33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working
Interview With Expert
Every day nearly 60,000 people nationwide undergo surgery under anesthesia. You’ve probably seen the hilarious effect of it with patients blurting out the most awkward things and later having no recollection of what they’ve said.
What if you played on that phenomenon and made your surgeon laugh out loud by saying something witty just before the anesthesia kicked in? A poster on Reddit asked this exact question and got some of the best suggestions that you can use the next time you go under.
More info: Reddit
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The nurse assisting with my vasectomy said, “I think I’m going to be sick” and ran out of the room. I looked at my doctor and said that’s not the usual reaction I get when I drop my pants.
It took him 10 minutes to compose himself.
Just before I went under for a colonoscopy I told the Doc, "Are you sure this is right? I just came in for a teeth cleaning." Without missing a beat he replied, "Don't worry, we can get there from here.".
Anesthesiologist: "OK, we're going to go to sleep now."
Me: "I think ONE of us should stay awake"... and I was out.
Since we’re talking about hilarious things to say before getting sedated, you should know that patients also say really funny things when under anesthesia. Bored Panda interviewed Dr. Anthony Youn, who is known as America's Holistic Plastic Surgeon, to learn about some of his experiences with such patients. He shared that: “This happens occasionally. I had one patient who just woke up after surgery and was quite groggy and said, ‘How does Dr. Youn have so much hair when he's so OLD?’ Now, she was in her 60s, so who's calling who old?”
He also added, “I had another patient say after surgery, ‘I didn't soil my pants, did I?’ She was worried she would have a bowel movement during surgery! I've had many patients wake up crying, but they had no idea what they were crying about! Just blubbering crying!”
I was being put under for a relatively minor operation on my foot as a teenager. I'm in bed in the prep room, already hooked up to an IV. The anesthesiologist comes in and sits down right next to the bed and leans in with his elbows on his knees as he talks to me about what the anesthesia was going to feel like.
All of a sudden, I am WOOZY. I looked down over the edge of the bed, and he's holding my IV tube and injecting a syringe into the port. He just went and did it, midsentence. I don't think he even looked away from me.
According to my mom, I swung my head up to look at him, said, "Ooohh, so you're a *sneaky* bastard," and then immediately went out.
I asked my surgical team if anyone needed anything while I was out.
I have seen a patient pull off a pretty good one.
"Wanna hear a joke? How do you keep an anesthetist in suspense?".
Most people who go under anesthesia know that it will make them feel loopy. But what does that actually mean? The sedatives that are used affect certain parts of the brain and their chemicals, which can alter your state of consciousness and, therefore, your behavior. For example, the inhalation of nitrous oxide (laughing gas) can block certain neurotransmitters that cause anxiety. It also leads to the release of norepinephrine, a brain chemical that can reduce your pain and discomfort.
In general, anesthesia can reduce anxiety and discomfort and make you feel more relaxed during the surgical process. Some sedatives can even have a longer effect, which is why patients are asked not to drive heavy machinery after the process, or told to bring someone along with them. It also explains why there are so many videos of people acting strangely after surgery.
I was brutally beaten the night before Thanksgiving by 3 guys with baseball bat while walking to the subway. I came to being rushed into to OR and saw the transfusion bracelets they put on you. I look up saw the bags and nurse rushing me into the OR and asked the nurses and doctors, "Do these things come in turkey and gravy flavor?" I immediately went into a coma for 3 days. I almost died with my last words being a Thanksgiving joke, lol.
I'm a man in his mid-50s with a belly. I told them, "If it's a choice between me and the baby... choose me.".
I was hospitalized and they were doing a colonoscopy to see if they could figure out what was wrong. Right before the anesthesia kicked in I asked the doctor "Aren't you supposed to buy me dinner first?" When I woke up he was there with my breakfast.
General anesthesia has changed the game for surgeries because it helps people stay in a relative state of bliss while they are operated on. But that’s only because we’ve come a long way from the sedatives of before. Before the medicines of today came into use, the best “pain-killer” solutions people had were biting down on a stick or taking a shot of whiskey.
In 1842, a man named Crawford Long administered the substance called ether to a man undergoing surgery for a tumor. He found that it helped alleviate the patient’s pain and he later published his discoveries for people to use. It’s funny to think that the brilliant minds behind anesthesia also indirectly helped create a funny genre of video.
I was getting the shock treatment for an irregular heartbeat, and after they gave me the shot, my doctor asked me some out of left field, stupid question. I didn’t answer the question, but said something to the effect of, “that sounds like a stupid question to distract me until the meds knock me out.” All the medical people in the room started laughing hysterically. Afterwards I found out that he uses that same question every time, and one of them had just asked him why he uses that same question before I was brought into the room. He said because it was a good question that makes people think and doing so distracts them until the meds take effect.
I asked the nurse prepping me for surgery if he had heard that diarrhea is hereditary as it runs through your jeans. He geeked out and asked if he could keep me awake long enough to tell it to the surgeons in the OR, which I did. I remember hearing them laugh as I counted down.
Apparently "don't worry I'm not embarrassed cause I'm a [adult movie] star"
I have no memory of saying this, but apparently I did right before I went out cold for my testicular torsion surgery
I was greeted with "good morning [adult movie] star!" when the doctor went rounds the next morning.
I was a teenager when I had the same thing and I asked my mom and sister if I would still be able to have kids
Dr. Anthony Youn, the surgeon we interviewed, also told us about a humorous encounter he had with a patient during surgery. He said, “most of the time before surgery they are pretty with it. They might get a little loopy, but that's it. I once had a patient who was in the inner circle with one of the rappers in the whole Tupac/Biggie scene, and once they were under the influence I asked who killed Tupac and Biggie and they told me!”
Something I actually said to the anaesthesiologist as he was putting me to sleep was “Mr. Wonka! It's amazing! Tomato soup, I can feel it running down my throat!” Passed out with the whole operating theatre laughing hysterically.
No joke, they told me to start counting down from 100 and I said “How can you tell when I’m…” I wanted to say unconscious, but I don’t remember getting to that word.
Before my vasectomy I told my doctor, “don’t go nuts down there”.
An interesting fact about sedatives from an anesthesiologist is that people who smoke often need extra anesthesia. A study found that women who smoked needed 33% more anesthesia during surgery than female non-smokers. This is because they have irritated airways and, as a result, need higher doses of pain medication to improve their tolerance to the breathing tubes.
Another thing about anesthesia is that it may take a little time to wear off with people even displaying the (hilarious) after-effects of it. Some folk experience nausea and vomiting after going under. But, luckily for them, research has found that smelling ginger or lavender essential oils for 5 minutes could lessen the severity of those symptoms. Even if that doesn’t work, these effects aren’t permanent and often wear off after a few hours at most.
My mom said she dated you in college and that you're my......
I had a colonoscopy and right when they began administering the sleepy meds I asked "how long will this take?" They said "it depends on how well you followed the prep schedule," meaning the liquid diet and laxatives to clean out the pipes the day before.
I look at them with a real confused look on my face and said "what prep?!" right before the lights went out.
I was about to have a bowel resection and told the surgeon that he only had my permission to take enough to make ONE bratwurst. I also told him that I'd deliberately let my 6-pack abs atrophy so it'd be a bit easier for him to cut through.
Anesthesia isn’t something to be fooled around with, but if you are going to be put under during a surgical procedure, you can make it so much more fun by trying out some of these interesting suggestions. Who knows, you might make your surgeon's day! Have you thought of something funny to say to your doctor before the sedatives kick in? Let us know in the comments.
This isn't the first time I've had a room full of people inside of me.
When the nurse asked me what op I was having (comon last min check question) I gestured over my shoulder at the ENT surgeon and said "a*****e over yonder is going to stick a dremel up my nose and evict both Phillis and a chunk of over growing cartliedge, but he's under strict instructions to not breach the brain barrier unless he can gaurentee he only removes the depressed braincells"
For context I was having sinus surgery both a mini FES and a pollop removal and my wife went to med school either the ENT surgeon..
Said ENT nearly bust a gut laughing and the poor nurse was so flustered and shocked at my answer apparently I went out like a light and they couldn't start operating for about 10 min cause Mat (ENT) couldn't stop giggling.
I knew exactly what surgery you were talking about from ,"going to stick a dremel up my nose and evict both Phillis and a chunk of over growing cartliedge." Silver tongued devil. :)
I was given propofol for anaesthesia last year & was joking with the anaesthesiologist about Micheal Jackson & just before I went under he's started singing Billie Jean to me.
I was given propofol for my colonoscopy last year, and MJ was the only thing I could think of when the anesthesiologist was going over it with me. I just wanted to know if he was more observant than Conrad Murray.
Just before I went to Mario Land from the pain meds after I shattered ankle, I asked the attending nurse to prom. I was 35 at the time.
Not quite the same but I had an interesting interaction with the nurse who wheeled me in for my colonoscopy. I was terrified to be anaesthetised and he said “don’t stress, Michael Jackson had this stuff for breakfast!”
Me: “Ummm, probably why Michael Jackson is dead.”.
I don’t know whether “this is what MJ had” is quite the flex some people think it is.. 😳
I was about to have a routine colonoscopy. They told me to count backwards from twenty. After a few seconds I was still awake. I looked at the surgeon and said don't touch my butt until I'm asleep or I will be embarrassed!! They laughed, and it was the last thing I remember until I woke up in recovery and my husband helping me dress to leave.
The anesthesia didn't work on my mom. She felt everything, but couldn't move or talk.
I swallowed a lot of gum as a kid, can you check on that for me?
I'm a redhead, so I always tell the anesthesiologist that I'm not a cheap date. This came after one told me that he nearly emptied his bag of meds to keep me under for the length of the surgery. I woke up still intubated and tried to pull the tube out by myself.
Not a red head, but my metabolism chucks propophol etc. like water. I always tell them that they will need to monitor me closely and increase the dosage and even more important: I am a fighter if I am under anesthesia. Nearly knocked my dentist out once. They never listen.
Just make sure I wake up looking like Chris Hemsworth, okay?
I asked the surgeon who was about to implant a spinal cord stimulator in me if they had WiFi in the OR. With a puzzled lock he asked why I was asking that. I said, “ In case you need to lookup something about the procedure “. His reply, “ Don’t worry about that, I helped develop the procedure “.
I find it kind of rude to say "In case you need to lookup something about the procedure" to a surgeon, but maybe that's just me
Years ago, before I went into operating room my doctor asked me to help prank his anesthesiologist friend. I was game so he asked me to say 'oh no, not you again'. Which I did, the look on his face priceless, went out to the laughter in the room.
I made the nurse laugh because i said the room and the clock on the wall reminded me of a SAW movie.
The 1 time I went under I asked the Dr if I was supposed to count back from 100 like I always saw in TV.
He said "it doesn't matter you'll be out before you get to 75"
"100 99 98 97 96....."
"Sir!sir!wake up it's time to get dressed"
I'm not sure if he thought it was funny but I did afterwards.
And the lottery numbers tonight are 25, 36....
I'm looking forward to having you inside me.
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As I was going under before my back surgery, I told the surgeon, "They should sell this s**t at Pink Floyd concerts."
As I was going under before my back surgery, I told the surgeon, "They should sell this s**t at Pink Floyd concerts."
