Making a character in a book seem realistic and interesting is no easy task. It’s not down to just your skills as a writer, though. You actually have to know a bit about who you’re writing about. In other words—do your research. Unfortunately, there are some male writers out there who seem to have major problems writing female characters and seem shy about asking their female friends for advice.

That’s where the ‘Men Write Women’ Twitter page comes in. It documents the scariest and most cringe-worthy examples of men writing about women without having any idea about them or their anatomy. Scroll down and read for yourselves, dear Pandas, because some of these examples have to be seen to be believed—that’s how unreal they are. Remember to upvote the best of the worst.

The project was started back in 2019 when Meghan Vondriska launched her version of the ‘Men Writing Women’ Reddit community. Now, the ‘Men Write Women’ Twitter page has 63k followers and there are 666 fans who follow their Instagram page. Very spooky and perfect for Halloween. "Women just want to be written as human. That's it. There isn't some wild scientific equation to writing women, and it isn't difficult. Write them as human, with complex feelings, not as body parts that happen to be put together into a feminine form," Vondriska told Bored Panda.

More info: Twitter | Instagram | MegVondriska.com

#1

This Is The Best One Yet

This Is The Best One Yet

ewillard42 Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
6 months ago

Lord of the Toilet Rings

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#2

We Don’t Get Real Pockets In Pants Because We Have Tiny Purses In Our Vaginas!!! (Stuart Woods, Desperate Measures)

We Don’t Get Real Pockets In Pants Because We Have Tiny Purses In Our Vaginas!!! (Stuart Woods, Desperate Measures)

menwritewomen Report

Vincent Philippart
Community Member
6 months ago

Is that possible? (Don't judge. I don't do vaginas, so they're a bit of mystery to me)

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#3

"3 And A Half Milliboobs Per Handful"

"3 And A Half Milliboobs Per Handful"

Christimay , www.reddit.com Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
6 months ago

hahaha omg. Miliboobs

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"I'm an avid reader, but the straw that broke the camel's back was a novel my boyfriend lent me, where the female character was described by her breasts and the male character was described by his personality. Working in advertising, I tend to be Very Online, and so taking my anger to Twitter seemed like a natural parallel. I was familiar with the Men Writing Women subreddit, but created a Twitter account in order to craft a consistent narrative and to build a community that wasn't hidden behind anonymity," Vondriska revealed what inspired her to create 'Men Write Women.'

Vondriska, from Wisconsin, devours 3 to 5 books each week. (Meanwhile, our piles of started-but-unfinished books keep on growing.)

According to the founder of the 'Men Write Women' Twitter page, a lot of male writers who tend to be thought of as the "founders of the literary canon" are continuous offenders. "John Updike, for instance. But the greatest repeat offender is definitely Stephen King. His portrayal of his female characters is honestly offensive," Vondriska said.

#4

Yes, Men Would Be Amaaazing At Handling Pregnancy - Evolution Really Screwed This One Up. Bonus Points For “No Woman Gets Raped Unless She’s Looking For It.”

Yes, Men Would Be Amaaazing At Handling Pregnancy - Evolution Really Screwed This One Up. Bonus Points For “No Woman Gets Raped Unless She’s Looking For It.”

cheribella Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
6 months ago

I feel like this idiot may also be a sitting member of Congress. https://time.com/3001785/todd-akin-legitimate-rape-msnbc-child-of-rape/

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#5

Well Damn, Where Are All My Kids Then??

Well Damn, Where Are All My Kids Then??

lilycama Report

Angela Turrall
Community Member
6 months ago

But did she have a tiny purse in her vagina? Just big enough for her drivers license?

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#6

Let's Not Forget This Gem Either

Let's Not Forget This Gem Either

isapphic Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
6 months ago (edited)

Just imagine the reverse: "every hair in my beard becoming a tiny penis"

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However, it isn't all doom and gloom in the literary world. There are male writers who can write women well, too. "Terry Pratchett is wonderful, and I've yet to see a submission from Michael Crichton," Vondriska shared that she, like many of us, is a Pratchett fan.

Vondriska also pointed out that, in her opinion, the best writers are well-read. So she encouraged all of us to read more and (most importantly) read more widely.

"Pay attention to what you're reading, and who you're reading. You have to make sure your bookshelf isn't made up of just men. Add in some spice—some female authors, some nonbinary authors, authors of color. And lastly, just because you were assigned a book in high school, doesn't mean its good!"

#7

Ugly Women Without Good Personalities Should Kill Themselves [rivers Of London By Ben Aaronovitch]

Ugly Women Without Good Personalities Should Kill Themselves [rivers Of London By Ben Aaronovitch]

reddit.com Report

Vincent Philippart
Community Member
6 months ago (edited)

Jesus...

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#8

This Made My Breasts Frown

This Made My Breasts Frown

lordeandsaviour Report

Rowlie
Community Member
6 months ago

Lately my breasts only cry and sigh deeply. I miss all the smiling

OhForSmegSake
Community Member
6 months ago

Mine have resting bitch face

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🌺🍍🌼🌻🌼🍍🌺
Community Member
6 months ago

is this what men mean when they say you should smile more?

No You
Community Member
6 months ago

This really needs more upvotes

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ispeak catanese
Community Member
6 months ago

Mine are looking on the ground for change.

Zinti
Community Member
6 months ago (edited)

My breasts just give sardonic side-eye. They're silently judging you.

Azziza
Community Member
6 months ago

Yeah, my breasts just weep whenever I hear a baby cry.

Rebekah
Community Member
6 months ago

My boobs and I have the BEST conversations!

David Moody
Community Member
6 months ago

You mean your breasts do talk?

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Terri Altman-Hollister
Community Member
6 months ago

My breasts don't smile anymore...they sullenly stare at the floor.

Cassie
Community Member
6 months ago

I'm pretty sure his mind was vacant for the duration of at least the scene, if not the entire story.

Susan Reid Smith
Community Member
6 months ago

Later on he sat for a time, his mind vacant.

Purr·maid
Community Member
6 months ago

A normal occurrence.

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Aamna Shah
Community Member
6 months ago

What was he trying to achieve with this? Are there 'slap your ignorant ass face' breasts as well?

Linda Simpson Abare
Community Member
3 months ago

Mine have this silly little laugh, ya know, they titter. (I'll show myself out)🤣😂

OhForSmegSake
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm mad that I didn't think of that. Wish I could upvote your comment a million times 😂😂

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Granny
Community Member
6 months ago

My breastises Smile and my Ass frowns.a Lot..

MALEC GWITTER
Community Member
3 months ago

Right now my breasts are screaming and flipping off this mothertrucker asshat

Gyro Zeppeli
Community Member
5 months ago

my man tiddies weep

tuzdayschild
Community Member
6 months ago

Well I'd like to see that.

Jo Choto
Community Member
6 months ago

Yeah, the bit that should have been underlined was, "his mind vacant".

Anxious-lesbian-disaster
Community Member
6 months ago

By breasts glare at this

Purr·maid
Community Member
6 months ago

Wish I had breasts that'd smile.

Carina Madsen
Community Member
6 months ago

Is this for real?! 😆😆 my breasts are cry-laughing

Elijah Snow
Community Member
6 months ago

LMFAO!!!!

M Kate McCulloch
Community Member
6 months ago

I like that he sat for a while with his mind vacant - it's usual state... hahahahahahaaa....

Patricia Peel
Community Member
6 months ago

His mind was vacant before he sat for a while!

A Random Panda 2
Community Member
6 months ago

My preteen half- developed boobies cried at this.

Idk Katniss Potter
Community Member
6 months ago

Omg same

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MagNat
Community Member
6 months ago

Mine are cringing right now.

Leah Pheonix
Community Member
1 week ago

This was a rather failed attempt for a simile

Distant Smoke
Community Member
2 weeks ago

“...and sat for a time, his mind vacant.” I’ve actually met this guy.

Nothing Fancy
Community Member
2 weeks ago

I think his mind was vacant when he wrote this.

juniper chatham
Community Member
2 weeks ago

what.

GenXandEarnedItAll
Community Member
2 weeks ago

After nursing three children I now have furniture disease. My chest is in my drawers.

The Coated Dev
Community Member
1 month ago

I've now lost my 3rd brain cell from reading this.

Fara Giganti
Community Member
2 months ago

. . .

bruce westfall
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm a 56 yr old man and cannot read this anymore. How horrible...of these writers.

BananaAnna
Community Member
3 months ago

That would explain the blank, never smiling face she showed the world and the fact that she never wore clothing on her upper body.

Leila Noury
Community Member
3 months ago

oh god..

LegendYak
Community Member
3 months ago

My breasts are crying at this

Rhylie W.
Community Member
3 months ago

How did women even approve of these books?

Hi Buddy
Community Member
3 months ago

Her: awww thanks?

Judy Windham Saunders
Community Member
4 months ago

". . . and sat for a time, his mind vacant." Yeah. I think his mind was vacant long before the phone call.

Leslie K Von Dell
Community Member
4 months ago

I think I"m gonna hurl....

Gyro Zeppeli
Community Member
5 months ago

my man tiddies can only weep

Aidan Garza
Community Member
5 months ago

EWWWWWWWWW

Nicole Tomme
Community Member
6 months ago

They just show too much gum though

Bewarethenargles
Community Member
6 months ago

Wtf? How

Calum Sanderson
Community Member
6 months ago

my breasts shoot missiles, and I'm a man

Lisa Tetlow
Community Member
6 months ago

Huh... I've never seen breasts do anything but stare.

Lunar Owo Potato
Community Member
6 months ago

If only they frowned

Brandi VanSteenwyk
Community Member
6 months ago

This one didn't bother me as much as the others. Breasts that smile can only smile deeper as they sag with age.

KT Pinto
Community Member
6 months ago

Again, it's the characters pov, and the author - male or female - is just awful.

Shelley DuVal
Community Member
6 months ago

well, of course, his mind was vacant, that seems to be a permanent thing with male writers.

Euni Hinojosa
Community Member
6 months ago

Science fiction.

Colleen Hindson
Community Member
6 months ago

Again, women valued only for their looks, and in this case, only for her breasts.

Melissa Powell
Community Member
6 months ago

I read all the comments (okay most of them0. They are hysterically funny. Thanks for the laugh, 4 days before the American election. Pray for us, please.

Debby Bright
Community Member
6 months ago

Has this guy even SEEN real breasts?

Catherine Bartholome
Community Member
6 months ago

Oh, Lord, are there men this inane?!

Cybele Spanjaard
Community Member
6 months ago

The mind boggles at smiling breast. I know we authors must write visually but please .....I think the editors need a push in theirs too

Sasha Kuleshov
Community Member
6 months ago

Mine kind of shrug all the time :P

ShikamaruPanda
Community Member
6 months ago

uhm.. ew? Breasts that smile-

Kyle Bartz
Community Member
1 month ago

Smiling breasts = perky breasts. Not rocket science.

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#9

That's Not How Any Of This Works

That's Not How Any Of This Works

menwritewomen Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
6 months ago

HAHAHAHAHA

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#10

Unsurprisingly, The Book's Terrible Writing From A "Proclaimed" Writer Does Not End Here (The Wedding Plot, Jeffrey Eugenides)

Unsurprisingly, The Book's Terrible Writing From A "Proclaimed" Writer Does Not End Here (The Wedding Plot, Jeffrey Eugenides)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
6 months ago

Boobs are testicles. They don't "withdraw" because there is muscle and a rib cage underneath and they are just mounds of fat and milk producing tissue. I feel like so many people here did not pay attention in health class. How can they be so clueless about the female body?

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#11

Male Authors Writing Women Are Actually Just Horror Stories And Here's Why

Male Authors Writing Women Are Actually Just Horror Stories And Here's Why

isapphic Report

Vincent Philippart
Community Member
6 months ago

She was "probably" molested?? How does that work?

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#12

Ah Yes, Exactly How I'd Describe Myself (The Diamond Age, Neal Stephenson)

Ah Yes, Exactly How I'd Describe Myself (The Diamond Age, Neal Stephenson)

menwritewomen Report

Theodore Theodora
Community Member
6 months ago

Woman: "I'm SO HOT omg." Dude: "Just like my dead wife." What?!

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#13

I'm Sorry, Her Breasts Do What

I'm Sorry, Her Breasts Do What

alexis_writes1 Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
6 months ago

I've had more bras ripped to pieces that way

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#14

She's Eleven And Scared But Let's Talk About Her Nipples

She's Eleven And Scared But Let's Talk About Her Nipples

Professor_Owl Report

Rowlie
Community Member
6 months ago

Stranger danger

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#15

This Whole Book Has Both My Eyes And My Boobs Rolling.

This Whole Book Has Both My Eyes And My Boobs Rolling.

icomebearingpoop Report

Squee
Community Member
6 months ago

H-how would you even...?

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#16

Be Horrified With The Rest Of Us

Be Horrified With The Rest Of Us

meganaderr Report

Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
6 months ago

Men like Conde should not be surprised that sexy women love other women, and he really should try to help that male chauvinism.

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#17

Breasts Totally Get Scared

Breasts Totally Get Scared

Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
6 months ago

My breasts are embarrassed by this.

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#18

The Count Of Monte Cristo- 1884

The Count Of Monte Cristo- 1884

HotMopo Report

RaroaRaroa
Community Member
6 months ago

Poor old lady. :-D

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#19

Plz Put This On My Tombstone #submission (The Dogs, Scott Smith)

Plz Put This On My Tombstone #submission (The Dogs, Scott Smith)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
6 months ago

Barbie doesn't have a vagina. Would anyone describe a man as " Bob- sweet, green eyed bob, with his short red hair, his musky skin and his Ken doll penis"?

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#20

*me To My Friend* Excuse Me, May I Please Borrow Your Eyeballs?

*me To My Friend* Excuse Me, May I Please Borrow Your Eyeballs?

menwritewomen Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
6 months ago

*brandishes ice cream scoop* Your eyeballs, please.

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#21

She Was Flesh And Blood, Not The 2D Woman He Was Used To Objectifying On Television, And For That She Was All The More Special (A Time On Earth, Vihelm Moberg)

She Was Flesh And Blood, Not The 2D Woman He Was Used To Objectifying On Television, And For That She Was All The More Special (A Time On Earth, Vihelm Moberg)

menwritewomen Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
6 months ago

But no head, brain or mouth. How convenient!

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#22

Literally No Woman Would Ever Do This (Misterioso, Arne Dahl)

Literally No Woman Would Ever Do This (Misterioso, Arne Dahl)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
6 months ago

Well she might if she wants him to go away. And since it appears he is creeping on her in her sleep that might be her goal. The bigger problem appears to be that he feels like he as a right to sex

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#23

Only Sluts Have Hairy Legs (The Things They Carried, Tim O'brien)

Only Sluts Have Hairy Legs (The Things They Carried, Tim O'brien)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
6 months ago

dry sounds like she just needs to use more lotion. dry skin is horribly itchy

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#24

Thank God For The Bikini Wax.

Thank God For The Bikini Wax.

sausageroll101 Report

Charlotte A.
Community Member
6 months ago

Since when do bruises make your body sexier?

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#25

Wish I Had Pillowy Breasts! Taken From Ben Fountain’s Brief Encounters With Che Guevara

Wish I Had Pillowy Breasts! Taken From Ben Fountain’s Brief Encounters With Che Guevara

inquisitorial_25 Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
6 months ago

I'm more concerned by the fact he seems to routinely check out boys' butts and uses that as the benchmark of sexy.

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#26

The Rest Reads “Dad Is Looking Like He Made A Better Decision Every Year”. What?!?

The Rest Reads “Dad Is Looking Like He Made A Better Decision Every Year”. What?!?

sadhairahcaz Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
6 months ago

wow that is very Oedipal.

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#27

This Is A Totally Anatomically Normal Thing For Breasts To Do #submission (We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, Philip Dick)

This Is A Totally Anatomically Normal Thing For Breasts To Do #submission (We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, Philip Dick)

menwritewomen Report

Rowlie
Community Member
6 months ago

That nail....

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#28

#menwritingwomen No Wonder Some Of Them Think Our Breasts Stop Us From Doing Stuff If They Think We’re As Obsessed As They Are. We Can’t Get Away From Them. Oh Must Do This Important Thing But Wait!

#menwritingwomen No Wonder Some Of Them Think Our Breasts Stop Us From Doing Stuff If They Think We’re As Obsessed As They Are. We Can’t Get Away From Them. Oh Must Do This Important Thing But Wait!

KathrynEvansInk Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
6 months ago

Well this seems to reinforce every ugly stereotype of men being sex crazed horndogs

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#29

'the Shining', By Stephen King. Its Always Breasts

'the Shining', By Stephen King. Its Always Breasts

GodfreyCrane Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
6 months ago

Your human disguise doesn't work when you're a goat.

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Note: this post originally had 78 images. It’s been shortened to the top 29 images based on user votes.

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