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Being treated unfairly, or at least differently just based on one's gender is a supremely annoying experience. The most blatant examples of it are just that, blatant and easy to notice. But what about more insidious, little versions of it?
So someone asked “What's one “little” form of sexism you notice all the time, but most people don't even realize it's sexist?” and people shared their thoughts. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote the most important examples and be sure to add your own thoughts and stories in the comments section down below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Doctor addressed my fiance about MY diagnoses at MY doctor appointment and then shushed me when I spoke up to answer.
I put in a complaint to clinic and found a new doctor immediately. Also didn't pay the bill.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
This is the way, along with complaining to the head of the hospital, and going on social media. Name, blame, shame.
RELATED:
#2
Car safety. Women are in general shorter and lighter than the default ‘safest’ position. Crash test dummies are not set up to test drivers who are ‘out of position’ - which is how many women have to drive because of their height. So when a woman is involved in a car crash, she is 47% more likely to be seriously injured, and 71% more likely to be moderately injured, even when researchers control for factors such as height, weight, seatbelt usage, and crash intensity. She is also 17% more likely to [be unalived]. And it’s all to do with how the car is designed – and for whom.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago (edited)
This is a huge issue, why is it so far down the list? This is the only one that will k**l you.
#3
My husband notices this more than I do... I guess I've just gotten used to it. In any sales, or official situation, the person we are dealing with, whether it is a sales person, police, or any other person, most of them address him and barely glance at me.
We once witnessed a minor car accident. An older man hit a car a woman was driving. When the police arrived, the man was saying how the woman was speeding down the street. I tried to give my account of the accident, the cop completely ignored me and asked my spouse what happened. Fortunately, for the woman, my husband gave the same account I tried to give, that the woman's speed did not seem excessive and it appeared the man pulled out without looking. I could tell the cop was looking for a reason to blame the woman.
It was my husband that mentioned to me, later, how rude it was for the cop to ignore me. Life had taught me to expect that treatment.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
I just don't allow this to happen. I'm very happy to get loud, stroppy, and demanding, because what I have to say is important, true, and needs to be heard. I'm also not shy about calling out sexism in the moment, then documenting and reporting. I'd have reported that cop to their supervisor, and gone all the way up to the Chief of Ds and then newspaper and television and social media if I had to. P**s me off? Prepare to pay, and pay for a long, long time. I'd want to ruin that cop's rep, and he'd have deserved every bit of it. Lost his pension? Whatever. Next time listen to witnesses and don't be a dumb sexist pig.
#4
People seeing a father with his kids and making comments like "oh you're babysitting" or implying that he can't handle it without mom. It's called parenting and dads can parent too. These kinds of comments are derogatory toward fathers.
Pittsburgh rare 1 month ago
On the flip side, a single father receives nothing but praise and offers to help while a single mother is either ignored or even blamed for her "bad choices". Been there, witnessed that with my last ex. After raising a daughter alone, was not prepared to see how society treats a man doing exactly the same l did. It's frustrating to put it mildly
#5
When we go to a formal event or check into a pretty nice Hotel, and the person looks at me (the man) and addresses me as “Doctor So and So”. I look at them and point to my wife. “That would be her, I barely graduated with a Bachelor’s degree”.
#6
Television commercials typically portray the husband or boyfriend as inept or dumb while the woman is portrayed as clear-thinking, wise, and competent.
Roxy222uk 1 month ago (edited)
People don’t realise how much this is done in films too. The basic underlying premise is that men can be as cråp as possible and they still deserve a happy ending and to get the girl. If the woman wants to even see herself represented on TV she needs to be conventionally attractive, competent in just about everything, and endlessly forgiving and loving of useless men. I wonder whose fantasy this is - men's or women's
#7
Just a little one I've seen as a teacher: when faced with the prospect of contacting a child's family, most teachers I know will just automatically call the mother. We do have contact forms on file with the primary contact listed, but not everyone has access to it. And even with the primary designated, there are still some who will start with mom without even checking who is the preferring contact person. Imo it's sexist to assume that all child-rearing duties are managed by the mother - the father is just as much a parent as the mother. Realistically, most of the time it really is the mom who is managing these things, but not all of the time. Don't assume, and contact the designated primary contact!
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
I've only heard of this happening in angry BP posts. Who even looks down the list? You just call the first number. But good news, not following the directions on an emergency sheet in an emergency is cause to report the school in the US to the accreditation body, and in the UK you can make a complaint to the school HR team and the council.
#8
When there’s something in the news, let’s say a person is injured, the headlines often say “mother of 2 injured” or “grandmother injured” or similar. If it’s a man, it just says “man injured.”
With women the thing that makes it important is that they have offspring. With men, they’re important enough on their own. Once you notice it, you will see it a LOT.
Justanotherpanda 1 month ago
Wife of (importants mans name) has achieved something. Never called by name first always affiliation to.a man.
#9
I was trying to get a roof estimate a few years ago- the rep said I’d have to have my husband there for the estimate. I said, “I don’t have one of those”. Then he said well, your father then. “Well, that’s a tough one since I don’t have one of those available either. He past several years ago”
I go so pissed that I said I wouldn’t deal with your company after this conversation anyways.
Jacquie Carr 1 month ago (edited)
I'd have said, "Are you trying to tell me that it's not safe for me to be alone with one of your workers??"
#10
When I first started volunteering at church dinners, women thought they had to explain to me how to wash dishes by hand. None of the apartments I've had in the last 28 years had dishwashers in them. I wash dishes all the time. Also, it's not that hard to figure out.
One time when I brought homemade cookies to work, I had this conversation with a woman:
Her: Oh did your wife bake those?
Me: I don't have a wife. I baked them.
Her: Oh, so you bought a roll of cookie dough, sliced it up and put it in the oven?
Me: No, I made them from scratch with a Betty Crocker recipe.
Kristiina Männiste 1 month ago
A guy I hunt with, bakes amazing pies and cakes. All fluffy and stuff. He takes them with him for his lunch at the hunt. I cant even make pancakes. Well I cant eat any pancakes either but would be nice to at least theoretically know how to make them.
#11
Medical personnel dismissing the complaints of women, dismissing their pain. An obese acquaintance kept fainting and she was told to lose weight. She dropped dead from some kind of cardiac event, I wasn’t given the details. Drs do uterine biopsies, where they use a medical hole punch. No anesthetic, no pain meds.
#12
Not to be dismissive of the other comments here, but I have a less mainstream list from a masculine perspective . Apologies to OP who only asked for one…
1. Expected to hold doors but criticized as sexist if they do.
2. Expected to pay for dates; judged if they don’t.
3. Expected to compliment women’s looks but dismissed when they want compliments themselves.
4. Assumed to be incompetent with cooking, cleaning, or childcare (“bumbling dad” stereotype).
5. Expected to give up seats, walk on the curb side, or take physical risks for women.
6. Pressured to suppress emotions due to “toxic masculinity” (a sexist label all by itself), but also mocked when they show vulnerability.
7. Men’s struggles with body image or objectification often minimized or laughed at.
8. Male victims of domestic violence or harassment are less likely to be taken seriously.
9. Success or ambition in men sometimes framed as “toxic” when the same traits in women are praised as empowerment.
10. Expected to provide financial security, but criticized if they expect appreciation for it.
11. Male friendships often mocked if they’re too physically or emotionally close (“no homo” pressure).
12. Criticized for being short, balding, or not muscular, while body shaming of women is more heavily condemned.
13. Mocked if they enjoy hobbies considered “feminine” (baking, fashion, dance).
14. Less social acceptance of men wearing makeup, skincare, or aesthetic self-care compared to women (“trans” labeling).
#13
The way people gush over how “lucky” I am that I have a husband who pulls his weight caregiving our kids and keeping our household running. But he never hears about how “lucky” he is to have a wife who contributes a significant portion of our income by working.
Lisa Sturgiss 1 month ago
I grew up with parents like this and I was always so baffled when people would shockingly say " your dad cooks?" "your dad is picking you up?!" "your dad did your hair?!" yes - both my parents worked full time and shared the load. Intertestingly I have met and found a man exactly like my dad in that way <3
#14
The pockets on women’s clothing.
#15
I used to do point of sale and sometimes a programming call was actually hardware, so I learned hardware too so I could serve the customers better. Once I got out my soldering iron and a WOMAN of all people asked if I knew what I was doing. I wanted to tell her to take a few steps closer and find out for herself! I was the best person at soldering in my small company. Never a cold solder joint. Never a sloppy job, and a lot of the men did very sloppy work.
When my husband accidentally clipped a data wire to our a/c unit and was on the phone with the company, I was out there splicing and reinforcing with shrink tubing and electrical wire. The man at the a/c yelled at my husband, "Don't let your WIFE fix it!" My husband stood up for me and said I knew what I was doing. My splice held even during a hurricane. I stand by all my splice and solder work.
And don't even get me started on how often men would tell me to smile. I'm not a d**n cheerleader. No one tells men to smile when out for a run. No one tells a man to smile when they're programming a computer or doing some tricky task that requires concentration. But there's a certain type of man who thinks every woman should be smiling at all times. I would never commit an act of violence, but they've sorely tempted me.
#16
The price discrepancy in male vs female clothes. And the quality.
#17
Servers would usually place my and my ex-boyfriend’s drinks in the wrong place. They would put my beer in front of him and his fruity drink in front of me 😂.
Trashy Panda 1 month ago
They kind of have to do this because if they got it wrong some lame and insecure dude would get all pissy that he was handed a fruity drink.
#18
The way men simply…take up space. Women are always expected to walk around them, give way to them, give them room. Men just expect it without giving any thought to it whatsoever. Women do it without any thought. It’s kind of fascinating , actually, and sometimes I just experiment in the grocery store. Men will walk right in to you! Women never will. I became aware of this when a trans FTM was asked about the changes they noticed after their transition, and this was one of the most puzzling to them.
Jacquie Carr 1 month ago
I've been trying this in the street; the shock on their face that they have to move is hilarious every single time
#19
When all the male doctors get referred to by their title and last name while us female doctors get referred to by our first names. It’s absolutely incredible to see how often this happens on conference panels or in news reports that reference multiple physicians. It happens at work all the time too.
I honestly really don’t care about using my title when I’m talking to other healthcare workers, but in a formal setting, it is a bit of [annoying] to be detitled while all the men get the full formal style.
#20
General conversation equity with most men. Taking way too many turns speaking without letting a woman get a word in, talking over/ interrupting women, not acknowledging them as people who are engaged equally in an interaction, be it personal or professional.
I'm not talking about people who do this to everyone, generally speaking. Im talking about men who do this disproportionately or exclusively to women. We can see the discrepancies in how we are treated.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
I've learned to just nope out and wander off. If they aren't asking questions, constantly interrupting, why bother continuing? Show boredom openly. Glance at your watch, then just leave. Do this over and over until they get it. And if this is at work, put them on LC as much as possible.
#21
Hey OP. 49 year old married father of two here. My wife is experiencing perimenopause. It’s *brutal*.
The sexism I’ve seen is from medical staff. She is simply not believed when she explains that her symptoms are dressing and she wants relief, particularly from (surprise surprise) older male doctors.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
Again, getting blunt and harsh with these older doctors is what's needed. So is changing doctors and reporting them for less than proffessional behavior.
#22
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor where he weighed in quite substantially over weight so the doctor turned his angry glaring eyes to the wife and demanded to know "What have you been feeding him?".
katiekat0214 1 month ago
And that's when the wife should have lambasted the doctor about sexism, in every possible way, and then reported the doctor to the hospital, to the AMA, and gone on social media, then found another doctor. Name, blame, shame. Wrong on every level.
#23
Toddler girls crop tops with tiny shorts, vs toddler boys t-shirts and knee length shorts.
-worryaboutyourself-:
This is my biggest issue. I have daughters. Why does my 10 year old have the option to buy a crop top?? And the popular shorts right now are cute and the legs are shaped kinda like flower petals BUT they’re so damn short I get frustrated! And don’t get me started on the homecoming dresses the girls wear. When they can’t even sit down without their legs and butt cheeks touching the chair it’s ridiculous.
Roxy222uk 1 month ago
Buying tee shirts for boys and girls really brought this home to me. Right from birth ‘girls’ tee shirts are cut lower in the neckline! Because, as we know, girls like to show a bit more flesh than boys do. I found it really disgusting when I saw how widespread it was/is. I mostly put my daughter in ‘boys’ tee shirts, but when my son spotted a tee shirt he liked with a kitten or puppy on it (heaven forbid a boy should be interested in cute animals) I was hesitant because I didn’t like that lower neckline.
#24
I used to sell electronic equipment and use it frequently for work. Whenever there's a malfunction, the men around me want to tell me what the problem is, and they are always wrong. I know how to troubleshoot my own gear, but thanks anyway.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
A catch-phrase I've used for someone who's clueless but directive is, "I don't need any help. If I want help, I'll ask. If I don't ask, don't tell me what to do." And then stare at them. I've been known to put on very large headphones when a male cow-orker (dash is right) just kept being clueless and directive, and I knew what I was doing. Took him a while, but the poor slow dear finally got the message and backed off.
#25
1. Referring to female politicians by their first names (Hillary, Kamala, etc) and male politicians by their last names (Trump, Bush, Obama).
2. If a guy hit on me he wouldn’t leave me alone until I said I was already in a relationship. Then, suddenly, it was all good and he apologized for bothering me. Like it only mattered once he knew I was someone else’s territory.
3. Making any major purchase, like a car or mortgage, and the salespeople or financial people spend the whole time talking to my husband, even if I initiated the interaction. Or the tone of their voice becomes condescending when explaining a contract. Like I can’t handle math?
4. Any man who is not a board-certified gynecologist thinking they know more about my body than I do. I’ve seen a guy online try to explain to a group of women what mammograms are.
5. I’m supposed to use overpriced art supplies to create an optical illusion on my eyes and face to make them appear a different shape or color. I’m supposed to use overpriced magic potions to make it look like time does not affect me. If I don’t do this, then I don’t look “professional”. On the flip side, god forbid a man wants to have fun playing with colors of eyeshadow or nail polish. Now he’s the unprofessional one. My husband gets frustrated that women’s shirts come in all kinds of fun colors and patterns, but clothing manufacturers assume that men can only wear black, navy, dark green, gray, white, or a different shade of gray. He bought a women’s rash guard just so he could have a light blue one with butterflies.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
1. This is gojng to persist until women stop changing their last names. Since last names frequently change for women they aren't given as much importance in the culture because the name they keep is their first name. 2. As a woman if I were to discover I'd been flirting with someone who was in a relationship I would also apologise. 3. Don't buy from sexist sales people. Ask for a different agent etc. 4. This is two problems, mansplaining and lack of education. 5. Just don't wear make up. It's easy, done it all my life. No one cares.
#26
Being fat as a man is a physical trait. Being fat as a woman is a character flaw.
Trashy Panda 1 month ago (edited)
Speaking as a man who's being overweight his entire life: WRONG.
#27
Pink tool boxes at Home Depot for girls.
'Saw the same thing with garden tools at a local nursery.
A tool box should be gender neutral. Same with garden tools.
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago
It's like shampoos and perfumes, "divine flowers and unicorn tears" for the girls and "firewood and testosterone" for the guys.
#28
A group of guys apologizing to the woman in the group about their "swearing" and stuff like that. Inappropriate language for a laaaaaady.
I'm filthier than y'all, bring it.
Annik Perrot 1 month ago
I'm pretty potty-mouthed myself, and so's my husband. We have to restrain ourselves around our grandkids.
#29
Male cops, doctors, pilots, etc… are called cops, doctors and pilots, but if they’re women, some men will always call them female cop, woman doctor, female pilot…. completely unnecessary.
Same goes for models and nurses who are men. A male nurse or model will even introduce themselves as male models and male nurses. Thanks. We couldn’t tell.
Roxy222uk 1 month ago
I’ve been surprised that people that work with children still say ‘fireman’, ‘policeman’ etc. I don’t understand why they wouldn’t decide to change what they said. I’m not averse to challenging them (I can do it very gently) with something like ‘ooh, aren’t we supposed to say fire fighters nowadays, so that girls grow up knowing they can do it too?’ the reaction is always surprise and ‘oh, yes, I never thought of that’. What???
#30
Unsolicited advice on parenting and relationships. Very annoying, especially because I’m single and have zero kids. Because I’m a woman those should be “a given” or a “first priority” apparently.
Also when I tell those people I’m single with no kids they look at me with a sad face and something about “I’m so sorry” or “keep trying, you will find your husband soon”. Like???
katiekat0214 1 month ago
This was my hill to die on, since I am/was an early articulator childfree person. I knew from age five or six I never wanted kids, and I never let people tell me otherwise, and would absolutely end up shouting, interrupting, talking over them if they ever said c**p like "you'll change your mind". It was always worth it to force them to back down and back off and realize that I and many others knew our own minds, knew what we did and did not want in life, and were utterly resistant to being coerced or manipulated to follow the crowd. And then, I personally put those people on NC or LC because they were clearly too traditional, closeminded, conventional, and conservative for me to get along with anyway. Never a loss. I'll be d****d before anyone tells me what my priorities should be. Don't open that can of worms unless you are prepared for a fight you will lose.
#31
No one gifts my son babydolls. It's a small thing, but sure does send a message.
Angarade 1 month ago
I've been insulted by a man once in a store because I let my 3yo son buy a Barbie.
YakFactory 1 month ago
And why shouldn't your son have a Barbie? It's adults who mostly enforce gender stereotypes, but children need to learn about both male and female roles. I used to tell our son that the only thing boys can't do is be a mother, and women can't be fathers. However, I don't think even that is true any more.
Load More Replies... Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 month ago
We've got a 10 month old in the house (we're kind of a three-parent team between the baby's mum, her mum (my partner) and me) and one thing we're agreed on is that there are no girl toys or boy toys, nor girl jobs and boy jobs. She's got clothes of all colours, she's got whacky-smacky toys, cuddly toys, cars, ponies, and everything in between. Whatever job she wants to do when she's older is great (but if she gets into STEM I'll be delighted :D)
BrownEyedGrrl 1 month ago
I bought my 2-year-old grandson a baby doll for Christmas. He loves it. His father was not happy about it.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 month ago
In all fairness I tried the whole baby doll thing with my son. And Barbies. He just does not like to play with that stuff. There really are boy girl differences that I didn't appreciate until I had a son.
Kathleen 3 weeks ago
No there are differences between children. My brother's toys were way more fun than mine, cars you could race, diggers and lego, so mostly we played with his. My son had no interest in dolls or action figures but loved his stuffies as well as cars and trucks. Just give them what they want not what you think they should want.
Load More Replies...
April Pickett 1 month ago
I used to dress both of my daughters in pants and shirts (infant/toddler) for convenience and comfort. It's amazing how much faster they can crawl in pants as opposed to a dress.
#32
Womens sports. Why do women have to have their [behinds] hanging out to play volleyball or just about every other sport? They have to be eye candy to get anyone to bother to watch apparently?
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Any sport where women have to wear a skirt is batently just done can watch girls get sweaty in a cute outfit. If they were advantageous as clothing, the men's team would also wear them. Getting teens to wear skirts for competition is beyond pervy. My high school coach wouldn't stand for it and called others out, and that was back before smart phone cameras. People who support this now are just condoning creepy behaviour.
#33
Somehow the women in our office are always tasked with organizing office parties- never the men.
Eugene the Jeep 1 month ago
Because it's usually the women who want to have the party to celebrate birthdays or holidays or retirements, etc. Men think all that stuff is BS.
#34
The entire cosmetics industry. The idea that the natural color of a womans lips, cheeks, eyebrows, eye lids somehow needs to be corrected for them to look "complete".
HeavyMetalHeart 1 month ago
I personally love wearing makeup. Women obviously shouldn’t feel pressured to do it but I enjoy it.
#35
On certain so-called news networks, the women wear short skirts and have exposed arms while men are in suits and ties. I recall finding this bizarre when there was a blizzard. Men were in sweaters and women were dressed like it was a heat wave.
Jacquie Carr 1 month ago
They have to show flesh to keep viewers interested, according to the men at the top of course
#36
The other day I realized no one has asked me, if I wanted kids, and it’s a disappointment if I don’t have any. Or told me my life isn't complete without kids. Or anything like that. But my sister, my female cousins and last few gfs have all heard it…. Why is my gf's life incomplete until she has kids.. but it doesn’t matter about my life?
Surly Scot 1 month ago (edited)
Because as women we're constantly reminded by everyone that our lives don't matter more than being spe.rm recepticles and human incubators, and that we'd better get the job going or we're failures as entities.
#37
Needing back- up from a man in a meeting to be taken seriously.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
As I’ve said before….I’ll say something ONCE. If you didn’t listen, any bad consequences are on you. 🤷🏻♀️
#38
People assume that my husband handles financial things. He doesn’t. I do the taxes. I read all legal paperwork for mortgages and house buying/selling. I pay the bills. And so forth. And yet, he is getting email reminders about our mortgage despite not having his info anywhere on the online account. Because he’s the guy and clearly must be the person handling it. Grr.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Who even thinks about which person in a couple does the taxes? Isn't it usually just the person with altitude?
#39
Academic publications under married names.
I hadn't even thought about this, but when a friend was doing his postdoc in astrophysics, he'd found some great papers by a woman, but it only spanned a few years. He wondered whether she'd left the field, or passed away. Later, he found out she'd actually continued to publish, but under her married name, so it seemed like someone else's research. Not only did her research lose continuity, which makes it harder for others to search for them, I can imagine all the opportunities she and others lose when they change their names and aren't known for their full body of work.
And no, you can't always choose under which name you publish. Example : in certain countries of citizenship, you automatically take the husband's name, which is the used for things like study or work visas, and that was far more common in the recent past.
Annik Perrot 1 month ago
In France you never "take" your husband's name. You can use it for commodity's sake, but on all official papers, your name is the one you were born with, assorted with "spouse xxx".
#40
I have watched my pretty wife smile her way out of three speeding tickets. Obviously, women have to put up with a million [bad] things men don’t, but … double standard!
#41
This post makes me feel better as I am overlooked and ignored all the time even when it is my business not my husband’s. I was returning something to a hardware store and the salesperson asks my husband if I plugged it in? He wasn’t kidding. I laughed and told him that I not only plugged it in, but I determined that I need a bigger model. But I wasn’t going to trade it in like I originally had thought, but now I decided I’m going to buy another one somewhere else. My husband looked at me on the way out said good for you, that was rude since the salesperson wasn’t joking..It happens all the time.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
Keep voiting with your feet and your pocketbook. I'd have told a manager, then written to corporate, and gone on social media unless a very specific apology was offered, plus a discount too. That's not bringing the Karen, it's simply expecting to be treated as a normal human being when you're returning a defective product. If those businesses go out of business, oh well. If manager don't reprimand and re-train sexist employees, they are undermining their own bottom line, so be it on their heads.
#42
Not being able to get a hysterectomy young, Pap smears and iuds with no pain management, hell- birth control in general being only the woman’s responsibility (generally).
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
A hysterectomy is major surgery, and I wouldn’t want it unless there was a serious health reason. A tubal ligation is just sterilization, and leaves the organs and hormones more “normal” than a hysterectomy would. A lot of sexist doctors make it difficult for women to get their tubes tied. Because then, of course, we lose our value as breeding stock. /s
#43
My neighbor’s wife.
No, she’s just your neighbor.
Lakelover25:
I always refer to “my neighbor’s husband” because I am friends with the wife.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
This just depends on what the actual sorry is. You describe characters by their relationship to the main subject of the story. I was speaking to my neighbor when his wife came outside etc. People don't assume gender when you say neighbor. Again, there's plenty of actual sexism, let's not waste time fighting injustice that hasn't been a. Issue in decades.
#44
When I cut off all my hair and other women at work are impressed my husband is cool with it.
HeavyMetalHeart 1 month ago
My female colleague asked if my partner was “ok with” me having my eyebrow pierced. Last time I checked, it was on my face, not his. (Not to mention, I had it when I met him!)
#45
I’m the handy one in the relationship. Oh, and the wife, to a husband, kinda helps the context! The car, the floor, the computer, I can fix that! I generally enjoy doing it and I get excited when we have to go to the hardware store or the auto parts store, especially if I need a new tool.
Anyway, we go to one of my favorite stores, and we go around and collect whatever I need. I usually bring the husband to help with heavy lifting, push around the cart while I grab things that he didn’t know existed until today. Then we get to the register and it’s time for small talk.
9/10 times the cashier looks right at my husband and asks “oh, dry wall repair?” “ABS sensor? Should be simple enough! You have a *thing husband doesn’t know what is* right?” Then I step in and say that I do have all the tools and parts now with this purchase, thanks! Or he looks at them in utter confusion and says he has no idea, ask her (me). Mostly they just quietly finish the transaction after that, but sometimes they look at us like we’re a couple of weirdos.
It’s really frustrating because I don’t really see being able to fix things as a woman/man thing at all. It’s just something I like to do and am good at. I was also raised in a “fix it” family, so I have a lot of experience. My husband was not. We’re working on his anxiety around trying to figure out how to fix things with YouTube and such, but I’ve realized over the years that he’s fully lacking in a knowledge base that I was just given throughout my younger years. I can’t teach him decades of repair knowledge, and the confidence that goes with it in the handful of years we’ve been married. It’s just how we were raised and nothing to do with being a man or woman.
Plus, I did learn most of what I know from my dad, or at least gain the confidence to build on what he taught me to do other things with a YouTube video and a prayer, and it feels hurtful towards that relationship in some way. Like he wasn’t supposed to teach me those things because I’m a woman, which is obviously preposterous, but still hurtful to me. I love that he sent me into the world being able to fix a leaky toilet, change my tires, hang drywall, whittle, and all sorts of things that I honestly took for granted for a long time.
rustyscate 1 month ago
Same I’m a plumber and I went to trade school for automotive my coworkers are cool but the clients and gcs can be super rude
#46
Being told to smile. Or in a board meeting being asked to take minutes, because the rest of the board is men.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
Being asked to do meeting notes infuriates me. For one thing, people talk so fast that it’s impossible to get it all down, so I have to pick and choose what gets written down. Then when I’ve done that, somebody always whines that I missed something. Take your OWN gòddamn meeting notes! I cannot read your mind and know what you think is important to write down. If you don’t like the way I do it, do it yourself!
#47
I’m a nanny and the amount of times I’ll say I’m currently watching little boys and people respond “Oh girls are so much more difficult, you’re lucky”.
First of all, no they aren’t. Second of all, that sounds like misogyny to me.
When they’re so little (I care for under 5 yr olds) gender doesn’t matter except for diaper changes and then potty training. People get it into their heads AND the kids heads that basically right from birth girls are difficult. Apparently little girls are more sassy, more emotional, stubborn, annoying, etc. Every child is different and people start blaming girls for having personalities before they even know their own name.
#48
This trend of rage bait where men are useless or not needed.
Also the “ real men” do X or don’t do Y
Men portrayed on shows as the inept or clueless husband.
Guess those aren’t so little.
Roxy222uk 1 month ago
The point of the inept or clueless husband is that he is still worth building a show around. His experiences are seen as interesting to follow. He is entitled to all the love and support he gets from his wife, no matter how exasperated he makes her. For the woman character to be in the programme she has to look good, be competent at everything, and endlessly tolerant and patient with the useless man, in fact she has to be in love with him. And she doesn’t have experiences or go on any kind of emotional journey, she’s just equipment for telling the man’s story. So don’t mistake this as being séxist against men. This is supportive of men’s right to exist, be considered worth listening to, to ‘get the girl’, and so on even if they are rubbish, lazy, greedy, etc.
#49
Most annoying is that women are just not taken that seriously. It's everywhere and all the time. People will only hear things and believe them if a man says it.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
Again, the first time this happens with someone is when you at least question it closely and directly. If it happens a second time, then it's a pattern, and that person can just be ignored, not interacted with, or just not talked to at all except for basic functional communication. If they're that sexist in the first place, they probably won't notice or care that you've withdrawn, and no loss to you at all.
#50
I once attended a speech by the late Admiral Grace Hopper, computer pioneer who actually coined the term “program bug” and wrote COBOL. She told us that sometimes when she’s on an elevator in uniform, people tell her what floor they want.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
If you stand next to the buttons. You push them doesn't matter if you're in uniform
#51
The assumption that either me or my partner has to be the “man” in the relationship. I know it happens with gay guys to an extent but I’ve never heard anyone ask a gay male couple which one is the woman. Maybe some gross top and bottom jokes but that’s a different problem. The idea that one person in a lesbian relationship has to be in some way male is so gross.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Never understood why people think there's a man in lesbian relationships. I'd be more surprised if there was.
#52
Once i began going with my husband to his doctors appointments i was astounded how much more respect he received from medical staff, how seriously his concerns were taken, they actually took some time to ask thorough questions, listen to his answers, believed him and ordered appropriate testing and medication. They took the time to look through medical history and family history and anything he was concerned about was investigated via testing or referral or both.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
And that's when you start speaking up and demanding the same respect, or reporting them and changing doctors. Being pro-active and knowing how to self-advocate is a skill everyone needs, but women most of all. Sad that we have to go this extra step, but this is how change happens, when more and more do it, demand better treatment, then vote with our feet and our money for better.
#53
How my husband could take my son out in dirty clothes with food on his face and people would gush because he is spending time with his own child.
If I did that, I would get [awful] comments from people almost immediately.
The bar is on the floor for men.
#54
As a man with some spicyness, I’m told I’m not supposed to react emotionally to situations. I feel like I’m looked down on by many for going to therapy. But I don’t think they would think the same of a woman with all the same situations.
#55
Men’s pants come in a plethora of lengths ie) 28,29,30,32,34,36 and women pants typically come in one or two lengths. Why can’t women have length choices?
#56
Books written by men who throw in a comment about women characters’ looks every time that person is mentioned. It might be positive or negative but every time, they have to mention her appeal or lack thereof. I have to think that is how those authors go through life, too.
Tea Drinker 1 month ago
And every woman is a "stunning" beauty or "breathtaking". I remember reading one (1) mystery/thriller in which the MFC was just normal. No "compensating" for her pudginess or plain looks with a brilliant mind. She was observant and persistent and won the day. And her bre*asts were never mentioned. I found myself surprised when I realized all this and that made me sad. I like character descriptions to help me visualize, but I'm so tired of exceptionally beautiful/endowed women being required.
#57
Recently a man came by our house to ask if he could get some fruit off our tree. I was sitting outside, and he walked up and said “Hi, could I talk to the man of the house”. His exact words. Apparently only the man of the house can make decisions regarding the trees in our front yard. 🤷🏻♀️.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
I've said, I'm the head of the household. Don't assume there's always a man. And I'd have said no anyway since he was being sexist. And stood up and stared at him til he walked away.
#58
Alexa, Siri, hell, even my robot vacuum defaults to female voice. It’s little, but annoying that assistants and cleaners are presumed female.
A big one is how doctors treat women compared to men; especially pain management.
#59
When males are referred to as men and females are referred to as girls.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
I tend to call them boys and children very pointedly. And then very pointedly refer to women as women. Bonus points if they actually get what's being done; to me it's a tst to see if they pick up on their own sexism.
#60
I work at a hospital. If I am with a male colleague (RN), people will call him Dr. , I’m a woman and very rarely get called Dr.
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 month ago (edited)
I always call a doctor, 'Doctor' in professional circumstances. Even my dentist (actually especially, because many don't understand that they're doctors too).
#61
Not little, but if I am making a large purchase and my husband is with me, the salesman directs his comments to my husband. I keep shopping.
#62
"Body count".
Used toward men it means one thing, used toward women another.
ALL women (and men) should refuse to call it a body count and should refuse to answer when asked what their body count is.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
This is just an incel thing, real adults don't talk like this. Don't f**k anyone who does, very easy.
#63
MANSPLAINING.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
I've found that if I say, "I know" more than twice, then I just walk away and go do something else. Really don't care if they perceive that as rude; what they're doing is rude and condescending anyway. And keep walking away every time. One day, it may dawn on them that mansplaining just doesn't do anyone any favors, no one likes it or them, and everyone avoids them when they start their sh*t.
#64
Assuming my husband will drive and I'll be the passenger because, well, he's male. Truth is, I do almost all the driving when we're together and frankly I'm better at it.
#65
It's interesting how crime statistics are always broken down by race, but never by gender. Especially when the subject of 'unfair' profiling comes up.
#66
When I say something and men get this dubious expression, clearly judging whether it is true, and deciding probably not. Even when there is no reason to doubt the statement. It's a power trip--they feel they get to decide whether to believe what I am saying.
Like, I had a contractor repairing my front door. I told him I was concerned about security because my house had been burgled some years earlier (as was one of my neighbor's houses, but I didn't tell him that). He got that judging expression, of "Yeah, right sure, another hysterical female." I filed a police report and an insurance claim, the whole shebang. But the more you say to back up a statement, the more dismissive these men are. They kind of chuckle inwardly as you flail to defend yourself. So this time I didn't go into any details, but why should he doubt me?
A similar sexist tactic is men taking control of the conversation by correcting you. You say something, then they take charge by saying something like "Did you really?" in a skeptical tone. They interrupt and start criticizing your pronunciation or whatever they can. And I am a well-educated person who works in publishing!
Quite a lot of sexism is conveyed by things like that, men making it hard for you to call them out on what they are doing.
#67
The way dads who are doing things with their child, or take care of them for a day, get compliments for that. It is so great, they do that...why? Moms do it all the time. A child has two parents.
Trashy Panda 1 month ago (edited)
I'm a man who spends so much time with my son and nobody's ever said a word about it.
#68
Pain. As a woman, if I'm in pain, I'm being dramatic or just don't want to work. Man has pain, it's very serious and he is moved to another duty, not given smack talk, excused to go to the doctor, etc.
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 month ago
In my experience (as a man) it's usually the opposite way around in reality!
#69
Pads and tampons and birth control not being FREE.
#70
When a woman says anything and the default stance is doubt, skepticism, or out right assuming that she’s lying while at the same time a man says anything and the default stance is he’s correct until proven otherwise.
#71
Pockets!!!! Women not having normal sized pockets or even a real pocket on jeans or skirts.
Interrupting or speaking over.
Taking up so much space.
Using subtle gendered language like calling a woman bossy but a man assertive.
Weaponized incompetence.
#72
I love sports. I know a lot about sports. A lot. Guys still feel the need to try to explain everything to me or challenge my knowledge.
#74
Putting the check in front of my male partner and not in the middle of the table.
#75
When you hold a position/higher position than a man, and people ONLY address the man as if you weren’t the one that contacted them to begin with. Then they see that man asking me questions, and STILL choose to address him.
Jacquie Carr 1 month ago
Tell the man, "If they keep talking only to you, please tell them that I'm the person to address"
#76
Taking a man's last name when you marry him.
Jan Rosier 1 month ago
Ok, but why? My parents married in 1963. Mom kept her last name, it was even no issue - have never even heard it happen.
#77
Men only listening to hear when you stop talking so they can complete their own thoughts. Especially in the corporate world. It looks polite from the outside, but when you know it's happening it's like a little tiny twist of an Itty bitty, annoying little knife.
#78
The constant portrayal of women as slags if they’ve had multiple partners. Silence when it comes to men’s body counts.
Jacquie Carr 1 month ago
I especially love the ones who call you a slag after you decline sleeping with them. I'm such a slag but I still wouldn't touch you with a bargepole, huh?
#79
Housework just being expected rather than appreciated. When men go out of their way to plan a date or do the most simple thing, it’s that they’re “doing so much” for us.
#80
Shoes. It is really all clothes, hair, make up but shoes are the worst. If a woman wears comfortable shoes she is seen as less of a woman and is often made fun of. Professionally women are expected to wear uncomfortable shoes but men can wear comfortable shoes all the time. And the idea of uncomfortable shoes is ridiculous for men.
Tea Drinker 1 month ago
I seem to remember reading that when women in the late '70s and early '80s started wearing tennis shoes to and from work (because they were more comfortable to walk in), assaults and r*pes decreased.
#82
When a woman is the boss: “she’s on a power trip.” When a man is the boss: “he’s a leader.”
ZorgtheAlien 1 month ago (edited)
I know a certain 'leader' who's definitely on a power trip right now.
#83
Women are the ones expected to get out the way on a footpath or in a hallway if a man and a woman are walking toward each other.
DeoManus Argentem 1 month ago
I feel this is the opposite - men are supposed to let women go first, open doors, carry things, etc. As a man I don't mind at all - might be cultural, I'm in the SE US.
#84
Using pet names for woman you don’t know.
A middle aged woman patient is called ‘dear’ or ‘sweetie’ or ‘hun’, a man ‘sir’. I work in healthcare, and I overhear my colleagues doing this with good intentions, but it drives me nuts.
If a stranger refers to me by a pet name I know immediately they view me beneath them, even subconsciously.
#85
When men say, “Some WOMAN pulled out in front of me." or "Some WOMAN was holding up the line." or whatever. They don’t even hear the disdain in their voices when they punch the word woman.
#87
That women are still expected to cook, clean, laundry, do 80% of the domestic labour by default even if they work longer hours or the same hours as their male partner. I fall into this….
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
But this is an easy fix, don't partner with someone who thinks this way.
#88
"Women's work"- after dinner all the men get up and go watch football while the women who cooked everything get to also clean up because apparently you have to have a VJJ to wash dishes, cook, change the sheets, do laundry, clean the floors, etc and for God's sake- clean the bathroom. Why does it not occur to men to clean the bathroom?
#89
This is an odd one when it comes to dating. Everyone talks about how women prefer tall men, and no one seems to talk about how many tall men prefer short women. I know this isn’t as important or controversial as other complaints, just a weird thing I noticed. I’m barely over 5’ and I’ve only even been hit on or flirted with by men well over 6’.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
I’m short, and I’ve had short men hit on me for the sole reason that I was shorter than they were. Some short men let that warp their personality, and become åssholes. I tend to prefer men who are not hugely taller than me in the first place; being with a giant is physically uncomfortable for me. But always go for their personality and the way they treat you over height or looks.
#90
Women getting a slap on the wrist when men get full sentences for the same crimes. Looking at you teachers.
J. Maxx 1 month ago
I was set on fire twice while in High school, by the same girl. The first time I let it slide, the second time I grabbed her and tossed her aside. The staff witnessed the entire thing. Even though they stated they saw her light me on fire, I was suspended for tossing her away from me. Also, I was s****************d and had s******y explicit photographs placed in my locker by upperclassmen. When I went to the assistant principal to complain, he told me that if I got caught with p**n again, I would be expelled.
#91
Pressure to look good n slim at all times, cost of make up and number of products ! Wandering eyes.
katiekat0214 1 month ago
Resist pressure, don't buy what you don't need and won't use, and men can take Jesus' advice and pluck their eyes out if they offend.
#92
My sister, who is a doctor, runs medical clinics in other states and flies to them three times a week. She has no problems working with male doctors but female airport staff think she is "acting male".
#93
When a man enters a room w men and women, he always shakes the men’s hand first or doesn’t shake to women’s hand at all.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Do they put their hand out and he ignores them? This guy sounds like an AH. But an anomaly. Both at work or socially the only time I've seen this was in weird covid times where no one knew what greeting to use.
What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Most of these are just bad partners, you have to scroll down pretty far for any actual society level issues.
Tobias Reaper 1 month ago
when say a female teacher sleeps with an underage student the headlines usually read teacher sleeps with student or similar but other way around it will read teacher rapes student. Like somehow its not as serious if a woman does it to a young boy
vinyl rebellion 1 month ago
You got it in one. Total double standards in the media
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Learner Panda 3 weeks ago
On a recent holiday in Spain, I drove the wrong way down a very short one way street. What made it hilarious, as opposed to worrying, was that I was driving a British car, right hand drive. The officer spoke exclusively to my husband, who was trying to explain that I was driving and he hadn't got the steering wheel.
breasy 1 month ago
Most of these are just recycled for points by people who most likely have never actually experienced the things they write about. As a result many are so out of date it's difficult to believe that anyone thinks it's still like that.
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago
Tell that to the women in the USA or in Afghanistan.
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Most of these are just bad partners, you have to scroll down pretty far for any actual society level issues.
Tobias Reaper 1 month ago
when say a female teacher sleeps with an underage student the headlines usually read teacher sleeps with student or similar but other way around it will read teacher rapes student. Like somehow its not as serious if a woman does it to a young boy
vinyl rebellion 1 month ago
You got it in one. Total double standards in the media
Load More Replies... Learner Panda 3 weeks ago
On a recent holiday in Spain, I drove the wrong way down a very short one way street. What made it hilarious, as opposed to worrying, was that I was driving a British car, right hand drive. The officer spoke exclusively to my husband, who was trying to explain that I was driving and he hadn't got the steering wheel.
breasy 1 month ago
Most of these are just recycled for points by people who most likely have never actually experienced the things they write about. As a result many are so out of date it's difficult to believe that anyone thinks it's still like that.
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago
Tell that to the women in the USA or in Afghanistan.
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