Hey Pandas, What Did Your Parents Do To You, That, As An Adult, You Realize Wasn’t Okay? (Closed)
Everyone makes mistakes. Even the people who raise us and are supposed to know it all and be infallible. What mistakes did your parents make raising you, that you still think about and maybe might hold a little resentment about?
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I'll go first. First, I should mention that I am the youngest of 4, the only girl, and that my parents adopted me when I was 3 months old, because I was a girl. I've been pudgy all my life. It was never a "thing" until I hit puberty at age 12. I was l about 5'5" & weighed 140lbs. I had hit my final height of 5'10" at 17 years old, and weighed 160 lbs. to 170lbs. All through school, I swam on the schools swim team. From 2nd grade until I graduated high school. And all through my high school years, I swam on 2 separate teams, my school team and a community team (think YMCA, but not). This was in Southern California, so we swam year round. I was active. I was literally in the pool every single day, with meets on the weekends...but I was still pudgy. My mom (was) is 5'7", and 125 lbs. soaking wet. She hounded me about my weight for years. She took it , what I think was way too far. I started going to Weight Watchers when I was 13. Once a week. For 4 years. And because I wasn't losing much weight, (according to the weekly weigh-ins), and 'since I obviously wasn't working that hard during my daily (2x daily during the summer) swim practices, I should have *plenty* of energy to ride my bike to these weekly meetings, 4.5 miles each way, after I got home from swim practice. There were closer meetings, (it was L.A. in the late 80's, early 90's....Weight Watchers were everywhere), but this location worked best with my schedule. My weight is still something I struggle with every day. I'm 48 years old and about 185lbs, and to this day, whenever we get together, whether it's a positive statement or a negative one, she mentions my weight in the first 20 minutes of our visit. We're 1500 miles apart, so thankfully these visits don't happen very often. So....yeah....I that against her....even after all these years. I think had this not been such a thing with her, I would now have a healthy self image. But....every single day....every time I look in the mirror, I feel just a little bit disgusted at what I see....and I blame her for that.
Your mother sounds horrible... im sorry she made you feel this way about yourself, but you are beautiful, you have an amazing heart and soul and your mother doesnt know what she missed... i hope one day youll be able to look in the mirror and not see a shape but a person, an incredible las who is beautiful inside and out :]
Not an adult, but screaming at me for honest mistakes.
Not an adult yet, but shaming me for not spending enough time with them. My school had us do this activity where we calculated how many hours of stuff we had to do per day. I was above 28, without getting enough sleep. If I have too much homework, they guilt trip me for spending more time on school. If my grades aren't high enough, they guilt trip me for not spending enough time on school. Plus, they give me more chores than I can handle.
When I'm with them, they make me miserable. I don't even have time to be with them. Doesn't matter, I should spend more time with them.
Impossible sto please them. Quit trying. Just do the best you feel comfortable doing. Don't let them make youreel you are never good enough. Trust me, that is no way to live.
Putting their hands on me (spanking) and not listening to me at all expecting me tell them everything
Kids, if your parents want to know everything that happens at school or something tell them most things but leave few parts out- they'll never catch you trust me
