So I 16f met a guy on reddit 16m we get on really well and just recently decided to exchain instagrams, the problem is my mum doesnt like me talking to strangers on the internet and I think she will be angry with me for talking to somone that I dont know for context I have seen a couple of photos of him and trust him. Anyway he just recently made his instagram account so we could chat more (he lives in america and I am from the UK) so he only has me as a follow at the moment until his friends follw him, my friend said that she would cover for me and say that she introduced us but I think my mum will still be mad at me, I dont know what to do I really like talking to this guy and we get along well... please can you give me some advice? thank you
This post may include affiliate links.
Your mum is right to be worried. There are horrible people out there. I'm not saying that your guy is one of them, he is probably for real (I hope). But there have been cases in which older men have faked their identity, pretending to be teenagers themselves, sending photos of "themselves" to gain a girl's trust (of course the pics weren't him, just some random boy)... Telling the girl to switch to another site where it's easier to chat... Usually, the next step will be to ask the girl for pics... at some point he'll ask to send nudes... All the while having the girl believe he's that guy her age... You get my point.
Again I'm not saying this is necessarily what's happening here, but it's possible, and I think those are the concerns your mum is having. She's just really worried.
So, be extra careful, and to be entirely honest, I think it would be best to let your mum know.
Should add that once a stranger has your nudes, you're pretty much screwed because they can blackmail you. :-/
Look, just dont send this guy any money. Or explicit photos. And definately dont plan a trip to meet him in person.
Yes. Tell your mom. Tell her you would like to keep talking to him, but want to have her help in navigating this. Let her read what he’s saying and advise.
Yes I agree with the comments above
To make your mum feel safer, have an honest talk with her, about your feelings and your desires to keep talking with him but at the same time your compromise with being cautious. Because there is a reality in which, right now, I know TONS of people who met in social media and not necessarily everybody around internet wants to harm you.
Nevertheless, there are (SADLY) a lot of people out there who, in deed, want to take advantage of you… so as everyone said, no photos, no money, no sensitive information and if he wants to meet, well, NEVER ALONE. Maybe you will have to wait until your family is in the states and one day u can ask your parents to go somewhere where you know he will be or if he is in the UK, the same. Or invite him to do sth with a group of friends. Good luck!
Ah, and don’t be afraid to say no!! Someone who is worthy will always respect your NOs
Ah, and honestly I would wait to see if its true that his friends will start to follow him on Instagram The truth is that, if the time passes and he doesn't have any new follower apart from you ... sounds a bit fishy in my opinion I get if he is not in social media, but not having ANY friend who is in social media is weird BTW u can always do a videocall and play a game together or have a virtual coffee. Idk at least to know there is a real 16m on the other side and not a horrible disgusting pedofile... when he avoids videocalling, then you have your answer
I agree with the others here. I have a son your age and I can see exactly where your mum is coming from, I worry about him online too. In all honesty I’m a little sketched out by this and would suggest talking to your mum because not only does it help to build trust between the two of you, your mum can help you navigate this and keep an eye out for any potential red flags. I’m not saying that this person is someone my age being skeevy but there are ways to find out if it is in fact that person that you’re talking to reverse image searches are great for weeding out potential catfishers.
