Please make this child-appropriate. That's my only request. Okie bye!
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My family (at least my dad’s side) speaks fluent Movie Quote. This is from a movie with Tim Curry and Sylvester Stallone (idk the name) but all i know is there are two briefcases, one has a million dollars and one has women’s underwear and SS is trying to get the one with the money. So, he takes what he thinks is the case with the money to TC and this is how the scene goes. SS: Most men spend their whole lives trying to get their hands on this. TC: (opens the briefcase and women’s underwear fall out, SS bangs his head on the desk repeatedly) Ah, yes Mr. Provolone. I’ve never seen so much money (TC thinks that SS has lost his mind). TC: Here’s money (he pulls out a piece of underwear) Here’s more money (another piece) and oh look, here is a lovely new twenty dollar bill (he pulls out another piece) Idk why it’s so funny but it is lol.
One time me and my brothers were playing Among Us, and it was my first time setting up a room, and their first time playing the game. I made it private to make sure they could join it first, and figure out how to set up the room. So while I was trying to do that, someone I didn't know joined (We had a private room stile while that happened.)....They're name was, "Banana Nip". In the chat, my brother and I were SCREAMING at him to leave, "Before we banned him". He didn't even say anything WHATSOEVER, and just left. Then, the joke was born. "We did it boys. Banana Nip is no more!" Instant classic
One time me and my friend (let’s call her Samantha) and my brother were at McDonald’s and “Samantha” told my brother to find me and say “found you!” But when he found me he said HA HA FOUND YOU STRAWBERRY KNOCK KNOCK!” it was hilarious!
Also me, my mom, and my brother were dropping me off at dance and my mom had a frozen chicken for dinner. When we were walking out my mom said “don’t step on the chicken!”
One more. When me “Samantha” and both our moms were driving home from a movie ( the movie Yesterday about the Beatles) and we were reading jokes and I read one. “ what happens when you leave and ice cube outside?” Then I read the answer for the NEXT joke “turn it off” you had to be there.
I like to randomly send my friend an image of Tyler Joseph photoshopped onto vermeer’s girl with a pearl earring. It’s always completely unrelated to the conversation we’re having. I find it hilarious. My friend found it very obnoxious and annoying at first, but now they think it’s funny.
Here’s the image
https://harlowchii.tumblr.com/post/637900586064494592/the-best-thing-i-ever-photoshopped
But of a weird one, but an old friend of mine and I were out ing the hallway, my school had hall passes, I forgot mine, she approached me and goes “Good sir, where is your hall pass” and this was before lunch, so I was starving, and I just said “since the (insert teachername:837.exe here) is keeping us for the rest of her days, I ate it.” And now “I ate it” is a valid excuse for ever losing something between us.
My mum (she didn't do it on purpose) hit my dad on the head with a whipped cream can. Every time we have whipped cream we joke around about it.
Don't lock your legs in flood season.
this is between me and my friends at school. most of the science classes at my school are on the second floor but one science class was on the first. me and my friends were used to the second-floor classes so it was a bit weird. when I have science it was the last hour of school so the buses would drive by the window for pick-up and when my friend saw the bus go by, she said loudly the bus is flying!! everyone looked at her like she was crazy. every now-and-then we would mention it just to bug her.
Ok...what does the top part have to do about science class? Sorry if this sounds rude T^T
hazbin hotel inside joke
Karen Killjoy
Chad Trench
Cherry Boomer
Ankle dust
........
Last year me and my parents went outside at night to see a comet that was passing that week. We live by the sea, so there are a lot of gulls in my town. They like to nest on the roof of a certain elementary school that is perched on the side of a high hill overlooking the water, in a kind of rich neighborhood. It was after dark, and all the schools had long since been closed for lockdown, so there wasn't anyone there. Dad thought it was a good idea to head up to the school grounds to get a better view of the comet, but me and Mom thought otherwise. Long story short, he did it anyway, and now the Killer Seagull Mafia of our town scolds him every time he walks by the school. The Killer Seagulls are watching... Always watching... XD
Last year me and my parents went outside at night to see a comet that was passing that week. We live by the sea, so there are a lot of gulls in my town. They like to nest on the roof of a certain elementary school that is perched on the side of a high hill overlooking the water, in a kind of rich neighborhood. It was after dark, and all the schools had long since been closed for lockdown, so there wasn't anyone there. Dad thought it was a good idea to head up to the school grounds to get a better view of the comet, but me and Mom thought otherwise. Long story short, he did it anyway, and now the Killer Seagull Mafia of our town scolds him every time he walks by the school. The Killer Seagulls are watching... Always watching... XD
