Don't know about you Pandas, but personally, I have dealt with many insults in my life—from being bullied about my haircut to being teased because people thought I was plain stupid. Of course, now I’ve gotten past that, and to be honest, I want to inspire other people to be able to do the same.

Therefore, I'd like to hear about the times you heard someone being teased or you were teased yourself and thought of the smartest thing to say. Share your stories down below!

#1

This didn't come from me, it was my little sister's story. We live in a Trailer park, very crucial to the story. Anyways He was bragging about how his shoes were $250 and talking crap about my little sister's clothes and shoes. She was NOT having it. She turns to him and says " if your shoes cost so much, then why are you living in a trailer? Shouldn't you be living in an actual house?" And the kid glares at her and starts picking on another kid... the kid kicked him in the balls.

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CATMONSTER2018
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHY DOESNT THIS HAVE MORE UPVOTES

eezycheezes101
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your sister is GREAT make sure 2 tell her that.

Troux
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's living in a trailer BECAUSE his shoes are $250.

Calvin Cozad
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn kid got what was coming to him

Billy The Kid
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

go there little sis! I dont think you will be hearing from him again. and well done to the other kid too.

Binxyminxem
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your sister has fantastic logic!

SADEY WHEELER
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's awesome shes got more guts than most people i know

RELATED:
    #2

    A college friend was super tall and she always got asked, “You’re tall! Do you play basketball?” Her response was, “You’re short! Do you play miniature golf?” 😂😂🤣🤣💀

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    Raine Soo
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one is great! Don't mind if I borrow it.

    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's perfect 👌 thanks 😊 My grandchildren are crazy tall and will definitely make good use of this one 😀

    #3

    Not My Quote, Its sorta a comeback I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed ~William Shakespear

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    Zuko
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *shakespear, not shakepear (sorry, i had to)

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    Blinding_Darkness
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was William Shakespeare. Unless you are referring to a man named William who shakes pears. Apparently he spelt his name many different ways coz he wasn't good at spelling. Idk for sure tho

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So a battle of wits is showing how smart you are. And saying someone is unarmed means they aren't smart.

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    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooooooooooooh! Stolen!!!

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    #4

    My friend has to deal with this spoiled girl at school who joined the fashion police in 4th grade and this girl goes out of her way to find my friend just so she can tell her that her hoodie doesn't match her hair or eyes and that it was very unflattering. My friend says " You know, ----, you wouldn't look too bad in glasses. I think you need some because you keep mistaking people for mirrors."

    Report

    Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually used this before! I thought I came up with this!!!!

    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "well pull your hoodie over your face"

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    #5

    I envy people who haven't met you

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    #6

    This was said by Alexander Hamilton to Thomas Jefferson: "There are approximately 1010300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly explain how much I want to hit you with a chair." Sadly wasn't in the musical lol

    Report

    Avery Jones
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s my favorite quote, guys!!!

    Anne Wood
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That has been my auto response on my email for years.

    Hermione Granger
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok this makes the musical like 10000000 x better just knowing that.

    Tye Dye Llama
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This would have made the cabinet battles SO much more entertaining (I mean, they already were, but still)

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    #7

    In elementary, this girl would look at my friends and I and roll her eyes, we were a grade higher than her, and a bit less mature, anywho, one day it just got too annoying. She rolls her eyes, and I said, you may find a brain back there you little shi*. I was deemed the best a**hole of the day, well, in her book.

    Report

    Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HOLY MOONS, I applaud you!!!! Seriously, this need to be higher!!!!! Oh my fricking moons!!

    Torchicachu
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    all of your comments like saying "holy moons" makes me clap every time

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    eezycheezes101
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG yess. *Makes a mental note* WILL use this one day.

    #8

    There was also this one classmate who was trying to be amusing during a group project, by gnawing at a computer. No idea why. But he'd been asked to stop multiple times until another kid in my group was like, "hey, can u help out?" So I was like, "Hey Name, If your so hungry then eat a knuckle sandwich. I'll make it for you myself."

    Report

    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did you downvote me? If I did anything then I apologise.

    Blinding_Darkness
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I upvoted idk why ppl r downvoting Ur post it's good, made me laugh :)

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    #9

    Do you realise that you're the human equivalent of a participation award?

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    #10

    In middle school there was this guy who was a certified b*tch. He always terribly made fun of me and my friends, for things like grades and being thin. After a month I had had enough. When he came around and did his usual thing. I said this time “Why do you think you are better than us?” He said “You are girls and not smart or pretty, I have a 94 grade point average, listen and weep”. I smiled and replied “I have a 97 grace point average. Maybe you should aspire to be like a girl.”

    Report

    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well said. I would love to of seen the look on his girly face.

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was also in my steam class and was talking about how stupid girls were, his project didn’t work and ours ran on solar power for 10 hours, he quit when the quarter ended. From then on it was an all girls class. 😂

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    Neha Thangavelu
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    #11

    So there was this one guy at my lunch table who was rambling on about how trump was the best and how Biden did such terrible things. One day my friend just turned to him and said “Bro how lonely is that single f*cking brain cell in your head?” That was the best moment of the week.

    Report

    Sarcastic Panda
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    whenever I say something dumb my bff says "who's using the family brain cell?" which is rude because my family are smart, its just me

    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hehehe also love ur profile pic! Did you draw it yourself?

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    Grace Galan
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not like he had any in the first place

    Tye Dye Llama
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaaa! Also, happy birthday Joe Biden! And to me! I literally just found out that we share a birthday!

    Carson R Ibach
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    f**k that guy the one saying trumps the best

    ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We all have our own opinions. To be honest, in my mind it doesn't really matter who likes who. My dad is a Trump supporter and my mom is a Biden supporter. I love them both because I don't care. Unlike some people, they just pay attention to who they like not what their personality is or traits...

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    #12

    Lady Astor: If was married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee. Winston Churchill: If I was married to you, I'd drink it.

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    kate h
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The greatest comeback of all time.

    IlovemydogShilo
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    According to a Hollywood legend there was a pointed verbal encounter between the movie siren Jean Harlow and the sharp-tongued English aristocrat Margot Asquith. When Harlow attended a party given by Asquith, the movie star presumptuously referred to the hostess by her first name, and she repeatedly mispronounced it as “Margott”, i.e., she pronounced a “t” at the end of the name. Eventually, Asquith responded with a squelcher: No, no, Jean. The ‘t’ is silent, as in Harlow.

    #13

    I found this on my brothers phone: Why play hard to get when you're already hard to want?

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    #14

    (didn't happen to me or anyone i know, i saw it on the internet somewhere:) some racist old lady told a pair of Korean men to speak English, and without missing a beat one of them said "OOOO i want a nice cup of TEA look at me i'm ENGLISH i want to eat PLAIN TOAST" i doubt it actually happened, but it's still funny

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    HOT CHOCOLATE <3
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    isk why i read it in an indian accent

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    #15

    Whoever told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice

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    #16

    If someone ever says "f*ck you" to me, I like to respond with "f*ck me yourself, you coward."

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    meowgie catster
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    works even better for "go f**k yourself"

    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if someone upsets me i always say" i would tell you to go and f**k yourself but your p***k is probably not long enough"!

    IlovemydogShilo
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last time someone said that to me I just said "I know that's what your boyfriend wants to do especially if you're all else he has".

    lizzy
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did this to a school student that said F*ck you while I was waiting for the bus. Where did you get this from to btw. I am pretty shore I read this in a book but I cant remember which one.

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    idek lol i have a friend who said it in like fifth grade and ive said it ever since

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    #17

    It was me, I was arguing with this asshole and I said, “I’d slap you, but I don’t want to get arrested for animal abuse.”

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    Siddy Das
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'd burn you, but my mom says I can't burn trash"

    #18

    We were playing DnD, and we came across a place called the Mere of Dead Men. The DM told us that it would be perilous trying to get through, as many men had died in it. The only girl in our group yelled, "I AM NO MAN!" Not sure if it counts as a comeback but it sure was funny.

    Report

    KombatBunni
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One for us girls :) I hope she kicked a$$

    Calvin Cozad
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then she has no need to worry as she is no man

    Owen Salmon2028
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i had an idea it could be also call the wetlands of lost lives

    #19

    You look like a before picture

    Report

    Delancey
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no don't that would physically hurt the person you say that to

    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    its good but their comeback could be "yeah but this after picture is a lot better"

    #20

    if people say your weird say: i'm not weird;i just fall outside your exceptional narrow view of the world

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    Idk Katniss Potter
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When people call we weird this is my comeback: Thank you. Because me, and all my friends, take weird as a compliment.

    aestheticaly_angelic
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    theres this phrase that my mom says whenever i say weird..."weird? i was once weird. i raised koalas in a small farm in idaho. i sat on a high stool and fed the salami. i told my mom, i dont like pastrami. it makes me feel weird. weird? i was once weird.." anyways i dont think those r the exact words but theres also one for another word that i forgot :/

    Kadi
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If this was Pinterest I would pin it.

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    #21

    Someone once told me nobody would want to have sex with me because I was a feminist and called them out on their misogyny. Joke's on you, I'm asexual.

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    K.
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Intelligent feminists are sexy as hell regardless of gender or sex. Someone who points out social inequalities and injustices makes me go weak in the knees and fangirl.

    #22

    Got in an argument with this really dumb kid in my class. I got fed up with her stupidity and said "Excuse me- Is your @$$ jealous of the crap coming out of your mouth?" She then proceeded to roll her eyes, but didn't say anything else.

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    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i will have to use this one on my boss when he gives one of his lectures

    ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why doesn't this have more upvotes?!?! Also... Pink sus ;)

    #23

    this girl in my old class was just saying a lot of rude things about me and it was getting annoying so I interrupted her and said I'm sorry if I wanted a bitch, I would have gotten a dog. that shut her up for the rest of the year.

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    CATMONSTER2018
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    #24

    Once talking about an ex friend who was a major douche. Told my other friend "Ya know, I'd call him a pig, but that'd be insulting to pig-kind. Because not even an animal who rolls around in a mixture of their own shit and mud would want to be anything like him." Sorry to those of you who like pigs, don't kill me please! 😅

    Report

    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's their owners you're "insulting"... deservedly so. Pigs only roll in muck if they're trapped in too small of a sty that isn't kept up by lazy owners. They have an excellent sense of smell (truffle hunters) & prefer clean mud to cool off with as they don't sweat. But when you have no other options...

    #25

    -Your opinion is so invalid that even Blurryface doesn’t care what you think (don’t know who first said this but I love it) -We’re Homo sapiens not hetero sapiens (in response to homophobic comments) -Steve Jobs would make a better president than Donald Trump, but that’s comparing apples to oranges

    Report

    Blinding_Darkness
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg I LOVE twenty one pilots, at the moment I like tear in my heart. I need to use the blurryface comeback 😀

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same, they’re my favorite band. You should listen to their album Regional at Best, though you can only get it on YouTube and Deezer because it was discontinued, it has their best songs in my opinion.

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    Yes, I’m a Bookworm
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love all of these and am saving them for later use

    #26

    a friend told me about this one, it was a group of first graders insulting each other, then one said "well, your not a nice person!" which earned a collective "oooh," from the group around them. oh, the innocence of first graders.

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    AnInrovert
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My best friend was like this until like, high school. My friends and I would giggle in our hands during our fights because it was so funny and weird. I remember she once said we were the ‘great granny activity type’, and she once said ‘now you burn’! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂

    ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just wait 'til they hit middle school ;p XD

    #27

    It's not mine but I like it:"Are you really stupid, or are you just pretending?"

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    Emilingo
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just pretending. Then I wait to the climax to blow their minds.

    Emilingo
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Although their minds often aren't blown. Because they don't understand.

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    #28

    Mom vs Sister Sister: Your mom is stupid Mom: Well your mom is ugly and stupid. Sister: You are my mom Mom: Utter Realization..... Mom: To Che

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    #29

    Just this week my friend told this one guy who kept looking at us like we were a disease and was body shaming us that “I would say your life is a joke but jokes have meaning.” That shut him up quick

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    #30

    This one's a weird one, but we're not allowed to swear at school. So in one Spanish lesson, can't remember the rule, but it went something like this: Words that are feminine and plural end in "as". So I called my mate (jokingly, we are always insulting each other) feminine plural, coz I wasn't allowed to say ass. Lol now the entire year group are calling each other feminine plural, the teachers have no idea what it means🤣😂🤣😂

    Report

    #31

    My brothers were fighting once and my mom pulled the classic ẗreat others like you want to be treated" so the older brother told her that the younger brother treats him like shit so he's just returning the favor. She had no argument for that.

    Report

    Arctic Fox Lover
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg, I always say that whenever I'm being annoying with my sister! XD

    Calvin Cozad
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was at this moment the little brother realized oh I f****d up

    ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ¡Hombre! ¡Eso fue increible! Quiero decir que no te equivocas ... Ojalá hubiera pensado en esto en la escuela cuando los maestros nos dijeron que hiciéramos eso ... * inserta el emoji facepalm *

    #32

    This kid in my class was being a jerk to me, so I was all like, "Keep it up if you want a papaya shoved up your nose... Your nostrils are so colossal, it just might fit"

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    Cassizu
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Classic RainWing insult.... I often pull the “ungrateful lizard” on people

    Yes, I’m a Bookworm
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My favourite comeback/insult “Go suck a lime”

    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ay wait I read ur bio-u like Wings of Fire too?!

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    IlovemydogShilo
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is like my dad's favourite insult if he came across someone with a big mouth. "She/he could eat a whole Kit Kat sideways."

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    #33

    I'd call you a dumbass, but that would be rude to ass's

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    #34

    Once had a friend of mine that got fed up with someone else asserting themselves into his affairs. So he played the long game... Told this guy he had a great idea for a financial endeavor that he thought this other guy would be an amazing fit to manage. The dude bought it, hook, line and sinker. So my buddy took this guy with him to the bank (there's one in the complex we work in) and they both sat down and applied for a small business loan. In from of the clerk and everyone else, when asked "Will it be both of you applying for this loan?" my friend replied "Nope, just him. I figured I would help him out starting a small business so he could mind his own instead of mine."

    Report

    Arctic Fox Lover
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Went through all that just to say those words XD

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    spite-train is strong with the group of people I work with. We get along really well with each other, but we don't like it when lines are crossed, haha

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    #35

    (That 70s show!) Laurie: You better watch your back Jackie: Really? Because you should stop spending so much time on yours. Kelso: BURN

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    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love that show!!! I was born in the 60's and lived it. You could have a whole series of articles listing all of their hilarious burns.

    #36

    Sorry for so much text. One of my friends saw a comeback online and used it on a very annoying girl who kept on calling him ugly. He said, "Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside." A roast that I have said ( you might have heard of this before) "I would prefer a battle of wits but it appears you are unarmed." Sorry for so much text.

    Report

    Owen Salmon2028
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ah i see your a man of cultre as well part of the cat order i am the leader you have goten permoted

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    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    like it. Thumbs up "Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside."

    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great 👍 comebacks, never heard that makeup one before. But no need to apologize 2x for "so much text", it just makes more text. Just "heard" 2nd one at #6, it's Shakespeare's.

    #37

    I was wearing cat-ear headphones on the bus once. Some girl got all snarky about it. Her: Ugh, gosh darn anime people. Me: I— you’re literally wearing a naruto shirt It was infuriating. Apparently, she didn’t know it was anime

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    Raven
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BRUH HOW DO YOU THINK NARUTO IS NOT ANIME AND HOW DO CAT EARS SYMBOLIZE ANIME LIKE WTF

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was probably thinking of Tokyo Mew and she also probably thought that all anime was the naught brand of anime

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    Owen Salmon2028
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THAT IS NOT OKIE DOKIE WITH ME if i now anything SHE NEEDS A SLAP across THE FACE THATS WUT

    IlovemydogShilo
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I commented to a guy in a bar once that I loved Kurt Cobain's music. He asked me who Kurt Cobain was. For once I was speechless, especially as the man was wearing a Nirvana T.shirt.

    Jackson Allinder
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He died before I was born, but I love all his music!!! I am 14 and currently listening to a playlist of just NIrvana and Johnny Cash (Weird Combo ik).

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    #38

    Eating dinner with my family my dad was teasing my mum about her past boyfriends and asked her "what happened to the short ugly one?" and without missing a beat I responded "oh, she married that one".

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    #39

    So last night at work I had a migraine and diarrhea of the mouth. You know those days. Me (a female) and 4 guy co-worker friends of mine were hanging out and this car goes tearing out of the parking lot : Guy one: Oh yea you're cool Guy Two: Sounds like my lawn mower (all laugh) Me: (without thinking) Sounds like a tiny dick. All lost it and started cracking up. Also no offense to Mustang owners. I don't even mind a loud muffler as long as it' a muscle sound not an import sound on a muscle car.

    Report

    Teresa Taylor
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is SUCH a woman thing to say. I have said (and heard other women say) similar words in similar situations. I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of my male friends say that, though. 😂😂

    Teresa Taylor
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is usually followed by “constipation of the brain”

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    #40

    this isn't really a comeback, but i love it I had to deal with a really mean girl in school. She went out of her way to make fun of my rapping skills. One day she said that I'm not a rapper so stop. I looked at my BFF and she started to beat-box. I then said, " Talk to the hand cause the face ain't listenin' I really don't care so stop on pissin' Do u really ur the boss of me? oh wow Ur just jealous cause u don't have the know how *bell rings* Oh did u hear that its time for class But before u go, F*ck of my ass!"

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    Andrea Serrano Morales
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    bff always there to support u, tell them theyre amazing for beatboxing outta no where

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    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just hypothetically, would anybody be more or less impressed if i was female?

    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No! You’re amazing no matter what you look like or whatever, gender discrimination is the worst. You are strong and, might I add, very cool for coming up with this on the spot. ;)

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    AnInrovert
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did anyone else sing this because they thought it sounded good?

    Anonymous Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me. My mind even had a little background beatboxer.

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    //Cassizu//
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I, too, enjoy rapping... can you rap heavydirtysoul? The beginning is so difficult and I can’t do it yet lol

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    #41

    once there was a girl who hated me and my friends she was telling me about how i dress like a 4 year old and i said "well at least i don't dress like a pros*itute but i guess you got it from your mom." i was in the 3rd grade.

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    #42

    Once, playing DnD, one of the players casted "Shocking Grasp", one of the spells they had cast multiple times. I replied.. "How shocking." Left my character to 3 hp from pun damage.

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    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THey really are. Also, we were in a tough battle and I'ma wizard.

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    Infinite Dragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was in an compain with a girl who always faked her rolls. She had only played once before so she didn't really know what dice to roll for what spell. the DM told her off and she never came back....

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Faking rolls is silly! Take the real roll (and whatever modifier) and it'll add spice to the story!! :D

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    #43

    I heard this one the other day at the mall a girl was apparently talking to a now ex-bf and after he begged her to take him back she said “ Honey I don’t know what your thinking but this isn’t Toy Story 3 I’m not giving my toys to the less fortunate it, your just dirty and used, I’m throwing you in the trash” then she walked off like the queen she was.

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    #44

    did you break a mirror today? You just made me blind with disgust

    Report

    IlovemydogShilo
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A girl at school made fun of me because I was having a bad hair day. I just told her to keep away from mirrors if she didn't want 7 years bad luck. By the time she'd figured out what I meant I'd walked away.

    #45

    I was in a school bathroom when a girl was doing her makeup in the mirror to stall going to class, and i said, "we are supposed to be in class not doing makeup" "she responded with, " Hey, at least cover up that disgusting face of yours before going out" and I said " isnt that what you're doing?"

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    Raven
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well ur at fault for calling her out just mind ur own business

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you are probably right i should have been minding my own business, but this happened and you can't change the past, we are best friends now anyways.

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    #46

    Well I just had a great comeback or just general statement to some rude comments regarding the Trans Woman’s article here on boredpanda. There were people saying how she wasn’t a woman and that she isn’t valid and here was my response: I understand that everyone has a right to their own opinion but when your opinion is as valid as the s**t that comes out of your ass then I think maybe you should reevaluate your so called opinion. This woman is VALID!! Idc what anyone else says she is a woman and she is amazing and quite f*****g frankly she is hot as s**t so with that being said if you have nothing nice to say don’t f*****g comment!!!!!!! #MICDROP

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    ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh. Wait a second... she is hot as sh*t? does that mean...-? oop. dang, I didn't know someone could look THAT bad.... How rude...

    #47

    " My father will hear about this" Draco Malfoy

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    #48

    Ran into an ex at a night club he was being all creepyq. My friend and I were leaving to go to another club and he grabbed my hand and said "What are you doing later tonight?". My response was "Not you!", and walked out. 20 years ago and it still feels good.

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    #49

    I was having a usually sibling fight when my older sister decided to try out the "you're adopted" scandal followed by "whoops i spilled the beans". To which I laughed and said, "Thank God, for a second i was scared that i was related to you", her face after that is something i will never forget.

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    #50

    not mine but from an eps. of Buffy which could be adapted for individual situations .... just replace slayer & tailor to your own. "Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron."

    Report

    Lucia Coleman
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    Edit: dont know how THAT got there (sry sry sry sry)

    #51

    (Don't know if this counts but) 8th Grade. Kid comes up to me and starts talkin' smack about how my friends and I are slow and that he could beat us in any race or event, how we are "slower than turtles because those f*ckers are slow as hell". This is track season mind you so we had plenty of opportunities to prove him wrong... Right before a 200-meter dash and he is in the lineup with myself and 2 other of the supposed slow people, the gun goes off, we run it all out. My friends and I got top 3 and the guy was last. Just to really rub it in we say, "Turtles are slow? I think the animal you are looking for is the tortoise, we were the hare, just not cocky and a lying piece of sh*t.

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    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thumbs up. never speak until its over.

    Anne Wood
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was this kid at my school. He was a bloody jerk, everyone hated him but he was fast af. One time I said ill race you across the field winner gets bragging rights, he agreed. knowing he would win. I procided to kick him in the knee and sprint off.

    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a reason they call it "Talking Trash".

    #52

    I blush really easy and I'm really white so it shows up really bright. I was in HS and this guy kept joking around to make me blush. I was and to an extent still back a comebacks so I went to one of the girls I was friends with and asked for help. She was a genius. 1st class the next week: Him - Flirty in appropriate sexual comment. Me - Wanna Screw? Him - Wh...what?! Half of the class - What?! (Friend silently dying in her seat) Him - What did you just say?! Me - I asked I'd you wanna Screw? Insert him blushing like mad looking dumbstruck, half the class going, half the class still not believing they heard right. Me - What's wrong with you? Do you want the screw or not? *I hold up a 2 inch screw I had gotten from my shop class.* The teacher had to leave the room she was laughing so hard. The entire highschool found out ( it was a K-12 school so very small highschool). I gave her credit then, I still give her credit today. He left me alone after that but it was AWESOME! Only one I have besides that was when one of my cousins came over while I was visiting my Aunt. Haven't seen him in ages and he looked as me and goes 'Hey cuz, whaddya know?'. I looked at him and deadpanned 'I know a lot you're gonna hafta narrow that down a bit'. I've never seen that man speechless before.

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    Exotic Panda
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you really are roadkill the brave! you have earned/ deserve your bp name!

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Geeze I forgot to look this over before I posted it. Sorry for the following: still back a comebacks. That was supposed to be Bad At Comebacks. Also I'd you wanna. That was supposed to be do you wanna.

    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was the height of comedy. Just wow!

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    #53

    hmmmm........ I would say the best come back i've heard was in Amoung us. Two people where fighting and one of them said ¨ And thats why ur dad left you for me love ¨ They got banned after saying that though because the owner of the game left and the other person they was fighting with was the owner now. I had a good laugh though

    Report

    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Among****************************************

    Arctic Fox Lover
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, someone in Among Us got angry at me for being a good imposter, and in the next round just randomly said "You're so stupid, you're just jealous that your man left you for me." Like, that has nothing to do with the game, also I've been single forever cuz I'm a kid what-

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somebody once got mad at me for killing them and said they would find my house

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    Christian Claydon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We should play Among Us with blue sometime :D

    Lucia Coleman
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AGHHHHHHHH CATSSSSS AAND AMOONG USSS

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    #54

    After hitting someone on the arm with a book, "OMG, I am so sorry, my book slipped, I was aiming for your head, silly me." Next time,"OOPS! I thought I had a hammer, turns out it was just a book, at least I got the head right? My aim is terrible, all I see is a butt."

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    Baby Panda
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    whenever someone says "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"...throw a dictionary at them

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    #55

    When my boyfriend's mum tutted at something he'd done, so my boyfriend said to his dog, "You're my friend, aren't you?" Boyfriend's mum immediately came back with, "yeah, but he eats poo."

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    IlovemydogShilo
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would just say "well that's the difference between you and the dog, s**t goes INTO his mouth."

    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good comeback! But for those who don't have a lot of animal experience, it's not normal behavior & needs to be dealt with. And (most) bones are dangerous for dogs. Same goes for cats/milk & rodents/cheese. TV & movies have taught us some bad stuff. They use rats, spiders & snakes because they're easy to handle less likely to bite. A Real Horror Movie... HAMSTERS, GERBILS & PARROTS!!!

    #56

    Seen on a t-shirt --- Girl speaking to a super obnoxious pest of a guy who wouldn't take a polite no for an answer : "If your dick and your brain were as large as your mouth, then.... maybe."

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    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG!!! 😅🤣😂 If Only I'd Known This One When I Was Younger And Always Being Harassed!!!

    #57

    This is an example of a terrible comeback. This teacher for band told this girl on french horn that she was too loud. Her comeback was... "At least I don't look like you." We were all like girl what the heck?

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    #58

    I heard this story but I was not in any way shape or form involved in it This teacher was talking about whales in class and said that it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human whole and this girl said "What about Jonah?" the teacher said "Well we can't exactly ask him now can we," and the girl replied when I get to heaven, I'll ask him," and the teacher said "what if he went to hell?" and the girl said, "Well then you can ask him."

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    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch! Good one. Did anyone else see that video of the two kayakers that were almost swallowed last week? It's crazy 😜 looking.

    #59

    One time my sister and I were fighting and she threw in a little, "You're Adopted!" and I immediately responded to that with "Well At Least They Wanted Me, But They're Stuck With You Now!"

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    #60

    'You're just a child!' 'Well, you're just a teenager.' Thank you A:TLA 😌

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    HissyFitzz
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    atla is such a great show! :333

    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ya. I remember the scene for this quote ~so funny

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    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ay my favorite ATLA quote is “My first girlfriend turned into the moon.” “That’s rough, buddy.”

    Siddy Das
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i thought that was in avatar too

    Blinding_Darkness
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yeah I love avatar it's soo good. I also recommend BNA to those who haven't watched it, it's really good (hence my profile pic)

    Raven
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    boringgggg

    ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhm. Rude much? If you don't have anything nice to say THEN don't comment. Imagine how you would feel if someone said that to you. Think about what you say BEFORE you say it.

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    #61

    Once, a colleague of mine, who was also a young mum, discovered she was a little younger than me (like 2 years). She proceeded to tease me about it, and tell me how, at her age, she had more experience than me professionally. My comeback: "Well at least when I was your age, I wasn't changing diapers!"

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    Raven
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thats kinda mean....

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    #62

    'If I wanted shit from you I'd squeeze your head.'

    A%20Mormon%20Friend Report

    #63

    I made one and its like: Sorry, *digs hand in pocket* it seems I ran out of fucks to give about this conversation but I might have a couple of pennies in my bag you can use to save up to buy a new personality because I doubt anybody would like to exchange yours.

    Report

    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if im messing around with someone and they want to insult me(messing around) I would say to them" oh yeah i was walking into work and i found this in the street" i would then search all my pockets and then pull out the middle finger.

    #64

    In my twenties I would frequent a local college bar often and would often see the same people. One evening I overhear a "bro" call me a slut..welp, I had to just tell him "I'm a bitch, not a slut because a slut sleeps with everyone. A bitch sleeps with everyone but you". I haven't been able to live that shining moment down. My friends still retell the story.

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    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    😲OOH MY WORD! You hit the nail on the head with that one.

    #65

    well i just broke up with someone he was like have a nice life im like as long as i never see or hear from you again i will after that he said something and i kept on making him sound stupid then i blocked him

    Report

    #66

    this isn't really a comeback, but i love it I had to deal with a really mean girl in school. She went out of her way to make fun of my rapping skills. One day she said that I'm not a rapper so stop. I looked at my BFF and she started to beat-box. I then said, " Talk to the hand cause the face ain't listenin' I really don't care so stop on pissin' Do u really think ur the boss of me? oh wow Ur just jealous cause u don't have the know how *bell rings* Oh did u hear that its time for class But before u go, F*ck of my ass!

    Report

    #67

    "Thou loggerheaded long-tongued hedge-pig!" -Shakespeare

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    Saphira
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love using old timey insults on people

    Emilingo
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my favorite shakespeare quote--"Mother, he hast killed me." (Macbeth)

    Bleeding-Angel
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once called someone a lily-livered egg sucker because they said something very rude. They were speechless.

    Anne Wood
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friedns and I used to write down all theese ridiculous statements in spanish. Whenever someone was being annoying we would say 'i reccomend avoiding the radioactive bears' in spanish. Cracked up laughing and ran off.

    #68

    When my aunt died at 40 i didn't went to school because it was awfull. I was back to school the saturday of her ceremony (i live in France, we had saturday school at morning, and my mum who was a teacher thought that it was better to return to scool that day because it was sport and technology). The technology teacher teased me the entire class(you lost your boyfriend it is cool...don't be sad....). I was brave, then he sayed "you are going to do an intership to be a hairdresser?" because i was pulling aside the mermaid hair of my friend..... "NO SIR, I WILL DO A TECHNOLOGY INTERNSHIP TO BECOME A TOTAL IDIOT" . I don't have an once of regreat in myself, it was well deserved.

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    averageperson
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry about your aunt but that comeback is AWESOME!!!

    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Key phrase... i live in France. Explains the "confusing" wording and idioms. They're probably self-translating as they write. Update: I just found out that this isn't the cool, new, little American (USA as opposed to Canada, Central or South American) website that I was led to believe. So I'm sorry if I stuck my stupid american foot in my mouth. Please forgive me.

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes thank you. I think that this is understandable if you try to understand^^ "my teacher was bullying me because i looked like a mess when my aunt died, the day of the funeral. Then i roasted him with words because it was not ok to make fun of my misery.

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    Grace Galan
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    #69

    I posted a nice photo of my mom from when she was a model in her younger days. Some mouth breather commented "I just ****** *** to this". I responded: "Thank you for taking 30 seconds out of your day."

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    Blinding_Darkness
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is ****** ***? Sorry if it's obvious, either I'm having a mega brain fart or I actually don't know

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a crude euphemism for masturbated. Wasn't sure if I could post the actual words here. It rhymes with hacked off.

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    #70

    Ran into an ex at a night club he was being all creepyq. My friend and I were leaving to go to another club and he grabbed my hand and said "What are you doing later tonight?". My response was "Not you!", and walked out.

    Report

    #71

    My friend and I were in town years ago, when she saw a girl who lived on her street. This girl was always with a group of friends and always took great pleasure of taking anybody down with her mean comments and relished the pleasure of having her entourage to back her up. She was also one of these girls who always had a boyfriend. My friend had never had one at this stage (we were all teenagers at the time) and this girl for no reason said to my friend "aw still not got a boyfriend? Well I guess you better get used to it, after all they're too busy going out with me." My friend looked crestfallen so I just said so loudly so every one could hear, "Of course all boys will go out with her. You see, most boys love a bargain and keeping things simple, so rather than go out with someone classy and and worth so much more like you, they go out with someone cheap and easy like her." Even the girl's little gang laughed as her face went bright red. Best of all it made my friend smile.

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    #72

    I said something body-shaming and about how weird I was and my best friend said “ people that are different or just better than everyone else.” - Scarlett 2020 😂

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    Blinding_Darkness
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't mind insults, as long as there is no body-shaming. Body-shaming can be reeeaaaalyyyy bad. Trust me. I speak from experience.

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ago Omg noooooo I was body shaming myself not someone else I would never NEVER bully anyone.

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    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg noooooo I was body shaming myself not someone else I would never NEVER bully anyone.

    #73

    I know my rights and you should know them too.

    Report

    #74

    So there was this guy that had the locker next to mine but he had a mirror in his locker and always checked it between classes, so I asked him about it and he said in a mean way, " To see how I look!" and I said If you wanna see yourself just lift up a horse's tail! His face was so red! LOL XD

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    Raven
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    welll why'd you ask its not your business

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was a frenemy and he knew i was messing with him

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    #75

    Doing karaoke with some girls from school in eighth grade and this girl sings the song 'Hello'. Afterwards says: "Wow I didn't know I knew all the right words!" So badly wanted to say, "Too bad you didn't know the notes."

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    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good for you, holding your tongue. For most, it's so hard to get up in front of people, period. Especially teens, you could have given her a life-long complex. I still won't do it 40yrs after kids teased me because my voice sounded weird (from nerves) when I got tricked into addressing the entire school at an assembly.

    #76

    Does a physical response count? Well my BFF who live in Texas is a third-degree black belt. This guy was making fun of her for how thin she was. She proceeded to warn him about not making fun of people. He continued. She broke his leg.

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    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oooffff. Maybe he will be more careful on what he is saying.

    Exotic Panda
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IT. COUNTS. remind me not to get on your BFFS bad side

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is amazing. The only thing is we both have a not so good view of guys from past experience. So if u r not a guy ur good. If I r be careful what u say.

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    aestheticaly_angelic
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *claps in taekwondo* (i actually do taekwondo im a blue belt)

    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, but I'm confused. Isn't what she did actually against the basic rules of karate? The practitioners I've known said it's for self defense against bodily harm or protecting others, not for teasing (which I don't approve of BTW). At least that's what I was told while being taught. Update: Yes, but to break his leg will probably give him trouble his whole life. That's why us Grandparents know when it's going to rain. Knocking him on his bum a few times would've worked is what I was taught. Their egos are a "weakness" of jerks.

    #77

    Ok well it's not a comeback, but my friend asked me if I wanted a sucker and I said "No, I don't wanna sucker I wanna suck you." I thought I said it in my head...

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    Arctic Fox Lover
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    D: that's messed up. That's really, really messed up.

    semelina pitrone
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, but the truth is often messed up. And hard to admit when people say that it's messed up.

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    #78

    a simple and straight forward fuck off

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    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yep. straight forward. not got time for other words

    #79

    Oh we were doing Shakespeare in class, our teacher made a PowerPoint all about Shakespearean insults (they're all really good) one of them was HAGSEED. It was so funny. I guess it's because witches were a big thing around then, and were often called hags. I guess the seed means child, so 'child of a witch' maybe? HAGSEED sounds funny ho, I use it wayy too much. Lol 🤣

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    Lucia Coleman
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    once i was on a bike ride and i heard the happy birthday song. THEN A ICE-CREAM TRUCK PLAYING THE HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG STARTS CHASING ME AT FULL SPEED AND I ZOOM AWAY AS FAST AS I CAN, SCREAMING THE WHOLE WAY!

    #80

    Did you know that when you go outside it’s considered littering? -me

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    #81

    An a**hole in my class made fun of me for being short. I'm taller than him, and I replied accordingly. He never talked to me again.

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    Exotic Panda
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wow. he be stupid (the guy that called u short not u)

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    #82

    “I do desire we may be better strangers.” - Shakespeare

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    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YES! I love Shakespeare's comebacks. "Polite" put downs, then the double take from the deserving "victim"

    #83

    Once insulted a friend as a joke, and he responded with; "Oh Yeah? Well, you're so unlikeable that NationWide isn't on your side." Kudos to that guy.

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    #84

    But, did I ask?

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    #85

    All throughout Elementary School this kid called me toaster (Literally just cuz he didn't know my name eventually my dad scared the sh*t outta him tho and he stopped but it was still a joke between us) So one day He goes "Sup' Toaster" and me knowing he probably had a crush on me or something cuz thats how middle school boys act, said "Oh Hey Toaster Pastry" And he looked at me and goes "Don't those go inside-" And I just stood there watching as his face got super red and he just kinda walked away. we were still friends tho. Later he even admitted that he probably would have had a crush on me if my dad hadn't scared him so bad. Which i'm glad he didnt like me. Since I couldn't like him.

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    Lucia Coleman
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    there was once this kid in kindegarten that threw out f´s, mf´s, sh´s and much more and he made fun of me all day. one day when he was insulting my friends i was like *qazoonba and he got so confused he stopped. i did it again a week later and it worked again. so guys, its that simple. *a random thing i thought of

    #86

    Whenever someone starts complaining about something stupid, I say, “here’s the problem, it’s not my problem”.

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    #87

    Not so exciting but: My brother casually talking and saying something is awful. Me: Your awful We do this all the time, I just casually roast him while he is talking to me. Not good roasts mind you.

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    #88

    Had a person go on an angry tirade at me. Just said, "Do you feel better now?" Smiled kindly and walked away.

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    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to go on a course how to 'deal with aggressive behavior' My answer to the trainer was " A cup of tea or a baseball bat" i can sat the silliest things sometimes!

    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    More upvotes plz! I have stolen this

    Raven
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    boringgggggg

    ツ_Itz_Your_Girl_ツ
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Again, Raven if you don't have anything nice to say THE don't comment. Imagine how you would feel. >:\

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    #89

    Not mine, but a quote from a book: "If you thought I was an a**hole at 5 years old, think of what a fantastic b**ch I am now." Also, not sure if it counts as a comeback, but still.

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    Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mermaids and dragons?? That sound suspiciously close to me... I LIVE FOR MERMAIDS. AND DRAGONS. SERIOUSLY.

    #90

    Some asked why I didn't like there sex. I said "Who wants to date you?" They had no reply. #Mr.lonely

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    #91

    There are 10, 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 particles in the universe that we can observe... Your momma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd!

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    semelina pitrone
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nerds will rule the world someday. It's them that invented the phone that your life revolves around.

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    #92

    I was admin of my college whatsapp group and like any local/national leader, me and my fellow admins were supported and sleazed a lot. There were times, people randomly added me into a group so they could curse me. The reason for that was my anti sleazing/abusing code, so anyone who abused in group,i will temporarily kick them out. They could ask for an invite again in a week or so.But usually they will dm me with all their abuses, so i banned them permanently from my account.So there was this newbie who joined the group and started using Fs, Ns and MFs. I asked him to stop. He was like "Ke kar lega" or what can you do? My co admin replied.. "He will do that thing after which you will dm him with abusive rubbish, and he will block you with a laughing emoji" i.e For this stupid shit, he will be temporarily kicked, but he will backfire and get permanently banned. He shut up and never used these words again in course of 3 years.

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    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i play clash of clans and i had a noob join. he started giving abuse to one of my member so i kicked him. Then i preceded to follow him to any other clan he joined and and gave all the leaders a heads up what he was like. i got him kicked from about 6 different clans. I think he gave up in the end and switched off.

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bullying sucks, So does the bully. But you need to have guts to make him suck.

    #93

    One more from my whatsapp group. Apparently *i will f*** your mom* or i did it, is a very common abuse here. But it is very abrasive as well. So one day, these two guys were sqabbling i will... Your mom, i will...your sister. My coadmin got the report, and before kicking them out said, "ask your grandmother who your grandpa was?" We still laugh at this one, even today though that admin was kicked by teachers himself later on.

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    #94

    One girl tells me: "You're so fat you don't even need to wear belts." Lift my shirt up enough for her to see I am wearing a belt. "You're not wearing a belt." I don't know why she thought weight had anything to do with belts though.

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    Billy The Kid
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    some people can be right horrible

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she was a bit of a bully, but I stuck around her because she had no friends. She never apologized, but stopped being mean.

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    #95

    When someone’s excuse is that someone else told them to do something “(Name) can go snort a bucket of worms for all I care” Also any other WoF comeback or insult, like “go suck a lime”

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    Neha Thangavelu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wings of Fire, the first books I ever read and enjoyed

    #96

    Hi King Leonidas here. Back in the day this stroppy bloke popped by saying something about ‘If you don’t surrender, yadda yadda yadda’. So, I just said ‘IF!’. Still makes me chuckle every time. Oh, I also kicked that bloke down a flipping deep well.

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    #97

    when people call me motherf**ker my response is "yep your right i am. as i do have kids so i must be"

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    #98

    Freind: "That's such an old roast!" Me: "Well I cant belive you still get roasted by that since you consider it as a "roast""

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    #99

    To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep that could outsmart you. I've worn dresses that have higher IQ's than you.

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    #100

    So my pfp on on of my social medias is an angry emoji😡😡and one of my friend was like, raven, no offense but when i look at ur pfp it makes me think ur mad ALL of the time.' so i said: 'well ur pfp is a picture of you so i guess that ugliness is permanent'.

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    #101

    I'm watching "What's Up, Doc?" starring Barbara Streisand... B.S. (seductively): "Has anyone ever told you that you are very, very handsome?" Jerk: "Well, actually, no." B.S. (w/attitude): "And they never will."

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    #102

    Well, first of all, the worst comeback EVER is killing 'them' with kindness. "I couldn't be happier right now. For the first time in my life, a girl told me that she loves me." Someone replies with " Aren't moms great?"... I'm just like daaaannnnng ROTFLMAO. Someone says "When I die, I want my epitaph to read: "Mistakes were made" " Someone replies with " Wasn't that already on your birth certificate?"... Okay i got a couple more... "Maybe it's not about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over and creating something new..." Someone replies with " That's why you have a little brother" and last but not least " Single (noun) A man who makes jokes about women in kitchens" reply-"Stupid (adjective) Women who think single is a noun." Okay sorry I have one more... " This song does things to me that my girlfriend can't do." "that's because this song is real, while your girlfriend isn't."

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    Joseph Rychetsky
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are good! I wish I had another account to upvote this again

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aw thanks! That IS the nicest thing ANYONE has said to me. Thank you So much! They aren't mine. I got it for its self Bored Panda; https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-comebacks/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

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    Exotic Panda
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    boom! i upvoted these are hilarious, if used in the right situation!

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    #103

    literally everything said on twitter that has been featured in a bored panda article.

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    #104

    Several years ago i met an American family visiting Brugges (Belgium) and we had a little talk. On a moment the son of the American family said: without us Americans we would all speak german in Europe (funny, because i am actually German but live in Belgium). And my wife replied, as kind as she can be: without us Europeans, Asians and Africans there would not be any Americans.

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    #105

    This was kind of a double punch in the face to me. "No one like me" -Me "That is the most true thing I have ever heard you say" -Kid sitting next to me.

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    #106

    I was going into a local village post office/shop and there were several boys standing outside, being loud and obnoxious and making comments to older folks going in. They were young 12-14, seemed harmless, but some of the older folks passing seemed nervous. After thinking quickly, I approached the shop and the most vocal boys started making loud comments at me. I look at him and said "Oh dear, have you gone off your meds?" He said "What! What do you mean meds." I said " ’Your medication’, nothing to be ashamed of lots of people your age need to take medication to control themselves." I looked at his friends and told them "to take him home as him mom needed to give him more medication now." His friends started laughing hysterically. The boys kept insisting he didn't take any medication. I said “Yes dear, whatever you say but you may need to go home and take more now." I smiled at him and went into the shop. That ended the adult-baiting for the day and everyone got a laugh, even the boy I talked to was laughing when I left the shop.

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    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great Job! You defused the bullying (especially of the elderly) with humor & saved the day.

    #107

    So onetime my sister and I were arguing. She decided to say, well your adopted, trying to be mean. My response was, well at least they wanted me.

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    semelina pitrone
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    #108

    A few years ago, I moved from South America to the Netherlands, and although I love this country and people are simply amazing; sometimes I could get ‘jokes’ about cultural differences. Usually, Dutch people have sandwiches for lunch, which I found nice and practical. However, in my country, we typically eat a warm meal. During my first week at the office, I decided to bring some food from my country. While I was warming up my food, an ex-colleague who wanted to be ‘funny’ commented: What’s that? Is that from your country? It looks like dog food. And I replied: Well, it looks like that cause I prepared it with your local ingredients. Although I’m not extremely proud of my reaction, he never commented back.

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    Tammy Rawdon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well. he asked for it so don't feel badly. He was rude.

    #109

    Well once there was this girl who thought she was better than everybody. Wrote a poem about depression. I wish I'd said "Thanks now let me rewrite it legibly then you can see what happiness looks like."

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    Zophra
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It helps to comment or post and then never look back. I did once and was amazed at some of the nastiness on a pretty mild point. Upvote for you and have a lovely day!

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    #110

    My brothers and sisters and I were sitting around bullshitting and throwing out insults with each other, one brother made a joke about my sister selling herself on the street corner. My other brother said that because of her age she would have to have a half price sale. Then I said "How do you split a quarter in half?" and if looks could kill, this would be a memorial to me.

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    #111

    "Are you just talking to your reflection or....?" Mine, in response to insult "Haha, that's funny! I was going to say the same thing about you!" A movie, I guess it doesn't count but I thought it was a good one.

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    #112

    So one time I was in debate, I was on the cat team (no offense dog lovers ) then I said "sometimes you misunderstand cats" then the dog team said, "That's cause they are hard to read, and therefore, dogs are better than cats." Then my friend said, "No that's just cause you are stupid."

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    #113

    One time this super annoying guy in my class LEGIT ASKED ME, "Is there such a thing as 0.1???" So my comeback was, "Yes, and there's also such a thing as stupid people, and I'm looking at one right now. Everyone started laughing and basically treating me like a savage queen the rest of the day. It was EPIC

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    #114

    so, I said something to my little sister and she responded, "I know you are but what am I?" I said back to her, "bad at comebacks." not the best one ever but I'm proud of it.

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    #115

    This isn’t really a come back but it’s funny A guy I hated told me this. Him:Look knows ur keyboard... it says u and I together Me: underneath it says jk He got the line from a popular meme, unlucky for him, I had seen the meme also, 😂

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    #116

    Someone told me that I was ugly but I told her back that I was not a mirror that shut her up for the rest of the school year

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    #117

    We were driving with my dad and he had to merge with traffic really quick (it wasn’t his fault it’s just how the freeway was built). He kind of cuts this lady off and she drove past us and gave my dad the finger. He just smiled and waved as we drove off laughing. FYI — she was driving a little car and we were in a Ford F-250. It just made it funnier.

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    #118

    A friend was being mean, and he said what he though and how important that was.. I kept quiet till he finished,.. and then told him ""Thinking does not look good on you, please dont do that again...and i walked away

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    #119

    Anytime Zendaya disses me

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    #120

    To your question.. "I am not a panda.. I am a BEAR! ". (Add lazy panda to hulk level panda animation.)

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    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Question was addressed to "bored, lazy, cute and cuddly pandas. " So comeback is, "I am not a Panda, I am a BEAR!"