
“Find A Farm And Have A Better Life”: Woman Shocked After She Checked Husband’s Dashcam Footage
Trust is the basis for any healthy relationship, especially a partnership. Feeling secure with your significant other is very important if you want to build something that lasts. After all, you are putting your wellbeing into the hands of another person, so knowing that your heart is safe with them is crucial.
However, trust isn’t easy to earn. It requires honesty and vulnerability when it comes to sharing your life experiences. Respect and boundaries are also a big part of it.
The following story from the Am I the Jerk subreddit is complicated in terms of trust. On one hand, the wife was crossing a boundary by invading her husband’s privacy regarding the dashcam footage. On the other, what she discovered seems to be more problematic than that. Read it below and decide for yourself which one of them is the jerk.
When it comes to doing sneaky things, there’s one rule you have to follow: leave no evidence behind
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva (not the actual photo)
The man in the following story was up to no good but failed to delete the footage of it
Image credits: Artie Siegel (not the actual photo)
Image credits: EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lyingwifedog
The husband’s reaction to the situation seems unjustified. What he did is quite awful, so one would expect for him to immediately beg for forgiveness. Instead, he’s turning everything around and pointing the finger at his wife and daughter, which comes off as manipulative.
The fact that the wife was suspicious about her husband’s behavior also shows that the trust in the relationship was already shaky. After all, not everyone would dare to snoop around the partner’s private videos to find evidence of any wrongdoing.
Trust is hard to rebuild
While earning trust is already quite a feat, rebuilding it is an even bigger endeavor. It requires both parties to do a lot of emotional labor to get to a place where they both feel secure in each other’s company.
A study suggests that a successful repair of trust requires three elements from the offender:
- Recognizing the offense and providing a sincere apology that shows one understands what they did wrong.
- Assuring the importance of the relationship and promising to change.
- Honestly taking visible steps that show they are changing their behavior.
Forgiving is the hardest part
And while the transgressor does need to put a lot of effort in earning trust, the build of the work actually lays on the victim. They are the ones that go through the rollercoaster of emotions of anger, sadness, and disappointment and then have to turn it all around into understanding and faith.
If your partner has broken your trust in any way, here are the steps of how to manage it:
- Don’t fight your emotions—let yourself be angry. This will help you validate your own feelings.
- Have an open, in-depth conversation about the transgression. Getting the full story will help you get true clarity of the situation and the reasons behind it.
- Once you’ve decided to forgive, observe if the behavior of your partner changes. Are they more respectful? Are they more honest? Do they show understanding when it comes to your feelings?
- Continue to respect their boundaries. Don’t go secretly checking their phone when they’re not looking.
- Focus on the future but also remember that forgiveness is hard. There will be ups and downs and you should give yourself and your partner enough grace if you wish to overcome this.
Also, know that walking away is sometimes the best option. In this story, it seems that the partners aren’t willing to mend their relationship, and it’s not hard to understand where they are coming from.
He’s an abusive, gaslighting controlling piece of bug s**t. Get as far away as fast as you can!
Best description EVER !
😁
The actual scariest part of all of that is that hs jealous of his daughter's relationship *with a dog*. I hope they are safe, because jealousy is a significant predictor of domestic homicide.
That was one of my first thoughts, too! You are correct; and can you imagine when the girl starts dating?
Take him out of state, and throw a Frisbee into a field so that he can have a better life on a farm.
He sounds too stupid to chase a frisbee. He can’t even turn off his dashcam.
That's a good point.
That's not gaslighting, but otherwise I totally agree.
I was so angry after reading this I just threw it all out there 😂. He did try and turn it so that her checking the dashcam was the far greater crime, but maybe that qualifies more as manipulation. He’s still one of the lowest forms of rectal lint 😈
That poor doggie, I'm so glad she was chipped and was able to go home. What an awful man. Someone should take him out of state and abandon him.
Honestly this, pick him up after he's been drinking with his buddies, drop him off by the side of a road in the middle of nowhere and drive away, oh and get a divorce
oo, I like this one. I could never, ever forgive what he did. Thank goodness the dog was chipped! If your dog/cat isn't, do it now.
Some may hate me for this... That little pup was prey out there. I think he needs to have that same sense of danger. I say dress him up as a drag queen and plop his a*s gagged and tied in the reddest area of the southern usa wearing a Trump LOST hat. ( I feel I have to say I despise the violence transgender and drag queens are facing. - but if the hate has to be directed somewhere, this POS deserves it - the ladies and gentlemen who are really DQ and Trans do NOT)
I get what you are saying but I think there may be less controversial answers. My first thought was to leave him in hill country, ‘Deliverance’ style. My second is to leave him in hill country, ‘Deliverance’ style, but wrapped in bacon.
I’m not even a dog person and I know this is serial killer energy. Someone do something!
He’s an abusive, gaslighting controlling piece of bug s**t. Get as far away as fast as you can!
Best description EVER !
😁
The actual scariest part of all of that is that hs jealous of his daughter's relationship *with a dog*. I hope they are safe, because jealousy is a significant predictor of domestic homicide.
That was one of my first thoughts, too! You are correct; and can you imagine when the girl starts dating?
Take him out of state, and throw a Frisbee into a field so that he can have a better life on a farm.
He sounds too stupid to chase a frisbee. He can’t even turn off his dashcam.
That's a good point.
That's not gaslighting, but otherwise I totally agree.
I was so angry after reading this I just threw it all out there 😂. He did try and turn it so that her checking the dashcam was the far greater crime, but maybe that qualifies more as manipulation. He’s still one of the lowest forms of rectal lint 😈
That poor doggie, I'm so glad she was chipped and was able to go home. What an awful man. Someone should take him out of state and abandon him.
Honestly this, pick him up after he's been drinking with his buddies, drop him off by the side of a road in the middle of nowhere and drive away, oh and get a divorce
oo, I like this one. I could never, ever forgive what he did. Thank goodness the dog was chipped! If your dog/cat isn't, do it now.
Some may hate me for this... That little pup was prey out there. I think he needs to have that same sense of danger. I say dress him up as a drag queen and plop his a*s gagged and tied in the reddest area of the southern usa wearing a Trump LOST hat. ( I feel I have to say I despise the violence transgender and drag queens are facing. - but if the hate has to be directed somewhere, this POS deserves it - the ladies and gentlemen who are really DQ and Trans do NOT)
I get what you are saying but I think there may be less controversial answers. My first thought was to leave him in hill country, ‘Deliverance’ style. My second is to leave him in hill country, ‘Deliverance’ style, but wrapped in bacon.
I’m not even a dog person and I know this is serial killer energy. Someone do something!