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#1
I regret not telling my brother I loved him before he died. He was using drugs and was supposed to be going for counseling the next day when he came home I could tell he was messed up so I was angry with him. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me he loved me anyway and went to his room. That was the last time I saw him and I said nothing. We found him dead the next morning. The lesson here is never miss an opportunity to tell your loved ones how you feel.
Final score:
33points
Susan Abbott 3 years ago
omg this is so sad 😪😫😮😓😔😔😔😕😕☹🙁😖😞😟😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😦😦😳💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Robin Roper 3 years ago
Needs to forgive himself/herself. Drug users/abusers will make you crazy - the lying, stealing, broken promises are maddening. I'm sure the OP expressed his/her love in many ways, and it was met with more hurt and pain. Sadly, drug abuse causes others to turn off their heart in order to protect themselves.
Michelle Smith 3 years ago
My youngest sister was an alcoholic and drug addict. She was 10 years younger than me. We did not have a close relationship but I loved her. When I had children I did not spend time with her or take my girls around her. I wish I had let them be near her on days she wasn’t high or drunk. She was a sweet, good person with an addiction and disease.
Jane Cortez 3 years ago
Am so sorry beyond words! The night before my Grandfather died he asked me if I would go with him to Hudson’s Bay in Yorkdale mall the next day. I said no, which was completely uncharacteristic- we had fun together, he was such a thinker, such a gentle soul, I loved spending time with him. He was my best friend. There was this heaviness during dinner and when I walked him to his car, the melancholy/idk how to describe it, was so heavy. The next day when I woke up, couldn’t get out of bed, lay in bed in a depressed stupor. At around 4:45/5:00 pm, I called him, getting his voicemail. Crying I left a message saying, ‘Grampa, where are you? I’m worried. I miss you, I love you.’ The time that I called was the time that he died, the paramedics were called, ( he had a heart attack and struck the car behind him in the parking lot). At that time they briefly revived him and then he died. I wish I saved him. Every. Day. 25 years later I still cry because I miss him and my Nana so much
Jane Cortez 3 years ago
Sorry, edit…I think of him every day. All of the things he taught me, respect for nature, reverence really, how he saw life. As more time passes I see how remarkable he was as a person, have become more conscious of how I could be a better person, trying to love the world because one day I will be gone too. So regretful for so many things, realizing so much around us is just construct, acquire, acquire, then release and into the beyond away from this reality. Death is so hard to comprehend! The lakeside home he built up north has been sold, the house razed/erased, a McMansion Viceroy in its place. They only live on through me, otherwise it’s as if they were never here. Like one day when I die the same thing too. Then one day no one will be able to remember us, it will be as though we never existed. He always said, ‘Carpedium,’ Seize the Day….
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*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
This is why I make my goodbyes nice and full of love towards those who are close to me. I do it because for all I know it could be the last time I see them. (Sorry it is rushed, my phone is at 4% 😵)
RELATED:
#2
I wish I spent more time with my dog and played with him more before he died
Final score:
20points
Markus It/Its 3 years ago
This with my cat. He was so young and healthy but he had a reaction to his vaccines (they think, as yet unconfirmed) and died that day. His sister has always been clingy and I'm not sure how she'll cope now he's gone </3
That nerd Zoe ️🇺🇦️ (Submission author) 3 years ago
Ours was sudden as well... He died of a seizure, he seemed fine all day. We think it was a brain tumor. He was 2 and seemed perfectly fine all day... I'm grateful I didn't have to see him pass away. I'm sorry for your loss :(
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Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Dogs adore kids. I'm sure that just as you were, you were the light of that dog's life. He would want you to know how much he enjoyed knowing you.
#3
I regret that I wasn't as good of a student as I could've been. I skipped classes way too often.
Final score:
15points
Miguel justino C 3 years ago
It’s cool man, life evolves and it was part of your evolution. If your thinking about it you’re growing as a person!
Ashley Schriber 3 years ago
If it's any consolation, I was a good student and I didn't amount to anything, anyways.
#4
I was an exchange student in 1988 in Germany (I'm American). My host family gave me the choice for a weekend trip to either Paris or the Berlin Wall. I was 18 and madly in love with a German boy. Duh. I chose Paris. The wall fell the next year. I've always felt stupid for having missed that historical site. Plus, my boyfriend and I had a horrible fight and broke up in The City of "Love," so Paris was just a bad choice over all! LOL
Final score:
14points
Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
Ironically... I'm about to see that boyfriend and his wife and two kids, next month! We managed to stay friendly. It's been a loooonnnnng time!!!
1.21Gigawatts?! 3 years ago
On the bright side it gave old Soviet countries like Ukraine the freedom of independence. But I’m sorry you didn’t get to see it before it fell
Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
Oh, it was a VERY GOOD THING!!! I was just bummed that I didn't see it... as evil as it was. It was history. But I too, rejoiced as it came down!! ❤️
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Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
Have you been to Berlin since? I know it's not the same, but they kept some parts of the wall as monuments all over the place, and they offer all sorts of tours dealing with the original sites of the wall. It's very interesting and impressive.
Kristin Ingersoll (Submission author) 3 years ago
Nope. Never made it. It's on my list! I'd love to take my 18-year-old self someday! :)
Load More Replies... #5
I didn't take enough time after a burnout. Burned out again in weeks after returning to work, fell into depression, incapacitated for a year, three day work week for another year, two years of therapy... This was six years ago, and I don't think I'll ever fully recover. My brain is scarred for life.
Final score:
13points
Who Panda 420 3 years ago
I had this issue too. I would get burned out and need medication and as soon as I got my meds my family would pressure me back into work. A lot of people don't realize that it can take months or even years to get on the right medicine regiment. Now I have anxiety so bad I can barely leave the house but I'm working on it. I blame a lot of that for being forced out into the work when I just wasn't ready yet.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I've been there, though the pressure was from bureaucracy who pay unemployment benefits. Thankfully the last time I found a really good psychologist, and the right work at the right time and things are now going really well.
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Faramir10 3 years ago
Mental health days are so important. There's nothing wrong with taking one ever now and then. I got fired from a job that I had been told how great everything was going (including my work). A week later the company lowered the boom. I was so upset that I left town without telling anybody and went to a favorite place of mine. Two or three days later I decided to call my mom and let her know where I was in case of an emergency. Instead of sympathizing like I thought she would, she started screaming at me to get back to town and start job hunting. That was the last thing I needed. I hung up the phone and stayed there for a few more days. After several days of pampering myself I was able to go back to my town and start the job hunt. Side note - A few months later, this company went bankrupt, but I didn't have to go through that since was gone already.
1ch0 3 years ago
I can totally understand that. I cant even imagine if you live in the US. I live in germany and I had 2010 a breakdown and went to therapy. Was on sickleave months.. In germany that is not a problem really as you get 70% from the old pay by healthinsurance by law. That takes a lot of pressure away when you dont have to care how to pay the bills and your apartment in such a situation.
#6
Coming off my meds too soon against medical advice. I had to increase the dose because ot went wrong and now the side effects are increased. I regret not listening.
Final score:
12points
Steve Barnett 3 years ago
I tried coming off anti-depressants (20+ years). Cold turkey. After only a few days I was an absolute f ucking mess. I now stick to what I've been prescribed.
Auntriarch 3 years ago
Coming up to 19 years. I don't see me ever coming off them.
Load More Replies... #7
i wish i had lost the weight i gained from the beginning, now im overweight and its really hard to lose weight again. but im alright ig, as long as i support myself. also the thing that says "girls support girls" has helped me over the years. GIRLS SUPPORT GIRLS! 🤝💖
Final score:
12points
#8
My college offered an intensive Japanese language program over the summer. 6 hours of credit, 6 weeks, the first 3 in school, the last 3 in Japan. $3000. I had the $$$, but didn’t do it because I had a part-time job that paid all of $3.50 an hour. STUPID of me! When my daughter was thinking about study abroad, I WAS ALL FOR it for her.
Final score:
12points
SheamusFan1987 3 years ago (edited)
I'm taking up the language again next month after a 1/2 year hiatus. In hindsight, I probably should've continued with my initial class but didn't want to feel like the guy who flunked the test. A good point to note is that a few good bros of mine took up the language 10-15 years ago and only now am I catching up because I felt it wasn't too interesting back then. Moral of the story: As long as you still draw breath, it's never too late for anything :-)
#9
taking a year our to travel after school. I went straight to uni and regret it so much.
Final score:
11points
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
I have to agree with this one. I'd also say not utilizing the study abroad options.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I felt the same, but then I got to take some time out to travel after my sister finished school and we had a great trip. It would have been nice to spend longer away, but if I had I wouldn't have had the savings to pay for my new car outright :)
albernistuff 4sale 3 years ago
Or longer. Started college at 25. Two different (short) careers after HS. I was in a much better focused head space with a certainty of what I wanted to pursue. The bonus was not being intimidated by professors; they couldn't BS me.
#10
Meet my daughter. Her mother cheated on me (but didn't have penetrative intercourse) and we broke up. A few weeks later she worked out she was pregnant. She wanted to stay with the new guy (he was rich) and had her mum (a lawyer) draw up some papers absolving me of all responsibility as the father. No childcare, no visitations, no nothing! The child would not know the identity of their father until they were 18 and only if they asked. I was 22 at the time so still fairly dumb. I signed and left them to it. I didn't even know what gender the baby was. Last year I bumped into an old friend who see's my ex on occasion as she works for a supplier her business uses. Apparently, my ex talks about her DAUGHTER (Fecking hell, I have a daughter!!!) a lot and about all her talents. I became intrigued because she seemed the have the same skills and hobbies that I had at that age. I found out that she was performing in a show, and by chance I was going to be in the right area at the right time. I decided not to go because if I ran into my ex I wouldn't have a valid reason for being there. Earlier this year a friend, from my performing arts days, posted a photo on their socials, of the cast of her new show and I saw my own eyes looking back at me! I checked the tagged names and saw my Ex's maiden name. I new it was my daughter! I checked out her Facebook, caught up on the last few years of he life. Tapped on my ex's name, and scrolled down to catch up with the rest. I saw my daughter grow up in one day. Every few weeks I found myself going back to her Facebook to see what she'd been up to. One week she she posted that she was looking forward to going to the county show, which I usually show a few of my donkeys at. I had the perfect excuse! I could "bump" into her and my ex and just... see what happens. My Wife gave me the green light but also gave me realistic expectations and rules. My wife was by my side the whole way. I thought about it and came to the conclusion that, after all this time, there would not be any benefit in meeting her. Her "father" seems like a great guy, he clearly looks after her and loves her as his own. Besides, what can I give her other than a complication? 2 weeks ago she her prom. She looked stunning in her dress! Her date... Well I looked at his face for a while. I decided that he looks like a nice kid because he reminded me of Matt from We rate dogs on Twitter. I'll probably still keep an eye on her, although I probably shouldn't.
Final score:
11points
censorshipsucks 3 years ago (edited)
Nah I think you should introduce yourself. Even if it's a teachable moment.
#11
Caring what other people do with their lives. Took me long time to learn to support people's choices and be the biggest fan of them regardless if their views agree with mine or not. This goes for religion, education, addiction, quality of life, etc. Nowadays I ask myself does it affect me, or why am I against it. If I can't answer it then it's not my business. When a friend went through abuse and stayed with him, another transitioned into a man. I don't understand these choice, I asked questions, and I learned not to put my issues on them, and make sure they have me when they need, no judgment, no lecturing just supportive shoulder. Who am I to dictate their one life they have?!
Final score:
10points
Susan Abbott 3 years ago
i suffered from comparing myself to others too, lead me to an inferiority complex & had to go to therapy. i was always quiet and never spoke up thinking "nah, they would wanna listen to my stupid and silly opinion". im glad im over that now thanks to my friends and family
#12
I regret not killing the man whom bashed and abused myself and my mother
Final score:
10points
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
I'm so sorry, Taya. I've been on the receiving end of abuse, and I understand the rage. You did right, though. If you'd killed him, you'd probably be in jail now. He's not worth it. You deserve to have a great life. Achieving that will be a way to avenge yourself.
asexualotl (she/her) 3 years ago
i'm so sorry. to both you and taya. sending you both so much love and i hope that you can each find yourselves in better situations soon.
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Taya Adams (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thank you everyone, I am living my best life and his ended by his own hands
#13
Biggest mistake i ever made was letting my health and physical fitness go in my early 20's.... one of those things that you don't realise what you had until its gone. 25 years later - and i've tried dozens of times to address the weight and associated health issues that have been caused - with varying short term success but little long term success. Even if i do make it on my current attempt - i lost 25+ years of "quality of life" that i can never get back. If your young and fit currently and reading this.... just dont do it. Sure, go get drunk with your mates and have weekends away where you eat bbq for every meal.... but as soon as you notice your metabolism slow down and the scales start to creep up.... put a plan in place immediately... dont wait... dont significantly impact the rest of your life for something that is - unlike a number of posts here - something you can do something about.
Final score:
10points
#14
I regret not taking my older brother up on more of his offers to watch a movie together or play video games with him in the evenings when we'd both gotten home from work. He passed away suddenly over 5 years ago and I still feel guilty everyday for not stopping and taking the time to make more memories with him when I still had the chance.
Final score:
10points
Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
Talk to him; tell him these things. It will help you feel better. You don't have to feel guilty. He understood.
#15
My biggest regret was not keeping my 10 year old daughter and my 13 year old son home on April 30th, 1993. I really wanted to keep them home because my ex had constantly canceled on them or was a no show. This time he showed. And on the way to his place a drunk driver t-boned their vehicle and my daughter was killed. I cannot forgive myself for not keeping them home. For sure I didn't know that she was going to be killed that night however I live with that every day.
Final score:
10points
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
Please please talk to a grief counselor. It was NOT your fault. Maybe getting help will let you come to some peace. Please allow yourself to get comfort.
CherylLynn (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thank you for caring. I spent many years in grief counseling. I forgave myself in a way because I had no idea he was going to be killed that night. Easier said than done though. One cannot simply stop being a mother. I'm just very grateful the DD didn't kill my son as well. I also know that my daughter did not suffer and I know I will see her again. These three things bring me great comfort.
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BadCat 3 years ago
This is definitely not your fault, not your exes fault. It's the fault of the drunkard. Big hugs.
CherylLynn (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thank you for your comfort. xo
Load More Replies... #16
Not speaking my mind and becoming a pushover with my family. One day my opinions will be known
Final score:
9points
Hey! 3 years ago
I hope you still have a chance to do it. My family still think I'm 8. I'm almost 60. I know nothing - even though I have multiple diplomas and certificates. Everything I say is not true. But they don't even check the facts I'm telling them. For ex. I'm legally blind (yeah sure) and I can't see 20/20 (of course you do!) but I have the minimum requirement for driving (it's 20/20!!! Nope it's 20/50). It's tiring. I decided not to visit anymore. I live 6 hours away from everyone. COVID helped out too. Except I had to go for my mother's funerals.
#17
When I was a kid in middle school, my teacher, Mrs. P gave me an extra homework math assignment. When I got home and opened my book bag, the assignment was gone. I know I had it in my book bag but, it was just gone. On the way to school the next morning, my childhood bully, Michael K. got my attention. I turned around and saw that he was holding the homework assignment. I was excited and thought I could do it on the way to school. I asked Michael to give it to me and he responded by tearing the paper with his teeth and then opening the van window and letting the paper go outside. The son of a b*tch then had a smug smile on his face. Even though he was probably stronger then me and could have beaten me, I regret not punching that a**hole in either his nose or his mouth. Anything to knock the smugness out of him.
Final score:
8points
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
Isn’t it amazing the things that we remember- & that haunt us? The pain from being bullied seems to be lifelong. I hope you can look at this as him being a messed- up kid… and try to forgive that little boy.
Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
Not worth it. I'm glad you didn't hit him. It would have affected you more than him.
#18
I regret many things in my life… Started smoking at a young age, still smoke today. Doing drugs, partying and leading a reckless lifestyle. Seeking attention from men that only wanted one thing…and thinking it was “normal” behavior. Not applying myself in school and further my education. I told myself I wasn’t good enough. Caring about what other people think of me, wanting, needing, yearning for love and attention - very self destructive.
Final score:
8points
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
All these things are probably a consequence of how you grew up and that's absolutely not your fault! If you didn't get the support you deserved as a kid (which I'm guessing because these sound like typical coping strategies), how were you supposed to learn to take care of yourself? ❤ Big hug for you (if you want)!
LaurA Struthers 3 years ago
I could have written this myself. I've got suspected BPD and resonate greatly with this
#19
Applying for that scholarship that I was overqualified for because “I didn’t feel like it”. If I applied and got the scholarship, 90% of my student debt wouldn’t exist
Final score:
7points
AsexualShrimp (Submission author) 3 years ago
Oh bhahah I meant “not applying for that scholarship”
Susanne B 3 years ago
Maybe you didn't feel like it, because there was something else you wanted, and it cannot be wrong to go for that else...
AsexualShrimp (Submission author) 3 years ago
I was such a good student. I’ve never gotten a B on a report card in my life. I was extremely overqualified for the 100% scholarship, in Florida I think it’s called the Medallion. But I was just a lazy teenager who thought people exaggerated student debt. I was wrong. It’s wasn’t because I was wanting something else, it was because of my laziness.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I regret not applying for scholarships at all- my brother did two years later and it paid for his whole course plus extra spending money. Then again, where I live, your student debt is paid off in increments by your employer out of your pay, based on how much you earn- I'm never going to earn a lot (health problems means I can only work about 15 hrs a week) so nothing is being taken out of my pay and I will probably never have to pay it back.
#20
I regret a quite a bit. I often regret the fact that I gave up on being a kid. This may not make perfect sense but I can try and explain. Growing up it was just my mom and I and she was always busy. (I mean she was trying to keep me alive and cared for in our iffy situation.) I had to be grown up and responsible for myself and I lost touch with the me who really enjoyed things or played with toys. I felt that wasn't most important. I strived to be perfect and helpful at every turn and I just got farther and farther from being a kid. It doesn't matter that I'm still young, the fact is now I'm older and it's even less excepted for me to be able to act like a child. I grew up too fast due to my situation and I'm never gonna get those years, or those memories of being a real kid, back.
Final score:
7points
Christina B 3 years ago
I had a similar situation too so can relate a bit...all I can say is you are never too old to act like a kid again sometimes...go to the zoo, ride a skateboard, make silly faces and just laugh...might not be perfect and might be a little late but it's something... Don't hold on to the past and what you may have missed...make your future matter and be as fun as possible, you don't want to look back thinking you don't have those later year memories either :)
Person (Submission author) 3 years ago
I really appreciate you saying that. Also you are entirely correct, and you've helped give me some hope. So thank you for writing your comment. :)
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Monique Reed 3 years ago
For most things in life, there is no upper age limit. If you want Legos, buy Legos. If you want to put your hair up in pigtails and go on the carousel, do it. If the funny kiddie book or movie makes you laugh, read/watch it. Fingerpaint. Have a slumber party with your besties. If you feel self-conscious about doing "child" things, maybe find a child to do them with! I guarantee there are kids out there who would *love* to have an adult do fun things with them.
Patti Vance 3 years ago
totally related to this. i was/am so serious sometimes. i know that adults have to play and i could never really relax and do it....until i had a grandchild. even with my own kid i could be playful but still had to be a parent. but when that grandkid came into my life i didn't care what anyone thought if i wore face paint, dressed crazy, etc. and, the good part is now i don't give a damn about anything people think or say.
Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
Play, do what makes you happy. Take friends with you and make a day of it. SO & I are 52 and are silly every day!
#21
I regret not having chosen to study a career that was aligned with my talents. At that time I didn't see myself as good enough. I let my parents choose my career for me. I graduated, found a job, am doing well, but I feel like an impostor most of the time. The more time passes the more I find my job title meaningless. My soul is absolutely not into my work. I daydream constantly of where I would be if I had chosen differently, of different paths. I wish I could change but having responsibilities makes it difficult. Maybe one day... maybe...
Final score:
7points
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
What Huddo's sister said. Also, consider this: you have a passionless job that pays your bills, and leaves you free to explore the things you really want to do without any financial pressure! Especially if it's something artistic (I assume?), the joy of doing what you love may wear off when it becomes a must-do / must be productive.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
It's never too late to make a change. I have a few friends who have left the jobs to pursue their passions recently. One now has her own photography business and is doing really well, the other is building her skills and experience to move into the baking industry. You've had the job you needed at the time, now do something that is for yourself.
LB 3 years ago
Yes! I had an art teacher when I was young who was a speech therapist, quit her job and studied art history at 50 and then taught art at her house.
Load More Replies... Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
I also have friends who completely changed their careers in their 40s, from horse stable person (don't know the title) to optician, and from graphic designer to hairdresser. What if you wait 10 years and later regret not doing it sooner? It's YOUR life. Go for it!
Nephophilia 3 years ago
This kind of stuff scares me, not taking the right path that is, and constantly regretting for the rest of your life due to one poor choice.
#22
I regret, with my whole heart, not getting diagnosed & medicated years before I had children. I was a terrible, out of control rage mother. I never physically hurt them, but what I put them through was worse. Until I was medicated when they were in their teens, my kids were ( rightfully) scared of me. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret 1983 thru 1996.
Final score:
7points
Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
Have you spoken to your children about this? You could arrange a get-together at home and apologise, tell them everything. Your relationship will be stronger.
#23
Not breaking up earlier with my ex(es). I have issues, we all do but I'm in my thirties now and I just started seeking help for my anxiety, my self-esteem, my depression and go on. My parents where alcoholics (and my father used drugs as well) and I barely remember times when they where sober, supportive or just.. nice to me. So skip ahead a few years and I'm in relationship after relationship and their all abusive in their own way, making me feel small and useless. That their the only person in the world that takes me seriously and loves me like no other. They lied. They cheated, and I forgave. They took my money (which I had to work f*****g hard for!), my pride, my self-esteem, my sense of joy and one even got me as far as morning to a sucky town with unbelievable stupid dumb***es.. AND I FORGAVE. And one day I woke up and thought, f*** this I can't go on going from one idiot to another and die at the end and think: 'jolly well, life was swell'. So I dumped the idiot I was dating (who did not want to commit and only wanted me around for sex and food) and I started working on myself. Loving me, working out, going back to school, saving money and buying the clothes I wanted to wear and cut my hair how I wanted it and all that! I feel better most days and sometimes my low self-esteem kicks in and my husband just hugs me and says everything is going to be okay. I am now in a healthy relationship, we share the bills, we support eachother, we take time for eachother and ourselfs. Best of all: I think I'm (kinda) cool and worth it!
Final score:
7points
#24
My father was in hospice. I set up a trip to go see him before he passed. My sister offered to take me a week early. When she went to see him he told her stories and hugged her and said that he loved her. When I went a week later he couldn't form a sentence. He would look around the room and tug at his shirt like a toddler. He was gone before I ever got there. The cancer had gotten to his brain in the week that I waited. I wish I had gone with my sister...the doctors had given him two months...I thought I had time. He lasted 4 weeks, and I never really got to say goodbye. I was only able to talk to a shred of the man who raised me...I can only hope he heard me.
Final score:
7points
Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
Talk to him now. Speak to him, express your love and everything you wanted him to know. You will feel so much better.
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
These are the worst regrets- the ones you can’t possibly fix. All you can do is forgive yourself I talk to my mom (long passed) almost every night, and it helps my feelings of sadness & regret. Who knows? Maybe they can “hear” us as long as we talk to them !
#25
Expressing my sympathies on a memorial for one of our wonderful teachers who had passed away. I had a wonderful story about her and I just chickened out to step up to the mic when invited. She was an amazing person…
Final score:
6points
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Ex-teacher here. It's probably not too late to write a note to her family. I'm sure they'd be touched and grateful.
Steve Barnett 3 years ago
When I was giving a eulogy to my mother, I meant to mention the one time she was cruel and mean to me. I wanted a syrup sponge pudding. My mum made me it, but told me to eat it all (It could’ve fed at least four). That was the worst thing my mother ever did to me.
#26
When I was interning at a company in upstate New York in 90s, my boss took me to this airplane show at one small airport (Saratoga). On display were many of WW2 planes. Think of British Spitfire, P51 Mustangs, etc. They were doing demo flights and asked attendees who want to fly in the backseat say for 15 kins. I was asked, and I said no thanks. The thought was, they were 70 year-old planes, who can guarantee they can still fly. Thinking back... I should have taken the offer, the risk be damned.
Final score:
6points
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
That's pretty wild! Maybe you could still do something crazy like that if you have the urge. I parasailed off a cliff while strapped to an instructor a few years ago, and it was a hoot!
#27
I regret not trying to convince my grandma to stop smoking (I was just a kid) but I regret it because she died from it and most of all I regret never being able to hug her again.(I really just hope she could be proud of me)
Final score:
6points
Jason Marin 3 years ago
I had an aunt who died from lung cancer due to smoking every day of her life. Her son, my older cousin kept trying to talk her out of smoking and even tried to extend her life by not allowing her to smoke in his car.
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Oh, sweetie, I'm sure if your grandma had known how to stop, she would have. She almost certainly knew it was bad for her, and plenty of people had probably told her to stop in the past, but she couldn't pull it off. By your very existence, you were proving every day that she had something to live for. Given the character traits you show in this comment, I'm sure she was very, very proud of you.
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
Your parents' and grandparents' health and life choices are absolutely not your responsibility! They are adults and are supposed to take of themselves. Very sorry for your loss, and I hope you can stop mentally linking it to this thing you couldn’t prevent.❤
Who Panda 420 3 years ago
You can only do so much as a kid. I used to hide my grandpa's cigarettes and he would get so angry. He never did anything to me but he would yell at me until I eventually got them for him it was the one thing that would really make him mad.
kathryn stretton 3 years ago
You couldn't have convinced her. She was addicted. Stopping smoking is a complex and personal journey. Not your fault, at all.
#28
Not continuing education after high school. I was too busy partying in my younger days. I was an average student only because I didn't apply myself. By the time I was ready to get a higher education, I was living on my own and had no money. That's my biggest regret.
Final score:
6points
Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
There are cheap books on eBay, free books on the internet and libraries everywhere. Educate yourself!
#29
My manager at my first job was an absolutely kickass lady. She had some issues, but she was a great person to talk to (I told her stuff about my life that I never even told my parents) and was always ready to go to bat for us part-timers when the rest of the management was treating us like s**t. She was middle-aged and didn't have any kids, so the first Mother's Day after I worked there, I texted her something like "Happy Mother's Day to my work mom". The next year I meant to text her that again, but I forgot. A few days later, I went into work and one of the other managers informed me the awesome manager had ended her own life the previous night. I still wonder if my sending her a nice text might have caused her to rethink her decision.
Final score:
6points
Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
Having been heavily suicidal, once you have decided to go, you're pretty much set. Don't beat yourself up about this.
#30
I regret taking care of my health when I was in university. I was a healthy kid and I wish I kept my healthy habits when I began living alone.
Final score:
5points
#31
Didn't keep up with my Spanish. When I was 4, I was as fluent as a 4 year old gets, mom had to remind me to speak English after my trip to Mexico for my birthday to visit the Tías and cousins, (my Abuelita had a lot of sisters) but My Dad never spoke it with me, so I forgot the language, which is a shame.
Final score:
5points
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
https://www.pimsleur.com/learn-spanish-latin-american -it's really good.
Buggycas (Submission author) 3 years ago
Or I could ask Dad and Abuelita. My retention bites though. As my Grandpa Michael would say, "I have a brain like a steel..... Sieve."
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 3 years ago
My sister has mentioned a couple of times recently she wishes she kept learning Chinese, but she only really learned it for a year in preschool. With your family connection it might be easier? As long as you can get your meaning across when you talk to them though, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. I grew up in an area with a lot of Greek and Italian families. So many kids would complain about having to go to Greek/Italian school on the weekends because even though the older family members spoke it at home, it wasn't enough for the younger ones to pick up alone. One of my cousin's families has done well though. Their mother is Danish and their father Australian, so when they were kids (and maybe now too) their mum would only speak Danish with them and their father only English. It was great emersion for them.
#32
I did not save my inheritance but spent it on living, a car and vet bills while in university.
Final score:
5points
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Hey, you had to live. And your pet had to live too. You made the right choice.
#33
A girl I was obsessed with offered me... that. yes. THAT. I walked away in panic.
Final score:
5points
Marcelo Mabuchi 3 years ago
Maybe it was for the better, if you panicked you probably weren't ready for it
censorshipsucks (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thanks that is some kind consolation.
Load More Replies... Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
What did she offer? Why was it panic-inducing? Wasn't there a way to say sorry and ask for second chance?
censorshipsucks (Submission author) 3 years ago
Way too late, this was like 15 years ago, still haven't got over it. Physical intimacy obviously was the offer.
Load More Replies... #34
Had a neighbour who was an excellent sculptor. Offered to teach me but I was too young and stupid. Probably my biggest missed oppourtunity.
Final score:
5points
#35
I was offered a job as a dresser for the traveling Broadway series, but turned it down. Odd that I was bemoaning that very thing yesterday.
Final score:
4points
Caro Caro 3 years ago
What a coincidence that you was thinking about it. That must have been a great job. Why did you turn it down??
HarriMissesScotland (Submission author) 3 years ago
I was married, and still at University. I really should have done it.
Load More Replies... #36
Where to start? I'd say not finishing college in pursuit of a journalist career. I thought a blue collar job in a local company would take care of me for life, as the company my Dad worked for would. #poordecision
Final score:
4points
albernistuff 4sale 3 years ago
FWIW a journalism career is not exactly secure employment in this modern world
#37
I was 18 and in my first few days at university. I met up with a girl I had liked since primary school (but she went to a different secondary school). We had dinner together but I cut it short as I wanted to watch the highlights of a sporting event that I knew the result of. Still regret my facepalm decision 35 years later.
Final score:
4points
#38
Was asked to take fotographs at the wedding of my best friend - i am not a professional. Promised her younger brother not to take any of him, because he felt very uncomfortable in front of a camera. Two weeks later he suddenly died. I regret this promise and this decision, because these pictures could have been the last happy memories of him for the family. (Sorry for any typos)
Final score:
4points
#39
Giving my son up for adoption 20 yrs ago. I think about it every day.
Final score:
4points
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
Of course you do. You did the best you could do, both for yourself AND your child. You made an unselfish, loving decision. I applaude you and wish you all the best.
Kim Contreras 3 years ago
I understand your hurt. I would feel the same for sure. But as a mother of a child we adopted I want you to know that your baby made our lives wonderful and I do believe you would like the life we provided. I know you would be proud to know how the great, wonderful, thoughtful adult your baby turned out to be. Thank you for this gift that surpasses all possible gifts!
Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
You did what was best for your child. You can still try and find them!
#41
I had a neighbour confide in me that their spouse was beating them. The spouse was 6ft 3, regularly being physically and verbally abusive and they didn't want to leave because of their daughter. I regret not helping my neighbour get away from his terrible wife.
Final score:
3points
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
Maybe he just needed to say it out loud- perhaps to give himself the courage to help himself. Sometimes all you can do is listen. Because you couldn’t leave FOR him.
#42
My brother and I had talked about taking a year off after we both finished college to move to Japan, teach English, and practice a martial art we'd been studying since we were little kids. We have family in Tokyo and could have stayed with them for nothing, and an aunt said she could set us up as tutors. Instead, we both found jobs and settled into a grind for 30+ years. I often wonder how things would have been different had we gone.
Final score:
3points
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
Oh man. Parallel lives. I like to imagine another “me” living the life. Then I enjoy all sorts of outlandish plot lines.give it a try!
#43
I don't have many regrets, but one of the few I do have is probably not asking a really nice guy from camp for his number
Final score:
2points
kathryn stretton 3 years ago
He didn't ask you for yours either, so, maybe wasn't meant to be.
#44
I regret not communicating with my ex more, we might still be together and I wouldn’t be alone in fighting the disease I have. It’s scary and lonely, and being in the hospital having surgeries and no one to be with you (my family lives far away) is the worst feeling in the world.
Final score:
2points
Patti Vance 3 years ago
don't be scared. i was married for 32 yrs and when i became ill things changed. maybe if i would have spoke more to him about the struggles it would have changed things. but, he really didn't want to listen. this was a person i thought would have back no matter what. one day i decided that i was better off alone dealing with this as he was adding stress because of his attitudes. don't know what your relationship was like but know you are your best ally and supporter. you get your strength from within. and, it's okay to break down, get angry, cry, etc. i personally have one to two pity parties a week.
Benji (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thank you for those words, im just in a scary and lonely place ... you're right I'm allowed to have a pity party, I've been hiding a lot of my feelings.
Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
You could ask a relative with whom you are closest to come and stay for a while. Lots of them probably want to visit, but you're doing the whole "oh I'm OK, I'll be fine" nonsense. It's totally fine to ask for help!
Load More Replies... #45
Not going to community college. I could have worked at Archie Comics. I can draw the characters very well.
Final score:
2points
#46
My husband traveled to Ukraine several times on business. The folks he met with offered to host me with a driver/security and translator, but for several reasons I never took them up on it. Will always regret that now.
Final score:
2points
#47
Not staying in the Army for 20 years and being only 37 y/o with a steady retirement check. (Would have been a nice income supplement while continuing to work)
Final score:
2points
#49
this was kind of easy for me. i returned to college after 8 years. by that time i had married and had a child. while in college i was invited to go to the u.k. and study at the university of kent. my family was supportive of this and i began to make plans. another student was also invited so we thought we would make it a duet of an experience. shortly before i would have left my son came down with bronchitis. then, it turned into pneumonia and he was hospitalized. he was getting better as the time for me to leave approached but i could not leave. i knew i would probably land in heathrow, call home and the climb on another plane to go back home. ironically, my partner's dad had a heart attack and she also cancelled her plans. i remember so clearly sitting in the college lounge watching the fall of the berlin wall and turning to each other and almost saying at the same time "i know where we would be right now'. so, yes, i regret not taking the opportunity but i think i would have been haunted by my selfishness had i gone. i don't think i could have tolerated that.
Final score:
2points
Patti Vance (Submission author) 3 years ago
thank you and, yes, i still think that i made the right decision. my now 42 yr old son tells me that i should have gone but understands. and no, he does not feel any blame for this as he is a parent and gets it.
Load More Replies... #50
I regret not going to a public college. I got the same exact degree from a private school for a lot more $$$, and now (15 years later) I don't even use my degree. The one good thing that came out of college was meeting my husband, so i definitely don't regret that part.
Final score:
2points
#51
I regret that I didn't listen to my parents and save more money. I shudder to think about all the c**p I've bought over the years, and now don't even have anymore.
Final score:
2points
#52
I regret not taking the opportunity to be an au pair for a family in Italy when I was in my early 20's. I live in New Zealand would have been a great opportunity to see the world.
Final score:
2points
Elizabeth Molloy 3 years ago
Or spend your entire day, every day surrounded by kids and never get to see anything!
#53
I regret not buying the beautiful book with all the photos of St. Matthias Church (Mátyás Templom) when I was in Budapest. One of the most beautiful buildings I've ever been in, and the tour didn't stop long enough to get many photos.
Final score:
2points
#55
I played trumpet all through junior and high school and I was pretty good. Made the All-Star Marching Band and District Honor Band. Since I knew I wasn’t going to major in music, when I went to college I didn’t touch the instrument much except for a half-hearted attempt years later for the county community band. It was obvious I had lost some of my skill. Now, decades later I can only make it sound like a tortured goose. I regret that I didn’t just keep playing it for my own personal enjoyment and continue to improve my talent. Going to college I was in the mind-set that I had to buckle down and “focus on the future.” What an idiot.
Final score:
2points
#56
That I didn’t tell a trusted adult about my mental health problems until I had 3 or 4 panic attacks
Final score:
2points
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
But you DID tell them, which is a very big thing. Please give yourself another big cup of self. Healing!
#58
I regret not being more ambitious when I was younger. I have this fantasy of going back to my high school and talking to the students and warning them... do NOT sit around waiting for it to come to you. Even if you aren't sure what you want to do...find something, anything, you don't hate and try that. If you don't think you'll need college to do what you want to do, then don't go! You're wasting time. Honestly, if the field you want is trade work....I wouldn't even finish high school. Get your GED and start NOW at the bottom. The only reason to stay in school at all is to get into college. Public school in the US teaches you nothing useful in your last 2 years of high school so get your GED and start as an apprentice in a field. By the time you're 20 you'll be way ahead of the game. And you can go back to get specialized training if need-be or even go to community college if you really want to. But unless you're going to a great pedigree college that has job placement and you'll start somewhere making good money on that alone (Harvard, Yale, specialized schools, etc), then you're going to start at the bottom anyway and can probably get hired off the street without spending 100k on college. So save yourself the money. I didn't have the opportunity to stay with my parents and I didn't have a friend's couch I could sleep on while I 'found' myself. If you're lucky enough to have that opportunity then don't squander it. Save money and try different jobs until you find something you don't hate. And then stick to it. I used to love cooking but once I started doing it as a job I really hated it. I wish I'd been mature enough to realize it was the actual place I was working that was bad and not the job. I wish I'd known better or had someone in my life that could have guided me more. I wish I'd stuck to it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and, in a way, I still don't. Everyone just kept telling me it would 'come to me'. That's not true and I floundered for years. Now my situation makes it almost impossible for me to start over at the bottom somewhere making minimum wage. I have a useless Master's degree and I've never been able to find anything I really love to do, so work of any kind has always been miserable for me. Don't make my mistake; start young and stick to it.
Final score:
1point
Person 3 years ago
Kate Jones I definitely don't know your entire situation but I do understand not being able to find something that feels right. I'm not sure if this will just be annoying for you to hear (Please let me know if it is) but finding a great hobby might help take the edge off the misery. And who knows, maybe you find a hobby you love so much you turn it into an occupation! Of course I understand that at this day and age there doesn't seem to be much time for hobbies, but I find if I have just 15 minutes where I feel like doing something, not work related, I go try doing something to at least see if I enjoy it. It could be making a quick DnD character or doodling, maybe origami if that's your thing. But no matter what it is, it's good to find something to take that edge off the feeling of misery. (Sorry for the ramble)
Kate Jones (Submission author) 3 years ago
I definitely find ways to do what I love as a hobby but to make it the career I would want it to be would mean starting at the bottom. I love cooking and would love to start a small restaurant. I'm a great cook, but I don't have experience working in restaurants so getting a bank loan would be almost impossible. I do some catering work on the side but I don't have enough time to really turn it into anything profitable. To get experience I'd have to start at a restaurant at minimum wage and train there and I can't afford to do that. Working in restaurants requires long hours and you aren't able to work another job doing it. So there are a lot of issues. And at this point I'm not sure if I even had the energy even if I could afford it; it takes working 16-20 hour days to make a restaurant work in some cases and it could still fail. Failing in your 20s is one thing but it's a lot scarier in your 40s. If I fail, starting over somewhere and getting hired is a lot harder the older you get.
Load More Replies... #59
I'm going light here...I had the opportunity to meet Metallica (25-28 yrs ago) and didn't do it because I was too hung over. And I was like 22 and they were still the s**t.
Final score:
1point
#60
I regret not shopping colleges before I graduated high school. Our school didn't really put much focus on it, and there was miscommunication in my family about my dad paying for me to attend brown college (since defunct and closed). What he said was that he would pay the application fee. Almost 20 years later, I'm still paying on student loans for the most useless degree ever to be printed on paper.
Final score:
1point
#61
Staying put in first house. Moving cost us. First house, with big section worth a fortune now...or could have built on it again for family.
Final score:
1point
#62
My father left when I was 6 and never looked back, my mother was completely emotionally detached, and it really had a bad effect on me. I was brutal to my kid brother for years. As a result he suffered from extremely low self-esteem and drank himself to death at the age of 35. My treatment of him was a major contributing factor. I can never forgive myself for not being the big brother he wanted and deserved.
Final score:
1point
#63
I regret not going to Egypt with a friend of mine when he invited me to go for 3 months. He was Catholic and I wasn't. I was ~19 y.o. and I thought I would get kidnapped (eye roll). I should have gone. The man always treated me with respect even with 15 years between us. I regret getting married instead of staying the last two months in college to finish my degree. I finished it later after my divorce but it was hard going back. Then went to have a few certificates and a bachelor degree because my 2nd husband encouraged me. I regret letting my own family gaslighting me, abuse me physically and mentally and not telling anyone. I should have spoken up and get help. I'm still dealing with PTSD after 50 years.
Final score:
1point
#64
When I was 19 (I am now 68) I had a chance to go to Japan with a plane full of a Japanese family that was going home to visit. It would have only cost me $600 for 3 weeks with room and board and airfare. Staying with the family and being shown the sights. THAT was the biggest mistake of my life. I had a cruddy job that was worth quitting and had plenty of money saved, too.
Final score:
0points
#65
I wish I had joined the Wrens (Women's Royal Navy), but in those days I didn't have the confidence, and they didn't go to sea. Now it's all under the Royal Navy and women serve on board. I don't have many regrets, but that's one of the biggest.
Final score:
0points
#66
Not applying for more scholarships. I get free tuition for any college in Massachusetts, but I'm gonna need a little more of a "boost" than that. I'm still gonna have a LOT of debt afterwards.
Final score:
0points
#67
Getting my PhD. I have two Masters, and was accepted into a Doctoral program. Then I chickened out.
Final score:
0points
#68
I didn't do the dishes right after dinner on June 17, 1978. It was my turn, and I figured I had plenty of time to do them, so I let them sit in the sink. I was 16, and had just finished my junior year in high school. Not much later, a friend came over, and he and my older brother decided to go out. Since I hadn't done the dishes, I couldn't go with them. That night, they were kidnapped at gunpoint and beaten. Our friend died of his injuries, and my brother was traumatized for the rest of his life. Had I been with them, they would not have been kidnapped. Had I washed the dishes right after dinner, I would have been with them.
Final score:
0points
Kim Contreras 3 years ago
Not so. You have no way of knowing how the night would've gone. Stop carrying this heavy burden, and please, find a good counselor to help you work through your grief and misplaced sense of responsibility.
#69
This is so small compared to most of the other stories but what the hell... In my first year at university I was in love with this guy. I mean head over heels, completely on cloud nine when I was with him, the most intense emotion I've ever felt in my life. But I didn't know how he felt and I was scared if I told him he wouldn't feel the same and would leave. I never told him but we split anyway. I still think about him every now and then, nearly 40 years later. I wish I'd just told him. I think most of my regrets in life are things I didn't do, rather than things I did.
Final score:
0points
#70
I have regrets for not immediately fulfilling my grandmother's simple request. She asked me to draw his self-portrait because she knew I could draw (I'm not that good). But I always put it off. Until one day, my desire to draw my grandmother finally appeared, I waited for tomorrow to draw because at that time I did not have my drawing tools. Unfortunately ... that night, my grandmother passed away. This is one of my biggest regrets. Because I'm sure, no matter how bad the result. My grandmother would love it and I couldn't make it happen while she was still with me.
Final score:
0points
#72
I regret not listening to my friend who dated my former roommate before I moved in with him. She knew he was just using me like he had used her. If I had listened to her, it would have saved me a lot of time, energy, money and heartache.
Final score:
0points
#73
I turned down a full ride scholarship to Temple University to stay with a guy I eventually ended up leaving. He wouldn’t move back east so I stayed out west.
Final score:
0points
#74
I have a few deeply painful regrets, all about failing loved ones, but I don't want to write about those. Instead I'll tell you about a regret that's more on the "bummer" level: Over 20 years ago, when I was in university, a guy who was the son of a famous singer-songwriter and had reportedly inherited his father's talent heard me singing along to a few songs at a party. We spent the whole night together playing pool and talking, and at some point he told me that he'd written enough songs for a whole album and had been looking for a woman to sing them - and that he wanted me to do it, because he liked my voice. He had his own music studio, so it would be an easy thing to do, and since I knew a good friend of his, who'd vouched for him as a genuine, decent and sweet person, and who knew about the search for a female singer, I was sure it was legit, and that I'd be completely safe if I did it. ... But I said no, because I had a feeling that the guy (who was a very sensitive and romantic person and got sort of starry-eyed when he looked at me) was about to fall in love with me, and I didn't want to lead him on. I applaud my young self for being considerate that way, but still... I've regretted it ever since. It would've been a fun experience, but more importantly: I was in fact a good singer back then (I'd been on my way to becoming an opera singer, but had changed my mind), and because I've since lost much of my voice due to smoking, it would be nice to have a good recording from before the decline.
Final score:
0points
#75
I did not stay in my home state to go to college. I went out of state to get away from home and because of that I lost the best guy ever! He went on to have a happy life and mine basically repeated what I was trying to escape.
Final score:
0points
#76
I regret not breaking up with partners when it had run it's course or was not working out. I hung in there, not wanting to hurt the other person's feelings but I was hurt when they eventually broke up with me. I guess it takes maturity and a bit of grit to tell someone 'this isn't working for me'.
Final score:
0points
Vicky De Raedemaeker 3 years ago (edited)
.The operation on monday was a great succces (tongue cancer). The last time i saw my dad was on a wensday, he was fine. As i walked tru the door i yelled "love you" and my mom said he rolled his eyes. On Friday i didn't go to see him because a lot of my family were going. Saturday morning they called . Hey had a heart attack in the night en was put in a medical coma.He had a septic shock because of a medical error en died on monday Because his organs wer falling out one by one. I blame myself for not going on friday.... he wa 61 en my best friend.
#77
I didn't go to my brother's wedding. I only had 3 week's notice, it was overseas and I would've had to put the flights on my credit card and my job contract was ending in a month. I've regretted not going ever since.
Final score:
0points
#78
Talking to Mayim Bialik. She attended my sister's wedding (she's maybe 2nd cousin to my BIL?) when she was at UCLA. We were close to the same age and I had grown up watching Blossom and feeling represented as a fellow goofy/awkward girl. My sister said that Mayim was shy and she wanted her to be comfortable at the wedding, so she asked us to not speak to her as a celebrity. I ended up next to her in the buffet line and respected my sister's wishes and avoided the urge to gush over her. I just tried to let her enjoy her time off with her family. But I sort of regret it. I wish I could have just thanked her for making me feel "seen" as a kid.
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
Susanne B 3 years ago
I have heard, that when someone dies, they mostly regret, that they didn't tell their husband, child, friend, that thy love them and something they didn't do but wish they had. I heard so many people talking about what they will do later, but dont' wait. Do it when you can!
Susanne B 3 years ago
I have heard, that when someone dies, they mostly regret, that they didn't tell their husband, child, friend, that thy love them and something they didn't do but wish they had. I heard so many people talking about what they will do later, but dont' wait. Do it when you can!
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