Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Pregnant Woman Balks After Finding Out She’s Been Living In A Brutal Lie With Her Partner
483

Pregnant Woman Balks After Finding Out She’s Been Living In A Brutal Lie With Her Partner

ADVERTISEMENT

When entering a new relationship, it’s not uncommon to keep some things for yourself, at least for the time being. Like, you don’t have to reveal all your future aspirations or divulge any family drama before you know you’re serious about the person. However, once things get going and you know you both want to stick around, it is time to shed the layers of mystery.

Unfortunately, though, not all people do that. For one reason or another, they like to keep even the most important parts of their lives to themselves and do so for many years.

In the following story, the author’s partner kept a huge secret from her for six years before the circumstances lead him to confess to what he’s been hiding. And this life-altering revelations came when she was pregnant, too. Scroll down to read how it all unfolded.

When you’re pregnant, the changes in your body are plenty to deal with already

Image credits: Rido81 (not the actual photo)

Unfortunately, sometimes, the rest of the world doesn’t understand that and throws other life-altering experiences your way, which is what happened in the following story

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Usia

The author’s frustration is understandable

Image credits: Dids (not the actual photo)

The confession has put the author in quite a predicament. On one hand, her partner has lied about a very important detail of his life for years. Why didn’t he share it? Did he not trust her all this time? What else could he be lying about? And if lying comes so easy to him, how will she be sure he is truthful in the future?

At the same time, she has already built quite a stable life with him. They have two kids and another one on their way, too. The lie didn’t directly affect their everyday lives or their relationship, so maybe it is mendable. There’s just a lot to work through.

There’s quite a big decision wait for the author up ahead

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: PNW Production (not the actual photo)

When you find your relationship is on the rocks you might start wondering whether you should stay or go. If that’s the case, step away from the situation for a moment and try to assess it for what it is.

Know that it is still worth staying if:

  • The problems are rather superficial. Maybe you think there isn’t enough excitement in your relationship or romance. This can be tough, but things like that can be easily remedied if you put some extra thought and effort into it.
  • You have children. Their lives and happiness are at stake here, which really ups the ante. So, give it your best when trying to remedy the situation before calling it quits.
  • You still love each other. In the end, if there’s still connection, understanding, and kindness that you feel for your partner, it might be best to give it another shot.

Know you need to go if:

  • You have tried it all. You talked it out, you tried therapy, you took a break and things are still falling apart at the seams.
  • You’re both not willing to change. Neither you nor your partner are working on your behavioral issues and there’s not improvement in sight.
  • You are experiencing abuse in the relationship. There is no justification for that.

In this case, it seems that the first step is calming down, gathering your thoughts and questions, and sitting down to talk. That will determine where the relationship is going to go next.

Many people in the comments offered condolences and some even shared similar instances that happened in their lives

ADVERTISEMENT

In general, everyone agreed that its a messy situation

ADVERTISEMENT
Share on Facebook
You May Like
Popular on Bored Panda
Hey pandas, what do you think?
Add photo comments
POST
sonja_6 avatar
Sonja
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely disagree with staying together for the kids sake. Doing this will poison the relationship further and harm the children. Always. It'll hurt them. Even if the problem is solvable, getting separated while figuring things out and finding a common ground will be easier than staying together and get all riled up about the same things over and over. Many problems, if not all, need at least some distance and room to think to get solved. Removing the conflict from the family unit can be beneficial. If you want it to work out for the kids you have to accept that staying together isn't automatically the best option. Being forced to watch you parents endure a loveless relationship can seriously damage the kids.

katar13 avatar
Elio
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. And my parents had one of those friendly divorces and no one did anything crazy like have a secret family. This guy is not trustworthy at all. It's entirely possible that he is secretly married in another country. Maybe OP can sue this guy for fraud like the last woman on here who married a guy who kept the fact that he had 2 kids secret.

Load More Replies...
christinekuhn avatar
Ael
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man uses several women as breeding mares, leaves them when he can get another.

omboyganesh avatar
ॐBoyGanesh
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t know how common this is, but I know what it’s like being the child in a similar situation. My parents met as teens at a resort in the Caribbean. My mother’s family visiting from the USA, my father’s from Netherlands. Both families had holiday same place, same/overlapping time for years. They hooked up there when they were both 16. My mom had me in the UK. Both families kept it on the DL. I grew up with mom 1st in India, then between Hawaii & San Francisco. I’ve spent all my summers/holidays with family in Utrecht or SF & NYC. Usually I was with my grandparents (aunts/uncles & cousins, too) on these trips. My dad remained a single “playboy” & only dropped by. He’s been telling his slew of girlfriends he’s childless since I was born. He’s great when I see him & now I’m in my 50’s he’s much more present & attentive. He would go to great lengths when I was younger to keep his lovers from knowing he had a son. Only to maintain his independence in their eyes.

Load More Comments
sonja_6 avatar
Sonja
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely disagree with staying together for the kids sake. Doing this will poison the relationship further and harm the children. Always. It'll hurt them. Even if the problem is solvable, getting separated while figuring things out and finding a common ground will be easier than staying together and get all riled up about the same things over and over. Many problems, if not all, need at least some distance and room to think to get solved. Removing the conflict from the family unit can be beneficial. If you want it to work out for the kids you have to accept that staying together isn't automatically the best option. Being forced to watch you parents endure a loveless relationship can seriously damage the kids.

katar13 avatar
Elio
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. And my parents had one of those friendly divorces and no one did anything crazy like have a secret family. This guy is not trustworthy at all. It's entirely possible that he is secretly married in another country. Maybe OP can sue this guy for fraud like the last woman on here who married a guy who kept the fact that he had 2 kids secret.

Load More Replies...
christinekuhn avatar
Ael
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man uses several women as breeding mares, leaves them when he can get another.

omboyganesh avatar
ॐBoyGanesh
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t know how common this is, but I know what it’s like being the child in a similar situation. My parents met as teens at a resort in the Caribbean. My mother’s family visiting from the USA, my father’s from Netherlands. Both families had holiday same place, same/overlapping time for years. They hooked up there when they were both 16. My mom had me in the UK. Both families kept it on the DL. I grew up with mom 1st in India, then between Hawaii & San Francisco. I’ve spent all my summers/holidays with family in Utrecht or SF & NYC. Usually I was with my grandparents (aunts/uncles & cousins, too) on these trips. My dad remained a single “playboy” & only dropped by. He’s been telling his slew of girlfriends he’s childless since I was born. He’s great when I see him & now I’m in my 50’s he’s much more present & attentive. He would go to great lengths when I was younger to keep his lovers from knowing he had a son. Only to maintain his independence in their eyes.

Load More Comments
Popular on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda