was thoughtful, kind and helpful. That woman is the creepy one for even thinking that
I am also post-menopausal. I still have some of these in my cabinets. It didn't occur to me to keep some in my purse, car, etc, in case someone else needs them. You are very thoughtful. Perhaps I will do what you do.
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Oh my God, this one long comment comparing putting new and sealed toiletries in a unisex bathroom with sexual assault... 🤕
I know - what in God’s name is that about. It’s not like he was walking behind women on the street saying “Hey, you need a pad”
Load More Replies... I don't use these products anymore (I'm 58), but I keep supplies in my home bathrooms for guests, a few in my car like I use to do, & 1 or 2 in my purse. I can't tell you how many times I've been thanked for having an extra when I'm out in public and someone needs it, or a guest does. What you did was thoughtful, kind and helpful. That woman is the creepy one for even thinking that
I am also post-menopausal. I still have some of these in my cabinets. It didn't occur to me to keep some in my purse, car, etc, in case someone else needs them. You are very thoughtful. Perhaps I will do what you do.
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